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i>We're seventh in literacy,

27th in math,</i>

<i>22nd in science,

49th in life expectancy,</i>

178th in infant mortality,

third in median household income,

number four in labor force,

and number four in exports.

We lead the world

in only three categories:

Number of incarcerated

citizens per capita,

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number of adults who believe

angels are real,

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and defense spending

where we spend

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more than the next

26 countries combined,

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25 of whom are allies.

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Now, none of this is the fault of

a 20-year-old college student,

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but you nonetheless

are without a doubt

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a member of the worst period

generation period ever period.

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So when you ask what makes us

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the greatest country

in the world,

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