Hi, I’m Tan, Daniela’s secret admirer.

By the thought of being a secret admirer, you must think

that it’s sweet by third person perspective. Well, you’re half right; it’s a bitter sweet feeling having to
like someone without them knowing. Daniela is my heaven. Considering the fact that I don’t believe in
superficial things which can’t be proven by science such as heaven, you could say that Daniela is
also my miracle. At that time, she came when I wasn’t asking for anyone. We met though a common
friend. I don’t really care about her. I was just being a good person trying to blend in with them when
she challenged me in to a debate. I declined at first and told her that I just finished a debate, I don’t
wish to do another one but she’s persistent like an annoying child who always wants to get what they
want and will throw a tantrum when they can’t. I gave in and surprisingly, she makes sense. Not
enough sense to win over me though. She was so angry that I won, maybe because I stepped on her
ego. She was claiming that no one ever won over her when it comes to debates. I did. I’m her first.
After the debate, I realized that she’s my first exception. I was tired from a debate but I made her my
exception. My love in first debate, my V.I.P, my seat in the front row, my sunset, my honey, my every
hue, my art, my favorite movie, my campus crush, my everything. I never anticipated that she will
matter this much in my life but I’m happy she’s the half of my world now.

My life is not that great. Actually, everyone’s life is. But I have my creamer. She is my creamer.
This is kind of weird but she’s also my jelly. She lightens my day just by talking with her like how a
creamer makes the coffee better. One “hi” from her and my feelings wiggle like a jelly. When it comes
to her, small things matter the most, simple things become the greatest things, she’s my greatest
love. She’s my epitome of serenity. Her beauty makes me cry. Her nickname’s angel. I don’t believe
in God but I thank Him for making her my angel. The only missing part is her wings. I grew up thinking
that love is just a responsibility, love is a burden, love is just an extra baggage in my life, loving is
hard because that’s what I see. I’m actually wrong. It struck me that it’s the people who loves wrong;
their way of loving is wrong. I love Daniela more than enough to be able to bottle up my feelings and
just admire her. I don’t want to ruin what we have just by simply telling her my feelings. It all just
began with a debate. Now she makes my brain and heart debate. It’s scary knowing that something,
even just a little, something will definitely change when I tell her my feelings. I love her so much that
her smile completes my day. Her smile makes my whole life bloom with sunflowers and tulips. She’s
my music when I walk home alone because I don’t have enough money for transportation. Notice how
music makes you ignore time? With music, you won’t even notice you reached you destination
already. I just kick rocks along my way home and enjoy the music. That’s Daniela. Daniela is my
music. She comes with different genre and I want to discover every genre of her. She didn’t realize
that she became my sun. The sun that helps the moon shine during night. She will forever be my sun
without her knowing. I’m contented just by admiring her. That’s love.