OF WARTS AND WRESTLING ĐẤU 

VẬT VÀ CÂY MỤN CÓC

Summary: Summary

Iskall had just wanted some Nether warts. Well, specifically, Iskall chỉ muốn mấy cây mụn cóc Nether thôi. Cụ thể là mười. Giờ bỗng dư

ten Nether warts. Now he's the referee of a wrestling match
he knows nothing about, and Cub keeps on saying "cream of
the crop".
(In other words, Iskall gets very, very confused.)
___
Iskall had just wanted some warts. 
He had decided a few potions would come in handy, but then
he realized he didn't have the most crucial ingredient- Nether
warts. So Iskall took out his communicator and sent a
message to his fellow hermits.
ng y trở thành trọng tài cho một cuộc đấu vật mà y chả hiểu mẹ gì, còn Cu
b thì cứ luôn mồm hét “Kem của cây trồng.”
(Nói cách khác, Iskall bị bối rối vãi lòn.)
___
Iskall chỉ muốn mấy cây mụn cóc
Y nghĩ là đun mấy lọ thuốc thì khi cần có việc sẽ tiện hơn, nhưng nhận ra 
mình không có nguyên liệu quan trọng nhất: cây mụn cóc Nether. Nên y
rút máy điện đàm ra và gửi một tin nhắn lên kênh chat chung.
<iskall85> các đồng chí có ai có dư cây mụn cóc không ạ?

<iskall85> does anyone have a lot of wart?

On second thoughts, Iskall didn't need that much wart. It

wasn't like he was trying to open a potion shop; he just
wanted a couple of potions. "A lot" seemed like a bad phrase
to use, so Iskall quickly amended his message by sending
another text. 

<iskall85> or like, 10 wart

Iskall waited for a reply. He wondered if his neighbours could

help him, but Mumbo was busy working on his mega base (of
doom!), Stress was probably collecting sand, and Scar was
apparently "enchanting his villagers", whatever that meant.
And Grian said he had some business to do in the shopping
district.

To be frank, Iskall had thought that some of the more

technical hermits such as Cub and Xisuma would've managed
to obtain warts, and might've even created a small farm, but
still, no one replied. Iskall frowned and ran a hand through
his short, shaggy hair. Was everyone busy?

Well, Iskall could go to the Nether and find some warts

himself, but it wasn't easy to get into a Nether fortress
when all of their portals were on the roof of the Nether. And
besides, Iskall didn't want to risk his life in the hellish
dimension for ten measly Nether warts. 

On second thoughts, someone might have set up a shop for

Nether warts- it was unlikely, but still Iskall thought there
was no harm in paying a visit to the shopping district.
Besides, he could go and see if he had any profits at his slime
shop. 
But his train of thought was interrupted when Iskall stepped
through the shopping district portal and heard distant yelling
from what looked like an… arena? Iskall could even see a
bunch of hermits jumping around the arena, cheering and
screaming with all their might. 

Iskall was so confused. What was going on? What were his

friends up to? He readied his elytra and prepared to fly over
to the arena-

His communicator beeped. 

cubfan135 was slain by falsesymmetry-

Iskall didn't even bother to read the rest of the message. So

False had decided to kill Cub? Was that for the Head Games,
or for whatever that was going on in the arena?

As Iskall flew near the arena, he began to recognize his fellow

hermits. Doc, with his green creeper skin, was easy to
identify, but he was shirtless for some reason? Standing next
to Doc was Ren, who was also shirtless and tanned, with
sweat glinting on his chest. Iskall took a quick peek at the
other hermits and realized they were all wearing strange
clothing (except for Etho). To his great surprise, he even
found Grian there, wearing a black and white striped shirt. 

"Hello?" Iskall cried out, but his voice was drowned out by

the tumultuous noise of the hermits yelling and
whooping. Iskall haphazardly landed on one of the platforms
and grabbed a man with an orange headband. It
took Iskall three seconds to catch his breath. It took him
another three seconds to recognize the man was Cub. 

Cub was seemingly unfazed by Iskall's sudden appearance.

He held out a small cup of whipped cream. "Cream of the
crop, boys?"

"Wha-"

A blue, slimey arm shot between Cub and Iskall. Jevin, also

dressed in some weird wrestling gear, took the cup of cream.
"Thanks, Cub!"

"We're the cream of the crop," Cub repeated. He took out

another cup of cream and tried to thrust it
into Iskall's arms. Iskall didn't take it. 

"Oh my goodness! What is going on?!" Iskall exclaimed.

"See for yourself," Cub replied simply, and gestured to the

arena below them. 

Iskall looked. He saw two figures with leather boots trying to

stab each other with… wooden swords? One of them
managed to hit the other and Iskall discovered the swords
were enchanted with Knockback. Meanwhile, the hermits on
both sides of the arena were screaming their heads off. To
make matters more confusing, Grian was jumping and
hopping about in the middle of the arena. Perhaps… perhaps
he was acting as the referee?

"Is this like… advanced Head Games?" Iskall wondered out

loud. A flash of red outside the arena caught his eye- it was
a mooshroom. Which wasn't odd, considering that they were
on a mushroom island, but Iskall could see that the
mushroom was named. He used his robotic eye to zoom in,
and found a name tag labeled "Pamela" flapping around
the mooshroom's neck. Wait… Iskall had heard of that name.
Was that Ren's lost mooshroom?

A great cheer sounded from both sides and Iskall turned to

see Ren and Jevin leap into the arena. The other hermits, the
ones on the platform, were using fishing rods to- to do what?
Distract the enemy? To pull their teammates to safety? As
Ren and Jevin circled each other, Ren started to mutter
something about justice, which Iskall assumed was just
typical Rendog role-playing. Iskall, still very confused about
the entire ordeal, decided to observe the reactions of the
hermits on the other side. Doc was standing there stoically,
but Iskall swore he saw a hint of a smug smirk on his face.
False was pumping her fists in the air, obviously rooting for
Ren. Meanwhile, Etho was eating a sandwich. 

As Ren and Jevin smacked each other with their

swords, Grian leaped towards them, trying to keep an eye on
them. Ren roared, “Referee, get out of the way!”

“Yeah, Grian, stop getting between us!” Jevin snarled. 

Grian held up his hands in surrender. “Guys, I’m just trying

to-”

“You know what, Iskall, you can be the referee,” Cub

commented casually. “Cream of the crop and all that.”

Before Iskall could even react, Impulse and xB shared

glances, and they immediately grabbed Iskall and threw him
into the arena.

Iskall let out a scream that Stress would be proud of. 

Instantly, Iskall was enveloped with the scent of sweat and

wood. His legs wobbled when he crash-landed into the
arena. Ren, Jevin, and Grian all stared at him, completely
frozen, the fight forgotten. 
The other hermits also became silent as they gaped at Iskall.
(Well, most of them. Etho was still eating his sandwich.) It
was absolutely jarring how one moment, Iskall’s ears were
hurting from all of the yelling, and the other moment, you
could hear a pin drop. It was ridiculous. 

“Well, Iskall did serve as the referee for the duel between

Doc Holliday and Ren the Kid,” Doc remarked. “He’s a much
better referee than Grian.”

Grian placed a hand on his heart, mock-hurt. “Excuse me,

Doc!”

“Well, it’s official. Iskall is the new referee. He’s on the

neutral party, and he’s not as annoying as Grian,” Cub stated
with impressive calmness.

A chorus of “yeah”s and “you’re right”s sounded

instantaneously as almost all of the hermits agreed on the
new referee. Even Jevin and Ren shared polite nods of
agreement.

“Why- why are you guys like this?” Grian asked as he looked

around incredulously. “Here I am, in my referee suit, helping
to maintain order in this arena, and you guys kick me out?
Seriously?”

There was a pause. “Well, I suppose there can be two

referees,” False suggested.

“Yeah!” Impulse agreed quickly. He glanced at Ren and Jevin.

“Anyone got a problem with that?”

Iskall started to speak. “Well, I have a problem with-”

“You better get ready for the Triple-R, son,” Ren drawled in a
deep voice, already back into character.

“Ohh, you’re not getting Pamela back easily,” Jevin chuckled,

similarly back in character. 

Grian nudged a very confused Iskall. “You need to restart the

match,” he whispered.

Iskall sighed. He knew he couldn’t get out of this situation, so

he decided to go along with whatever the heck was
happening. “How do I restart this?”

“Well, you need to say ‘get ready to rumble’.”

“Oh, okay.” Iskall rubbed his hands together. That seemed

simple enough. “Uh, umm, get ready to rumble?”
A beat. Then-

“That was so underwhelming compared to Grian’s feral roal,”

Impulse called from above. Iskall could hear the other
hermits mutter in agreement, but before he could dwell on
it, Ren pounced towards Jevin, sword in his outstretched
arm. 

“FOR PAMELA!” Ren unleashed a battle cry. 

Everything else was a blur afterwards. Iskall remembered

everyone was screaming, he occasionally got hit by fishing
rods, and people kept on saying “oh yeah” (Cub kept on
saying “cream of the crop”). Iskall had no idea what he was
doing, so he just hid behind Grian most of the time (but even
with that, everyone assured him he was doing a much better
job than Grian did). In the end, Ren managed to kill Impulse
and Jevin with two blows, resulting in a win for him. With his
side being victorious, a joyous Ren managed to rescue
his mooshroom Pamela. Apparently Pamela’s kidnapping
(or cownapping) was why Ren decided to challenge Jevin to a
wrestling match. 

Before Iskall knew it, everyone was throwing out “GG”s and

slapping each other on the back. Cub passed out cups of
cream, and Etho finally finished eating his sandwich. Just as
quickly as it began, it ended. Ren thanked everyone for
joining and promptly left the scene with Pamela. Everyone
else was quick to go, and soon, only Iskall remained at the
arena.

Iskall was feeling very… discombobulated (see, he learnt

words from Mumbo!). He had no idea what had just
happened, plus everything happened so quickly, his brain
could hardly catch up. Somehow, everyone declared him as
the MVP of the match and gave him the player heads that
they had obtained. Iskall knew the logical thing to do was to
submit them for the Head Game, but Iskall was too
exhausted to even consider that. 

Iskall dragged his feet to his starter base, and began to put

the player heads in a chest. As he went through his storage
system, memories started to flood back to him. He had come
to the shopping district in search of something… something
from the Nether…

Iskall jolted up.

Even after everything that had happened, every crazy thing

he’d seen, after every “oh yeah” that he’d heard-

He still didn’t have his Nether warts.