Wizards of the Toast A

Contents
Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1
Background . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1
Summary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2
Summary .
Adventure Hooks .
Hooks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2
Fairy Berry .
Berry . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2
The Oven .
Oven . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3
Tracking . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3
Tracking .
Unique Flora & Fauna . Fauna . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3
Know Thy Enemy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4
Clue 1: Soggy Bottom .
Bottom . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4
Clue 2: Toasted Buns .
Buns . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
Clue 3: Sleazy Legalese .
Legalese . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6
The Battle Ahead .
Ahead . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7
The Breadsmithy .
Breadsmithy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7
Wave 1: Crumbs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9
Wave 2: Rising Bread .
Bread . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10
Wave 3: Corporation Unleashed . Unleashed . . . . . . 11
Optional Ending:
Pa’izo the Great . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12
Aftermath . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12
Treasure . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13
Treasure
Harvesting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13
Harvesting .
Crafting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13
Crafting
Appendix A - Magic Items .
Items . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14
Buzzkill . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Buzzkill . 14
Emberink Stationery . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14
Heart of Stone .
Stone . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15
Wafer Shield . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16
Appendix B - Spells .
Spells . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17
Breadskin . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Breadskin . 17
Enrage . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Enrage 17
Hasbrodeus’ Binding Lawsuit . Lawsuit . . . . . . . . . 17
Objection . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Objection 17
Paperwork . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Paperwork 18
Summon Crumbs .
Crumbs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18
Water Cannon . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18
Water Whip .
Whip . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18
Appendix C - Creatures .
Creatures . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19
Bread golems .
golems . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19
Bread Dragons .
Dragons . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22
Corporate Devils .
Devils . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27
Legal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32

Design: Max Wartelle

Writing: Max Wartelle
Additional Writing: João Araújo, Tony Casper
Editing: Phylea, Max Wartelle
Formatting: Sally Kay Clark, Max Wartelle
Proofing: Jessic Gombart, Kevin “Smood” McDonnell,
Piotr “Narb” Wiśnios
Art Direction: Mohammed “Aggi” Bellafquih
Layout: Max Wartelle
Ognjen Sporin

Cover Illustrator: Chaouki “Ciao” Titouhi

Interior Illustrators: Mohammed “Aggi” Bellafquih, Jesse
Jackdaw Burns, Michelle Mueller, Ognjen Sporin
Cartographers: Cze & Peku
Introduction
Wizards of the Toast is a satirical (but entirely deadly)
5th edition hunt for four characters with an average
party level of 3, 7, or 12. Characters who complete
this hunt should earn enough experience to progress
one-half, one-third, and one-half of the way to 4th,
7th, and 13th level, respectively. Adventurers must in-
vestigate a corporate entity of draconic greed and end
its tyrannical claim to the world’s favourite food: toast.
The right to make toast has been revoked. Bakers’
lives are being ruined. The Wizards of the Toast and
their evil, corporate overlord, Hasbrodeus, have re-
neged on a decades-old promise to not revoke the very
license that made toast so fantastic. Wrongly believing
the success of toast is theirs alone, WotT aim to force
the draconian requirements of their new license on
bakers the world over using tricky legal documenta-
tion and bread-based golems. The ability to produce
water will be very useful in helping make bread soggy
in this adventure.
This adventure is written in British English (we
‘prove’ bread rather than ‘proof’ it), uses unique for-
matting to highlight things like conditions and saving
throws, and uses a revamped statblock.
Background
Two decades ago, toast took the world by storm.
A clandestine group known only as ‘Wizards of the
Toast’ (WotT) had perfected the art of heating and
drying bread at the ideal rate to elicit prime golden
crispiness. In a fit of mercantile prowess, their leader,
Sir Rye’on d’Ancey shared their secrets with bakers
everywhere, enshrining their copyrighted techniques
in the Open Baking License 1.0(a) (OBL 1.0a). This
license conferred a perpetual, worldwide, royalty-free,
non-exclusive license allowing any baker, forever-
more, to toast all manner of breads, and assured that
WotT’s cookbook, the Toaster’s Handbook, would
never stray from the bestseller shelf.
So began the golden age of toast. Paninis were
pressed, crôque monsieurs cooked, and the market
price of avocado soared as it was mashed onto sliced
wholemeal toast by youngsters everywhere. Kobolds
invented a printing press and published many tomes
guiding other bakers in their crafts. Pathfinders toast-
ed lambas bread to add flavour to their forays into un-
travelled lands. Even Heliana herself tried her hand at
magical toast, after defeating a loaf* of bread golems.
*The collective noun for bread golems is a ‘loaf’.
One fateful day some six years after releasing
the 5th edition of the Toaster’s Handbook—which,
thanks to the thriving third-party baker communi-
ty, went multi-platinum—the Wizards of the Toast
found themselves under the sway of a member of the
pastryarchy, a lawful evil entity known only as Has-
brodeus. He appointed Pumpernax the Wrye, a bread
dragon with a painfully stale sense of humour, as the
new CEO of Wizards of the Toast.
Blind to the success that third-party bakers had
brought to the wizards, Pumpernax commanded that
WotT renege on their promise and deauthorise OBL
1.0(a). In a move many claimed to be illegal and fall
foul of anti-trust laws, Pumpernax struck down the
license and replaced it with a draconian revision:
OBL 1.1. No more would unique toasting recipes be
protected, nor toast-making be royalty-free.
Every baker had to report their toast recipes to
WotT, who could copy them without accreditation or
remuneration. In retaliation for the mere act of speak-
ing out against the license (or writing satirical stories
about WotT themselves), a baker could have their
right to make toast revoked. All bakers had to report
their toast-based income, and pay WotT a royalty of
twenty-five percent of any earnings over 750 gp (or
twenty percent if sold in WotT’s preferred retailer,
Kickbacker). Worst of all, WotT could change any
aspect of this license they wished, for any reason, at
any time.
How could any business hope to grow and thrive in
such a draconian corporate landscape!?
In rebellion, the third-party bakers banded to-
gether and wrote a strongly worded letter, inciting
mighty warriors and lovers of toast alike to rise up
against this tyranny. Writers sent irate messengers via
tweeting bluebirds; druids transmitted impassioned
and well-edited speeches using the tree-based com-
munication, yew-tube; and bakers everywhere sought
to create their own baking license. But this was not
enough, and soon bread golems were knocking down
doors and dragging off bakers that could not pay the
inconceivable twenty-five percent tax.
Pumpernax has made her lair in a barren area of the
Lotof’s End Desert known as The Oven. Both she and
her lair, the Breadsmithy, must be destroyed to bring
peace, order, and toast to the realms once more.
Wizards of the Toast 1
 Summary Hunt Rewards per Player Character
Here’s a quick summary of the vital information about this hunt:
Hunt Level Gold XP*
• Which Monster? The bread dragon, Chief Executive Of-
3rd 375 gp 900
ficer of Wizards of the Toast, Pumpernax the Wrye.
7th 1,400 gp 3,400
• Monster’s Motivation. To establish a toast-based monopo-
ly. 12th 4,250 gp 11,000
• Monster’s Previous Actions. Fraudulent claims of perpetual
*Includes all monsters, traps, and puzzles, averaged for a
open licenses, revoking said licenses, and bullying bakers party of four.
with bread golems and SLAPP* lawsuits.
• Where’s the Monster? Within her factory—the Bread-
smithy—situated in The Oven, a baked expanse of desert.
*Strategic Lawsuits Against Public Participation. These damaging suits inhibit free Fairy Berry
speech and healthy debate by targeting those who speak out on issues of public interest.
SLAPPs silence and harass critics by forcing them to spend money to defend these base-
Fey, bakers’ rights activist, she/her
less suits; their filers don’t go to court to seek justice. Rather, SLAPPs intimidate those
who disagree with them or their activities by draining the target’s financial resources. Personality. Kind and grandmotherly, but very
stern when someone is rude.

Adventure Hooks Appearance. An animate ice cream sandwich that

wears an overly large witch’s hat.
Below are a few examples of ways to get your characters
hooked onto this hunt and ready to face the Toastpocalypse. Desire. To bring the delights of license-free bak-
• Curiosity: Bread-Based Warfare. Golems made of bread? ing to every corner of the world.
Preposterous! Tales of yeast-powered, delicious-smelling, Fear. That her digital arthritis will prevent her
hard-shelled creatures with the strength of ten mortals sure- from kneading bread.
ly require investigating. Humperdink of the Loot Tavern*
is enthused with what this could mean for the future of his “I hate corporations. They truly are the soggy bottom of
two favourite hobbies: biomancy and breadmaking. He society!”
needs samples!
• Morality: Corporate Bullies. No one likes being trodden
upon by wealthy giants, least of all gnomes who’ve had it
“up to here” with sizeism. Theft of intellectual property,
enforced reporting of creations and income, royalties on
earnings, termination of the license for any reason, and a
lopsided changeable contract—Heliana* won’t stand for it.
She begs adventurers to end this corporate greed.
• Compensation: A Pot of Altruistic Gold. Fairy Berry has
had enough. Baking should be free to all, with no restric-
tions. The baking community is what made toast great
and, by the gods, she will not see the community
fractured by the greed of Pumpernax. She offers
gold aplenty to any that can bring her the head
of this corporate enemy, or finish them in court.
Whatever’s easier.
*Not playing in the Loot Tavern? No problem!
Replace this with another educated, baking-oriented patron.

Fairy Berry
An aged and altruistic fey named Fairy Berry promised an
enormous pot of gold to any that would bring her its head.
Whichever hunt hook the party follows, the contact always
directs them to Fairy Berry, who has researched the Wizards’
unfair legal practices and is spearheading the counterattack.

2
 The Oven
Within the Lotof’s End Desert is a vast flat expanse;
a long-desiccated lake bed known as The Oven.
Hemmed in on all sides by moisture-defying moun-
tains, the ground’s cracked skin is decorated only
by the sun-bleached bones of foolhardy travellers. It
is within this inhospitable kiln that Hasbrodeus has
located the lair-factory of its CEO: The Breadsmithy.
The dry heat is perfect for baking bread golems, and
the freezing nights ensure an impenetrable finish to
the crust.
Saltworms. These annelids live most of their lives
near underground aquifers, hundreds of feet below
The Oven’s parched surface. Prior to mating, they
break this dry crust at dawn and dusk, seeking to suck
the salt off of passing, sweaty creatures. In his instruc-
tional manual, Mud, Sweat, and Beers, Bear Frylls
notes that the best way to distract a ravenous salt-
worm is to pee on the ground and then flee quickly.
The saltworm will be attracted to the minerals in the
pee, giving you a head start on your escape.

Tracking
Finding The Breadsmithy is difficult and dangerous.
The Oven is infamous for creating distracting mirages
that draw the unwary off navigable paths, leading to
slow deaths through dehydration. After leaving the
village of Suala, a party requires two successes and
three checks to find the Breadsmithy, with each check
taking 8 hours.
Dehydration. When travelling through The Oven,
a creature needs three times as much water as usu-
al when travelling during the day, and two times as
much when travelling at night.

Unique Flora & Fauna

Very little lives in The Oven. The scalding days and
freezing nights permit only the hardiest of organisms,
such as the endemic mirageweed and saltworms, to
exist. Paper imps are the most recent addition, caused
by the presence of the lair of the fiend Hasbrodeus.
Mirageweed. This translucent, shimmering plant
preys upon unwary travellers by altering its pigmen-
tation to appear like oases, small children, or distant
inns. Unfortunate observers may take these visuals at
face value and leave their set route to investigate, usu-
ally resulting in desiccation, death, and a nutrient-rich
feed for the weed.
Paper Imps. Where Legalese is widely spoken,
paper imps can often be found. Formed of tightly
coiled rolls of parchment, these creatures offer incred-
ibly one-sided contracts to creatures in dire need.
Fortunately, they’re not very smart, and a creature
Opposite: Mohammed “Aggi” Bellafquih

with even a rudimentary understanding of Legalese

can often find loopholes (or, more often, typos) in the
contract, absolving them of any liability and retaining
their soul.

Wizards of the Toast 3

 Know Thy Enemy
On approaching The Oven, the party passes through
Suala, a small village on the Olong River famed for its
fish toasties. The villagers successfully passed a bylaw
temporarily limiting the jurisdiction of the Wizards
of the Toast, after which they attacked nearby bread
golems in an act of legal self-defence. Looking over
what’s left of the golems can reveal clues that will be
helpful in the fight to come. The following informa-
tion can be garnered from these encounters:
• Bread golems are weak to water; it makes them
soggy.
• Fire and radiant damage make bread golems more
dangerous.
• Hasbrodeus uses Legalese—a rare and powerful
language—to tie creatures into semantic knots.
As the party approaches Suala, you can read aloud
the following:
Children’s laughter can be heard on the breeze,
which carries the cloying scent of burning bread.
Nearing the village, a sign reads “Welcome to
Suala. Pursuant to Bylaw 12.3.1, Hasbrodeus’
anticompetition licenses are no longer in effect
within village limits. Toast away!”
4
Clue 1: Soggy Bottom
Bread golems are very tough, especially when crafted
using raw peas. However, a small amount of water
leads to the dreaded ‘soggy bottom’ and slows them,
making them much easier to hurt.
Local children can show the party the remains of
a bread golem on the river bank. Its head and torso
are submerged in the water and have almost turned
entirely into mush, much to the delight of the ducks
that feed on it. The portion above the water is still
hard and dry.
Using the Clue
Any spell or effect that creates water (like the create
or destroy water spell) or uses water as a weapon (see
water cannon and water whip, Appendix B) can trigger
the bread golems’ Soggy Bottom trait. Alternatively,
a creature can use an action to make a Strength (Ath-
letics) or Dexterity (Acrobatics) check contested
by the creature’s Strength (Athletics) or Dexterity
(Acrobatics) check to upend a container of water it is
holding onto a creature within 5 feet of it. If the crea-
ture with the canteen wins the contest, the golem’s
Soggy Bottom trait is activated.
Clue 1. Soggy Bottom
Jesse Jackdaw Burns
 Clue 2: Toasted Buns
When the bread golems attacked, Rifika, the village
priest, tried to fight off the golems with his radiant
blade and fire magic. However, this only made the
golems hardier and more lethal. A wounded Rifika
sits next to the corpse of a blackened bread golem.
Inspecting the golem reveals that it has grown some
jagged, charcoal spikes where it was burnt.

Using the Clue

Talking with Rifika or a successful VDC Intelligence
(Arcana, Investigation, or Nature) check reveals that
these changes occurred after he slashed them with
his radiant sword and used fire magic on them. He
recommends avoiding these damage types.

Clue 2. Toasted Buns

Jesse Jackdaw Burns

Wizards of the Toast 5

 Clue 3: Sleazy
Legalese
Knowing the language of the law—Le-
galese—is essential for escaping the mire
of word trickery that WotT and Has-
brodeus employ in their licenses. Crea-
tures that can understand Legalese have
advantage on some of the saving throws
forced by Hasbrodeus’ actions and
ambient actions. Furthermore, a clever
character can try to incapacitate bread
golems (dough golems, breadnoughts,
and chargoyles) by speaking in Legalese.
Rifika explains that it was only after
casting the tongues spell on himself was
he fully able to understand the golems
and quickly pass a bylaw to outsmart
them.

Using the Clue

Learning Legalese. Spells or magic items
that allow a creature to understand other
languages (like comprehend languages or
tongues) can be advantageous against
Hasbrodeus. A merchant in Suala has
1d4 scrolls each of comprehend languages
and tongues available for sale.
Linguist. In addition, the merchant
sells a book, Legalese for Dummies by
Noah Lott, for 20 gp. A creature that
spends 8 hours reading the book within
a 24 hour period and succeeds on a DC
15 Intelligence check can speak and
understand Legalese for 24 hours. A
creature that succeeds on this check 30
or more times within a year learns the
language permanently.
Confusing the Golems. A creature that
can speak Legalese can use an action to
talk to a bread golem, making an Intel-
ligence check contested by the bread go-
lem’s Intelligence check. On a success,
the bread golem is incapacitated for 1d4
rounds.
Jesse Jackdaw Burns

Clue 3. Sleazy Legalese

6
The Battle Ahead
The Breadsmithy is visible from a great distance away,
affording a party ample opportunity to rest and prepare
for the battle ahead. The battle against the inhabitants
of The Breadsmithy is divided into three consecutive
phases called waves. When the party is close enough
to see the factory, you can read aloud the following:
Cracked and parched hexagons cover the
ground in all directions, like the scales of an
impossibly large white dragon. A plume of rapidly
evaporating steam breaks the horizon, emanating
from a rectangular building visible only as a speck
at this distance. The faintest sounds of churning
machinery and roaring beasts echo through the
still, sweltering air, which seems to drain the
moisture from your tongue with each breath.
If the party approaches at night, read aloud the
following instead:
The glowing lights of a distant building pick out
the ridges of the cracked and warped plates of
the dried white clay beneath you. Despite being
but a distant speck on the horizon, the bustle
of activity is evident as workers pass in front of
the windows, causing the lights within to flicker.
The faintest sounds of churning machinery and
roaring beasts echo through the still, freezing
air, which seems to drain the moisture from your
tongue with each breath.
Helping Hand. At any point during the battle, Fairy
Berry can help the party by zipping by and sprinkling
magic dust on them, granting creatures of her choice a
flying speed of 60 feet for 1 minute.
The Breadsmithy
Like a zit on alabaster skin, this red-brick building
rises up a good three stories and is the hub of bread
golem production for Wizards of the Toast. Due to the
mostly indestructible nature of the Breadsmithy’s ed-
ifice, the only entrance into the factory is the ground
floor door to the east. It is shut, but not locked.
Within the factory are a huge furnace (near the
east) and a large contraption that produces steam
(mid-west) to keep the humidity high enough to prove
the bread. The factory has three floors, though the
combat herein occurs only on the lower two floors.
General Features
These general features are prominent throughout all
areas of the Breadsmithy unless otherwise noted in an
area’s description.
Ceilings, Floors, Walls, & Windows. There are three
stories, and each floor is approximately 12 feet high.
The ceilings, floors, walls, and windows are magically
reinforced (and well insured); a 5-foot section is only
destroyed if it takes 100 damage in a single instance.
Doors. The factory’s doors are built of black, car-
bonised bread. Locked doors can be opened with a
successful DC 15 Dexterity (thieves’ tools) check or
forced open with a successful DC 15 Strength (Ath-
letics) check. Each door has AC 15, 18 hit points, and
immunity to poison and psychic damage. Pouring at
least 1 gallon of water on a door reduces its AC by 5.
Lights. The main furnace sheds bright light in a
30-foot radius and dim light for an additional 30 feet.
There are no other lights, although large windows
allow plenty of illumination during the day.
Barrels & Crates. The barrels on Map 1. The
Breadsmithy (page 8) contain 120 gallons of water
each. The various crates contain flour, salt, and dried
yeast.
Hazard: Airborne Flour. If a crate is damaged,
roll a d6. On a 1-4, a plume of flour with a 10-foot
radius centred on the crate lasts until initiative count
20 of the next round (winning ties). If the damage that
triggered the release of the flour was fire damage, or
an open flame is in or moves into the affected area, the
area immediately explodes. Each creature in the area
must make a VDC Dexterity saving throw, taking
Vdam fire damage on a failure, or half as much dam-
age on a success.
Hazard: Furnace. A creature that enters the fur-
nace for the first time on a turn or starts its turn there
takes 3 x Vdam fire damage.
Wizards of the Toast 7
 Map 1. Breadsmithy Ground Floor

Cze and Peku; Opposite: Ognjen Sporin

Map 2. Breadsmithy Second Floor

1 square = 5 feet Cartographer: Cze & Peku

8
Wave 1: Crumbs
Entering onto the ground floor, the party encounters
the workers of the factory—bread golems. They are
each busy making dough from the ingredients in the
crates and barrels, sculpting the dough into golems, or
baking those golems in the huge furnace. If no attempt
at stealth is made, the golems attack immediately. You
can read aloud or paraphrase the following when the
party enter the factory:
The crackle of burning coals, the scent of hot
metal, and the thick humid air hits you like a
wall. Picked out by the red light of an enormous
furnace, hulking figures sculpt dough into large,
humanoid forms, drawing fresh ingredients from
the crates and barrels that crowd the room. As
you watch, two of these figures slide another
into the sweltering furnace, releasing the hearty
scent of baking bread as the door swings open.
Mechanical apparatuses line the red brick walls,
and two metal staircases lead to the floor above.
A successful DC 10 Intelligence (History or
cook’s utensils) check recalls that air must be humid
for bread to prove, and so there must be water sources
within the factory.
Enemies
The enemies in this wave are the factory’s workers.
Level 3. At 3rd level, the wave 1 combatants are:
• 2 dough golems* (CR 1)
• 4 swarms of crumblings* (CR ¼)
Level 7. At 7th level, the wave 1 combatants are:
• 3 breadnoughts* (CR 3)
• 3 dough golems* (CR 1)
Level 12. At 12th level, the wave 1 combatants are:
• 3 chargoyles* (CR 6)
• 3 breadnoughts* (CR 3)
*See Appendix C
Tactics
The constructs swarm the players with little tactical
awareness other than to use their high strength to
grapple creatures and put them into the furnace. They
attack without any sense of self preservation.
End of Wave
When the last construct is defeated, wave 1 ends.
Wave 2 begins at the start of the next round.
 Wave 2: Rising Bread
This wave sees Pumpernax wake from her slumber
atop the furnace and attack the party. Pumpernax can
be described as “A golden-brown dragon-like creature
adorned with conical horns, wings of sliced bread,
and a carbonised club at the end of its tail.” Once the
second wave begins, read aloud the following:
Following a roar like a ravenous lion tearing into
a stale baguette, a muffled, crusty voice calls out,
“Ah. Bakers seeking to prove themselves, is it?
Thinking they can rise to the occasion and become
the toast of the town?” The whole factory shakes
as a quadrupedal creature with a long tail made of
dangerously stale-looking croissants lands on the
second floor’s walkway. “Well, I ryegret to inform
you that your plan is half-baked!” the creature
bellows, as the piping throughout the building
rattles and fires out jets of steam.
Enemies
The enemies in this wave are Pumpernax the bread
dragon and, at higher levels, a bread construct.
Level 3. At 3rd level, the wave 2 combatant is:
• 1 young bread dragon* (CR 4)
Level 7. At 7th level, the wave 2 combatants are:
• 1 adult bread dragon* (CR 9)
• 1 dough golem* (CR 1)
Level 12. At 12th level, the wave 2 combatants are:
• 1 ancient bread dragon* (CR 16)
• 1 chargoyle* (CR 6)
*See Appendix C
10
Tactics
Pumpernax descends to the second floor to attack the
party through the stairwell. If there is a golem in the
wave, it is operating the machinery to the south of the
second floor.
Pumpernax. Pumpernax initially positions herself
in one corner of the stairwell, such that she can target
enemies with her Breadth Weapons as they come up
the stairs to the second floor. She has total cover from
creatures directly below her as well as from those in
adjacent quadrants on the floor below. She has half
cover from creatures in the opposite quadrant on the
floor below. She can lean her head over the railing
to target creatures with her Breadth Weapons in any
quadrant other than the one directly below her.
Golem. As an action on the golem’s turn, it can
operate the machinery to cause a spray of steam or a
piston (GM’s choice) to fire towards one adventurer.
The character must make a VDC Dexterity saving
throw, taking Vdam fire or bludgeoning damage
Ognjen Sporin; Opposite: Ognjen Sporin
(GM’s choice) on a failure, or half as much damage on
a success.
End of Wave
When Pumpernax is defeated, wave 2 ends, Has-
brodeus teleports into the office to the west of the
second floor, and wave 3 immediately begins.
Wave 3: Corporation Unleashed
Hasbrodeus (and any corporate goons mentioned)
has teleported to the office in the second floor of the
Breadsmithy and emerges with all (metaphorical) guns
blazing. Hasbrodeus can be described as “a lifeless,
corporate suit; a humanoid lump of mould and bread
wearing a ragged pinstripe three piece.” Once the
third wave begins, read aloud the following:
“Cease. And. Desist!” commands a faceless voice
from the west. “You are infringing on WotT copy-
ri- excuse me. Trespassing on WotT property. You
will sign an NDA, hand over 25% of all gold pieces
above 750, and submit all your toast recipes for
processing. Or… you will die… of old age after I
file several sequential injunctions.”
Enemies
In the final wave, the enemy is Hasbrodeus and, at
higher levels, one or two corporate goons.
Level 3. At 3rd level, the wave 3 combatant is:
• 1 Hasbrodeus (Count of Capitalism*, CR 5;
Mythic CR 5)
Level 7. At 7th level, the wave 3 combatants are:
• 1 Hasbrodeus (Marquis of Misery* CR 9; Myth-
ic CR 9)
• 1 breadnought* (CR 3)
Level 12. At 12th level, the wave 3 combatants are:
• 1 Hasbrodeus (Duke of Disinformation*, CR 13;
Mythic CR 13)
• 2 chargoyles* (CR 6)
*See Appendix C
Tactics
Hasbrodeus is extremely good at identifying the
strengths and weaknesses of potential enemies; for the
purposes of tactics, it knows the saving throw mod-
ifiers of all the creatures. It targets low-intelligence
martial enemies with its SLAPP action and uses its
Revoke Contract legendary action against threatening
melee combatants, teleporting them high up so they
fall through to the ground floor. It uses its reaction
as often as possible to prevent especially threatening
actions and counterspells. Hasbrodeus can use the lair
actions of Pumpernax. It isn’t very wise and doesn’t
know when to back down, attempting to flee only
when reduced to one-tenth of its hit points or fewer.
End of Wave
The wave ends when Hasbrodeus is defeated. You can
read aloud the following:
In sputtering breaths, Hasbrodeus declares “I
thought I was fair. Lawful. I was voted Most
Just Corporation, putting its… stakeholders…
first…” and evaporates into particles of greed,
self-interest, and thinly veiled hatred for its
customers.
 Optional Ending: Aftermath
Pa’izo the Great Here are some additional developments that can occur
If you run this as a one-shot hunt, you may wish to after this hunt:
create an overly dramatic event when Hasbrodeus is • Humperdink invents a new product: the self-port-
finally defeated. In this case, you can have the great able sandwich. He biomances miniaturised bread
sand wyrm, Pa’izo, be drawn to the ruckus the fight- golems that follow their owner around, asking to
ing has made and devour the factory. You can read the be eaten.
following: • Wizards of the Toast become a co-operative,
owned by their diligent, creative, and entirely-
After a brief silence, a low hum fills the air, not-to-blame employees, who agree to a truly
emanating from every direction. It grows into a open baking license. They are welcomed back
crescendo of shaking, brick dust showering down into bakeries across the world with open arms and
the toast-based collaborations are spectacular.
from above. With a sudden last gasp, Hasbrodeus
• With her final mission complete, Fairy Berry joins
reforms from thin air, and exclaims “Pa’izo! It
a band of roving bards, judging baking contests
will consume us and become stronger. What that bring wholesome delight to all.
have I dooooone?” There’s a thunderous crack as • Pa’izo loves the taste of bread, and creates a new
the roof’s main beam gives way; the building is license with the help of the half-orc, Heliana, giv-
collapsing! ing royalty-free, perpetual, and irrevocable access
to toast recipes for all.
There are three rounds of environmental effects.
The effect takes place on initiative count 20 of each
round (losing ties).
Round 1: Tremors. The ground shakes, tools
fall off shelves, and cracks appear in walls and win-
dows. Each creature on the floor must make a VDC
Strength saving throw or be knocked prone.
Round 2: Malfunction. The furnace and the steam
apparatuses (the two big mechanical devices on the
ground floor) explode. Each creature within 20 feet
of them must make a VDC Dexterity saving throw,
taking Vdam fire damage on a failure or half as much
on a success.
Round 3: Collapse. Debris begins to fall from
above, all the windows shatter, and the floor cracks
and warps. Each creature in the building must make
a VDC Dexterity saving throw, taking Vdam
bludgeoning damage on a failure or half as much on a
success. The floor becomes difficult terrain.
At the end of the third round after this ending be-
gins, the factory is devoured, and each creature within
it takes 20d6 bludgeoning damage and is swallowed
by Pa’izo.

12
Treasure Harvesting
In the second floor office, is a treasure chest marked The following unique components can be harvested
“For use in case of strike action—buy off the ringleaders”. from a bread dragon, in addition to those normal for a
Attached to the underside of the desk is a long pack- construct.
age wrapped in sticky cloth. A note attached to the
package reads “In case of riots: use this and flee”. This Bread Dragon Unique Harvest Table
contains buzzkill, a magical sword (see Appendix A).
Component DC Component
The rarity of this item increases with the hunt’s level.
15 Bread dragon crust (3)
Breadsmithy Treasure Chest
The following unique components can be harvested
Hunt Level Coins Gems Buzzkill from Hasbrodeus and other corporate devils, in addi-
3rd 1d6 x 50 gp 1d4 x 25 gp Uncommon tion to those normal for a fiend.
7th 2d6 x 10 gp 1d4 x 100 gp Rare
Hasbrodeus Unique Harvest Table
12th 3d6 x 200 gp 1d4 x 500 gp Very rare
Component DC Component
The corpse of the bread dragon and Hasbrodeus can 15 Calcified corporate heart (1)
be harvested for components that can be crafted into
20 Phial of corporate cerebral fluid (5)
unique items. Use the rules in Heliana’s Guide to Mon-
ster Hunting for Harvesting and Crafting.

Crafting
The following items can be crafted from the components harvested from the bread dragon and Hasbrodeus.

Craftable Items

Item Item Type Rarity Attunement Components Essence Value (gp)*

Emberink Rare Phial of corporate cerebral Robust 2,500
Wondrous item Required
Stationery Very rare fluid Potent 10,000
Uncommon Frail 520
Heart of Stone Wondrous item Rare Required Calcified corporate heart Robust 2,200
Very rare Potent 8,000

Wafer Shield Wondrous item Rare Required Bread dragon crust Robust 3,000

*This is the ‘off-the-shelf’ purchase cost and can vary significantly from the crafting cost.

Wizards of the Toast 13

 Appendix A - Magic Items
Buzzkill
Weapon (any sword), rare (requires attunement)
Component: beast (swarm of bees) eggs
The waxen tunnels of this sword’s hilt are home to a
swarm of industrious bees, which toil away relentlessly
to produce sweet, magical honey. The sword vibrates
with the indignant buzz of these loyal insects whenev-
er it’s held by one not attuned to it.
This sword has 4 charges and regains all expended
charges daily at dawn. Whenever you make an attack
roll with this weapon without being attuned to it, you
take 1d4 piercing damage as bees sting you.
Honey Coating. As an action while holding this
sword, you can spend 1 charge to launch a spray of
sticky honey in a 20-foot cone. Each creature in the
area must succeed on a DC 15 Dexterity saving
throw or be covered in honey until the end of its next
turn, when the honey dissolves. A creature covered in
honey has disadvantage on attack rolls and Dexterity
saving throws, and its speed is halved.
Sugar Rush. While holding this sword, you can
spend 1 charge to cast the sugar rush spell. When you
cast the spell in this way, it has a range of touch, as
you feed some of the sword’s honey to the target.
Buzzkill
14
Uncommon variant: Reduce the charges to 2, and
the DC to 13.
Very rare variant: Increase the charges to 6, and
the DC to 16. The item has the Honeyed Words
property.
Honeyed Words. As an action, you can spend 1
charge and consume a portion of the honey, gain-
ing advantage on Persuasion checks for 1 hour.
Emberink Stationery
Wondrous item, very rare (requires attunement)
Component: phial of corporate cerebral fluid
Filtered from fiendish blood, this pot of fiery orange
ink melts most mundane quills that dare to dip into its
contents. Only its compatriot, the enchanted pitbat
quill which forms part of the stationery, can contain
the lava-like liquid. An emberink stationery is often
used as a training tool for new devils, promoting team-
work and the virtues of adhering to a contract.
Charges & Charging. An emberink stationery can
hold a maximum of 4 charges, contains 1d4 charges
when found, and regains charges when the ink pot is
used to capture a fiend’s blood. As fiends’ bodies disap-
pear from the Material Plane on death, fiendish blood
Michelle Mueller
 must be extracted while the fiend is still alive. You can
use an action to extract blood from a living fiend within
your reach. If the fiend is unwilling, the fiend must
be restrained or incapacitated and be below half of its
maximum hit points. When blood is extracted in this
way, the stationery regains a number of charges equal
to a roll of one of the fiend’s Hit Dice, and once it re-
gains charges, it can’t do so again until the next dawn.
Contractual Obligation. As an action, you can use
the stationery to write on the skin of a willing human-
oid. The ink burns into the flesh of your target, raking
a cauterised scar, while an identical burn appears
in a similar place on your own body. Both you and
the creature take 1 fire damage. Choose one of the
following glyphs and expend the appropriate number
of charges; for 1 hour, you are both subjected to the
associated magical effects.
• Ward (1 charge). While you and the creature are
within 30 feet of one another, you both have a +1
bonus to AC. While you are more than 30 feet
apart, you both suffer a -1 penalty to AC.
• Warp (2 charges). While you and the creature
are within 30 feet of one another, each affected
creature can choose whether it is enlarged or re-
duced, as per the enlarge/reduce spell. An affected
creature can use its action to return to normal size,
or to enlarge or reduce itself if it’s already normal
size. While you are more than 30 feet apart, both
creatures return to their normal size.
Emberink
Stationery
Mohammed “Aggi” Bellafquih
• Wrath (1 charge). While you and the creature
are within 30 feet of one another, you both gain a
+1 bonus to attack and damage rolls. While you
are more than 30 feet apart, you both suffer a -1
penalty to attack and damage rolls.
Once the stationery has been used to sign a glyph,
the ink turns dark and it can’t be used again until
the current contract is complete (i.e., the hour has
elapsed).
Rare variant: Reduce the maximum number of
charges to 2.
Heart of Stone
Wondrous item, rare (requires attunement)
Component: calcified fiend heart
When a fiend dies near this fist-sized lump of obsid-
ian, its soul is incarcerated within its inky confines.
A creature that attunes to this petrified devil’s heart
learns the name of any soul imprisoned within it and
can drain the soul’s lifeforce to create powerful magic.
However, with each interaction, there is always a
chance that the fiend can break free of this stony jail.
The heart can be used as a spellcasting focus for
your spells.
Heart of Stone
Wizards of the Toast 15
 Soultrap. When a fiend of CR 12 or lower dies Wafer Shield
within 10 feet of the heart and the heart doesn’t
Shield, rare (requires attunement)
already have a soul trapped within it, the fiend’s soul
Component: bread dragon crust
becomes trapped within the heart. The heart gains a
number of charges equal to the maximum number of Contrived as a means of quickly navigating the Grand
Hit Dice the fiend possessed. If all these charges are Bakery of Babaganoush, wafer shields, surfing on their
expended, the soul is shredded and destroyed. torrents of hot chocolate, have become an increasingly
common occurrence.
While you hold the stone, you can communicate
telepathically with the imprisoned soul, if it is willing. While attuned to this shield, you can doff it and
You can release an imprisoned soul back to the Lower mount it as a bonus action. Whilst mounted, you ig-
Planes as an action. nore nonmagical difficult terrain, can move across the
surface of liquids, and your movement speed becomes
Soulshred. While you hold the heart, you can ex-
40 feet. If you take damage while mounted, you must
pend charges from it to cast the following spells (save
succeed on a Dexterity saving throw or fall off the
DC 15): bane (1 charge), bestow curse (3 charges),
shield, landing prone. The DC for the saving throw
calm emotions (2 charges), enrage* (2 charges), re-
equals 10 or half the damage taken, whichever is
move curse (3 charges).
higher. You can dismount the shield and don it again
After you cast a spell in this way, you must make a as a bonus action.
Charisma check contested by the imprisoned fiend’s.
Once on each of your turns, if you move 20 feet in
On a failure, the fiend’s soul escapes and is released
a straight line, you can whip the shield in a cool move
back to the Lower Planes, and the heart loses all its
(no action required), splashing hot chocolate all over
remaining charges. If a soul escapes or is released
one creature within 5 feet of you. The creature must
while you’re on one of the Lower Planes, the fiend
make a Dexterity saving throw, taking 2d8 fire dam-
can immediately materialise with all of its hit points in
age on a failure, or half as much damage on a success.
an unoccupied space within 10 feet of the heart.
The DC for the saving throw equals 8 + your Dexter-
ity (Acrobatics) modifier.
Uncommon variant: Reduce the
fiend’s maximum CR to 6 and the
DC to 13. Remove bestow curse and
remove curse from the list of spells.
Very rare variant: Increase the
fiend’s maximum CR to 18 and the
DC to 16. Add the stoneskin spell (4
charges) to the list of spells. When
this spell is cast using this item, the
target’s skin resembles the obsidian of
the heart.
*See Appendix B

Wafer Shield
Mohammed “Aggi” Bellafquih

16
Appendix B - Spells
Breadskin
2nd-level biomancy* (*can be replaced with transmutation)
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M (some uncooked dough)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 hour
Class: Bard, Ranger, Sorcerer, Tamer, Wizard
You touch a willing creature, causing a layer of spongy
bread to grow from its skin, quickly forming a hard,
golden outer crust which lasts for the spell’s duration.
Until the spell ends, the target reduces each instance
of bludgeoning, piercing, or slashing damage it takes
from nonmagical attacks by 2. The spell ends early if
the target is ever submerged in water or has 5 or more
gallons of water poured on it.
At Higher Levels. When you cast this spell using a
spell slot of 3rd level or higher, the damage reduction
increases by 1 for each slot level above 2nd.
Enrage
3rd-level enchantment
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: 120 feet (20-foot-radius sphere)
Components: V, S, M (a red handkerchief)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute
Class: Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock
You attempt to create violent emotions in a group of
people. Each humanoid in a 20-foot-radius sphere
centred on a point you choose within range must make
a Charisma saving throw; a creature can choose to
fail this saving throw if it wishes. A creature that fails
this saving throw becomes enraged for the duration.
While enraged, a target becomes hostile towards all
creatures. An enraged creature that is concentrating
on a spell must succeed on a DC 10 Constitution
saving throw at the start of each of its turns or lose
concentration on the spell.
As an action, you can force an enraged creature
to use its reaction to make one melee weapon attack
against one randomly determined creature within the
enraged creature’s reach. If the enraged creature was
friendly towards the target of its attack before this
spell was cast, the enraged creature can repeat the
saving throw immediately after making the attack,
ending the effect on itself on a success.
An enraged creature can repeat the saving throw
whenever it takes damage, ending the effect on itself
on a success. When the spell ends, the creature re-
verts to its previous disposition again, unless the GM
rules otherwise.
At Higher Levels. When you cast this spell using
a spell slot of 4th level or higher and use an action to
force an enraged creature to make a melee weapon
attack, you can force one additional enraged creature
to make a melee weapon attack for each slot level
above 3rd.
Hasbrodeus’ Binding Lawsuit
3rd-level abjuration
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: 60 feet
Components: V, S, M (an ornate briefcase worth at
least 25 gp)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute
Class: Bard, Cleric, Paladin, Wizard
You gesture at a creature within range, causing ethe-
real red tape to attempt to bind the target. When you
cast the spell, and at the end of each of the creature’s
turns for the spell’s duration, the creature must make
an Intelligence saving throw or become restrained
by the red tape until the end of its next turn.
A creature that starts its turn restrained in this way
must succeed on a Charisma saving throw or be tele-
ported to a pocket dimension within your briefcase. A
creature in your briefcase can use its action to make an
Intelligence check, adding its proficiency bonus if it
can speak or understand the language of Legalese. On
a successful check, or if the spell ends while the target
is in the briefcase, the target reappears in the nearest
unoccupied space to the briefcase.
At Higher Levels. When you cast this spell using
a spell slot of 4th level or higher, you can target one
additional creature for each slot level above 3rd.
Objection
4th-level enchantment
Casting Time: 1 reaction, which you take when you
see a creature within the spell’s range taking an
action, bonus action, or reaction.
Range: 60 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: Instantaneous
Class: Bard, Paladin, Tamer, Wizard
“Objection!” you cry, gesturing at a creature within
range. That creature must succeed on a Wisdom
saving throw or be unable to take the action, bo-
nus action, or reaction it was going to take until the
Wizards of the Toast 17
 end of the current turn. For example, if the creature
was a monster taking the Multiattack or Cast a Spell
action on its turn and failed the saving throw, it would
have to take a different action that turn. Similarly, a
creature taking a legendary action that fails this saving
throw can’t take a legendary action on that turn. A
creature whose level or CR is 12 or higher automati-
cally succeeds on its saving throw.
At Higher Levels. When you cast this spell using
a spell slot of 5th level or higher, the CR or level at
which a creature automatically succeeds on this saving
throw increases by 4 for each slot level above 4th.
Paperwork
1st-level conjuration
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: 60 feet (5-foot-diameter sphere)
Components: V, S, M (a sheet of paper)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute
Class: Bard, Wizard
You call forth a flock of flying paperwork—mem-
os, letters, and paper planes—in a 5-foot-diameter
sphere within range. The paperwork can occupy the
space of another creature. A creature who starts its
turn in the paperwork’s space must make a Dexterity
saving throw, taking 1d8 slashing damage on a failed
save, or half as much damage on a success.
As a bonus action, you can move the sphere up to
30 feet to a space you can see.
At Higher Levels. When you cast this spell using a
spell slot of 2nd level or higher, the damage increases
by 1d8 for each slot level above 1st.
Summon Crumbs
Conjuration cantrip
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: 30 feet
Components: V, S, M (some stale bread)
Duration: 1 round
Class: Bard, Sorcerer, Tamer, Wizard
You conjure some irritating crumbs in an inconven-
ient location within the garb of a creature you can
see within range, such as inside their sock, down the
front of their shirt, or in their hair. The creature must
succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or be distracted
until the start of your next turn. While distracted, the
creature has disadvantage on Wisdom (Perception
and Insight) checks.
18
The number of creatures that you can simultane-
ously target with this spell increases by 1 when you
reach 5th level (2 creatures), 11th level (3 creatures),
and 17th level (4 creatures).
Water Cannon
2nd-level conjuration
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: Self (1-foot-wide, 50-foot-long line)
Components: V, S, M (a length of pipe)
Duration: Instantaneous
Class: Cleric, Paladin, Sorcerer, Warlock
You conjure 20 gallons of water which erupts forth
from you as a high-velocity jet, forming a line 50 feet
long and 1 foot wide. Each creature in the area must
make a Dexterity saving throw. On a failure, a crea-
ture takes 2d8 bludgeoning damage and, if the crea-
ture fails the saving throw by 5 or more, the creature is
knocked prone. On a success, a creature takes half as
much damage and isn’t knocked prone.
At Higher Levels. When you cast this spell using a
spell slot of 3rd level or higher, the damage increases
by 1d8 for each slot level above 2nd.
Water Whip
Transmutation cantrip
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: 60 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: Instantaneous
Class: Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
Choose a source of water that you can see within
range that has a volume of at least 4 pints. Make a
melee spell attack against a creature within 30 feet
of the source of water. On a hit, the target takes 1d6
slashing damage and, if the creature is Large or small-
er, you can force it to make a Strength saving throw,
pulling it up to 10 feet towards the source of water on
a failure.
The spell’s damage increases by 1d6 and the dis-
tance it can pull a target increases by 5 feet when you
reach 5th level (2d6 and 15 feet), 11th level (3d6 and
20 feet), and 17th level (4d6 and 25 feet).
Appendix C - Creatures
Bread golems
Iron is tricky to shape, clay is brittle, and flesh is...
Breadnought
Large construct, neutral
messy. As far as substrates from which to make a
golem, bread is surely the most ubiquitous and easy Armour Class 15 (natural armour)
to shape. Bread golems are loyal, strong creatures that Hit Points 75 (10d10 + 20)
follow their internal programming to a fault. Speed 30 ft.

Invention. As every self-respecting golemancer
knows, the instructions which give a golem purpose
must be written on the same substance as that which
is used to craft the golem itself. Tattooed skin for a
flesh golem, engraved metal for an iron golem, and
chiselled marble for a stone golem. The secret to
bread golems’ creation was the invention of toasting;
with this technology, written instructions could be
placed onto bread, allowing the easy creation of large
numbers of strong workers. The Wizards of the Toast
guard this secret litigiously, suing any that come near
they patented processes.
Bakomancy. Mix ingredients, knead dough, form
into desired shape, leave to prove in a humid environ-
ment, and then insert a magically infused bread-based
substance (typically flatbread) etched with toasted,
legally binding instructions into the dough golem’s
head. Blast it with a pulse of biomantic energy and
voilà! You have a functioning dough golem. For extra
longevity, be sure to fire the golem in a hot oven. This
ensures a thick, protective crust, a slight increase in
mobility, and a marginal gain in mental faculties.
Heat and Humidity. For such robust creatures,
bread golems are surprisingly susceptible to changes in
their environment. Water is their greatest enemy: too
little and they become stale, too much and all internal
structure becomes a soggy mush. Fire, on the other
hand, can char and blister their exterior, producing
dangerous and unsightly carbonised spikes.
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
17 (+3) 8 (-1) 14 (+2) 4 (-3) 6 (-2) 1 (-5)
Damage Immunities poison, psychic
Condition Immunities charmed, exhaustion, frightened,
paralyzed, petrified, poisoned
Senses blindsight 60 ft. (blind beyond this radius), passive
Perception 8
Languages Legalese
Challenge 3 (700 XP) Proficiency Bonus +2
Charrable. If the breadnought takes fire or radiant damage,
its attacks deal an additional 2 (1d4) slashing damage on a hit
until it finishes a long rest.
Immutable Form. The breadnought is immune to any spell or
effect that would alter its form.
Magic Resistance. The breadnought has advantage on saving
throws against spells and other magical effects.
Magic Weapons. The breadnought’s weapon attacks are
magical.
Soggy Bottom. If the breadnought comes into contact with 1
or more gallons of water in a single round, its speed is halved
and its AC is reduced by 5 until the end of its next turn, or until
it takes cold or fire damage.
Actions
Multiattack. The breadnought makes two melee attacks.
Slam. Melee Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit:
12 (2d8 + 3) bludgeoning damage.

Breadnoughts
Breadnoughts comprise the mainstay of WotT’s en-
forcement squads. Their thick crust provides defence
against angry bakers, and their increased mobility lets
them chase down fleeing royalty-avoiders.

Wizards of the Toast 19


Chargoyles
Flying bread golems infused with elemental fire,
chargoyles are the dangerous elite of the bread
golems. First crafted as an accident when a wizard
set their imp-powered alarm for 4 a.m. rather than 4
p.m., chargoyles are exceedingly difficult to make.
They must be baked at a high heat with low oxygen
which typically yields nothing but piles of black dust.
However, with a great enough suffusion of biomantic
magic and volatile motes of fire, an exceedingly light
golem capable of flight can be formed. This process is
extra dangerous, as the instructions the golem follows
can sometimes erode during the extreme baking, lead-
ing to rogue individuals with a burgeoning sentience.
20
Chargoyle
Large construct, neutral
Armour Class 17 (natural armour)
Hit Points 95 (10d10 + 40)
Speed 30 ft., fly 60 ft.
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
19 (+4) 14 (+2) 18 (+4) 6 (-2) 10 (+0) 3 (-4)
Damage Immunities fire, poison, psychic; bludgeoning,
piercing, and slashing from nonmagical attacks that aren’t
adamantine
Condition Immunities charmed, exhaustion, frightened,
paralyzed, petrified, poisoned
Senses blindsight 60 ft. (blind beyond this radius), passive
Perception 10
Languages Legalese
Challenge 5 (1,800 XP) Proficiency Bonus +3
Heated Body. A creature that touches the chargoyle or hits it
with a melee attack while within 5 feet of it takes 7 (2d6) fire
damage.
Heated Weapons. Any metal melee weapon the chargoyle
wields deals an extra 3 (1d6) fire damage on a hit (included in
the attack).
Immutable Form. The breadnought is immune to any spell or
effect that would alter its form.
Magic Resistance. The breadnought has advantage on saving
throws against spells and other magical effects.
Magic Weapons. The breadnought’s weapon attacks are
magical.
Soggy Bottom. If the breadnought comes into contact with 1
or more gallons of water in a single round, its speed is halved
and its AC is reduced by 5 until the end of its next turn, or until
it takes cold or fire damage.
Actions
Multiattack. The chargoyle makes three melee attacks: two
with its Fists and one with its Tail, or it makes two Hurl Flame
attacks.
Fist. Melee Weapon Attack: +7 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit:
11 (2d6 + 3) bludgeoning damage plus 3 (1d6) fire damage.
Tail. Melee Weapon Attack: +7 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit:
10 (1d10 + 4) bludgeoning damage plus 3 (1d6) fire damage.
Hurl Flame. Ranged Spell Attack: +7 to hit, range 60 ft., one
target. Hit: 11 (2d10) fire damage.
Dough Golems
Dough golems are unfired bread golems. Slower, less Swarm of Crumblings
well-armoured, and less intelligent than breadnoughts Medium swarm of Tiny constructs, neutral
or chargoyles, these creatures make for excellent
Armour Class 8
factory workers. In addition, the savings garnered by Hit Points 27 (5d8 + 5)
omitting the firing step more than make up for any Speed 25 ft.
decrease in speed.
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
12 (+1) 7 (-2) 12 (+1) 1 (-5) 3 (-4) 1 (-5)
Dough Golem Damage Immunities poison, psychic
Large construct, neutral Condition Immunities charmed, exhaustion, frightened,
paralyzed, petrified, poisoned
Armour Class 8 Senses blindsight 60 ft. (blind beyond this radius), passive
Hit Points 45 (6d10 + 12) Perception 6
Speed 25 ft. Languages understands Legalese but doesn’t speak
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA Challenge 1/2 (100 XP) Proficiency Bonus +2
16 (+3) 7 (-2) 14 (+2) 2 (-4) 4 (-3) 1 (-5) Charrable. If the swarm takes fire or radiant damage, its at-
tacks deal an additional 2 (1d4) slashing damage on a hit until
Damage Immunities poison, psychic
it finishes a long rest.
Condition Immunities charmed, exhaustion, frightened,
paralyzed, petrified, poisoned Immutable Form. The swarm is immune to any spell or effect
Senses blindsight 60 ft. (blind beyond this radius), passive that would alter its form.
Perception 7 Magic Resistance. The swarm has advantage on saving throws
Languages Legalese against spells and other magical effects.
Challenge 1 (200 XP) Proficiency Bonus +2 Magic Weapons. The swarm’s weapon attacks are magical.
Charrable. If the golem takes fire or radiant damage, its at- Soggy Bottom. If the swarm comes into contact with 1 or more
tacks deal an additional 2 (1d4) slashing damage on a hit until gallons of water in a single round, its speed is halved and
it finishes a long rest. its AC is reduced by 5 until the end of its next turn, or until it
Immutable Form. The golem is immune to any spell or effect takes cold or fire damage.
that would alter its form. Swarm. The swarm can occupy another creature’s space and
Magic Resistance. The golem has advantage on saving throws vice versa, and the swarm can move through any opening
against spells and other magical effects. large enough for a Tiny crumbling. The swarm can’t regain hit
Magic Weapons. The golem’s weapon attacks are magical. points or gain temporary hit points.
Soggy Bottom. If the golem comes into contact with 1 or more Actions
gallons of water in a single round, its speed is halved and Stabs. Melee Weapon Attack: +3 to hit, reach 0 ft., one target in
its AC is reduced by 5 until the end of its next turn, or until it the swarm’s space. Hit: 10 (4d4) piercing damage, or 5 (2d4)
takes cold or fire damage. piercing damage if the swarm has half of its hit points or
Actions fewer.
Slam. Melee Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit:
12 (2d8 + 3) bludgeoning damage.

Wizards of the Toast 21

 Bread Dragons
Wizarding Weekly, Dr. Stein’s favourite monthly
magazine (they miss a lot of issues), did a feature on
bearded dragons after a group of five terrified adven-
turers brought back a specimen from a tropical island.
Dr. Stein misread this name and, when he tried to
create something similar himself, produced a decided-
ly more doughy version. Thus was born the breaded
dragon, which has produced such famous individuals
as Jörmungluten, Flourfnir, and Doughroboros, as well
as all sorts of crusty subspecies like the ryevern and
ryedra.
Habitat & Lifecycle. To properly age and moult, a
breaded dragon needs both humidity and fiery heat.
For this reason, they love volcanic islands in tropical
locations. To grow, a dragon must shed. After moult-
ing, a breaded dragon must lounge in high humidity,
allowing its flesh to prove, before firing itself beside the
heat of red hot magma to develop a nice thick crust. If
a breaded dragon does not prove sufficiently, it comes
out of the whole process feeling a bit deflated.
Legally Adept. Bread dragons are born with an
innate understanding of legal jargon and the ability
find holes in almost any discussion. They are masters
of pedantry, possessing a supernatural ability to “um
actually...” almost any conversation to death. As with
most purveyors of the law, bread dragons seek riches,
and are especially partial to ostentatious pastries like
gold-leafed croissants and jewel-encrusted muffins.
A Bread Dragon’s Lair. A bread dragon lairs where
heat meets humidity. This could be the urban jungle
beneath a steamworks, a damp subterranean cave near
magma chambers, or natural hot springs.
Lair Actions
The magic of Legalese weaves complex, magical
threads throughout a bread dragon’s lair. The saving
throw DC and damage of the lair actions depend on
the level of the hunt, as shown in the Variable Lair
Action Statistics table.
Variable Lair Action Statistics
Hunt Level VDC Vmod Vdam
3rd 12 +4 3 (1d6)
7th 14 +6 7 (2d6)
12th 16 +8 14 (4d6)
Lair Actions. On initiative count 20 (losing initia-
tive ties), Hasbrodeus uses a lair action; he can’t use
the same effect two rounds in a row:
22
It Was Just a Draft. The magic of Legalese tries to
re-write history and indicate any agreements were
‘just drafts’. Each creature of the bread dragon’s
choice that is in the lair must make a VDC Wis-
dom saving throw or be charmed by the bread
dragon and his bread golems until initiative count
20 of the following round (winning ties) or it takes
damage.
Paperwork. A flock of tiny paper planes ani-
mates, lacerating creatures as they zoom by.
Each creature of the bread dragon’s choice in a
30-foot-radius sphere centred on a point in the
lair must make a VDC Dexterity saving throw
taking Vdam slashing damage on a failure, or half
as much damage on a success.
Red Tape. Up to three 15-foot cubes within
the lair become filled with ethereal red tape. A
creature that starts its turn in the area or enters
the area for the first time on a turn must succeed
on a VDC Intelligence saving throw or become
restrained by the tape. The restrained creature, or
a creature that has proficiency in History or that
can speak Legalese within reach of a restrained
creature, can use its action to make a VDC Intel-
ligence (History) check, freeing the restrained
creature on a success. A creature that can speak or
read Legalese has advantage on this saving throw
and check.
Each creature that is restrained by the tape on in-
itiative count 20 of the next round (winning ties)
gains 1 level of exhaustion, after which the tape
disappears and the creature is freed.
Regional Effects
The region containing a legendary bread dragon’s lair
is warped by the dragon’s magic:
• Bread within 6 miles of the lair spoils remarkably
slowly.
• Fog banks of hot steam can spontaneously appear
within 1 mile of the dragon’s lair, making naviga-
tion difficult and increasing the amount of water
creatures must drink to stay hydrated.
• All humidity in the area dissipates, and the ground
dries and cracks like a tiger loaf.
If the dragon dies, these effects fade over the course
of 1d10 days.
Opposite: Ognjen Sporin
 Bread Dragon Doughling Magic Resistance. The dragon has advantage on saving throws
against spells and other magical effects.
Medium construct, lawful neutral
Magic Weapons. The dragon’s weapon attacks are magical.
Armour Class 12 (natural armour)
Soggy Bottom. If the dragon comes into contact with 1 or more
Hit Points 16 (3d8 + 3)
gallons of water in a single round, its speed is halved and its
Speed 30 ft., fly 30 ft. AC is reduced by 5 until the end of its next turn, or until it takes
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA cold or fire damage.
13 (+1) 10 (+0) 13 (+1) 10 (+0) 11 (+0) 13 (+1) Actions
Saving Throws Dex +2, Con +3, Wis +2, Cha +3 Claw. Melee Weapon Attack: +3 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit:
Skills Perception +4, Stealth +2 4 (1d6 + 1) slashing damage.
Damage Immunities poison, psychic Breadth Weapon (Recharge 5–6). The dragon uses one of the
Condition Immunities charmed, exhaustion, frightened, para- following breadth weapons.
lyzed, petrified, poisoned
Senses blindsight 10 ft., darkvision 60 ft., passive Perception 14 Garlic Breadth. The dragon exhales foul-smelling gas in a
Languages Draconic, Legalese 15-foot cone. Each creature in the area must make a DC 11
Challenge 1 (200 XP) Proficiency Bonus +2 Constitution saving throw, taking 10 (3d6) poison damage
on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.
Charrable. If the dragon takes fire or radiant damage, its attacks
Gluten Breadth. The dragon exhales thick, sticky gluten
deal an additional 2 (1d4) slashing damage on a hit until it
in a 20-foot line that is 5 feet wide. Each creature in that
finishes a long rest.
line must succeed on a DC 11 Dexterity saving throw or be
Immutable Form. The dragon is immune to any spell or effect restrained for 1 minute. A creature can use its action to make
that would alter its form. a DC 11 Strength (Athletics) check, freeing itself or a creature
within its reach on a success.

Young Bread Dragon Actions

Large construct, lawful neutral Multiattack. The dragon makes two attacks: one with its Claws
Armour Class 15 (natural armour) and one with its Tail.
Hit Points 85 (10d10 + 30) Claw. Melee Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit:
Speed 40 ft., fly 40 ft. 10 (2d6 + 3) slashing damage.
Tail. Melee Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit:
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA 8 (1d10 + 3) bludgeoning damage.
17 (+3) 10 (+0) 17 (+3) 12 (+1) 11 (+0) 15 (+2)
Breadth Weapon (Recharge 5–6). The dragon uses one of the
Saving Throws Dex +2, Con +5, Wis +2, Cha +4 following breadth weapons.
Skills Perception +4, Stealth +2 Garlic Breadth. The dragon exhales foul-smelling gas in a
Damage Immunities poison, psychic 30-foot cone. Each creature in the area must make a DC 13
Condition Immunities charmed, exhaustion, frightened, para- Constitution saving throw, taking 21 (6d6) poison damage
lyzed, petrified, poisoned on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.
Senses blindsight 30 ft., darkvision 60 ft., passive Perception 14
Gluten Breadth. The dragon exhales thick, sticky gluten
Languages Common, Draconic, Legalese
in a 40-foot line that is 5 feet wide. Each creature in that
Challenge 4 (1,100 XP) Proficiency Bonus +2
line must succeed on a DC 13 Dexterity saving throw or be
Charrable. If the dragon takes 5 or more fire or radiant damage restrained for 1 minute. A creature can use its action to make
in a single instance, its attacks deal an additional 2 (1d4) slash- a DC 13 Strength (Athletics) check, freeing itself or a creature
ing damage on a hit until it finishes a long rest. within its reach on a success.
Immutable Form. The dragon is immune to any spell or effect
that would alter its form.
Legendary Actions
Magic Resistance. The dragon has advantage on saving throws The dragon can take 3 legendary actions, choosing from the
against spells and other magical effects. options below. Only one legendary action option can be used
at a time and only at the end of another creature’s turn. The
Magic Weapons. The dragon’s weapon attacks are magical.
dragon regains spent legendary actions at the start of its turn.
Soggy Bottom. If the dragon comes into contact with 5 or more
Prove. The dragon gains 5 (2d4) temporary hit points.
gallons of water in a single round, its speed is halved and its AC
is reduced by 5 until the end of its next turn, or until it takes 5 or Rise. The dragon moves up to its flying speed.
more cold or fire damage in a single instance. Tail Attack (Costs 2 Actions). The dragon makes a Tail attack.

24
Adult Bread Dragon Actions
Huge construct, neutral Multiattack. The dragon makes two attacks: one with its Claws
Armour Class 16 (natural armour) and one with its Tail.
Hit Points 149 (13d12 + 65) Claw. Melee Weapon Attack: +9 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit:
Speed 40 ft., fly 40 ft. 12 (2d6 + 5) slashing damage.
Tail. Melee Weapon Attack: +9 to hit, reach 15 ft., one target. Hit:
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA 11 (1d12 + 5) bludgeoning damage.
21 (+5) 10 (+0) 21 (+5) 14 (+2) 11 (+0) 19 (+4)
Breadth Weapon (Recharge 5–6). The dragon uses one of the
Saving Throws Dex +4, Con +9, Wis +4, Cha +8 following breadth weapons.
Skills Perception +8, Stealth +4 Garlic Breadth. The dragon exhales foul-smelling gas in a
Damage Immunities poison, psychic 60-foot cone. Each creature in the area must make a DC 17
Condition Immunities charmed, exhaustion, frightened, para- Constitution saving throw, taking 35 (10d6) poison damage
lyzed, petrified, poisoned on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.
Senses blindsight 60 ft., darkvision 120 ft., passive Perception 18
Gluten Breadth. The dragon exhales thick, sticky gluten in
Languages Common, Draconic, Legalese
a 60-foot line that is 10 feet wide. Each creature in that
Challenge 9 (5,000 XP) Proficiency Bonus +4
line must succeed on a DC 17 Dexterity saving throw or be
Charrable. If the dragon takes 10 or more fire or radiant damage restrained for 1 minute. A creature can use its action to make
in a single instance, its attacks deal an additional 3 (1d6) slash- a DC 17 Strength (Athletics) check, freeing itself or a creature
ing damage on a hit until it finishes a long rest. within its reach on a success.
Immutable Form. The dragon is immune to any spell or effect
that would alter its form.
Legendary Actions
Magic Resistance. The dragon has advantage on saving throws The dragon can take 3 legendary actions, choosing from the
against spells and other magical effects. options below. Only one legendary action option can be used
at a time and only at the end of another creature’s turn. The
Magic Weapons. The dragon’s weapon attacks are magical.
dragon regains spent legendary actions at the start of its turn.
Soggy Bottom. If the dragon comes into contact with 10 or more
Prove. The dragon gains 9 (2d8) temporary hit points.
gallons of water in a single round, its speed is halved and its AC
is reduced by 5 until the end of its next turn, or until it takes 10 or Rise. The dragon moves up to its flying speed.
more cold or fire damage in a single instance. Tail Sweep (Costs 2 Actions). The dragon swings its tail in a
wide circle. Each creature within 15 feet of it must succeed on
a DC 17 Dexterity saving throw or take 11 (2d10) bludgeoning
damage and be knocked prone.

Wizards of the Toast 25

 Ancient Bread Dragon Actions
Gargantuan construct, lawful neutral Multiattack. The dragon makes three attacks: one with its
Armour Class 17 (natural armour) Claws and one with its Tail.
Hit Points 280 (16d20 + 112) Claw. Melee Weapon Attack: +12 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target.
Speed 40 ft., fly 80 ft. Hit: 14 (2d6 + 7) slashing damage.
Tail. Melee Weapon Attack: +12 to hit, reach 20 ft., one target. Hit:
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA 13 (1d12 + 7) bludgeoning damage.
25 (+7) 10 (+0) 25 (+7) 16 (+3) 13 (+2) 21 (+5)
Breadth Weapon (Recharge 5–6). The dragon uses one of the
Saving Throws Dex +5, Con +12, Wis +6, Cha +10 following breadth weapons.
Skills Perception +11, Stealth +5 Garlic Breadth. The dragon exhales foul-smelling gas in a
Damage Immunities poison, psychic 90-foot cone. Each creature in the area must make a DC 20
Condition Immunities charmed, exhaustion, frightened, para- Constitution saving throw, taking 49 (14d6) poison damage
lyzed, petrified, poisoned on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.
Senses blindsight 60 ft., darkvision 120 ft., passive Perception 21
Gluten Breadth. The dragon exhales thick, sticky gluten in
Languages Common, Draconic, Legalese
a 90-foot line that is 10 feet wide. Each creature in that
Challenge 16 (15,000 XP) Proficiency Bonus +5
line must succeed on a DC 20 Dexterity saving throw or be
Charrable. If the dragon takes 15 or more fire or radiant damage restrained for 1 minute. A creature can use its action to make
in a single instance, its attacks deal an additional 3 (1d8) slash- a DC 20 Strength (Athletics) check, freeing itself or a creature
ing damage on a hit until it finishes a long rest. within its reach on a success.
Immutable Form. The dragon is immune to any spell or effect
that would alter its form.
Legendary Actions
Magic Resistance. The dragon has advantage on saving throws The dragon can take 3 legendary actions, choosing from the
against spells and other magical effects. options below. Only one legendary action option can be used
at a time and only at the end of another creature’s turn. The
Magic Weapons. The dragon’s weapon attacks are magical.
dragon regains spent legendary actions at the start of its turn.
Soggy Bottom. If the dragon comes into contact with 20 or more
Prove. The dragon gains 13 (2d12) temporary hit points.
gallons of water in a single round, its speed is halved and its AC
is reduced by 5 until the end of its next turn, or until it takes 20 Rise. The dragon moves up to its flying speed.
or more cold or fire damage in a single instance. Tail Attack. The dragon makes a Tail attack.
Tail Sweep (Costs 2 Actions). The dragon swings its tail in a
wide circle. Each creature within 20 feet of it must succeed on
a DC 20 Dexterity saving throw or take 22 (4d10) bludgeon-
ing damage and be knocked prone.

Opposite: Ognjen Sporin

26
Corporate Devils
With the invention of centralised trading platforms,
esoteric derivatives, and gullible pension funds, corpo-
rate devils have flourished. These fiends hide behind
layers of bureaucracy, using insider trading to crash
stocks, cause suffering, and create a desperate popu-
lace seeking safety. For the mere price of one’s soul,
these devils can assure financial security for the rest of
one’s days.
Above all else, corporate devils desire control; they
prefer to exploit others with devious contracts and
capitalise on desperate bargains rather than simply
eliminate those they view as competition. They rou-
tinely plot against respected humanoids of the Mate-
rial Plane, specifically targeting the most innovative
visionaries, seeking to undermine their success and
replace it with chaos, anxiety, instability, and dread.
Pyramid Schemes. Corporate devils’ first foray into
the Material Plane involved the building of pyramids.
The tiered business structure involved promising
unrealistic returns on investment for the construction
of these edifices, and used the investment of later
investors to pay off the earlier ones. This gave the
impression of a successful enterprise, and, when it all
finally collapsed, provided the devils with a swathe
of souls which had been promised as collateral. Now,
theorists the world over postulate wild hypotheses as
to the prevalence and significance of these enormous
monuments.
Hasbrodeus
Hasbrodeus is known by many titles: Count of Corpo-
ratism, Lord of Legalese, Hated of the Homebrewers,
Slayer of Fandoms, Waller of Gardens, Transactor of
Microns, the Deauthoriser, Colin Robinson. Halflings
call it The Pinstripe Pursesnatcher, dwarves, the Cor-
roder of Gold, and even the elves of the Monastery of
Hardheaded Singlemindedness revere Hasbrodeus’
ability to listen and learn nothing.
Hard Headed. Notoriously, Hasbrodeus refuses
to solicit input from others (even its own allies) with
regards to its plans. It believes its personal experiences
and ideas are superior and more than sufficient for
executing its schemes, despite the warnings it receives
in response to leaks. This leads to severe, even fatal,
consequences—both for itself and for those it sought
to manipulate.
 Hasbrodeus, Count of Capitalism
Medium fiend (devil), lawful evil
Armour Class 16 (natural armour)
Hit Points 71 (13d8 + 13)
Speed 40 ft.
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
14 (+2) 10 (+0) 13 (+1) 18 (+4) 6 (-2) 10 (+0)
Saving Throws Dex +3, Con +4, Wis +1
Skills Arcana +7, History +7, Perception +1
Damage Resistances acid, cold, fire; bludgeoning, piercing,
and slashing from nonmagical attacks that aren’t silvered
Damage Immunities poison
Condition Immunities charmed, exhaustion, frightened,
poisoned
Senses darkvision 120 ft., passive Perception 11
Languages Common, Infernal, Legalese, telepathy 120 ft.
Challenge 5 (1,800 XP) Proficiency Bonus +3
Decaying Weapons. Hasbrodeus’ weapon attacks are magical.
Hasbrodeus deals an extra 5 (2d4) necrotic damage when it hits
with a weapon attack (included in the attacks).
Legendary Resistance (2/Day). If Hasbrodeus fails a saving throw,
it can choose to succeed instead.
Venture Capital (Recharges after a Short or Long Rest). If Has-
brodeus would be reduced to 0 hit points, it summons spectral
investors and its current hit point total instead resets to 71 hit
points, it recharges its SLAPP, and it regains any expended uses
of Legendary Resistance. Additionally, Hasbrodeus can now use
the options in the “Mythic Actions” section for 1 hour. Award
a party an additional 1,800 XP (3,600 XP total) for defeating
Hasbrodeus after its Venture Capital activates.
Actions
Multiattack. Hasbrodeus uses SLAPP, if available, and then makes
two attacks with its Corporate Lash.
Corporate Lash. Melee Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, reach 10 ft., one
target. Hit: 4 (1d4 + 2) slashing damage plus 5 (2d4) necrotic
damage.
SLAPP (Recharge 4–6). Saving Throw: DC 15 Intelligence, range
60 ft., one creature. Failure: 7 (2d6) psychic damage and the
target is restrained by legal bonds that manifest as ethereal
chains. A creature restrained in this way gains 1 level of exhaus-
tion at the end of each of its turns. The restrained creature,
or a creature that has proficiency in History or that can speak
Legalese within reach of a restrained creature, can use its action
to make a DC 15 Intelligence (History) check, freeing the re-
strained creature on a success. A creature fluent in Legalese has
advantage on this saving throw and check.
28
Reactions
Alter Contract. After a creature that Hasbrodeus can see within
30 feet of it takes an action, Hasbrodeus can re-write the rules.
That creature can’t take that action again on its next turn.
Cease and Desist (2/Day). Hasbrodeus casts counterspell using
Intelligence as the spellcasting ability.
Legendary Actions
Hasbrodeus can take 2 legendary actions, choosing from the
options below. Only one legendary action option can be used at
a time and only at the end of another creature’s turn. Has-
brodeus regains spent legendary actions at the start of its turn.
Whip. Hasbrodeus makes one Corporate Lash attack.
Revoke Contract. Hasbrodeus targets one creature it can see
within 15 feet of it. The creature must succeed on a DC 15 Cha-
risma saving throw or be teleported to an unoccupied space
of Hasbrodeus’ choice that it can see within 30 feet of it. Until
the end of that creature’s next turn, it can’t move or be moved
within 15 feet of Hasbrodeus. A creature that can speak or
read Legalese has advantage on this saving throw.
Mythic Actions
If Hasbrodeus’ Venture Capital trait has activated in the last
hour, it can use the options below as legendary actions.
Intellectual Theft (Costs 2 Actions). Hasbrodeus chooses one
action or bonus action a creature took during the previous
turn and takes that action or bonus action. If this was the
Cast a Spell action, Hasbrodeus casts the same spell using
Intelligence as the spellcasting ability (spell save DC 15, +7 to
hit with spell attacks). If the action involved a weapon attack,
Hasbrodeus summons a copy of that weapon to make the
attack. If the action involved a class feature, Hasbrodeus uses
that same class feature. The GM has great latitude in decid-
ing how this works mechanically.
Mass Injunctions (Costs 2 Actions). Hasbrodeus targets any
number of creatures that it can see within 30 feet of it, con-
juring ribbons of ethereal red tape and forcing each creature
to make a DC 15 Intelligence saving throw. On a failure, a
creature takes 9 (2d8) psychic damage, it is afflicted by the
confusion spell, and its speed is halved until the end of its
next turn. On a success, a creature takes half as much damage
and its speed is halved until the end of its next turn. A crea-
ture that is confused can repeat the saving throw at the end
of each of its turns, ending the effect on itself on a success. A
creature that can speak or read Legalese has advantage on
this saving throw.
Hasbrodeus, Marquis of Misery
Medium fiend (devil), lawful evil
Armour Class 17 (natural armour)
Hit Points 130 (20d8 + 40)
Speed 40 ft.
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
16 (+3) 10 (+0) 15 (+2) 20 (+5) 8 (-1) 12 (+1)
Saving Throws Dex +4, Con +7, Wis +3
Skills Arcana +9, History +9, Perception +3
Damage Resistances acid, cold, fire; bludgeoning, piercing,
and slashing from nonmagical attacks that aren’t silvered
Damage Immunities poison
Condition Immunities charmed, exhaustion, frightened,
poisoned
Senses darkvision 120 ft., passive Perception 13
Languages Common, Infernal, Legalese, telepathy 120 ft.
Challenge 9 (5,000 XP) Proficiency Bonus +4
Decaying Weapons. Hasbrodeus’ weapon attacks are magical.
Hasbrodeus deals an extra 7 (2d6) necrotic damage when it hits
with a weapon attack (included in the attacks).
Legendary Resistance (3/Day). If Hasbrodeus fails a saving throw,
it can choose to succeed instead.
Venture Capital (Recharges after a Short or Long Rest). If Has-
brodeus would be reduced to 0 hit points, it summons spectral
investors and its current hit point total instead resets to 104 hit
points, it recharges its SLAPP, and it regains any expended uses
of Legendary Resistance. Additionally, Hasbrodeus can now use
the options in the “Mythic Actions” section for 1 hour. Award
a party an additional 5,000 XP (10,000 XP total) for defeating
Hasbrodeus after its Venture Capital activates.
Actions
Multiattack. Hasbrodeus uses SLAPP, if available, and then makes
two attacks with its Corporate Lash.
Corporate Lash. Melee Weapon Attack: +7 to hit, reach 10 ft., one
target. Hit: 5 (1d4 + 3) slashing damage plus 7 (2d6) necrotic
damage.
SLAPP (Recharge 4–6). Saving Throw: DC 75 Intelligence, range
60 ft., one creature. Failure: 10 (3d6) psychic damage and the
target is restrained by legal bonds that manifest as ethereal
chains. A creature restrained in this way gains 1 level of exhaus-
tion at the end of each of its turns. The restrained creature,
or a creature that has proficiency in History or that can speak
Legalese within reach of a restrained creature, can use its action
to make a DC 17 Intelligence (History) check, freeing the re-
strained creature on a success. A creature fluent in Legalese has
advantage on this saving throw and check.
Reactions
Alter Contract. After a creature that Hasbrodeus can see within
30 feet of it takes an action, Hasbrodeus can re-write the rules.
That creature can’t take that action again on its next turn.
Cease and Desist (2/Day). Hasbrodeus casts counterspell using
Intelligence as the spellcasting ability.
Legendary Actions
Hasbrodeus can take 2 legendary actions, choosing from the
options below. Only one legendary action option can be used at
a time and only at the end of another creature’s turn. Has-
brodeus regains spent legendary actions at the start of its turn.
Whip. Hasbrodeus makes one Corporate Lash attack.
Revoke Contract. Hasbrodeus targets one creature it can see
within 15 feet of it. The creature must succeed on a DC 17 Cha-
risma saving throw or be teleported to an unoccupied space
of Hasbrodeus’ choice that it can see within 30 feet of it. Until
the end of that creature’s next turn, it can’t move or be moved
within 15 feet of Hasbrodeus. A creature that can speak or
read Legalese has advantage on this saving throw.
Mythic Actions
If Hasbrodeus’ Venture Capital trait has activated in the last
hour, it can use the options below as legendary actions.
Intellectual Theft (Costs 2 Actions). Hasbrodeus chooses one
action or bonus action a creature took during the previous
turn and takes that action or bonus action. If this was the
Cast a Spell action, Hasbrodeus casts the same spell using
Intelligence as the spellcasting ability (spell save DC 17, +9 to
hit with spell attacks). If the action involved a weapon attack,
Hasbrodeus summons a copy of that weapon to make the
attack. If the action involved a class feature, Hasbrodeus uses
that same class feature. The GM has great latitude in decid-
ing how this works mechanically.
Mass Injunctions (Costs 2 Actions). Hasbrodeus targets any
number of creatures that it can see within 30 feet of it, con-
juring ribbons of ethereal red tape and forcing each creature
to make a DC 17 Intelligence saving throw. On a failure, a
creature takes 13 (3d8) psychic damage, it is afflicted by the
confusion spell, and its speed is halved until the end of its
next turn. On a success, a creature takes half as much damage
and its speed is halved until the end of its next turn. A crea-
ture that is confused can repeat the saving throw at the end
of each of its turns, ending the effect on itself on a success. A
creature that can speak or read Legalese has advantage on
this saving throw.
Wizards of the Toast 29
Hasbrodeus, Duke of Disinformation Reactions
Medium fiend (devil), lawful evil
Armour Class 17 (natural armour)
Hit Points 172 (23d8 + 69)
Speed 40 ft.
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
19 (+4) 10 (+0) 17 (+3) 23 (+6) 9 (-1) 14 (+2)
Saving Throws Dex +5, Con +8, Wis +4
Skills Arcana +11, History +11, Perception +4
Damage Resistances acid, cold, fire; bludgeoning, piercing, and
slashing from nonmagical attacks that aren’t silvered
Damage Immunities poison
Condition Immunities charmed, exhaustion, frightened,
poisoned
Senses darkvision 120 ft., passive Perception 14
Languages Common, Infernal, Legalese, telepathy 120 ft.
Challenge 13 (10,000 XP) Proficiency Bonus +5
Decaying Weapons. Hasbrodeus’ weapon attacks are magical.
Hasbrodeus deals an extra 9 (2d8) necrotic damage when it hits
with a weapon attack (included in the attacks).
Legendary Resistance (3/Day). If Hasbrodeus fails a saving throw, it
can choose to succeed instead.
Venture Capital (Recharges after a Short or Long Rest). If Has-
brodeus would be reduced to 0 hit points, it summons spectral
investors and its current hit point total instead resets to 172 hit
points, it recharges its SLAPP, and it regains any expended uses of
Legendary Resistance. Additionally, Hasbrodeus can now use the
options in the “Mythic Actions” section for 1 hour. Award a party
an additional 10,000 XP (20,000 XP total) for defeating Has-
brodeus after its Venture Capital activates.
Actions
Multiattack. Hasbrodeus uses SLAPP, if available, and then makes
two attacks with its Corporate Lash.
Corporate Lash. Melee Weapon Attack: +9 to hit, reach 10 ft., one
target. Hit: 6 (1d4 + 4) slashing damage plus 9 (2d8) necrotic
damage.
SLAPP (Recharge 4-–6). Saving Throw: DC 19 Intelligence, range 60
ft., one creature. Failure: 14 (4d6) psychic damage and the target
is restrained by legal bonds that manifest as ethereal chains. A
creature restrained in this way gains 1 level of exhaustion at the
end of each of its turns. The restrained creature, or a creature
that has proficiency in History or that can speak Legalese within
reach of a restrained creature, can use its action to make a DC 15
Intelligence (History) check, freeing the restrained creature on
a success. A creature fluent in Legalese has advantage on this
saving throw and check.
30
Alter Contract. After a creature that Hasbrodeus can see within
30 feet of it takes an action, Hasbrodeus can re-write the rules.
That creature can’t take that action again on its next turn.
Cease and Desist (3/Day). Hasbrodeus casts counterspell using
Intelligence as the spellcasting ability.
Legendary Actions
Hasbrodeus can take 3 legendary actions, choosing from the
options below. Only one legendary action option can be used at
a time and only at the end of another creature’s turn. Has-
brodeus regains spent legendary actions at the start of its turn.
Whip. Hasbrodeus makes one Corporate Lash attack.
Revoke Contract. Hasbrodeus targets one creature it can see
within 15 feet of it. The creature must succeed on a DC 19 Cha-
risma saving throw or be teleported to an unoccupied space
of Hasbrodeus’ choice that it can see within 30 feet of it. Until
the end of that creature’s next turn, it can’t move or be moved
within 15 feet of Hasbrodeus. A creature that can speak or
read Legalese has advantage on this saving throw.
Mythic Actions
If Hasbrodeus’ Venture Capital trait has activated in the last
hour, it can use the options below as legendary actions.
Intellectual Theft (Costs 2 Actions). Hasbrodeus chooses one
action or bonus action a creature took during the previous
turn and takes that action or bonus action. If this was the
Cast a Spell action, Hasbrodeus casts the same spell using
Intelligence as the spellcasting ability (spell save DC 19, +11
to hit with spell attacks). If the action involved a weapon
attack, Hasbrodeus summons a copy of that weapon to make
the attack. If the action involved a class feature, Hasbrodeus
uses that same class feature. The GM has great latitude in
deciding how this works mechanically.
Mass Injunctions (Costs 2 Actions). Hasbrodeus targets any
number of creatures that it can see within 30 feet of it, con-
juring ribbons of ethereal red tape and forcing each creature
to make a DC 19 Intelligence saving throw. On a failure, a
creature takes 18 (4d8) psychic damage, it is afflicted by the
confusion spell, and its speed is halved until the end of its
next turn. On a success, a creature takes half as much damage
and its speed is halved until the end of its next turn. A crea-
ture that is confused can repeat the saving throw at the end
of each of its turns, ending the effect on itself on a success. A
creature that can speak or read Legalese has advantage on
this saving throw.
 Want MORE!?
Get monster hunts, just like this*, each month.
Click Me!

All Foundry VTT ready.

heliana.lt/LootTavern
*Well... a little bit more serious

Track. Hunt. Craft.

Click Me!
Heliana’s Guide to Monster Hunting
PDF out now, pre-order for the physical products.
heliana.lt/Order
Text

31
 Legal
Alright folks, legalese is intimidating, especially when the corporation
that made it seeks to undo 23 years of understanding. This first bit is
plain English. All characters, items, creatures, and spells in this publi-
cation are original creations of Loot Tavern Publishing (also known as
LTP). The following are designated as open content: Fairy Berry, Has-
brodeus, Mirageweed, Saltworms, Sir Rye’on D’ancey, Paper Imps,
Pumpernax the Wrye, The Oven, Wizards of the Toast, all statblocks
herein, and all spells except enrage and water whip. The following is
designated product identity and is not open content: Heliana, Hump-
erdink, L’Arsène, Lotof’s End Desert, Loot Tavern, Suala, Rifika, the
spells enrage and water whip, and all magic items (sorry, they’re bor-
rowed from our other projects: Heliana’s Guide to Monster Hunting
and Loot Tavern).The maps are copyright of Cze & Peku. This builds
on Wizards of the Coast’s System Reference Document 5.1 © 2016.
Here’s the OGL text, cue legalese:
OPEN GAME LICENSE Version 1.0
The following text is the property of Wizards of the Coast, Inc. and
is Copyright 2000 Wizards of the Coast, Inc (“Wizards”). All Rights
Reserved.
1. Definitions:
(a)”Contributors” means the copyright and/or trademark owners who
have contributed Open Game Content;
(b)”Derivative Material” means copyrighted material including deriv-
ative works and translations (including into other computer languages),
potation, modification, correction, addition, extension, upgrade, im-
provement, compilation, abridgment or other form in which an existing
work may be recast, transformed or adapted;
(c) “Distribute” means to reproduce, license, rent, lease, sell, broadcast,
publicly display, transmit or otherwise distribute;
(d) “Open Game Content” means the game mechanic and includes the
methods, procedures, processes and routines to the extent such content
does not embody the Product Identity and is an enhancement over the
prior art and any additional content clearly identified as Open Game
Content by the Contributor, and means any work covered by this
License, including translations and derivative works under copyright
law, but specifically excludes Product Identity.
(e) “Product Identity” means product and product line names, logos
and identifying marks including trade dress; artifacts; creatures char-
acters; stories, storylines, plots, thematic elements, dialogue, incidents,
language, artwork, symbols, designs, depictions, likenesses, formats,
poses, concepts, themes and graphic, photographic and other visual
or audio representations; names and descriptions of characters, spells,
enchantments, personalities, teams, personas, likenesses and special
abilities; places, locations, environments, creatures, equipment, magical
or supernatural abilities or effects, logos, symbols, or graphic designs;
and any other trademark clearly identified as Product identity by the
owner of the Product Identity, and which specifically excludes the
Open Game Content;
(f) “Trademark” means the logos, names, mark, sign, motto, designs
that are used by a Contributor to identify itself or its products or the
associated products contributed to the Open Game License by the
Contributor
(g) “Use”, “Used” or “Using” means to use, Distribute, copy, edit,
format, modify, translate and otherwise create Derivative Material of
Open Game Content.
(h) “You” or “Your” means the licensee in terms of this agreement.
2. The License: This License applies to any Open Game Content that
contains a notice indicating that the Open Game Content may only be
Used under and in terms of this License. You must affix such a notice
to any Open Game Content that you Use. No terms may be added to
or subtracted from this License except as described by the License
32
itself. No other terms or conditions may be applied to any Open Game
Content distributed using this License.
3. Offer and Acceptance: By Using the Open Game Content You
indicate Your acceptance of the terms of this License.
4. Grant and Consideration: In consideration for agreeing to use this
License, the Contributors grant You a perpetual, worldwide, royal-
ty-free, non-exclusive license with the exact terms of this License to
Use, the Open Game Content.
5. Representation of Authority to Contribute: If You are contributing
original material as Open Game Content, You represent that Your Con-
tributions are Your original creation and/or You have sufficient rights to
grant the rights conveyed by this License.
6. Notice of License Copyright: You must update the COPYRIGHT
NOTICE portion of this License to include the exact text of the
COPYRIGHT NOTICE of any Open Game Content You are copying,
modifying or distributing, and You must add the title, the copyright
date, and the copyright holder’s name to the COPYRIGHT NOTICE
of any original Open Game Content you Distribute.
7. Use of Product Identity: You agree not to Use any Product Identity,
including as an indication as to compatibility, except as expressly
licensed in another, independent Agreement with the owner of each
element of that Product Identity. You agree not to indicate compat-
ibility or co-adaptability with any Trademark in conjunction with a
work containing Open Game Content except as expressly licensed in
another, independent Agreement with the owner of such Trademark.
The use of any Product Identity in Open Game Content does not
constitute a challenge to the ownership of that Product Identity. The
owner of any Product Identity used in Open Game Content shall retain
all rights, title and interest in and to that Product Identity.
8. Identification: If you distribute Open Game Content You must
clearly indicate which portions of the work that you are distributing are
Open Game Content.
9. Updating the License: Wizards or its designated Agents may publish
updated versions of this License. You may use any authorized version
of this License to copy, modify and distribute any Open Game Content
originally distributed under any version of this License.
10. Copy of this License: You MUST include a copy of this License
with every copy of the Open Game Content You Distribute.
11. Use of Contributor Credits: You may not market or advertise the
Open Game Content using the name of any Contributor unless You
have written permission from the Contributor to do so.
12. Inability to Comply: If it is impossible for You to comply with any
of the terms of this License with respect to some or all of the Open
Game Content due to statute, judicial order, or governmental regula-
tion then You may not Use any Open Game Material so affected.
13. Termination: This License will terminate automatically if You fail
to comply with all terms herein and fail to cure such breach within 30
days of becoming aware of the breach. All sublicenses shall survive the
termination of this License.
14. Reformation: If any provision of this License is held to be unen-
forceable, such provision shall be reformed only to the extent necessary
to make it enforceable.
15. COPYRIGHT NOTICE
• Open Game License v 1.0 Copyright 2000, Wizards of the Coast,
Inc.
• System Reference Document Copyright 2000-2003, Wizards of
the Coast, Inc.; Authors Jonathan Tweet, Monte Cook, Skip Wil-
liams, Rich Baker, Andy Collins, David Noonan, Rich Redman,
Bruce R. Cordell, John D. Rateliff, Thomas Reid, James Wyatt,
based on original material by E. Gary Gygax and Dave Arneson.
• Wizards of the Toast © 2022, Max Wartelle and Mohammed Bel-
lafquih, Loot Tavern Publishing, a.k.a. LTP.