6.

1 Signature Assignment

Abigail Roe

Fresno Pacific University

ECD-310: Advanced Human Diversity and Relations

Professor Cynthia Kaitfors-Smith

December 13, 2021

 Differences in Family and Culture

It is not a secret that family values, rules, and traditions are based heavily on the family’s

culture and structure. Of course, values can be based from person to person, but different cultures

and the way a family is set up can have a heavy impact on how a child grows up or the way the

family glues together. A child from a single-parent household will have a much different home

life than a person from a family with married parents. A person from a white family will have a

much different home experience than a person from a Hispanic family.

I come from a white family and my brother and I were raised by my single mother. As I

grew up, I could tell that there were differences between my family compared to my friends’

families that come from homes with married parents. In the article What are the Effects of Single

Parenting on a Child written by Dan Brennan, the author discusses what the impact of growing

up in a single-parent household has on a child. One of the main points that the author makes is

that children who come from single-parent households are less likely to finish school (Brennan,

2021). This rings highly untrue for my brother and me. My brother and I are the complete

opposite of this statistic. I am currently finishing my Bachelor’s Degree and plan to go on to get

a Master’s Degree, and my brother is a physics teacher with a Bachelor’s Degree and a teaching

credential. Brennan also states that children from single-parent households are likely to get worse

grades or struggle in school because their parents are too busy with work and are unable to help

with schoolwork at home (Brennan, 2021). This part was true for me, but less so for my brother.

I struggled in school when I was younger and my mom was always too busy with work to help

me. My brother was a natural when it came to his classwork so he was always the one to help me

when I needed it.

 Brennan’s article not only focuses on the negatives of growing up in a single-parent

household. There were many positive aspects as well. One point the author makes is about

stronger bonds. The author states that “single parents spend more quality time with their

children. They tend to develop a strong and unique bond with their child that may not have been

possible to achieve in a two-parent home setting” (Brennan, 2021). This was the statement that I

related to the most while reading this article. My mom and I are extremely close and I truly

believe that we would not have been nearly as close if it were not for her and my father’s

divorce. Not only do I believe that growing up with a single mother helped my bond with my

mother grow stronger, but I also believe that I am more responsible and mature now because of

it. Since my mom had to be gone a lot of the time for work, my brother and I had to pick up a lot

of the slack at home. The author states that “single parents have to work harder, and their

children have to collaborate with them for the good of the family. These children also learn how

to deal with disappointments and turbulent emotions” (Brennan, 2021). My brother and I shared

many responsibilities that we probably would not have had if it weren’t for being left alone a lot

of the time. If it were not for these moments, I do not think that I would have the life skills that I

have today. Not only do I think I am more emotionally mature, but my brother and I are closer

now after sharing responsibilities and emotions as children.

While growing up in a single-parent household used to be looked at as taboo or

nontraditional, it is now a much more common family dynamic than it used to be. However, it

can still have quite a strain on a child into adulthood. In an article titled Does Single Parenting

Affect Children by John Kelly, the author writes that “young adults whose parents had divorced

still reported distress – including feelings of loss because of a diminished relationship with one

parent – 10 years after the fact” (Kelly, 2021). Sadly, I relate to this statement heavily. While my
relationship with my mother grows stronger and stronger, my relationship with my father has

never been a great one. My parents divorced when I was too young to really remember, and my

relationship with my dad faded quickly. My dad was a heavy drinker which ended with giving

my mom full custody. By the time his alcoholism was resolved, he had already remarried and

was treating his stepchildren with more love than he showed my brother and I. Even though the

divorce was years ago, I still feel the pain of the broken relationship with my father.

In contrast with my single mother-led family, I interviewed my friend Kayla who comes

from a Hispanic family with married parents. Kayla and I are very close, and we share a lot of

concerns about our families with each other, which is why I chose to interview her. Our families

could not be any more different, and this became more apparent as our interview progressed. For

some insight, my friend Kayla and I are both 23 years old. Kayla still lives at home with her

parents and it is a struggle for her at times. I asked Kayla what it was and is like when she

decides to go out with friends. She told me that even at the age of 23, she has to ask her parents

for permission if she is going to be out late. Sometimes, she decides to be bold and just leave the

house without permission. Within a few hours, she will receive calls from her angry father telling

her she needs to come home. She suspects this is because of her parent’s disapproval of her being

in a serious relationship with her boyfriend. Even if she is out with friends and her boyfriend is

not present, they will think she is lying and demand that she come home. In an article titled

Latina Researcher: Is Strict, Controlling Parenting Hurting Our Kids written by Juan Castillo,

the author delves into what it is like to be Hispanic and trying to have a thriving social life. He

stated that when he interviewed a woman named Esther Calzada, she spoke about her experience

asking her parents for permission to go to a sleepover for the first time. She stated that her

parents “looked at [her] as if [she] had two heads,” (Castillo, 2015). After reading the article, it
became clear that Hispanic parents’ disapproval of hanging out with friends is a commonly

shared experience among the Hispanic community.

In the article titled Proof Latino Parents Deprived Us of a Normal Childhood, author

Wendy Barba uses humor to make light of the hardships she experienced under the roof of strict

Latino parents. I read a few of the comments made by the author to Kayla, and one in particular

really stood out to her. “Forget about dating. Because we’d end up pregnant… and die!” (Barba,

2015). Kayla has been in a relationship with her boyfriend since her freshman year of high

school. Ever since then, her parents do everything they can to make sure she is not able to see

him. Since she still lives under their roof, she has to abide by their rules. It is very interesting that

she sometimes has to behave like a teenager because of the restrictions her parents place on her.

This is a huge contrast to my mom, who never had an issue with me dating. I had all the freedom

in the world as long as I was making smart decisions and keeping myself safe. Kayla and I came

to the conclusion that this is a common contrast between white and Hispanic families.

Overall, Kayla and I have lived very different lives while growing up in our respective

families. My life growing up in a white household with a single mother was very lenient and full

of freedom and respect. Kayla on the other hand felt heavy pressure from her Hispanic, married

parents to stay home, focus on school, and not spend so much time with friends and her

boyfriend. My single mother was gone a lot of time to work which left my brother and me

unsupervised and free to do as we pleased, and this also taught us how to be responsible and care

for ourselves when our mom was not home. Kayla’s parents are married which meant there was

always someone home to make sure she was following their rules, however, this also meant she

was always being taken care of so she never had to learn how to be independent. It was an
interesting experience to compare our lives and really understand the different circumstances in

that we were raised.

 References

Barba, W. (2015, October 1). Proof Latino Parents Deprived Us of a Normal Childhood.

Mitu. https://wearemitu.com/mitu-voice/things-we-missed-out-on-because-our-parents-

were-insanely-strict/

Brennan, D. (2021, August 12). How Does Single Parenting Affect a Child?

MedicineNet.

https://www.medicinenet.com/how_does_single_parenting_affect_a_child/article.htm

Castillo, J. (2015, June 25). Latina Researcher: Is Strict, Controlling Parenting Hurting

Our Kids? NBC News. https://www.nbcnews.com/news/latino/new-take-respeto-

authoritarian-parenting-among-latinos-n381131

Kelly, J. (2021, February 23). Does single parenting affect children? Howstuffworks.

https://lifestyle.howstuffworks.com/family/parenting/parenting-tips/single-parenting-

affect-children.htm

Medina, Kayla. (2021, December 9). Personal Communication.