FOOTNOTE TO YOUTH

By: Jose P. Garcia

Dodong, a farmer’s son, he tells his father plainly that he plans to marry Teang. This
announcement is met with silence, and Dodong presses the matter impatiently. His
father asks him if he must really marry and reminds him of how young he still is.
However, Dodong feels that at seventeen, he is already sufficiently mature. His father
capitulates but asks Dodong to tell his mother the news. Dodong refuses to do it
himself, and even in this respect his father helplessly lets him have his way.
The story jumps forward several years, to the moment when Teang, now Dodong’s
wife, is giving birth. Dodong leaves the house out of fear— fear of what the house has
become to him and fear of Teang, whose agonized cries have begun to sound like a
sort of personal criticism of him. He begins to realize that he is perhaps too young to be
a father. Shortly after, his mother calls out to him to come back, announcing that the
ordeal is over. Looking at her, Dodong is overcome with embarrassment, as if he had
taken something that was not properly his. His father comes out and informs him that
the child is a boy. They call out repeatedly to Dodong, who stands still in the sun until
he has no choice but to come back. Avoiding his parents’ eyes, Dodong walks ahead of
them gloomily, wishing for some kind of punishment. With kind voices, Dodong’s
mother and father greet him, the latter gripping Dodong’s hand gently. They lead him
into the room where Teang and the baby are. Dodong observes Teang with pity and a
repeating sense of embarrassment. When he hears his newborn son cry out, however,
Dodong feels a swell of happiness and asks to hold him. His first child is named Blas.
Dodong has many more children over the years, a fact which angers him, as he did not
want any more. However, it did not seem like something he could stop. These events
take a heavier toll on Teang, who loses her youthful figure. The work she has to do
around the house is endless, and she cries sometimes, wishing that she had not
married. However, she keeps this to herself so as not to upset Dodong. Nonetheless,
she wonders what would have happened if she had married another suitor from her
youth—a man whom she knows remains childless to this day, despite having also
married. Despite all of this, Teang knows that she loves Dodong. Meanwhile, Dodong
wonders bitterly why so many of his dreams have gone unfulfilled and why he feels
forsaken despite chasing after love. Turning inward, he searches for the answer but
finds none. He thinks that perhaps the absence of an answer is necessary for making
youth “dream fully sweet.”
One night, the eighteen-year-old Blas comes home, troubled and restless. He is unable
to sleep, and so Dodong asks him what’s wrong. Blas calls out softly to his father and
announces his plan to marry a girl named Tona. At this news, Dodong lies silent and
unmoving. When Blas asks his father to think about it, Dodong rises from his mat and
tells Blas to follow him outside. In the moonlight, Dodong asks Blas again if he is sure
of marrying and if he must. Blas replies resentfully that he is sure and asks if Dodong
has objections. Even though Dodong replies that he has none, deep down he wishes to
spare his son from the same fate that has befallen him. He looks at his son helplessly,
with a mixture of regret, sadness, and pity.