Paradigms Ltd

Harley M Storey
The Life Coach Toolman

Dear Subscriber

Here is your Transference Effect Tool® from 101 Tools Life Coaches Use.®

This is a profound psychological process to understand and it's why when you go to your therapist
about relationship issues they ask about your childhood.

This is because many of our current issues have their roots in earlier formative life experiences.

If you're a wife who feels constantly ignored by your husband, this may have something to do with
your Father - perhaps he didn’t pay you enough attention?

Or perhaps your girlfriend treats you disrespectfully and you were attracted to her because that's
how your Mother made you feel when you were a child.

We can transfer our feelings on to people and events.

If we have not fully felt our loss, or if the loss is especially significant, we will probably experience
some degree of transference where we continue to feel - transfer - that grief onto subsequent losses.

For example, our beloved grandmother may pass and we are too busy to grieve over her loss,
but when our beloved cat unexpectedly dies, we experience profound loss and feelings out of
proportion to the event.

This is a clue that what we are really dealing with is not our cats passing, but our unfelt feelings over
our grandmother.

As always after you've taken a look at the tool, I'd love to hear your feedback, comments or
suggestions.

Kind regards

Harley M Storey
The Life Coach Toolman
A.C.E (NZSC), M.I.C.F
Paradigms Life Coaching Ltd

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 Paradigms Ltd

The Transference Effect

This is the order of the transference effect …

Loss - Unfelt feelings - Fear - Transference - Freedom

Here’s the explanation of how it works …

A loss occurs.
We may lose someone or something, a relationship may end, or we are mistreated.
We do not feel these feelings, so they remain unfelt.
These unfelt feelings become our "baggage."
We carry this baggage with us.
The weight and pressure of carrying our baggage causes fear, stress and anxiety.
Our baggage is "transferred" onto present day events.
These "transference events" helps us feel our unfelt feelings and resolve our initial loss.
As we feel these feelings, we develop more positive beliefs about ourselves and the world.
This leads us to emotional healing and mental freedom.

Am I dealing with a transference issue?

Ask yourself …

o Are my feelings in proportion to the events?

o Is my reaction rational and reasonable?

o Is my response balanced?

o Do you feel just like you did "when _____* happened"?

* = a previous event with similar emotional effects

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