Peer Review on Assignment 2: Technical

Summary
Reviewer Name: ______Mayra Hinojosa_______________________________
Name of Person whose draft you reviewed: ______Delaney Danielski_____
Write your constructive comments and suggestions directly into this worksheet.

Does the technical summary provide and consider the following aspects?

Descriptive Abstract
Does the descriptive abstract tell you in brief what the article is about? (Remember that the
final summary will have an informative abstract!)

I think the abstract does touch on important part of the document but is not organized in a
manner that makes it easy to understand what we are going to read about. The first sentence if
great, but I would continue it with saying that there is a disproportionate number of women
and men in the field due to issue 1, issue 2, and issue 3.

Summary
 Can the summary stand alone to provide the reader with enough information to
know what the original text is about? Please point out what is well explained and,
also, indicate what might still be needed to comprehend the content.
The summary can for sure stand alone to provide information about what the
original text is like. Delaney touches every part that is important for the main article,
including the 3 main problems and the solutions for each of them. If something, I
believe using less detail/data on the paragraphs could help the summary be more
efficient.

 The technical articles are uploaded on the DB of Module 2. Please skim your peer’s
article to check whether all necessary information / sections are included and
summarized accurately. Point out where improvements can be made.

I believe every area is shown in the summary, but I would like to see them less
structured. The article uses headers since there is a large amount of information, but
for a summary the headers should disappear and the connections between each
paragraph should be softer. I would also advice to not have the conclusion and
introduction section, but to have this information in one or two lines.

 Is the summary free of redundancy and needless details or wordiness? Please

indicate what stands out as well written, then indicate what can be improved.

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 No, I believe there is too many details and data. While this show very well what the
main problem of the article is, they can also be a lot of numbers and names for a
summary. I would advise to try and condense this information and avoid repetition
of the same words. I would also try and avoid putting direct quotes from the article.

 Is the source of the document properly indicated (see textbook for guidance)?

No, the source should be shown at the end of the article

Design
 Does the writer use white space appropriately and uses headers (as applicable) to
guide the reader?

Delaney has a great use of white space when separating the paragraph, but I would
prefer if there were not as many headers. I think the information could be simplified
further and thus, some of the headers could disappear.

Style

 Is the style, level of technicality appropriate for a non-technical audience?

The level of technicality is well achieved. The style however has some minor changes
from the article to the summary. I would advise to keep the point of view the same,
so the summary would not refer to the article authors as “the authors” or “they”.

 Comment on mechanical or grammatical errors and point to/ cite from the original
text for easy reference.

I could not personally find any grammatical errors, granted English is not my first
language. For this reason, I always pass my articles through Grammarly to make sure
I am not making any dumb mistakes.

 What other constructive suggestions can you offer your peer to further improve this
draft to be a well-organized, clear, and easy to follow set of instructions?

I like how you mention the obstacles in the first paragraph, it gives the whole
summary more fluency. I would try and give the rest of the summary more of that
fluency, and make the different “issues” less obvious.

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