I Hate Him?

Zheila Alaina Nurul Fatimah

From : Me, your daughter.

To : Irresponsible Dad

Daddy? Oh, no, Mr. Vino. Sorry, I mistakenly called you “Daddy”. Looks like you
don’t fit with the tittle, “Daddy”. Do you remember me? Your daughter that you don't see
at all. This letter is the 78th letter I sent you. I want to remind you how cruel you are to my
mother and me. She always prevented me from hating you and worked hard to support me.
Just for college, I have to work because there are no fees to pay for college.

Then, what is your service? Five years ago, last, I asked you to come to my
birthday. But, you didn't come at all, you didn't even reply to my message.

How can you have a happy life when I'm here alone? Mother, the person who
became my reason to remain patient, went to her peace. I'm sure, she is happy there
because she is a mother and a pious wife. I'm sad that a woman as good as Mom has to
marry a man like you. I know, your family is very close to your marriage to Mom. But at
least, I am your daughter. You do not responsible even though you've separated from
Mother. Please! At least, go to Mother's grave! Apologize to her.

I am always waiting for replies to my letters. But, nothing! There was absolutely no
reply to my 78 letters. Then, I got the courage to visit his house is located quite far from my
house. My father's house is in Jakarta but I and my mother are in Bogor. I wanted to see how
cruel he was that he didn't even remember his daughter. Even though I hate him, I'm afraid.
Afraid that he doesn't remember me as his daughter. No matter how much I hate Dad. I'm
still, a girl who longs for a father figure, wants to get his attention, and wants to be scolded
when I do something wrong.

I go to his house. The house is very big but looks neglected. Then, my eyes focused
on the mailbox which looked very full. Why do I know? Because in the mailbox, you can see
a letter half out of place. Honest! I am very sad because he did not check my letter so much.

“Child? Sorry, can I help you?” asked the old man behind me. His sudden words
made me quite surprised.
 "I want to meet the owner of this house, Mr. Vino." I tried to be tough and make my
voice like nothing happened.

Instead of answering. The old man gave me a closer look. But I'm a little scared. What
if he's a kidnapper? Ugh! I can't imagine if I was kidnapped. Am I really made to suffer?

“Are you … Fena, right?” The old man's question made me quite surprised. How does
he know my name? How come a man his age is a stalker? It's not possible. So, I tried to think
positively about this old man first.

"How do you know my name?" I asked. I still tried to be calm and keep smiling.
"Because, I take care, Mr. Vino."

"Take care of Mr Vino? What do you mean, sir? " Honest! I was very confused to hear the
answer from him. What does it mean? Take care of Dad? What happened? Why don't I know
anything ?!

"Fena, why don't you ever visit Mr. Vino? Every day he called out your name,"
explained the old man.

"What’s wrong with Mr. Vino?" It's destroyed all my negative thinking towards the old man.
Right now what I think is What happened to Dad? I still don't understand what happened.
Does he really love me? But, why in these five years, has he not visited me?

The old man didn't answer and instead took me to a hospital. My mind messed up. My
feelings were chaotic, my anxiety was very high. How about this? I'm scared. God, please.

After arriving at one of the doors that read “Anggrek 3”, we stopped. The old man
invited me to come in. My defenses are down. The tears that were not in my eyes, have now
come out and fallen. I saw Dad lying there hugging my photo. My body is limp. However, I
kept trying to walk until I was right beside him.

I looked at his face and saw his eyes that were now swollen from crying. I can't stand
to see this. My tears never stop "Sir, what happened?" I asked the old man who was beside
me staring with pity.

“He had an accident 5 years ago when he was going to your birthday. Then, in a coma
for three years. When he woke up, he only said the name Fena. Then, for the past two years,
he has been here because he is still on therapy to be able to walk again and also… His eyes
cannot see because of diabetic retinopathy which is caused by damage to blood vessels in the
tissue behind his eye or retina. At this time, he would not wake up, he was given medication
and set a time to sleep. So, he will wake up in two hours. " I cried when I heard the
explanation from the old man.

Now I know the reason Dad was not present for my birthday. Really! I'm so selfish. For 5
years I continued to hate him without knowing the truth. I really am a child of lawlessness.
How could I say such cruel words in my letters to him.

"Why didn't anyone tell me ?!"

"I'm sorry, but Mr. Vino's family forbade it."

"Here, the gift he wanted to give you five years ago." The old man gave a gift and a
letter on it. I wiped my tears and took them. I opened the gift which turned out to contain a
guidebook to achieve dreams and registration letters that had already passed at a university. It
turned out that Dad knew what I wanted to be, so he registered my grades and all my
paperwork for going to that Department and told me later as a surprise.

This hit me even more. I really don't deserve to be his daughter. In fact, it's not Dad
that's bad, but me! I didn't even try to find Dad's whereabouts. I'm selfish! I just want Dad
who approached me not me who tried to approach him. What's more, the contents of the letter
that Dad wrote.

To my dear daughter, Fena

Forgive me. Dad and Mom make you separate from your parents. But, even
though Dad has separated from Mom, still, you are the most important thing to me.
You two are Dad's reasons to continue to be strong, especially you, Fena. Dad loves you
very much. Dad will always take care of you.
           I think I want to be reborn in a new family that is not against my marriage. Dad
wants to be with you. Scolding you when you are wrong, tasting the food that you will
dedicate to your parents, forbidding you from dating, teaching subjects that you don't
understand, and much more.
           Please don't hate Dad for this divorce. I had suffered a lot because I had to be
separated from the woman who I loved so much. I will not be strong if my daughter,
who is like a life for me, must hate me.
Happy birthday, my dear 
 At this time, my tears weren't just shedding tears, but along with screams. All of that
exploded. I'm broken. My angel is lying weak. During this time, I considered this angel to be
a devil. I kept on hugging Dad, crying and waiting for Dad to wake up.

END

Tentang Penulis
Zheila Alaina Nurul Fatimah merupakan gadis biasa yang bermimpi menjadi seorang
penulis dari saat ia masih duduk di bangku SMP. Ia lahir di kota hujan, di bawah naungan
Cancer dan memiliki niat untuk pergi ke Negara Sakura. Gadis ini merupakan penganut
happy ending. Ia juga sudah berhasil menerbitkan bukunya yang berjudul “I’m Still a
Heroine” dan menjadi editor di salah satu penerbit indie. Jika ingin menyapanya, silahkan
kunjungi “sosial medianya” di :

Instagram : @Zheilaanf_
Wattpad : @Zheilaanf
Twitter : @Zhea_Chan
Gmail : fatimahzheila@gmail.com
Zheila Alaina Nurul Fatimah is an ordinary girl who dreamed of becoming a writer
from when she was still in junior high school. She was born in the city of rain, under the
auspices of Cancer and had the intention of going to Sakura Country. She has also
successfully published her book entitled "I'm Still a Heroine" and has become an editor at an
indie publisher. She is also active in sending short stories in anthology books. If you want to
greet her, please visit her "social media" at ;

Instagram : @Zheilaanf_
Wattpad : @Zheilaanf
Twitter : @Zhea_Chan
Gmail : fatimahzheila@gmail.com