Terminal Illness

and Identity
By Lindsay Payne
“Being told devastating news
presents a profound challenge
to our self-understanding”
“Accepting Being Poz”
Shock
 Fear
“I was pretty frightened. . . . Fear. I really felt there would be
no outlook. I wouldn’t be able to attain any of the goals I
wanted for myself. Like I really thought . . . it would be a
whole new world I’d have to be dealing with.”
 Denial
Sadness
 Fatalism
“There has always been part of me that’s a depressive side
that always looks for an easy way out, so when I was finally
diagnosed, there was part of me saying, “This was kind of
what you wanted all along. An easy way out.”
“I always feel that I am interrupting. I want to shrink in
the aisles and not interfere with the wheelchair. ...
[silence] ...I got old ... Sometimes I spill food on my
shirt...I think about things that 90-year-old men think
about, not 32 year old men. I’m dreaming that I’m
walking, not that I’m in a wheelchair”.
“My wife married a handsome,
healthy, smart, excellent
bread-winner, with a promising
future ... [Silence]. Look what’s
become of me …”
“The way a person accepts the ups and
downs of their life and their
consequences gives them the
possibility, even in very difficult
circumstances, to find a new and
deeper meaning to their life. Patients
can try to feel grateful for the illness,
and appreciative of what they have
discovered through it.”