It's like looking in the mirror

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/36552796.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Fandom: Iron Man (Movies), Iron Man (Comics), Agent Carter (TV), Agent Carter
(Marvel Short Film), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel (Comics),
Marvel
Relationship: Peggy Carter & Tony Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark
Character: Peggy Carter, Tony Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Howard Stark
Additional Tags: OW, Pain, i hurt myself, Give tony a hug, James "Rhodey" Rhodes &
Tony Stark at MIT, SHIELD Director Peggy Carter, Minor Peggy
Carter/Angie Martinelli, blame tiktok for this idea, Implied/Referenced
Drug Addiction, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Dissociation, But not alot, oh
god im my dad, Mentioned Howard Stark
Language: English
Stats: Published: 2022-01-20 Chapters: 3/3 Words: 2197

It's like looking in the mirror

by unstablequeerbitch

Summary

Short and sweet summary: I decided I need a little angst and for Tony to realize he needed
help. Rhodey calls Peggy asking for help with Tony.

Notes

I saw this TikTok https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdrVE9us/ and decided I didn't need to do

school work and wrote this fic instead.
 Chapter 1

Margaret ‘Peggy’ Carter commanded respect wherever she went. It didn't matter if you were the
enemy, friend, or a disgruntled board member, there was a certain admiration and respect given to
that woman. Her kindness was well known, but her anger wasn't something to be trifled with.
Rhodey always enjoyed Peggy (or Aunt Peggy, as she always insisted. “Any friend of my family
becomes family, Rhodey.” “Even her?” Rhodey pointed to a TV star talking to Howard. Peg- Aunt
Peggy frowned. “I don't think she's a friend.” She playfully hit Rhodey’s shoulder. “Now accept
your fate as having an aunt and tell me how school is going for you.”)

Maybe it was the fact Aunt Peggy always treated him as a separate entity than Tony, or the fact she
dropped everything to help him study for an English test last semester. Either way, Rhodey was
scared to call her, but he couldn't do this anymore.

Rhodey was only gone for a few days to visit his mom and came back early to avoid the harsh
weather coming. Mom made some food for Rhodey to bring back to the school and share with
Tony. He knew Tony parties hard, but didn't think it got to this point. Tony’s dorm room was a
mess.

Beer bottles were scattered across the room. He was pretty sure that was not flour that dusted a
desk in the corner. Scorched marks littered the furniture and walls like dark stars, something needle
looking glinted in the lamp light. At this point, it didn't matter if all of this was taken by Tony or
shared by a group- it was too much and something needed to be done.

Rhodey looked at the bed, hoping-no praying, that the lump was actually Tony. He didn't know
what he would do if it was just a pile of clothes or a stranger. He took a deep breath (and
immediately regretted it). The room stank, badly, which scared him more. It meant that it is
probably like this before he visited his mom. ‘Hindsight is 20-20’ Rhodey thought as he walked
closer and closer to the bed. ‘I should've tried harder for him coming home with me.’ Once he got
close enough, he shook the blanket… which revealed a pile of clothes, books, and a half case of
beer.

“Dammit Tony!”

Rhodey walked out of the room and stared at his phone before dialing. It rang only for a few
seconds before picking up. “I need your help, Auntie.”

—
.

Director Carter was in an agent training meeting when her phone rang. Her face gave a slight
worried face before she covered it up. Peggy didn't give too many people her cell phone number. It
was bulky to carry and mainly used for emergencies. She nodded her head to apologize. “I'm sure
Agent Fury can continue without my supervision.” She stood up, “Now please excuse me while I
take this call.”

The minute she was in the gray hall, she answered the phone.

“I need your help, Auntie.”

She walked briskly to her office. “What can I do?”

Her favorite nephew (shh, don't tell Tony) sighed. “I don't know. Tony hasn't been doing too well
the past few weeks. I went home and came back today. I wanted to surprise him and his room-”
sighed again.

“His room is a mess and there is alcohol everywhere?” She guessed as she started packing up her
items to leave for the day.

“Yeah.” Rhodey agreed. “I think it’s out of hand. Again.” She heard a door shut. “Look, I'm
willing to help clean his room, but I can't do much else. I love him, he's my best friend, but I can't
do this much more. I have my own grades I have to watch. I also have to-”

Peggy locked her office door. “It's okay Rhodey. You need to take care of yourself. That is most
important. You can't help someone if you can't take care of yourself first.” She walked into the
elevator, sliding on her sunglasses. “I’ll be there as soon as I can. Howard had issues too.” The
elevator dinged as the doors opened. “Thank you for calling me.”

“Yeah”

“Wait Rhodey”

“Hm?”
She opened the car door. “Stay safe and take care of yourself.”

“Okay”

“Nope… I know you have the smarts to not do something dumb, but I rather hear you say it.”

He sighed, and Peggy thought she might have heard a smile. “I, Rhodey, will not do something
dumb and will wait for the all-knowing Aunt Peggy. I will take care of myself under the pains of
Angie stuffing me full of Italian food till I can no longer move.”

Peggy laughed as she started the car. “See you later.” She hung up and started towards school.
 Chapter 2
Chapter Summary

...oof

Tony didn't remember much of the night to be honest. Also didn't know where he was. After
emptying his stomach a few times, grabbing his sunglasses (how did they get there???), and
stealing a jacket, he started stumbling back towards his dorm room.

After being turned around a few times, he made it to the right building and the right door. He
pushed open the door. The light was bright, so he raised his hands above his eyes as his other hand
flared to find the light switch. Someone whistled. Tony froze and forced his eyes to squint. There
was a man holding a trash bag surrounded with organized piles of clothes, papers, and textbooks.

“Rhodes?”

“You aren't looking to good their Tones.”

Tony rubbed his face. “Oh fuck off. I'm fine. Just need some sleep.”

“And an eye appointment as well if you can't see me.”

Tony turned to face his aunt with only one thought in his mind.

Shit

—
.
—

Peggy tried not to take a sharp breath in, staring at Tony. It was like looking into the past. Tony’s
hair was a mess. His clothes were rumpled and shirt half open and half tucked in. His skin was pale
and waxy. Tony had obviously lost weight. What got her the most was that look in his eyes. It was
too close how Howard would look after a few bad nights.

The boy waved. “Hey Pegs”

She stepped forward, closer to Tony. “I would ask how you have been, but I think your room is a
good descriptor.”

She could see Tony mentally brushing this whole mess off. “I'm fine.” He stumbled towards his
desk chair. He gestured widely around the room as he spoke.“This wasn't all me”

Peggy glanced over at Rhodey and raised her eyebrows, then nodded at the door. Rhodey got the
message and left. It was for the best. Rhodey had been watching Tony on and off since school has
started. She knew he wanted to be there for his best friend, but Rhodey was burned out and tired.

She watched as Rhodey shut the door. Peggy sighed and walked over to the chair where Tony was.
After a few moments of brushing items off to the side, she sat on the desk facing Tony.
“What are thinking, Tony?”

He wouldn't look at her in the eye. “Nothing”

She picked up a can off the desk and through it towards the forgotten about trash bag. The can
soared through the air and landed in the bag.

“Want to know what I think?”

The boy didn't answer. She grabbed a red solo cup and frowned. “I never took you as a cliché
type.”

Silence

She threw the cup towards the trash bag. The cup landed with too much force and jumped out.

“I think you miss many things. You were never good with change.” She continued talking,
throwing trash into the bag as nonchalantly as could. “You will refuse to admit it, but you miss
your parents. Hearing that Rhodey was planning a trip home, and you couldn't, hurt. I know
Howard let you drink alcohol at his ridiculous parties. Which was wrong on so many levels.
Howard was an asshole.”

Tony chuckled. Peggy smiled, finally seeing something in Tony other than pain.

“He was! I am just telling the truth. Howard was an asshole. Somehow, that asshole became my
friend. It was no secret that Howard was brash and a ladies man. What, by some miracle, kept out
of the papers was his substance abuse.”

Tony looked up and glared. “I don't have a substance abuse problem.”

Peggy tossed another cup into the bag. “Really? Because what I see in this room seems to disagree
with you.”

Tony stood up and started pacing around the room. “I am fine, Aunt Peggy. I don't have a
problem.” He scratched the back of his neck. “I don't miss dad.” He shook his head and ran his
fingers through the dirty hair. “And I’m not jealous Rhodey could see his mom and I couldn't.”

He stood still and stared daggers at Peggy.

“I am nothing like dad. NOTHING! I have control. I can stop if I want, now I don't need your
help.” Tony pointed at the dorm door, with those dark stars littering it. “Now please leave.”

Peggy crossed her arms. “I am not going anywhere. Do you want to stop?”

“I said leave. Or… Or ill call campus police.”

“Really?” Peggy raised an eyebrow. “You'll call campus police when you have drugs in your
room.”

Next thing Tony knew, they were both yelling at each other about who needs help and what help
means. They were yelling about the fact his parents were dead, and it’s okay to hurt. They were
yelling about therapy and medications. At some point, Peggy got off the desk and was standing in
front of Tony. They were in each other's facings. Peggy’s hair had started to fall from it’s pinned
up form. Tony, somehow, grabbed a blanket and wrapped himself in it, all while yelling. Peggy
started to walk away before turning around one last time and threw up her arms in the air.
“DAMMIT, HOWARD, I AM TRYING TO HELP YOU!”

Tony shut up fast, staring at his aunt.

“WHY CAN’T YOU SEE THAT?”

Tony glared at her. “What. Did. You. Just. Call. Me?”

Peggy’s eyes widened. “Look Tony, I'm sorry, but”

He pointed at the door one last time. Without speaking, Peggy grabbed her bag. When she reached
the door, she stopped in front of it. Without turning around, she whispered, “I love you, Tony. I am
here for you. Rhodey tried being there for you too. We want to help, but you have to let us.”
 Chapter 3
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

The windows were shaking from the bass. The lights were flashing and blinding. Laughter and
voices were loud. Louder than they probably should be. The room smelled of booze, sex, and
nicotine.

There was a cute girl flirting with him, so he went to freshen up in the bathroom. We walked in,
shut the door, turned on the light and there was his father.

“WHAT THE”

Tony jumped… and so did his father.

“What?” Tony had officially had one too many drinks. He’s seeing dead people. “Nope.” He just
closed his eyes and turned off the light. “I'm not dealing with this.” Tony walked straight back out,
into the girl’s arms.

She smiled and fluttered her lashes a few times. “You okay mister?” Tony waved off her worries.
“I'm okay.” He smirked, “But I’ll be more okay if you stay with me.”

Another night somewhere and no idea what’s going on. Another day of not really existing.
Everything just felt so staticy and fake. Tony started avoiding mirrors because all he could see was
his father.

By some miracle, he made it to shop class. Tony couldn't even participate, though. The stainless
steel metal table just reflected-no showed his father’s face. Howard’s hair was a mess. His eyes had
bags that needed to be checked by TSA. His eyes were sunken in. ‘Damn, I need to get some sleep.

‘WAIT’ The realization hit Tony in the face like a bag of bricks. He could no longer ignore the
truth.

It was him.
 Tony walked out of the class and hid under the stairwell. He was in some kind of half-existing but
not-existing state. He could see his hands shake. Tony just curled up under the stairwell.

“I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm in control. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine.”

Time had passed. He didn’t know how much, though. A lot of time, though, it was dark outside
now.

Tony walked back to his dorm room… or meant to. Rhodey’s door was somehow in front of him.

‘Should I even knock? Do I even have the right to ask for help? I kinda did this to myself.’ Tony
started spiraling down and down when a door opened.

The door in front of him.

Rhodey was in pjs pants and a huge MIT sweatshirt. “Tony?”

He just leaned forward, head resting against Rhodey. “I… I think I need help. I...” He took a breath
in and gave a dry chuckle. “I'm like my dad”

Rhodey lead him into the dorm room. “I’ll help as much as I can.”

“Pegs too”

Rhodey smiled. “I'll call her.”

Chapter End Notes

I kinda wished it turned out differently, but I also kinda like it like this.

Please drop by the archive and comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!
Please drop by the archive and comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!