山野笑谭

Chapter 1
The Fox and the Stone Turtle
　　There is a Taoist temple on Yunfeng Mountain dedicated to the Emperor Donghua, and there is a
Taoist priest in the temple whose name is Xiyou.
　　The Taoist priest is called Xiyou, but because of the awkwardness of his name, people still prefer to
call him Daoist.
　　The Taoist priest wakes up every morning, cleans the temple, offers the first incense to the emperor
and then opens the door to receive the visitors. The Taoist temple is not very large and not a famous
temple, so not many people usually come to it.
　　It is only on the winter festival that it comes alive. Every year, the Taoist priests give porridge to the
poor people in the mountain.
　　Although Yunfeng Mountain is only a remote and unknown mountain, and the Taoist temple is not
large, there are many ghosts and monsters in the mountain, which come out to cause trouble when they
have nothing to do. The most cunning of them is a fox that has become an elixir and has a greed for food.
Every year at the winter solstice, he takes on a human form and waits in the queue for alms.
　　When it was his turn, the Taoist priest looked up at the rough porcelain bowl in his hand, then up at
his face, and said in one word: "Get lost."
　　A few moments later, the fox turned into a dainty little lady with flowers in her hair, waiting
patiently in the queue, crying and complaining to the people around her, saying that my mother-in-law
had starved to death, my father-in-law had fallen ill, my husband had run off with his mistress, and I had
left behind three poor children. I was a woman, I couldn't afford to feed myself, so I had to go out of my
way to beg for food.
　　The poor people next to me wiped away their tears and said, "How sad.
　　I did not expect the Taoist priest to say: Oh, shameless indeed.
　　"You Taoist priest, how unsympathetic!" The young daughter-in-law cried, "Look at the slave's
waist, it's so thin from hunger, feel it if you don't believe me."
　　The gossiping crowd gathered around and sucked in their breath.
　　"Yes!" The Taoist priest put down his rice spoon and raised the dragon descending wood in his hand,
"Come over here, aren't you starving and thin? It's swollen from a beating!"
　　The fox scurried out with a whoosh and ran away.
　　When the second pot of rice porridge was cooking, the Taoist priest lifted the lid and fished a stone
out of the porridge.
　　Although the poor people in the mountains did not care about it and said it was good to have
something to eat, they were angry enough to eat while spitting out the stone crumbs and could not help
but complain about which animal had done it.
　　The Taoist priest said, "Oh, which animal could it be?
　　In the evening, the congee was finished. After cleaning up the pot and stove, the Taoist priest went to
the fox's hole at the back of the hill and dragged the fox out and gave it a good beating.
　　Word of the incident soon spread around Yunfeng Mountain. Not far from the entrance to the Taoist
temple was a pair of stone turtles carrying a monument, and when they heard about the incident, they
turned on a mockery of the fox's ordeal: they had earned a beating and gained a whole round of weight, so
they could not lose.
　　The fox was no slouch either, so he wrote a big line on their monument: "The tortoise was tired of
being crushed.
　　The stone tortoise, whose real name was Bi Xi, was at least one of the nine immortal spirits born of
the dragon, so he couldn't stand this and turned into two shepherd boys that night, driving the white waves
up the mountain like sheep, intending to flood the fox's cave.
　　But there was still a Taoist temple on the hill and a dwelling at the bottom. When the Taoist priest
saw that the two of them were going to play off, he hastily took out his bow and arrow and rewarded each
of them with an arrow aimed at the buttocks of the stone tortoise with a mahogany branch. The herd boy
then disappeared along with the waves with a loud bang.
　　Since then, whenever it rained on a cloudy day, two children would run to the pharmacy at the
bottom of the hill and ask for medicine for their arrow wounds, but they would take the medicine and
leave without paying for it, and they could not be stopped or chased.
　　On the 28th day of the lunar month, the water rushes to your house; today it rushes to your father,
and the day after that to your mother.
　　They tried to catch them and beat them up, but the two children ran away in a flash. The two kids ran
away as quickly as they could. The mate had no choice but to treat them as scoundrels, and to put some
medicine in their mouths to get rid of them. However, this was not a long-term solution, and when the
accounts were reconciled at the end of the year, the careful proprietor would surely find them in trouble.
　　The shopkeeper was having a headache when a red-robed customer suddenly arrived in the shop,
handsome, with gold crown and brocade clothes. Hearing the shopkeeper's complaints, this Hu gongzi
said that he had learned some spells and knew where the villain was causing the trouble.
　　"Prepare two packets of chilli noodles, and the next time they come to ask for medicine, give them
the chilli noodles."
　　The shopkeeper did as he was told.
　　Unexpectedly, after the delivery of the chilli noodles, it rained heavily for three days and nights
without stopping. The Taoist priest was standing on Yunfeng Mountain when he saw that the sky was
clear everywhere else, but only the pharmacy at the bottom of the mountain had a dark cloud surrounding
it, and it was raining as carefully as if it were watering flowers.
　　The Taoist priest did not know what to make of it, so he rushed to ask the stone tortoise what kind of
trouble it was in.
　　The stone tortoise said that his buttocks were sore, and the chilli noodles given by the pharmacy man
at the bottom of the hill.
　　The two stone turtles were in a depressed mood and said, "At least we are immortal spirits, but I
didn't expect that the mortals at the bottom of the mountain would not give any face to us. Even if we are
not given medicine, we can't be screwed like this. We want to rain on the pharmacy, and no one will stop
us.
　　The Taoist priest was very annoyed and said, "Who told you not to pay for the medicine!
　　But it was no use just blaming the stone tortoise for this, we had to be beaten fifty times each. The
Taoist priest went down to the pharmacist and asked who had come up with the idea of stuffing the chilli
noodles. The shopkeeper, who was too afraid to leave his house because of the rain, was quick to tell the
Taoist priest about the strange events that had taken place in the past few days.
　　As soon as he heard about the rich gentleman surnamed Hu, the Taoist priest knew who it was.
　　"This provoking thing," the Taoist priest cursed angrily, "see if I don't beat it to death!"
　　But the fox hole was still empty, and after a few turns no one was to be found. The Taoist priest was
wondering if he had absconded when he saw the boy from the Wang family come up the hill, full of
anxiety, and dragged the Taoist priest away, saying that something strange had happened at home.
　　He said that something strange had happened to his family.
　　This morning, when she was enjoying the flowers, she suddenly fainted and when she woke up, she
became a very good eater. She ate five cakes, a chicken and two duck eggs, but she couldn't get enough.
　　When the Taoist priest entered, Miss Qingqing was lying on the table tearing chicken legs, and when
the Taoist priest came in, she immediately jumped up, pointing her finger at the Taoist priest's nose and
cursing, "It's not your porridge you're eating! Mind your own business!"
　　Without saying a word, the Taoist priest went to the lady's boudoir and pulled out a red-furred fox
from under the bed.
　　Grabbing it by the tail and shaking it in the air, the Taoist priest said, "If you don't come back, I'll
skin you!"
　　Miss Qingqing shivered for a moment and came to her senses.
　　The fox smiled sarcastically and twisted around, saying, "Let go of me, fairy, I was just joking with
Miss Qingqing.
　　The Taoist priest did not say a word, but carried the fox back to the mountain upside down and beat
it up in front of the stone tortoise, choking the fox with a handful of chilli noodles in his mouth.
　　Only then did the turtle relent and the rain stopped.
　　One day later, Mr. Wang sent for another Taoist priest, saying that Miss Qingqing had been
possessed again.
　　She had eaten two cakes, half a chicken and wanted to eat fruit.
　　The Taoist priest thought, "This fox is too indebted. But he came to the clerk's mansion in a rage and
stared at Miss Qingqing left and right, but could not see anything.
　　Shyly and coyly, the lady pinched her mung bean cake, nibbling half of it in one bite and swallowing
one in two.
　　The Daoist priest said that it was probably the time when the fox possessed the young lady's appetite
and became ...... Some can eat.
　　The villagers wept, the maids snickered, and the young lady cried as she raced the fried cakes into
her mouth.
　　She begged, said long you have to save me, I eat this way sooner or later fat ball, how can still marry
ah.
　　What can I do? He said, "Why don't you eat a little less and lose some weight?
　　As we left the officer's house, the lady's mournful cries drifted straight to the front door: "If I don't
eat enough, then I' will die.
　　The official's face was full of sorrow, and he held the Taoist priest's sleeve tightly, saying, "I only
have one daughter, Taoist priest, you can't see death and not save it.
　　The Taoist priest said, "You have overestimated me. Your daughter refuses to eat less, so what else
can I do?
　　The official pulled his face down.
　　Every year, half of the porridge and rice donated to the Daoist priest for the winter solstice was
donated by Mr. Wang. As soon as he saw that his breadwinner was not happy, the Taoist priest knew that
he could not afford to offend him, so he quickly changed his tone and said that I would think of another
way.
　　What else could he think of?
　　If the official is unhappy, he can threaten the Taoist priest, and if the Taoist priest is unhappy, he can
go and beat the fox - in the final analysis, it is the goods that the greedy fox broke into.
　　Thinking of this, the Taoist priest was furious, so he blocked the fox's hole, took out the fox and
shook his sandbag-sized fist at its pointed tube mouth, saying, "You come and think of a way to make
things right, or I'll beat you to death."
　　The fox was quite aggrieved, saying that she had been a good eater before, but that she had only
become a better eater since I had possessed her.
　　The Taoist priest began to roll up his sleeves and cackle and squeeze his fists.
　　The fox quickly said, "No, no, no! I'll think of a way!"
　　Thinking and racking his brains. The fox said, "I've got it, find a possessed person who eats small
amounts of food and maybe that will change."
　　"What a stupid idea! Will it work!" The Taoist priest asked.
　　"Let's try it", the fox said, "That's all I have, either you listen to me or you can kill me." Then he
threw himself on the ground and did as he pleased.
　　There was no choice but to beat a dead horse.
　　But who could eat less?
　　The fox suggested the rabbit! No salt, no spices, no meat, no vegetables, just radish and vegetable
leaves, just to relieve the lady's obesity.
　　There happened to be a rabbit spirit in Yunfeng Mountain, only it was timid by nature. When the
Taoist priest came to visit, before he could say anything, he was so frightened that he stomped on all fours
and rolled his eyes.
　　The rabbit shivered and said, "I have never done anything to harm God. I have never even stolen the
vegetables that the villagers planted on the hill.
　　The Taoist priest said kindly, "I know you have always been respectful and gentle. The main reason I
am looking for you this time is to ask you a favour.
　　After describing what had happened to Miss Qingqing, the rabbit rattled his head as he listened.
　　What? Possession? I've never done anything bad like stealing vegetables and gourds in my life, and I
can't even think of doing something as harmful as possessing a body.
　　After much persuasion, the rabbit refused to go.
　　The fox said, "Don't worry, I'll talk to him. Then he took the rabbit in with him and found a quiet
place to talk carefully.
　　A few moments later, the rabbit came back with a bruised nose and a face full of justice, saying, "It
is my duty to assist the Taoist Master to save the people from the fire!"
　　The Taoist priest asked with a cold face, "You volunteered? I don't want to force you."
　　The rabbit choked back a sob and said he was absolutely willing!
　　So they came together to the clerk's house.
　　After the possession, the effect was remarkable. The lady slowly picked up the cucumber from the
dining table and nibbled on it, with the gentle ringing of the rain beating on the banana and the wind
blowing on the emerald bamboo, and in no time she was full and did not feel hungry for half a day.
　　The rabbit completed its task successfully. The lady was very happy and said, "If the rabbit daisy
came to my humble abode every five days to possess me, I would be able to eat without worrying about
gaining weight anymore.
　　She grinned, showing two rabbit teeth and looking adorable.
　　The rabbit twitched her ears and lamented that it seemed that no matter who it was, there would be
some effects after possession.
　　The Taoist priest pretended not to see it and withdrew with the rabbit as quickly as he could.
Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)