4 A's For Managing Defensive Reactions The primary challenge when engaging in high-stakes conversations \s how to respond when someone becomes defensive. Address Your Agree On How Negative A Move a First Forward NS Other's Negative Emotions ‘ > Ask Follow-Up Questions é Cian! EW Tony Gambill OZEADERSHIP4 A's For Managing Defensive Reactions 1) Address Your Negative Emotions First Pausing when you feel a clenched | | jaw. rapid breathing, sinking feeling and feeling hot Revisiting your longer-term result & relationship goals with this situation. é Cearview Tony Gambill4 A's For Managing Defensive Reactions 2) Acknowledge Other's Negative Emotions lt sounds like you're feeling —__— |S NT CORA? Tell me if I've got this straight. & You feel because... . e | e ; 6 \ didn't full understand how you were feeling about —_ 4 until now. I'm grateful you've shared this with me. é Crearvi EW Tony Gambill EADERSHIP4 A's For Managing Defensive Reactions 3) Ask Follow-Up Questions Tell me more. What else are you thinking? g) How does this impact you? Can you give me an example? g P é Cearview Tony Gambill QZEADERSHIP4 A's For Managing Defensive Reactions 4) Agree On How To Move Forward It is mportant to gain agreement about what the person needs from you and what you need from them to move forward with the conversation. SS Let's find a compromise here by esos | agree with part of what you are saying, and SS \ think there may be some common ground between us in this aspect SS Let's agree to include both of our views ina solution Tony Gambill ff Crearview