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Allen Faulton

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A Guide to Conversational Etiquette

Allen Faulton

Allen Faulton

Oct 2, 2019·7 min read

A Modern Survival Guide Interlude

You’re reading the Modern Survival Guide, a guidebook for navigating and interacting with the modern
world. This essay is an interlude, an article that talks about a tip for modern living. This isn’t a
philosophical insight, or a deep discussion of human impulses, or an explanation of some major
phenomenon; it’s just something people might want to know. And frankly, everyone ought to know the
basic rules for conversational etiquette.

That being said, it’s perfectly reasonable if you don’t know them yet. Etiquette isn’t high on our list of
formal educational priorities right now, so it just kind of gets left off for people to figure out on their
own.

We should try to make this easier! I’ve stopped counting the number of things I’ve had to figure out on
my own; it’s way easier for someone else to provide stuff like this in a neat, serviceable package. I’m
here to help.

Make no mistake, being able to maintain etiquette in conversation with your fellow humans is very
much a survival trait. It makes every goal of our serious conversations easier to achieve — making
friends, finding mates, staying connected, finding work, etc. It’s often not what you know, it’s who you
know that gets you ahead in life. Who you know is usually determined by who you talk to. What they
can do for you is often determined by the degree to which you have avoided pissing them off.
Remember: politeness costs you nothing and can buy as much as your life.

There are a handful of things to keep in mind if you want to have a polite conversation. If you don’t want
to have a polite conversation, that’s OK, but there are situations in life where you should definitely have
polite conversations. First dates, job interviews (insofar as those two things are different), chats with
your priest, conversations with your boss, talking to people you respect… stuff like that.

With that in mind, here are some rules to follow to keep your conversations within the bounds of proper
etiquette:
Don’t Interrupt

I put this one first, because one of the most annoyingly rude things you can do is to interrupt people
while they’re talking — especially with verbal tics.¹ It signals a total lack of respect for their opinion
and/or their reason for speaking, which equates to a lack of respect for them. Lack of respect is typically
returned with interest. So don’t interrupt if you can help it.

Listen When Other People Speak

This seems simple. It is not. Active listening is a skill, and it’s a skill you should learn and practice. The
difference between active listening and normal listening is simple, obvious, and yet very difficult for
many people: when you are actively listening to someone else you are not thinking about what you are
going to say next. You are simply absorbing their message. It’s important to note that this is often
immediately obvious to the person who is speaking, and is usually interpreted in a very complimentary
fashion.

Practice the Queen’s Rules

I know it’s hard in this modern age of “oh my God the world is on fire,” “let’s talk about sex, baby,” and
“share your salaries for labor equality,” but… try to avoid talking about politics, sex, or money in polite
conversation. This is a good way to start a fight, make people uncomfortable, or simply make people
dislike you. You should also be aware that once one person in a group violates the Queen’s Rules, the
floodgates are open — these topics are now on the table and you may not like what comes from that.

Think Before You Talk

It is better to spend a few moments in consideration before you open your mouth, rather than opening
your mouth and immediately inserting your foot. Some things that might cross your mind:

Is the other party sensitive to a topic you are about to introduce? It might not be a good idea to discuss
your work problems with your unemployed friend, or chat about your awesome Tough Mudder
marathon with a friend who has a history of depression and severe back pain. Try to tailor the
conversation to the individuals present.²

Do the other parties in the conversation have enough knowledge to talk comfortably about the subject
you want to talk about? It’s best not to choose topics that deliberately exclude people due to lack of
knowledge.

Are you adding unnecessarily detail or embarrassing bits to a story? Don’t waste people’s time or make
them uncomfortable for no reason.

Are you exaggerating or one-upping? Not every story has to be the greatest story ever; not every
description has to include Trumpian adjectives.

Be Tactful

There’s a difference between being untruthful and not being hurtful. Learn it: lying is the act of voicing
an untruth, whereas being tactful is the art of not drawing attention to other people’s problems. Avoid
saying things like “you look sick” or “you look tired,” especially to women. Try not to draw public
attention to things like clothing stains or other potentially embarrassing situations.
Bring Topics to the Conversation

It’s never a bad idea to have a small stock of conversational topics ready to go. That being said, small
talk is boring. Don’t talk about the weather unless you’ve got absolutely nothing else to say. Remember
your audience, remember the other rules on this list, and then figure out some topics you can raise to
get people talking without creating issues.³

Be Considerate

Make sure to include quiet people. Asking “What do you think?” is a perfectly good way to help others
feel included and valued. It’s also sometimes necessary to change subjects to keep the peace (especially
if someone violates the Queen’s Rules and people are visibly uncomfortable). Last but not least, if
someone else gets cut off, it is polite to steer things back their way and let them finish their thought.

Learn When to Stop Talking

Don’t try to dominate a conversation. Don’t try to hijack other people’s topics. Sometimes the best thing
to do is to say your piece and then be quiet. And sometimes the best thing you can do is to let the
conversation end.

Incorporate Respect

In any formal setting, remember to use “sir” or “ma’am” as appropriate. Remember to say “please” and
“thank you” when asking for or receiving things. And if someone has a title which is appropriate for the
situation, use it. When in doubt, be polite.

Practicing Etiquette

You may have noticed that some of these entries were less instructional advice and more in the flavor of
“go out and learn how to do these things.” That’s because conversational etiquette can only be taught
up to a point — after that it must be practiced. Fortunately, we live in a world with a lot of people upon
whom we can practice the conversational arts.

Practice makes perfect, so here are some drills you can try:

Get in an elevator with another person. By the end of the ride, see if you can get them to smile as a
result of a quick conversation. You may not talk about the weather or the local sports teams.

The next time you’re in a group of friends, say as little as possible. Just watch and listen. Pay attention to
who is dominating the conversation, who else is being quiet, and what is being discussed. Then try to
figure out why one person is dominating the conversation, and why another person is quiet. Pay
particular attention to people who speak up after periods of silence.

The next time you’re with a group of friends, try to steer a conversation to deliberately include different
people in the group. But try to do it so subtly that no one notices.

Go a full day deliberately incorporating respect into your speech. Use “sir” or “ma’am” every time you
talk to someone. Say “please” and “thank you” every time you ask for something.

Try to go an entire day without interrupting another human being. That’s a hard sell for a lot of people.
Last but not least, try to go an entire day deliberately focusing on what every other person you meet has
to say — and how they say it.

Practicing conversational etiquette is how you get good at it, and being good at conversational etiquette
is a very good way to maintain friendly relations with your fellow human beings. Being a good
conversationalist usually isn’t sufficient to get you anywhere. But it is necessary for an awful lot of life
situations.

¹Verbal tics are involuntary exclamations such as “uh huh,” “eh,” “like,” “mmhmm,” and the worst one
of them all — “uhhh.” We should all strive to remove verbal tics from our speech in general.

²I’m sure that at this point, some folks are muttering things about “snowflakes” and how people need to
toughen up. As per normal in this series, my mantra is simple: don’t be an asshole. Part of being a
functional adult human is not being an asshole on a regular basis. Showing zero disregard for the
feelings of others makes you an asshole and disqualifies you from being an adult. Don’t be an asshole.
Be an adult.

³Personally I’ve always found that science journals are a rich source of material. It can be fun for many
people to talk about new gadgets and new developments.

Life Lessons

Self Improvement

Personal Growth

Personal Development

Etiquette

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[07/11, 20:10] Pomary Jacob: What are the manners and etiquette while talking to someone?

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7 Answers

Profile photo for Sarvesh Jain

Sarvesh Jain

, PhD, Published 3 Books, World Record Holder.

Answered Jun 1, 2018

There are basic manners which one should remember while talking..

Let the other person speak first.

Let the other person complete his talking first, you may wait 3 seconds after he stopped speaking. This is
something followed by customer care executives.

Greet them before you start speaking.

You may say thank you after you complete speaking.

If they're asking you a question, you should revert them with appropriate answer. Not just one syllable.

Don't be loud when you speak.

Smile when you speak.

Don't use your phone when you talk to someone.

Don't see your watch repeatedly.

Don't talk with food in your mouth.

I think if anyone follows this basic information, the world would be a better place.

2.5K viewsView 4 upvotesView 1 share

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Saiteja Palika

, former Trying to Become an Engineer

Answered May 29, 2018

Originally Answered: What are the basic manners to show when talking to others?

Never cut the conversation with in the middle. If you have some urgent work, then say them in a very
polite manner.

Look towards the person with whom you are talking to. Don't see here and there.

Your body should face towards that person.

Don't spit while talking. ( This really makes someone to hate you)

Don't forcibly try to discuss their personal issues and family matters, until and unless they start
discussing by their own.

Don't always try to discuss about your success stories.

Always talk about the topics in which both of you are interested in.

Don't open the list of your day to days problems.

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Umesh Chaudhary

, Senior HR Professional (2017-present)

Answered Jun 18, 2018

There are many... But following five are important.

Ensure proper eye contact at all times during conversation.

While speaking to a female, maintain a distance of two feet.

Speak in the same language in which question is asked

Listen properly and if you want to speak don’t just jump to speak; just wait for the other person to finish

During gossip; don’t talk negative about someone else you will become like one.

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Related Questions (More Answers Below)

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Profile photo for Ratnak Kaustubh

Ratnak Kaustubh

, B.E. from Padmabhushan Vasantdada Patil Prathisthan's College of Engineering (2017)

Answered Jun 9, 2018

Look at them in their eye or face.

During you listening look in their eye, when you are doing talking may be you might look here and there
this happens to me.

Your body must be directed towards the person you are speaking.

If group then directed your body at the line of center.

Be how you are, some people might not like you, that does not mean you must change.

Talk less i would say else people would think you are dumb.
Give others to speak as well.

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Profile photo for Raja Jitendra

Raja Jitendra

, works at Samsung R&D Institute - Bangalore

Answered May 29, 2018

Originally Answered: What are the basic manners to show when talking to others?

First and foremost, I would say, listen to others. A good speaker is a good listener.

More manners as:

Look straight, making eye contact.

Avoid staring (at him/her and at others)

Make sure no accidental saliva spills

Try not to change the topic abrubtly

End the conversation with a thanking note

374 viewsView 1 upvote

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Profile photo for Amadej Kristjan Kocbek

Amadej Kristjan Kocbek

, studied at University of Oxford

Answered Apr 17, 2018

This depends highly on who you talk to and on the particular occasion and many other things. In fact, it
depends on which country or culture the person you are talking to is from, what gender they are,
whether you are their boss or their employee or their friend, whether it’s your first time meeting or
seeing them for the 1000th time etc.

There are however, some very basic no-brainers which will hold in 95% of scenarios like not cursing a lot
when you meet someone new or in a formal setting, not hitting them in the face or being overly touchy
and things of this sort that I won’t bother discussi

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Pamela Lea

, Chief Director at Life and Living (1958-present)

Answered Apr 17, 2018

“How about some pussy?” Ooooo. Some background. I was working at a college and had an apartment
situated within one of the residence halls. Within this “How about some pussy?” Ooooo. Some
background. I was working at a college and had an apartment situated within one of the residence halls.
The building was 75% female but did contain the suite used by a colleague’s fraternity. Their members
lived on that floor. My colleague was there often. The back door of may apartment led to a hallway
behind a controlled entrance to the building. So, in theory, anyone that knocked at that door would be
some

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Related Questions & Answers

How do I learn the etiquette and manners of talking to someone?

Profile photo for Susan Williams

Susan Williams

, Managing Editor (2018-present)

Answered Jan 13, 2019

There used to be a woman who wrote a column in a Washington DC newspaper, and she called herself
Miss Manners. I met her once and had the pleasure of speaking to her for a while. Her column was
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What are some good manners when talking to someone when taking a lift from someone?

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Jack Daniels

, former Clown (1914-1945)

Answered Oct 7, 2017

Before: * Make sure they understand how far the destination is, you don’t want it to seem like it’s a 2
min drive while it is a 5 hour one. * Give them a way out if they offered before finding out the distance,
like “I do know other people in case it is too far”. People who know you and care won’t make us…

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What are some texting etiquette people should know?

Profile photo for Ahsan Jawad

Ahsan Jawad

, former Intern at CARE Hospital,Banjara Hills,Hyderabad

Answered May 27, 2018

Originally Answered: What are the rules of texting?

Every time someone commits a typo, I look down at the keyboard to see how close the incorrect letter is
to the letter that is supposed to be there and to see if it is socially acceptable to misspell that word. So
avoid making lame af typos. I figured out my friend is probably gay.…

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What's the difference between etiquette and manners?

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Kimber Wiggs

, Recent College Graduate

Answered Jun 2, 2010

These two words are closely related but have slightly different meanings. "Etiquette" is a code of
behavior, while "manners" refer to the behaviors themselves. In terms of usage, one who understands
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How do you respond when someone talks down to you?

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The etiquette of making conversation

Debra Barrett, Michigan State University Extension - March 22, 2021

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Using good manners is still a part of our culture. Here are some tips for making conversation using good
manners.

People sitting around a table smiling.

Michigan State University Extension frequently fosters communication skills amongst 4-H members and
volunteers. Good manners are important elements of communicating effectively. They are important to
everyday interactions as well as maintaining a positive work environment. In an article from
Northeastern University, “When it comes to working in an office or other professional setting, etiquette
matters. How you present yourself and interact with those around you—whether your coworkers,
supervisors, or direct reports—speaks to who you are as a person and as a member of the team, and can
directly influence the trajectory of your career.”
Using good manners puts others before you and is a sign of respect and courtesy. Etiquette implies
polite behavior and can help build relationships with people, whether it is applied in the workplace or at
a social gathering. As some work environments move towards more informal workspaces and open
space, good manners become more important to building teamwork and positive communications
amongst coworkers. Here are some tips to making conversations using good manners:

Make “please” and “thank you” part of your daily conversation.

When someone says, “Thank you,” say “you’re welcome” in response.

Avoid awkward words such as um, huh, hmm, nah and yeah. Instead, pause and think before speaking.

Keep your tone of voice pleasant.

Take care with “friendly put-downs” that actually tend to hurt and are not really funny like you intend,
i.e. “shut up” or “so what.”

Break the ice by asking questions such as, “Where are you from?” or “What are your hobbies?”

Take turns talking and avoid telling long stories or sharing too many details.

If you are on a cell phone in a public place, find a quiet place you can continue the conversation or keep
your voice down so that the entire area does not have to hear your conversation.

When leaving a message on an answering machine or voicemail, speak clearly; always indicate your
name, who you are calling for and why you are calling.

Be a good listener by nodding your head and making eye contact.

Comment on what the other person has said.

Do not interrupt while someone else is talking.

Depending on the generation you are communicating with, consider not emailing, texting or talking on
electronic devices while conversing with someone. For many, this is interpreted as disrespectful.

Putting these tips into practice will enhance new conversations and strengthen relationships with friends
and coworkers.

Michigan State University Extension and Michigan 4-H Youth Development helps to prepare young
people for successful futures. For more information or resources on career exploration, workforce
preparation, financial education, or youth entrepreneurship, email us at 4-HCareerPrep@anr.msu.edu.

This article was published by Michigan State University Extension. For more information, visit
https://extension.msu.edu. To have a digest of information delivered straight to your email inbox, visit
https://extension.msu.edu/newsletters. To contact an expert in your area, visit
https://extension.msu.edu/experts, or call 888-MSUE4MI (888-678-3464).

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[08/11, 04:30] Pomary Jacob: Skip to content

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Free Download: The Good Manners Chart

Good Manners Chart (Manners & Etiquette for Kids)

Gift Etiquette / By Daniel

Last Updated on August 15, 2019

We have a fantastic Good Manners Chart for you! Free download/printable. Scroll down for more!

You’ve seen it. Those kids who are glued to a phone and don’t even look up when their parents
introduce them to you. Kids who don’t know how to shake a hand, kids who boss their parents around in
the store, kids who put up a stink when they don’t get their way. Kids whose first language is sarcasm
(with a minor in four-letter words), yet don’t have categories for “please,” “thank you,” or “excuse me.”

These children need to learn good manners, proper etiquette, and basic kindness towards others.

Kids these days. *Shakes head.*

The thing I didn’t expect, though, was that these would be my kids.

Yep. Don’t get me wrong, we taught our kids to say “please” and “thank you.” Except it didn’t stick.

We taught our kids that interrupting, yelling, and fighting is wrong. They still did it.
At the table, we emphasized serving others first, chewing with your mouth closed, and sitting straight.
But they didn’t.

The reality is that teaching good manners to kids is hard. It’s not simply a matter of telling them to do
certain things and not do other things; you have to train them. As parents, I don’t think we understood
that right away (we had to be trained ourselves, haha).

Training involves repetition. How many times does a gymnast stretch? How many miles are run, day
after day, before a track meet victory? How many stitches go into a quilt, how many hours at the batting
cage before the game-winning home run, how many years of study and practice before a successful
surgery?

The answer: lots. And lots. And lots.

And our kids are getting it. They’re not perfect, but they are improving. They can speak to adults, answer
questions, say please and thank you, respectfully sit through church and small groups, help with the
dishes, and earn high marks for classroom behavior.

So don’t be discouraged when your kids don’t turn into little angels the first time you go over the good
manners chart. It will take time, practice, explanation, repetition, more repetition, more repetition,
more explanation, more practice, and even more time. Then you’ll just cycle through and do it all again.

But you’ll get there! There’s a reason children don’t grow up overnight. Raising kids and teaching them
proper behavior takes time. But the results will be well worth it.

Outline

One helpful step along the way is to use a “good manners chart” to teach your kids the basics. Here’s
what we have in store for you in this article.

The Good Manners Chart

Free Download: The Good Manners Chart

Manners & Etiquette for Kids

Good Manners Definition

10 Basic Good Manners for Kids

Table Manners for Kids

Manners at School

Cell Phone/Electronics Etiquette

10 Bad Manners to Avoid

The Good Manners Chart

So let’s just get right to it. Here is the good manners chart, which details 10 basic manners and the
reasons why they are important, plus 10 table manners and 10 manners to practice at school.

Read further to get a free download/printable version (which has much nicer formatting). Also keep
reading for explanation of the hows and whys so you can be prepared to teach your kids these must-
know manners.

BASIC MANNERS REASON

Say “please” whenever you ask for anything Shows respect to the person you are talking to

Say “thank you” whenever you are given anything Shows gratitude to the person who gave you
something

Respond to people when they speak to you Shows that you hear and value their thoughts

Do not interrupt; wait for others to finish speaking Shows that what the other person has to say is
important

If you’re unsure if you can do something, ask permissionShows respect for other people’s property,
homes, toys, and rules

Cover your mouth when you cough, sneeze, or yawn Helps prevent germs from spreading, helps
conceal your body functions

Keep negative opinions to yourself Helps avoid hurting the feelings of others, keeps you from being
a “downer” or poor influence

Do not make fun of others or use crude language Shows respect for other people by not insulting
or offending them

Knock (and wait for a response) before entering Shows respect for the privacy of others
Help others whenever you can Shows that you care for others, builds friendships, and often teaches
you new things

TABLE MANNERS MANNERS AT SCHOOL

Wash your hands before eating Listen to and obey your teacher and other adults

Put away phones and electronics Be kind to everyone, not just your friends

Sit up straight Wait your turn

Place your napkin in your lap and use it Say “excuse me” if you bump into someone

Chew with your mouth closed Raise your hand before you speak

Don’t reach across the table Keep your desk and work areas clean and organized

Don’t ask for dessert Keep supply areas tidy; restock supplies when they run out; tell the teacher if
something is missing or broken

Ask to be excused Don’t whisper, pass notes, or cause distraction in class

Take over your plate and clean up after yourself Do your homework promptly and turn it in on time

Ask how you can help clean up Don’t brag about your own accomplishments or make fun of another
person’s work

Free Download: The Good Manners Chart

Everything in The Good Manners Chart is explained in detail in the article below. If you skim the article
and think “ugh, TL;DR” then just grab this good manners chart, print it out, and start working through it
with your kids.

Image - Good Manners & Etiquette for Kids

AVAILABLE HERE

(Click the “available here” button above to get the PDF, which you can print, download, and/or save to
your computer for future reference.)

In the good manners chart we detail some of the most important basic manners, plus table manners and
manners at school.

In the article below you’ll find deeper insight on each manner and why it is important in how you treat
others. We also have sections on cell phone (e.g. electronics) etiquette and a list of bad manners to
avoid. All this will help you find creative ways to teach manners, along with the reasons why we practice
good manners: It comes down to to showing love and respect to others.

Manners & Etiquette for Kids

Good Manners Definition

Good manners means

polite behavior that shows other people respect, courtesy, and kindness.

A good definition of manners for kids is knowing how to treat people well at all times.

10 Basic Good Manners for Kids

Say “please” whenever you ask for anything

Say “thank you” whenever you are given anything

Respond to people when they speak to you

Do not interrupt; wait for others to finish speaking

If you’re unsure if you can do something, ask permission

Cover your mouth when you cough, sneeze, or yawn

Keep negative opinions to yourself

Do not make fun of others or use crude language

Knock (and wait for a response) before entering

Help others whenever you can

See the Good Manners Chart download for simple, basic reasons why these manners matter. When you
can clearly and simply show why manners are important, it helps kids to understand and take ownership
of their behavior.

Table Manners for Kids

Good Manners Chart: Manners & Etiquette for Kids

1. Wash Hands Before Eating

Everyone’s hands get dirty throughout the day. The last thing you want to do is bring dirt, grime, and
germs to a place where people will be eating – yourself included!

Since the quickest way to get sick is by putting germy, icky stuff into your mouth, you are treating
yourself and others with kindness when you wash your hands before a meal.

Example

Go to the nearest bathroom (often the kitchen sink will be in use by the cook or at least by dirty dishes)
and wash your hands for 15-30 seconds using hand soap. Dry off well and then come promptly to the
dinner table.

2. Put away phones and electronics

At mealtimes, you should silence and put away all electronic devices. And because phones still buzz and
vibrate when silenced, it is ideal to place cell phones and other devices away from the table.

If you are in your own home, set up a location to put devices. If you are a guest, you can put your phone
in your pocket but it may be better to put it in a jacket pocket or purse hung up on a coat rack.

When our family goes anywhere my children almost always bring a little backpack or handbag with
notebooks, crafts, and small toys. This would be a good location for electronic devices. Personally, we
don’t allow our kids to bring any sort of electronics to other people’s homes.

Exceptions are when you are expecting a call, or when parents have requested that the child be
available to contact. If this is the case, tell the adults at the table that you are expecting a call and then
excuse yourself from the table when it comes.

Example
“I’m sorry my phone is ringing, I’ll put it on silent. Do you have a place I could put this out-of-the-way?”

“My parents are going to call around 5:30, so please excuse me if I answer the phone.” [When call
comes, say “excuse me” and go away from the table to talk]

Cell phones and other electronics have become a major part of our lives, so we will have a more
complete section on cell phone etiquette later on as well. See below.

3. Sit up straight

Sitting up straight in your chair looks better than slouching. When you sit up, not only do you put on a
better and more attractive appearance, but you also show interest in what is happening around you. You
are ready to partake of the food and the conversation.

In contrast, a slouching person seems tired, sad, uninterested and uninteresting. When you are bent
over in your seat, you communicate to those around you that the food is unappetizing and your fellow
diners and boring. So show respect and kindness to the person who prepared the meal and to the rest of
the family by sitting up straight.

This is also the same reason you should not put your elbows on the table.

4. Place Your Napkin In Your Lap and Use It

When you place your napkin in your lap, it helps to catch any crumbs that may fall into your lap. It is also
out-of-the-way from all the food on the table, and easy for you to grab and use if needed.

And you probably will need it. That’s perfectly fine; it’s better to use your napkin than have a food-
stained chin or cheek. To use, gently dab wherever needed. Dabbing (no, not that kind!) is a more
genteel and sophisticated movement than wiping. You should avoid wiping across your face.

5. Chew with your mouth closed

No one wants to see your food as it is being chewed. Keep you mouth closed when eating. This will also
help you make less “smacking” sounds when chewing your food.

6. Don’t reach across the table

When you reach across the table, it makes you appear greedy, needy, and impatient. Plus you run the
risk of knocking things over, spilling, draping your clothing into food, or dropping hairs and crumbs onto
the table. So never reach across the table.

Instead, politely ask for things to be passed to you.

Example

“Elijah, could you please pass the ketchup?”

7. Don’t Ask for Dessert

Dessert is my favorite part of the meal, too! But don’t worry – if there is dessert, it will be offered at the
appropriate time.

8. Ask to be Excused

It is impolite to simply get up and walk away from the table. Instead, ask your parents if you can be
excused from the table.

If they say no, stay around and learn to enjoy talking with the rest of the family.

Example
“Mom, may I please be excused from the table?”

9. Take Over Your Plate

You used the plate, and you made it dirty. The very least you can do to help those responsible for
cleaning up is to take the plate into the kitchen.

If you are in someone else’s home, ask where to put your plate. By doing so, you show respect to those
who prepared and those who clean up after the meal by being willing to help out, even in this small way.
It is a very polite gesture.

10. Ask How You Can Help with Cleanup

Again, since you got to eat because of all the cooking mess that was made, it is polite to offer to help
clean up afterwards.

Don’t say “Do I have to help with anything?” That makes it sound like a chore and a burden. Instead, say,
“How can I help clean up?” Saying it this way shows that you are truly grateful for the meal, and are
willing to show your thankfulness by helping.

Example

“Thank you for dinner, Mom! How can I help clean up?”

“Thank you for the delicious lasagna, Mr. Stewart. Can I help clean the kitchen?”

Manners at School

1. Listen to your teacher (and other adults)

The teacher, helpers, secretaries, lunch servers, and other adults at the school are there to help you
learn and grow as person. They care for you, and are in charge for a reason. So show respect and
kindness to your teacher and other adults in authority over you by listening to them.

Listen to them respectfully, answer when spoken to, and then make sure you do what they say. This is
not only good manners but also the best way to get learn while you are at school.

2. Be kind to everyone, not just your friends

It’s tempting to just hang out with your friends. You like them, you talk to them, you have inside jokes
and clubs and secret handshakes, all that fun stuff.

While there is nothing wrong with having close friends, it is still impolite to purposefully exclude others,
turn your back on them, whisper in front of others, and ignore the other kids. When you do these things
it shows that you like certain people and not others. It’s a form of favoritism, and it’s rude.

Instead, go out of your way to show kindness to everyone. Include other children in your games and
clubs. Invite the new kid to sit by you at lunch or to do a project with you. Who knows, maybe you’ll
make a new friend!

3. Wait your turn

It is very rude and impolite to cut in front of others. The other people in line or who raised their hand
first have been waiting longer than you. It won’t hurt you any to wait for a few minutes, and it shows
that the others who are in line are just as important as anyone else. Waiting your turn is a way to show
respect to your classmates and help promote order for your teacher and the other adults.

4. Say “excuse me” if you bump into someone

School can be a busy place. There’s people everywhere, lots of classmates buzzing around your
classroom, halls and assemblies and lunch lines. Do your best to avoid bumping into people by paying
attention and keeping your hands to yourself. Don’t swing your arms around or break dance in a busy
hallway, and respect the rules for hallways, lunch lines, and other areas.
If you do accidentally touch or bump into someone, look at them and say “excuse me.” If you knock
someone over, be sure to apologize and help them up.

5. Raise your hand before you speak

In a room full of students, this is the best way to make sure you do not interrupt others and wait your
turn. The teacher can’t call on every student every time, and it is not fair for one student to shout out all
the answers or try to take over the topic of conversation.

So you are helping maintain order and respecting the other students (as well as the teacher) when you
raise your hand and wait to be called upon before speaking.

6. Keep your area clean and organized

When you keep your area clean and organized, you are practicing self-control. You will be able to do
many good things (and avoid many bad things) if you can learn self-control.

Additionally, when you keep a tidy desk, table, cubby, shelf, or drawer, you show kindness to your
teacher and the other students by helping keep the classroom clean and looking good.

7. Tidy & restock supply areas

This is a way that you can be helpful and considerate towards others. When you keep the supply areas
clean, tidy, and organized, you help the other students in completing their projects. And when you
restock things that run out and don’t make a mess, you help the teacher avoid one more of their many
tasks and responsibilities.

8. Don’t cause distractions in class

This means don’t whisper or pass notes while instruction is happening; don’t draw attention to yourself
unless you are asking a question or in need help; refrain from humming or tapping during tests or
reading time; don’t talk to your friends when others are working on a project.
9. Do Your homework on time

If you are assigned homework, make sure that you work on it right away at home so that you are able to
turn it in on time. Tell your parents when you have work to do or homework due, and ask them for a
quiet space and/or help if you need it.

It’s very important that you return your homework to your teacher when it is due. This will help you
with learning what you need to learn, and it is also good manners because it helps your teacher to
review and grade it on schedule.

10. Don’t Brag or Mock

It is impolite to always focus attention on yourself. Don’t brag; meaning, don’t tell the whole class every
time you ace a test, get top marks, or otherwise succeed at something. This goes back to point #8,
“Don’t Cause Distractions.” When you do this, you are showing honor to yourself rather than trying to
respect others.

Instead, focus attention on others. Praise when they do well, encourage them when they are having
difficulty, and help them when needed.

On the flip side, don’t make fun of or “mock” the work of your classmates. Perhaps you are very good at
art and another student is not, or maybe you are a fast reader and another student is still learning their
letters. Or maybe you just feel like another child is a dweeb. Whatever the reason, if you make fun of
the way someone else looks, acts, or talks then you are not showing them kindness and respect.

Cell Phone Etiquette (Applies to all electronics)

When a visitor comes to your home, put away your device, stand up, and greet them. This is a polite
gesture of respect to any visitor, even if the visitor is only there to talk to the parents

Put all electronics away at the dinner table

Don’t use devices in a library, church, at a restaurant table, or in a theater

Put away your device when it is time to socialize and speak with others

Do not text during a meeting or class

When someone speaks to you, immediately put down your device and respond to them. If you are in the
middle of something urgent, you may say, “Please excuse me a moment while I finish this.” Finish, then
put the devise away and talk

10 Bad Manners to Avoid

Here are some examples of bad manners that you should avoid. For parents, this list can actually be a
surprisingly effective teaching tool (in moderation).

Set aside a few times where you teach proper manners by modeling (or having your kids model) these
poor behaviors. They will have a blast pretending to be bad, and in doing so will learn what is
appropriate and what is inappropriate.

Poor table manners: Talking with your mouth full, chewing with your mouth open, reaching across
everyone, putting elbows on the table, making a mess

Using foul language: Four-letter words, body function jokes, religious exclamations

Insulting others: Name-calling, teasing, making fun of people for how they look or act, treating people
poorly because they are different from you

Being negative: Whining, complaining, expressing frustration, pouting, saying “I hate this,” or “I’m
bored,” giving “the silent treatment”

Being inconsiderate: Making everyone always play what you want, cutting in line, making a mess
without cleaning it up

Interrupting: Talking over other people, speaking while others are talking, changing the subject when
others are having a conversation, talking at a theater or in class

Silence: Not saying anything when someone gives you something or tries to talk with you

Yelling: Trying to talk to someone through a door or in another room, screaming when you are angry,
throwing a tantrum when you don’t get your way

Disobeying: Ignoring the instruction of your parents, teachers, coaches, or others; not following rules
and laws; simply not paying attention and then forgetting what your parents or others ask you to do

Leaving a mess: Getting out food, crafts, or toys without putting them away, leaving doors and
cupboards open, running through the house with muddy shoes

Download the Good Manners Chart

I hope this article has been helpful! Going through this has certainly been helpful in our home. If you
haven’t already, you can download The Good Manners Chart here:
Image - Good Manners & Etiquette for Kids

AVAILABLE HERE

(Click the “available here” button above to get the PDF, which you can print, download, and/or save to
your computer for future reference.)

Bookmark (or Pin) this page as a reference for more explanation beyond what can be included in the
single-page printable. It’s important to review!

Also, check out some of our further resources on good manners and etiquette:

Birthday Party Etiquette for Kids

Gift Giving Etiquette: 15 Simple Rules to Make Your Gift Stand Out

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Save this resource to your family/parenting Pinterest boards!

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SHEILS BURRIS

SEPTEMBER 8, 2020 AT 1:44 PM

I found everything I needed for my classroom on this site. Thanks.

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8 Rules Of Proper Movie Theatre Etiquette

Posted By BoomersPlus Editorin Lifestyle

8 Rules Of Proper Movie Theatre Etiquette

What bad movie theatre behaviour bugs you the most?

When work or other responsibilities are stressing you out, sometimes it’s nice just to escape to a dark
theatre and get lost in a good movie. We’ve already looked the joy of going to the movies solo and why
it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. But believe it or not, there are rules to being a respectful movie-
goer. You’re not the only one there to enjoy the experience after all. Check out all you need to know
about proper movie theatre etiquette.
Be punctual.

You might think it’s up to you what time you show up for a movie. But as soon as the lights dim and the
screen lights up, a late arrival can be really distracting and annoying. Get there a few minutes ahead of
time to get your concession snacks, find a good seat and settle in before it starts.

Respect personal space.

A packed theatre can be uncomfortable, but you still need to be aware of those sitting around you.
Don’t steal the armrest of the person next to you. Don’t stretch your legs into your neighbour’s area.
And keep your feet off the seats in front of you. Stick to your own space.

Enjoy theatre appropriate food.

Some people would rather avoid the normal concession food. But if you’re bringing your own food be
sure it’s something appropriate for the environment. Popcorn has a welcoming smell and isn’t too eat –
an ideal theatre snack. Other choices need to take those factors into account. Nothing too smelly,
nothing that’s going to make a racket and nothing overly messy.

Easy on the seat saving.

Saving a seat for your friends while they’re in the bathroom is fine. But having one person block off an
entire row is not fine. If you can’t all get there at the same time you might just have to sit separately or
miss out on the prime seats. Not ideal but fair.

Turn that phone off.

Not on vibrate. Not on silent. Turn it completely off! Avoid the temptation to check that phone in the
middle of the movie. In a dark theatre, those screens can be very bright. If you can’t go that long without
checking your phone then maybe going to the movies isn’t for you.
And no talking.

Going to the movies alone is fun. It’s fun to go with friends as well. Sharing your thoughts on the movie
you just watched is part of that fun. But wait until the movie is over. You might think you’re whispering
but it can still be awfully annoying to others.

Deal with rule-breakers respectfully.

Now there may be others who are breaking some of these rules of etiquette. If they are ruining your
movie-going experience, then you have a right to confront them. But there’s no reason to be impolite or
angry about it. Respectfully ask them to address the disruptive behaviour and you’re more likely to find
them apologetic and responsive.

No spoilers!

It can be very tempting to start talking about the movie as soon as it’s over. Fight that temptation until
you’re out of the theatre. There are likely people about to go see the same movie. They don’t want to
overhear how the movie ends.

Respect and common sense is really all that’s needed to ensure everyone has a nice movie-going
experience.

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Tag: boomers, boomersplus, going to the movies, lifestyle, movie theatre, movies

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RD.COM Knowledge Etiquette

12 Rules of Movie Theater Etiquette That Everyone Should Follow

Rudie ObiasRudie Obias

Updated: Mar. 21, 2020

Keep these courteous habits in mind when you attend a movie, and you'll be sure to have an enjoyable
and hassle-free experience. Don't forget the popcorn!

WatchAFRICA STUDIO/SHUTTERSTOCK

Arrive on time

Showing up on time for anything is just common courtesy for everyone around you—and the movie
theater is no different. Luckily for people who are habitually late, most theaters list their showtimes for
when the commercials and trailers begin—up to 20 minutes before the actual feature film starts. This
gives you plenty of time to arrive to the auditorium, find your seats, and grab concessions without
missing any of the movie—or annoy everyone by walking in after the lights go down. If you’re going to a
very popular film and you know it’s going to be full of people, show up about 20 minutes before
showtime to find the best seat in the house.

chairJOHNAREHART/SHUTTERSTOCK

Sharing the armrest

When an auditorium is full of patrons, it’s tough to declare ownership on an armrest and cup holder
when you’re sharing it with a complete stranger. Diane Gottsman, a national etiquette expert and
founder of The Protocol School of Texas, told Reader’s Digest: “Watch the body language of the guest
next to you. There is not a right or wrong way, you just don’t want to take over both sides.” If someone
is using the armrest, sharing will be tricky. But if your neighbor removes his or her arm for more than a
few minutes, you can claim it for yourself for as long as you’re comfortable. Learn the 13 secrets that
movie theater employees won’t tell you.

lineAMYJOHANSSON/SHUTTERSTOCK

Don’t hold up the line

Since most theaters show a number of films that start at different times, understand that although you
may have plenty of time to peruse the snack bar offerings, the person behind you may have 30 seconds
or less. Try to make your snack decisions before you reach the front of the line, and have your cash or
card ready. This way, everyone gets to where they want to go on time. One of the best parts of theaters
is that they usually serve the same items at all times: soda, candy like Junior Mints and Sour Patch Kids,
and popcorn, so it’s easy to make quick decisions.

3d-glassesTYLEROLSON/SHUTTERSTOCK

3D glasses

While 3D glasses often come wrapped in plastic, it doesn’t mean they’re completely clean. Most
theaters just take a used pair and seal them in plastic, and re-use them for the next customer, instead of
using brand-new disposable ones. Consider bringing a small alcohol pad to disinfect a pair of 3D glasses.
If you don’t have an alcohol pad, you can simply go to the nearest restroom and clean the 3D glasses
with soap and water.

theaterSTOCK ASSO/SHUTTERSTOCK

Saving seats

One of the most stressful things about going to the movies on a busy Friday night is the possibility of
saving a few seats for friends and family. While you are allowed to save a seat, it’s rude to save a whole
row in a good spot. “To make sure you get a good seat at a popular show, you will have to get there in
enough time to pick a prime spot,” says Gottsman, who is also the author of Modern Etiquette for a
Better Life. “Avoid saving a row for people who may or may not show up, or don’t have the courtesy to
get there on time. Those who are prompt should be rewarded. When it gets close to starting time and
your friends have not arrived, let the seats go for people who are waiting to sit down,” she says.
“Common sense says you don’t want to take all the choice seats for people who aren’t there to sit in
them. If you have a family of five and two or three are in the lobby, save the seats for a few minutes.”
You should also brush up on these social etiquette secrets you’ll only learn in etiquette classes.

theaterIAPANDR/SHUTTERSTOCK

Tall people

If you’re tall, you know that you have to be sensitive to the smaller folks around you. Try to sit near the
back of the auditorium, so you don’t obscure the view of shorter individuals behind you. The same rule
of etiquette goes for people with big hair. And if you wear a big hat, take it off to enjoy the movie!
cellphoneSYDA PRODUCTIONS/SHUTTERSTOCK

Smartphones and talking

At this point, everyone knows it’s rude to talk during a film or use their smartphone, and yet here we
are. It’s disruptive and rude to everyone seating next to or behind you. The only words that should be
spoken out loud are “Excuse me” if you have to use the restroom. And turn off your phone—or put it in
silent or airplane mode—so you’re not tempted to use it and annoy the people around you. Check out
the most iconic film and movie set locations you can visit in real life.

talkingSTOCKLITE/SHUTTERSTOCK

Disruptive neighbors

Sadly, people often flaunt the rules by chatting with friends or texting during a movie. You can either
ignore the problem or move seats. Etiquette expert Gottsman’s advice: “Contact the management and
let them handle it. Change seats if possible or talk the manager about getting your tickets refunded and
go to another show. It’s inconvenient, but sometimes your options are limited and you don’t want to put
yourself in an unsafe or terribly awkward position.”

“Ask yourself if you really want to get involved,” she continued. “Chances are, the person who is rudely
talking or texting is not very sensitive and he/she may not respond to you with courtesy. You may or
may not want to incite an argument.

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Bathroom break

Sometimes nature calls, but hopefully you can take care of this before the feature film begins. If you’re
unsure you’ll make it through, choose a seat on the aisle so you won’t disrupt other moviegoers. Duck
down as you leave the theater so you don’t block the anyone’s view, and quickly exit and re-enter the
theater.

And here’s something great for those with tiny bladders: The smartphone app RunPee will tell you the
best time to take a bathroom break during a movie, so you won’t miss any pivotal scenes. Just be sure to
check the app long before the movie starts—no cell phones in the theater!
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Babies

Who doesn’t love babies? In a movie theater, almost everybody! Bringing a baby to a movie is just rude
to the audience and your child. Remember that a startled baby is a squalling baby; given how loud
theaters are these days, you can protect your offspring by hiring a babysitter. After all, if you’re
attending to a baby every five minutes, you’re not going to get much from the movie anyway. Instead,
try some to watch movies at home until your child is old enough to handle the movie-going experience.
On the other hand, these are the etiquette rules even experts don’t follow anymore.

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Movie talk in the lobby

When it’s over, you’ll find yourself caught up in the excitement of a good movie as you head back
through the lobby. Just remember there will be people walking in to watch the very same movie—or
planning to see it soon. Keep any spoilers and details about the plot to yourself. According to Gottsman,
“Be mindful of the people who are there to watch the show and you