Copyright © 2023 by Cassidy Laine

All rights reserved.

No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the
publisher or author, except as permitted by U.S. copyright law.

Resemblance to actual persons and things living or dead, locales, or events is entirely coinci-
dental.
 Contents

Playlist VII

Synopsis VIII

Content Warnings X

1. Willow 1

2. Carter 7

3. Willow 13

4. Carter 19

5. Willow 25

6. Carter 31

7. Willow 37

8. Carter 43

9. Willow 50

10. Carter 56

11. Willow 62

12. Carter 69
13. Willow 74

The End. 78

Upcoming Books by Cassidy Laine 79

 Synopsis

Navy SEALs taught me control…

until I hired my daughter's best friend.
Willow was supposed to be the perfect personal assistant
for my private security .rmA
g manaCer with CoalsA
Not to mentionAAA
,urvy in all the riCht placesI swayinC hipsI red lips
AndAAA
,ompletely o-BlimitsA
' cankt taTe it thereA
OutAAA
'km a man who sees what he wants and Coes for itA
SoAAA
' tooT it thereA
kn my desp
In the pitchen
In my bed
…he world thinTs wekre nuts for beinC toCether
Es ecially my daughter.
 Content Warnings

This book contains explicit sexual content, profanity, and possessive

behavior that may be sensitive to some readers.

x
 One

Willow

“Oh, my God!” I screamed, staring at my phone.

“What’s the problem?” Amanda asked, rushing toward me.
“I got in. My proposal went through, and I’ve been invited for an
interview.” I turned around and pulled Amanda into a tight squishy
hug. “Oh, thank you so much. I’d never have done this without you.”
“Come on,” she scoTed. “Hhis was all you.”
I rolled my eyes. “It’s your father’s Srm, Amanda. xe probably
wouldn’t have read my proposal at all if it weren’t for you.”
Amanda smiled reluctantly, but I could see the glint in her green
eyes. Yhe ejpected me to slap on more praise. I shook my head and
smiled from the corner of my lips. “-ou bitch,” I Noked.
Yhe burst into laughter and sat back on the edge of my bed. Hhen
we spent the nejt few minutes sorting through my wardrobe as I had
to show up at her father’s oEce immediately.
xer father, Carter McGrath, was a very busy man. After an illustriL
ous career in the 1avy YDA—s, he decided to enter the battlegrounds

P
 CAYYI2- —AI1D

of entrepreneurship. xe wanted to share his ejpertise with the rest

of the world, so he built a niche for himself in the private security
business, and he was doing great. Carter’s Yecurity Corp was one of
the best professional private security Srms in Yan 2iego. Hhe pay was
great, and it would be an honor to work there. At least till I got enough
cash to send myself to photography schoolBwhich has always been
my life’s dream.
I rolled my eyes and groaned for the umpteenth time. Why did she
have to make the worst choices? I asked myself. Ytanding in front of
the mirror, I held up the blue oTLshoulder top that Amanda selected.
Hhen I made a face.
“What now?” she asked.
I sighed and turned to her. “Come on, Amanda. 2on’t tell me your
fashion sense is this bad?” I tossed the top at her, and she dropped it
beside her on the bed. “-ou can’t possibly want me to wear that.”
Yhe shrugged and tucked a strand of her straight blonde hair behind
her ear. “I don’t know what you want from me anymore, Willow.
We’ve spent hours talking about a top to match the purple pants you
have on. Why must you wear the purple pants for God’s sake?”
If I didn’t know any better, I’d trust her frustrated ejpression, but
Amanda was a master actress, and I could count on her to make faces
Nust to pull things in her favor.
I shook my head. “It hasn’t been hours. It’s not even up to ten
minutes.”
Yhe stuck her tongue out at me. “Rotato, potahto.”
“I’ll Nust go for the white one.”
Yhe sniggered, Jung her arms up, and stared at me in frustration.
“We didn’t need to spend all this time, Willow.”

z
 A—RxA UOYY RFOHDCHOF

I smiled. “I’m not going to walk out of this room unless I look like
the nejt Volie.”
Yhe sighed. “It’s not like you’re going to go and see a hot young
stud,” she commented. “-ou’re going to go and see my father. I’d
be damned if he even noticed anything other than your voice as you
answer his questions.”
I thought about Amanda’s father and my heart quivered slightly.
Been a while since I’ve seen him, I thought. In high school, I used to
imagine him on a People maga3ine cover with the words “Yejiest Man
Alive” printed in bold over his smoldering pose. Uut that was then. A
lot might have changed.
After a wait of about ten minutes, my 4ber showed up and I bade
Amanda farewell. Hhe driver was an ejoticLlooking guy with a full
mustache and glossy black hair. xe was giving his mustache a thorL
ough feelLup while looking in the rearview mirror as I settled into the
back seat. I rolled my eyes. Boys.
“xey,” I said, tapping the back of his seat until he stared at me. “I
do not care that you look like you could spout the full “Uohemian
Fhapsody” right now, get me out of here or you’ll soon get the hang
of getting rides as a oneLstarLrated ;reddie Mercury.”
xe stared at me like he had something to say, then he started the
car and drove oT. As we drove through the city, I did a little Google
search on Carter’s Yecurity Corp. Yomehow, Carter being Amanda’s
father didn’t make things easier. xe wasn’t the kind of stayLatLhome
dad content with making backyard barbecues and drinking beer on
the couch in front of the H5. Hhe thought of going under his scrutiny
made my heart race. xis company was SveLstar rated. I ran through
all the reviews and all the clients had a lot of great things to say. I

6
 CAYYI2- —AI1D

was a budding photographer looking for cash to attend my dream

photography school. 1ow, I wondered if I wouldn’t be a bad St for
the company.
Hhe 4ber slowed down in front of a large brown, threeLstory buildL
ing and parked within the line of cars along the curb. I quickly left
him a SveLstar rating and walked into the warm Yan 2iego weather.
Hhe sun’s glow was soft on the skin, perfect for a tan or a day on the
beach. Hhe other side of the street was also lined with buildings of
about the same si3e. Vust then, I spotted a yellow —amborghini drive
in from the bend ahead and stop in front of the Newelry shop a few
paces down. Hhen I bobbed my head. It was a smart move to have a
security company this close to ejpensive stores.
xeaving a sigh, I turned and walked into the huge brick building
with the enormous pretentious sign over the entranceBCarter’s YeL
curity Corp.
Hhe air became cool and wooly from the moment I walked through
the door. I clutched my bag and tried to look as professional as posL
sible, yet without coming across as a nerd. I’d hate for Carter to think
I’d be too bookish to do what was necessary. After speaking to the
receptionist, who’d been too busy to speak to me at Srst, I was led up
a Jight of stairs and dropped oT in front of a large brown door tagged
Carter McGrath. I took a deep breath, knocked softly, then waited for
a heartbeat before twisting the knob and walking in. Carter’s oEce
was large, larger than the lobby. Hhe walls were a glossy white, the Joor
wooden and brown. Hhe wall to the left was lined with a glass trophy
case Slled with medals, plaques, and trophies. Hhe other side of the
wall was lined with three cabinets, a large shelf, and two rows of photo
frames arranged neatly. Hhen, there was a young fauj palm tree at the
 A—RxA UOYY RFOHDCHOF

edge. A black curtain covered one side of a wall from end to end, but it
was spread wide apart to let in light from the window directly behind
Carter.
I couldn’t tell if it was the light behind him that made him look so
hot, or if he’d always been that way, but my heart started pounding.
It was almost as if I’d run all the way here. Instinctively, I wiped my
forehead with the back of my hand and wiped oT light perspiration.
After all this time, Carter was still my People’s Yejiest Man Alive.
xe didn’t move an inch when he saw me. Hhere wasn’t even the
slightest shift of emotion on his rugged face, but he Sjed his piercing
aquaLblue eyes on me, and suddenly I couldn’t move. Hhere were light
crinkles around his eyes and on his forehead, probably from scowling
too much. Hhey weren’t there the last time I saw himBand that was
a couple of years agoBbut it didn’t matter he only seemed to have
gotten better with age. xe has a wellLgroomed mustache and beard
that actually connects, and a few hairs of graying stubble making their
presence known. xis salt and pepper hair didn’t stop at his face. Hhe
hair on his head shows signs of a wellLseasoned man with a salt and
pepper scatter, but it is full and laid back, while the sides are faded.
I’ve never seen someone St so perfectly behind a work desk before.
Carter’s shoulders were wide, like Gaston in 2isney’s animated
Beauty and the Beast. I imagined him easily carrying two girls on each
shoulder. I spied his bicep underneath a white J.Crew dress shirt and
could almost see the musculature of his chest if I looked hard enough.
xe wouldn’t need to cast a spell on me if he wanted me, not while
he looked like that. Uut then, there was always that little voice at the
back of my head, reminding me he was my best friend’s father. xe was
oTLlimits.
 CAYYI2- —AI1D

“Hake a seat whenever you’re done looking around,” he said calmly.

God. A wave of oTLlimits rolled through me. xis voice was deep,
and heavy, but pleasant on the ears at the same time.
As I settled into one of the black leather, highLbacked, swivel chairs
across the table from him, I caught a whiT of his musky cologne and
felt my knees go weak. It was a good thing I was seated already.
Yuddenly, his forehead crinkled, and he looked at me.
My heart Numped. Did I do something wrong?
 Two

Carter

I listened to the old woman on the phone talk with exaggerated pa-
tience. My patience had worn thin from the urst min,te and nearly
ufteen min,tes laterv I was considering p,tting her on the general line
so she co,ld contin,e the conAersation with the receptionist. Where
the hell were her kids? ’s m,ch as I wanted to stiN-arm herv I co,ldnbt.
Rot if I didnbt want to lose an important clientv and possiSly aNect
the p,Slic reception of my company. D,nning a professional priAate
sec,rity o,tut in Ean Liego was Aery diNerent from my time as a RaAy
EC’O. Itbd Seen six years since I started Yarterbs Eec,rity Yorpv and
tho,gh I tried to r,n a tight shipv I co,ldnbt help S,t feelv sometimesv
that o,t herev I was a relicv a dinosa,r walking among horses and sheep.
In the RaAyv importance was Aal,ed Sased on st,N like character
and performance. jnebs Sackgro,nd or possessions didnbt matter.
Bo, co,ld come from a rich-ass family and still Se considered ulth if
yo, had a feeSle character or were as prod,ctiAe as a hamS,rger holder.
j,t herev it was 7,st moneyv moneyv and more money. I learned the
hard way d,ring the urst year of the S,siness. T,t from that moment

;
 Y’EEILB O’IRC

onwardv Ibd fo,nd a way to seamlessly integrate following the money

and holding on to my character. qhere were always people looking to
hire priAate sec,rity in Ean LiegoH its penchant for attracting to,rists
eAen made the S,siness more l,cratiAe. ’ll I had to do was ens,re I
kept the n,mSers on G,ality deliAered way ,p therev and it had Seen
working une.
Cxcept I wo,ldnbt haAe Seen listening to that ridic,lo,s call if I
hadnbt laid oN my assistant. We got a little lax and Segan to lag on
the logistics of sec,rity operatiAes. If there was one thing my time in
the RaAy had ta,ght mev it was that eAery second was precio,s. jne
second co,ld Se the diNerence Setween life and deathH in S,sinessv that
wo,ld Se prout or loss. 8rowth or aSsol,te death.
I was still on the phone call when I heard the knock on the doorv
S,t I neAer expected what came next. If it werenbt for her facev I
wo,ldnbt haAe known she was the one. My da,ghter asked me to do
her a faAor and consider one of her friends to ull in the position of my
assistant. Initiallyv I hated the idea. 8iAen Ibd sent the other g,y home
for ,nderperformancev replacing him with a friend of my da,ghterbs
was 7,st like Sringing him Sack. WoweAerv Setween my assignments
d,ring my time in the RaAy and the death of her motherv I hadnbt
really done m,ch for ’mandav and she pleaded hard for thisv so I
promised to do this for her since my task was to only consider the
position. Rot employ o,tright.
WoweAerv I fo,ght hard to hold Sack my shock as I stared at Pillow.
Itbd Seen a co,ple of years since Ibd seen or spoken to herv and altho,gh
I rarely saw her afterwardv I knew her c,rrent form was a far cry from
who she was. I latched my eyes onto her face. It had grown more
mat,re. Ehebd added a little zesh to her cheeks. Wer face was ro,nd

Q
 ’OVW’ TjEE VDjqCYqjD

and framed Sy sho,lder-length Srown hair. Wer eyes were Srown

,nderneath thickv l,sh Srowsv and her lips were f,ll and glossy with
red lipstick. My eyes rolled down a littlev settling on her f,ll Sreastsv
which looked like perfectly ro,ndv ,pt,rned Sowls ,nderneath her
white topv then my ga“e trailed down to the c,rAe of her hips. ?,icklyv
I p,lled my eyes away as my mind con7,red a wicked image.
Come on, I told myself. Ehe was in her early twentiesv aro,nd my
da,ghterbs agev and old eno,gh to make that kind of decisionv S,t she
was ’mandabs Sest friend. Rothing good co,ld eAer come o,t of a
relationship like that. I had to Se mindf,l of that when interacting
with herv especially if she ended ,p working for me.
I zipped thro,gh the Y” shebd sent to the company email earlier.
qho,gh shebd worked in a co,ple of placesv her only administratiAe
position was as a manager at McLonaldbs. I frowned and looked at her.
I noticed she looked a little shaken and I felt satisued. It was important
she reali“ed this wasnbt a social call.
9Bo,r only experience in an administratiAe position is at McLon-
aldbsF… I asked.
9Besv… she nodded. 9qhat was a co,ple of years ago.…
I went Sack to her Y”. I noticed shebd worked there for aSo,t a
year Sefore moAing on. Ehe had to haAe something. Ehe wo,ldnbt Se
managing McLonaldbs at twenty-two if she didnbt haAe some pretty
ama“ing G,alities to match.
9Phy did yo, leaAe the companyF… I askedv looking her directly in
the eye. Ehe G,ickly looked away.
9I didnbt feel like it was the right 7oS for mev… she replied.
9’nd what do yo, feel aSo,t thisF Is this the right 7oS for yo,F…

U
 Y’EEILB O’IRC

9’t the momentv yes. I know this isnbt McLonaldbsv S,t Ibm aware
yo, r,n a tight ship and that yo, place emphasis on G,ality and yo,r
relationship with clients. Ibm willing to p,t eAerything I haAe on the
line and learn to do more on the 7oS.…
Eomething on her hand ca,ght the s,nlight falling in from the
window and I noticed a thin silAer Sand on her index unger. qhen I
noticed how slender and long her ungers were. qhe nails were neatly
manic,red and shone with pale pink nail polish. Wer skin looked
smooth. My fingers must feel like sandpaper running across that, I
tho,ght. qhenv as if Ibd ca,ght myself red-handedv I collected myself
and p,lled my mind away from her.
I went thro,gh her Y” again. qhere wasnbt eno,gh in there to make
an ’ if that had Seen a written examination. T,t there wasnbt eno,gh
in there for her to make an 1 either. Eov I zipped the dossier closedv
linked my ungersv placed my arms on the taSlev and sighed.
9Ibll giAe yo, the 7oSv… I told her.
Wer eyes instantly lit ,p like a lightS,lS.
9qhank yo, Aery0v… she started to sayv S,t I held a hand ,pv de-
manding G,iet.
9Ibll giAe yo, the 7oSv… I contin,ed. 9T,t Se aware that yo,bre on
proSation. qhis is S,sinessv and in S,sinessv yo, donbt take ,nneces-
sary chances. T,t Ibm willing to take one with yo,. If yo, giAe me one
reason to think yo,bre a Sad ut for the urmv yo,bre o,tv no G,estions
askedv no explanations giAen. 2nderstand meF…
9Besv sir.… Ehe was trying so hard to s,ppress her excitementv S,t
her face radiated with it. I felt a slight tenor of satisfaction watching
her ught Sack with that m,ch excitement. It was as tho,gh Seing
responsiSle for the smile on her face was an accomplishment.
 ’OVW’ TjEE VDjqCYqjD

Ehe made to say somethingv S,t the o ce phone rang 7,st then. It
had to Se the old woman calling again. E,ddenlyv I got an idea.
9Ibm ass,mingv yo, came in ready to workv yesF… I asked her.
9’Ssol,tely.… Ehe SoSSed her head eagerly.
98ood. Ibll ull yo, in on the rest of yo,r 7oS description laterv S,t
in the meantimev Ibll send a clientbs call to yo,r o ce. Bo,bll speak
with themv und o,t what they wantv and make s,itaSle arrangements.
qhink of this as a test.…
9Ibm sorryv sirv… she saidv 9S,tv ,m0 I donbt know where my o ce
is yet.…
9Lonbt worry aSo,t that. Ibll haAe someone show yo, to yo,r o ce.
Yongrat,lations.…
9qhank yo,v… she saidv Seamingv and extended her hand for a hand-
shake. I hesitated a little Sefore accepting it. Oike Ibd tho,ght earlierv
her hand felt soft and small inside mine. Eo m,ch so that I was slightly
tempted to hold on to her hand a little longer. Pillow t,cked her red
lips in momentarilyv and I wondered how shebd taste and feel if we
kissed.
I withdrew my hand instantly and forced the tho,ght o,t of my
head. If it was inappropriate Sefore Seca,se she was my da,ghterbs Sest
friendv the inappropriateness 7,st do,Sled now that Ibd Secome her
Soss.
9Wold on a littlev… I told herv 9Phile I call someone to take yo, to
yo,r o ce.…
Ehe nodded.
I dialed the loSSy and had the receptionist come ,pv then I in-
str,cted her to take the new personal assistant to her o ce. jn her
way o,tv the receptionist informed me that shebd dropped the ,pdated
 Y’EEILB O’IRC

list of c,rrently aAailaSle sec,rity agents still in the companybs payroll

and sent it to my mail. ’s Pillow followed the receptionist o,tv I
co,ldnbt help S,t watch the way her waist swayed. It was like the soft
white foam of the waAes washing across the Seach on a calm day. ’s
soon as she closed the door Sehind herv I leaned Sack into my seat
and sighed heaAily. I co,ldnbt SelieAe how irresistiSle she was. Betv no
matter how attracted I was to her insane Sodyv there were Sarriers.
Tarriers I co,ldnbtv sho,ldnbtv and wo,ldnbt cross. WoweAerv as I tried
to get Sack to workv I co,ld still see her in my mindbs eye and co,ld
trace the c,rAes of her hips and the rise of her Sreastsv the c,rl in her
Srown hairv and the lines of her face.
 Three

Willow

When I applied for this job, I only wanted to save money for photog-
raphy school. Then I got hit with a slew of duties the krst wee’ alone,
and instantly I ’new if I didnCt get my shit together, ICd be ’issing
xarterCs krm goodbye, and my chance to loo’ at his seOy ass whenever
opportunities were presented. Bne good thing about being xarterCs
assistant was that I got to be around him often. My the time I was two
and a half wee’s into the job, I could already tell when he was close
by his mus’y cologne and his low, smo’y voice. Host people with that
’ind of voice usually came o; as intimidating or scary, but not him. “e
’new how to cut the balance between gentility and absolute authority.
It didnCt matter the mountain of paperwor’ I had on my des’” as long
as I continue to wor’ directly under him, I am content.
q“ey,z someone called to me as I hurried along the hallway.
Oh shoot, I s1uee3ed my eyes shut. Mission failed.
When I krst started here, ICd always loved to come out in heels.
I loved the conkdence it added to my gait as I strutted around the
hallways or stood neOt to xarter. Those times were really the days

AS
 xDYYILN EDI9?

of ignorance because it only made much sense later why ICd been
receiving weird stares from the females in the o4ce, who were, for
some strange reason, never in heels. Dfter struggling to get through the
krst couple of days, always being stopped by guys in the hallway, or the
lobby, or while I was descending or ascending a Pight of stairs, I knally
caught the drift. I was in the company of man-whores who responded
to every ’noc’ of a heel on the marble Poors li’e the cops to a RAA call.
Dnd it wasnCt that they were unattractive or anything. They were all
eOceptionally well-put-together guys. It was as if xarter had them pass
through a ktness and beauty program while interviewing them.
Dll of them with military bac’grounds, they were the ’ind of guys
youCd want if you were loo’ing to ma’e your personal enaction of The
Bodyguard. With all the attention, theyCd ma’e you feel so much li’e
Whitney “ouston, youCd be straining your lungs and trying to hit that
note on your rendition of qI Will Dlways Eove Nou.z Mut just li’e most
guys whoCre aware of their loo’s, they never ’new when to tuc’ it all
in and ta’e a wal’. Host of them probably thought a girl should feel
privileged for getting attention from them, but the last thing I wanted
in all honesty, was to have their voices yapping in my ears. I had my
sights set on a seOy hun’ of a guy already, and I wish theyCd just leave
me the hec’ alone.
Yadly, wishes could never be horses. Dnd my decision to wear
pumps and activate stealth mode through the hallways didnCt get me
out of this one.
q“ey,z the guy ran in front of me, bringing me to a stop in the
middle of the hallway. qNouCre the new girl, right5z
I loo’ed past him down the hallway. xarterCs o4ce was just right
there. xouldnCt he have waited till I was right at the door5

A'
 DE"“D MBYY "6BT?xTB6

“e was a blond, but a short one. “e was somewhere between 8UAA…

and JUA… give or ta’e, while I came in at 8U!…. Bf course, some people
would knd him tall, but he was only taller by a few inches. 7nli’e
xarter who loo’ed li’e he should be in the 9MD. “e ’ept a full blond
beard, with a trimmed connecting mustache, and his eyes were green.
Dnd unli’e xarter, he was built li’e a barrel, but not in the rotund,
mountain of a stomach ’ind of way. “e was large, muscular, and
thic’, but there were no muscular modulations. 9one of the broad
shoulders-slimmer waist ’ind of stu;. If Yanta were from Yan Liego,
I kgured this was what heCd loo’ li’e.
q7mm, Tony,z I replied patiently, qICve been here for li’e two
months now. I donCt ’now how time wor’s in here, but I really thin’
the newbie things should have k33led out by now.z
“e narrowed his eyes. qBh, you ’now my name5 “ave we met
before5z
I rolled my eyes. No, dummy, we haven’t met before. And yes, I know
your name. I manage your files, and, as a matter of fact, I’m about to
hand your new assignment over to the boss for approval. Mut I didnCt say
any of this to him. I just shoo’ my head and stared at him, eOpecting
him to wrap up this little presentation anytime soon.
qEoo’, umm .z “e lic’ed his lips. qWhatCs your name5z
qI donCt see how that matters right now. If youCve got something to
say, Tony, say it. NouCve ’ept me waiting for a couple of minutes now
and I really need to see the boss.z
qDlright, alright, sheesh.z
I blin’ed my eyes rapidly. Is this guy serious?

A8
 xDYYILN EDI9?

qWell,z he continued, qI wanted to ’now when you got o; wor’.

ICve been meaning to have some time with you, to appreciate how
beautiful you loo’. NouCre so beautiful. Nou ’now that, right5z
q9o, Tony. I donCt have a mirror. Nou tell me.z
“e laughed. qThatCs really funny.z
qEoo’, if you donCt mind, I really have somewhere I must be.z
I made to move past him, and he stepped into my path, smiling. I
clic’ed my tongue and restrained myself. qEisten, Tony, I donCt have
time for this. ICm not some stripper at the club whoCs intimidated or
turned on by guys li’e you. This is an o4ce. I play my role, and you
play yours, and right now, youCre way out of line. "lease, move over so
I can go about my business.z
I ’new there was going to be trouble as soon as I heard a group of
guys wal’ing down the hallway at that moment, chorusing as if ICd just
smo’ed Tony.
ust one glance at them and TonyCs countenance changed. I ’new
instantly what would be going through his mind. “eCd thin’ ICd just
shown him o; in front of a bunch of guys who were all drun’ on
the prospects of being considered and seen as alpha males. Dfter all,
they hadnCt spent all that time in the gym, piling up muscles, just to
be treated li’e some wimp on a street corner.
Immediately, I tried to step past him, but he held a sti; arm out,
cutting me o;. qWhere do you thin’ youCre going5z he as’ed, glaring
at me.
I bac’pedaled a bit. qWhat are you doing5z I as’ed, angry. qEet me
go, Tony. I donCt have time for this.z
qNou thin’ you can just show up here and act li’e a bitch to every-
one5z

AJ
 DE"“D MBYY "6BT?xTB6

The guys at the corner burst into laughter. They were enjoying this
little show, and it only got me angrier. I stepped closer to Tony, loo’ed
him in the eye, and jutted my chin forward.
qDs much as ICd love to stand here and educate you on which of us
is being a bitch, I donCt have the time. Ytep out of my way.z
qWell, ma’e me,z he said, glaring at me. qNou feel youCre so sassy5
Yo bossy and strong5 Hove me out the way.z
I made to move past him again, and he held out a sti; arm, shoving
me bac’ a little this time.
qEet me go z I yelled.
Then came a voice from the end of the hallway and everywhere went
still.
qWhat in the hell is going on here5z I felt a Push of relief. ICd ’now
that voice anywhere, even if I was dreaming. qI as’ed a 1uestion, didnCt
I5z xarter as’ed.
Dll the guys whoCd been having fun as spectators straightened and
moved bac’ against the wall. The rage on TonyCs face was nowhere to
be found. Without anyone saying a thing, he too’ several steps bac’
from me and lin’ed his hands behind him.
qItCs not what you thin’, boss,z he replied, without loo’ing xarter
in the eye. qItCs a misunderstanding thatCs all.z
xarter loo’ed at me. qDre you o’ay5z he as’ed.
I couldnCt ta’e my eyes o; him the entire time. 9ot even if I wanted
to. That right there was a seOy magnet, and it was on.
I bobbed my head, feeling my insides s1uirm under the ga3e of his
piercing blue-green eyes.
qInside my o4ce,z he commanded.

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 xDYYILN EDI9?

Ds I wal’ed past him, I caught a whi; of his cologne, and my ’nees

nearly wobbled. In a world where dreams came true, I wouldnCt be
able to ’eep my hands o; xarter at this point. “eCd always come o;
as the grumpy, no-nonsense ’ind of guy. Mut this was the krst time, I
actually saw it have a ripple reaction around guys who usually assumed
they were on top of their world.
I imagined him wal’ing into the o4ce, wrapping his arms around
my waist, and pulling me against him. Then heCd lean down, and
weCd loc’ tongues while he groped my ass. It felt as if my heart was
thumping against my ribs at the thought. Mut then I got into his o4ce
and was reminded of all the reasons why the thought of us, together,
would always remain in my head. “e was the boss now, and I, the
employee. Ds if that wasnCt enough, he was my best friendCs father. I
couldnCt thin’ of anything else that suc’ed li’e this.

A!
 Four

Carter

Every single time I saw her, there was a part of me that wanted more,
and another part that wanted to nip this thing in the bud before it
became too late. And then I’d wondered if it wasn’t too late already. I
tried to keep our relationship strictly formal. I never did more than
inquire lightly about her welfare whenever she was around, before
diving into whatever business we had at hand. Yet, I anticipated the
little moments she spent in my oTce. It was as though the day wasn’t
complete until she showed up. Every single time she stood before
me, speaking or smiling, I imagined what it must feel like to get a
feel of the immaculate body underneath her clothes. Vhe other day,
she wore a top with a -xneck that eGposed the cusps of her breasts,
and I’d imagined sucking on her nipples till her face grew taut with
pleasure. Foing by the color of her skin, her nipples would be pink and
rockxhard as I twiddled them between my thumb and indeG 1nger.
9rom the onset, I knew a girl like her would be like a beacon. All
the guys would want to get a piece of her, so I didn’t waste any time
letting her know it was okay to come to me if she had any problems

CS
 DALLINY BAIJE

with anyone. jut I felt that wasn’t her style. “udging by the way she
spoke, and how quickly she got the hang of the ?ob, she was the kind
of person who wasn’t scared to make her own way. Lhe was brave, and
that made her even more irresistible.
Lhe was already seated when I got into the oTce. I forced myself to
pretend not to know she wasn’t looking at me all the way from the
door till I took my seat across the table from her.
”LoPW she asked, looking at me.
”Lo whatPW I asked, noticing how dreamy her eyes were. jut not in
the underxaxreverie kind of way. It had the smooth, syrupy teGture of
honey, and could drag you in like a riveting movie. Luddenly, I wanted
to know more about her. If Amanda had been someone else, I could’ve
easily asked her for those details. zerhaps, it was possible for us to start
something and then keep it strictly out of oTce hours. jut then again,
that wasn’t likely.
Lhe laughed a little. ”Vhe way you sent me into the oTce, I assumed
you were about to have a facexoO with the guys in the hall. LoPW Lhe
waved her left hand a little. I’d noticed that was her dominant hand.
”Nid you kill any of themPW
I chuckled slightly. ”Jo, I didn’t. jut I gave them a stern warning
not to ever try to intimidate a staO member of mine within the 1rm.W
”…hat about outside itPW she asked. ”I don’t have enough money
yet to hire a bodyguard, and guys can be so shitty, you couldn’t imagx
ine the lengths they’d go to for certain things. Jot that I think all guys
are shitty. You’re not shitty. You’re older, and they’re younger. Lo, I
guess all younger guys. jut not as if you’re that old, old. You’re still
goodxlooking and very ama2ing. As, umm, uh, as a boss. 0kayH,W she
trailed oO, leaning back into her seat. ”I’ll keep quiet now.W

RU
 ABz—A j0LL zM0VEDV0M

Vhat was the most eOusive I’d ever seen her, and partly it opened a
diOerent perspective on things. zerhaps, I wasn’t the only one thinking
about us. Vhe words she said still rang in my ears like the chime of bells,
and it felt as though she was trying to say she was attracted to me and
denied it at the same time. Oh, come on, man, I chided myself. What
are you doing? Are you trying to look for signs where there aren’t any,
now?
Luddenly, I felt so stupid. It was best I ?ust ignored this. It could
never happen anyway.
”Jothing like that’s going to happen, …illow,W I answered her
question. ”You’re safe. I’m not even sure the situation outside would
have escalated more than that. It’s ?ust like you said. Fuys can be shitty
sometimes. Vhey don’t like it when a girl acts like she’s way beyond
their league and stuO like that.W
”jut I am way beyond their league,W she clari1ed, bobbing her head
like she was stating a fact. ”I wouldn’t date any of them. I don’t 1nd
them remotely attractive.W
Dould this be her way of saying she was attracted to older menP
Vhat she was attracted to meP Again, I caught myself before I veered
far oO the path. zerhaps, I should ?ust get down to business and stop
putting myself in situations like this.
”Anything for mePW I asked, keeping a straight face.
”3mm, yeah.W Lhe cleared her throat and leaned close to the table,
handing me the dossier she’d brought in. ”Vhese are the current agent
1les and their new assignments for your approval.W
I collected the dossier, stamped it, and returned it right back to her.
Lhe stared at me like something was wrong.
”Are you okayPW I cocked a brow.

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 DALLINY BAIJE

”Jo, yeah. I am. It’s ?ust that I’ve noticed that you don’t, you know,
vet the 1les before approving them. You were doing that before, but
you kind of stopped.W
”Is that a problemPW
”Jot really.W Lhe grimaced. ”I ?ust kind of hope you’re not giving
me an easy pass. jecause you know, I’m Amanda’s friend and all. I’m
a grown adult, and I can handle tough decisions.W
I nodded. ”…ell, that’s great to know. jut I didn’t stop vetting the
assignments because I’m giving you an easy pass. I stopped vetting
them because you were doing a good ?ob, and you’d 1nally gotten
the hang of things. Vhat’s why you’re the assistant. You handle the
things that I can’t do so that I can focus on others. If I had to vet
the assignments after you’d already worked on them, you wouldn’t be
doing a good ?ob now, would youPW
Lhe nodded repeatedly, sucking air in through her teeth simultanex
ously. ”Yeah. I didn’t think of that. I’m sorry.W
”Alright,W I sighed, ”unless you have something else for me. Vhat
will be all.W
Lhe picked up the dossier from the desk and got to her feet. ”Vhank
you for what you did out there. You really didn’t have to.W
”It’s nothing.W
As …illow headed toward the door, my eyes couldn’t leave her
wellxrounded ass in that paintedxon pencil skirt, or the curve of her
hips and the slip of skin that the tail of her white puOedxsleeve blouse
allowed ?ust above her waist. —er brown hair sashayed behind her like a
reef blown by the gentle undercurrents of the ocean. jut it wasn’t ?ust
her body. 0ver the course of the time, she’d spent here, I’d reali2ed she
was brave and incredibly smart. I felt an intense desire to look out for

RR
 ABz—A j0LL zM0VEDV0M

her in any way I could. I wanted her, my whole body said it, but then
there were always the little bells in the corner of my mind, reminding
me of the line. Luddenly, a thought popped into my head.
Tony. It occurred to me that the bastard had tried to make a pass at
her and that all the other guys would be looking to do the same thing.
zerhaps, it was time I put out a message. I wouldn’t 1re him4that
would be considered too harsh. I could put him on an undesirable
assignment, the kind where he’d gladly consider killing himself as a
way to escape. Fuys like that would be looking to be placed in the
?uicy spots in the city. Vhe kind of place where they could have access
to the sights while on duty and be thirst traps for all the girls around.
I thought of the old woman who’d called me earlier. rs. Nonatella
wanted a bodyguard to walk her dogs every morning and keep her safe
from the new guys moving into the neighborhood, who she thought
were thieves in disguise. It was a pretty insane thing to say, but I could
deliver, and Vony happened to be the perfect sacri1ce.
”…ait a minute, …illow.W
Lhe’d already pulled the door open, so I covered the distance bex
tween us in a few strides. jut I moved too fast trying to stop her from
leaving. Lhe shut the door quicker than I eGpected, almost as if she’d
been eGpecting me to call her back. And then she wheeled around. I
had to put a hand out against the door to avoid colliding with her, but
I got close enough.
Lhe icked her brown eyes up, staring directly at me, and I saw
the gla2e of desire in her eyes. It was unmistakable. —er chest heaved
slightly as if she were running short of breath. I was close. Dlose
enough to catch the whiO of lavender from her hair, probably from
her shampoo, and the smell of roses and lilac from her body. As her

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 DALLINY BAIJE

scent rolled through my nostrils, it went straight to my head, and then

something snapped inside me.
I slid my hand underneath her hair, cupped the back of her head,
and mashed my lips against her.

R
 Five

Willow

My heart nearly punched its way out of my rib cage when Carter kissed
me. I could feel the restrained passion underneath that kiss like he’d
been Hghting against this his whole life. Fis lips were deliciously warm
and sent a tingling sensation down my entire body. ,or a secondz I was
frovenz shockedz and thrown into total disbelief. It was happeningz
and I couldn’t belieAe it was. Jnd then he slid his tongue into my
mouthz and a thousand Hreworks blew up in my head. It was like the
,ourth of quly up there. I could feel his breathz hot and rushedz wash
oAer my face. Fis hand at the back of my head and the other one on
my waist felt like a cushion. I dropped the Hles in my handz and kissed
him backz locking my tongue with hisz as he grew more passionate.
I moaned right into his mouth as he grabbed my left butt cheek
and sTueeved hard. -he whole world fell o2 a cli2 at that momentz
plunging into bottomless depths. I could barely eAen recall who I was.
Jll I knew was the pleasure rolling through my body in high5crested
waAesz and the undeniable fact that I wanted him. I pushed myself
against himz feeling his crotch push backz his cock as hard as a rockz

SD
 CJYYILN EJIOG

and my desire doubled. I wound my arms around his waistz and he

grabbed my second butt cheek with the other hand. -hen he lifted me
up. I moAed my arms around his strong neck almost immediately and
wrapped my thighs against his waist. -hen I dug my Hngers into his
hair as he kissed me. Fe was so controlled eAen with all that passion
rolling through his bodyz as though he was frightened he’d hurt me.
Fe sucked on my hardened raised nipples through my topz and I
threw my head backz grateful that I’d decided to turn up without a
bra. I moaned and bit down on my lip. It felt as though I was being
pulled toward opposite ends. !n one sidez I was sailing the current up
the peak of ecstasyz and on the otherz I still had to remember I was in
the oWce. I couldn’t giAe us away.
I wiggled my hips as he held me Hrmly with one arm around my
waistz groped my left breast with one handz and planted wet kisses on
my neck with the other. I sucked in the air with my teeth. !h “od” Fe
was so fucking good.
-hen someone knocked on the door. je frove.
xLadz it’s mez6 a Aoice said from behind the door.
!hz shit.
Carter looked like he’d Pust seen a ghost. -hat was the Hrst time I’d
eAer seen him terriHed. Jnd he wasn’t alone. I Pumped o2 his body and
straightened my shirtz while he leaped back toward the work desk Pust
as the door swung open.
Jmanda poked her head inz a wide smile on her face. -hen she saw
mez and the smile widened.
xjasn’t eBpecting to run into you herez6 she saidz shutting the door
behind her.
je hugged each other.

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 JE‘FJ ?!YY ‘U!-GC-!U

xNeahz6 I saidz tucking a stray strand of my hair behind my ear and

trying to control my breathing. xI Pust came in to submit stu2 for the
boss’s approAal.6
Jmanda looked at Carterz who’d already taken a seat behind the
desk. xIt sounds so weird hearing you call him 7boss.’ ?ut I’m glad it
worked out. I hope he isn’t giAing you a tough time.6
x!f course not.6 I shook my head. xIt’s been smooth sailing so far.
In factz he approAed the dossier without stress.6
-hen it hit me. -he dossier. jhere was it—
I looked around and noticed it was on the 8oorz right neBt to
Jmanda’s feet. My heart began to hammer in my chest. I must’Ae
dropped it while making out with Carter. Oh no! Copious amounts
of fear and anBiety rolled through my body at that moment. If it
was possible to conAert human beings to energyz at least I knew what
energy I’d come out as.
Jmanda saw the dossier too and she frowned a little. xjhat’s that
doing there—6 she askedz bending to pick it up. I swear my heart
stopped when she asked that Tuestion. I glanced at Carterz and he was
stone5faced. -here wasn’t eAen the slightest show of emotion there. It
was almost as if he wasn’t eAen there.
x9mmz ermz6 I coughed as Jmanda returned the dossier to me.
x-hat fell as you were coming in.6
Yhe smiled. xCome onz jillowz the last thing you want to do is be
careless around my father. Yee—6 Yhe pointed at him. xI’m making a
Poke and he can’t eAen smile.6
I feigned a chuckle. Most daysz I would’Ae laughedz but my insides
were too wound up to consider anything funny at the moment.

S3
 CJYYILN EJIOG

xIt’s nice to see youz Jmandaz6 I said. x?ut I really should be o2.
I’Ae still got work to do.6
x!f coursez6 she saidz patting me on the shoulder. xI’ll stop by your
oWce as soon as I’m done seeing Lad.6
x“reat.6 I smiled. xI’ll be eBpecting you then.6
I walked out of the oWce and shut the door behind me.
,or a few secondsz I didn’t moAe. I Pust stood outside therez clutch5
ing the dossier to my chest and staring into the open. What in the hell
just happened? I asked myselfz still shaken from the eAent. You played
a stupid game and almost got the stupid prize, that’s what happened. I
collected myself and made a beeline to my oWce. I was still shaken by
how close we’d come to getting caught. If Jmanda hadn’t taken the
courtesy to knockz it’d haAe been oAer. It’d haAe been outright chaos
in there right now. Fow would I haAe looked her in the eye— jhat
eBcuse would I haAe giAen— I was her best friend in the whole wide
worldz and to turn around and start making out with her father was
like the largestz most hurtful stab in the back. I couldn’t deal with
the disappointment that would haAe ensued or the hatred. I would’Ae
eAen driAen a wedge between daughter and father. -o the best of my
knowledgez Carter may not haAe been around all the timez but he
shared a tight bond with his daughter0that much was certain. Yhe’d
think a lot of things about him if she’d caught us0none of them
pleasant.
I felt a little cold when I came into my oWce. Yoz I dropped the
dossier on the desk and stepped out of my oWce to get a cup of co2ee
from the company’s breakroom. J few minutes laterz I was in my seatz
sipping the co2ee as I stared out the window at the people walking the
streets. My life had come so close to being torn apartz and all for whatz

S
 JE‘FJ ?!YY ‘U!-GC-!U

because I had a thing for my best friend’s father. I heaAed a sigh. -he
time had come to do something about this.
Jmanda and I had been besties since before high school. If I re5
spected her enough and truly loAed herz I’d haAe to bury whateAer
feelings I had for Carter and moAe on. It would be hard burying such
an attractionz especially with him being around all the timez but I
had a feeling he’d be thinking along these same lines in his oWce.
je could keep eAerything hush5hush if it were Pust a relationship
between the boss and his employee. It was highly unethical in the
oWce enAironmentz but he was his own bossz and he could do what
he wanted. ?ut Jmanda in the miB made eAerything a thousand times
more complicated and delicate.
No. I shook my head. I couldn’t let this go further than it already
had. -oday was a close shaAez and it couldn’t haAe gotten any closer
than that. If I focused on my work and limited any personal interac5
tions with Carterz I would be able to clear this hurdle. ?ut it wasn’t an
easy decision. I could already feel the hurt of denying my attraction to
Jmanda’s fatherz but it was better this way.
-here was a soft knock on the door followed by Jmanda’s Aoice. I
took a deep breathz calming my nerAes before asking her to come in.
Yhe was all smiles.
xFeyz6 she said. xMy dad seems eBcited enough about your work.
-ell mez did you do anything special—6 Yhe plonked down on the seat
across from me.
I chuckled and aAoided making eye contact with her. xjhat do you
mean by special—6
xFe says he’s really impressed with your workz and that you’Ae been
a stellar addition to his sta2. I know you don’t know my dad Aery wellz

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 CJYYILN EJIOG

but he’s not the type to throw praise around. jhateAer you’re doingz
keep doing it.6
Trust me, I thought. You don’t want to know what I’m doing.
I knew there hadn’t been enough in Carter’s oWce to suggest that
he and I were up to anythingz but I could see the trust she had in me.
Yhe’d neAer eBpect me to make out with her fatherz and I was going to
try and keep it clean moAing forward. ,or her.
 Six

Carter

I’d had a lot of close calls in my life, most of them coming from my days
as a Navy SEAL, but none of them felt as dangerous and threatening
as when my daughter almost caught me making out with Willow.
Frankly, I’d handled the situation quite well. Not that I’d ever doubted
myself, but we’d escaped detection by a hair’s breadth. All Amanda
would’ve had to do was just walk into the oOce. Bf course, it was
courtesy for her to knock, but I wouldn’t have held it against her if she
decided to just barge in. I owned the xrm, and she was my daughter.
zut that only just reminded me of how quickly everything could have
gone to shit.
After that day, I stayed away from the oOce for about two days and
sent Willow a teHt authori3ing her to handle the logistics of the private
agents and their assignments without my seal of approval for a while. I
knew there was an elephant in the room we were supposed to address,
but I didn’t think she was ready for it. zesides, I had to give myself
time to think as well. I still thought of her. 1ow close we’d come,
and sometimes wished we’d taken it further than that. She was that

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 YASSI?T LAINE

delicious. I even considered relieving her of her job at some point, but
that’d have been just plain unnecessary. 1ow would I have eHplained
that move to Amanda— Especially after telling her that Willow had
been doing quite well in the oOce.
1owever, when I xnally showed up at the oOce, I did so with the
hopes of setting things straight with Willow so we could move on.
I’d just walked into the lobby when she walked in from outside. “he
moment I saw her I knew something was wrong. Everything about
her was still as incredible as ever. She wore a tan sleeveless dress that
displayed her xgure boldly and stopped just above her knee. She’d
decided to style her hair in a bun and that really brought out her face.
zut that was where things started to go wrong”her face. It lacked any
of her characteristic eHcitement and enthusiasm. She looked sad and
tired. I didn’t know why, but I felt an overwhelming and irresistible
pull and wanted to protect and shield her from whatever it was. Like
before, I just wanted her to be safe.
21ey,P I called as she tried to walk past me. She stopped and feigned
a smile, but she couldn’t even look me in the eye. I understood. “his
was the xrst time we were speaking to each other since the oOce
incident. It’d have been foolish of me not to eHpect any awkwardness
at xrst.
2Are you okay—P I asked her. 2Is everything good—P
2Tes,P she nodded.
zut I could tell, as clear as day, that she was lying. A light chuckle
from one of the people sitting in the lobby stopped me from pressing
harder. And as if I was growing aware of my surroundings for the
xrst time, I reali3ed how full the lobby was. It felt as if almost all
the employees were down here, and the implication of what I was

CR
 ALV1A zBSS VGB“EY“BG

about to do revealed itself automatically. I couldn’t be perceived as

being partial, even though I knew some of them might have arrived
at that conclusion already. zut most importantly, I couldn’t be seen
as having any emotional connection toward Willow. Yommon oOce
ethics barred seHual or romantic relationships at work, and I wasn’t
about to set a bad precedent.
2Mery well, then,P I nodded. 2-et to work.P
2Tes, sir.P
As she walked upstairs, I paused and frowned a bit. Yes, sir, I
thought. “hat reply had felt so odd, and then it occurred to me that
she’d stopped calling me sir as soon as we started getting familiar with
each other. And something else dawned on me. I’d dropped my guard
toward her long before I even reali3ed I had. It must have been from
that very xrst day when she showed up for the interview. She’d swept
me o4 my feet then and had become a new tenant in my mind ever
since.
“ry as hard as I might, I couldn’t get Willow out of my head. It
didn’t matter how much work I took on, my mind would xnd a way
to bring her in after about thirty minutes of focus. “hinking of her
became the real work and the xles on my desk served as recess. I kept
seeing the sad look on her face, and the dissatisfaction of having done
nothing to wipe that look o4 her face ate at me like a worm. So, I called
her on the phone at the end of oOce hours. I’d really fought the urge.
I’d battled it so much that it was like being in the SEALs all over again,
but I couldn’t hold out for much longer. 5y mind was just going cra3y
with too many questions. What if she’s in some real trouble? How’s she
going to get herself out of it? You know she wants you there. She just can’t
bring herself to say it, especially after nearly getting caught by Amanda.

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 YASSI?T LAINE

She may think she needs some space from you right now. But you know
you’ll never forgive yourself if something really bad were to happen to her
because you ignored your gut, right? What if it were another guy giving
her trouble?
“hen I felt this rage from nowhere. A mental image of another guy
grabbing her butt and sucking on her tit while she dug her xngers
into his hair and clung to him as if her life depended on it, 6ashed
through my mind. I imagined him kissing her, slipping his tongue into
her mouth, her moaning and loving it, her face contorted in pleasure,
and then I knew I couldn’t just stand by. “here was no way in hell I
was letting someone mess around with her. I had to at least know what
was going on. “he least I could do, even if she didn’t want to talk, was
reassure her, and keep her safe.
After what seemed like the one hundredth time her phone went to
voicemail, I decided to go check up on her myself. No one knew the
kind of pain she was battling behind her oOce doors. I abandoned the
slew of projects on my desk and walked all the way to her oOce. “hen I
rapped my knuckles softly on the door but didn’t get a response from
the other end. After about the third time of knocking, I twisted the
knob and tried to push the door open, but it didn’t budge. It was
locked.
1eaving a sigh, I took a step back and stared down the hallway.
“here was no sign of her anywhere. Where could she have gone? I
asked myself. She wasn’t even picking up her calls and that just fueled
my decision to xnd her. I walked over to the lobby and asked the
receptionist if she’d seen her.
2Tes, sir,P she said. “hen pointed toward the door. 2She just walked
out.P

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 ALV1A zBSS VGB“EY“BG

I walked out the door quickly and spotted her getting into a taHi.
I hopped into my car and tailed her from like xve or siH cars back.
Whenever it was getting to seven or eight, I just cut in and out until I
was back to xfth or siHth in the lane.
It was getting late outside. “he sky was a spectral armada of pink,
blue, and pale indigo colors, and then neHt to the hori3on where the
sun was just beginning to disappear, there were splashes of orange.
San ?iego’s nightlife was beginning to rear its head. “he streetlights
were coming on, people were walking casually along the wide streets, as
though they belonged in a world di4erent from all the cars streaming
by. Stores were looking reanimated with all the lights streaming out
the windows and doors. Willow’s taHi veered o4 the street and into an
avenue. I’d never been to her house, so I assumed all the while that was
where she was headed.
“hen I caught a couple of people, one being Amanda, in a queue
up ahead in front of a building with a large 6ashing neon sign above
the entrance manned by two bulky security guards and it clicked. She
was going to a nightclub.
“he taHi stopped by the curb, and she got out and stood beside
Amanda in the queue. Nothing had changed about her face since I last
saw her. I wasn’t one to police one’s choices or what they did with their
lives, but whenever people visited nightclubs with clouds over their
faces, they either wanted to get wasted or fuck till they got wasted. “he
latter elicited a spike of anger. I couldn’t imagine some clown laying
his hands on Willow, trying to please her. 1e wouldn’t know where
to start.

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 YASSI?T LAINE

I hung back a little farther down the road, then waited until they got
in. “hen I rolled in with the car, showed my badge to the bouncers,
and as soon as they reali3ed whom I was, got in.

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 Seven

Willow

“Are you really serious right now?” I asked.

“Of course. Can’t you see? The girl is in the wrong for going out
with her best friend’s dad. Come on! What happened to all the guys
around?”
I felt like I’d been punched in the gut. I didn’t know what I was ex-
pecting coming to Amanda with this. I knew there was a good chance
she’d say no to it, but I was hopeful. Staying away from Carter just
wasn’t going to work. I knew I’d set my mind to cutting ov whateHer
had started between us, but it was way harder than I expected. While
Carter was away for two days, I felt like my life was on edge. It was as
if each time I tried to deny his existence, something would pop up in
my head, and then I’d want him all oHer again. It could be his rugged,
mature looks. 3e’s muscular and 7t and knows how to silence a room
with his presence. Other times, it’d be the smell of his cologne or the
delicacy in the way he spoke to me.
Then I’d think of the time we almost got into it. 3ow he’d wanted
me, how passionate he was, and yet so caring. 3e wasn’t all diHide and

DY
 CASSILN EAIqB

con8uer like most guys my age. Carter understood what it meant to

pleasure the body of a woman, how to treat her and cocoon her with
warmth and assurance. 3e didn’t eHen haHe to try hard to make me feel
these things. It came naturally to him. I’He fallen deeper than I want
and now feel like I’He been hung out to dry. So, I decided to see if I
could get around the biggest hurdle between us.
I came up with a fabrication. I told Amanda about a story I oHer-
heard at work where a young girl fell in loHe with her best friend’s
father. The 7rst 8uestion she asked was if the man loHed her too, and
I felt a Pare of excitement.
“Nes,” I’d replied. “I mean she said yes.”
Then she paused and snickered. “Still doesn’t make it right,
though.”
“Why not?” I asked. “They’re both adults?” I shrugged. “It’s not
like it’s pedophilia or anything.”
“Rabe, it’s her best friend’s father,” she said matter-of-factly. “qo
one likes that sort of thing. The relationship’s just weird. So now,
if they get married, the girl becomes the best friend’s stepmom? Oh
please.” She laughed. “It’s all manners of wrong. Imagine this, alright.
Roth of us are besties. Imagine, just imagine, you started going out
with my father.”
“Bw,” I wrinkled my face in disgust. That had to be the weirdest act
eHer because inside I felt shitty.
“Nou see?” she widened her eyes. “It’s just weird, and that girl’s
wrong for going out with that man. In my opinion, she neHer eHen
respected or loHed her friend in the 7rst place.”
Any chances I had to follow my gut and just be with Carter Pew
out the window following Amanda’s reaction and the pain was just

D—
 AE93A ROSS 9zOTBCTOz

as bad as an actual heartbreak. I’d contemplated not showing up to

work at all because I couldn’t face Carter at the moment. Seeing him
would just be rubbing it in my face that I couldn’t be with Carter no
matter how much I wanted. 3oweHer, staying home from work was
out of the e8uation. It’d just giHe Amanda the idea that something was
wrong, and it’d be eHen worse if she discoHered the reason. I couldn’t
look Carter in the face when he saw me. I couldn’t eHen answer him
properly. It felt as though someone was slowly skinning me aliHe,
enjoying the pain it caused as eHery second moHed by at a snail’s pace.
I wanted to be anywhere but with him because being close to him
would only remind me of how much I wanted him but couldn’t haHe
him. So, I was glad when he didn’t follow me into the oMce. A part
of me didn’t expect him to because we were in the oMce, and we’d all
be conscious of what the employees would think if he showed me that
kind of avection publicly.
I took the 7rst hour in my oMce to bawl my eyes out. I cried till
there was nothing more to giHe. Then I poured through the 7les on
my table and all the tasks I had to do. It was imperatiHe that I acted
normal. I couldn’t giHe anyone the impression that my life was a mess,
temporarily at least. Recause I couldn’t be with my best friend’s father.
After oMce hours, I couldn’t just go back home, get in bed, and heaHe
dryly as I waited for tears that would neHer come. I craHed something
to take the pain away, if only for a moment, and partying and drinking
seemed like the way to go. So, I found a nightclub.
The music inside was just how I wantedFloud and energetic. As I
sat before the marble top counter at the bar, downing my umpteenth
glass of Hodka martini, I could feel the stool tremble slightly as the
speakers boomed and the middle of the club teemed with moHing

D4
 CASSILN EAIqB

bodies. I’d been dancing for a while and decided to 7ll up on energy.
Suddenly, I heard a stool scrape beside me, and a fruity cologne 7lled
my nostrils. I turned to 7nd this SteHe zogers-looking guy smiling at
me, his green eyes 7xated on me as if I were a new toy.
“3i,” he said. “Can I buy you a drink?”
The bartender dropped an extra glass of Hodka martini before me at
that moment. I smiled at him and shrugged. “I think I already took
care of that.”
I emptied the glass without hesitation, grimacing slightly as the
spirits got to me. Then I slid the glass back to the bartender and asked
for another.
“Whoa!” the green-eyed guy exclaimed. “WhoeHer did this to you
must be running for their life.”
I tittered and moHed my hair away from my face as I looked at him.
“And what do you think they did?”
3e shrugged. “Loesn’t matter,” he said, leaning closer to me. “I just
know I’m not cra0y enough to do it to you. Come on, you’re too pretty
to be drinking alone. Eet me buy you a drink.”
;y head was already beginning to bu00, and the world was swaying
from under my feet.
“Lon’t worry about it,” I said. “It’s allF”
“Come on. I insist.”
The one rule about guys who wanted to buy you drinks in clubs
is to let them. They’d neHer stop until you giHe in. I might haHe been
drunk, but not drunk enough to forget that. And since I wanted to
pump my body full of drinks, why not just go for it?
“1ine. If you insist,” I said, placing an arm on the countertop to
steady myself as I felt myself tipping forward. “Rut don’t try to talk

…2
 AE93A ROSS 9zOTBCTOz

me into getting out of here. This club is my fun for tonight. And that
line is lame as hell.”
I bopped him on the nose, and he laughed. “Lon’t worry. I won’t
try something like that. I’ll try to change your mind while you drink,
and if it doesn’t work after the drink is 7nished, I’ll be on my way.”
I giggled and shrugged again. I didn’t mind the extra drink. It was
literally like a two for one. 3is free drink was just freeing up some of
my money for one extra glass.
As the bartender dropped the Hodka martini for me and a Rloody
;ary for him, he placed his hand on my upper thigh, s8uee0ed softly,
and leaned in real close. I kept my eyes on the hand on my lap, won-
dering what was going on.
“Nou sure you’re not ready for more fun?” he whispered. “Nou
know there’s a lot of fun you can’t haHe inside here.”
I wondered if the whisper was his way of turning on his sexy Hoice.
If it was, he wasn’t just failing he was starting to piss me ov.
I leaned in closer, closing the gap between our faces, and stared him
s8uare in the face. “Would you get your hands ov?” I asked.
3e smiled 8uickly and pulled back, taking his hand with him. “I’m
sorry for that.” 3e raised his hands.
I picked up my glass of Hodka martini and raised it to him as a toast.
Then I downed the entire thing.
“So, what’s it going to be?” he smiled. “Nou ready to get out of here
now? I promise you’re going to haHe way more fun than you’re getting
here.”
Without a second thought, I laughed in his face. “;an, if that’s the
line you use to pick up chicks at the club, you need to chill and return

…
 CASSILN EAIqB

to the drawing board. There’s clearly a lot you still haHe to to .” ;y

Hoice slowed a bit as a waHe of di00iness hit me. “Nou still haHe to learn.”
The man chuckled and patted his hair backward. “I pick girls up
from clubs, alright. Rut I don’t do that with pickup lines.”
Another waHe of di00iness hit me, this one stronger, and more
tenacious than the other. ;y eyes drooped closed, and I fought to
spread them open. “What the what the ?”
;y words slurred the harder I tried to speak. It was as if I was losing
control of myself, it felt as if my body was beginning to abandon me.
I wanted to ask what was going on but couldn’t bring my mouth to
moHe. ;y eyes were drooping closed now, and eHery time they did, it
took longer for me to open them back up. I was sleepyFincredibly
sleepy. Rut it’d been too sudden. I looked at the man and caught him
watching me intently. Then I saw the satisfaction in his eyes, and I
knew I was in trouble. I felt his arms around me as I pitched forward,
and eHerything went black.

…
 Eight

Carter

I’d taken a seat in a lounge full of noisy youngsters drinking themselves

to stupor, not because all the lounges were full or I couldn’t have one
arranged for me with the snap of a .nger, but this one gave me a better
vantage than othersW -illow had been speaking with the blondeThaired
man for a few minutes now, and my chest felt like a cord stretched to
the limitW xhough I tried to distance myself from everything, I couldn’t
help but hate the sight of the man sitting beside herW In my head, no
one was meant to speak with herW xhen he placed his hand on her lap,
and I almost leaped oB my chair and started dashing toward himW I
wanted to take that hand of his, snap it cleanly in two and stick it up
where the sun doesn’t shineW -hen they leaned close to each other,
looking like they were about to kiss, my heart ached e?cruciatinglyW
-illow was an adult and if she wanted to spend her adult life kissing
strangers in bars, she could knock herself outW 4ut why was I feeling
like someone was chopping my heart into pieces and sewing them back
together again, only to repeat the process3

CA
 SDYYILN EDIqH

Yuddenly, as —uick as a hawk, I caught the man slipping something

into her drink while he distracted her with the hand on her lap and
direct eye contactW In an instant, I was on my feet and pushing through
the densely packed crowd toward themW 4ut it wasn’t enoughW xhis
guy was —uicker than meW Qe had his arm around -illow’s waist as
she leaned against him, her feet shujing on the PoorW qobody saw
what was happeningW xhese kinds of sights were all too common in
places like thisW D couple would come in on their feet and oneOoften
the girlOwould have to leave, completely stoned and leaning on the
partner for supportW
I felt a surge of panic claw its way up my throat as they made it past
the bouncers at the door, and I moved —uicker, brushing people out
of my path without stopping to take in their protests or agitationsW Ds
soon as I burst out into the clean, —uiet night air, I spotted the man
helping -illow into the backseat of a red Dudi, and my brain Pushed
with rageW I stalked toward him, Pe?ing my wrist as I didW
Qe must’ve heard the sound of my footsteps oB the curb because
he turned around at that instant and stared at meW Immediately, he
slammed the passenger door closed and hurried over to the driver’s
sideW Ruickly, I sprang into action, running as if my life depended on
itW Qe’d gotten behind the wheel and started the car by the time I made
it there, but I shattered his window with my elbow and stuck an arm
in, grabbing him by the collar before he could push the stick shift into
driveW xhen I pulled him out and swung my .st at his faceW Instantly,
there was a loud crack, and he went limpW I dropped him on the ground
and checked for a pulseW Yatis.ed that he had one, I glanced at his
broken Maw and moved to retrieve -illow from the back seat, my chest

CC
 DEzQD 45YY z“5xHSx5“

still boiling with rageW Dt least, he’d wake up with a wireframe in his
Maw, but it was far less than he deservedW
”y heart melted the moment I saw -illow slumped in the backseat
like a discarded toyW Yhe was so helpless, so vulnerableW xhe thought
that that man could’ve had his way with her infuriated me and I
wanted to punish myself for letting it even come to thisW I didn’t know
where her apartment was located, so I took her to mineW Dmanda was
out of town to see a friend, and wouldn’t be back for three to four
days, giving me ample time to care for -illow till she wokeW
I watched her sleep all through the night, her face a mask of peaceW
Dnd every second that crawled past, I blamed myselfW If I hadn’t been
so concerned about what the people at work would think, I’d have
nipped this problem in the budW I’d have provided her with my comfort
and companyW I didn’t need to talkW Yhe didn’t have to tell me anythingW
I Must had to let her know that I had her backW 4ut I had to foolishly
hold on to ethics, had to care what everyone else would think of us and
it almost put her in dangerW xhat bastard would’ve done whatever he
wanted with her, and she’d never have knownW Yhe may have woken
feeling the eBects, but the deed would’ve already been doneW
Yometime in the night, she muttered something in her sleepW Dnd
it was only until the third time that I reali…ed she was calling my name
in her sleep, and it triggered something deep inside meW xhe longer I
stared at her, the less I saw of my daughter’s best friend, and the more
I saw of a woman who cared about me, and someone I cared about as
wellW
I was in the kitchen brewing coBee the ne?t morning when I heard
her scream in the bedroomW Dbandoning everything instantly, I rushed
toward the bedroom and almost got hit by my bedside lampW I moved

C6
 SDYYILN EDIqH

out of the way Must in time and it sailed right past, through the door,
and against the wall in the corridorW -illow gasped and covered her
mouth in shock, torn between me and the shattered lamp on the PoorW
UI’m sorry,G she apologi…edW UI thought7 I thoughtWG
UIt’s okay,G I said, holding a hand out, trying to pacify herW UIt’s okayW
Nou’re safeW I knowWG
Yhe inspected herself and Picked her eyes back to meW ULid he73G
Uqo, -illowW Qe wasn’t able to do anything to youW I didn’t let
himWG
Yuddenly, her face crumpled up as she was overwhelmed by emoT
tionW xhen she crossed the room in a second and threw herself on meW
I wrapped my arm around her as she cried and allowed her brown hair
to brush my palmW Yhe reeked of vodka martini, but mi?ed with her
natural scent7 I loved itW
I couldn’t tell how long we stood there, but I would’ve stood longer
Must to reassure her this time around that I would never let her goW
-illow pulled away from me, sni8ng, and said, Uxhank youWG
UNou’re welcomeWG xhen I looked her overW UI’m surprised that you
aren’t having any headachesWG
Yhe chuckled and looked up at meW U-ho says I’m not3 It’s not my
.rst time getting drunkW Dlthough I’m not sure I hit my cap of vodka
martinis last nightW Yo, the hangover is —uite little compared to what
I’ve e?periencedWG
I cocked my browW UYounds like an e?perience indeedW Lo you mind
some coBee3G
Uqo,G she shook her headW UDbsolutely notWG
Dfter coBee, we Must sat in bed, talkingW It’d been a while since I’d
done thatOtalkingW It always felt like a waste of time to me, like I

C9
 DEzQD 45YY z“5xHSx5“

could be doing better things with that timeW Qowever, with -illow, I
wasn’t Must idling time or having an airT.ller conversationW It was funW
It was intriguingW It was everything I could think aboutW Yhe was Must
the right dose of enthusiasm and energyW Yhe was like that lone candle
Pame that lit up a dark cave at the moment when it was most neededW
Dnd the longer I stayed with her, the more I found her irresistibleW
Yhe told me about her interest in photography and I told her what I
could about my time as a qavy YHDEW I noticed we were being careful
about bringing up Dmanda during our conversation and that worked
for meW I tried asking her why she showed up at work with a cloud over
her face, but when she began to stutter, I reali…ed she didn’t want to
talk about itW Yo, I changed the topicW
qighttime came upon us like an ambushW
U mm, I need to go to the bathroom,G -illow announced,
scratching her head a littleW UI’ll need a fresh supply of clothes tooW I’m
not sure I can get into this againWG
U-ell, you can sort out the clothes you’ll need from Dmanda’s
roomW I’ll need to sort o8ce work before going to bedWG
U-on’t she notice3G
UNou’ve been there beforeW -ill she3G
-illow clicked her tongueW U ood pointWG
Ds she moved to -illow’s room, which had all the cosmetics and
toiletries she’d need, I moved over to the table beside my bed, Pipped
open my laptop, and began to look through the .les that had been sent
to my mailW I’d informed the secretary a day ago to take over -illow’s
duties for the time being until she returned to the o8ceW
I must’ve been too caught up in my work because I didn’t notice
-illow walk inW It wasn’t until I caught the scent of lilac in the room

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 SDYYILN EDIqH

that I noticed something was diBerentW I turned around and caught

her watching meW Instantly, I felt my cock get hardW -illow was in
a large topOassumed to be one of Dmanda’sOthat stopped at her
thick upper thighsW It was a big gray top, but it lay against her body,
pronouncing the shape of her full breasts, and the curve of her hipsW
Qer nipples didn’t bother hidingW xhey were like pointy tips trying to
force themselves through the fabricW ”y heart raced as I feasted on her
bodyW I traced her straight brown hair all the way to her pink lips and
the lascivious glint in her eyesW
UEike what you see3G she asked, not bothering to hide the taunt in
her voiceW Yhe grabbed .stfuls of her top from the waist and tightened
it around her frame, etching out every curve and contour of her body,
and it drove me madW I pushed the chair backward, got to my feet, and
closed the distance between us in one secondW Yhe gasped slightly and
stared at me with so much longing as I towered over herW
I couldn’t speakW qot even if I wanted toW Dll I could think about
was her voluptuous body right in front of me, the body I’d desired and
craved since I .rst set eyes on her as an interviewee in my o8ceW xhis
was the same body that that bastard tried to claim, the same body that
some other guy may have touched before meW ”y muscles tightened
as a .erce wave of Mealousy surged through meW -ithout giving myself
the chance to think, I gripped her neck, with Must enough pressure to
make her know she wasn’t in danger, but this was my domain and I
was in controlW Yhe yelped a little, and that sound was like a bomb,
incinerating any defense I might have still had standingW I stared at her
lips, at the readiness on her face, and the plea in her eyesW xhen I tilted
my head and leaned in slowly kissing those soft pink lipsW

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 DEzQD 45YY z“5xHSx5“

It took every ounce of my will to keep from devouring her like a

mealW It was important to me that -illow understood she was safe,
and that I’d never hurt herW 4ut I also wanted her to know that she
was mine nowW Qer soft sweet pink lips, her ample ass, her beautiful
breasts7all belong to me and I take care of what is mineW xhe smell
of her body was gentle, sweet, and it was into?icatingW I upped the
heat threefold, kissing her with a thirst that she could only —uenchW
”y body, my entire being wanted her, and the way she was kissing me
back, she obviously wants me tooW Yticking my tongue into her warm
mouth and down her throat, I grabbed her left ass cheek and s—uee…ed
gently without releasing my grip on her neckW Qer ass felt so soft, so
full in my handW I wanted moreW I needed moreW
I pulled out of the kiss, grabbed her top by the neckline, and tore it
cleanly oB her bodyW Qer full breasts dangled into view together with
the rest of her smooth, supple skin, and black lace pantiesW I scooped
her up in my arms and carried her to the bedW Ds I did so, she wound
her arms around my neck and kissed me deeplyW

C
 Nine

Willow

My body trembled as Carter planted kisses on my neck. Every touch

of his warm wet kiss left a tinge of pleasure behind, a tinge that sent
shivers through my body until every kiss was like a gentle, low-volt
electric charge traveling over my entire body. I moaned and arched my
back when he fondled my left breast, expertly twiddling the nipple
between his thumb and index Hnger at the same time. Tis kisses kept
traveling, moving from my neck, down the middle of my breasts to
my stomach. ’hen he moved lower, getting so close to my aroused
core that I began to wiggle in hot anticipation, hoping, wishing eagerly
that heBd taste me. Put he moved to my inner thighs, then my legs, and
then he worked his way back up. 5lanting kisses as he moved down
my body. ’his time around, he came really close to wrapping his lips
around my pussy and I begged him to, but he skipped it again. It had
to be deliberate.
’he pent-up pleasure from the move dissipated, turning into frus-
tration that actually brought tears to my eyes, but I forgot all about
it when he wrapped his lips around my nipples and sucked on my

0A
 LO5TL PSRR 5—S’EC’S—

breasts. It wasnBt the Hrst time a guy had sucked on my nipples, but
it was the Hrst time I came so close to orgasm from it. If there was ever
someone who could be so Herce and passionate, yet so gentle and ten-
tative in lovemaking, it was Carter. I couldnBt wrap my head around
how he did it, but he did it, and it was like a trip to paradiseqwherever
it was.
I arched my back, moaned, and ran my hand around his broad back.
I sighed uncomfortably when I felt his clothes interfering with the
communication between my palms and his skin. Ro, I tugged at the
fabric of his shirt. Te pulled away immediately, juickly took oF his
clothes, and “oined me. ”inally, skin on skin.
Tis cock brushed my pussy and I yelped, spasming as he wrapped
his lips on my right breast, an eruption of chills went through my
body. It was as if he knew every spot on my body. Te was masterful,
a maestro in the art. Ls he sucked on my right nipple, he slid his hand
down, feeling my !esh and skin, and then he spread my pussy lips
apart. It was so wet that I could hear it sjuelching as he slid it open and
close with two Hngers. ’hen he began to play with my clit. I arched my
back and dug my nails into his muscular back as “olts of pleasure shot
from my clit to every part of my body.
1Lah,D I groaned, wiggling my hips. 1Sh, fuck yes. ”uck yesYD
L momentum of pleasure began to build from my depths as he
worked my clit. It grew like a cyclone, and the pressure of my arousal
was almost too much as he continued to work my center. Carter didnBt
give me breathing spaceqnot a single one. Te nibbled on my nipple
as if he were famished for the taste of my skin and savagely massaged
my clit. I loved it. It felt like a combustion of !avors in my head, and
all I was thinking about was simply the pleasure.

0N
 CLRRI…? OLIGE

1?es.D
’he momentum had grown so much now that I could feel it getting
ready to explodeqmuscles twitching, barely the breath to moan, back
arching thenza silent scream, air locked in my lungs, and I am blind
and !oating, not caring about my surroundings, only that Carter has
so much more to oFer then a “ob and sex.
I was still heaving, but I was ready to go, and I could see from the
Hre in CarterBs eyes that he wasnBt done with me yet. It was as if heBd
been waiting patiently for this moment. Te nudged me up gently on
all fours and slid beneath me until my center was directly above his
face.
1…id you think I would allow this to end before I have a tasteWD
Te plunged his tongue directly inside my core. 1LahzJodsYD Ll-
most losing my balance, I screamed in unwavering ecstasy. Ls Carter
steadied me, his ga2e reached my eyes, 1?ou taste like the single dew-
drop from a honeysucklezso sweet.D Carter then pulled his tongue
from my core and dragged it from the bottom of my center to my clit
and gently sucked until I almost exploded.
5anting and wondering if I can take anymore, I collapsed face down
on the bed. Carter managed to slide from underneath me and told
me to resume the position. Te gently lifted me up and placed me on
all fours again. 3ith my back facing him, he gripped my neck from
behind with one giant hand and said, 14ust so thereBs no confusion,
youBre mine and this includes your sweet honeysuckle.D Carter slipped
his raging cock into my pussy. It was so tight that I leaned forward,
gasping and moaning. Te was huge, and I loved it.
Te didnBt go all in at Hrst. Te “ust stopped about halfway like he was
testing the waters and thrusts slowly. ’hen it picked up from there.

0
 LO5TL PSRR 5—S’EC’S—

Te relaxed his hand from my neck and cupped my breasts with both
hands, then slowly, he pushed all of his cock in.
I couldnBt even Hnd the breath to moan. ”eeling all of him was
satisfying. It was as though my body was assimilating him, so I could
feel him with me all the time. Te went so deepqso fucking deep it felt
like his cock was trying to Hnd a way to my stomach.
1Lah,D I moaned, grinding my hips. Carter slipped out and slipped
in, then he repeated the same thing, only faster and faster until he
started ramming into me. Roon the sound of my moans Hlled the
room, broken into a staccato by every thrust Carter made. ’he force,
the primal hunger, knocked the strength out of my hands and pushed
me down to the bed, but he didnBt stop. Te was hungry for me, I
wanted more of him, and it felt as if the night would never end.
Carter and I Hnally giving this thing between us a chance felt like
the highlight of my life. 3eBd spent all night through the early hours of
the morning “ust engaging in juickies and a few extended lovemaking
sessions like teenagers whoBd been freed from their restraint. Sne
would think we were virgins trying to escape an apocalypse made for
virgins. Put we understood that with Lmanda returning soon, we may
never have this kind of chance again, except in the o ce. Lnd o ce
sex, though exciting in its own way, wasnBt as expressive as this.

13hat in the hell is going onWYD

I !ipped my eyes open, and saw Lmanda in the doorway, staring at
the naked bodies of her best friend and her father, her face plastered
with horror, and knew that IBd messed up big-time.

0
 CLRRI…? OLIGE

3e were screwedY Rcrewed in the most fucked-up way possible.

Carter and I both struggled for the same bedsheet to cover our-
selves. 3eBd kind of gotten tired and careless after the last round and
succumbed to the welcoming arms of sleep afterward. Gow, there was
no getting out. If there was an award for the best representation of
getting caught red-handed, it would go to us indisputably.
13hat in the hellYD Lmanda screamed again, this time with her face
growing crimson. L rash of goosebumps broke across my skin as I felt
deeply ashamed.
1?ouYD Lmanda stabbed a Hnger in my direction, her eyes painfully
wide. 1?ouY 3illowY 3ith my dadY My own fatherYD Ter eyes Hlled up
with tears and they began to streak down her face. ’hen her forehead
crinkled as she narrowed her eyes in disbelief. 1?ouBre in bed with my
fatherYD
My lips trembled as I tried to speak. 1Iz IBmz IBmz soz itBsz
ummz itBsz.D
1Paby, I can explain,D Carter said.
1…onBt you dareYD Lmanda glared at him. 1…ammit, donBt you
dareY 3hyWYD Rhe grimaced. ’he pain in her face scratched at my heart,
making it bleed. 13ere you hornyW ?ou couldnBt Hnd anyone else to
have sex withWD
1Lmanda, thatBs no way toqD Carter started to say, but she silenced
him with a stare. ’hen she looked at me, disappointment and venom
in her eyes, and I felt like the world had “ust come to an end.

0
 LO5TL PSRR 5—S’EC’S—

’he longest days are the days when you feel the most hurt. I never
knew someone could still be alive and see inexplicable pain until the
aftermath of LmandaBs discovery. ’he days crawled by like a big,
cranky trawler in the open sea. My heart stank of betrayal, shame, and
embarrassment. IBd let my best friend down in the most horriHc way
possible. I missed Lmanda. ’he past week IBd been indoors, IBve been
trying to reach out to her, to apologi2e, but she never picked up my
calls. It hurts to know I hurt her like this, and IBd do anything to make
up for what IBd done. I couldnBt lose her. ’hat was the truth, but every
time I ran it through my mind, it “ust felt like I was lying. Ls I lay in
bed or nestled on the couch, I still longed for Carter, ached for his
touch, and wanted to hear his deep and reassuring voice. If he were
present, IBd bury my face in his broad chest, succumb to its warmth
and the thrum of his heartbeat and “ust cry. Te wouldnBt say a word.
Te wouldnBt make a sound, and thatBs exactly what I needed at the
moment. Ironically, the person who would take my pain away was also
the reason I was aching so. My world had suddenly gone bitter.
I missed Carter.
Put was I ready to lose him tooW I was in an impossible dilemma,
and I hated it.

00
 Ten

Carter

I didn’t tell anyone in the ocwe Why billoW had seen ufddenly asuent
rmov the kmv rom o.em a WeeNp gone or thev Weme the souup I’d sfilt
the wov,any rmov the xmofnd f, aloneY sy vyuelrp got one or thev
deuem.ed an eB,lanationp TetY au I wave into the ocwe day artem dayY
I wofldn’t hel, sft notiwe the utameup It wofld’.e seen in vy headp It
wofld’.e notY sft I wofld uWeam that all or thev Weme tellinx ve With
theim eyeu that they NneWp I Wau ha.inx ueB With an ev,loyeeY vy oWn
dafxhtem’u seut rmiendY and noW thinxu had xone aWmyp I’d ,fsliwly
uwolded a reW ev,loyeeu rom utaminx at vep jft I vixht ha.e uwolded too
vfwh that ,eo,le Weme sexinninx to a.oid vaNinx eye wontawt With
ve entimelyp I didn’t wamep I didn’t xi.e a Ayinx rfwN asoft theim eyeup
5he only ,emuon’u eyeu I Wanted to looN intoY eyeu I en6oyed When
they looNed into vineY Wau noWheme neamp Lu a vattem or rawtY We vixht
not se uhaminx ,moBivity anyvomep 5he laut tive I uaW hem vixht au
Well se the laut tive I Will e.em uee hemp Lnd the thofxht uwamed veY
ufm,miuinxlyY vome than I’d seen uwamed or anythinx e.emp 5hat Wau hoW
I NneW billoW had eaten into ve Way dee,em than I’d thofxhtp

PH
 LOSRL jECC S-E5M“5E-

Rem WomN in the ocwe sewave an eBtmap -athem than looN rom anoth?
em auuiutant to ev,loyY I tooN it onY fuinx the eBtma WomN to owwf,y tive
and Nee, ve aWay rmov hove au vfwh au ,ouuislep Lvanda wofldn’t
e.en looN at ve artem the inwident and Wofldn’t e.en heam a Womd
or What I uaidp got e.en vy ,leaup bhen uhe thmeatened to lea.e the
hofueY I NneW I had to xi.e hem uove u,awep CoY I u,ent vome tive
amofnd the kmvp I e.en sexan taNinx f, WomN rmov othem ev,loyeeu
6fut uo I wofld utf” vy vind and Nee, it rmov Wandeminx toWamd the
veuu I’d vade or vyuelrp Inutead or ,fuhinx a,,ointventu aWayY I
Welwoved thev With eaxemneuu and had vy uewmetamy kll f, any rmee
u,awe in vy uwhedflep jft vy vind alWayu Wandemedp go vattem hoW
hamd I tmied to Nee, it meined inY it alWayu uli,,ed oft or wontmolp
Ky ocwe ,hone manxY una,,inx ve oft or anothem tmain or thofxht
Wheme I ivaxined that thinxu Weme a sit di”ement setWeen billoW
and vep Ir only uhe had seen a utmanxemY We wofld’.e seen toxethemp
I Wofldn’t ha.e to sothem asoft a dafxhtem a,,mehendinx ve om the
,ain or ha.inx billoW aWay rmov vep
VTeuY yeup belwove to “amtem Cewfmity “om,uY yofm seut set rom
uaretyp RoW wan I se or uem.iwe7D In the sawN or vy vindY I Wondemed ir
thiu Wau hoW the mewe,tioniut did itp Lu the wlient dmoned on asoft hoW
iv,omtant they thofxht they Weme and hoW they’d ufddenly sewove
,fsliw enevy nfvsem one o.emnixhtY vy eyeu Wandemed amofnd the
tasle and then landed on a ,ewfliam os6ewtY and vy wheut ma,idly klled
f, With rmeuh ,ainp It Waun’t uf,,oued to se vfwhp It Wau a smoWn
vanila en.elo,e I’d Wmitten V—ee, In 8ieWD on a wof,le or WeeNu sawNp
RoWe.emY it Waun’t the en.elo,e that wlaWed at vy heamt liNe an anivalY
it Wau the ,emuon that’d uent the en.elo,e to vy ocwep

PF
 “LCCIzT OLIgM

billoW had WalNed into vy ocwe talNinx asoft hoW one Katt
L,atoW Wau xettinx on hem nem.eu With hiu inweuuant watwallu to hem in
the ocwe hallWayup Ky kmv soauted at leaut a ,omtrolio or a hfndmed
,mi.ate ,moreuuional uewfmity axentup CoY theme Wau no Way I wofld at?
tawh a rawe to a ,amtiwflam navep RoWe.emY uinwe billoW had wonutantly
ueen thiu xfy hamauuinx hemY it Wau eauiem rom hem to ,in,oint hiu kle
and xi.e ve a rawep Lu uoon au I xot oneY uhe ,ointed ve in the mixht
dimewtionY and I WalNed utmaixht oft to veet hivp I mewalled that day au
.i.idly au ir it Weme 6fut yeutemdayp
It Wau tive rom the lfnwh smeaNp Katt Wau oft With hiu xfyu at the
waretemiaY uittinx at one or the tasleu wlouem to the doomY I auufved it Wau
uo they wofld xet a dimewt and wleam .ieW or anyone Who WalNed inY and
,emha,u Whiutle at billoW When uhe didp Riu annoyinxY thmoaty lafxh
Aoated awmouu to ve and I WalNed uloWly and ,fm,ouerflly toWamd hiu
tasleY vy handu kmvly tfwNed sehind vep Re Wau a smatp I wofld uee itp
Re Wau one or thoue xfyu Who thofxht they Weme somn ,minweuY somn
to send a ximl o.em and eBtmawt the enemxy mixht oft or hemp jautamdu Who
thofxht hamauuinx Woven Wau theim uf,meve mixhtp bellY not billoWY
and deknitelyY not on vy Watwhp
VKattYD I walled au he nfdxed a rmiend on the uhofldemY lafxhinxp Re
looNed f, at veY and the vimth raded a littlep
VjouuYD he xmeetedY looNinx f, at vep VIt’u an honom to ha.e yof at
vy tasle todayY souup bhat wan I do rom yof7 “ame to 6oin any or fu rom
a vealpD
I xmitted vy teeth and relt liNe ,lfxxinx vy eamup It Wau os.iofuqhe
lo.ed to heam hivuelr talNp Riu .oiwe vfut wove o” to hiv liNe to,?wlauu
o,emap jft it Wau 6fut a sfnwh or Whinxy aim noteu ,modfwed sy hiu

PG
 LOSRL jECC S-E5M“5E-

lfnxup CoY I Went utmaixht to the ,ointp 5he uoonem I didY the uoonem I
xot to xet oft or themep
Vgeed I mevind yof the wonditionu rom yofm ev,loyventY Katt7D I
auNedp
9fmmoWu a,,eamed on hiu smoWu inutantly and the lafxhtem .aniuhed
rmov hiu rawep
Vzid I do uovethinx WmonxY jouu7D
I looNed hiv utmaixht in the eyeY holdinx hiu xa0eY enufminx that he
uaW that I Waun’t to se tmiAed Withp
VI auNed yof a 1feutionYD I uaid kmvlyp VI eB,ewt to xet an anuWem and
not a 1feution in meu,onuepD
Riu rmiendu uhirted in theim ueatuY wleamly fnwovromtaslep
VgoY uimYD he me,liedp
V oodYD I nodded iv,emwe,tislyp VI Want yofm kle handed o.em to
billoW fnrailinxly todayp It uhofld se on vy deuN in the vomninxp
geBt tiveY yof thinN tWiwe serome hamauuinx an ev,loyee or vy kmv
in the hallWayupD
It tooN a vinfteY sft I uaW the mewoxnition daWn on hivp Re looNed
at ve and utamted to uay uovethinxY sft I Wau o”p 5he kle wave au
eB,ewted that vomninx With billoW auNinx ve ir I’d ,aid the xfy a .iuit
in hiu dmeavup
Vbhy7D I xmfntedp
Vjewafue he looNed uwamed au uhit When he xa.e ve the kle yeutem?
dayYD uhe lafxhedp VLnd wof,led With that he Wau a,oloxetiw au hellpD
I Wau utill tmyinx to Nee, hem at amv’u lenxth at the tiveY sft I Waun’t
fnaWame or hoW hem wleam lafxhtem manx liNe a vfuiwal inutmfvent in
itu eleventp Em hoW the uhine in hem eyeu and hem madianwe ,ft u,amNu

P
 “LCCIzT OLIgM

in the aimp L yofnx Wovan liNe that didn’t deuem.e to se watwalled liNe
uove ulftp Che deuem.ed the seutqnothinx sft the .emy seutp
VTof let ve NnoW ir uovethinx liNe thiu ha,,enu axainYD I told hemp
VCimY yeuY uimYD uhe uaidY ,fttinx the uide or a kmv hand to the womnem
or hem romeheadY and taNinx it o” With a Aofmiuhp
I rmoWnedp Vbhat Wau that7D
VL ualfteY or wofmueYD uhe me,liedY uhowNed that I hadn’t xotten the
xeutfmep VIun’t that hoW yof do it in the ga.y CMLO7D
VI Wau 6fut ,fllinx yofm lexpD
Rem eyeu lit f, thenY liNe lixhtsflsup
5he vevomy smofxht a uvile to vy raweY an inuf”emasle doue or
heamtawheY and I viuued a wonuidemasle avofnt or What the wlient
had uaid o.em the ,honep RoWe.emY When he auNedY VCoY What do yof
ufxxeut7D I uaidY Withoft viuuinx a seatY V et to vy mewe,tioniut and
eB,lain yofm detailu vome wamerfllyY While yof alloW fu the tive to
wove f, With uovethinx tailomed 6fut rom yofpD
I hea.ed a uixh au uoon au he xot o” the ,honep 5hen I looNed at the
wlowNp I’d utayed too lonx almeadyY tmyinx to delay the ine.itaslep I didn’t
wove in With enofxh whanxe or wlotheup I had to metfmn hovep
I NnowNed on Lvanda’u sedmoov doom and the vovent uhe looNed
at veY hem eyeu Aauhed With diua,,ointvent and ,ainp I didn’t NnoW
hoW lonx vy little ximl Wau xoinx to WalN amofnd nfmuinx thiu anxem rom
veY sft it hfmtp
VLvandaY ,leaueYD I ,leaded au I WalNed inp VIt’u seen o.em a WeeN
almeadyp I’v uommyp I Waun’t thinNinx wleamlypD
VEhY rom onweY zadY yof Wemen’t thinNinx wleamlyp It woveu to bil?
loWY and yofY or all ,eo,leY Wemen’t thinNinx wleamlyp Che Wau yofm
dafxhtem’u rmiendY wof,led With that uhe Wau aluo yofm ev,loyeep 5Wo

H
 LOSRL jECC S-E5M“5E-

meauonu Why yof uhofld ha.e thofxht axain asoft the Voft or ocwe
eB,emienwe With the souuD yof’.e ,mosasly WomNed on uinwe yof himed
hemp I’v ,metty ufme yof thofxht asoft that and 6fut dewided to xet hem
in yofm sed anyWaypD
VjftY LvandaY I Waun’t 6fut veuuinx With hemp I tmfly wame asoftqD
Che hiuued and utamed at ve liNe I Wau viuuinx the Whole ,ointp VIt
doeun’t vattemYD uhe uaidY eyeu teaminx f,p VTof utill thinN yof’me in the
mixhtpD
Che salled hem kutuY tfmnedY and WalNed o”Y lea.inx ve a veuu wafxht
in setWeen tWo ,laweup I wofldn’t seam thiu mirt With vy dafxhtem While
the thofxht or ne.em ueeinx billoW axain Wau liNe a thomn in vy heamtp
I WalNed o.em to the rmidxeY ,flled oft a sottle or whilled seem and
WalNed o.em to the ,atio to dminN itp
What am I going to do? I thofxhtp

H
 Eleven

Willow

As I walked up to the door to Amanda’s house for the umpteenth time

since the incident, I felt completely like shit. I told myself I wouldn’t
stop apologizing until she vnally forgabe me. I got it. I made a huge
mistake, Eut it killed me that she wouldn’t eben gibe me a chance
to apologize. Bbery single time, she killed the apology Eefore I eben
started. Wut I couldn’t lose her. -e’d Eeen through too much together.
As I ascended the short jight of stairs, I Earely noticed the jowC
erpots that lined the porch or the obergrown lawn Ey each side of
the walkway. It was as if the house was proMecting the emotional and
mental state of its owners. All the times I’d turned up at her home,
Harter had Eeen aEsent. Bben today, some part of me wished that I’d
see him, eben if it was Must a glimpse. Ty heart had ached for him
ceaselessly. I’d dreamed aEout him, that his arms were wrapped around
me, and my face Euried against his solid chest. 6e’d tell me eberything
was okay, and I’d Eeliebe him. 2hen I’d wake up and realize we were
worlds apart, struggling to deny our feelings for each other for the one
person that kept us connected, someone we lobed as well.

LP
 AOS6A WRxx S“R2BH2R“

I rapped my knuckles on the freshly painted gray door, halfCe?pectC

ing no one to Ee at home. Wut then it jew open, and Amanda stood
in the doorway with a straight face. xhe looked eberywhere Eut at me.
”-hat do you wantqY she asked indiDerently.
I thought I’d Eawled my eyes out this morning, Eut fresh tears Must
came right through.
”Amanda.Y Ty boice caught in my throat. ”Amanda, I’m sorry. I
did something horriEle, alrightq And I know. Wut I’m sorry.Y
I could see her eyes get wet and her lips Uuiber as she tried to look
elsewhere. 2hen she sniDed and Eegan to Eack away. ”I don’t habe time
for this,Y she said.
“acked with desperation, I reached out and graEEed her on the
wrist. ”Slease,Y I soEEed. ”Slease, I’m Eegging you, Amanda. 3ou can
punish me any way you would like. Wut please.Y
Amanda paused and stared right past me. I followed her gaze and
caught the neighEor in the house across the street from hers, staring
right at us like we were a spectacle. Amanda hissed, spun on her heels,
and walked in, leabing the door open. I took that as my cue. I walked
in immediately, shut the door Eehind me, and went after her.
xhe’d Earely crossed the libing room when I held her gently Ey the
wrist. ”Slease, Amanda,Y I Eegged, ”talk to me. I’ll take any punishC
ment you habe, Eut please talk to me.Y
xhe shook her head. 2hen yanked her arm away from me and faced
me sUuarely. ”Ty fatherq -illowqY xhe narrowed her eyes. ”“eallyq
Ty fatherq Rut of all the guys in xan Niego, you choose to sleep
with my fatherq In his Eedroomq Gnder this roofq 2ell me.Y 6er face
wrinkled in disgust. ”Is this what you’be Eeen doing in the o!ceq

L4
 HAxxIN3 OAIFB

-hen you two pretend to work so seamlessly, are you actually Mumping
each other’s EonesqY
I wanted to say no, Eut then I rememEered that one time when we
went at it and then she walked in almost catching us, and my response
caught in my throat.
”Rh my 5od,Y Amanda jung her arms up in despair. ”“eallyq—Y
xhe clawed at her hair and clasped her face.
”Fo, no, no, Amanda.Y I reached for her. ”It’s not what you think.
I swear to 5od. It’s not what you think.Y
”-hat do I think, -illow—Y xhe glared at me. ”-hat the fuck do I
think—Y
I Eroke into another soE. ”I swear to 5od, Amanda, we work. It was
only the one time when we let our emotions get the Eetter of us. Rnly
once, and we haben’t eber done it in the o!ce again.Y
”xo, you Must decided to rearrange a rendezbous at his house instead.
Home ober when Amanda’s out of town and you two can habe your
own little honeymoon.Y xhe shook her head. I could taste her disapC
pointment and Eetrayal. 2he air reeked of it. I didn’t know what to
do. Ty helplessness was like a ragged monster trying to claw its way
up my throat. Ty chest was on vre, my heart mired in too much pain,
and there was a tightening knot in my stomach. I hadn’t eaten in days.
I couldn’t vnd the appetite to do so with all the pain around.
”3ou were my friend, -illow,Y Amanda said, staEEing her vnger at
me. ”3ou were my Eest friend, one of the few people in the world I
took seriously, and you Eetrayed me. 3ou connibed with my father.Y
”I’m sorry,Y I cried. ”I’m truly sorry.Y I wiped the tears hurriedly and
mobed closer, trying to talk all Eusinesslike. ”Rkay, Amanda, tell me
what you want me to doq xtop seeing your father, I will. I’be already

LJ
 AOS6A WRxx S“R2BH2R“

stopped seeing him. I’be stopped going to work already. I won’t see
him eber again.Y I couldn’t tell her that Ey saying that out loud, I felt
like I was Eeing sawed in two. I lobed the man, I realized. 2he thought
of not seeing him hurt Must as much as the real thing. Maybe you should
let her know, a boice said at the Eack of my mind.
”Amanda, please,Y I Eurst into fresh hot tears.
Amanda scoDed and wiped her tears with the Eack of her hand.
”xo, this is why you came to me with that stupid story of a coworker’s
friend who was dating a Eest friend’s dad. 2hat was you, wasn’t itq
2hat whole story was Must made up.Y
I nodded. ”3es, it was.Y
”Rh, 5od. I’be Eeen a fool.Y
”I’m sorry, truly.Y
”Wut whyq -illow, whyq Is this like a fantasy or somethingq 3ou’re
attracted to older menq And you decided to start with my fatherq Ty
own fatherqY
”Fo, Amanda. It’s not that. It’s more than that.Y
”2hen what then—Y
I felt as if something snapped inside me, Eut not at her. ”Wecause
I’m in lobe with your father—Y I vred Eack. ”I’m in lobe with Harter.Y
Vor a while, Amanda was Uuiet, like I’d Must caught her oD guard
or something. And after much longer, the silence Eegan to kill me.
”Amanda, please, say something.Y
xhe turned and looked at me. ”6ow do you know you’re in lobe
with my fatherqY she asked. ”6ow do you know you don’t Must think
you lobe himqY xhe shook her head. ”3ou’be had se? with him and
now you lobe himq 5od. Han you eben listen to yourself, -illowq
And when did you start thinking you lobed himq After you’d lusted

L7
 HAxxIN3 OAIFB

for himq After you couldn’t keep your hands to yourselfq 3ou know
people get hung up on other people after great se?, rightq xo, you’be
met someone who’s really that good in Eed, and you don’t want to
leabe him.Y xhe narrowed her eyes. ”3ou know why you can’t leabe
him, -illowq It’s Eecause he’s had more women to deal with in his
entire life than any of the younger guys you think you don’t like. 3ou
habe se? with my father, and you start to think you two are made for
each otherqY
xhe pinched her forehead. ”Rh, my 5od. I can’t Eeliebe this is going
on.Y
”2hat’s not it, Amanda. I swear.Y
”xo, you’re not thinking of sleeping with him againq It’s not the
se?ual encounter that’s still got you like thisqY
”It’s not, Amanda. I promise, it’s not.Y
”xo, what do you like aEout him, huhqY xhe folded her arms across
her chest. ”-hat’s his faborite colorq Vaborite foodq Vaborite wineqY
I stood there staring at my Eest friend, my heart torn to shreds, and
I couldn’t come up with anything other than the feeling in my heart
that I lobed her father.
xhe shook her head. ”And to think I almost started feeling sorry for
you.Y
”I’ll do anything, Amanda,Y I said. ”Slease, I’ll forget I eber said
this.Y
”I asked you a Uuestion when you lied to me aEout your colleague’s
friend dating her Eestie’s dad, and I’m going to ask you one now. 6ow
would you habe reacted if you came Eack from a trip only to see your
Eest friend stark naked in Eed with your fatherq 6ow would you feel

LL
 AOS6A WRxx S“R2BH2R“

if you found out that I’d Eeen sleeping with your fatherq 3ou’d laugh
ober it and mobe on, rightqY
I couldn’t say a thing Eecause she was right. I’d totally freak out.
xhe sighed. ”3ou need to leabe, -illow. I really can’t Ee around you
right now.Y
”Slease8Y I started to say, Eut she cut me oD with a wabe of her
hand.
”-illow, please. ust gibe me some space, alrightqY
”Rkay.Y I nodded and sniDed. ”I’ll gibe you space, Eut please, know
that you don’t habe to forgibe me now. ust tell me what I must do,
and I’ll try to earn your forgibeness and trust. xhe didn’t say another
word to me, so I took that as my cue.
As I walked out of the house, my heart stopped Eeating for a second.
Harter was also walking right up the stairs and had frozen upon seeing
me. 6is eyes were heaby with emotions as he stared at me, I stared right
Eack unaEle to pull my eyes away, Eut not Eecause I was enthralled,
Eecause we Eoth knew the same thing eben without speaking to each
other. It was ober. -e longed for each other, and we couldn’t Eecause
this was wrong on so many lebels.
As if someone had hit the play Eutton on a 2 set, I turned away
and walked right past him. I didn’t eben catch the smell of his cologne
or any of the things I used to notice aEout him like the way he kept his
hair or that his Eeard had obergrown8none of that. I Eottled up my
feelings and kept myself from feeling that.
Harter and Amanda were still on my mind when I stepped out of
a ta?i and Eegan to cross the road to my apartment. I’d neber Eeen so
torn Ey anything in my life, Eut I was going to lose one of them. I knew
I was.

L
 HAxxIN3 OAIFB

I didn’t realize I’d stepped right into the road until it was too late.
2he last thing I saw was a ta?i speeding towards me. 2he screeching of
tires vlled my ears, the smell of Eurning tires cloyed my nostrils, and
then I felt the impact and saw Elack.

L
 Twelve

Carter

I used to think nothing hurt more in the world than the pain of
someone you cared about. I’d found that to be truer in the days fol-
lowing Amanda’s discovery of my relationship with Willow. But it was
truest when I found out that Willow had gotten into an accident. It
was like the qrst time I lost a sNuad member as a Savy ELA—. I was
broken,completely split down into my basic parts. I was in the oTce
when Amanda called me and broke the news to me. I felt defeated. I
felt like a failure. I’d promised her that I was going to protect her from
what the world threw at herx that I was going to keep her safe. 6his
wasn’t some guy slipping something into her drink and trying to have
his way with her. 6his was an accident. Ehe’d got hit by a car.
Ehe’d probably be in some hospitalx hooked to machines right nowx
qghting for her life. 6he thought of Willow nearing the end of her lifex
imagining that she might not be on earth for long was torture,the
worst I’d ever e9perienced. It burned harder than pepper spray in my
eyes and stung more than a stun gun. But I was caught at a precipice.
I couldn’t properly process my pain because I couldn’t go see her. If

CD
 YAEEIjP —AISL

these were her last momentsx I couldn’t spend them with her. Sot
unless I wanted to anger Amanda.
6hat girl had been through a lot since her mom’s death. Lven
though she was with her grandparentsx she basically took care of her-
self while I was away on assignments. Ehe’d take the time to call me
whenever she couldx and I’d listen to her try to cheer me up or get me
through a diTcult task. 6hen she’d tell me she missed me or loved me
and couldn’t wait to have me back. At the timex I could understand
the mind of a young girl who’d lost one of her parents and didn’t want
to lose the other. Ehe was the reason I decided against taking my career
as a Savy ELA— any further. After everything she’d donex I had to be
there for her Kust as she’d been for me in my toughest years.
Eox I couldn’t wrong her. I blamed myself for letting my Kob take me
away for such a prolonged period and wanted to use this new time I
had with her to show her that I loved her. And as much as it stungx
her feelings were right. 6hey were absolutely validated. Eeeing your
parent in bed with your best friend was not the kind of surprise anyone
wanted to walk into. 7remeditation didn’t even make it any easier. I
knew I’d have beat the hell out of my best friend if I’d caught him in
bed with my mom. As a resultx I refrained from going after Willowx
from asking after her. As a matter of factx I tried to move on and
pretend that she was Kust some friend of Amanda’s who got into an
accident.
It Kust made everything a whole lot worse.
I couldn’t stay in the oTce anymore. 6here were Kust too many
reminders. It was as though Willow had made the place her own in the
short time she’d spent there. Wherever I lookedx her presence seemed
to 0oat aboutx invisible yet palpable. Hnowing that she was literally

OR
 A—7VA B?EE 7z?6LY6?z

lying in a hospital a hair’s breadth away from death worsened the

feeling. Eox I began to spend more time at homex lying in bedx sitting
on the couchx staring at the 6“x smoking cigars in my studyx or sitting
out back by the pool. All the time it felt as if I was cooking from the
inside. If pain had a temperaturex mine would have gone way past a
hundred degrees. I wanted the pain to stopx yet I knew it wouldn’t.
Willow was hurt. Ehe was in pain. And there was nothing I could do
about it. Eometimesx I’d wish that I was the one who had been hit
by that car instead of her. But wishes weren’t horsesx and I’d Kust sit
therex stewing in a puddle of my own sorrow. What else would I do
if Willow lost her life” It was one of those moments that I reali1ed I
loved Willow. I loved her to the death. But I loved my Amanda too.
6his whole scenario is Kust so messed up.
?ne afternoonx about three days after Willow’s accidentx as I sat
beside the poolx the sun beating down hard on mex Amanda slid the
glass door open and stepped out into the backyard.
MVeyxF she called outx Myou want to step in for a minute.F
I looked at her and smiled. MSox baby. It’s qne. I’m okay over here.F
MYome onx it’s hot outside. 6he sun’s harsh and you’re not even
sitting under a parasol.F
I put on a smile for her. MIt’s alright. I’m okay.F
Ehe didn’t seem satisqed. I didn’t know what to dox but I knew I was
in no mood to get out of the sun. If it was badx then it was a suitable
punishment for everything. I’d always felt that I hadn’t been punished
enough for all the things I’d done as an active ELA—. But everything
happening at the time seemed as good as any punishment. I was at war
with my daughter while the woman I loved battled for her life.

O2
 YAEEIjP —AISL

Amanda heaved a sigh. 6hen she walked over to the poolsidex and
brought the parasol overx casting a shade over me. I didn’t know how
much my skin needed that until she did. …y whole body felt like it’d
been steaming for too long. Ehe sat in the armchair right ne9t to me
and was Nuiet for a while. I reali1ed this was the qrst time she was
close to me since the incidentx and I decided to make good use of the
opportunity.
Junderstand if you need space or anything. I Kust want you to know
Willow and I wasn’t premeditated. What you saw wasn’t a one-night
stand or a get-together fueled by lust. We Kust happened. And Kust so
you knowx we’d tried to keep away from each otherx to respect you and
work and be formalx but it Kust didn’t work. Vonestlyx with her a lot of
thingsx a lot of my rigid principles don’t seem to work.F zeali1ing that
I was beginning to say things that might make her madx I kept silent
and waited for her reaction. I wanted her to have one for me because
it’d mean that she hadn’t decided to leave her father for the dogs.
MjadxF she called.
MPeah.F
MWhy her”F
In a way I couldn’t e9plainx I knew e9actly what she was asking.
MI know it sounds bonkersx Amandax but I love her. I love her for
bringing me back to life. Ehe made me reali1e I was missing somethingx
and that work was Kust me trying to qll a hole and failing. If I wasn’t
so sure thenx I’m sure now. I don’t want to lose herx Amanda.F
MI’ve been doing a lot of thinkingxF she said. MIt’s been a while since
I saw you like this.F
M—ike how”F

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 A—7VA B?EE 7z?6LY6?z

MEhould I say vulnerable”F she askedx wincing a little as she bounced

her head from side to sidex trying to qgure out the correct word. MI’d
say vulnerable although not too vulnerablex e9pressivex Kust the way
you were with …om. After her deathx I noticed you never let a lot
of emotions out. Pou bottled everything up and toughened up Kust
like you’d learned in the Savy. Pou were still my father. I could feel
the 0ame of your love inside.F Ehe Kabbed at her chestx but you’d
kept everything behind thick walls. But since you and Willow became
a thingx those walls have melted o . I’ve watched you these couple
of weeks pretendx having to cover feelings that are nagging to be let
outx and then ever since Willow’s accident you’ve been so openly
distraught.F
Ehe sighed and pressed her lips into a thin line. MI know the situation
sucksx but I can’t deny my feelings either. It’s nice to see this side of
you again. I love Willow. Ehe’s my friendx and as much as I’d have
preferred that the woman behind this change was someone other than
my best friendx I love you more. And if Willow is going to bring my
dad back .F Ehe smiledx that smile that used to brighten me up on
dark days. M6hen have at her.F
I felt like someone had Kust lifted a tarp from over my face. I walked
over to her and pulled her into an embrace. I didn’t know how much
I’d missed the sound of her laughter until I heard it. It was pure Koy.
MAndx jadxF she saidx holding out a warning qnger when I put her
down. MWillow’s my best friend. 6he fact that you’re my father doesn’t
mean I’ll be happy if you hurt her.F
M6rust mexF I saidx tucking her hair behind her ear. MI wouldn’t hurt
her for anything in the world. ust as I wouldn’t hurt you.F

O
 Thirteen

Willow

The rsti ihnga ihci osdttem yI yngm ct p wnffem yI eIet dfeg lct
ihci p ue.i cluv.b p lct tdse c.. d’es cgm ihe tdvgm du keefnga lctgxi
ihe Sngm du yvtno p lct eDfeoinga id lcSe vf idb p Sgel p hcm id ke
ng c hdtfnic. keocvte c tivfnm msn’es mnmgxi Sgdl hdl id gc’nacie ihe
tiseeit ng Ocg jneadb As p lct Mvti tivfnm egdvah id lc.S ngid ihe tiseei
lnihdvi ihngSngab Theg p dfegem yI eIet cgm tcl “ycgmc .ddSnga
mdlg ci ye cgm c.. ihdte ihdvahit wel dvi ihe lngmdlb
Amanda. She’s here. HI hecsi le..em vf lnih avn.i cgm seydsteb
,”eI?Y the tcnm? tyn.ngab ,”dlxse Idv mdngazY
,p uee. .nSe oscf? “ycgmcb pxy tdssIbY
,Oh? th? thbY Ohe thddS hes hecm ng mntcffsd’c. cgm he.m c rgaes id
hes ydvihb ,Cdv mdgxi hc’e id cfd.dan…e?Y the tcnmb ,Cdv Mvti adi dvi
du cg coonmegi? cgm ihe rsti ihnga Idv lcgi id md nt cfd.dan…e id yez
7dye dgb pxy gdi c meydg? dScIzY
,Od? mdet ihci yecg4mdet ihci yecg pxy udsan’egzY
,CechbY Ohe gdmmemb ,Au odvste? Idvxse udsan’egbY

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 “BR”“ EAOO RWATN7TAW

p eDhc.em lnih se.neub Thci lct ihe keti uee.nga pxm hcm ng leeStb
pi lct ct nu tdyedge hcm vgo.daaem yI cnslcIt cgm p odv.m rgc..I
ksecihe keiies cgm ectnesb Ohe tyn.em cgm p kecyem .nSe c Snmb pi lct
aseci id hc’e hes kcoSb p ue.i cg vgmesidge du tcmgett vgmesgecih? ihci
pxm ge’es hc’e 7csies ct le..b Evi p odv.m .n’e lnih ihcib -nih inye?
pxm udsaei ckdvi hny? cgm pxm yd’e dgb pxm geem id .ddS uds c gel
ldsSf.coe? cgm e’egivc..I lheg p adi egdvah ydgeI? pxm ke idd kvtI
lnih fhdidascfhI tohdd. id seyeykes hnyb 5dl? ihci lexm adge kcoS
id kenga keti usnegmt? p ravsem p odv.m ihsdl c MdSe ds ild ngid ihe cnsb
,Od?Y p tyn.em? ,ni iddS ye aeiinga hni kI c ocs id ecsg Idvs udsan’eq
gettzY
“ycgmc .cvahem cgm scntem hes hcgm ct nu id f.cIuv..I tycoS ye?
iheg the fcvtem cgm kdffem ye ng ihe gdteb ,5d? tn..I?Y the tcnmb
,“.ihdvah ni mnm an’e ye festfeoin’eb The vgn’este hcm id seyngm ye
hdl yvoh Idvs ngtcge ctt yecgi id ye? cgm lhI p odv.mgxi .ei lhci
Idv mnm hcga csdvgm uds cg egm.ett cydvgi du inyebY
p odv.mgxi tidf tyn.ngab ,pxy a.cm lexse kcoS idaeihes cacngb p
ynttem IdvbY
,p ynttem Idv iddbY
These lct tdyedge e.te p ynttem? kvi ihci mnmgxi yciiesb ”e hcm id
ad uds vt id seycngb
,”eI?Y p usdlgem? ,lhI ocgxi p scnte yI .eui csy cgm yI snahi .eazY
,Eeocvte iheIxse ksdSeg?Y “ycgmc tvff.nemb
p .ddSem mdlg cgm tcl kdih csyt cgm .eat od’esem ng kcgmcaetb
,-hI cy p gdi uee.nga cgI fcngzY
,Eeocvte ihe e6eoit du ihe fcngSn..es hc’egxi ldsg d6 IeibY
,Ah4bY p gdmmemb

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 7“OOpjC B“p5N

Ovmmeg.I? p hcm cg d’eslhe.ynga vsae id Mvti ng vnse cuies hes

ucihesb p lctgxi adnga id fvth cgI uvsihes ihcg ihcib
,Bntieg? “ycgmc? p Sgdl nixt tivfnm du ye id e’eg ksdcoh ihe
tvkMeoi cacngb “gm p fsdynte px.. ge’es md ni cacng nu Idv Mvti cgtles
ihnt dge vetindgb ”dl nt hez ”dlxt 7csieszY
“ycgmc tyn.emb ,-hI mdgxi Idv ctS hny Idvste.uzY
p usdlgemb What?
7csies lc.Sem ngid ihe sddy ng megny Mecgt cgm c lhnie Tqthnsi ihci
tcnm? ,p .d’e Ocg jneadbY ”e .ddSem ct osntf cgm le.odye ct useth.I
kcSem fneb Oh, God. p lcgiem hny tin..? kvi ni lct nyfdttnk.e? cgm p ue.i
.nSe p lct Mvti hvsinga yIte.ub ”e tyn.em ct he lc.Sem d’es id ye cgm?
lnihdvi lcsgnga? f.cgiem c Sntt dg yI .nftb ”nt od.dage wdlem ngid
yI gdtisn.t ihseciegnga id icSe odgisd. du yI kdmI? kvi yI thdoS lct
egdvah id metickn.n…e nib What’s going on? Why is he trying to bring us
back to where we started?
The hecsiqydgnidsnga ycohnge keacg id ad osc…I ct yI hecsi McoSq
hcyyesem ng yI ohetib p .ddSem tiscnahi ci “ycgmc ckdvi id eDf.cng
yIte.u lheg p ocvahi hes tyn.ngab
The usdlg dg yI ucoe meefegemb
,-hci4 lhci4 lhcizY p odv.mgxi aei cgIihnga dvi eDoefi ihdte
ihsee ldsmtb
“ycgmc kdkkem hes hecmb ,7dye dg gdl? -n..dlb Cdv tcnm Idv
.d’em hny? mnmgxi Idvz -hci cy pz The Oosddae du Bd’ezY
,-cni4 md Idv4 md Idv4 md IdvzY
,Cech?Y the .cvahemb ,Cdv avIt hc’e yI k.ettngabY
p .ddSem ci 7csies? ci ihe hngi du c tyn.e dg hnt ucoe? cgm p ge’es ue.i
td eDoniemb “ iecs t.nffem dvi du yI eIe cgm keudse p odv.m ihngS du

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 “BR”“ EAOO RWATN7TAW

secohnga uds ni? 7csies iddS ni d6 aegi.I lnih hnt ihvykb p .ddSem ngid
hnt eIet? cgm iheI tcnm? “I got you.”
,p adi Idv kcoS?Y p tcnmb Theg p .ddSem ci “ycgmc? cgm le kdih
kvsti ngid .cvahiesb N’esIdge eDoefi 7csies? du odvsteb The kna kcm
td.mnesb Thesexm keeg c ohc..egae keileeg “ycgmc cgm p ckdvi lhnoh
du vt ldv.m rgm .d’e rstib p ynahi hc’e ldg? kvi ihe nsdgI nt p
ldv.mgxi hc’e lnihdvi hes an’nga vt ihe ohcgoe id asdl nib

LL
The End.

78
 Upcoming Books
by Cassidy Laine

Alpha Billionaire Protector: A Second Chance Age Gap Boss Ro-

mance
Alpha Daddy Protector: A One Night Stand Fake Husband Ro-
mance
Alpha Cop Protector: A Second Chance Single Dad Secret Baby
Romance

79