Professional Documents
Culture Documents
A Gestalt Perspective
Kenneth R. Evans
Abstract important social adaptation that human beings
A case example is used to describe the have developed in order to survive in the
phenomenology of shame, its origin in early presence of a more powerful and potentially
childhood, and its maintenance in adulthood. dangerous other (Chance, 1988). In order to
Shame is viewed as a defense against an minimize the possibility of threat, a person
abuse of power in the original infant- sends nonthreatening signals to the more
caretaker relationship. Healing may be powerful other, for example, avoiding eye con-
realized through an emotionally corrective tact, physically shrinking back, withdrawal,
relationship based on dialogical Gestalt and hiding. A shame response is thus a creative
therapy which emphasizes a horizontal way of adjusting (surviving) in a threatening
(equal) relationship between therapist and environment.
client. Gestalt and dialogic encounter are The following case example is used to il-
described in terms of three major lustrate the phenomenology of shame, how it
characteristics: inclusion, presence, and develops in early childhood, and the ways it is
commitment to the "between." maintained in adulthood.
Development
The shy person . . . is physically and con- From the age of ten weeks to four years, Tom
stantly conscious of his body, not as it is for spent most of the day in a children's swing
him but as it is for the Other. . . . We often say which was suspended from the kitchen ceiling
that the shy man is "embarrassed" by his own and constructed so that he could not fall out
body. Actually this is incorrect; I cannot be em- when left unattended. In this way his mother
barrassed by my own body as I exist in it. It could keep an eye on him. Tom was an
is my body as it is for the Other which embar- unplanned baby born into a poor coal-mining
rasses me. (Jean-Paul Sartre, cited in Mollon, family. His maternal grandparents lived in the
1984, p. 212) house next door and disapproved of his father,
who spent long hours at work. Tom's mother,
Definition an anxious and inadequate woman, was caught
Shame and guilt are, in part, different ways in the cross fire between her husband and her
of perceiving the other with regard to the use parents and tried to please both sides. At her
of power. With guilt, the other is seen as the wit's end, her resentment and frustration were
injured party with the self causing the injury. often displaced onto Tom. With a face con-
With shame there is a sense of inferiority in torted with hate, she would unleash her pent-
which the other is perceived as more powerful up fury on him by shrieking verbal insults-
and capable of inflicting injury on the self, threats of violence and abandonment-if he
usually via scorn, contempt, or humiliation. "made demands of her." Imprisoned in his
Submissive behavior is probably the most swing and under the relentless spotlight of his
mother's hatred, Tom developed what in
I wish to acknowledge the teaching of Gary Yontef, Gestalt is referred to as a malevolent Top Dog
Ph.D., a leading exponent ofGestalt as a dialogic method.
This article was originally presented at the joint Interna-
and looked on himself with disgust. For Tom,
tional Transactional Analysis and USA TA Association Con- shame was experienced as an inner revulsion
ference in Minneapolis. Minnesota. October 1993. against his own existence.
Shame develops prior to cognition and is the A shame-based system is said to be complete
result first of osmosis and then of isolation. (In- when retroflection and projection operate
trojection requires a more advanced level of
self-other boundary that develops with cogni-
tion.) Osmosis may be described as the passage
8
of a strong solution to a weak solution across
a semipermeable membrane in such a manner
as to equalize their concentration. As a baby,
Tom did not have a sufficient self-other bound-
ary to resist mother's onslaught. In Gestalt, this
symbiotic relationship is referred to as con-
fluence (Figure 1). Figure 3
Retroflection
simultaneously, that is, when I think about
myself and feel toward myself what I imagine
the other person is thinking and feeling toward
me (e.g., contempt, loathing, disgust, etc.). I
look at myself as if there were a mirror in front
Figure 1 of my eyes. I think I am looking outward into
Confluence the world, but I am reflecting back my own
imaginings (projection) and then punishing
Tom defended himself against being over- myself (retroflection).
whelmed by internally withdrawing from
mother behind a wall of adaptation (submissive Description
behavior). In Gestalt, this process is called Physically, Tom experienced shame as a sud-
isolation (Figure 2). den implosion, as though the pit of his stomach
were collapsing in on itself. This was accom-
panied by blushing and sweating. In such
moments, what Tom most wanted was for the
88 Figure 2
ground to open and swallow him up, that is,
he wanted to hide, but at the same time he felt
he was transparent to all around him. Further-
more, Tom had no conscious awareness that
what he was experiencing was shame, and so
he felt stupid and hopeless, believing there must
be something fundamentally wrong with him.
Isolation Early defenses like freezing and turning away
are experienced psychologically and affectively
From the defense of isolation, shame is born. because they develop prior to cognition and
In hiding from mother, there is- therefore appear incomprehensible (Fraiberg,
phenomenologically speaking-no other to dif- 1982/1983).
ferentiate from and be defined in relation to. Tom attempted to defend against his shame
In isolation, Tom overcame this problem by through achievement and pursued a successful
creating a split inside himself and developing professional career. However, he felt any kind
a relationship between parts of himself. In of criticism deeply and strove for perfection.
Gestalt, this process as referred to as retroflec- If he made the slightest mistake in public, he
tion (Figure 3). quickly and unmercifully reprimanded himself
Through retroflection, a person does to before anyone else could do so. In the event
himself or herself what he or she really would of feeling foolish, he would make himself the
like to do to someone else, for example, "I am butt of a joke-in case someone else made a
angry with myself," as if "I" and "myself" fool of him. Tom's self-criticism and self-
were two different people. mockery were probably more ruthlessly
humiliating than anything anyone else might the ancient world, to discover the name of one's
have inflicted on him. The importance of self- enemy was believed to grant power over the
humiliation, however, was that it gave Tom enemy. Shame may be called the "enemy
some control over a situation that might other- within. " To understand what one is experienc-
wise have felt overwhelming. ing brings some understanding over what other-
wise seems incomprehensible.
Treatment
Tom's story reveals four major factors that Dialogic Encounter
are associated with shame: Dialogic encounter is a form of relating based
1. An abuse of power, usually by the primary on Buber's I-Thou contact (Hycner, 1985). Con-
caretaker. tact between people requires the appreciation of
2. Withdrawal or isolation on the part of the difference, that is, the ability to acknowledge
child, usually behind a defensive wall of what is self and what is other when moving
adaptation. toward connecting with the other and when
3. A feeling of disgust and contempt toward moving toward separating from the other.
oneself or, conversely, a lack of love toward Between self and other are boundaries. A
self. boundary is a process of connecting and
4. Incomprehension. separating and not a fixed entity. At one ex-
Shame develops in relationship, and its heal- treme, a closed boundary is like a brick wall
ing may be realized through an emotionally cor- inside that the person closes to the outside; after
rective relationship that addresses all four of doing so, the individual moves toward self-
these factors. nourishment (isolation). At the other extreme,
Gestalt as a dialogic encounter seeks a rela- a boundary that is too open results in the in-
tionship in which power is horizontal (equal) dividual being overwhelmed by the other so that
rather than vertical, and that treats the other as the flow of connecting and separating is lost
a person and not as an object to be manipulated (confluence). Healthy boundaries are
or controlled (Yontef, 1991). It emphasizes a permeable enough to allow in nourishment, but
mutuality of contact that gently and respectfully closed enough to maintain sufficient autonomy
calls the person out of isolation. As the per- and to keep out what is toxic. In isolation a per-
son's inner self comes out of hiding and son habitually withdraws from the boundary
emerges into awareness, self-loathing is and connection is avoided, whereas in con-
gradually replaced with curiosity, excitement, fluence the separating aspect of contact is lost
and eventually love. This is a consequence and and there is only fusion. In both confluence and
not a goal of Gestalt therapy. isolation, there is no appreciation of difference
The goal of Gestalt therapy is to enhance so there can be no true meeting of two separate
awareness, not to directly seek change. The people, that is, no contact.
Gestalt theory of change is that the more one In order to make contact, a person must show
attempts to be what he or she is not, the more as much of himself or herself as meets his or
one stays the same (Beisser, 1970). Thus, the her needs and the demands of the moment.
therapeutic task is to enhance awareness of Other needs are kept in the background. As his
what is through the dialogic I-Thou relation- or her needs are satisfied, or the situation
ship and by utilizing phenomenological focus- changes and those needs move into the
ing. The goal of awareness is a process goal- background, other needs come into awareness.
not a goal of content or direction. The focus Awareness may be likened to a ball floating on
in Gestalt therapy is on an exploration of what the sea. As the water moves, so the ball moves
is, and this includes accepting that being stuck, around and what was on the surface goes
frustrated, or sad, IS! Accepting what is leads below. Moving toward and away from the other
to accepting the entire person, and it is with requires, over time, a sharing of different
this kind of support that a client may begin to aspects of oneself. Without movement, some
emerge from hiding. aspects of oneself will be kept in the
At some point in therapy-usually later-it background and unavailable for sharing with
is important to name or label the emotion of the other. It would be as if the water surround-
shame to bring it into cognitive awareness. In ing the ball froze: Movement in and out of
what the other experiences in tum, allowing the committed to facilitating long-term treatment,
outcome to be determined by the "between" then "our level of expertise can only be as great
rather than it being controlled by either person. as our level of self-awareness and our capaci-
Letting go of solitary control means that each ty to bear being seen realistically by others"
is affected by the differentness of the other; (p. 65). This is particularly true in working with
there is an allowing of what arises "between" clients who suffer from shame. Shame is a
to direct the process. Showing oneself rather closed system because it leads to isolation and
than pretending to show oneself and allowing hiding, which, in tum, enhances the feeling of
that which is "between" to control is an act of shame. Therapists can rarely, if ever, suc-
faith in the process that is confirmed by clinical cessfully take clients through what they have
practice. It is also an act of love. This is true both not gone through themselves. This being so,
for the therapist and the client. Each time the it is necessary for therapists to face their own
client responds to the therapist with an attitude "enemy within" if they are going to be able
of l-Thou, the client grows a little in trust and to facilitate clients to a greater level of self-
self-acceptance. Over time, the malevolence of awareness and "capacity to bear being seen by
the Top Dog diminishes, and the client increas- others."
ingly looks at himself or herself with affection. Personally, I do not believe I can ever be ful-
ly "cured' , from experiencing the emotion
Qualification called shame. Facing the enemy within has
This level of mutual contact requires that both meant my accepting this enemy, which has
parties be available for and able to support greatly diminished the enemy's power-I am
themselves. This is rarely possible for the client no longer ashamed of being ashamed. It is an
in the early stages of therapy. It usually evolves emotion I can choose, when appropriate, to
after preparatory work involving, for example, disclose to my clients along with anger, fear,
phenomenological focusing and the acknowl- sadness, and joy.
edgment of resistance, after which clients may
have enough self-support to be sufficiently Kenneth Evans, B. Sc., Dip. Soc. Admin.,
themselves and thus to connect and separate- Dip. G.P. T.!, is director of the Sherwood
that is, to sustain contact. During the early Psychotherapy Training Institute, Nottingham,
stages of therapy, the client will usually have England, an associate of the Institute for In-
less awareness than the therapist. Indeed, if the tegrative Psychotherapy in New York City, and
client saw the therapist as accurately as the President of the European Association for
therapist saw the client, then there would be Psychotherapy. Please send reprint requests to:
no possibility of working through any Sherwood Psychotherapy Training Institute,
transference distortions in the relationship. Thiskney House, 2 St. James Terrace, Not-
Even in the latter stages of therapy, mutuality tingham NGJ 6FW, United Kingdom.
of contact is never complete, because the
therapist's task remains his or her own. The REFERENCES
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