Reminiscence

What is reminiscence?
It is the act of remembering events and experiences from the past

The difference between reflecting and reminiscing?

The word “reflect” has a neutral connotation which means it doesn’t give us a positive or
negative feeling. Reflecting means to think back to past events and think deeply about those
experiences which could result in a excess of emotions—positive or negative. But reflection is
not just letting memories run through our minds. It’s a careful process of unpacking and healing,
of sifting through a time that has passed while acknowledging lessons and feelings that once
were to help move us forward in the present moment. Reflection is a tool for healing.

The word reminisce has a positive connotation, for it means to indulge in past memories that are
deemed enjoyable. It may feel the same as reflection, but here’s where things can get tricky. If
we reminisce without thought or care, we begin to see only part of a picture, the part that brought
pleasure, excitement, and fun. We also run the risk of distorting past memories to make them
more palatable which, in turn, does the opposite of healing. If we are looking back to find the
good, especially in some precarious situations, we run the risk of romanticizing our past
experiences, even the ones that put us in rehab, the hospital, and worse. It also means we aren’t
focused on finding joy in the present moment which is a big red flag. Reminiscing can lead to a
false sense of understanding. 

When we think back to our past, we have to realize the power in that act. We have the power to
heal and the power to harm. It’s almost as if we are gods harnessing the power of time in just one
moment of life. But if we use that power to find happiness in another time, we are once again
avoiding our feelings and reality.

Why do we reminisce so much?

We crave to feel the positive emotions that we felt, to connect to the version of ourselves we were at the
time we are reminiscing about. Perhaps we felt more carefree, perhaps we felt joy or a sense of
accomplishment, or perhaps we felt loved and more connected to our loved ones.

The pleasure of reminiscing about our past is the joy of finding… ourselves again. It is important to be
comfortable with the times we live in and if sometimes you feel a little sidelined because society is
moving quickly, bringing your memories to the surface makes you happy because you can immerse
yourself in a familiar universe in which you were at the center of the action.

Memories make us human: Over several decades, researchers have shown remembering your
past is fundamental to being human, and has four important roles.
 1. Memories help form our identity

Our personal memories give us a sense of continuity — the same person (or sense of self) moving
through time. They provide important details of who we are and who we would like to be.

2. Memories help us solve problems

Memories offer us potential solutions to current problems and help guide and direct us when solving
them.

3. Memories make us social

Personal memories are essential for social interactions. Being able to recall personal memories provides
important material when making new friends, forming relationships and maintaining ones we already
have.

4. Memories help us regulate our emotions

Our memories provide examples of similar situations we’ve been in before. This allows us to reflect on
how we managed that emotion before and what we can learn from that experience.

Such memories can also help us manage strong negative emotions. For example, when someone is feeling
sad they can take time to dwell on a positive memory to improve their mood.

Nostalgia isn’t always a good thing

Too much yearning for the past can negatively take your attention away from the present
and lead to feelings of depression by stifling interest in forming new relationships and personal
growth. If you’re a habitual worrier, you may be even more susceptible. Constantly trying to
recreate the past by returning to a location of a fond memory and hoping to have a similar
experience may also be problematic, especially if it’s otherwise disrupting your life.

The link between nostalgia and depression

Nostalgia has a tendency to be like a natural sedative. It has a way of taking past events and not
only shining the spotlight on the most positive points of those moments, but it also glosses each
memory with a heavy coat of euphoria and idealization (if only they sold that combination in a
can to use in the present).

In nostalgic moments, each memory becomes magnified, not only in terms of depth of meaning,
but also of emotional experience. There is generally a longing to go back to these past
experiences with a desire to hold each moment close and not let it go.

While nostalgia can provide a warm memory in occasional moments, repeated patterns of
nostalgia are actually akin to a difficulty mourning unprocessed losses.
In our lives, we don’t just lose people, but we lose time, experiences, portions of our lives,
childhood, adolescence, college years, parenthood, and all of the things that go with these
periods of our lives. These are often times of innocence and less responsibility — where our
lives and future were still ahead of us and there was more of a sense of freedom.

How does loneliness reduce loneliness?

Being that nostalgia is an experience that people naturally turn to when feeling lonely and that
nostalgia fosters social connectedness, it should regulate loneliness by fostering feelings of social
support. Indeed, they found that loneliness was associated with greater nostalgia proneness (i.e.,
the propensity to engage in nostalgic reflection), and nostalgia proneness was, in turn, associated
with greater feelings of social support. Critically, nostalgia proneness suppressed the relation
between loneliness and social support; when statistically controlling for nostalgia proneness, the
association between loneliness and social support became more strongly negative. In the same
paper, they found that manipulated loneliness increased nostalgic feelings and decreased
perceptions of social support.