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Analysis and Report of Mini-Interview on the Topic ‘What are the Factors that

Influenced Catholic Nuns to Choose Religious Life?’

Hazel Roy 2237528

Dept of Psychology, CHRIST (Deemed to be University)

MPS131 – CIA-2

Prof. Baiju Gopal

November 3, 2022
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Analysis and Report of a Mini-interview on the Topic ‘What are the Factors that

Influenced Catholic Nuns to Choose Religious Life?’

This report summarizes the data analysis, results, and discussion of a qualitative

interview conducted with a catholic religious nun. The research question was What

influences catholic nuns to pursue religious life? The specific research questions were; how

does one’s family background affect one’s vocation to religious life? What are the personality

characteristics and value systems that are common among religious nuns? Given below is the

analysis and discussion of the interview findings.

Methodology

Participant

For my study, I interviewed a catholic religious nun who has completed her final

profession in religious life. Here, they make vows to live a life of poverty, chastity, and

obedience and professed, law-abiding members of the religious congregation (Eze et al.,

2014). The inclusion criteria for selecting a participant were; the participant should be an

Indian religious catholic nun who has completed her final profession and currently lives in a

religious community. Exclusion criteria were that the participant should not be living in

isolation, or had previously left or changed her religious community. The selected participant

was a professed Catholic Nun belonging to the congregation of the Carmelite religious,

pursuing her B.Ed. in Christ University.

Procedure and Measures

The participant was selected by consulting the catholic priests within Christ (Deemed

to be University). The interview protocol and line of inquiry were prepared based on the
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research objectives and previously established theories about factors influencing men to join

the priesthood, reasons for staying committed to priestly life, etc. Inform consent of the

participant was obtained and the interview was conducted in the convent of the participant.

Data Analysis

I obtained an audio recording of the interview and prepared a verbatim transcript of

the interview. Later, I conducted a thematic analysis of the interview using NVivo 12, a

software used for coding and analysis of qualitative data. I went through the transcript line-

by-line and generated codes. Coding is a process through which the transcript is organized to

discover patterns within the organizational structure, that cannot be detected by direct

observation (Auerbach & Silverstein, 2003). I used a mixed approach for developing codes.

Some codes were inferred based on the research objectives and previous literature, whereas

other codes were inductively derived through a thorough analysis of the transcript. Once the

initial codes were developed, similar codes or codes conveying synonymous ideas were

grouped together under specific themes. Later, a thematic framework was built depicting the

relationship between themes and their linkage with the main topic being studied

Results

The aim of this study was to explore the factors that influenced catholic nuns in India

to choose religious life. On analysis of the interview transcript with my participant, I

identified the following organizing themes: childhood experiences, a strong prayer life,

affinity towards missionary life, and a strong vocational desire or calling to live as a religious

nun. Below is an in-depth analysis of each of the themes and how it was derived.

Figure 1

Mind map representing the major themes identified and their underlying codes
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Question
-ing God

Childhood

A huge chunk of the interview focused on how childhood played a role in the

participant’s decision to become a nun (29 coding references). One of the major sub-themes

under childhood were the negative experiences she went through as a child. She spoke about

her dad suffering from problems of alcoholism which resulted in constant familial distress (8

coding references). The subject reported that the pain and negative feelings she experienced

as a child due to familial discord made her question why God allowed such experiences in her

life. But eventually she learnt to accept pain the way it is without complaining. (4 coding

references). In the words of my participant,

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“I was not able to understand why these kind of experiences and why God has given

this kind of this kind of father to me”

“Many times I have seen mummy suffering but she never complains about daddy. Sh.

…she said God has given this …I will bear it. This is an answer”

“Only when he drinks he is like a devil in the house disturbed uhh

It has really impacted my life also. So that it why I guess I became more spiritual.”

She talks about how such negative experiences made her accept sufferings without

complaining and look at sufferings as a way of loving God. She also mentions that she had to

work as a young child which brought in a sense of responsibility within her at a very young

age (5 coding references).

So I have done like little work, going to like people’s houses, wash their vessels and

do sort of small works that I was able to do it. More than that I would also sell the

fish, I would go house to house, sit in the markets. I would contribute from my own

hard work to my mother and my mother was really happy about it.

She reported having a very supportive grandmother who constantly prayed for her

vocation and took her to trips and pilgrimages which inspired her to become a nun (6 coding

references).

Missionary Life

Throughout the interview, the participant gave many indications that she had a great

affinity towards missionary life, to be of service to others and to fulfil the responsibility

entrusted to her by God (24 total coding references). She passionately talked about how

serving others is the main purpose of her life.

I just want to be happy and make people happy who come to my life. And serve
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people very passionately

Sometimes, when I do something na…I forget about myself. Then some people may

ask Conzita why are you doing for that person? That person only wont know like. I

said no, we need to give hundred percent of our efforts”

She enumerated two of her mission experiences, one where she had to work in a

village school (14 coding references) and a visit to Shillong Meghalaya, where she went in

search of young women who could be potential candidates for their congregation (5 coding

references). She described feeling satisfied and accomplished when working for any religious

mission work.

“But as the days went by I felt like yes, Thank God that I have become sister because

that kind of satisfaction I got.”

Prayer Life

The interviewee emphasized on the importance of having a strong prayer life to be

able to live out the life of a nun (11 total references). She believed its impossible to do

mission without having a strong prayer life. She spoke about having an intimate relation with

God through personal prayer (2 coding references), asking the help of Mother Mary through a

form of prayer called the ‘rosary’ (1 coding reference), and frequently participating in the

holy mass- a catholic ritual where bread and wine is believed to turn into the body and blood

of Jesus Christ (4 coding references).

“Then sisters would ..uhh..tell when you feel like that go and sit in front of Jesus.

Surrender your feelings..everything that is happening in your heart.

when I get to know that there are some special rosaries in anyone’s houses.. I would

run to the house like …conducting prayers.”

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Interviewee was always very eager to pray as she believed all her strength came from

God.

Table 1

Number of coding references for each identified theme

Themes No of Coding References

Childhood 29

Missionary Life 24

Prayer Life 11

Vocational desire 27

Vocational Desire

In the context of the study, vocation refers to a desire or a calling to pursue a specific

way of life. Sister mentioned about how she identified her calling through various instances

(27 total references). She started disliking family life because she saw how unsuccessful her

parents’ marriage was.

”I told you no that conflicts between mummy and daddy were there, that also led me

not to get married.”

Other factors that inspired her vocation were observing other nuns serve others (4

coding references), feeling personally called by Jesus to become a nun (6 coding references)

and a very high opinion of religious nuns (4 coding references).

“I have seen the life of Sisters serving the sick people, looking after the small kids,

orphan kids, the old aged people and it really....uhh has inspired me from my
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childhood, that I also want to become a sister, gradually this inspiration became very

strong and strong.”

“Jesus is my biggest inspiration. I did not choose Jesus, Jesus chose me.”

Discussion

The study aimed to explore factors influencing catholic nuns to choose religious life.

Through coding and thematic analysis of my interview, I found the following themes caused

one to pursue religious life; childhood experiences, affinity towards missionary life, strong

prayer life, and a vocational desire. First identified theme was childhood. Negative childhood

experiences, family background, and questioning God were the sub-themes under childhood.

Studies reveal that often victims of suffering and adverse childhood experiences feel a moral

obligation to help others who are suffering (Warner et al., 2014). The presence of a

supportive family member heightens the chances of one pursuing religious life. This is

consistent with the findings of Curcione (1973), who suggested that family support is a

crucial factor in determining if one stays committed to priestly life. Questioning God may

result in being able to develop a personal and deep relationship with God and come up with

strong arguments to support one’s faith (Caputo et al., 2001). The next major theme identified

was an affinity to missionary life. This was evident through the desire to serve others, feeling

satisfied on being of help and feeling obligated to fulfil God’s mission. Religious celibate life

gives a platform to perform missionary work without having to worry about being

responsible for a family. The third identified theme was a strong prayer life. Having a

personal intimate connection with God, frequently partaking in religious rituals is

characteristic of women who want to give their lives to God. Corwin (2012) demonstrated

that linguistic prayer helped religious nuns minimize their feelings of loneliness and chronic

pain. It has helped them gain an embodied experience of God (Corwin, 2012). The fourth
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theme is vocational desire. This included subthemes of feeling personally called by God to

become a nun, disliking family life, having high regard for other nuns, and being inspired by

their work. Bad modelling of family life caused by constant parental conflicts, and

parentification of children may naturally make the child want to stay away from desiring

marriage and a family life. On the other hand, positive modelling received from nuns through

their service may increase one’s desire to become like them. Having a high opinion of nuns as

a predictor of pursuing religious life is consistent with the findings of Sunardi (2014) who

revealed that having a divine view of priesthood increases commitment to the priesthood.

Implications and Limitations

The present study gives an insight into a nun’s subjective reasoning to become a nun.

Various psychosocial causes revolving around one’s personality, family background, and life

circumstances were identified. However, there are hundreds of religious congregations in

India, each of which has a unique vision, mission, asceticism, and rules. Thus, the motives to

become a nun may not be the same as of my participant. I failed to consider any critical life

incidents and cultural factors that could have influenced her decision. The results of this

study mandates further research to validate the propositions made.

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References

Auerbach, C., & Silverstein, L. B. (2003). Qualitative data: An introduction to coding and

analysis (Vol. 21). NYU press.

Calibo, F. D., & Oracion, E. G. (2014). The secular reasons for entering the diocesan priestly

formation of young Filipinos. Philippine sociological review, 65-84.

https://www.jstor.org/stable/43486493

Caputo, J. D., Dooley, M., & Scanlon, M. J. (Eds.). (2001). Questioning God. Indiana

University Press.

Corwin, A. I. (2012). Changing God, changing bodies: The impact of new prayer practices on

elderly Catholic nuns’ embodied experience. Ethos, 40(4), 390-410.

https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1548-1352.2012.01267.x

Curcione, N. R. (1973). Family influence on commitment to the priesthood: A study of altar

boys. Sociological Analysis, 34(4), 265-280. https://doi.org/10.2307/3709730

Eze, C., Lindegger, G. C., & Rakoczy, S. (2015). Catholic religious sisters’ identity dilemmas

as committed and subjugated workers: A narrative approach. Review of religious

research, 57(3), 397-417. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s13644-014-0202-

NVivo. (2022). Best Qualitative Data Analysis Software for Researchers

Qsrinternational.com. https://www.qsrinternational.com/nvivo-qualitative-data-

analysis-software/home

Sunardi, Y. (2014). Predictive factors for commitment to the priestly vocation: A study of

priests and seminarians. Marquette University. Retrieved from

https://christuniversity.knimbus.com/loginAndLaunch?docUrl=?url=https://www.proque
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st.com/dissertations-theses/predictive-factors-commitment-priestly-

vocation/docview/1637726973/se-2
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Appendix A

Interview Guide

Q1. Could you please introduce yourself? Please tell me your name, age, where are you from

and a little bit about your community.

Q2. When did you enter the convent and when did you complete your formation?

Q3. Walk me through a typical day for you.

Q4. Let us talk about your childhood. Could you tell me something about your family

background?

Q5. Did your family have a strong spiritual life?

Q6. Are there any childhood experiences, or any particular incident that affected your

vocation?

Q7. What or who is your greatest inspiration to become a nun?

Q8. Once you decided to become a nun, what were the personal and society level barriers that

you faced? How did you overcome those barriers?

Q9. How do you feel about religious life now, several years after joining the convent?

Q10. Could you narrate any noteworthy experiences you had after becoming a nun?

Q11. What are the main challenges you face as a nun?

Q12. What makes you persist, despite the challenges?

Q13. If not a nun, what career path would you have chosen in life?

Q14. What would you tell people who are discerning a call to religious life?
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Appendix B

Interview Transcript

Interviewer:

Good evening sister, I am very glad to have you here with me. To introduce myself properly,
I am Hazel Roy. I am pursuing MSc in clinical psychology here in Christ University. As a
part of my curriculum, I am trying to conduct a qualitative study about the Catholic religious
nuns in India… specifically I am interested in learning the factors that you know influence
nuns to choose religious life. What is the main cause behind choosing religious life or
consecrated life?

So would you be willing to share your experiences with me

Participant

yes I am willing to share

Interviewer

great I am very happy to hear that

Interviewer

so before we get into the details first could you tell me your whole name and your age

Participant

I am sister Conzita Castor Nun and my age is 25

Interviewer

Okay

Sister where are you from?

Participant

I am from Maharashtra from the district of Thane in a place called Uttan.

Interviewer

Uttan?
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Participant

Yes, Fisherfolk community

Interviewer

Fisherfolk community, great

ok uhh..could you name your congregation and tell me about The main focus of the
ministery of your congregation?

Participant

The name of my congregration is congregation of Carmelite religious. It is founded by Sr

Veronica of the Passion.. Umm and the mission of our congregation is mainly education…

Interviewer

Okay..

Participant

According to the science of times.

Interviewer

Okay…Okay

Uhh..Sister may I know when you joined the convent?

Participant

(Pause).. I joined convent in 2011

Interviewer

Mhmm

Participant

I finished my plus 1 and plus 2

Interviewer

Okay

Participant
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Then I entered into formation

Then in 2016 I made my first Profession

Interviewer

Okay.. So when was your final profession

Participant

2022

Interviewer

Okay..So this year itself was your final profession

Participant

Yes

Interviewer

Great.. Could you just brief me about what you are currently doing.. And uhh what is a
typical day for you right now? Like ..umm

Participant

Now I am pursuing my B.Ed, first year, and now i am writing my exam for the first semester.
(Chuckles)

Interviewer

Yeah.. you are writing your exam…In general if you didn't have your exam, how does your
normal daily routine look like.

Participant

Yeah…(Pause).. My normal day starts with lik, Rising then we have prayer, followed by a
Eucharistic celebration. Then of course we have our own personal work… Then since Iam
studying BEd, I attend my classes, come back again in the evening..do my personal work..
Study for a little while. Again we have dinner, night prayer…and then we go to sleep.

Interviewer

Okay.. So do you enjoy your routine?

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Participant

Yes I love.. Doing it

Interviewer

Great. So uhh, Lets talk about your childhood. So could you tell me about your family? As in
your family background

Participant

Yes, I have my parents a brother and sister. My childhood has been very good but my father
used to drink a lot so I uhh means there is positive and negative aspect to so because I was
little bit scared of my daddy

Interviewer

Mhmm

Participant

So I had become very silent…. quiet…. not much expressive. My brother and sister used to
be very energetic and they were like you know they would give tit for tat to daddy. But I was
little bit scared knowing that…. he is whatever…. he drinks or whatever he does, he is not
working well I still had great respect for my daddy. Okay.. and to get a proper education my
daddy would not go for work or fishing. So I used to do… so I used to go and do some
people's work. So I have done like little work, going to like people’s houses, wash their
vessels and do sort of small works that I was able to do it. More than that I would also selll
the fish, I would go house to house, sit in the markets, that would help me provide money for
the education and also I would help my mother in bringing some kinds of provisions in the
house. I would contribute from my own hard work to my mother and my mother was really
happy about it. I t is not only about working, but I also went through a lot of kind of tension, I
became very quiet person, because the condition was such in the house. I was not able to
understand why these kind of experiences and why God has given this kind of this kind of
father to me, at the same time I would see other children enjoying their life, they would enjoy
all kind of facilities and enjoyments which I would not able to do it. So at certain times, there
was a kind of big questions that always would arise in front of me, that why God has given
me such kind of father in my life. I had to go through that kind of conditions that I was not
able to comprehend or imagine or not able to accept the reality that has come into my life of
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course, the childhood experiences has brought lot of changes as I am growing in my religious
life. It has helped me to accept the sufferings, the challenges that come my way.

Interviewer

Hmm

Participant

So, once my brother started going for fishing he also left the school in 6th standard then I
have got the proper education. So we having to depend upon Vincent de Paul institution, kind
of committee, the church then I finished my 10th so, during the childhood I underwent a lot
of kind of difficulties in my life

Interviewer

Hmm

Participant

Yes

Interviewer

Okay

So was your family uhh…did your family have a spiritual life…was it absent? What did you
feel?

Participant

No…. they had spiritual life because my daddy when he was good he also says Rosary, goes
for mass. Only when he drinks he is like a devil in the house disturbed uhh..he brings
disturbance in the family and the whole atmosphere changes. Like to go to school also he
would uhh…. like so if my mummy… mummy doesn't give him money he would close the
door and sit in the house, so we were just left out. I used to go to my grandmother's house
which was in the first floor.

Interviewer

Okay

Participant
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We were on the second floor. So sometimes I have gone to the school without
uniform.Uniform in the sense I was like ..I used to wear like colourful dresses.

Interviewer

Hmm

Participant

So it has really impacted my life also. So that it why I guess I became more spiritual. I really
feel that if daddy was not so uhh… good, Its not that he did not love me. Because of his own
pleasure he used to drink. Maybe he was like selfish. He may be having some problems in his
life..umm..maybe he showed all that reaction while drinking and that would bring the
disturbance in the family. Then I think from my childhood only I started going sometimes
three mass four mass.. So since I was an altar server,

Interviewer

Ohh

I used to attend so many masses to get the signature on my card.

Interviewer

Wow

Participant

Sometimes four masses, because we used to have pilgrims there no, shrines..and when I get
to know that there are some special rosaries in anyone’s houses.. I would run to the house like
…conducting prayers..

Interviewer

Hmm.

Participant

And then also my grandma would take me to different pla.. Thats how vocation came into my
life, and uhh she used to take me to the orphanages, old ho..old age homes. There I saw
sisters working…. Very fervently and passionately..So that was , that was the time when I felt
I also want to become sister. And one more thing, I saw my Mumma struggling na..
Interviewer
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Of course. I told you no that conflicts between mummy and daddy were there, that also led
me not to get married. But I didnt understand that time. Now I think when there are fights,
there is love also

Interviewer

Hmm

Participant

With Daddy always fighting. That also made me not to marry also. .Something that this
would affect me also.. It affected my life. But I think the spiritual aspect was more stronger
than this.. um .. seeing the daddy and mummy fighting.

Participant

They love a lot to each other. In this critical situation also, they never separated.

Interviewer

Yeahh..

Participant

That I can surely say. Many times I have seen mummy suffering but she never complains
about daddy. Sh. she said God has given this …I will bear it. This is an answer

Interviewer

Hmm

Participant

As a factor of married life. I think the spiritual aspect was more. And going for the picnics.
As a child only I have roamed so many states. She was a part of the Legion of Mary

Interviewer

Hm

Participant

So she would take me to many places where I have seen the life of Sisters serving the sick
people, looking after the small kids, orphan kids. That’s the basic idea that I had, so had kept
that spirit, but around 10th standard somewhere I lost that spirit, thinking that I ll get into
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kind of friendship and all that. But then I was like no. I want to join. In 10th only I joined.
Mummy said “No Conzita, you can help me for sometime, I said no, something is creating
kind of feelings in me to just move out of the house. I had entered into the convent

Interviewer

Woah. Very Interesting. So..umm..where was I ..yeah So you said you were very spiritual
right, you were very attached with all the prayers, going for mass daily right from when you
were a child. But uhh.. Was there any turning point? As in was there any particular age?
When did you feel like going? Was there any experience associated where you felt that
maybe you should choose religious life.

Participant

It was a constant process. That was remaining. When anyone came into my class asking who
wants to become sister..umm.. My hand would always be up

Interviewer

Wow… Did you experience any shame associated with the fact that you want to be a nun and
others dont want to be a nun, or were you always very happy about it?

Participant

Yeah, I was very much happy about it, that I wanted to be a sister. Because for me na, See.
We are coming from a very village area, like rural place. I never know that there are like big
degrees that we have to attain or something. I had seen many sisters from my place like
become sisters, so like for me..to become sister was something great. That was my vision. I
did not want to study or something. I just wanted to become sister. Now that I have become a
sister..so when i see this study and we are send for studies. For me its like a big headache

(Grins) Okay. And like

So I am happy that I am a sister right now

Interviewer

Oh Great. So you mentioned that you did not have any particular incident as such, which
acted like a turning point. You always envisioned yourself becoming a nun in the future
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Participant

Yeah

So..uhh..did any particular saint’s life or any particular person that you know who was a nun
or a priest inspire you? In your ..umm..In your decision to choose to become a nun?

Participant

The greatest inspiration to become a religious sister its, …(pause).. I was influenced by my
Grandmother who would always pray for my religious call, and she brought that kind of
realization by taking me to different places where sister would serve the children, the
orphans, the old aged people and it really..uhh has inspired me from my childhood, that I also
want to become a sister, gradually this inspiration became very strong and strong, I think it is
because my grandmother’s prayers and wishes that today I have become sister. But as I
moved on to my religious life, the call became too strong. It is because I came across the
personal touch, through my personal prayer with God, with Jesus, has strengthened my
religious call. To speak about more about my personal, to speak more about my inspiration.
The great inspiration that I would always say that is Jesus. It is not htat I who has chosen
religious life, it is Jesus who has chosen me to to his own, so he is my greatest inspiration..
and uhh..yeah..

Interviewer

Hm

Participant

Like that. She taught me many things. So I think like she is my greatest inspiration, My
grandmother.

Interviewer

Ya, So did she want you to become a nun

Participant

Yes she is happy. Yes. But she never told me that you should become sister. But I think she
was leading me closer too God I think.

But as I moved on to my religious life, the call became too strong. It is because I came across
the personal touch, through my personal prayer with God, with Jesus, has strengthened my
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religious call. To speak about more about my personal, to speak more about my inspiration.
The great inspiration that I would always say that is Jesus. It is not that I who has chosen
religious life, it is Jesus who has chosen me to to his own, so he is my greatest inspiration..
and uhh..yeah..

Interviewer

Hmm. So, after you felt like., you know that you want to become a nun, what were the
barriers that you faced. As in both personal barriers, because you know you will have to give
up on a lot of things. Also what barriers did you face from your family as well. How was
your decision accepted? The barriers after you decided that “I am going to join convent”.

My mother refused me saying that you wait for two three years atleast, because it could be a
great help for mother. Even the society said, because i just passed out my 10th standard and I
stood first in my school.

Interviewer

Wow

Participant

With 90 percentage and that was the first time that in our school someone got ninety percent
marks. And all the priests, nuns wherever I went to take permission to go to convent. They
were not giving me. Many people said. Tey said, if you dont have money, we will give you.
But dont go to become sister, you have a great future. And uhh..some people came form
different organizations saying, “We will give you part time job to study as well as to do your
work also. Despite of that I was very stern, saying that, No, I want to join. Because i was
having that kind of inner voice saying, “Come back, come back” you know. I was very much
strong and determined that I want to go. Because if I would have stayed after 10th or 12th
standard, might be I would have lost the vocation. So there was a refusal from my family.
Some of them. Ofcourse from the society, they didnt expect that I would go to become sister.

Interviewer

Hmm

Participant
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They knew that I am little pious and holy. But still when they got to know that I got ninety
percentage, they all were laughing at me saying, “You are simply ruining your future, it
seems

You have great hope and expectations. Anybody will help you.” Because they knew that
meh.. uhh..I am struggling too much.. Like that no…Bit like that

Interviewer

Ohh So when these people uhh.. They opposed you, what was the main reason you think
they opposed you? To join convent

Participant

Because they saw that I am studious and aahh..I can do better things, study more and I can
bring the family up… Like no..financially Because it was really we were struggling and all.

Hmm So how did you overcome these barriers that you were facing?

I would really smilingly I would tell them, “No problem, God will take care of all of this. Let
me join, it is my call. My God wants me to join. So that I said to them

Interviewer

Did you believe that you know if you join the convent, like, God will work everything in
your favour? Did you strongly believe that?

Participant

Yeah..Yeahh.. I have that When someone goes from the family to become sister.. God blesses
that family.. Yes.. Like that..That thought was in my mind.

Interviewer

Hmm.. So.. Umm

..After 10th Standard you joined the convent you said..?

Participant

Yes

Interviewer
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Hmm..So You mentioned on a society level, as in what people said. Did you ever question
your decision on a personal level?

Participant

Yeah sure, because at some point I was also thought. When I joined no, uhh.. Initial years
Like uhh..Just in a week when I joined in a place like some convent. Like i have just thinking
because I was homesick also…I am staying from the family. I just thought for what i came
here no..I had a great opportunity to study some other place. There I was in the convent I was
in a college which was not a standard college. Like..

Interviewer

Okay

Participant

It was not our own college, it was someone’s college. So at one point I felt like, I took
science but I switched to Humanities because my companions were there. They were all arts
class and I was in Science. I was homesick and was crying lot. Then I just thought, I dont
want science. Because I am already in the class…uhh.. First of all I have sta.. Joined very
late, I have lost a lot of portion. Exams are coming and I will find difficult to catch up with
this portion. So I switched to Humanities. Then I was little bit kind of you know,
uhh..pcch…I was discouraged saying that for what I came to join the convent? Food was not
going, because homesick no when we will become homesick we feel like we are depressed,
discouraged, so there was a time that came to my mind, simply I came to become sister.

Interviewer

Then? How did you persist?

Participant

Then sisters would ..uhh..tell when you feel like that go and sit in front of Jesus.Surrender
your feelings..everything that is happening in your heart. Ofcourse I would sahre with my
peers no..They also were going through same struggle

Interviewer

Hmm

Participant
 25

Because coming from the family and then the whole time-table shifts no..so then it is difficult
to adjust with the situation.

Interviewer

Ohhh

Participant

There was a strong desire, heart to heart. But like that no Devil bring kind of things just to get
you through. But then I was like able to say to myself..No. You have to persevere
here…that's why. So..And it was like very difficult like two years we had only khichadi

Interviewer

Ohh

Participant

Convent had good..very good food. But we used to get food from the school. Everyday
khichadi was prepared for the children. That khichadi. That was like..food was another very
important factor that we were struggling for actually

Interviewer

Hmm

So immediately after you joined the convent you did your studies also simultaneously.

Participant

Hmm +1, +2

Interviewer

So you shifted from science to arts

Participant

Within three days..Within three days ..Yea because of portion ..means I went to Velankanni
no

Okay so one month is gone like picnic and all

Interviewer
 26

Ohh

Participant

Okay so before you could join lets go for picnic

Interviewer

Okay

Participant

So there was a big trip

Interviewer

Ohh

Participant

So I lost a lot of classes. Exams were coming up. Internal. So I just thought Let it be. Anyway
I camr to become sister no. Science Humanitites doesnt matter. So I just went with my
companions. They were four of them. They were in one class and I was only one in the
science in the convent. So I changed..But sometimes it really hint me Like I would have
taken science. I would have cope up with those studies

Interviewer

Okay

Participant

Because People think that uhh…Science is very like no higher level

Interviewer

Hmm

Participant

But I dont think that. Actually there is lot of importance for uhh..Arts and social studies
actually

Interviewer
 27

Right..Hmm… So umm..So you did your, you got your first uhh profession in 2016. So how
was that phase between 2011 and 2016?

Participant

(Pause)..There were some very joyous moments as well as very painful also. Because
sometimes I used to hear things happening in the family as well and also the atmosphere in
the communities like there was a lot of comparison between the peers right, so those who are
doing well they would say, “Conzita what are you doing? Look at that Uhh..Hazel She is
doing so well.

Interviewer

Hmm

Participant

This kind of comparison. Then sometimes we were not felt wanted, loved, no attention given,
our needs were not fulfilled. So this two years in Maharashtra like okay we were struggling
but we were studying also. We didnt feel these two years went very fast also. When I came to
Kerala, for one year postulancy, this year also was very good. We were learning like more
about uhh..our bible, religious life, how to relate with different people who come from the
different states and the different places. We were engaged in uhh..Like different manual work
like gardening, cooking, house cleaning, to clean the houses.

Interviewer

Hmm

Participant

Ofcourse prayer life was very much relevant and it was.. A lot of time was given for prayer
life

Interviewer

Hmm.. So uhh now that you are been a nun for many years. Since 2016, you received your
habit right, so

Participant

Six years
 28

Interviewer

Si…Six years..uhh so How was your conviction before joining the convent and how is it
now?

Participant

Yea so after my first profession, the first transfer was in a place where I was like a pioneer..
To open something and I was just twenty years old and that sister was just..she was almost
60years years old..but I was like you know ..difference between the age. I never seen that
sister. We were just first time coming to stay together. The between years wee really tough
and I cried a lot. But as the days went by I felt like yes, Thank God that I have become sister
because that kind of satisfaction I got for being in that wonderful place in just like very ..you
know..Bishops had given us opportunity to teach in the school. They had given a small
classroom. That whole day would be very very ..like what do I say very…like means very
busy schedule. Get up at four o clock cook food for both of us and then go to school and
return come at three o clock. In between if I get any hour I would come and make rice. Since
I was small no, I wouldn't give any work to the elder sister. And it was a classroom so we
were just next to the classroom so whenever I would get the time I would make the food. We
had nothing we brought. I t is like a new life that we started there and then come back again
Go to take hostel children study go to the villages..villages were very far. We would come at
10-10.30 back. There was no one to gossip, comparison, we would be so tired but ofcourse at
the end of the day when we examine ourselves no, I have done something for the day That
was there

Interviewer

Yeah

Participant

And children were coming from the villages no..so they would share a lot of things. Now
think my..I ean my feelings are nothing because they have so much to share. They have very
grievous life to be faced to. And my feelings are nothing. Whatever was happening to me in
my life it is just one percent they have fifty percent of sorrows in the life. So thats why I
forget all my worries and my tensions that I had. And those you years were very very very
like unforgettable years in my life. Of Course after two years because of the study purpose I
 29

went to Kerala, three years. Even these three years were very good. But not so much good
than this where I was.

Interviewer

Hmm

Participant

Because this was like very luxurious place. And ofcourse we had a lot of work to be done,
prayer life. Then I came to Bangalore, Rajajinagar, to do my spirituality course for four
months.

Interviewer

When

Participant

Last year

Okay

Participant

We had intensive preparation for final profession. That time also was little bit tough because
the person who was taking care of us was little bit psychic. Who always bring in some kind
of discrimination, comparison, her way of thinking was different. So I dont like those days of
staying there for four months.

Interviewer

Okay

Participant

Then I finished my profession, final profession. Had a good celebration at home. Even in
Pune and then i came back here

Interviewer

Ohh

When you came…When you came back sister?

 30

Participant

August. Before that I had gone to Shillong Meghalaya to bring vocations

Interviewer

Woah

Participant

Hmm (Smiling)

Interviewer

How was that experience?

Participant

It was wonderful like uhh… Going literally and asking Do you want to join (chuckles) do you
want to join (Chuckles again).

It is like big you know responsibility was given to me. Sisters were there in the chapel said
that you did it well. Going so far. We had lot of inconveniences also

Interviewer

Hmm

Participant

But like, I was like St Michael. St Michael is my patron saint.

Interviewer

Ohh wow

Participant

I was just telling like help us. One time it came like trains are cancelled, rain can come and
these sisters had to go and write the exams. So it was very much big problem that we faced.
But then they booked the tickets for us for flight and ..uhh..yea We all ten of us were there.
And three days when we were going from here, tickets were not confirmed. And we had haste
the days of staying in the train for three days

Interviewer
 31

Hmm

Participant

But there was one couple who gave us seat to sleep so we were two sisters, while coming ten
of us. Like that, means like God was there. If we trust in God’s providence God will really
help us

Interviewer

Hmm..great. So umm..uhh.. What is..what aspects about religious life do you love the most?

Participant

I would say, prayer life also and mission life. Mostly mission. Because uhh..I think see..there
are some people who do only mission. They dont have time to pray. There are people who
onlypray and dont do mission. I feel that prayer and mission go hand in hand

Interviewer

Hmm..okay. And what are the challenges that you know, you face as a nun like, not only
formation, but in general, religious life. What are the main challenges you find most difficult?

Participant

You mean personally or generally

Interviewer

Both

Participant

Yeah. I feel like uhh.. In religious people are becoming very narrow minded. They. Since I
have come here, I can see like they are lot of broad minded. But in religious life they ..they
are only thinking about themselves. How much to eat? When to eat? Because we are getting
everything in our hand. Like everything is available to us. We haven’t to uhh work for that.
Okay. Sisters are working. But we know that we are secure. We are protected. We..uhh…we
are not using our critical thinking. Not taking efforts what can be done. We are sta.. We have
become very static. The world is running very fast and the sisters are very ignorant to this e
learning, e techniques, Okay? So these are the factors that we need to improve upon

Interviewer
 32

So you are saying the narrowmindedness, still they are ..still it is like stuck in the past

Participant

Yes

Interviewer

Thats why..Okay

On a personal level what are the challenges that you feel?

Participant

(Pause)

Personal level that I feel is to improve my personal prayer life.

Interviewer

Hm

Participant

Personal prayer life and walk according to the signs of times. Which I am not

Interviewer

What do you basically mean according to the signs of times

Participant

Since I was in the convent life, all this years first time when I come here I had to study with
my ..with uhh..lay students..right. There I was studying in my own community. Own college.
So we didnt get like freedom to move around like freely we could not take part because at
one point we feel like who will do that let it be. So there was no kind of initiative was taken
from my side. But here I feel that I am more free in my feelings, thoughts, ideas you know

Interviewer

So..Umm..you mentioned a lot of struggles, no ..right from childhood, Even after you joined
the convent. Type of struggles, different struggles were always there. But what made you not
give up? What made you to stay in this decision that you have taken

Participant
 33

From my childhood I was very much determined about my vocation. As in..I wanted to
become sister and till today its like my prayer life is making me to come closer to God I think
and even if I go to different place also, even if I get transferred..I cry a lot because of the new
situation. When I came here, there was no one for me. But I spent my maximum time in the
chapel. iIn front of the blessed sacrament. This was the first time that i didnt feel kind of
loneliness. So I would just So this credit goes to everytime I have spent with Jesus, that
strong conviction is there in me.

Interviewer

Okay

Uhh… If not a nun. If you wouldnt have become a nun. What would you be ..uhh..What do
you imagine yourself being?

Participant

Hmm.. Of course I would have got married.

Interviewer

Okay

Participant

Because I never think of like single life, because which I dont like. Means you should have
your family life, otherwise become sister in religious life. So I would really..I would get
married, I would have been walking as a nurse

Interviewer

As a nurse..

Participant

As a nurse. I like that profession so much. It is like you are giving life to someone. Of course
teaching also I like. But at a second thought, I had thought to become doctor also.

Interviewer

Okay..Hmm..So..What do you think is the main purpose of your life

 34

Participant

I just want to be happy and make people happy who come to my life. And serve people very
passionately.

Interviewer

Hmm

Participant

Sometimes, when I do something na…I forget about myself. Then some people may ask
Conzita why are you doing for that person? That person only wont know like. I said no, we
need to give hundred percent of our efforts

Interviewer

Wow

Interviewer

Hmm

Participant

And I always, if someone tells, Conzita if you leave and go there is no future, I strongly say
to them. I will never leave.

Interviewer

Woww..Hmm

So you believe that the lord will be there until the end.

Participant

Yes

Interviewer

So the last question i would like to ask, what uhh.. Would you want to tell people who are
discerning religious life. Likee..pcchh….in confusion as to their..they want to also pursue
religious life and at the same time they are looking at what the things they have to give
up…the struggles. What would you say to them
 35

Participant

I would really suggest, those who are aspiring to become religious like, they should have a
proper time to think. Not just after tenth standard like I joined. I think after their UG, PG
uhh…when they are going for work..going for job..That is the best time I think to discern the
vocation

Interviewer

Why do you think so?

Participant

Because that time..it is the time of maturity. When I was 15 years old I decided to become
sister, Ofcourse it was a lifelong process that I have been discerning..But I think since it was
in my hand. There are some people they get get intuition at particular time right. There are
people who are working in abroad at the age of 22, 23, 24 they get a call from God. That is
the best time to get a call and to discern your vocation

Interviewer

Hmm

Wow.. Yeah I think that answered pretty much whatever I wanted to ask. Do you have
anything to add or to ask to me?

Participant

No

Interviewer

Okay. Thank you so much sister for this small…for this time that you have given for me. It is
very much appreciated. You have an inspiring story. All the information thst you have shared
it will be amde sure that no confidential details would be gone out. Again thank you so much.
I really enjoyed this time with you.

Participant

Thank you so much

36