A more people-friendly workplace: What should be done?

It is a well-known fact that the work of an employee in a comfortable environment is much more
efficient. However, we often hear complaints from employees of different companies about the company
not focusing on providing people-friendly workplace for them./about the lack of providing-this way
you do not repeat yourself The question to be answered is that/the following: how can we achieve that
the workplaces be more people-friendly? /how can workplaces be made more people-friendly
Turning to the first point, recent research indicates that the eyesight of the majority of employees
is worsening due to the bad lighting in their offices. Not to mention the fact that, in some cases, even the
ventilation is not provided. As a result, employees’ work is not only ineffective, but we often receive
complaints about terrible, long-term headaches, leading to the departure-THIS WORD IS USED
MAINLY FOR PLANES./ LEADING TO THE LEAVING OF THE MAJORITY OF THE STAFF. of
many employees. From my point of view, this seems to be a great issue, what is in need to be solved. For
instance we should help them with the medical bills regarding eye problems./ ANOTHER solution would
be to use bigger windows so that the offices can have more natural light.
YOU REPEAT EMPLOYEE MANY TIMES. In connection with the question of a more people-
friendly workplace, allowing employees to decorate their own workplace, is another possible way to
achieve a more comfortable environment for working. Despite the fact that, may many people find this
unconvincing, all the evidence suggests that a flower on your desk or even a family picture can indeed
reduce stress. The more confident is an employee, the more the quality of their work will increase.
In conclusion it is clear that much could be done to meet the need for a people-friendly
workplace, and it is hard to prioritize just one way. Nevertheless, I firmly believe that providing proper
lighting in offices and nice ventilation is the most effective action, as the employee’s health is a
fundamental need.

14 POINTS- TAKE care of repetition and more vocabulary

 The technology and its affects-TECHNOLOGY AND ITS EFFECTS
Over the past decade, there has been a significant increase in technology usage, and it is not a
surprising fact, that our daily lives are greatly affected by its features. In this essay I would like to share
my personal viewpoint on this topic, answering the question of what is the aspect that is most affected by
this impact.
To begin with, the impact of technology on communication has been enormous, providing us with
instant communication, global reach, and increased efficiency. Not only did this introduced/INTRODUCE
new forms of communication such as emojis, GIFs, and memes, but also now we are able to facetime
each other even if we are in different countries. However, it also has some negative effects that we must
be aware of. One of the most significant drawbacks of chatting, texting, is that it can limit our ability to
read facial expressions and body language.
On the other hand, technology has also affected the way we make/BUILD relationships. In
today’s world individuals have more friends on the internet than in real life. They seem to care more for
them, since they spend more time chatting to/WITH cyber friends, than they do to real world friends.
While I can understand the feeling of what can be offered by being a part of a wider community, yet this
may be outweighed by its negative effects. As a result, this will increase individuals’ social anxiety,
leading to difficulty maintaining relationships.
In the light of the above, all the evidence suggests that relationships are the most affected by
technology. While it is true that technology made( the) communication a lot easier, however, the impact of
the technology has been THE greatest on (the) relationships, since its affects reach/RICH people
emotionally as well as practically.
17 points- this essay is a lot better, cohesive, coherent and you linked your ideas.