Find Your Home

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/35828368.

Rating: Mature
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: F/M
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The
Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb), The Amazing Spider-Man
(Movies) RPF, Loki (TV 2021)
Relationship: Peter Parker/Gwen Stacy, Loki & Peter Parker
Character: Peter Parker, Gwen Stacy, Loki (Marvel), mentions of Stephen Strange,
Andrew! Peter Parker, Spider-Woman, Harry Osborn, Liz Allan
Additional Tags: Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker is a Mess, Past Peter
Parker/Gwen Stacy, Multiverse, Post-Spider-Man: No Way Home
(Movie), Spider-Man: No Way Home (Movie), Spider-Man: No Way
Home (Movie) Spoilers, Good Loki (Marvel), Loki & Peter Parker
Friendship, Adult Peter Parker, Multiple Universes Colliding, Angst,
Fluff, Angst and Feels, Hurt/Comfort, Multiverse of Madness, Domestic
Fluff, Angst and Tragedy, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Feels, Peter Parker
Feels, Gwen Stacy is Spider-Man, Peter Parker is Trying His Best
Language: English
Stats: Published: 2021-12-20 Completed: 2021-12-22 Chapters: 4/4 Words:
10523

Find Your Home

by aphrsditea

Summary

It was insane.

He couldn’t — shouldn’t — do it.

So he decided he would.

He was going to travel through the multiverse until he found Gwen Stacy.

Notes

After watching No Way Home for the third time, I decided I could not take this hurt
anymore and so, I began writing this ^^

It contains minor spoilers for the movie, so don't read if you haven't watched it yet and you
don't want to be spoiled?

It features Andrew's Peter Parker from tasm movies, Gwen Stacy from the same universe,
Loki from the TVA and everything is set after No Way Home and before/in the midst of
Multiverse of Madness. It was supposed to be a one-shot but I don't like 10k word one-shots
so I split it into three parts? Hope you like it.

Anyways, hope you enjoy it!

 Right Where You Left Me
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

Strangers get born, strangers get buried

Trends change, rumors fly through new skies
But I’m right where you left me

It was insane. Jesus Christ, he had to snap out of it . Because it was crazy and insane and
irresponsible and not something a “superhero” — aka the friendly neighborhood spiderman —
would so. He had to be out of his mind. It was insane .

But it was all real! The multiverse. The QCD. All of it was real and he had seen himself in other
universes, hadn’t he? He had seen Peter Parkers from other universes. Maybe — just fucking
maybe — there was more than one Gwen Stacy ( his Gwen Stacy) in other universes. And he
thought…

“No,” he said it out loud for better measure. “You can’t do this, Peter.”

Couldn’t he?

Didn’t the other Peter Parker (Jesus Christ, it was confusing even in his head. Peter 1. It was Peter
1) literally decide to brainwash the entire world so he could send his girlfriend to college? For
Pete’s sake, Peter only wanted to see Gwen one more time… What if there was a universe where he
wasn't Spider-Man and Peter Parker wasn’t in love with Gwen Stacy? Couldn’t that universe be
where he lived? What did he have to make him stay in this universe if leaving it meant seeing
Gwen? Maybe there was a happy ending for him somewhere in this vast multiverse.

It was insane.

He couldn’t — shouldn’t — do it.

So he decided he would.

He was going to travel through the multiverse until he found Gwen Stacy.

———

I cause no harm, mind my business

If our love died young, I can’t bear witness
And it’s been so long

Not for the first time since he decided to carry on with the craziest idea in his life, he wished he
had asked that wizard how to do it. Peter 1 had said it was a magic spell gone wrong that had
enabled them to travel through multiverses. But how the fuck — excuse his French — was he
supposed to find a wizard whose spell could go wrong?

Maybe there was another Stephen Strange in his universe? Maybe there was someone — the
Sorcerer Supreme? — who could help him?

He knew the logistics; he was aware that this was a long shot and that by the technology they had,
there was no way he could travel through the multiverse. He had spent the last month reading
every book about every theory related to parallel universes, multiverse, infinite possibilities and yet
nothing had made him believe that he could cross the multiverse with only his willpower and the
junks he had collected in his basement (and yes, his landlord was not happy. “It’s for Spider-Man,”
Peter had said and it calmed the old lady with a crush on him down. Still, it hadn’t stopped her
from giving shit about the rent to Peter. But whatever. Jesus.).

He needed a miracle.

A magician.

And he knew an address, didn’t he? Granted, it was based on what he had seen in a parallel
universe but his other selves did live in Queens, didn’t they? All of them had an aunt May and an
uncle Ben. And all of them knew the infamous line that brought the death of the teller, “With great
power comes great responsibility.” So maybe, there was a wizard hiding away in 177A Bleecker
Street and Peter just needed to find him.

So he threw his book on the shelf, wore his suit under his clothes (just in case the wizard wasn’t
happy to see him) and crawled out of his window (he didn’t have rent money and he couldn’t
afford to tell Mrs. Muggins that he still hadn’t managed to find the rent money right now). Going
there, he didn’t have high hopes.

That MJ girl from Peter 1’s universe (he decided to call it Earth-19999 just cause it was a cool
name and it made it seem like he had travelled through space) (which he kind of had) (and it was
awesome) had a good saying, “Expect disappointment, and you won’t be disappointed.” Or
something like that. So that was what Peter expected. Nothing.

The chances of a wizard being there was close to zero, right? There was very little chance he could
see anyone doing magic — hell, until two months ago, even he didn’t think magic was real and
Peter was essentially a human spider!

When he reached the building, he could already feel even the tiniest bit of hope leaving his body. It
didn’t look anything like what Peter 1 had described. There was no mystical looking sign, no
weird-looking people and definitely not a flying cloak. He couldn’t see anything that could
remotely be related to the grim, moody wizard he had seen on Earth-19999. It was a dead-end and
he knew it would be and it was okay, wasn't it? He did not expect anything to come out of —

“Where the fuck is Stephen Strange?” a husky voice growled as the door to 177A Bleecker Street
opened and a dark-haired man in a suit was thrown out on the street. “I refuse to be manhandled by
a human! Just tell me where Stephen Strange —” and bang. The door was slammed to his face as
the pissed off man turned to look at the street, annoyance vivid in his face. “Bloody Midgardians.”

He was tall — taller than Peter, at least — his hair was long, straight and as far as Peter could tell
he hadn’t taken a shower in days judging by the way his greasy hair sat on his shoulders. It wasn’t
long before the strange-looking stranger spotted him, his eyes narrowing, “And what are you
looking at, Midgardian?”
“Nothing, sir,” Peter spat the words out, standing straight. “Just — um, sir, I was looking for
Stephen Strange as well and um —”

“How do you know Stephen, boy?” The man’s voice was alert now as he took a menacing,
painfully slow step towards Peter. He fought not to take a step backwards and keep his chin high.

“I — I don’t, really. I mean, I do but —”

“Use your words, Midgardian,” the man hissed. “Do you know where Stephen Strange resides in
your universe?”

“No, I — my universe?” Peter’s eyes widened as he registered the words of the man in front of him.
“Damn, you are from another universe, aren’t you? How did you —” he had so many questions, so
many —

“Oh, bloody hell,” the man growled under breath as he started walking away before Peter could
utter another word, vanishing slowly in front of him and no, he couldn’t let that happen. So Peter
did what any insane person would do. Before the stranger could vanish in a green blaze, he threw a
web his way, almost immediately feeling a pull in his gut as his head spun. The moment he opened
his eyes again, he doubted they were in New York.

“ What do you think you are doing?! ” the stranger almost shouted as Peter let go of the web,
looking around him curiously.

“Woah, what is this?” he asked, walking towards a pointy thing with a glowing head. “Wow, it’s
glowing. Is that a rock in there? Where did you bring us?”

“How did you hold onto me?” the stranger asked, ignoring his questions as he yanked the sceptre
away from Peter. “Don’t touch that, mortal.”

“It’s a web thing — I made it myself, long story,” Peter dismissed his question as he eyed all the
outdated, strange looking things around the room. Granted, the room was dim but he could still
make out enough to know that the person in front of him wasn’t a normal day-to-day human being.
“What did you mean my universe? What universe do you come from?”

“A universe where Midgardians mind their own businesses.”

“I’m not Midgardian, sir. I’m from Queens,” Peter explained to him, his attention finally back on
the stranger. “Peter Parker, sir.”

“I don’t care,” he dismissed him. “And now, you ought to leave.”

“But, no,” Peter hurriedly said, moving away from the stranger as he stood out of his reach. “You
need to help me.”

“And why do I need to do that, huh?” His British accent was now really hard to comprehend as his
voice went down to a snake-like hiss, his green eyes glaring at Peter.

“Because,” Peter cleared his voice, “I think we are looking for the same person.”

“And that automatically makes us… what? Partners?”

“No, sir,” Peter shrugged. “Only allies, I suppose? Look, they say two heads are better than one.”

“Don’t they also tell children not to trust strangers?” the stranger drawled, “you are no older than a
child, yourself. Why must you follow a man through a magical portal, I wonder, not fearing for
your life.”

“I’m more than capable of protecting myself, sir,” Peter shrugged. He was. “And I am hardly a kid.
Well, we almost look the same age —”

“Gods, we most certainly are not —”

“— and I do need to find Strange, I hear he’s a wizard —”

“— will you stop talking —”

“— and you look like a wizard and really, all I need is a wizard from another uni —”

“— how do you know I’m a wizard? —”

“— you walked through a portal, anyways, I need to go to other universes and I hear Strange can
help me because I really need to see this person —”

“— get out —”

“— so I really need your help, Mr. Wizard!”

“— Gods, will you just stop talking? ” the stranger cut him off, rubbing his forehead. “And I’m not
a wizard. I’m a sorcerer and I am not Mr. Wizard. I’m Loki Laufeyson; prince of Asgard. The
rightful king of Jotunheim and well, I suppose I am burdened with glorious purpose.”

“Ass-gard?” Peter choked the words out. “Is that a place in England? I had not heard of that, Mr.
Loki —”

“Do you not know where Asgard is?” Loki interrupted him, his eyes cold as he summoned a
notebook (that freaking flew to him, giving Peter a proper startle), scribbling some things down. “I
suppose this is one of the universes my brother hasn’t graced. Strange, I thought all of them knew
about Gods and —”

“You’re a god ?”

“— in another universe, they did call us Norse mythology, didn’t they? I suppose so. Ah…”

“So, anyways,” Peter cleared his throat, shaking his head. He was slowly beginning to think that
maybe this Loki man wasn’t the most trustworthy person to find Stephen Strange. “Stephen
Strange? Multiverse? Can we go back to that?”

“Ah, yes,” Loki’s head snapped up as if he had just remembered it. “So you are one of the only
Midgardians that knows about the multiverse, are you not? Are you some sort of a hero on this
Earth? An avenger?”

“Avengers? You know about them? Are you from Peter 1’s universe?”

“I don’t suppose I know what you are talking about with all the numbering business.”

“Um, right, no,” Peter shifted on his feet, rubbing the back of his neck again as he ran a hand
through his hair. “I’m not part of the avengers. Actually, we don’t have avengers here? I’m a
superhero, I guess, though. Spider — Spider-Man, sir. I’m Spider-Man.”

“Oh, that ought to be a new branch of humans. Last time I was on earth, Iron-Man was the most
famous one of them.”

“We don’t have that here.”

“I see,” Loki rubbed his chin. “And why do you seek Strange?”

“Because I need to go to another universe,” Peter swallowed, taking a deep breath. “I — I am

looking for someone. Gwen Stacy? She was um, she was… someone I — loved. And — I want to
see her again.”

“Maybe go to her house, then?” Loki mocked him but Peter (call him crazy) swore that he saw a
flash of hurt in his eyes.

“I can’t — she’s, um, she’s gone. Because of me. Because I couldn’t stop them. And I need to —
see her again. So if you know where I can…” his voice drifted off as he noticed Loki was no
longer listening to him, lost in his thoughts. It was as if the sorcerer in front of him was millions of
miles away as Peter shifted on his feet. “Loki — sir, I —”

“I can teleport you through the multiverse.”

“What?”

“Are you deaf, mortal? I can send you to the one you seek.”

“And why — why would you do that?” Peter asked. He had learned (and through the hard ways)
not to trust people with accents in all-Black suits who seem to want to kill you at first and then
suddenly change their minds.

“Gods, are you serious?” Loki sighed. “Do you want this or not?”

“I do!” Peter said, “I just don’t know why you suddenly want to help me.”

“Maybe I know a thing or two about not being able to save the people you love,” the man said and
his eyes were sad and he seemed just a little bit broken and Peter’s tingle didn’t set off an alarm so
he took a deep breath.

“Okay, then.”

———

I, I swear you could hear a hair pin drop

Right when I felt the moment stop
Glass shattered on the white cloth

He trusted this Loki man. And it was crazy. Almost as crazy as wanting to travel through universes
to find his… Gwen. And yet, he wanted to do both of them; trust this strange man and go through
the multiverse.

“We will go through universes together. You focus on finding your Gwen and I will search for
Stephen Strange and if neither of us found them by nightfall we will meet each other in this very
 spot,” — Central Park — “and we will jump into another universe.”

“Okay,” Peter nodded, making sure his web shooter had enough fluid.

“If you don’t show up by midnight, I will assume you found her and I will leave you behind and
you’re going to be forever stuck. Is that understood?”

“Completely.”

“Brilliant,” Loki rolled his eyes and his sarcasm was not lost on Peter. “Now, it is a complicated
spell so I suggest if you have any words to spit out, do them right now before I get started on
casting it.”

“Why do you want to find Stephen Strange?”

“None of your business.”

“Well, I told you my reason,” Peter said matter-of-factly. “It’s only fair that you tell me yours.”

“Let’s say, there’s another sorcerer on the loose and I need Stephen’s help to find her and bring
back what I’ve lost. Same as you, I suppose, then.”

“Aha,” Peter nodded sympathetically. “Got you. Lover’s spat?”

“Please don’t ever say those words.”

“Roger that.”

“Oh dear, just shut up, Parker.”

“You got it,” Peter said, nodding as he looked down. He was nervous and he tended to talk a lot of
shit when he was nervous. He took a deep breath. It was going to be okay. He was going to find her
and he was going to stay with her and maybe, just maybe, it was going to be all fine… he had to
make sure of it this time.

“Ready, Parker?” Loki asked one last time and Peter nodded.

“Of course.”

Multiverse, here he came.

Chapter End Notes

Mrs. Muggins was Spider-Man's landlady in early spidey comics so I figured it'd be a
nice nod to mention her briefly here.
The lyrics are from Right Where You Left Me by Taylor Swift.

If you liked the chapter comment and leave kudos, please? I seek confirmation from
others!! (Also talk to me about nwh? please?)
 Exile
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

I think I’ve seen this film before

And I didn’t like the ending
You’re not my homeland anymore…
So what am I defending now?

Maybe it was the wrong decision. No, not maybe. It was definitely the wrong decision. Peter
decided that as soon as he landed in New York. What if Gwen was actually here? Then what?
What could he do? He couldn’t go up to her and say, “Hello, you might not know me — or maybe
you might, I don’t know. But I’m here from another universe and in my universe, you and I were in
love and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, but then some villains interrupted us and
you followed me into the battle and my best-friend who had turned into a psychotic murderer tried
to kill you and you fell and I tried to catch you but I was too late and you died in my arms and it
was my fucking fault but I — I couldn’t do anything. It’s been seven years since then but I haven’t
— been able to forgive myself and two months ago, I found out the multiverse is real, so I decided
to come to another universe to see you and — tell you that I’m sorry and that… God, I want to stay
here… because I love you. And by the way, a wizard I met literally two hours ago is helping me
with all this, so there’s that as well. What do you think?”

Crazy. Fucking crazy.

He should just turn back is what he should do. But he couldn’t. Because Loki was there and he
looked near mad and he rolled his eyes and deadpanned, “Clock is ticking Spider-Boy.”

“It’s Spider-Man.”

“You don’t seem like the name,” Loki smirked with a wink as he walked away. “See you at
midnight. Or not. Depends on your luck, Spidey-Boy.”

“Now, it’s just rude,” Peter muttered under his breath before stretching himself, looking around the
park. It was so early in the morning, nearly empty of any humans as Peter made sure no part of his
costume was visible and walked out to the nearest newspaper booth, snatching up the first copies.
No Daily Bugle — no “SPIDER-MENACE OF NYC” in the headlines.

“Looking for something in particular, fella?” the old man behind the counter asked, eyeing Peter
carefully. “New York Times is on the —”

“I’m going to have to ask you a very weird question, man,” Peter interrupted him with a nervous
chuckle. “Do you — um, do you have heroes here?”

“Heroes?”

“Like, um, Superman?”

“Yes! Yes! Superman, God bless him,” the man gushed, his southern accent spilling through his
words. “He saved my grandson, did you know that? The poor boy was on the bridge when Lex
Luthor — may he burn in hell — snatched their car up. Superman was there, saved my boy. God
bless him.”

Peter swallowed. So… they really had… the Superman. “Oh,” he swallowed again. His throat was
clogged. “Um, what other heroes? Spider-Man, then? Um, do you have a Spider-Man?”

“Spider-Man?” the man asked, cocking his head. “Nah, kid. Haven’t heard of that fella. Batman,
yes. Spider-Man? Nah. My memory ain’t helping.”

“Oh, th — thank you, sir. Have a nice day!” Peter gushed, taking a deep breath. If Gwen was here
— if his Gwen was here — he could stay, couldn’t he? He could be the Spider-Man of this
universe, he could —

No .

He should find Gwen.

Thirty minutes later, he was in front of Aunt May’s house. “Here we go,” he whispered as he
inched closer to the door, his hand shaking as he struggled to knock. He could do this. But what if
he opened the door? Jesus Christ. He took a step back.

It was insane. Against the laws of nature.

He couldn’t do this.

He took another step back, shaking his head. He wasn’t going to do this — what if something had
happened to her in this universe? What if she didn’t exist? What if he was setting himself up for
more pain? “No,” he breathed. He was going to go home and he wasn’t going to come back with
Loki ever again. His life was messed up enough as it was… he didn’t need more —

“Oh, please,” a familiar voice said from behind him, making him jump.

“Shit,” he cursed as he jerked back, looking at Loki behind him with a smirk on his face. “What
the hell are you doing here?”

“I was done for the day but since we do have since midnight, I figured I’d watch you, but I must
admit, so far, you’ve been very disappointing.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Peter rolled his eyes, his offense visible in his tone. “What if I
am in there? We can’t mess with the reality of —”

“Boy genius, in case you haven’t noticed, we are already messing with the reality of this universe,”
Loki rolled his eyes. “And aren’t you here to find the supposed love of your life? I’m afraid
standing on your own porch isn’t the way to do it, darling.”

“Don’t call me darling,” Peter flinched. “And — it’s just —”

But before Peter could complete his sentence, Loki was knocking on the door. “What the f —”
“Coming,” someone said from the other side of the door. Loki cocked an eyebrow as he smirked at
Peter, nodding him forward. “Jesus,” he mouthed the word Loki straightened his back, standing
next to Peter.

“Smile, you’ll scare yourself.”

“Shut u —” — the door swung open — “Hi!” he gulped.

“Hello,” a young boy said, rubbing his eyes. “How can I help you?”

“P — Peter Parker?”

“N — No,” he tripped over his words, color draining from his face. “H — how do you know him?
Were you one of his friends?”

“Yes, you could say that,” Loki answered before Peter could open his mouth. “Would you mind
calling him to the door?”

“It’s — I can’t,” the boy said, his face growing paler by second.

“Why not? Is he not in?” Peter asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“He’s gone.”

“Where?”

“He’s — he’s dead,” the boy said. “He died fighting Kingpin — two weeks ago.”

“What?” Peter choked the words as his eyes widened, taking a step back. What the hell had
happened in this universe? Kingpin? He was dead? How could this —

He heard some mumbles in the background as Loki spoke with the boy and eventually, the door
was slammed into their faces with Loki looking at him with blazing green eyes. “Dead, darling.
You are dead in this peculiar universe.”

“ Dead ?” Peter tasted the word. It tasted bitter.

“Apparently, your girlfriend, Mary Jane Watson is going to attend a memorial for you this Friday,”
Loki shrugged. “As Mary Jane has no common syllables with Gwen, I suppose we are in the wrong
universe.”

Peter took a deep breath.

He was dead. And he had an MJ.

Not his universe.

“You’re right,” Peter took a deep breath. Expect disappointment and you won’t be disappointed , he
was disappointed, though. Fuck. it wasn’t going to pan out with the first attempt. He needed to get
over it. “Jesus. Let’s go…”

Loki only nodded and it wasn’t long before he felt the now-familiar pull in his stomach.

———

Second, third and hundredth chances

Balancing on breaking branches
Those eyes add insult to injury
The first thing he saw was Gwen. God, she was there and she was beautiful and alive and her hair
was shining and she looked older than the last time he saw her — in his arms, silent, cold, gone.
She had lived and goddamn it, she was so alive .

He choked. He choked on air and he felt his heart being torn to pieces and then being put back as
his pulse picked up, looking at her, fidgeting in the room behind the church, looking nervous and
excited and he wanted to throw up and he wanted to go down and feel her skin, to make sure she
was arm and her heart was beating and that she was fine.

God, she was alive.

He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to ask her to kill him. He wanted to ask her to forgive him. God,
he wanted to kiss her .

His head was spinning and his heart was on the verge of exploding as he went through the motions
in a matter of milliseconds, making him shake with force as he stared at her. Even if he wanted to,
he couldn’t look away. Gwen — his Gwen. His lovely and kind and brave Gwen. his breath
hitched, feeling his insides tearing open as he watched her moving around the room, checking her
phone.

The second thing he noticed was the wedding dress.

“Gwen, are you ready to put that gorgeous dress on?” a girl said as she entered the room, making
Gwen jump up for a split second before smiling. And God, her smile . For the past seven years, he
had imagined and reimagined it. The way she scrunched up her nose and grinned, showing her
teeth, her eyes lighting up. And his memories, the pictures he had, couldn’t hold a candle to what
he was seeing in front of his eyes.

She was shining, gleaming and radiating the warmth of a thousand suns. Her blue eyes were bright
as she swept her blond hair back, a giggle leaving her throat. “I’m getting married,” she said in
between the giggles, her hands covering her eyes as she squealed. “Oh my God, I can’t even
believe it!”

“I know, right?” the girl said, taking the dress off the racks, trying to smooth it as she licked her
lips. “I can only imagine Peter’s reaction when he sees you in this. He’s so going to faint.”

Gwen let out another loud laugh, shaking her head. “Don’t be mean. If he faints, how are we going
to exchange vows?” she said before taking the dress and disappearing to put on the dress as Peter’s
heart threatened to explode.

She was marrying Peter. Someone named Peter who could very well be him . And he wasn’t
Spider-Man or Wall-Crawler or any of those bullshit titles — he was just a guy who was going to
be Gwen Stacy’s husband. Peter’s insides clenched and unclenched and Peter felt his eyes filling
with tears. He didn’t know if he was happy that she was alive, well and happy on her wedding day
or if he was mourning the future they could have and they didn’t because…

Because of him.

Fuck.

“How do I look?” Gwen’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts as she reappeared in her white
gown, looking every bit like an angel as she twirled for her friend. Her cheeks were pink and
bright, her lips looking fresh and goddamn it, that dress .

“Like you are about to make Peter the happiest man on Earth,” her friend said, sniffling as she
hugged her, both of them holding onto each other.

“Speaking of Peter,” Gwen said when they pulled away. “How is he? Is he freaking out?”

“Of course he is,” her friends chuckled. “But don’t worry, Harry is keeping him in check. Mainly,
he’s worried you’ll realize you’re too good for him and call off the wedding. Especially with you
dad giving him a piece of his mind about what he’ll do if Peter so much as thinks to hurt his
precious little girl.”

“I told him to go easy on Peter,” Gwen sighed, sitting before the mirror as her friend fidgeted with
her hair. “But you know how fathers are, right, Liz? Didn’t your father give Harry a piece of his
mind after you two got engaged?”

“He sure did,” she chuckled. “Poor Harry was so pale when we went home after our engagement
dinner with my parents.” She — Liz? — ran a hand through Gwen’s hair, then, tucking a strand in.
“Is this okay?”

“Can I be honest?” Gwen said, her voice low and warm and fuzzy. It made Peter feel dizzy and
heartbroken and like he was under a wet, but warm, blanket. “I’m marrying Peter Parker today. I
don’t really care about my hair.”

“Aww, that was so corny, G. don’t ever say those words in front of me again,” Liz laughed,
making Gwen blush and let out a giggle. “I suppose this is okay, then.”

She was marrying Peter Parker — him. Fucking hell — they were normal and happy and in love
and about to get married. He couldn’t watch anymore. He couldn’t feel the happiness and feel so
empty inside that this was all right and his life was so, so fucking wrong. He couldn’t feel so happy
seeing her knowing that in a matter of hours he was forced to go back to his universe, alone and
heartbroken and guilty. He took a deep breath, slowly backing off the ledge. This universe was a
good one, wasn’t it? Kind to them both.

As he crawled out of the church, doing his best to go unnoticed, he heard Harry’s voice. “Parker,
Christ, calm down,” he said with a hint of a smile in his voice. “This tie looks fine .”

“I don’t want to look fine ,” Peter — it was his voice, thank God — groaned. “I want to look more
than fine .”

“Now you are just being an idiot,” Harry rolled his eyes — or Peter assumed he did. He wasn’t too
much of an idiot to sneak up to a room where essentially, he was in — before tutting, “Look, why
don’t I go and ask Liz and Gwen’s opinion on which one you should wear.”

“Yes, yes ! Why didn’t I think of that?” He heard himself say, “Also, see if Gwen’s alright, yeah?
If she needs anything? If she wants to call off the wedding yet? No, no, don’t ask her that! What if
she says yes and —”

“Jesus, Parker. Calm down, ” Harry laughed, shaking his head. “Be right back.”

Peter couldn’t watch anymore.

He had to get out of there before he did something stupid. Before he went up to himself and told
him not to screw up his life with Gwen, to protect her at all costs, to shield her from any harm that
could come to her. Before he went up to Gwen and went down on his knees and sobbed and begged
for forgiveness — begged her to forgive him because he hadn’t been able to give her the life she
deserved, the family they could have; begged her for being incapable of protecting her, saving her.
He had to get out of there before he went crazy with this soul-crushing grief. Before he did
anything stupid.

For the rest of the day, he sat on a bench in Central Park and closed his eyes. He didn’t open them
when an old woman asked for directions. He didn’t open them when police sirens told him that
crime was around. He didn’t open them when people cheered for Supergirl. If he opened them, if
he dared glance at the world around him, he’d do something stupid. He just shut them tight,
waiting for Loki.

He only opened them when the sorcerer showed up. “Couldn’t find her, loverboy?”

“No, I did,” he said, opening them. “But this isn’t a universe I’m allowed to stay in.”

“Right. Ready to go then?” Loki asked and Peter only nodded. He couldn’t trust himself to let the
words out, afraid that he might beg Loki to let him stay. To love Gwen from far, knowing this Peter
had her. He needed to go and he needed to be happy for them. For himself where he wasn’t a target,
an endangered “superhero”. So he nodded and the way Loki’s green eyes flashed made him think
that maybe the sorcerer knew. “Alright, then. So am I.”

And there was a familiar pull in his stomach.

———

You were my crown,

Now I’m in exile seeing you out
I think I’ve seen this film before
And I didn’t like the ending

It was dark when they appeared in the next universe. “Look, I suppose my work here will take
slightly longer,” Loki said as soon as he smelled the air around him. “Will you be alright on your
own?”

It was weird. Loki never asked him if he would be “alright”. Granted, he might’ve looked
miserable a few days ago when she was Gwen in a freaking wedding dress but he wasn’t not
alright . That was why he scoffed, rolling his eyes. “See you in twenty-four hours, Loki.”

The sorcerer nodded before disappearing in a puff of smoke, leaving Peter in the park. I will never
get used to him exiting like that, Peter thought, shaking his head as he stretched. He couldn’t tell
why but his senses were heightened, telling him that danger was near. “Alright, then,” he clicked
his tongue, walking out of the park as he hid his head under the hood of his hoodie.

But before he could get far, the sirens of police cars made his head snap up, taking a step back as
his senses went up, ready to get rid of his clothes and swing but before he could do anything, an
unfamiliar figure swung behind the police cars, her white, black and purple costume shining under
the lights of the New York City. “Holy shit,” Peter muttered under his breath. They looked so
graceful swinging from one building to the other, making Peter feel like maybe, his moves were
just clumsy.

Peter was quick to shed his doubts, crawling up the buildings, trying to go unnoticed as he kept his
distance, following the Spider-Person (Man or Woman? Not that it mattered. Peter didn’t care,
obviously…). “Look, Matt — I’m not here to mess around. So how about you just leave the money
behind while these nice Policemen arrest you?” Spider-Woman said — Peter could tell from her
voice who sounded dangerously like… Fuck — cocking her head.

“How about… no, Spidey?” the man in the red suit — Matt? — said, a smirk on his face. “How
about you try to catch me?”

“Alright, same old game of catch, then,” Spider-Woman said, shrugging with a smile as she
crouched, ready to jump. “Fine with me, Kingpin.” Before the sentence was over, she was jumping
towards the criminal but Matt was fast as she dodged, quickly getting into a car as they drove
away. Spider-Woman followed them furiously. Peter shouldn’t have followed them — it could
seriously mess with reality if he showed himself as Spider-Man but he couldn’t help the intrigue to
watch his other self (Woman and shorter, of course) kick some criminal ass.

It was long before Spider-Woman launched herself on the car they were driving, dodging the
bullets Matt was firing through the roof, trying to get the driver to stop. She was entirely focused
on the fight with the men, missing the fact that in less than four yards, a group of people were
passing the street, oblivious to the car driving towards them.

Peter shouldn’t have but he had already done many things he shouldn’t have and it didn’t matter
anyway when he could save the lives of people! So he got rid of his clothes, pulling his mask on as
he launched himself into the street, trying to clear the road as fast as he could. “Out of the way,
ma’am. Please, Aha, got you! Is that yours, sir?” Maybe he was too busy and that was why he
missed the way Spider-Woman seemed to stare at him before she punched the driver’s window,
throwing him out of the car.

“Catch him, Bug Boy,” she shouted at Peter as he jumped, webbing the driver up mid-air, hanging
him off a street light, joining Spider-Woman in the car. “Who are you?”

“It doesn’t matter, who is this guy?”

“Someone we should catch,” was all the explanation she offered and Peter found it better to oblige
as he nodded, catching Matt’s hand, trying to get rid of the weapon as Spider-Woman sat behind
the wheel, stopping the car. Thirty seconds later, Matt was all webbed off and Spider-Woman and
Peter had snuck up to a roof-top under the stars. “Jesus Christ,” she muttered as she looked at Peter.
“Who are you?”

“I’m uh — Spider-Man. It might sound — crazy? But I’m from another universe and I was here
looking for… Okay, you look like you are about to throw up,” Peter interrupted himself. She did.
Even under her costume, Peter could tell the way she was leaning forward. “I’m Spider-Man in my
world. Peter Parker, got bitten by a spider, same as you, I suppose. I’m here to look for someone.
My, um, my friend —”

“— Gwen Stacy?” Spider-Woman finished his sentence as she unmasked herself, revealing Gwen
— his Gwen — under the mask. “Peter?”

Peter took a deep breath. He couldn’t believe his eyes. Gwen was the Spider-Woman in this
universe? What the — He was quick to pull his mask as well, his eyes widened, tears pricking at
them as he looked at her. “G — Gwen.”

“Peter,” she choked the words and before he could stop her, she was hugging him, her hands
tightening around his body as tears streamed down her face. “I can’t — I can’t believe it’s you. I —
Oh, God.”
Peter wanted to ask questions, to know what the hell had happened in this universe. He wanted to
know everything and he was so confused but now, Gwen was in his arms and she was crying and
he was crying and who would he be if he didn’t instantly melt into Gwen Stacy’s arms? So he
hugged her back, smelling in her scent, feeling his heart aching and breaking and healing all at the
same time. “Gwen,” he muttered her name, his voice muffled because of the knot in his throat.
“Jesus, Gwen.” They held each other for what felt like months and yet when they pulled back,
Peter thought it wasn’t enough. He wanted to hold her, hug her, feel her heartbeat.

She looked almost the same age as Peter, give or take a few years, and her eyes had the same pain
Peter saw every day in the mirror. Something had happened in this universe and Peter was afraid he
already knew what it was. “I’m dead here, aren’t I?” The question escaped his lips almost
subconsciously as Gwen’s eyes filled with tears again, her hand wiping her face. “Oh, God.”

“Then, I suppose, I’m gone in your universe?” Gwen asked after a few seconds, taking a shaky
breath. Peter couldn’t resist anymore, he burst into tears.

———

I couldn’t turn things around

Cause you never gave a warning sign
So many signs…

He wasn’t sure how long they stayed on that rooftop, taking turns crying and muttering each
other’s names and meaningless apologies, none of them telling the story they were really looking
for but before long, they were heading back to Gwen’s apartment. “So,” Peter took a deep breath as
Gwen shut the door behind them. “In this universe, you got bit by the spider in Oscorp, not me.”

“I was curious about this new project Dr. Connors was finishing,” Gwen explained. “I wanted to
see the results so I went into the room where they kept the spiders. I got unlucky, I suppose. One of
them bit me and ever since, I’ve been the one and only Spider-Woman. Of course, before tonight.
Turns out, my… Peter got the spider in another universe, though?”

“Yeah, almost the same story,” Peter shrugged. “So how do you like the Superhero lifestyle?”

“Exceptionally lonely,” Gwen shrugged. “It was, um, it was better when you — you in my universe
— were with… with me. But, um, after that, I just — I figured —”

“— being alone was the best way to go?” Peter completed her sentence, both of their eyes foggy
with understanding and pain. “How did it happen, here?”

“I — I couldn’t save you,” Gwen said, her voice cracking as she pressed her palms to her eyes. “I
couldn’t — you were in the middle of the fight and I told you to go but you wouldn’t — without
me and so… they… hurt you and I couldn’t —”

“Shh,” Peter shushed her as he hugged her, pressing her head to his chest, trying to fight the tears.
“It’s okay.”

“I’m sorry,” she choked. “I’m so sorry. I’m —”

 “It’s okay,” Peter murmured. “It’s okay, Gwen. It’s okay.” When she calmed down, they pulled
away, both of them sitting on the couch, clinging to each other. “Cool costume,” he said, playing
with the fabric of her suit. “It’s different from the other spider costumes.”

“There are other spider people?”

“I’ve seen the other two,” Peter shrugged. “Both of them were Peter Parkers, both of their
costumes had red and blue. No one of them was black red with webs on them. Yours is so different
from ours. But, point in case, one of them didn’t have web-shooters — he had web-blood or
something.” Gwen let out a soft chuckle.

“That’s cool,” Gwen smiled.

“Yeah,” Peter agreed.

“Well… what happened to me in… your universe?” Gwen asked, her cheeks flushed, looking like
she couldn’t believe that this wasn’t a fever dream.

“You… I couldn’t save you,” Peter forced the words out. “I just — you fell and I tried to catch
you… I really did but… I was too late and…” Peter’s throat was clogged, he couldn’t breathe and
his heart — God, he swore his heart was so close to bursting open. “I just —”

Gwen didn’t say another word, just hugged him, holding him tight as Peter’s tears streamed down
his face. They sat there for the rest of the night, saying nothing and yet a world of words was in
between them.

Apologies and pain only they knew about.

And for the first time in seven years, Peter didn’t feel utterly alone.

Chapter End Notes

Liz Allan is Harry Osborn's wife from the comics, they met at Ned Leeds' wedding so
I figured it'd be a nice nod to that. Also, the Harry Osborn in this is from Raimi-Verse
cause tasm's Harry is DEAD TO ME, THAT MF!
Matt Murdock was Kingpin on Earth-65, not Daredevil, so Spider-Woman was the
heroine on that Earth.
The first part was a nod to Into The Spider-verse's death of Peter Parker before Miles
Morales took up being the Spider-Man.
The lyrics are from the song Exile by Taylor Swift because I'm sick and twisted and
very sad

Anyways, hope you liked it! Please leave comments and kudos if you did, I need
CONFIRMATION! The next part is the last <3
 All Too Well
Chapter Notes

I decided to bump up the rating from T to M just in case. Some heavy, not described,
referenced making out here. It's not described in detail but still, just to be safe I
updated it to Mature.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Cause there we are again,

On that little town street…
You almost ran the red cause
You were looking over at me

When he woke up, for a second, he thought it was 2013 all over again — Gwen in his arms, limbs
tangled, his heart beating faster because of her. It took him a couple of seconds before he
remembered last night, Gwen in another universe, their conversation… “Good morning,” Gwen
mumbled, scrunching up her nose and Peter had to fight his every instinct to not lean down and kiss
her until they were both out of breath and even after that.

“Morning,” Peter whispered, none of them pulling back from each other. It was nice, the way their
body radiated heat, not knowing if the warmth against their skin is from one or the other. Peter felt
at home — like after years and years of confusion and heartbreak, he had found something he had
lost. Gwen Stacy — the love of her life, the woman of her dreams — was in his arms and Peter
wanted to pretend like it was okay. Like they weren’t from two universes and everything wasn’t
upside down and like he didn’t have to make a decision to go back or stay. He wanted to pretend
like it was a normal Saturday with his girlfriend. “Wanna grab some breakfast?”

“Sure,” Gwen yawned. “I just need to take a shower and change out of my costume.” She smiled.
They both had fallen asleep in their Spidey costumes. Peter’s lips stretched in a smile as Gwen
looked at him, shaking her head. “Now that I’m looking at you, though, I’m pretty sure you need it
more than I do.”

“Really?” Peter cocked his head, trying to give her the most doe-eyed look he could. “But I am
starving.”

“Peter, you need to take a shower,” Gwen rolled her eyes and it almost felt like their old routine.
Like nothing had happened and they had been together for years. Like they hadn’t lost each other
and like… like everything was fine. Peter almost let himself be fooled, that’s why he smirked,
saying,

“Maybe we should do it at the same time — it’s less time-consuming,” he blurted it out before he
could stop himself, making Gwen blush feverishly as her eyes widened, her mouth hanging open in
a surprised smile. “I —” Peter choked, looking surprised himself. “I don’t know…”

“Okay,” Gwen breathed, looking flushed, serious and almost… horny. Jesus, Peter was not
thinking about this, was he? No. Of course, not. He wasn’t going to jump into the shower with his
girlfriend who he hadn’t seen in seven years because in his universe… she was…

“Okay,” he said before he could think of anything else.

———

They say all’s well that end’s well

But I’m in a new hell every time
You double-cross my mind…

Her lips. God, her lips were so soft and she smelled like cinnamon and chocolate and for the life of
him, Peter couldn’t think of anything but that. Because she was there, under his hands, touching
her, the beautiful curves of her body. He could forever worship the way her muscles flinched under
her touch as if she was excited and scared at the same time, the way her lips were half-open when
she looked at him, they way she breathed into the kiss, the way they were pushing and pulling and
dear God, he was so fucking in love with her.

Kissing her.

He could spend the rest of his life kissing her and he would’ve still lived a full life if he died right
now, kissing her, in her arms. Oh, dear, he would change the way Earth circled the sun, would dry
all the oceans and reach all of the stars if he could stay like this forever. He would climb every
mountain and rip his arm open and bleed if it meant he could keep her — keep this — and never let
go. He would spend the rest of eternity clinging onto her lips and nothing else and honest to God,
he would’ve been satisfied, happy, full…

His heart was full.

His heart felt like the sun, not quite up but in those last seconds before the dawn when you know
the sky is beautiful and light but not quite blinding, when you knew the sun was going to be up
soon and the day would start and yet you could lazily stay in your bed until it did and watch the
sky change from black to a golden blue. It felt like the first week of summer when it’s not too
warm to be frustrating but warm enough that you could do anything you wanted. It felt like that
split second after your parents left for a party and your babysitter hadn’t arrived yet and you could
pretend like you were a grown-up, having your life on track.

Kissing her felt like that split second before your lips crashed, knowing you had found everything
you ever wanted in that other person.

It was that moment when after a long day, you came to your house and realized that it had been so
long since you were back home . It was like finding a home in the middle of a hurricane and Peter
had been so cold and lost in the storm, so he melted in it.

He allowed her to absorb her as they lips moved against each other, making her heart beam and
glow. Her pulse was steady as Peter’s fingers carefully rested on her neck, their bodies clashing,
not knowing when one’s skin finished and the other’s started. Peter pressed her against the wall,
remembering the curve of her neck, her hips, the beautiful curl of her arms, her muscles clenching
and unclenching as she pushed into Peter and he didn’t want it to ever stop. He was willing to run
out of air, drown and get beaten if it meant he could bottle this moment and keep it forever.

It was a thirsty man reaching a glowy lake, it was a blind man seeing the rainbow, it was a fish
going back to the sea after being captive for so long.

And he loved her.

He couldn’t ever stop loving her and he couldn’t ever love anyone as much as he did her. Not even
himself.

And maybe that was love. The feeling of wanting to keep that person and yet being willing to let
go of them. And maybe, Peter was still a naive little kid who wanted to stay like that for just a few
more minutes.

So he kissed her.

He kissed her like there was no tomorrow.

———

And I know it’s long gone

And there was nothing else I could do
And I forget about you long enough
To forget why I needed to…

When they finally did manage to get breakfast, it was lunch-time so they went to a restaurant,
sitting across from each other, an uncomfortable silence between them as if after that morning, no
word could describe the way they were feeling. Peter, though, had a few words in his head; in love,
whole, scared, sad, confused, yearning, longing, unfocused. Gwen, too, seemed like she was going
through the dictionary in her head. Peter just couldn’t tell which words she was aiming for. “What
can I get you today?” the waitress’ voice interrupted his thoughts as his head jerked up,

“A cheeseburger, please,” Peter smiled.

“I’ll have the same thing,” Gwen nodded, sounding like she hadn’t even heard the order Peter put
in as she looked up at Peter’s amused face. “What?”

“Nothing,” Peter chuckled, shrugging. “Just — didn’t take you for a big cheeseburger person.”

“Wait, that’s what you ordered?” she rolled her eyes. “Man, I knew I shouldn’t have followed your
lead.” Peter chuckled, shrugging as Gwen looked at him with a shy, brilliant look on her face. Peter
could feel himself coming undone. “Look, Peter, we need to talk about this whole —”

“Let’s go to Coney Island,” Peter interrupted. No. He had another eleven hours before midnight
and he wasn’t going to talk about anything before first enjoying the time he had with Gwen. “Have
you gone to Coney Island with me in this universe? Because I never went with you and I want to —
I want to go.”

“I haven’t, actually,” Gwen said, the look of understanding on her face making it clear that she
knew what Peter was thinking about. “Yeah, okay, let’s go.”

“Lunch on the roof?” Peter grinned, standing up. “Sir, we are going to have to take those
cheeseburgers to go!”

Forty minutes later, they were sitting on the rooftop, their feet dangling off the building, eating
cheeseburgers while Gwen made notes about Peter’s fucked up eating habits while taking big bites
of her own cheeseburger. “Well what is so good about eating healthy , Miss I Want To Live In A
Chocolate House?” Peter teased, making Gwen giggle as she hit his arm playfully. “Seriously,
what did you say after that? Well, it’s impractical and fattening . That did not stop you from eating
chocolate, did it?”

“Chocolate is precious ,” Gwen argued. “What is so good about a cheeseburger?”

“Aside from everything ?” Peter threw his arms up. “They are delicious !”

“And they cause global warming!”

“I’m out there kicking bad guys’ ass! It looks to me like the Earth can take one for the team!” Peter
argued, making Gwen roll her eyes as he swallowed the last bit of his cheeseburger. “Look, if you
don’t want the rest of that burger, I will be glad to take one for the team.”

“I would give it to you, but I am starving ,” Gwen said, taking another bite of the burger, smiling,
“And granted, it is delicious.” Peter nodded, cocking his head with a big smile on his face as Gwen
leaned into him. “So what should we do? Ride the ferris wheel? I would say roller coaster but I’m
scared of that.”

“You swing from buildings,” Peter laughed, “how can you be scared of roller coasters?”

“Well, I can’t very well swing from a roller coaster in front of people without my costume,” Gwen
rolled her eyes. “Honestly, being anonymous in the modern world is so much harder. Seven years
ago it was so much easier, I’m telling you.”

“True,” Peter nodded, thinking about Peter 1. Poor boy had the whole media breathing down his
neck because of a made-up, fabricated video. He was about to suggest they go ride the same old
ferris wheel but as if a bulb was going on in his head, he exclaimed, “We could go ride everything
with our costumes on, though.” Gwen looked like she thought he was crazy — Peter thought it was
brilliant . “Look, are you people’s favorite in your universe?”

“Most like me,” Gwen shrugged. “Why?”

“No reason — this universe I was recently at really terrorized a younger version of us so I was just
wondering,” Peter shrugged. “Look, people like you — we could have a lot of fun in our costumes,
no? Swinging from vehicles and stuff.”

“You are crazy.”

“That’s why you loved me,” Peter shrugged, not noticing the words leaving his mouth.

“It is why I love you,” Gwen said and Peter couldn’t help it, he just leaned and captured her lips
because it had been seven years since he had heard those words, and he had yearned for them
every second of every day. So he kissed her, allowing their lips to play against each other, his arm
wrapped around her neck, his body willing to give it all.

He deepened it, breathing her in and out as his heart beat against his chest feverishly, threatening to
jump out of his chest every second. This was the life — warmth, happiness, that fuzzy feeling that
you have on Christmas Eve all year long… love, really.

He didn’t want to go back.

———

Till we were dead and gone and buried,

Check the pulse and come back swearing
It’s the same — after
three months in the grave

It was nearly eleven when Gwen stopped smiling. They had spent the whole day in Coney Island,
eventually sitting on a rooftop, their masks off, letting the autumn breath send shivers up their
spine as they leaned on each other. “Peter,” she whispered his name and it was the most delicious
thing he had ever heard.

“Hmm,” he hummed, feeling sleepy as the warmth of Gwen’s body warmed up him.

“We can’t keep ignoring the fact that we need to talk forever,” Gwen said, making Peter’s head go
dizzy as he thought about it, his breath hitching in his chest. “We need to address the elephant in
the room.”

“The only things in this room are two spiders,” Peter said, attempting to make a joke that fell flat as
Gwen leaned away from him, her blue eyes serious as she pushed her hair back, taking a deep
breath. “Gwen…”

“You know you can’t stay, right?” she said and her tone made it look like she was on the verge of
crying. She wasn’t crying, though — strong, sensible, brave Gwen wasn’t crying. Peter might,
though. Peter — tired, scared and helpless Peter who had been searching for so long — might cry
because he was weak and irresponsible and goddamn it, he didn’t want to let go. He didn’t.

“Can’t I?”

“Peter —”

“Why can’t I?” Peter interrupted, tears pricking in his eyes as his voice grew hoarse. “What is
going to stop me? The world is a mess and there’s no one back home waiting for me and I like it
here — shit, Gwen, I love it with you. ”

“Peter —”

“People are happy in other universes, Gwen,” he said, not allowing her to talk as her eyes filled
with tears. He felt a stubborn drop escaping the corner of his eyes as he took a deep breath. “I saw
us in other universes. In some of them, we were happy. Gwen I can make you happy . I want to be
happy! I saw someone — another Peter Parker — and he told me not to give up. That I could find
love. But you are it for me, Gwen. and I — Gwen, I can’t live without you .”

“Peter…” her voice was soft and a sad smile was splashed on her face. Peter couldn’t hear the
words that were going to come out of his mouth. It would kill him. It would kill him to hear that
she wanted him to go. Oh, fucking hell — he couldn’t .

“No —”

“Peter, listen to me ,” Gwen interrupted him with a loving, steady voice. “You need to listen to
me.” She inched closer to him, her hands resting on top of his, smiling sadly as she looked into his
eyes. He was desperately searching for a sign — the tiniest indication that she wanted him to stay.
There was none. “We have a responsibility. You told me that, Peter — ‘With Great Power comes
Great Responsibility.’ — you told me your dad said that to you and you told me that I was going to
make a damn good Spider-Woman because I cared; because I took responsibility. Peter, I love you
— I do. God, you don’t even know how much. And this past day… you have no idea what a
blessing this past day was; seeing you again, not feeling like my heart was broken every second of
every day… but it can’t stay like this forever. There are people here who need me and there are
people in your universe that need you . And you have a responsibility —”

“— Gwen —”

“— Listen to me,” she didn’t allow him to talk as her voice grew thick with unshed tears, her lips
trembling. “You don’t think I want to hold onto you and never let you go? I do . But I can’t.
Because we got bitten by that freaking Spider and our entire worlds changed, Peter. We weren’t
normal teenagers — we saved lives . And as much as I want to keep you, I can’t because Peter
Parker, you are no ordinary man. And I love you for that but I can’t…” Her voice drifted away as
she took a deep breath. “Seven years ago, I lost you. And I am grateful that you came for me and
that I got to spend another day with you… see what would happen if… but… it was awesome for
the day. I can’t — let it go on.”

Her eyes were shining under the moonlight. Peter couldn’t find it in himself to say anything,
worried that if he opened his mouth, he’d beg her to let him stay — he’d cry and he’d tell her that
he never wanted to let her go ever again.

But she was right.

Deep down, he knew that she was right — his Gwen wouldn’t want that — and it broke his heart.
“Gwen, I love you.”

“I know,” she whispered. “I love you, too. But you are gone and I am gone, too…”

“Don’t say that…”

“But it’s the truth,” she smiled, rubbing his hand affectionately. “I’m forever grateful that you
came to find me, Peter. I’m forever grateful that you gave me this awesome day with bad food and
worse entertainment but amazing sex,” — this made them both chuckle wetly — “But it can’t go
on forever. No matter how much we want it to. I love you and I will never stop loving you… I will
never forget you… and I forgive you. I’m sure in every universe, I’d forgive you. Because Peter
Parker, you are a good man and you deserve to be happy…”

“I’m sorry, Gwen,” he whispered, tears running down his face. “I’m sorry that I couldn’t…”

“I’m sorry, too,” she said, hugging him tightly as they held onto each other. “Please, forgive me.”

“I forgive you,” Peter whispered. They were both prisoners of their pasts, their actions, their
heartbreaking stories. But no more — because Gwen was right. They weren’t ordinary people.
They were protectors of New York City and in some universe, when they were only them, they had
met and fallen in love and started a family. That had to be good enough. It was good enough. “You
know, I think in every universe, I would fall for you.”

“I think so, too,” Gwen said, a chuckle leaving her throat as her alarm went off, pulling her back.
“Peter it’s near midnight.”

“You know, it feels like a Cinderella situation,” he said as they both stood up. “I think I ought to go
and find my fairy godmother to take me back.”

“Goodbye, Peter,” she said.

“Goodbye, Gwen,” he replied and for the first time since her funeral, he meant it.

———

Time won’t fly,

It’s like I’m paralyzed by it
I’d like to be my old self again
But I’m still trying to find it

He wasn’t sure how long he sat on the bench, finding himself on the verge of going back to
Gwen’s apartment and kissing her one more time, holding her one more time, breathing the same
air as her one more time. It wasn’t long, he supposed, until Loki showed up. But it was long
enough. He imagined hundreds of different ways to do that, he imagined how it’d feel like not to
go back, he imagined living with her and never letting go.

Eventually, though, he heard her words once again loud and clear.

We aren’t the same people, Gwen had said, no matter how much we think we are, we lost a part of
ourselves when we lost them — us — and we’ll never be able to get that back. What we can do,
though, is to enjoy this moment and all the moments that have passed and give all os us to
protecting the people who need us. They died because of that, didn’t they? To help us achieve that
goal.

She was right.

Gwen was always right.

When Loki came back, Peter knew what he was going to do. Maybe that was why he didn’t flinch
when Loki looked him up and down and cocked his head.

“Still didn’t find her?” was the first thing Loki asked Peter.

“I did,” was what Peter said. “Just couldn’t stay. I don’t belong here.” Loki nodded, his eyes
glistening with a familiar look as if he could understand what Peter meant. As if he had left part of
himself back somewhere as well and knew that he could never get it back. Peter didn’t know, so he
only nodded.

Loki didn’t say another word; Peter didn’t elaborate or ask for his story. He went home. He went
 home and he stayed there and he cried the whole night only to wake up the next day, putting on his
mask again.

Because she was right.

With great power did come great responsibility and he had been Spider-Man for long enough to
know that.

So, he went back. To his home. The streets of New York, swinging as the air around him hugged
him like an old friend. For the first time, feeling slightly lighter.

He was never going to forgive himself for not being able to save his Gwen. He was never going to
stop feeling guilty for that… But for the first time, he knew deep down that Gwen had forgiven
him. That he wasn’t some hybrid gone wrong. That maybe, for a split second, even though he
would never be able to stop feeling guilty, he believed that he wasn’t utterly at fault…

He had found his home — it was Gwen Stacy; always her. The fact that she wasn’t with him didn’t
make it any less true. In every universe, she was his home.

And he needed to go back home. Where he was Spider-Man.

Because with great power came great responsibility.

Chapter End Notes

And it's done! Please go easy on me, it was my first time writing anything Peter Parker
and I'm sorry if I didn't capture them accurately. I did try my best and I really really
hope you liked them! Also, English isn't my first language, so please go easy on me if
you found any mistakes be it grammatical or vocabulary. I really loved writing this and
honestly, it was a form of therapy for me. Even though, I did want to end it with Peter
staying back with Gwen, I didn't think Peter Parker would do that or Gwen would
allow that.

Anyways, long story short, hope you liked it? Please leave kudos and comments if you
did <3
 Inspirations
Chapter Notes

So, I took inspiration for some of the material used in this from Spider-Man comics
and other related media and I kid you not, I love sharing comics bits and stuff even
though I've only recently gotten into the comics, so here you go. The follow chapter
includes pics, references, comic scraps of the things that inspired me! Sending tons of
love your way and salute XD

The first set of pictures is where I first got the idea of eventually ending it on Spider-
Woman/Spider-Man
 ———

So this is the thing that inspired that rooftop conversation Gwen and Peter had before
Peter left.
 ———

okay and there are just these set of pictures that make me feel things — like sadness.
And depression </3
 ———

And eventually, Matt Murdock as Kingpin <3

Please drop by the archive and comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!