THE

SUBTLE
ART OF
NOT
GIVING
A F CK
JOURNAL
MARK MANSON
THE SUBTLE ART OF NOT GIVING A F*CK JOURNAL.
Copyright © 2022 by Mark Manson.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any
manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief
quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. For information,
address HarperCollins Publishers, 195 Broadway, New York, NY 10007.
HarperCollins books may be purchased for educational, business,
or sales promotional use. For information, please email the Special Markets
Department at SPsales@harpercollins.com.
First published in 2022 by
Harper Design
An Imprint of HarperCollins Publishers
195 Broadway
New York, NY 10007
Tel: (212) 207-7000
Fax: (855) 746-3023
harperdesign@harpercollins.com
www.hc.com
Distributed throughout the world by
HarperCollins Publishers
195 Broadway
New York, NY 10007
ISBN 978-0-06-322825-2
ISBN 978-0-06-324396-5 (merch edition)
Design by Paul Kepple and Alex Bruce at Headcase Design
based on the original by M-80 Design.
Printed in the United States of America
First Printing, 2022
THIS
JOURNAL
IS THE
PROPERTY OF

CONTACT

(If found, please give a fuck and do the right thing!)

3
PART I:

THE
WARM-UP
SHUT UP AND
BE GRATEFUL

INSTRUCTIONS:
Use this list to write down the many things for which you’re
grateful. It can be abstract (“I’m grateful for being alive in the
twenty-first century.”) or specific (“I’m grateful that gas station
I stopped at had my favorite energy drink.”).

Basically, go gratitude-crazy here. Try to fill these pages up.

YOUR TURN:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

5
8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.

21.

6
22.

23.

24.

25.

26.

27.

28.

29.

30.

31.

32.

33.

34.

35.

7
36.

37.

38.

39.

40.

41.

42.

43.

44.

45.

46.

47.

48.

49.

8
50.

51.

52.

53.

54.

55.

56.

57.

58.

59.

60.

61.

62.

63.

9
64.

65.

66.

67.

68.

69.

70.

71.

72.

73.

74.

75.

76.

77.

10
78.

79.

80.

81.

82.

83.

84.

11
YOUR FUCK-IT LIST
Okay, now that we’ve spewed out all of the things we’re
grateful for in our lives, let’s consider the other side of the
coin. Much of “not giving a fuck” is correctly identifying the
people and things in your life that are not adding value or
helping you as a person . . . and then letting go of them.

Old people create “bucket lists” of things they want to do before

they die. We’re going to create a “fuck-it list,” or things we want to
stop giving a fuck about before we die.

Much of this journal will be showing you how to stop giving a fuck
about them, but for now, let’s just get a nice brainstorm out of all
of the dumb bullshit holding us back in our lives.

Again, this can be as abstract (“fear of failure”) or specific (“when

my brother makes fun of my hair”) as you want. Whatever it is you
want to stop caring about, write it down.

YOUR TURN:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

12
6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

13
20.

21.

22.

23.

24.

25.

26.

27.

28.

29.

30.

31.

32.

33.

34.

14
35.

36.

37.

38.

39.

40.

41.

42.

43.

44.

45.

46.

47.

48.

49.

15
50.

51.

52.

53.

54.

55.

56.

57.

58.

59.

60.

61.

62.

63.

64.

16
65.

66.

67.

68.

69.

70.

17
PART II:

MANAGING
NEGATIVE
EMOTIONS
How Are You Feeling?
What emotion are you currently struggling with? 
What happened? Describe the situation and how you’ve
reacted to it.

YOUR TURN:

19
20
How did you react to the emotion? Did you express it? If so,
how? If not, why not?

YOUR TURN:

21
Often our problem is not the emotion itself, but rather how
we respond to the emotion. Sometimes we judge the emotion
and try to bury it because we don’t see it as acceptable.

What about you? Have you been judging the emotion in an

unhelpful way? If so, how?

Overall, do you think you’ve responded to the emotion in a healthy

way or unhealthy way?

YOUR TURN:

22
23
Cognitive Distortions
Cognitive distortions are a set of automatic thought patterns
that are inaccurate and reinforce our emotions. These auto-
matic negative thoughts “distort” our thinking by leading us
to believe something that is both unhelpful and likely untrue.

Psychiatrist and researcher Aaron Beck is credited with first

proposing the theory behind cognitive distortions in the
1970s; his student David Burns is credited with popularizing
the common names of these distortions in the 1980s.

Have a look at these twelve cognitive distortions and see if

you can recognize any of the thought patterns as you deal
with your current emotional situation.

YOUR TURN:

All-or-Nothing Fortune-Telling Minimizing the

Thinking Positive

Blaming Others Labeling Overgeneralization

Catastrophizing Magnifying the Self-Blaming

Negative

Emotional Mind Reading “Should”

Reasoning Statements

24
Now, let’s try to describe your situation again, this time
without succumbing to cognitive distortions.

YOUR TURN:

25
Emotions are neutral. Each emotion can be both healthy or
unhealthy depending on our reactions to that emotion.

Unhealthy reactions are dishonest, ambiguous, destructive, pointless,

or violent.

Healthy reactions are honest, transparent, constructive, educational,

and growth-oriented.

Now, returning to your situation again, what are the healthy and
unhealthy forms of the emotion in your situation?

YOUR TURN:

26
27
If reactions to emotions are more important than the emo-
tions themselves, then we must judge people (and our-
selves) by actions, not emotions.

As a final exercise, I want you to return to your situation one last

time, this time asking yourself, “What is a healthy reaction to this
upsetting situation?” What is a reaction that minimizes cognitive
distortions; that produces better, healthier outcomes for everyone
involved; and that promotes transparency and honesty?

YOUR TURN:

28
PART III:

BETTER
PROBLEMS
What’s Your Problem?
Think about a problem you’re struggling with in your life.
Describe the situation.

YOUR TURN:

30
What’s Your Problem?
The first step to addressing any problem is to determine
what aspects of the problem we can control and what
aspects we can’t control. So much of the time, we get
worked up and try to change things that are outside of our
control. Similarly, we complain and deflect responsibility 
for the things we can control. Until we can straighten these
two categories out, we won’t get anywhere.

WHAT YOU CAN NEVER CHANGE:

• The past
• The world
• Other people

WHAT YOU CAN ALWAYS CHANGE:

• Your attitude
• Your assumptions
• Your behavior

Write down the aspects of your problem that are out of your control
and the aspects of your problem that are within your control.

YOUR TURN:

33
34
The vast majority of problems don’t just occur out of
nowhere. We have made various choices that have led to 
the problem, so we are partially responsible for the problem.
This sense of responsibility is actually empowering because
it enables us to change our choices in the future. Now, let’s
look at the choices you’ve made in the past that have led 
to your problem.

YOUR TURN:

35
36
Are you satisfied with those choices? Would you go back
and change them? Keep in mind that no is always an accept-
able answer here—if that’s the case, then this is the problem
you chose!

YOUR TURN:

37
Now that you’ve decided what choices you’d like to change,
it’s time to come up with a list of potential actions that will
enact those new choices.

YOUR TURN:

38
Great! Obviously, go do this stuff. But, let’s prevent ourselves
from having to deal with this mess again. Ask yourself, what
are the potential problems that will arise from these new
choices? Are these better problems? If not, then you might
want to go back a couple steps and re-evaluate your deci-
sions again!

YOUR TURN:

39
PART IV:

GIVING
FEWER FUCKS
Let’s Get Started . . .
Before you use this section to work through an issue you’re
having, I’d like you to list your highest values so it’s always
here for you to come back to when you are completing a set
of questions. Personal values should be used as measuring
sticks by which we determine what is a successful and 
meaningful life. So the point is to nail down some good
ones. By articulating your values upfront, you’ll be in a 
better position to identify patterns of behavior that are 
contradicting the awesome person you’re trying to uncover.

YOUR TURN:

41
42
Conflicting Values
Generally, the most difficult moments in our lives occur
when we have two conflicting values. We want to excel at
work, but we also want to be home for our kids. We want to
spend more time with our friends, but we also don’t want 
to abandon our partner. We don’t want to pay our taxes, 
but we also don’t want to go to jail for tax evasion. Life is
full of these sorts of dilemmas.

When these conflicts happen between two healthy values (i.e.,

focusing more at work and spending more time with the kids),
then it becomes a question of priorities and time management.

But often a good value is conflicting with a bad value (i.e., taking
care of your health versus going on another all-night bender with
your friends). It’s these situations that we must look at closely,
identify the unhealthy values and what’s underpinning them, and
then try to alter how much we give a fuck about them.

So, what disruption or conflict are you experiencing in your life

that has led you to question your values right now? Describe the
situation.

YOUR TURN:

43
44
How have your actions reflected your personal values? It’s
easy to say we value something, but if we’re never actually
doing it, then how much do we really value it?

YOUR TURN:

45
If you are struggling to match your actions against your 
values, what are you prioritizing instead? What do your
actions actually say? What are you really valuing?

YOUR TURN:

46
What influences or actions can you remove from your life to
allow you to better live out your values?

YOUR TURN:

47
Remember, regardless of what you think or feel or wish to
be true, true values are reflected in your choices and actions

Now, look back on your answers and be truthful with yourself. Are
these values serving you? Or do you need to look at adopting
better values? Reflect here and go back to the beginning of the
section to add and/or subtract values if you need to.

48
To replace your old, faulty values with new, healthy values, you
need to understand the narratives around your experiences.

Choosing better values is about liberating ourselves from unhealthy

ideas and inviting the right kinds of insecurities into our lives.

For example, if you’re ashamed of wearing the wrong shoes

around your coworkers, then that signals that your values are
faulty—that you’re more concerned with appearances and the
approval of those around you rather than respecting yourself
and your own tastes.

Describe a situation where you think replacing a faulty value with

a healthier value might have improved your experience.

49
50
INTERLUDE:

KNOWING
VS DOING
While your values determine your behavior—new behavior
determines new values. It’s not enough to simply sit here
and think about what you wish to value. As my friend Derek
Sivers says, “If change was as simple as knowing information, 
then we’d all be millionaires with six-pack abs.”

Take a moment and ask yourself, what are the things in your life
that you want to do and know how to do, yet you still don’t do
them?

As this list proves, simply valuing something is not enough to

make you do it.

Values mean nothing without action. Therefore, the final part of

this journal will guide you through setting yourself up for new
actions and behaviors.
PART V:

FIND
GREATER
PURPOSE
Brainstorming
The first step is the easiest and probably the most fun. You’ll
take twenty minutes to yourself, and write down everything
you would like to do in your life before you die. Everything.
No matter how big or small, how trivial or important.

54
55
56
Ideal Life (Long-Term)
Now that you’ve done your brainstorming and come up with
more ideas than you’ll ever need, it’s time to start homing in
on what you want your life to look like. Keep in mind, any-
thing is possible with this exercise. We’re still fantasizing
here. It doesn’t matter how possible you feel this life is or
isn’t, write it down.

EXERCISE
Describe your ideal life five years from now. Describe it in as much
detail as possible. Describe where you would live, what you would
do each day, what job you’d have, who you’d spend your time
with, and what you’d spend your time doing. Take your time. This
should take you about twenty minutes.

57
59
60
Ideal Life (Short-Term)
This exercise is exactly like the last one, except instead
of projecting your ideal life in five years, you are going to
project it for one year. This time, make sure your choices are
realistic and attainable, but also that they are a step toward
your last answer.

EXERCISE
Describe your ideal life one year from now. Describe it in as much
detail as possible. Describe where you would live, what you would
do each day, what job you’d have, who you’d spend your time
with, and what you’d spend your time doing. Take your time. This
should take you about twenty minutes.

61
62
63
64
Giving the Proper Fucks
Now it’s time to really dig into your current life. It’s time to
look closely at what you’re spending your time doing and
then root out the activities that aren’t serving you or moving
you toward your ideal life.

This exercise is a three-parter. First, write down everything you

spend your time doing each day. Ignore the small things like
brushing your teeth, showering, or sleeping. Focus on the biggies.

Once you can’t think of anything else, move to the second column
and write down how many hours per week you generally spend
doing this activity. If it’s something larger like traveling or seasonal
like going to White Sox games or something, then just specify that
in this column—“two weeks per year,” or “ten Saturdays per year,”
or whatever.

Finally, in the last column, give each item a rating from 1 to 10. This
should be based on how much fulfillment you get from that activ-
ity. Basically, you are rating how happy that activity makes you.

EXERCISE

Activity Time Spent Value

65
Activity Time Spent Value

66
Activity Time Spent Value

67
Activity Time Spent Value

68
 Activity Time Spent Value

Once you’ve finished your lists, go back through and look at

how the numbers line up. Activities that you spend a lot of
time doing should have high numbers. Activities you don’t
spend much time doing should have low numbers. We’re
looking for mismatches.

69
How to Create a Habit
Habits form when you engage in a behavior repeatedly
in the presence of consistent stimuli. That last part is 
important. Habits are “automatic” responses to familiar
environmental cues. You save mental energy by developing
habitual responses to familiar cues, situations, and even 
people who you encounter on a regular basis.

EXERCISE
Think of a new behavior you’d like to make a habit. Then think of a
cue for that behavior and a way to reward yourself after perform-
ing the behavior. If the behavior itself is already rewarding for you,
then the reward isn’t necessary.

Make sure you specify a cue, a behavior, and a reward.

YOUR NEW HABIT #1

DATE IT BECAME A HABIT

70
YOUR NEW HABIT #2

DATE IT BECAME A HABIT

YOUR NEW HABIT #3

DATE IT BECAME A HABIT

71
YOUR NEW HABIT #4

DATE IT BECAME A HABIT

YOUR NEW HABIT #5

DATE IT BECAME A HABIT

72
YOUR NEW HABIT #6

DATE IT BECAME A HABIT

YOUR NEW HABIT #7

DATE IT BECAME A HABIT

73
YOUR NEW HABIT #8

DATE IT BECAME A HABIT

YOUR NEW HABIT #9

DATE IT BECAME A HABIT

74
YOUR NEW HABIT #10

DATE IT BECAME A HABIT

75
Your Action Plan
From the previous steps in this section, you should have
developed a pretty clear idea of what you need to be doing
differently, both in the short-term and in the long-term.
You’ve likely been made aware of things that you’d like to
have in your life that you currently don’t. And maybe you’ve
identified some things that you have in your life, but you’d
prefer you didn’t.

EXERCISE: CREATE YOUR ACTION PLANS

Fill out an action plan below for each of your goals. If you
run out of action plans, you can create new ones in the notes
section at the back. You can create multiple plans for each
goal (stick to about three to five for now).

ACTION PLAN #1

Long-term goal

1-year goal

1-month goal

76
 1-week goal

Daily habit/
action

ACTION PLAN #2

Long-term goal

1-year goal

1-month goal

77
 1-week goal

Daily habit/
action

ACTION PLAN #3

Long-term goal

1-year goal

78
 1-month goal

1-week goal

Daily habit/
action

ACTION PLAN #4

Long-term goal

79
 1-year goal

1-month goal

1-week goal

Daily habit/
action

80
ACTION PLAN #5

Long-term goal

1-year goal

1-month goal

1-week goal

Daily habit/
action

81
ACTION PLAN #6

Long-term goal

1-year goal

1-month goal

1-week goal

Daily habit/
action

82
ACTION PLAN #7

Long-term goal

1-year goal

1-month goal

1-week goal

Daily habit/
action

83
ACTION PLAN #8

Long-term goal

1-year goal

1-month goal

1-week goal

Daily habit/
action

84
ACTION PLAN #9

Long-term goal

1-year goal

1-month goal

1-week goal

Daily habit/
action

85
ACTION PLAN #10

Long-term goal

1-year goal

1-month goal

1-week goal

Daily habit/
action

86
A FEW PAGES OF
SPACE TO WRITE
DOWN VARIOUS
PERSONAL
REALIZATIONS

87
88
89
90
91
92
93
94
95
96
97
98
99
100