Writing Exercise 4 - Avoid Legalese

Original
1. In addition, your petition to declare defendant in
default was approved by the trial court. However,
it was later lifted as it was proven that he was not
properly served notice regarding the above-
mentioned petition 
Revised
Additionally, your petition stating that the defendant
is in default is approved by the trial court. However, it
was later lifted because it was proven that he was not
given notice about the said petition.

2. However, Mr. Delgado filed an answer stating that However, Mr. Delgado filed an answer stating that he
he is not responsible for the said support and that is not responsible for the said support because he is
he is not capable of providing it the same. not financially capable to provide.

3. If after filing a motion of reconsideration the If the motion of reconsideration is affirmed, we may
decision is affirmed, we may raise the petition to file for petition to the Supreme Court.
the Supreme cCourt on certiorari, or review. Last
sentence may still be simplified to avoid legalese.

4. Our appeal for modification of decision for grant Since we submitted the appeal for legitimacy and
of support in our Petition for Legitimacy and support to the Court of Appeals in time, we are
Support was submitted to the Court of Appeals allowed a hearing. We will be submitting our changes
within the regelamentary period and was honored regarding the amount of support that the defendant
for hearing. We will be stating the necessity of the needs to provide to the Regional Trial Court. We will
modification of the ruling of the Regional Trial brief you for all the needed processes so that you may
Court as to the amount of support that needs to be be able to prepare according to the schedule.
provided by the father of your daughters basing
from circumstances we highlighted in our
arguments. We will brief you for the judicial
processes involved so you can prepare
accordingly and so that we can manage
expectations as to the time table involved.