I type 'yes' to her when she messaged me asking if our house is available for tonight's coffee date.

It is
a notification I always expect to get whenever night comes. It's 7 in the night when I heared their loud
laughs and voices. It got me excited, of course, since this night is a great escape from reality - - stress,
sadness, and everything. I went to my room, and there, my cologne was waiting for me, ready to jump
on my oversized shirt. I welcomed them with a smile and excitement on my face, but they just
laughed at me, so I rolled my eyes at them. They passed me by, and went to the sala. They already
knew the udrill. Friends, yes. I went to the kitchen and started heating the kettle. "Wilbert, Aris, Cjay,
Cat, Jolyn, Messy, " while counting the cups. Someone must be absent. "I wear cologne for nothing," I
murmured.

I heard the door opened, and knew who that was. I restrain myself from smiling because his scent was
just kicking hardly. I didn't say a word. This man does nothing yet makes me smile. So, he gets the
kettle which was screaming for like minutes and I didn't notice it. He puts it in the cups that has coffee
and I started to stir it.

So, I was about carry the big plate which full of cups of coffee, but he did it first. My smile? It was
really hard to stop it. So, I just turned around and went to the sala where the happy aura comes from.
They stopped talking and looked at me. Maybe they noticed how I control my smile.

We drank our coffee, and talk about random things like we always do. We said goodbye to one
another because it's already 11:30. When I said that word, I was eyeing him, with a smile in my face.
This happens every time they go here.

One time, we decided to go outside. It's been a while so we really chose the best fit. Aesthetic, they
say. We were about to go but I said wait because he was running, almost there. When I saw he was
secured, that's the time we go. My friends were just looking at me and I saw those big question marks
above their heads. But I didn't mind. So what if I was falling for this man. For this friend. I just smiled
at them. We shopped, went to play zone, eat, and went home. After that, coffee date again. Same
routine. Same smile.

Vacation season. Activities no more. Stress no more. I want to spend this vacation with my friends,
especially when he is with us. My friends and I were still in college and same school, so it was really a
relief when vacation hits us. We would go and eat lomi every other day. We would coffee date every
night. We would stay one of our house and do random things like painting or playing online games.
And our vacation was spent that way. Those routines. Those memories. Their laughs. Their stories. His
eyes. His nose. His lips. His smile. Oh. Am I smiling? Again?

Vacation's done. We have to attend school again but that's fine because it's done through face to
face. And that won't change the fact that I and my friends were still going to bond every night. But
there was this one time I wasn't able to join in the date because I just have a lot of activities to do. I
was shocked when I sensed his presence. I asked him y he was here, and he told me he missed me. I
guess the feelings are mutual or it was just normal to miss a friend. I looked down. I didn't know what
to feel. Was I fluttered? Overwhelmed? Anxious? Confused? Maybe I was. I wanted him to clear what
does that mean, because I didnt want to assume. So, I looked at his eyes. Shaking? Sort of. It was
really hard to make a question regarding that matter, but I didn't notice that I was actually stating the
question. He said that he is falling for me. We looked at each other. I could feel my eyes got widened.
I just appreciate him because he could have just confessed to me thru his phone, but nah. Maybe we
could now create our conversation online since he confessed?
Scratch that. I blinked a lot while erasing that thought. He pulled, and hugged me. This time, my
heart? Was my heart still okay? I mean, it beat so fast. And it got faster when he kissed my forehead.
Gentleman, ugh. That's what I like. We looked at each other again, and I think, this time, all of my
teeth were shown. I can't just hold my smile anymore. I am just so happy.

The next thing I know, it was already morning and the smile on my face was still there. I wanted to
remember every thing so I did. But a question mark popped on my head. Hmmm, how did things end?
I mean, how did he go home? How come I don't remember that. The last thing I remember was he
kissed my forehead. Did we talk after that? Ugh. Maybe. And maybe he went home straight after
saying goodbye.

What makes me smile more is the fact that my activities are done. That made me think, again. Oh,
they're done? How? Why can't I remember how I have done these. But, that day, I don't want to
stress myself because I am just too happy. I do not want to ruin the mood. The thing that matters is
him. And the done activities. What to do now? Of course, tell this amazing story to my friends. I called
them. They just let me tell it. The just listened. I didn't know if what was their reaction, but one thing
is for sure. They're happy. I know their hearts. They love to support me on the things that make me
happy.

I volunteered to provide the venue for tonight's coffee date with my friends. Now, I am certain that I
join in the dates not just to escape reality but to see him. He is just so handsome, and gentleman, and
lovely, I swear.

The aura when I welcomed them and the aura when they welcomed me was completely opposite.
Different. Mmm, cringe? This has to be the first time I don't hear laughs and loud voices. They just
smiled at me.

So I prepared now the same things we need quickly because my curiosity was just forcing me to do
the asking method.
I went to our sala. Still, that aura was keeping the sala quiet and cringe. It was, I think, the first time so
it somehow saddens me. I saw him, staring at me. Not smiling. Not frowning. Maybe he's nervous
because he maybe sensed that I'll be going to announce that I am inlove with this man in front of me,
my friend, who I think will be my boyfriend soon.

After taking the first sip, I courageously and gently ask them what is up. And regarding to their
reaction, I could say that they were expecting me to do that and they were somehow relieved?
Maybe because they were too shy to open the topic first. Was that too serious? Were these all my
assumptions? I just stop overthinking when one of my friends asked if I was okay. I smiled and
confidently said, "SUPER." They, then, hugged me. So I was startled. I asked what's wrong with them
as I released from the hug. There they were. Crying. Sobbing. My smile immediately disappeared.

"He doesn't exist, now." I looked at one of my friend when he said these words. I was like, "Huh?
Who?" "The man you are inlove with." "I don't know if I get offended because the man you are talking
about is right here beside me," I said while pointing him out. But, all I can see is myself. Wet eyes. In a
bed. With a blanket, covering half of my body. Facing right side, which the mirror was placed. I sat
down. My heart beat so fast. It aches. It hurts. My tears started to fall. I cried without sound while
tapping my chest so hard. Same dream. Same heartache. Nothing changed. My friends opened my
door and offered me breakfast with medicine beside it. Looking at me with pity in their eyes. Hugged
me like they always do. Every day. "Everything will be alright," they say. This has been our routine for
like two months.