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Desiree Perez

Dr. Cynthia Aradillas

ENGL 1301- 207

29 April 2023

An Online Advice Community

“Am I The Asshole?” For some, this is a very important question to ask. It is needed for

the sake of perspective and resolving conflict. Today, people across the world unite, and often

come together to ask and answer this question to and for each other. “How is this possible?” One

may ask. This is possible through the internet, and more specifically through a community that is

continually growing and rising in popularity, the subreddit community called “Am I The

Asshole?” Or AITA for short. A subreddit community is subsection of the website, reddit, that is

specifically dedicated to the AITA prompt. This community is growing so big and popular to

participate in that it has now traveled across multiple platforms, or genres. This genre can

provide its community and spectators with a safe space, a sense of community, a sense of value,

perspective, and entertainment within its means of communication. The community enjoys

communicating within the genre to ask for advice, give advice, and observe and interact with the

content.

The first way the AITA community utilizes the genre, is by using it to ask for advice.

This advice can be open-ended but is typically revolved around one question, whether or not they

were in the wrong in a conflict. The person who posted the advice will give background

information, talk about the situation and where the conflict happened, and then ask the question

of whether they were at fault. The value of this particular aspect of the genre, is that there is a
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sense of anonymity, or at the very least community, that provides a safe space. For example, I

observed one post from a man under the screenname “u/aita_dad_”, who was asking if he was at

fault in a conflict he had with his daughter. The situation was he had recently reconnected with,

and was becoming close with, a half-brother he did not know he had, his daughter was also really

enjoying getting to know her cousins. They were enjoying their newfound family members,

especially, because they were not close to the family they had. The situation arose when the

man’s daughter asked if he could feel out what their political views were for her because she is

gay. She was scared they would feel negatively about her if they found out she was gay, and was

worried about the negativity, but also that they could potentially become hostile. He at first had

told her she should do it herself as she was an adult, but later edited his post to say he had

realized his wrongs and had apologized to his daughter after receiving an overwhelming amount

of advice suggesting he may have been at fault. With the help of receiving advice from that

community, he was able to gain some perspective and benefit his life for the better. The

anonymity, or sense of community, provided by the genre, provides a safe space where people

can reach out for help. When people use that genre and that community to ask for advice, they

can trust they will receive the perspective and guidance they needed to resolve their conflicts and

better themselves or their situation.

The second way the AITA community utilizes the genre, is by using it to give advice. Not

everyone is brave enough to post their own personal issues they need help figuring out, or better

yet, maybe they are fortunate enough to not be in a conflict they need help resolving, but the

community would be nothing if not for its popular genre of people using the community to give

advice. This part has been explored in video, podcast, and commenting formats, but it has

become extremely popular as people seem to enjoy being able to give their perspectives on
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different situations. They either reprimand the person who posted if they believe the poster is at

fault or provide encouraging words if they believe the poster is not at fault. Above all, however,

they give advice. The value of this aspect of the genre to the community and its spectators, is that

it allows them a space to input their points of view and feel as though their opinion matters and

makes a difference. For example, a teenage girl posted a story asking whether she was the bad

guy in a situation where she was moving away from home because she was tired of how much

responsibility her parents put on her to watch her 3 very young siblings, cook, clean, and

maintain the household. The poor girl likely felt like the bad guy because of how her parents

made her feel about the situation, and what they said in response to her refusing to continue that

way, but the comments rushed in from people giving nothing but support. They understood why

this girl was questioning herself, they shared their similar experiences, they comforted and

reassured her, and gave her strategies for how to proceed so she could better her life. This

interaction, along with others like it, is an example of how the commenters’ interactions with the

post yielded positive results. In turn, the advice-givers felt that they had a valuable interaction, a

valuable opinion, and that they made a difference. The AITA community spectators enjoy using

the genre to give advice, it makes them feel like they have valuable opinions and like they are

helping someone.

The third way the AITA community utilizes the genre, is by using it as a means for

gaining perspective and entertainment. One less direct way people interact with this genre, is by

spectating. It is, actually, one of the most popular ways people interact and communicate with

this community. The aforementioned videos, podcasts, and comment sections contribute to the

AITA genre being active because of who creates them and their original perception of the advice

posts; but the posts, community, and genre thrive because of the communication existing in
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relation to those people commenting and giving advice. For example, I usually neither post nor

comment, but I know I, and others, enjoy reading the posts asking for advice, reading the

comments of people giving their opinions and stories, and simply reveling in all the unique

perspectives. People enjoy observing and interacting with these posts because they can observe

the many perspectives being given in relation to these testimonies and even add to the comments

to potentially engage in conversation and healthy debate about a variety of topics.

To conclude, the AITA community thrives because of the communication they have

within the genre that consists of people asking for advice, giving advice, and engaging. This

genre provides a safe space for people to get perspective on the conflicts they are encountering,

for people to leave their perspectives on different issues, and for the community as a whole to be

able to spectate and interact with a large variety of people having open discussions on a large

variety of topics. The value of this genre, and what it can offer its spectators, is the sense of

community it provides. The sense of community allows for a safe space for people to feel as

though they can communicate and engage in discourse about their issues. The community helps

people, provides perspective, and is used as a means of thoughtfulness and entertainment.

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Works Cited

U/aita_dad_. “AITA for Telling My Daughter That She Can’t Expect Me to Do the Hard Things

for Her Just Because She Doesn’t Want to Do Them?” Reddit, r/AmItheAsshole, 25 Jan.

2023,

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10l8whv/aita_for_telling_my_daugh

ter_that_she_cant_expect/ . Accessed 5 Feb. 2023.