Introduction

Whether communicating through speech or some other method, your communication style has a lot to
do with how much of what you "say" will truly be understood and accepted. It is very important to
understand your own communication style so that you can recognize both its strengths and
weaknesses. This also means that it is helpful to understand the communication styles of others. By
recognizing where your styles mesh and where they don't, you have the opportunity to be a much more
effective communicator.

What is Communication?

Communication is more than just the act of talking. For true communication to happen, ideas have to
be shared and understood among people. While talking is certainly one of the most obvious methods
we use to relate thoughts and ideas to one another, it is not the only form of communication we use
regularly. Have you ever had an entire conversation without even speaking a word? A glance here. A
head nod there. Maybe a couple of gestures. Without even opening your mouth, you can communicate
entire thoughts to other people.

There are a number of ways to define communication styles. It seems that every self-help or public
speaking book has yet another way to categorize the ways people prefer to communicate. The labels
placed on the various communication styles are much less important than taking the time to simply
consider what your own style might be. The more you know about the various styles of communication,
the more effective you can be, not just in making your own points, but also in understanding what
others are trying to communicate to you.

One common method for determining communication styles is to break them down into the following
categories: Passive, Aggressive. Passive Aggressive, and Assertive EXCEPT PASSIVE-ASSERTIVE

Recognizing and Understanding Communication Styles

Passive Communication

Those who use a passive style of communication often keep their own feelings hidden from others. The
goal with this type of communication is to avoid conflict. Rather than risk causing some sort of upset,
the Passive Communicator will avoid expressing his or her own opinions and will accept those of others
instead.
If the Passive Communicator does choose to express an opinion, it will usually be done very quietly, and
he or she is unlikely to defend it very strongly. In addition to a quiet tone of voice, passive
communication can be recognized by the way in which the individual avoids eye contact. Because the
Passive Communicator is so concerned about avoiding conflict, he or she is constantly holding back
personal opinions in favor of those of others. This is the person who doesn't want to "rock the boat."

The Passive Communicator will often say things like:

 I don't know.
 You decide.
 It doesn't matter to me.
 Whatever you think.

EXCEPT I KNOW WHAT’S BEST.

This inability to stand up for oneself has some major disadvantages, though. Unfortunately, someone
who always engages in passive communication may eventually "blow up" from the pressure of always
deferring to others' ideas and opinions.

The Passive Communicator tends to get very little accomplished. He or she doesn't offer ideas on how
to do things better or more efficiently. For example, in an effort not to be singled out, he or she is
unlikely to do an exceptional job in the workplace.

Aggressive Communication

Aggressive communication has a lot to do with trying to protect one's own ideas and opinions. The
Aggressive Communicator is so concerned with having his or her ideas accepted that they often do so
at the expense of others. This person tends to look at every situation as if it is a battle, and he or she
wants to win.

This type of communication generally includes the use of a loud voice. In fact, Aggressive
Communicators may often appear to be quite angry. This is because they know that others are less likely
to question them out of fear of being attacked. Eye contact is often used in a way that makes it
Intimidating. The words used may also be quite intimidating, and an Aggressive Communicator can go
so far as to verbally abuse others. EXCEPT ACCEPT THE IDEA OF OTHERS

The Aggressive Communicator will often say things like:

 We do it my way, or we don't do it at all.

 Your idea is stupid.
 Feelings don't matter.
 .I know what's best.
The Aggressive Communicator will use manipulation to get his or her way. This might include attempting
to make others feel guilty or trying to control their actions. These people will often go so far as to use
covert tactics to be sure that things are done their way. While these methods may work on the surface,
they do little to foster any real relationships. While the Aggressive Communicator may be getting a point
across, he or she is likely not hearing and accepting the Ideas of others. This leads to a lack of respect
and trust from friends, family, coworkers, and customers

Recognizing and Understanding Communication Styles

Passive-Aggressive Communication

While passive communication and aggressive communication are very different from one another, they
can actually be combined to create a third communication style. Passive- Aggressive Communicators
tend to avoid obvious conflict, but there is still a need to manipulate the situation. In many cases, there
is some sort of "payback" given in return for having their opinions overlooked. The individual appears
to go along with decisions but does so in order to get revenge later. Some of the common tactics of
the Passive Aggressive Communicator are to agree with others to their faces and then belittle them
behind their backs. Sarcasm is one of the biggest tools for this type of interaction. Passive-Aggressive
Communicators may enjoy watching others fail because things were not done their way in the first
place. Backhanded compliments are another tactic employed.

The Passive Aggressive Communicator will often say things like:

• That's fine with me, but don't be surprised if someone else gets mad.

• You did a great job. No one will probably notice that mistake.

• Sure we can do things your way. (Then mutters to self that "your way" is stupid.)

Passive-aggressive communication has a lot to do with sabotage. The individual may feel powerless and
therefore finds ways to subtly manipulate the situation. Passive-Aggressive Communicators don't feel
like they can directly confront the cause of their frustration, so they do their best to get back at it. This
can extend to gossiping and finding ways to disrupt others..

Assertive Communication

The most effective communication style is assertive communication. This includes really sharing
opinions as well as advocating for one's own rights. Unlike the Aggressive Communicator, though, this
person will not trample on the rights and opinions of others. Assertive Communicators are able to
balance a respect for themselves with a respect for others.

Many of the tactics employed by Assertive Communicators will be covered throughout this course, but
some of them include things like using a calm, clear tone of voice, actually Interacting with others, not
interrupting, avoiding manipulation (either manipulating others or being manipulated), using good eye
contact, and remaining in control of one's self. This leads to communication that is a two-way street,
and the Assertive Communicator is likely to garner respect from those around him or her. This also
allows for growth, as everyone involved is allowed to hear different opinions and share their own
thoughts and ideas. EXCEPT USE OF INTIMIDATING EXPRESSIONS

The Assertive Communicator will often say things like:

 I hear what you're saying.

 I would appreciate it if you would...
 How can we work this out?

Assertive communication is also the best choice because it avoids a lot of the emotional outbursts that
are prevalent with the other types of communication. It is easier to solve problems when they do arise.
It can be difficult to stay on track, however, especially when dealing with different types of
communicators, It is important to avoid getting defensive and to try to remain as objective as possible.
It is possible that someone else's idea really is better than yours. On the other hand, it's possible that
you have the best idea in the room, and the Assertive Communicator will advocate for it.

If communication is just getting shut down, the Assertive Communicator may have to stop the
conversation and pick it up another time when tempers aren't flaring. It's best to validate the other
people's experiences and feelings by saying things like, "I can see why you feel that way. This means
that the Assertive Communicator must also be willing to hear what others have to say, and it's possible
that others will have good points. This type of communication is effective because both parties are
willing to look at themselves and change or compromise when the situation calls for it. EXCEPT: IT
MAKES AGGRESSIVE COMMUNICATORS CONCEDE

Introduction

Of the various types of communication, most people focus on verbal communication when they discuss
techniques, challenges, and tools. The reason is simple: as humans, we are primarily social creatures,
and language is the basis of socialization.

What Makes Up Verbal Communication?

The primary tool of verbal communication is your voice. However, verbal communication is not as
simple as simply using your voice to relay meaning Language, word choice, inflection, tone, cues, and
volume all play a role in helping you to say what you mean to say (or, more disastrously, what you don't
mean to say). EXCEPT GESTURES

Verbal Communication

Language

Many people believe that the human ability to communicate through language is the most important
faculty that sets us apart from other animals. With over 3,000 languages worldwide, not to mention
the huge differences within single languages (which can take the form of either slang or dialects), there
is incredible diversity when it comes to what people say and how they say it. In this way, verbal
communication is more limited than nonverbal communication. If language barriers exist and there is
no translator nearby, using verbal communication will not be an effective way to relay meaning.

Word Choice

The words you choose when you are speaking do much to convey your meaning and tell who you are
as a person. When used effectively, word cholce can increase your ability to communicate: used
Ineffectively, you may actually do more damage than good with your communication.

For example, if you use thousand dollar words (words that are typically longer and more complicated
than those used by most people) in a speech, you can either set yourself up as an expert in the field or
give the impression you are trying to appear superior to everyone else. It all depends on your audience.
If you're at a professional seminar with your peers, more complex word choices might be appropriate
and increase your esteem. If you're giving a speech at your best friend's wedding, it might be better to
stick to word choices that everyone can relate to and understand. EXCEPT WORD CHOICE HAS A LOT
TO DO WITH STRESSING SYLLABLES.

Inflection

Inflection is defined as the patterns of stress in oral speech. It is unique to verbal communication and
can be very effective in conveying meaning by inserting additional meaning above and beyond the
definition of the word. For example, consider the following sentence.

John is going to be an hour late again.

Depending on how you stress certain syllables and words in the sentence, you could convey several
different meanings

John is going to be an hour late again The stress on "again" Implies that John is often late, and this time
is going to be no exception The speaker is most likely irritated by the lack of punctuality

Jahn is going to be an hour late again. The stress on "hour" implies that John is often late- and often to
an extreme. This speaker is more put off by the length of the delay rather than John's tendency to
tardiness
It can be interesting to play with inflection in all types of sentences: Read the following sentences aloud
and determine how you can change the meaning of each depending on where the stress lies.

I want to go to the car wash.

My new job is ridiculous and boring.

Her new baby was healthy, at least.

Verbal Communication

Tone

The tone with which you communicate is used primarily to convey emotion. Although some emotions
are evident through the use of specific words and even inflection, tone is the most volatile component
of verbal communication.

For example, if you are angry or upset, your tone is most likely to be harsh or sharp. If you are happy,
your tone is more likely to be quick and light. However, everything about tone is not cut- and-dry, and
you can't rely solely on tone to convey meaning accurately. Imagine someone who is incredibly
passionate about the subject being discussed. Depending on the individual, this passion might be
relayed by increasing force with which he or she speaks (which can easily be confused with anger) or by
growing breathless (which can easily be confused with happiness). However, since passion does not
necessarily fall within either of these restrictive bounds, tone can be misleading in this instance.

Your choice of tone can be incredibly important when communicating through verbal means. Although
emotion certainly has its time and place within everyday speech, business communication is often
expected to include restraint and an overall lack of personal feelings. If you're in a place where your
communication is creating problems either in the workplace or in a social setting your tone will often
arise as the most obvious problem. Fortunately, it is also the easiest component of verbal
communication to control.

Cues

Also known as verbal cues, these are non-words that convey meaning through sound. They are most
often expressions of emotion, such as laughing, crying, or sighing Many cues occur on a subconscious
level or involuntarily. Sighing during times of stress might be your body's way of increasing oxygen
levels, since it typically requires you to take a deep breath. Crying out during an emotional confrontation
might be outside of your immediate control (in fact, your seeming lack of control might actually be
something you dread about confrontation in the first place).

Because you may not always control your verbal cues, you might not even be aware you are making
them. However, they can have a big impact on how your communication is received. As with tone, your
verbal cues are one of the first places you should look when trying to control how you communicate on
a verbal level.
Volume

Many people overlook the importance of volume when communicating. As with tone and cues, volume
isn't always voluntary. You may increase your volume when you are angry, or even when you are
nervous.

Different people interpret volume in different ways. Someone who was on the receiving end of anger
as a child might interpret increased volume as a sign of contention. However, some people increase
volume as a way of displaying joy or happiness.

Verbal Communication

How to Use Verbal Communication Effectively

Verbal communication-like most styles of communication-depends heavily on the individuals taking

part in the conversation. We all know what we mean to convey within our own minds. However, our
attempts to translate thoughts and emotions into words are often fraught with misunderstandings.

The most important thing to remember is that a miscommunication is not any single person's fault.
Because each person bring his or her own personal experiences, beliefs, and perceptions into any
communication arena - whether it is interpersonal communication or a public speaking venue there is
no way that verbal communication can ever be a streamlined, consistent process. The sooner you accept
this idea, the sooner you can begin to increase your ability to accurately convey meaning.

The next time a misunderstanding arises (or, indeed, before you attempt to have an important
conversation), write out each of these components of oral speech. Consider how you did (or plan to)
use each of these components. Where are the potentials for difficulties? What is your own personal
weakness? How can you better use each component to your own advantage?

Verbal Communication: Case Study

Rhonda Jones was recently promoted to a supervisory position in the doctor's office where she works.
Her promotion was based largely on her years of experience with the company as well as her strong
work ethic.

In her previous role with the company, Rhonda was largely responsible for answering phones, talking
with patients, and making schedules. She communicated with patients and their families on a regular
basis, and always prided herself on her ability to put people at ease. In her new position, she
transitioned to a larger role coordinating other employees (and less of a role with patients).

From the beginning, Rhonda had difficulty getting the other office workers to treat her with authority.
When she would ask them to complete a task, they would often agree to her face and then fail to follow
through. Rhonda felt as though they all waited until she left the room to talk about how awful she was
in her new position.

Rhonda, upset with her new job, considered going to her boss to see if the promotion could be reversed.
However, before she set an appointment to talk with him, she realized that he always held quite a bit
of authority in the office, even though he, too, had been promoted from within. She decided to listen
to him for a few days to determine what, if anything, he did differently.
Right away, Rhonda noticed that her boss used a much different tone of voice than the one she herself
used. He was authoritative without being stern, and he was always direct in his requests. His word
choices were a little bit more complex than hers, even though Rhonda felt sure that their vocabularies
were on equal terms.

Rhonda then noted her own communication patterns. Accustomed to talking to distressed patients,
frantic families, and irate bill recipients, Rhonda had since adopted a tendency to speak in soothing,
calm tones. She explained things in detail using the simplest terms possible. When confronted with
someone reacting Inappropriately, Rhonda was somewhat condescending in her inflection.

Rhonda realized that her new subordinates were reacting against the way she spoke. They felt that she
underestimated their intelligence and their ability to work independently. By changing her verbal
communication patterns to reflect that of a competent supervisor speaking to equally competent
coworkers, Rhonda was able to overcome much of the animosity the others felt toward her. EXCEPT
AUTHORITATIVE BUT NOT STERN

Nonverbal Communication

Introduction

Nonverbal communication can mean a lot of different things, and all of them are important in being an
effective communicator. The most obvious forms of nonverbal communication are body language and
gestures, and we will look specifically at these. Additionally, physical appearance, touching, and even
design choices can be used to communicate a number of things about a person.

Defining Nonverbal Communication

Nonverbal communication is nearly anything that sends an idea from one person to another without
the use of words.

It is important to keep in mind the fact that cultural norms define a lot about nonverbal
communication. Personal space, eye contact, and touching are just a few of the nonverbal tools that
mean different things in different cultures. In the United States, for example, it is considered polite to
maintain quite a bit of eye contact when speaking to a superior. In many Aslan cultures, however, this
would be seen as disrespectful. The ideas in this section are based primarily on what is considered
appropriate in North America

EXCEPT INFLECTION

Nonverbal Communication

Body Language

One of the common phrases used when talking about nonverbal communication is "body language."
Body language can include gestures, movements, and even posture EXCEPT CUES that is used to send
messages about what you mean- most of which are defined at length below. Sometimes body language
doesn't match what is being said, and having an understanding of how to read it can be very helpful in
determining what another person really wants or needs.

 Eye contact is an important component of nonverbal communication. If someone is interested

in what is being said, he or she will engage in more eye contact with the speaker. Too much eye
contact, however, signals that the listener is somewhat aggressive or distrustful. Too little eye
contact is often a sign that the listener is either not really
 interested or feels negatively about what is being said. Speaking of eye contact. it is possible to
determine that someone is bored by noticing that they looking directly at the person speaking,
but that the eyes are a little unfocused. This may be accompanied by a tilt of the head and
fiddling with the hands.
 People who cross their arms over the chest are often keeping something to themselves. or
they may even be protecting themselves from something. Of course, this has to be related to
the situation. If the people speaking are very comfortable with one another, the crossed arms
could signify that one person is thinking very deeply about what is being said.
 The appropriate amount of personal space is something that can vary from person to person,
but it is more-or-less dictated by social norms within a culture. U.S. norms dictate approximately
an arm's length between two people. Someone who is very engaged in what another person is
saying will be more likely to lean forward or to touch the other person.
 Facial expressions convey a lot about what a person is thinking. While we can control our facial
expressions to some degree, there are many times when they just naturally occur (as is common
with verbal cues, as we learned in the previous section).

In addition to body language, we are able to pick up cues about others through their style and other
physical characteristics such as clothing, hairstyle, home decor, etc.

For example, consider military officers. Their uniforms can tell you what branch of the military they
belong to, as well as their ranks and positions. Even knowing that the person is in the military gives clues
to their ways of thinking and interacting with others. Like the uniform, there are many objects in our
day-to-day lives that have symbolic meaning, and this is also a matter of nonverbal communication.

Why Is Nonverbal Communication Effective?

As we've already stated, nonverbal cues may differ from culture to culture. On the other hand, studies
have repeatedly shown that there are seven facial expressions that are actually universal throughout
the human race. These include anger, contempt, disgust, fear, happiness, sadness, and surprise. EXCEPT
DEPRESSION

With this type of information hard-wired into us, it's no surprise that we rely on nonverbal
communication so much. In fact, it has been estimated that as much as 80 percent of communication is
about what is not being said. Rather, it's based on perceptions of a person's gestures, eye contact,
clothing, and environment.

Being tuned into someone's nonverbal communication cues can help you determine what is truly being
said beyond just the words being spoken, Sometimes a person may be agreeing with you out loud, while
clues such as avoiding eye contact or fidgeting tell that perhaps they are not being completely honest
with their words. That means that noticing when a person's nonverbal and verbal communication match
will help determine that they are on board with your idea.

This understanding of body language can also be instrumental in helping others accept your point of
view. Using techniques such as mirroring help put others at ease. This technique Involves subtly
mimicking the other person's gestures, body language, and even speech patterns. Mirroring happens
naturally when people communicate, but strategic use of the method can help make others more
comfortable in a tense situation. When using this technique, it is important that the person not feel
they are being teased, which means that the mirroring should not be exact.

Nonverbal Communication

Reading Nonverbal Cues

 Aggressive: frowns, pursed lips, glaring, squinting, clenching fists, red face, invading personal
space, shaking a finger, sudden movements
 Attentive: holding still while listening, leaning forward, gazing, ignoring distractions, nodding
slowly, paraphrasing what's been said
 Bored: looking around, drumming fingers, yawning, slouching, finding other things to do,
looking at the clock repeatedly
 Deceptive: forced smiles (eyes aren't smiling when the mouth is), sweating, sudden
movements, twitching, seems distracted, fidgeting EXCEPT YAWNING
 Defensive: covering vital organs, lowering chin, crossing arms, using a physical barrier, making
oneself small, tensing up, glancing around as if looking for an escape
 Relaxed: steady breathing, lowered voice, arms hang to sides, using hands when talking. smooth
gestures, smiling, even speed and pitch in speaking, little blinking, unwrinkled forehead

Nonverbal Communication: Case Study

Marcus has arrived ten minutes early for his job interview at ABC Company. His suit is pressed, and his
tie is brand new. He checks in with the receptionist who sits behind a glass desk with nothing on it but
a computer, a phone, and a framed photo of a Golden Retriever. Her hair is Intricately styled, and her
nails are perfectly manicured. She looks Marcus up and down, smiles a bit, nods, and asks him to have
a seat. Marcus sits upright quietly in the lobby with his briefcase on his lap.

Twenty minutes later, the company's manager enters and shakes Marcus' hand in both of his. The
manager asks Marcus to follow him, and the two walk down the stark hallway to his office. Once inside,
the manager moves a stack of files off of a chair to make room for Marcus to sit down. He closes the
door and takes his place behind a desk crowded with family vacation photos, wind-up toys, and more
files. Marcus sits back in his chair with his arms crossed over his chest. The manager also leans back in
his chair.

The manager reviews Marcus' resume, looks directly at him, and tells him how great it looks. He asks
Marcus about his previous employment. Marcus looks at the floor and fidgets with his fingers as he talks
about his experience working at another company. When finished, he looks back at the manager who
asks a question about his interests. As Marcus talks about his love for music, he leans forward and talks
more rapidly. He uses his hands to emphasize what he is saying and smiles while speaking

The interview is concluded a few minutes early. The manager offers a firm handshake, which Marcus
accepts, but both men are aware that a future working relationship isn't likely.

COMMUNICATION IN WRITING

Introduction

Written communication is as diverse as verbal and nonverbal communication. It draws on Individual

languages, dialects, experiences, and education to create a form of communication that can extend
beyond words and actions. Although not as old as verbal and nonverbal communication, writing has
been in existence in some form or another for over 5.500 years.

Using Written Communication

Unless you hold an English degree or work as a professional writer for a living, chances are good that
you are at least a little bit intimidated by the prospect of written communication. If you're afraid of
looking inadequate in terms of your ability to write and use proper grammar, syntax, and punctuation
(or if you've had a bad experience with the misunderstandings that can arise from an email message
gone wrong), you're not alone. Written communication is fraught with the potential for challenges
mistakes, and downright catastrophes.

At the same time, written communication has never been more important than it is in today's
technological age Personal communication devices, emails, memos, and text messages EXCEPT
TELEGRAPH are among the most popular methods of communication in both the business world and
among friends Each of these relles on using the written word to convey meaning.

Audience

The audience of a piece of writing should be the single most important factor you bear in mind when
determining how and what you will say - especially in business. When you plan to send out a letter,
memo, or other type of written message, consider who will be reading it and why. The underlying
purpose of almost all writing is to communicate a specific Idea or set of ideas through words. If you
forget who will be on the receiving end of the writing, these ideas are much more likely to get skewed
or misinterpreted.
For example, starting off a business memo with a personal message is generally not appropriate.
Likewise, the legal jargon you might work with on a daily basis might not be best suited for an email to
your grandmother.

Style

Although written communication should always be tailored to your audience, your own personal writing
style is an Important part of making your writing effective. If you typically write brief, matter-of-fact
memos because that is your personal style, there is no reason why you should be forced to adopt a
more flowery style. In fact, switching from one style to another can actually create more problems, since
your audience may read more into the sudden change than they would if you had remained consistent.

Formality

The level of formality of a piece of writing conveys much about the author (and the recipient) For
business writing, using a formal tone, maintaining proper headings, and following specified formatting
not only demonstrates your own level of ability and professionalism EXCEPT ADOPT A MORE FLORID
STYLE, but it also gives a clue as to how you perceive your audience. For example, a hastily written email
condemning the practice of gossip at the water cooler does not demonstrate that either: a) you are
taking the issue seriously; or b) you consider the email's recipients worthy of a more formal request.
This type of email will most likely NOT result in your desired action.

Skill Level

Although you may not have the greatest writing skills in the world, there is no reason why you should
be afraid of writing. Instead, you should write with your own skill level in mind. If you aren't the greatest
at crafting lengthy sentences or using large words, don't. There is nothing wrong with using concise
sentences as long as you are using them appropriately.

Consider the following message:

All members of the executive-level staff must report to the conference room at precisely twelve o'clock
noon on the anniversary of the organization's opening date.

This lengthy sentence has great potential for error. Misuse of hyphens, apostrophes, grammar, and
spelling can easily occur among even the most experienced of writers.

This example would also work:

Will all the executive staff members please meet for our opening anniversary? We will be meeting in
the conference room at noon.

Although you might prefer to use the first example due to the higher level of professionalism it presents,
it is always better to err on the side of caution. Unless you are 100 percent certain of your skills as a
writer, simple and correct is always better than complicated and potentially incorrect.
Permanence

Written communication is much more permanent than verbal or nonverbal communication. When you
write something down-whether it's on paper, email, or a napkin you found at a bar - there is no taking
it back. This is why legally binding contracts are almost always restricted to writing it's the one place
where you cannot pretend that you "said something other than what's there. This is why you should
always write with the knowledge that the words you choose today can have repercussions in the future.

Communicating in Writing

Pros and Cons of Written Communication

Like most things, there are two sides to written communication. In some instances, it can be an
invaluable tool to save time and money. In others, it can result in greater misunderstandings and even
potential lawsuits. Before you commit something to writing, it's always a good idea to determine if a
phone call or even a quick meeting would be better.

Pros of Written Communication

• You can send out bulk messages in a uniform, consistent manner

• You have a record of your communication
• You can organize long thought processes or otherwise lengthy messages
 You can review what you've written before it is sent out

EXCEPT TO BE ABLE TO USE SARCASM WITHOUT BEING UNDERSTOOD

Cons of Written Communication

• It can take longer to write out and proofread a message than it can to simply verbalize it in the
first place
• Emotion, sarcasm, and Jokes can be easily misunderstood
• Many people consider it to be too informal (or too formal, as the case may be)
• Your audience may read something into it that you didn't intend
• Your skill level might give the wrong impression to your audience

Tips for Avoiding Misunderstandings in Written Communication

Of course, there will come a time and place when communicating through writing is either your only
option or the best one. Although having a solid grasp of language and grammar is a great place to start,
you can also rely on these tips to reduce the possibility of miscommunication.

• Don't use slang words or words that have different meanings within different cultures.
 • Don't rely on emoticons (the smiley faces that can either be made out of colons and parentheses
or added to an email in a colorful form) to save you from a misunderstanding. If there is a chance
your choice of sentence can be taken the wrong way, reword it so that it cannot
• Always proofread something before you send or deliver it. Use the spellchecker on your word
processor if you have to, but don't rely on it to take care of potential misunderstandings or
other errors:
• Be short and to the point. The more you stray from a subject, the greater the chances for
problems arising later on
• Take the time to consider how your message is organized. You want your ideas to flow in a
logical manner.
• Don't use comparisons or figures of speech in business writing. This is no place to show your
creative abilities. Instead, make your point and move on.
• Show respect for the recipients of your message. Don't use language that will either cause
offense or undermine their intelligence or capabilities.
EXCEPT USING FIGURES OF SPEECH IN BUSINESS WRITING

CULTIVATING CONVERSATIONAL SKILLS

Introduction

Conversation is one of the most common and direct methods for communicating. In order to be as
effective as possible, it is important to know how to conduct yourself in a conversation. There are
several skills that are required to be effective with this type of communication, and some of them will
be expounded upon in this lesson.

The Importance of Good Conversational Skills

Whether you are trying to develop business or professional relationships, being a good conversationalist
is vital. Having these types of skills means that you will be able to set others at ease, and this results in
them forming better opinions about you. You will be seen as someone who is approachable. People will
recognize that you listen to what is being said and will feel validated by it. EXCEPT YOU ARE BEING SEEN
AS SOMEONE WHO IS AUTHORITARIAN

While these are all obviously advantages for developing worthwhile relationships, the biggest benefit is
your ability to grow as a person. For example, engaging in active listening helps ensure that you are truly
understanding what is being said to you. Soliciting thoughts and advice from others means that you will
be better informed when making your own decisions. Good conversational skills foster the exchange of
Information, and everyone benefits in the long run.

Active Listening

One method for helping to ensure effective communication is to engage in what is known as "active
listening." This is a way of interacting with others in which you make a point to comprehend what is
being said. In many conversations, participants are merely waiting for the other person to finish talking
so that they can speak next. With active listening, you truly focus on the speaker's words and even take
it further to be sure you understand.

The first step in active listening is to attempt to suspend judgment long enough to really understand
what is being said to you. Oftentimes our communication is hindered by "confirmation bias." This bias
causes us to hear the parts of a conversation that confirm our own beliefs and values while discounting
or ignoring other aspects.

For example, if you expect the speaker to be hostile with you, you are more likely to feel that he or she
is being negative - even when the speaker may actually be trying to find some middle ground. In order
to get the full effect, you may need to watch a person's body language, in addition to hearing the words
that are being said. It is also important to try and be observant about the emotions that the speaker
may be feeling.

Once the speaker has reached the end of his or her bit of dialog. It is your turn to speak. Notice that you
do not interrupt the other person during active listening, as that is going to disturb the flow of
information. Now that the speaker has paused, active listening dictates that you paraphrase what has
just been said to you. Basically, this means that you repeat what has been said, only you do so in your
own words. This gives the speaker the opportunity to let you know if you have correctly understood
him or her.
Because you have paid attention to body language and emotions, you may be able to use those cues to
help interpret what is being said. When paraphrasing, you may also include statements like you seem
to feel frustrated" or "you appear to be quite excited about that." These statements are not facts, rather
they give you a way to express what you understand, and the other person can agree or disagree.

Remember that just because you are repeating someone's opinions back to them, it does not mean you
have to agree. You are simply making sure that you understand the ideas the speaker is trying to share:
Your first impulse in a situation where you disagree may be to contradict the speaker, but utilizing active
listening often allow you to diffuse a situation before it gets out of control. When the speaker realizes
that you are attempting to understand what is being said rather than simply contradicting it, he or she
may be more inclined to cooperate with you.

Active listening is a conversational skill that can vastly Improve the effectiveness of communication
between two people, or even within a group. It is especially useful in situations where there is conflict
or where someone is trying to learn a new skill. Active listening must be used carefully, though, because
it can be seen as condescending. Be careful not to patronize the speaker and to avoid repeating back
everything that is said whether it needs to be or not. EXCEPT IT INVOLVES PATRONIZING THE SPEAKER

Be an Engaging Speaker
Being an active listener is certainly one way to set people at ease and develop relationships. You
probably don't always want to be listening to and processing other people's opinions, though, and
would like the opportunity to communicate your own thoughts and ideas. One of the best ways to do
this is to be someone that others want to hear from.

It seems like some people are just natural-born speakers, while others tend to be meeker and often
fade into the background. However, effective communication is a skill that can be learned; one of the
hardest, yet most rewarding parts of this education is learning to be an engaging speaker. There are
several methods for increasing your approachability and improving your ability to talk to others. EXCEPT
PRACTICE IMPROMPTU SPEAKING

Step One - Be Prepared

If you want to really engage others in conversation, it may require a little preparation on your part. For
example, get to know your audience. If you are speaking with someone who really enjoys sports, you
might be more effective getting your point across if you use a football analogy. Try to find topics that
you and the listener have in common, and focus on those. You may even want to do a little research on
various topics to make sure that you are well-versed and can hold up your end of an Interesting
conversation.

Step Two-Don't be a Know It All

Just because you know everything there is to know about the Internet or the history of Rome or the
nutritional benefits of some new herbal supplement doesn't mean that the listener wants to hear it all.
Being an expert in a topic is great, and it definitely gives you a great conversation starter, but make sure
that the other person gets the opportunity to speak and that he or she doesn't become totally
overwhelmed or bored with the conversation.

Step Three-Be Yourself

Being "fake" or a "phony" is the kiss of death in social or business situations. In order to be an effective
communicator, it is necessary for people to realize that you are being genuine. This can translate into
something as simple as making eye contact so that the listener sees that you have nothing to hide. Speak
clearly and loudly enough for your voice to be heard and understood. Your opinions are just as
important as everyone else's, and you want to be sure that they are shared. Be prepared to hear other
people's opinions, though, and to Integrate that information into your own understanding.

Step Four-Relax
A little nerves or jitters when going into a social or business situation are to be expected. If they get out
of control, however, they can make you a far less effective communicator. Following the previous
suggestions will help avoid some of the tension that comes along with the desire to be a good
conversationalist. In addition, it can help to simply take a deep breath or use another method to center
yourself and gather your thoughts before walking into a situation that you suspect will be difficult.

Group Communication
Introduction
Communicating within groups is different than communicating one-on-one. There are a variety of
dynamics at work in a group that don't come into play in other types of communication. Whether you
are speaking in front of a large group or are a member of a smaller team that needs to communicate
effectively, there are certain skills that can make your task easier. Simply understanding some of the
basic behaviors of humans in groups can give you an advantage when it comes a time to foster
communication.

The Basics of Group Dynamics

A "group" is really formed any time there are more than two or more people together, but for our
purposes, we're going to talk about groups of three or more. Small groups range up to about twelve
people. Most group members share some sort of common Identifying factor. Maybe they are
coworkers. They could also be fans of the same celebrity, or users of a particular piece of software.

Groups can be categorized in a number of ways. A "primary group" is generally several individuals who
have family ties. A "secondary group is more about having ties through an institution. A "reference
group" is one to which an individual feels drawn due to shared interests or values. Reference groups
might include cliques, teams, communities, clubs, or even gangs. EXCEPT REFERRAL

Any time several people are put together in order to reach a common goal, they will go through an
almost identical process. Being aware of this process can help you anticipate what will happen and
 adjust your behaviors accordingly. Once given a goal and some basic rules, a group will generally form
in the following way:

• Individual group members will seek to interact with others that they perceive to be like themselves
based on aspects such as shared interests, similar cultural background, or something else they have in
common. These first relationships will generally only involve two or three group members. Some sort
of dominance will usually be understood. Once these subsets have been established, individuals may
venture out to interact with others but will often return to the original subset. These groups may even
become somewhat territorial in the physical space. The smaller subsets will begin to intermix, and larger
sets will emerge with approximately six to eight members in each.
• When the larger sets form, there will be a reestablishing of dominance and territory while members
learn what their new roles will be. This phase in the group creation will generally include some
disagreements and struggles for power and status.
• Once these problems are settled, the group will have been fairly cohesively established.
• Groups that experience a fair amount of aggression have not solidified because dominance has not been
established.
• These smaller sets of ten or fewer individuals will often continue to compete with one another for
dominance and territory throughout the life of the group.

Group Communication

Group Interaction and Communication

Interpersonal communication happens In a number of ways, including verbal and nonverbal

transference of information. The information we transmit can be translated differently according to the
context. The surface level of a message is called its "content message," while the way it is said refers to
its "relationship message. For example, if you said "I'm so glad you're here," the content message would
imply that you were happy to see the person. If you said it in a sarcastic tone of voice, however, the
relationship message would mean something completely different.

According to William Schutz, interpersonal communication happens because we need a variety of things
from other people.

• First of all, we may need inclusion. This refers to our desire to identify with others. Think of Joining a
club where people meet to engage in a common interest, such as golf or bridge.
• The second need is for control. In some cases this refers to an individual's need to fill a leadership
position. Not everyone wants to be a leader, however, and the need is for control over some aspect of
their lives.
• The final need is for affection. Groups are important because they help us create relationships.
• EXCEPT ATTENTION

How to Be Effective in Groups

 In order to be the most effective communicator, it is necessary to utilize the skills that get your ideas
and opinions across to the other members of the group. One of the most important skills to keep in
mind is to speak concisely. Rather than rambling on about a topic, choose the most important points
and state them briefly. If others need more information, they will ask for it. This gives you the
opportunity to expound on your ideas while still drawing other people into the conversation. EXCEPT
PROVIDE HANDOUTS

One of the best ways to effectively communicate in a group setting is to create some sort of agenda by
which the group can solve problems. "Reflective thinking" is one such agenda that can help a group
communicate amongst its members to create solutions to problems. John Dewey's agenda for reflective
thinking includes:

1. Problem identification - The group works together to identify exactly what problem needs to be solved
and why.
2. Problem analysis - The group now views the problem in light of the forces that can help and the forces
that can hinder. Identifying both types of forces at play in the situation can help identify the root cause
of the problem, as well as help determine the solution.
3. Criteria selection - Next the group should determine what outcome they would most like to see. This
should include any goals they are trying to reach with their solution.
4. Solution generation - The entire group brainstorms as many potential solutions to the problem as they
can. No solutions are rejected at this phase so as to allow for the widest range of possibilities and
creative thought.
5. Solution evaluation and selection - Using the criteria created in step three, each of the solutions is
evaluated for its potential to solve the problem for the best outcome.
6. Solution implementation - Coming up with the solution to a problem is great, but actually implementing
the solution is the desired outcome.
EXCEPT CRITERIA IMPLEMENTATION
When there comes a time for a group to make a final decision about something, there are several
possible methods for coming to an agreement. In some groups, the decision is simply the responsibility
of the leader, and he or she informs the rest of the group of the final decision. In other cases, everyone's
opinion matters.

When all group members agree on the same decision, it is called a consensus. Compromise happens
when the final decision must be adjusted so that everyone in the group has to give up some of their
demands. In some situations, a final decision is left to a vote, and the choice that receives the majority
of the votes is the one that wins. If a group just can not come to a compromise, an arbitration may take
place. In this case, an outside person or group makes the final decision.

Miscommunication
There are three main kinds of miscommunication that can happen within a group, and avoiding them
can be key to communicating effectively.
• Non-understanding takes place when a member or members of the group can not properly
interpret what is being said. In fact, they may not be able to come up with any interpretation at
all.

• Misunderstanding happens when the group member believes that he or she has properly
interpreted the speaker's message, but it is not what the speaker actually meant.
• Misinterpretation is when the speaker's words are interpreted to seem as if the speaker has
different values than the rest of the group.
It is also possible for a group member to intentionally mislead the others by evading questions, omitting
important information, obscuring the issue with evocative language, or simply lying outright. These all
function to limit the effectiveness of communication.

The need for effective communication within groups is paramount to their success. Understanding the
dynamics involved can give you an advantage in helping steer your group toward a positive outcome in
which you reach the best consensus and find the most creative solutions to problems. EXCEPT WHEN
MEMBERS HAVE DIFFERING OPINIONS AND IDEAS

Communications Technology
Introduction
In today's technological world, communication takes on a much different scope than it did even ten
years ago. There are devices that enable everything from verbal communication (cell phones) and
written communication (emails, faxes, instant messages) to nonverbal communication (webcams) to
happen almost instantaneously. With so much technology inundating people around the globe,
communication has never been easier- or more fraught with potential problems

Modern Technologies
Although there is no single, universal method of communicating through technology. computers and
the Internet are among the most popular today. As a communications tool. computers allow users to
send almost instantaneous messages, maintain a lengthy correspondence, or even network with
Individuals from all over the globe.

Computer-Based Technologies
Social Networks: The most widely-known social networks currently in existence include MySpace and
Facebook. These websites create a virtual community wherein users create a page that describes their
interests, history, and background information. Users send messages, offer links to other websites, and
even promote their own interests by using the virtual "space" offered by the network itself.

Weblogs: Also simply known as "blogs," these are websites that are built and maintained by
independent companies and individuals. Those who run the weblogs publish their thoughts, writings,
pictures, and even videos on the website. Other viewers are then typically free to make comments on
that weblog or publish their own blogs or blog articles in response.

Internet Forums: These typically contain "threads" of conversation that can be read by almost anyone
on the Internet (although most forums require some sort of account before you can actually participate
in the conversation). Oftentimes, someone poses a question or addresses a controversial topic, which
users then respond to.

Email: Email is one of the most popular forms of written communication, rapidly replacing traditional
letters and postcards as a means of keeping in touch. Users create online accounts that enable them to
send messages, receive messages, and even store messages.

Instant Messaging (IM): This is a type of "phone call" that takes place with words. Users type in a
message or note, which is then sent immediately to the desired recipient. Files and other documents
can also be sent through IM.
Webcameras (Webcams): Webcams are typically placed on top of a computer monitor (many are also
built into laptops and some higher-end monitors). They function like a video camera, but the images
can be recorded and sent online. These can be used to offer up-to-the-minute footage.

Traditional Communication Means

Faxes: Traditionally used for business use, these send images on paper from one location to another
using Internet connections or a phone line. They are often relied upon for sending important documents
like contracts or anything else that requires a hard signature.

Telephones: Telephones have been in use for over 100 years. These tried-and-true communication
portals have certainly evolved over the years, but today's technology makes worldwide calling cheaper
and easier than ever.

"Snail Mail: This nickname for letters, postcards, and documents send through the Postal Service is
still relied upon for many communication needs. When a document must be tracked or a hard copy
obtained, this remains one of the most reliable sources of communication. It is also the only choice for
communication with some remote parts of the globe.

Portable Communication Devices

Cellular Phones: Cell phones are becoming increasingly smaller and more complex. They offer the
convenience of telephones with a wireless portability that makes them usable almost anywhere. They
range from basic phones with limited range to more complex personal communication devices with
music playing capabilities (MP3), Internet access, and even keyboards for typing. The higher-end devices
(such as the Blackberry) are considered "wireless hand-held devices rather than cell phones, even
though they feature calling as part of the package.

Text Messaging Most cell phones produced today offer text messaging capabilities. Popular among
teens and many other youthful users, these allow written messages to be sent through hand-held
devices in the same fashion as a phone call would be made.

Benefits of Communications Technology EXCEPT ECONOMIES OF SCALE

Ease of Communication
When you communicate using a cell phone or other transportable telecommunications device. you
aren't restricted in where and when you can communicate (with the exception of poor cell phone
reception). You no longer have to be at home or near a pay phone in order to make a call, and you can
even send written messages through cell phone devices in the form of text messages or even emails.

By breaking down these location barriers, communication becomes faster and easier than ever. For
businesses, this means that proposals can be approved even during out-of-office hours (or relationships
can be forged cross-country with no need for face-to-face meetings). For Individuals, this means that
distance is no longer a boundary that will result in strained relationships.

Reduced Waste
Part of the appeal of technological communications is the tendency to stray from traditional formats of
written communication like faces, letters, and even books. By using text messages, email, and even
personal reading devices, users can reduce the amount of paper they use and waste on a daily basis.
Drawbacks of Communications Technology
Isolation
It is much easier to live and work in social isolation thanks to communications technology. While there
are benefits to not being required to make a personal connection for each and every social transaction,
too much isolation can be detrimental to business and personal relationships. For example, it is easier
than ever to send a quick email to check on the status of a loved one. However, as we have discussed
in other sections, there is a lack of emotional connection through this kind of written communication.
Too much of this isolation can put a strain on relationships and even contribute to poor mental health.

Boundaries
As communication becomes quicker and easier, it is more difficult to separate one's home life and one's
business life. In the past, the only way to conduct major business deals or to attend to the details of the
workplace was by being physically present or setting face-to-face meetings. Since email can be checked
from almost any location and cell phones make communication easier, many Individuals find their work
hours encroaching on their home lives - regardless of whether the action is voluntary or not.

Misunderstandings
With the exception of cell phones and other telephone devices, most modern communications devices
rely heavily on written communication; text messages and emails are commonly adopted in place of
personal confrontations. However, the potential for misunderstandings is Increased through written
communication

Barriers to Communication
Introduction
There are a number of reasons why a message might not get across properly. Perhaps the speaker is
not being clear enough or the listener is not really paying attention. Maybe there are cultural or
technological issues at play.

Regardless of the culprit, when information isn't correctly transmitted from the speaker to the listener,
there is no effective communication happening and everyone's time is wasted. In addition,
misunderstandings or miscommunications can cause a number of problems in both Interpersonal and
business relationships.

Physical Impairments to Communication

While modern life has made great advances for the integration of those with disabilities, these folks do
still face many challenges in daily life. Physical impediments can definitely interfere with a person's
ability to communicate, whether that means having trouble getting an idea across or struggling to hear
or understand a response.

One such impediment is a speech disorder. In fact, these are sometimes referred to as "communication
disorders." Someone with a speech disorder may lisp or stutter. Others may not have the ability to speak
at all. Likewise, a hearing individual and a deaf individual may experience some difficulties in
communicating effectively.

While much of the responsibility for dealing with these situations falls to the person with the
Impairment, the other people in the conversation need to do their parts to ensure that effective
communication is happening. This may involve simply asking the other individual if any
 accommodations would be helpful. It also involves being respectful when asking for clarification on
things that may not have been understood.

For example, an individual with cerebral palsy might have no problem following the conversation and
formulating intelligent responses. There may be difficulty, however, in articulating those ideas. The
others in the conversation should remain patient and respectful and avoid being patronizing or brusque.
EXCEPT – WRITE IT DOWN

Barriers to Communication
Outside Impediments Affecting Communication
Not every environment is conducive to effective communication. There are a number of environmental
factors that can greatly reduce how well communication happens. Those working on a construction site,
for example, will have to deal with excessive noise while trying to give or receive instructions on how to
get the job done. Staff located in separate buildings will have fewer opportunities for face-to-face
communication than they would if they worked In closer proximity.

For those giving presentations, even the room you're in can affect the outcome. In some cases a podium
can give you a nice platform from which to speak. At other times, it might be too much of a barrier
between you and your audience. If the room is too large, people in the back may have trouble hearing
what you have to say. Rows of chairs and architectural elements in the room can block the view from
the audience to the stage, as well. EXCEPT SPEECH DISORDER

The body language you use can also create barriers between you and the person or people with whom
you are trying to communicate. Being aware of what kind of signals you're sending can help you avoid
confusing or annoying the listener. You are able to control your body language to some degree, so make
sure that you are coming across as being open and Interested in others.

Personality Conflicts and Communication

 Frustration-When people rub each other the wrong way, every little thing can become irritating and
frustrating. Obviously, we do not do our best work when we are distracted by the things that are
bothering us. The same is true for our ability to communicate effectively.

 Fear - It is not impossible for the person on one side of a personality conflict to intimidate the other.
The person with the more aggressive personality is liable to discount the other's input, while the more
passive person may be too fearful to contradict the other, even when he or she should.

 Poor Cooperation - People who do not get along are less likely to be able to work together in teams.
When they are forced to do so, cooperation will be low, and the ability to communicate will severely
suffer.

However, there are methods that can be employed to help offset some of these negative outcomes.
When two people within a conflict must work together, it can be helpful to add a third party into the
mix - especially if this third party has some seniority. The others are less likely to act out on their dislike
in this arrangement. Also keep in mind that face-to-face speech isn't the only method of communication
today. If the parties have a better chance of remaining civil over email, give them the opportunity to
communicate that way.

The Downside of Technology

Now that we have digital media as a way to bolster better communication amongst people, it is
necessary to take a look at some of the problems that can be caused by relying too heavily on
technology.

One of the most obvious problems in relying on technology is that it can fail. Cellular phone batteries
go dead. Internet connections get interrupted. Fax machines break. Entire hard drives crash. These are
all very real impediments to effective communication. If you absolutely need to discuss a business idea
with a potential investor, and you forgot to charge your phone battery, you are not going to look very
professional

Remember that there are a variety of aspects of communication that have nothing to do with actually
speaking. Being unprepared for an important conversation or presentation says something about you
without you even uttering a word.

Another problem with some technology is that people forget that they have very little privacy when it
comes to things like the Internet. If you get mad and write a hasty email, all the other person has to do
is forward it to everyone in his or her address book, and everyone can see how unprofessional you have
been.

It is also easy to overlook the fact that the Internet is not as anonymous as we might think. When you
write something online, there is always a possibility of it being traced back to you and hurting you.
Blogging about your job, for instance may break the rules of a nondisclosure agreement you signed
when you started working. Many employers these days will do an Internet search using prospective
employee's names and will take anything they find (articles, comments, social media profiles) into
consideration when hiring. CONTENT MESSAGE CAN BE OVERLOOK

Finally, communication can suffer when we use technology like text messaging and email simply
because those media do not convey the nuance of what we are trying to communicate. Let's look at the
difference between the content message and the "relationship message. The content message is what
you say, and the relationship message is how you say it. When you send someone an email, your
recipients are usually only able to determine the content message. Even if it seems completely obvious
to you that you are being sarcastic, this may not come through to the reader. Misinterpretations are a
very serious problem when we rely on electronic forms of communication.

Cultural Aspects of Communication

Cross-cultural (or intercultural) communication is a unique field of study that adds depth and additional
dimensions to the existing challenges of communication. It goes beyond the barriers that are inevitably
presented by language differences to include deeper social and cultural issues. It explores the
questions of how individuals communicate with one another - including such issues as how they respond
to direct questions, how they react to individuals with authority, and their abilities to say "no" EXCEPT
HOW INDIVIDUALS USE CULTURE TO FORM LANGUAGE

What is Culture?
Culture is anything and everything that makes a person unique. Race, ethnicity, nationality,
socioeconomic background, education, sexual orientation, and even disability contribute to what it is
that makes us unique as human beings. However, for the purposes of this section, we will look at culture
as it relates to ethnicity and nationality. Although this doesn't discount any of the other contributing
factors, it does emphasize those differences that play the biggest role in providing obstacles to
communication in a world where communication for business knows no boundaries.
Cultural Aspects of Communication

The Global Community I

In today's business and Internet-based world, communication with individuals from all over the world
has never been easier- or more important to a business's bottom line. While language barriers can
technically be overcome by translators, these individuals often overlook the subtle nuances that make
cultures and communication unique. In order to be effective in your relationships with other cultures,
you have to move above and beyond mere language to embrace deeper, more personal worldviews.

Step One-Acknowledge Cultural Differences

The fact that cross-cultural communication is now an independent field of study goes a long way in
helping individuals all over the world to overcome barriers to communication. Historically,
miscommunications across cultures were attributed to linguistic difficulties and very little more
However, we now know that there is a much deeper level of communication to address.

By acknowledging that cultural barriers may present a challenge to your next communication endeavor
(for example, if your new employee is from a Native culture or you are employing an overseas firm to
handle your telecommunications), you will be better able to address issues that may arise-even if you
don't know where or how these issues will come up.

Step Two-Share the Blame

If you and another person are attempting to communicate effectively and you have ascertained that
cultural barriers are presenting a problem, the first instinct is to place the blame on the non-dominant
culture. We see this all the time in politics, business, and the media. Many Western nations adopt an
"assign the blame" mentality wherein they feel that a problem cannot be handled until the fault is
pinpointed on a single individual or situation,

However, when a miscommunication arises due to cultural norms, there is no single place for the blame
to lle. Cultural norms dictate everything from how one treats the sexes to how one views time. These
are ingrained practices that most individuals have been practicing since birth. Although you may
disagree with what the other person believes or does, it is no more "wrong" than your own actions.

Businesses may have an additionally difficult time with this, since it is often felt that if one wants to do
business with a certain culture, he or she needs to adapt (meaning the other party can make such
demands and refuse to compromise). However, if your purpose is to create more effective
communication-regardless of your personal beliefs or practices - you have to be willing to meet others
at least halfway

Step Three-Never Make Assumptions

As humans, we tend to project our own thoughts and feelings onto others, especially when there are
problems with communication. This is never more evident than it is with different cultures, since we
are often at a loss as to the underlying reasons behind the actions of culture we know little about or do
not understand.

However, making assumptions is almost guaranteed to lead to communication difficulties, No matter

what sorts of challenges arise, avoid becoming hostile, aggressive, or otherwise overbearing. Try to
understand where the other person is coming from; if you can't, don't be afraid to ask questions. It isn't
a bad thing to not know about another culture-it is a bad thing to refuse to learn.
Step Four-Don't Rely Solely on Generalizations
There have been countless studies done on cultural differences and communication patterns. These
include such things as the widely-known Cultural Dimensions studies by Geert Hofstede, which break
down different cultures Into their fundamental differences. These differences are ranked on numerical
scale, allowing individuals to gain an understanding of how different nationalities view things like time,
the sexes, individualism, and authority.

While this tool (and others that offer similar comparisons) can prove invaluable as a starting point, they
should never be relied on as the end all and be all of how cultures communicate. Within a single country,
there are millions of individuals, each with his or her own independent world view. Saying that all
Japanese people are more loyal to their employers is correct in so far as it relates to the way other
countries view the workplace dynamic, but this certainly doesn't mean that everyone in Japan views
their employment opportunities in the same way. To make this sort of generalization is unfair to
everyone involved.

Step Five-Learn the Basics

Although we've stressed the importance of NOT relying on generalizations, it's still a good idea to know
where they exist. It is much like learning the rules of driving a car. Although you should always know
the laws of the road, there is no substitute for avoiding accidents than years of experience, patience,
and common sense. Only with these same three attributes will you become proficient at efficient cross-
cultural communication: however, until you get them, knowing the basic foundation is a great place to
start
EXCEPT ATTEMPT TO CHANGE A CULTURE ONLY WHEN NECESSARY

Cultural Aspects of Communication

The Global Community II
Communication Styles

Different cultures communicate differently. Some rely almost solely on verbal communication, while
others place more value on using respectful silence and nonverbal communication as a way to make
one's feelings known.

(Consider the English word "sure" By all definitions, it means "yes," as in "Yes, I will do that." However,
the word's meaning can really vary from a reluctant "I guess so" to a more enthusiastic "Absolutely." It
is a word that is open to interpretation depending on how it is said and the nonverbal cues that
accompany it. If there can be this much interpretation in a single word in a single language, just imagine
the different ways to interpret communication when you throw multiple languages and cultural
differences into the mix!)

Conflict
How to approach and deal with conflict is an incredibly varied concept across cultures. In traditionally
aggressive cultures (such as in the United States), conflict often has positive connotations-especially in
the business community. However, in other cultures, conflict must be avoided at all costs. To force
conflict on another person might be considered deeply disrespectful and result in a communication
breakdown
Authority
This issue is one that is evident not only across cultures, but across generations, as well. For some
individual, older generations and those in positions of authority are to be revered and followed without
question. For others, "blindly following a leader is a sign of weakness or submission. These differences
come into play primarily on the business field, where Insubordination can result in a fractured
relationship or even the loss of a job.

Individualism
This issue often goes hand-in-hand with authority. Cultures that stress the Importance of the individual-
that is, relying on oneself to get things done and placing teamwork lower on the scale-are often the
same ones that place less importance on the power of authority members. However, when working
with a group dynamic, different views of what constitutes teamwork can result in a huge loss of
productivity.

Although these four concepts are the most important there are additional issues to consider when
communicating across cultures. Always keep an eye to potential "hotspots" of contention: male- female
relations, the Importance of punctuality, the separation of personal and professional spheres, and
making decisions.

EXCEPT INTERPRETATION
EXCEPT ENGINEERED STATUS

Disagreements and Conflicts

Introduction
No matter how great you are at communication, there will come a time and place when a disagreement
arises. As an effective communicator, it is your job to avoid potential disagreements before a situation
escalates to a problem, as well as to employ conflict resolution techniques once a disagreement has
occurred. This skill set - that of conflict resolution is one of the best attributes you can bring to your job,
your social life, and your family.

Is Conflict Always Bad?

You may believe that in an ideal world, you would never have to engage in conflict resolution because
conflict would never occur in the first place. However, there are times and places when conflict and
disagreements can actually improve a situation. Different cultures place different values on conflict. In
some cultures especially the US business community- conflict can be considered a sign of strength and
power.

Although conflict that escalates to real problems and hurt feelings is not good for the workplace,
moderate conflict can introduce variety. Two team members with widely divergent views may butt
heads from time to time, but the chances are that the electricity that occasionally sparks between them
has the potential to produce innovative ideas. Many modern business even capitalize on this idea as a
way to compete and gain an edge in the market.

However, for the sake of effective communication, disagreements and conflicts do not create an ideal
scenario. While it may be better to step back from minor disagreements and controlled conflict, which
may have the potential to turn into great ideas, you should always be prepared to step in to stop things
from escalating or becoming a serious problem.
Disagreements and Conflicts

Avoiding Conflict
Always avoiding conflict can be a sign of a Passive Communicator. This is true only if you take your
conflict avoidance to an extreme level. For example, allowing your co-worker to dictate when you get
your lunch break to avoid a daily disagreement might be acceptable, as long as you are not physically
affected by the issue. However, allowing your co-worker to tell you that you may not leave early to
attend to your sick child because it will infringe on her scheduled lunch break is not acceptable, since it
represents a bullying situation rather than a conflict of interests.

The concept of bullying versus a conflict of interests is central to understanding how to cope with
disagreements. People are all different: they have different backgrounds, cultures, world views, and
beliefs. No matter how hard you try to avoid conflict altogether, it will never be 100. percent possible.
However, having divergent opinions and views is one thing - forcing those opinions and views is another.
When someone in a team dynamic (or even in one-on-one relationships) oversteps the boundary
between having differences and forcing differences, the conflict has become unhealthy and needs to be
addressed.

Fostering Healthy Conflict

For many businesses and interpersonal relationships to function smoothly, conflict avoidance may need
to give way to healthy conflict. In healthy conflict, differences are shared and encouraged, as long as
respect plays an equally starring role. It can take time to develop an atmosphere of healthy conflict,
but the reward of a strengthened relationship or team dynamic can prove invaluable.

Set Clear Boundaries

Determine ahead of time what constitutes "bullying" or going too far. In a formal business setting, you
may even want to go as far as to commit these guidelines to paper. By setting boundaries and making
sure everyone understands them, you can create an environment wherein everyone feels comfortable
being themselves, since they know the situation won't escalate to an unpleasant scene.

Respect Above All Else

In a healthy conflict environment, differences and disagreements are respected. Personal attacks, name
calling, belittling remarks, and otherwise juvenile behavior should be kept far removed from the
situation.

Encourage Divergence
Accepting conflict is a new concept for many people. You may need to reinforce the idea that conflict is
not only accepted, but welcomed. Give people time to get used to the idea and comfortable with
speaking up and sharing divergent opinions.
Offer Recognition
Give a simple thanks to those who are willing to share their views and opinions in the new setting. This
can work in businesses through formal benefits or in personal relationships simply by saying, "I
appreciate your sharing your thoughts with me."

EXCEPT WORKING WITHIN A GROUP

Disagreements and Conflicts

Conflict Resolution
Despite your best intentions, healthy conflict and conflict avoidance will sometimes lead to actual out-
and-out disputes. When this occurs, you need to begin the process of conflict resolution.

Step One-Detachment
Most conflicts that are in need of resolution are those that bring emotions into play. Therefore, the first
step you should take is to diffuse the emotions involved. Though you cannot be responsible for the
emotions of everyone in the room, you can control your own and the way you react to others. Try to
detach your emotions from the situation and avoid forcing other people's emotions to rise any more
than they already are.

(Note: In this instance, emotions are not the same as feelings. When you are in a personal conflict,
feelings are a valid argument. For example, feeling uncomfortable when a co-worker calls you by a
certain nickname is acceptable: displaying anger over the name is not. Although it can be incredibly
difficult, you have to learn how to Involve your feelings without getting emotional about them.)

Step Two-Focus on the Present

Nothing is more common during a disagreement than the airing of grievances. Spouses and individuals
in relationships are notorious for this- they bring up past issues that have little or no bearing on what
the disagreement is actually about. Avoid this common pitfall by focusing on the issue right in front of
you. No matter how hurt you may have been in the past, the only conflict you can actually do anything
about is the present one.

Step Three - Keep Your Voice Level

Shouting over a conversation to make yourself heard is not going to resolve any conflicts: it's only going
to make the other person shout in return. If you maintain a calm speaking voice, you are more likely to
get calm reactions and be able to actually discuss the issue at hand.

Step Four-Focus on Facts

During a disagreement, it's easy to fall back on generalizations as a way to point fingers. "You always"
and "You never are two of the most common villains. These kinds of accusations are almost always
inaccurate, and saying them only serves to hurt feelings (rather than foster results). Stick to what you
know is true.

Step Five-Own Your Faults

Conflicts are a two-way street; you are all responsible for at least one portion of the disagreement.
Taking responsibility for your actions will help you to reach a conclusion faster, even if it means you
have to swallow a little pride to do it.
Step Six - Know When to Walk Away
Conflicts occasionally escalate to the point where a resolution simply isn't possible at the present time.
Taking a "cooling off" period - whether that means 15 minutes or several days - can help all parties in
the disagreement have time to reflect and remove their emotions from the issue.

Step Seven-Know When to Come Back

No major disagreement should simply be swept under the rug. An issue you don't address now can build
up resentment and escalate into something much worse later on. As unpleasant as conflict may be, it is
sometimes necessary to get communication and your relationship back on track.

Negotiation
Introduction
Unfortunately, we don't always agree with others. However, in most cases, we must come to some sort
of agreement or compromise despite our differences. When faced with this type of situation, it is often
necessary to employ some negotiation skills. By understanding some of the basic tactics used in
negotiation, you can help ensure that you are effectively communicating and advocating for your ideas.

What is Negotiation?
At some point in your life, you may have heard references to "the art of negotiation. Negotiation is
sometimes referred to as an art because there are no hard and fast rules that will always work when
you are trying to resolve a conflict or reach a consensus. Basically. negotiation involves using
conversation rather than force in order to resolve disputes. It is a complex skill that works with
different personalities and ideas to come up with feasible solutions. It is so complex, in fact, that there
are professionals whose sole job is to come in and help other organizations and individuals to negotiate
amongst themselves.

There are different styles of negotiation, but when you are actively trying to get your point across and
have it adopted, you are taking the advocacy approach. Your goal is to try and get the best possible
outcome for yourself. This can also be referred to as win-lose negotiation. because you are unwilling to
give in on your demands.
There is also a style of negotiation called win-win. In this style, rather than just trying to get your idea
implemented, you look at the underlying causes for wanting It Implemented. If someone else has a plan
that can reach those goals (although through different means), it can still be a "win, as you get what
you really want in the long run.

Approach
Every negotiation will be different, because you are dealing with human emotions and any number of
topics. However, there are some basic structural ideas that can help you with your approach. In general,
you will want to follow a process somewhat like this. EXCEPT USE COMPLEX LOGIC WHEN EXPLAINING
YOUR SIDE

1. Set your goals. What is the most important thing for you to get out of the negotiation? This can help
you clarify your purpose so that you're not just trying to "win" rather you're actually trying to get
something accomplished.
2. Prepare your case. Be sure that you know, and are able to explain, why you think your ideas have
merit and should be considered.
3. Know your stuff. Take the time to look into the other people's ideas and see what kinds of pros and
cons are involved. This step may help you realize that you both want the same thing On the other hand,
it might help you discover where the other Ideas are lacking and yours really is superior (or vice versa).
4. Start simple. When negotiating, it can be helpful to start with the easiest topics first. This will get
everyone into the spirit of cooperation and will keep tensions from mounting too early on in the
process:
5. Keep your cool. Remember that your "adversaries" are not the enemy. They are people just like you
who strongly believe in their ideas. Getting completely Irate and Irrational is

Compromise

Negotiation
One of the obstacles that often holds us back from being good at advocating for ourselves is the ability
to be assertive. Honing this skill is invaluable when it comes to being an effective communicator because
it ensures that your thoughts and ideas are being heard.

Being assertive means speaking up for yourself, but not doing so to the exclusion of others. In
negotiations, it is unlikely that everyone is going to walk away from the table with exactly what they
want. Instead, there is a need to compromise.

The word "compromise" is often misused. If you give in on all the points that you wanted so that
someone else could get their way, this is not a compromise. In a situation where compromise happens,
each party must give up something so that the basic interest of the group can be served. However,
there are exceptions to this definition. In the United States, compromise is seen as a situation where
both parties lose something, while British interpretation sees this as a situation where both parties win
something. To compromise also means to reestablish goals and desires in order for an entire group to
come to agreement. It requires a high degree of communication skills to be done correctly.

Considering Everyone's Needs

In order to come out on the other side of a negotiation with as few bruised egos as possible, it is really
important to take everyone's needs into consideration. An effective communicator will do this for two
reasons.
1. He or she wants all of the available information to make informed decisions.
2. He or she wants others to recognize that they are being considered in the process.

Active listening is incredibly useful during negotiation. When someone insists that they want a certain
demand met, you are able to ensure that you truly understand what they are saying. This keeps you
from misunderstanding and perhaps agreeing to something you did not intend. The process of active
listening can also soften a person's position toward specific demands. Sometimes just having their
concerns heard and recognized is enough, and they no longer feel that every aspect of their demand is
necessary in the final compromise.

When Negotiation Fails

One of the most famous forms of negotiation is the car deal. You tell the salesperson you're interested
in a certain model, and he or she gives you the price. You think the price is too high and tell the
salesperson that. He or she explains why the price has to be that high and then goes off to "talk to the
manager. After a couple of visits to the manager, you are probably driving off in a new car.

But, what if the price never did get down to the level you wanted? At this point in time, the negotiation
has falled, and it is likely time to walk away. This can be very difficult, as you may have really, really
wanted the car.

Additionally, the salesperson has been trained in how to negotiate with you in a way that will make you
most likely to purchase the vehicle before all is said and done. You may not be able to negotiate as well
as the salesperson, so you therefore lose out on a potentially good deal.

Any type of negotiation has potential to fall. There are a number of reasons why talks can break down.
You must decide where you draw the line and walk away. This can be incredibly difficult, depending on
the situation. While turning your back on a new car is hard enough, turning your back on a relationship
or a job can be even harder. Again, It is a matter of deciding what you can and will compromise on in a
negotiation.

Negotiation really can be considered an art. Like writing, you must choose your words wisely. Like
dancing, you must learn how to lead and follow. And like painting, you must determine when to add
and when to let well enough alone.

Constructive Criticism
Introduction

Whether you work in business or associate with people on a regular basis, constructive criticism is one
of the primary skills that will give you an edge in effective communication. Simply put, it is the ability to
offer criticism - on any subject - without causing offense or creating more conflict than might already
be apparent. For supervisors and managers, the ability to offer constructive criticism means that you
can get better results from your employees without sacrificing respect from either side; and for
interpersonal relationships, constructive criticism can help you in avoiding misunderstandings or hurt
feelings.
The Critic-Recipient Relationship
In most cases you won't be able to offer constructive criticism unless you have a clearly defined
relationship with the other party, Criticism - no matter how kindly or benignly it is offered - is generally
unacceptable from a subordinate, a stranger, or one with whom authority does not figure. For example,
constructive criticism is typically offered from an authoritative standpoint (parent to child, teacher to
a student, or boss to employee) or from equals (spouses, friends, most family members). Although
students and employees may be asked to fill out evaluation forms, it is generally not acceptable for
those in lower positions of power to offer criticism unless the situation warrants it or their opinion is
solicited.

Personal Criticism

If you are offering criticism on a personal level (say, that of a friend to a friend), it is important to fully
expect criticism in return. When you are offering someone advice or direction, feelings of vulnerability
inevitably arise. By opening yourself up to the same type of critique, you are less likely to encounter
hard feelings or an upset in the relationship.

Consider the following scenario:

James and Orville were friends for years. They recently took a class together on fly fishing. James, whose
father was an amateur fly fisherman, greatly exceeded Orville in the classroom skills. Before the class
was set to go out on their end-of-class field trip, Orville asked James for some pointers on becoming
better at fly fishing. James complied, but only on the promise that Orville would share his own tips on
bowling, a sport at which he excelled.
In this situation, James diffused a potentially hazardous situation. Although Orville solicited James for
advice, it can be difficult for equals to admit weaknesses and take criticism. By offering Orville the
opportunity to share his own expertise, James maintained an equal playing field and strengthened their
overall relationship.

Offering Criticism
If you are called on to offer constructive criticism as a component of your work, or if you find yourself
in a personal situation where your advice is either needed or solicited, you should always review the
steps of successful constructive criticism. By going into the situation armed with the right tools, you can
achieve maximum impact with minimum contention.

Review the Situation

Take a step back from the situation that is calling for criticism. In order to offer advice that is free from
potential "danger zones," you have to eliminate your own motives and emotions.

For example, if you are giving an annual review to an employee, make sure you outline exactly what you
would like the outcome to be. Your most likely purpose is to get better productivity from your employee.
However, when done incorrectly, a review can actually make an employee feel worse about him or
herself, the job, and you as an employer - especially if you focus on things that don't specifically relate
to job skills and functions. Make sure you take any personal
issues out of the situation and concentrate on what you need to say to get the desired results.

In the same way, it is important to remove any objects of self-interest from the criticism. It is not about
how YOU would handle a situation or how it affects YOU. It is about what you can do to help the other
person improve. This is neither the time nor the place to set yourself apart as superior in any way.
Look at the Situation from Both Sides
Anyone who has been on the receiving end of criticism knows it can be a hard pill to swallow. Remember
what it is like to get advice and criticism no matter how kindly meant or innocuous it may be. When you
put yourself in the other person's shoes, you are more likely to understand the feelings and emotions
that inevitably go along with it, therefore eliminating the potential for surprise or conflict.

Consider a parent who is instructing his or her child on the importance of calling to ask permission
before inviting a friend over for dinner. Although it may seem like light years away, a parent who can
remember what it's like to be young and to want to spend time with a good friend is more likely to get
his or her point across than one who looks at everything from a strictly adult point-of-view.

Never Focus on the Person

Just as you must emotionally detach yourself from the criticism, you must also detach the other person's
concept of self from the situation. Even if your criticism centers on the behavior or opinions of the other
party, it's important to refrain from belittling him or her as a person. Instead, focus on the actions that
are causing the problem.

For example, imagine you have a friend whose bad breath is creating social problems. Perhaps your
other acquaintances ask you to stop inviting your friend to poker night, since his breath creates
unpleasantness for the group as a whole. Even though it is your friend's hygiene that is in question, you
must detach his faults from the scenario Tell him that the garlic pills he takes every morning might have
an effect on the way his breath smells later in the day, or discuss the techniques your dentist
recommends for halitosis By focusing the object of the conversation on physical details, you sidestep
any blame on him as a person.

Use the "Sandwich" Approach

Imagine the side view of a basic ham sandwich. On either end you have a nice, thick piece of bread; in
the middle is the lunch meat. Let the ham represent your criticism, and the bread represent positive
things you have to say. This deceptively simple idea is the cornerstone of most constructive criticism
protocols. By tempering your criticism by "sandwiching" it between compliments or positive things to
say, you are eliminating the potential for conflict.

Using the same analogy, you have to keep your proportions equal. Your ham sandwich shouldn't be
overloaded with meat - no one wants to be inundated with criticism. Even if you have more issues that
need to be addressed, save them for another day's "meal".

Another important concept here is to not make your approach too obvious. For example, if you're
offering feedback of an associate's short story, avoid offering a pattern of good-bad- good concepts in
the writing Instead, try to open up a two-sided dialog that focuses on the good as well as the not-so-
good points in a more conversational style.

Invite Collaboration

The idea of a two-sided dialog is central to effectively offering constructive criticism. Even if you're
working with a clearly authoritative relationship (for example, boss to employee), there are still two
people with valid, important ideas in the room. Listen when the other person talks, and do your best to
include what they are saying in your own criticism.
In this same vein, allow the other person in the conversation to take an active part in the decision-
making process. Imagine you are offering advice on working as a team for a marketing campaign. You
hope to get the other person to stop shooting down everything the team comes up with Address the
problem at hand and invite the other person to come up with some ideas of his or her own. This kind of
ownership not only reduces potential conflict, but it generally results in a better end product, as well

Receiving Criticism

Constructive Criticism
Part of being a good communicator means being able to sit on both sides of a situation. No matter what
your position in life may be, there will come a time when you, too, must receive criticism of your own.
Although you may be forced to take advice from someone who doesn't use the same principles of
offering constructive criticism as you, you can approach the situation in a manner that increases the
likelihood of a positive outcome.

Recognize the Value

You already know how important constructive criticism is in getting others to heed your advice. You are
now in a situation where you are on the receiving end. Approach the conversation as you would wish
your counterparts to approach it: with an open mind and an eye to self-improvement

Deflect Personal Attacks

You cannot force the other person to refrain from belittling your character or yourself as a person, but
you can refuse to acknowledge personal attacks. When someone does cross the line between
constructive criticism and just plain criticism, verbalize solutions that have to do with your behavior,
rather than your person. Eventually, the other person should pick up on your cues.

Use Active Listening

No matter how personal the other person gets, do your best to keep your emotions at bay and focus on
the important issues at hand. Rephrase what he or she says in ways that clarify the meaning but also
make the criticism less insulting Ask questions that demonstrate your willingness to change.
Open Your Mind
Avoid becoming defensive or closing yourself off to the criticism. Remind yourself that the goal is to
improve your ability to function as an employee, friend, or spouse. By focusing on the ultimate purpose
of the criticism, you may be able to avoid the emotions that can potentially cause greater problems

Maintain Your Rights

Just as you are willing to listen to others when you offer constructive criticism, maintain your right to
ask questions and offer solutions. This doesn't mean you should defend your behavior or paint fingers
in any other direction; instead, keep the other person (and yourself) on track to finding solutions

EXCEPT UTILIZE AGGRESSIVE COMMUNICATION

EXCEPT BE DEFENSIVE