Limitless Love

4 Steps To RECLAIM Your POWER

In Love

THE 21 PAGE WORKBOOK

Written by - Kim Velez
Conscious Life and Success Coach | Mindset Expert

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 Welcome! I just wanted to say a quick hi before you jump in this
workbook I created for you. I want to extend words of
encouragement to you.

You see, I have been where YOU are at. I was a woman
who, for many years, had many failed relationships. I
was constantly feeling insecure and not worthy in
these relationships.

This "needy" mindset led me to either seek

reassurance of my value and worth from others or led
me to sabotage my relationships. I honestly had no
clue that I was the creator of these relationships until
one day…

I Decided I Had Enough...

I was so sick and tired of feeling this insecure in my love life. I had no insecurities when
it came to any other parts of my life but the relationship aspect REALLY kicked my ass!
I was so over how I allowed myself to go on an emotional roller coaster ride when I
was in a relationship. I was dis-empowered because I did not look at myself.

I blamed others for MY reactions... I blamed others for HOW I felt and I blamed others
for ME not feeling loved enough. I had a faulty belief that "they need to change so that
I can feel better".

Until one day after another failed relationship, I finally realized that I was the constant
and these men I had entangled myself with were the variables.

That is when it ALL clicked for me... and it was so freeing!!! It was so liberating to finally
know what the reason was for my unfulfilled relationships... ME!!

Now don't get me wrong .. I am not responsible for the decisions or choices of my past
partners ... but I am responsible for the meanings I attached to them and the way I
chose to react to them.

I want you to know that nothing is wrong with you. AT ALL. So it's important to forgive
yourself for past decisions you may have made.. we can't time travel and go
backwards and it's crucial to energetically get into alignment with the woman you
want to be.

You can't do that if you keep reliving your past. So deep breath.....and let it all go...

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I no longer allowed myself to be the victim
I started understanding that my wounds from my childhood were not healed. I
had an absent alcoholic father, a rocky relationship with my mother. I was an only
child and found my way into the foster care system at the age of 12.

So since a very young age... I felt abandoned, unloved and not worthy and when I
became an adult I kept looking for outside sources (relationships) to make me
feel loved and valued.

I kept looking outside of myself to feel these feelings I so desperately wanted to

feel, and little did I know that, I have the power to embody every single one of
those feelings- ALL ON MY OWN.

Once I understood how I am my ONLY source of LOVE, WORTHINESS,

APPRECIATION, and VALUE I will EVER need... It changed everything for me.

No more anger, no more hurt, no more needing validation and reassurance from
ANYONE. My relationships in my love life have changed dramatically because I
changed.

My relationships with friends changed because I changed.

But the best gift of all... the treasure chest I found was this BEAUTIFUL, LOVING,
SOUL-FUL, UNSHAKABLE relationship and deep bond I have with myself.

And this is why we have crossed paths... I have dedicated the last ten years of my
life helping people as a Licensed Mental Health Therapist and a Conscious Life
Coach.

My sole mission at this time is to help as many women as I can learn how to heal
their hearts, step into their power and find the love within themselves which will
then allow that to flow into any and all of their relationships.

Self love is the only solution...

You Are Loved,

Kim Velez

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Why Can't I Find The Love I Want?
Okay so let’s have a real talk here… the reason why you are insecure AF when you
are dating or why you keep going to these people to reassure you that “you are
loved, you matter, you are worthy”, etc is because of this and only this…

YOU DO NOT HAVE SELF LOVE

Seriously…it’s that simple…
Yes, I know that you may feel confident in other areas of your life like
work/business or friends but if you are reading this then it tells me that you are
not getting the outcomes you want in love.

If you are the girl that gets the guys that “ghost” her constantly or you are the
girl that gets the guys that only want friends with benefits or you are the girl that
gets the guys who go hot and cold… then this workbook is definitely for you.

So when we don’t have a solid foundation of self love (btw- most people on the
planet don’t) we are constantly seeking reassurance of our value and worth
from others. It doesn't matter if you are aware of it or not- if you are not getting
the outcomes you want in life then it is 100% due to your lack of self worth.

Without self love, or a strong foundation of self love this is what happens when
you are dating or get involved with someone you like:

You become insecure

You become needy
You over analyze every text/conversation/exchange you had with the person
You put them on a pedestal
You overvalue them while devaluing yourself
You make them a priority over yourself
You obsessively think about or focus your thoughts/energy about them
You start to feel anxious if not hearing from them
You initiate a lot of the contact
You overvalue them while devaluing yourself
You over give
You seek reassurance from them if you are feeling: unloved, lonely, not valued,
anxious, or not a priority

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 Your mood is dictated by how they are responding or not responding to you
You put way too many expectations on your partner looking to feel "secure"
You accept crumbs in relationships and don't quite get that emotional
fulfillment you want

I could fill this whole page up with more ways insecurities show up but I think you
get the idea. So here is a real talk fact….. Even if you are a master at hiding your
insecurities to them… and totally play it cool….

They still feel the neediness and insecurity energetically from you… every single
time.

So take a moment and write out at least 5 ways your insecurities show up in your
connections:

This is how you energetically repel the love you actually want. Most likely when
they met you; you were vibing high and feeling confident (for the most part) and
then your energy shifted into super low vibes which then shifted your experience
with this person.

****If you are in denial about this… then think about this for a second…. Out of all
the connections you have had where you didn’t get the outcome you wanted….
How many has there been?

If you say more than one, you need to really hear this-

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YOU ARE THE CONSTANT, THEY ARE THE VARIABLE
Before you freak out….this is actually good news though…because this means
that you can change this and start getting the outcomes you want- not only in
your love life but also in your life.

This is what I am going to share with you in this guide.

I am going to introduce you to the 4 step process to start building your
foundation of love.

By doing this process you will start to become emotionally attractive and not
be on that emotional roller coaster because you feel insecure and unworthy.
Doesn’t that sound amazing? And freeing? And exciting?

Hell yes it does!!! What will it feel like to be a confident, secure loved woman?
What will it feel like to be in control of your thoughts and feelings so that you do
not allow them to stay in an insecure place… so that you know anytime you
start to feel insecure, unworthy and not loved- you can turn to yourself rather
than another person.

So take a minute and close your eyes….

Envision yourself as a woman who is loved… who is secure.. Who is honoring
herself and who knows her worth. How does that feel?

List three feelings that came up for you:

Okay so let’s talk about what actually is this self love process.

Here are the 4 steps I will cover in this process so that you can start your healing
journey.

The key to building a foundation of self love is this: You already have access to
everything you seek- it’s all within you.

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 Four of the steps out of the six step process is as follows:
1. Change Your Story
2. Embody Who You Want To Become
3. Enhance Your Life
4. Learn How To Self Soothe

These steps are all part of self love practices I personally subscribe to and
know that they work.

Step 1: Change Your Story

CHANGE
YOUR
STORY
We have a story that we tell ourselves about why we are where we are in life. It’s a
story that is crafted by others' opinions and others' beliefs that we have adopted as
our truth.

A story starts out as a belief and that belief creates an experience. That experience
then reinforces the belief and then the cycle starts. The story you tell yourself is
what drives your choices and behaviors.

If your story says that “everyone leaves me, men I date always pull away, the men I
meet are never on the same page as me, love is hard to find, no-one wants
anything serious with me” then you will energetically be in alignment with the exact
outcomes you do not want.

Your insecurities that are stemmed from those beliefs, will be triggered, and that
will then drive your actions and decisions.

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Now it’s your turn…. Write out 10 beliefs and thoughts you have about
yourself, love and relationships. Ex. All men lie, no-one I meet ever loves me
the way I love them, I’m not valued.

10

These beliefs you wrote are your story. The story that runs in your mind and is the
reason you feel insecure in love. Do you see the correlation with your story and
how it keeps playing out in your life? So if you want a different outcome, you have
to change your story with a new set of beliefs.

New beliefs that are in alignment with what you want…

Ex. I am loved, I am loving myself more everyday, I am valued, not all men lie,
there are some really great guys out there, I am looking forward to having more
experiences where the person I like is on the same page.

Now it’s your turn…. Write out 10 new beliefs that are in alignment with the
outcome you desire.

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 1

10

Congratulations!
You just wrote your new story! Now you will want to repeat this new story to
yourself as much as possible. This is not something to be thought about once
per week- this is a tool to help rewire your old belief system and therefore
needs to be implemented daily.

Step 2: Embody Who You Want

The second step in the self love process is to
embody who you want to become. This is so
much fun! It literally is my favorite part of
the self love process.

So, I’m going out on a limb here… lol… I am

going to assume that your desired outcome
is to 1) be secure and loved and 2) attract
EMBODY WHAT healthier and fulfilling relationships….

YOU WANT Am I right? If not then take a minute right

now and write out what your desired
outcomes are.

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Now that you are clear about your goal- you need to get real with yourself… What
has stopped you in the past from feeling secure and receiving the emotionally
fulfilled relationship you desire? Ex. I’ve made excuses.. I’ve blamed others… I
didn’t know what I could do differently, etc.

Usually, the hesitation or procrastination in the past was fueled by the low self
worth you have. Whatever the reasons are, I want you to know that it boils down
to you not showing up as a secure woman with high self worth.

You want to be secure and be in a fulfilling relationship but have you been acting
like a woman who is secure and in a fulfilling relationship?

The answer is no…. Remember I used to be where you are so I know this is true.
You have been acting like a woman who is INSECURE and doesn’t attract fulfilling
relationships.

That insecure woman entertains insecure, negative thinking. That insecure

woman is constantly blaming others for her feeling insecure.

That insecure woman does not take responsibility for her feelings and that
insecure woman reacts to her love connections from a place of fear, distrust and
insecurity.

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That insecure woman seeks reassurance from others constantly to make her
feel secure.

You cannot get to a secure place from an insecure place.

You cannot get to a loved place from an unloved place.

A huge part of the transformational work is to shift into a secure woman BEFORE
you actually are one. When you start to embody who you want to become… you
are feeling different, thinking different, and responding differently. That is
elevating your energy on a new level where people who are on that level will
start showing up in your space.

You will create new and better experiences with everyone around you PLUS
attract new people who are more in alignment with what you want, as you are
energetically being in alignment with WHO YOU want to be.

And before you know it…

YOU ARE NOW THAT SECURE. LOVED WOMAN WHO

HAS FULFILLING RELATIONSHIPS!

I want you to write out the traits of the woman you want to embody. What
does this woman think about herself? How does she show up in her life? What
are her beliefs about who she dates and relationships? How does she respond
in her relationships? How does she feel? What does she do? What are the
topics she likes to talk about? Who are her friends?

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Empower yourself right now. Step into the embodiment of who this woman
is and claim her as your own! I like to close my eyes and see myself as this
powerful, confident, and secure woman. This helps me connect to how she
feels… that is the key to embodiment.. feeling and acting as if until it is so.

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 Step 3: Enhance Your Life

ENHANCE YOUR
LIFE

The third step in the self love process is to enhance your life. I can’t tell you how
many women put things they want to do to the side… “I’ll wait to do X until I’m in a
relationship.”

That is a big no no.. You have one life and it’s 100% yours. So why are you putting
things on hold for later, or when you have more money or when you are married,
blah blah blah?

How are you claiming your life? If you are sitting back and wanting more
excitement or adventure in your life and believe you will get that when you have a
partner… you will not get it or when you do it will be short-lived…

Stop putting off on someone what you want for yourself.. It’s your responsibility to
create the adventure, experiences or excitement you crave in your life… not
someone else's.

I was dating someone and he was a go getter- still is. He shared with me that he
was in a movie and how excited he was for this really cool experience.He had
never been in one before and he was lit up with magic when sharing about how
uncomfortable he felt because it was something new and exciting and out of his
comfort zone.

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 He created adventure and excitement for himself. And he taught me a valuable
lesson for myself in that moment.

I wanted new, exciting adventures in my life… not necessarily being in a movie

lol but my kind of excitement. The old version of me (the insecure woman)
would have been like this in my mind… how come he didn't share this with me
until after… I must not mean that much to him… he would have told me
immediately if I did…

But the new secure version of me was so happy for him and did not
personalize that I wasn't the first person he told… it didn’t mean my
worth was lowered…. It meant that he is living his life and just being
himself… and I absolutely loved that he was living his life on his terms.

He also gave me the gift of realizing that I wanted to enhance my

own life experiences… so I looked at how and what can I do to bring
more adventure and new experiences in my life… and that led me to a
fun roller coaster ride of new and exciting experiences… that I created
all by myself… I didn’t wait for him or have to do them with him. It was
all about me and it felt amazing!!! I was creating what I desired in my
life!

So what are some things you have wanted to do in your life that you
keep putting off? Exercise class? Cooking class? Self-improvement
workshops (yes I think these are fun lol)? School? Hobbies? Traveling?
Going to your local beach?

What brings you excitement and feelings of adventure in your life? List
5 things and make a commitment to starting them ASAP.

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 Step 4: Soothe Yourself

LEARN TO
SELF SOOTHE

The fourth step in this self love process is to learn how to self soothe. It’s
important to know that just because you recognize your insecurities and are
aware of your limiting beliefs… you will still feel insecure through this process.

The secure confident version of you does not make you immune to feel
moments of insecurity or negative beliefs. The new secure version of you
practices self soothing when she feels this insecurity so that she empowers
herself to self soothe.

Self soothing is important. You need to have the emotional experience of being
able to work your way out of the insecurities so that you KNOW that you can do
it. That is empowerment.

Once you practice how to self soothe… it can never be untaught to you. You will
now have the ability to make yourself feel better without having to go to an
outside source to do so.

That equals empowerment which equals freedom!

So typically you have been self soothing when feeling insecure by seeking
reassurance from the person you are dating. This is what you want to change.

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 You have the
choice to choose
what you want to
think about.
- Kim Velez

You have the choice to choose what you want to think about.

So if you are thinking insecure thoughts such as “are they pulling

away, why haven't I heard from them, they don’t want me
anymore?” you are triggering your beliefs- I’m not good enough, I’m
not valued and loved which then leads to you going into fear, panic
or anxiety.

You don’t like those emotions so you have trained

yourself to get rid of them by getting reassurance from your person..

So then you do an action like call/text or react.

The person replies which gives you the relief of “they are still there”
which soothes you out of fear and panic and anxiety.

You are soothing yourself from another person instead of within

yourself. That’s what insecure low self worth people do which is
what leads to dependency and an emotional roller coaster and
CHASING LOVE.

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So the SECURE ,CONFIDENT, LOVED woman would soothe herself this way:
Something has triggered her to feel insecure...

The negative thoughts start, she recognizes that she is thinking thoughts that
are not feeling good so she takes a few deep breaths and does the following:

She repeats to herself her new story: I am loved, I am valued, I am a

priority, people value me in my life as I value myself, etc several
times.

She closes her eyes and envisions herself as a confident, secure

woman and connects to how powerful and calm that woman feels.

She puts on a guided meditation that is about self love and focuses
on rewriting her negative beliefs.

She chooses to say to herself that she knows this is her old story
creeping up and it’s ok but she isn't going to feed it because it isn’t
true for her anymore.

She does something nice like watch a funny movie or focuses on a

project that brings her joy and satisfaction - read a funny book , etc…

She writes out a list of positive intentions.

She does not reach out to the person for reassurance- she leans on
herself to make herself better.

This is just to give you an idea of what you can do when feeling insecure.
All these self soothing techniques will help you feel better and feel less
anxious and relieved.

NOTE: Make sure in your list you have at least 3 ways to rewrite your
beliefs/thoughts. The other 2 can be distractions like watching tv or reading
a book. The reason is because distractions only switch your focus- they
don’t actually rewrite your belief systems so you need to rewrite more than
distract. Distractions are fine as long as they are not your main go-to when
feeling insecure… because they don’t actually change your mindset.

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 Self Love Action Plan
Okay so we briefly covered four steps to help you on the road to self love so that
you can start having the kind of relationships you want.

Now I want you to make a commitment. A commitment to yourself to

follow through with a self love action plan for the next 30 days.

If you follow through, you will definitely feel a shift in how you feel and you will
start to see a difference with some of the relationships in your life.. seriously it
will start that fast... But I want to be honest with you... most of you will not follow
through and will quit. And for the ones who actually follow through with their 30
day self love action plan you need to know this..... this needs to be a lifestyle
change... this isn't a quick diet that you do this for 30 days and then you don't
ever have to work on your self love again. This is an everyday practice to love
yourself.

This is a way of being.... This is also going to help you feel less insecure and
anxious when you do...

When you feel scared, anxious, insecure, unloved, etc instead of seeking
soothing (reassurance) from your partner, I want you to seek it from within.

This practice will help you learn to dissipate those emotions without anything
external of you.

SOME WAYS TO DO THIS IS WHEN YOU FEEL THESE

NEGATIVE EMOTIONS:
PAY ATTENTION TO THE THOUGHTS THAT ARE CAUSING THOSE EMOTIONS AND
YOU START REPEATING YOUR NEW LOVING AFFIRMATIONS

GO TO YOUTUBE AND FIND A LOVING AFFIRMATION GUIDED MEDITATION AND

YOU LISTEN TO IT DAILY

READ SELF HELP BOOKS

WORK WITH A LIFE COACH OR THERAPIST

GET OUT A JOURNAL AND HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH YOURSELF - WHAT

WOULD YOU TELL A LITTLE GIRL IF SHE FELT SCARED, INSECURE AND UNLOVED?
WHAT KIND, LOVING AND UPLIFTING THINGS YOU...

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...UPLIFTING THINGS YOU WOULD SAY TO HER... YOU WRITE IN YOUR JOURNAL AND
THEN READ IT TO YOURSELF. DAILY.

DATE:
I, , AM COMMITTING TO THE FIRST STEPS OF LOVING, HONORING AND
VALUING MYSELF FOR THE NEXT 30 DAYS.

EVERY DAY I WILL COMMIT TO AT LEAST THREE ACTS OF LOVE THAT ARE ONLY
ABOUT ME. THESE PRACTICES ARE:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Example:

Date: 8-15-2019

I, Sarah Love, am committing to the first steps of loving, honoring, and

valuing myself for the next 30 days.

Every day I will commit to these practices of love that are only about ME.

These 3-5 acts are:

1. Write daily in my journal -positive affirmations

2. Listen to a guided meditation

3. Read self helps books

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4. Re-read my affirmations during times of stress and worry

5. Re- read my story I wrote about who I want to embody- CONFIDENT,

SECURE, LOVED and RESPECTED woman

Don't Quit On Yourself

So I think this has been a great start to you changing and showing up for
yourself!

This workbook is not intended to share everything I know to help break these
patterns but it certainly is thorough and covers the highlights to help you
start the road map to honoring, valuing and loving your beautiful self.

I want you to keep in mind that this will require effort and discipline every
single day.

I say discipline because motivation wears off and when it does, self
discipline has to kick in.

This is a time to be compassionate and forgiving of yourself. If you didn't

follow through with the 30 day commitment - just restart it... Don't let that be
the reason you completely stop.

This is a process and it's about changing so that you start getting results
that you want in your life. So take a deep breath and lovingly practice in a
way of thinking and being that is in alignment with who you truly are....
beautiful, imperfectly perfect, amazing, loving and human....

I truly appreciate you taking the time to go through this workbook I created
for you...
I know that you can start healing your heart and reclaim your power so that
you can start having the fulfilling relationships you want.

I have been where you are and I promise you... if you keep investing in
your self worth and well being.... not only will your relationships get better...
your entire life will.

You are taking the first step by completing this workbook in breaking
patterns that do not honor you. I am so appreciative that you have allowed
me to be a part of this journey.

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