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Desirae Rowell
UWRT 1103-063
Jizi
Oct. 1, 2015

Desirae Nicole Rowell. Thats who I am to the government. Of course

thats a mouthful and no one actually calls me that. Only my parents refer to
me in that manner and thats when Ive done something I shouldnt have
been doing. I heard it a lot when I was younger because my brother and I
were always up to something mischievous. I think thats why I resent the
name so much now, because of the connotation associated with it. In
kindergarten, that name got thrown out when my teacher was telling me
about this movie production company called DesiLu. Desi instantly stuck with
the other kids around me and still remains today. Who exactly is Desi? Well I
am a lot of things. My family and friends are a very important extension of
me. I am a friend. I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am even a mother to
some of my friends who require extra guidance. I am an optimistic person. I
constantly look for the positive aspects in situations. Hopefully, I am going to
be a future wife and mother. I also aspire to be a future doctor. Working with
others definitely has to be a part of my job description. I am often thought of
as a caring person. All these factors in my life have created an ideal
environment for me to grow in. I am happy, which is a very crucial part about
being Desi.

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I believe my core values are affection and kindness. However, I think
being a kind and caring person will naturally create other values. For
example, being a caring, generous person will lead to close relationships with
others involved in my life such as my friends and family. Within these close
relationships, you will want to exhibit loyalty and honesty, which are other
important values to me. I value helping others to achieve excellence and it
manifests from being around loving family and friends. My parents always
make my siblings and I a priority in their lives, even before themselves. My
mother especially has influenced these values. Being a nurse, it is her core
responsibility to love and care for others. When she comes home to our
family and continues her care work with us, I am inspired to do the same.
Watching her perform random acts of kindness for anyone she crosses paths
with definitely sets an example in my life. Surrounding myself with
wholesome friends who want the absolute best for each other inspires me as
well. My religion also calls on me to be a loving person and it almost feels
second nature. As time goes by and I continue to give, my generosity and
kindness continues to develop. Ive found that living my life in a generous
way brings happiness to myself and others.
Not only people have influenced the way I am, but events as well.
During my sophomore year of high school, my support systems including my
friends and family began to cripple. At home, the bonds within my family
weakened due to disagreements and disapproval among each other. This
created many arguments where nothing had been solved but everyone was

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emotionally distraught. I would then go to school and separate myself from
my peers because I didnt want to bother anyone with my problems. I felt
very alone at this time and kept it to myself. I experienced an emptiness in
my heart that nothing could fill and a feeling of hopelessness that
surrounded all my thoughts. What made it worse is that I would just silently
cry about it but keep the feelings bottled up. Eventually, I realized that
holding on to my own sorrows was not going to improve any situation. I
needed to look at things in different perspectives and let go of all my
negativity. I figured out that dwelling on unfortunate situations does nothing
but intensifies the pain. Overcoming my own sadness gave me a strong
sense of resilience that I take pride in. However, I know not everyone handles
problems in the same manner that I do. The kindness and generosity in my
heart comes from the fact that I dont want anyone to ever feel completely
helpless. I want people to know they can talk to me and their problems are
just as important to me as my own.
All throughout high school, I was commonly referred to as mom by
my peers. The nickname began as a joke because I would playfully nag my
friends in a nurturing manner, almost like a mother. As I made stronger
relationships with people, I deeply cared for my friends and wanted to see
them succeed. I unintentionally made it my duty to look out for the
classmates around me. Starting off with little favors such as driving someone
home or sharing my lunch, the mom joke became a responsibility I took on.
My mother obviously influenced these maternal-like instincts. Watching her

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interact and love others is the example I attempt to follow. She is definitely a
large piece of the person I am today. However, with the nurturing mother
instincts comes an idea that Im a relatively passive-aggressive person. I
used to wonder why I often heard Ask Desi or Get Desi to do it from my
peers at school. I think some people ask favors of me due to the fact that I
will most likely say yes. In return, this has created an attitude of carelessness
where I allow people to ask or take anything of me. I sometimes dont even
realize when its happening to me because Im so focused on being kind. I
hope I can continue to grow while becoming assertive, balancing my
generosity and strength in a healthy way.
Even though it can be seen as a weakness, I consider my kindness a
strength and work to exhibit it in a positive manner. A smile or words of
encouragement carry so much power that it can change a whole persons
mindset. This influence I have inspires positivity and calls on others to create
their own random acts of kindness. I believe these strengths have also
launched many leadership positions into my life. In high school, the
mother position came with responsibilities to lead my peers. I was named
a captain on my track and cheerleading team without even having to vote. A
lot of the underclassmen naturally look up to me as a role model so I was
thrusted into the leadership role by them. I was known to remain calm in all
situations while presenting good ideas that the team can agree on. I
responded to problems and negativity with kindness and positive words for

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my team. I was able to use my caring attitude to work hard for others as well
as myself, and hopefully lead a path of success.
I believe that there are rarely any circumstances that call for ill
emotions. This is because most of the circumstances that one finds
themselves in are temporary. Situations that wont matter in a day or week
shouldnt be such a prominent source of discomfort in somebodys life. I
believe people should let go of these negative feelings and find an inner
peace, or place where they experience happiness. Once a person has good
control over their emotions, they can live in a peaceful state of mind.
Happiness then derives from this peace. My peace came from myself. During
the low-point of my sophomore year, I had to find my own peace. I couldnt
rely on anyone else for my happiness. Although I felt defeated, the fighter in
me refused to lose. I worked hard to overcome the strong helpless emotions.
Every day I would remind myself to let go of the detrimental thoughts that
clouded my perspective of life. Eventually I conditioned myself to be
mentally and emotionally strong; this helped me to overcome my inner
conflict.
The most important part of this essay was the effect it had on me. I
had never thought about myself in such a manner because I have always
been focused on other people. Ive realized that a lot of my friends and
family have influenced the person I am today. Ive also realized I carry some
very strong qualities as a person. The resilience and strength I have to
overcome my own problems is truly a blessing in my eyes. Writing about the

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negatives and positives within my life in such depth has almost created a
new sense of confidence and happiness. I also think writing prompts that call
on people to think, instead of retelling a story influence better essays and
papers. I feel like a better writer because I was able to reflect on myself with
such emotional depth. I wasnt worried about writing well or comparing
myself to others because my essay was unique, only pertaining to me.

~Tell me the story of how you went about writing, and what was it like for you as you
were writing?
A lot of my paragraphs came straight from our assignments completed in class and for
homework. All I had to do was explain my thoughts thoroughly so they connected in my
writing. I would get on my laptop and type in what I wrote in class and was easily able to
change what I didnt like.

~What were some of the choices you made?

At first, my essay was short because I was trying to decide whether or not to include my
information about sophomore year. I rarely talk about it to people and didnt know if I
should include it. However, I finally decided it was an important part of who I am and
included it.
~Which parts went well or badly for you?
Trying to make the word limit was a struggle for me. I felt like I included a lot of
information but was still not making it the minimum. I decided that it was better to fall
below the 1500 words then trying to cram in random sentences that messed up my flow
of information.
~Where there any surprises?
I was surprised by how much I actually enjoyed my writing. When I would read my essay
out to my friends, they were surprised by how much they didnt know about me. For
some reason, I was able to writing about things that I normally dont talk to people about.
~What questions do you have for me as a reader of your work?
Does my word selection seem forced at times? I have a hard time trying to find the word
Im thinking of.
~What changes have you made and why?
I went back and explained the cause of my sophomore year depression even though I was
against it at first. My readers were probably confused when I started talking about my
depression and gave no explanation to why I was sad.
~Note any issues you had with the peer process, i.e. group members not responding, not
providing feedback, or providing inadequate feedback
Sometimes I feel as if the peer feedback is completed just for it to get done.
.
~Note the positives of the peer feedback process as well.
I was able to incorporate my groups feedback questions into my essay which I also
influenced my own person addition of thoughts and details.