Chasity Vang, Chaskvang@gmail.

com

SEA-APA Scholarship

04/04/23

Lessons I Learned

My name is Chasity Vang. I am a Hmong American. I currently attend Buhach Colony

High School, in Atwater, as a senior. Throughout high school, I’ve had multiple struggles as well

as my peers. I struggled to juggle being in the KPOP dance club, figuring out what I want to do

in the future, my personal life, and my family. This is only a recent obstacle in my life.

A huge obstacle I had to overcome throughout my life was my parents. My parents were

not around a lot when I was younger. I don’t remember much of my childhood but I do

remember spending lots of time with my grandparents, my uncles and aunties. My parents were

always working to give me everything that they never had. The problem was that because my

parents weren’t around often, I had to grow up early and be the mom of my four siblings. As a

girl in a Hmong household, it is expected for me to do everything from cooking to cleaning.

Since fourth grade, I’ve had to take care of my siblings at my grandparents’ house

because both of my parents had day shifts. We would have to wake up early, get dressed, get

dropped off at my grandparents’ house and then I would have to make sure they had everything.

I would also have to wake my uncles or aunt to take us to school. After school, I came back to

my grandparents’ house on the bus. I would have to make sure I did all of my homework first,

then cooked food for my siblings who did not have school, and finally I would have to help my

siblings with their homework. Then when we went home, that was when I finally had a little bit

of down time for my friends and anything else I had to do.

 Fifth grade came and that was the worst year yet. 2015 was the year I lost my best friend,

my grandfather. He had colon cancer. It was hard seeing him walk around in pain. He would

always baby me. He would give me bottles filled with juice till I was 6 years old. I was home

with my aunt from Sacramento. I was helping her watch the kids when my mom came home

crying. She was red and puffy. She told me to get all the kids together while she put her work

things away. I was scared my father was in trouble but when we got to the street of my

grandparents’ house, I saw an ambulance. The flashing lights and multiple cars were my signal,

my grandpa had passed. I had to hold myself together so my mom and siblings would not see me

cry. The moment I walked in, I couldn’t help myself and break down.

Losing my grandpa was the point when I felt myself feeling more and more lost. I fell

into a deep depression. I hardly ate, I hardly showered and I cried almost every day. It was

around this time, I had seen my best friend self harm herself as well. This was a very hard time

for me as I felt the need to self harm as well. I had so much pent up emotions and no one to

really talk to because I did not know what to do with my emotions. Throughout middle school, I

always had episodes of suicidal thoughts. Whether it was a minor convenience or just a random

day.

When eighth grade started, I felt the need to pull myself together and out of that

depression phase. Although I had kept up with my academic studies, I did not keep up with self

care and mental health. Throughout eighth grade, I had my friends and they were my main

reason to keep going. During the summer after graduating from eighth grade, I lost a really good

friend of mine due to suicide. I fell into a deep state of not caring about anybody anymore. I

hated everything and was easily irritated. That's when I realized life is too short to dwell on the

past.
 I wanted to become an entrepreneur and create my own clothing business. I studied

marketing and took accounting classes during highschool. During junior year, I took Sports

Medicine and that was when I fell in love with medical studies. I thought that since I was

already in junior year, I wouldn’t be able to pursue the medical field, however, my lovely

teacher, Mrs. Ipock, told me as long as I take an anatomy class at the same time as the capstone

class, I can be in the capstone class. This is my favorite class, Nursing Assistant. It is a dual

enrollment with the community college. I get to be on the actual CNA field in a nursing home

and help out with the residents there. I love all my residents.

While everyone goes through obstacles, only a few take a lesson out of them. I learned

from my own obstacles that life is too short. You are in control of your own life. If you always

leave it up to someone else, it will not get anything done. This is important to me because I was

able to realize I can change before I let my life fall into a black hole. I should be a recipient of

this scholarship because this scholarship will start my path towards the medical field.