Scene 14:

Barty and Evan’s apartment together. Evan is sitting alone in the

living room reading a book and sipping tea. Barty stumbles in and
slams the door behind him. Without looking up from his book, Evan
smirks.
BARTY
Ev?! You home?

EVAN
Over here Barty!

Barty walks over to the couch.

EVAN
I take it the date didn’t go very well?

Barty groans and plops down on the couch.

BARTY
I’m fucking done. I’m over it. Barty reaches over to Evan’s teacup.
May I?

Evan nods, Barty takes a sip and spits it out.

BARTY
This whiskey tastes horrible.

EVAN
That’s because it’s tea.

Barty gets up, he ramages around in the kitchen for a sec and comes
back with a bottle of whiskey.

EVAN
Okay, talk to me Barty. What troubles you?

BARTY
So. I’m on a date with this girl and it’s actually going really well
right? We’re sitting at this fancy ass restaurant, my treat by the
way.

EVAN (Rolling his eyes)

Of course.
BARTY
And we’re talking, getting to know each other and she’s a very lovely
person. Then she opens her phone and I wasn’t trying to look, really I
wasn't but do you know what she had as her home screen.

EVAN (unamused)
I’m on the edge of my seat here bro.

BARTY
It was that photo from the Met Gala last year! The one of me, you, Reg
and Marls. I started to think that she just wanted me because of my
status. Nevertheless, I tried to continue the date.

EVAN
Why?

BARTY
I don’t know! I thought it might be true love. But as the night
continued she started to ask me more and more questions about my
friends and the people I’ve met.

BARTY (imitating)
Is Evan really that nice? So how unhinged is Regulus? You’ve worked
with Pettigrew right?

BARTY
So anyway I avoided answering her. At the end of the meal I paid and
left the restaurant. Guess what was waiting for me when I left?

EVAN
The paparazzi?-

BARTY
That bitch called the fucking paparazzi!

EVAN
That’s why I don’t go on dates.

BARTY
This happens every single time. That guy last month, I thought he
really liked me. Turns out he was just using me to get to my dad.
Sometimes I just (takes a sip of whiskey) I wish I could date someone
like you.

EVAN
(blushes) Oh?

BARTY
Yeah… I just feel safe around you. And you listen. And you care. I
need someone like that.

EVAN
Hmmm. You could always just date me.

Barty, who had been taking a sip of whiskey chokes on it a little

before slowing.

EVAN
You’d have to ask me of course.

BARTY
Right… yeah?

Evan smirks at flustering Barty. He stands up to go to bed. As he

starts to walk out of the room:

BARTY
Wait!

Barty runs after him, grabs his arm and spins him into a kiss (Nick
and Jess from new girl style) They do a lovely romantic kiss.

BARTY
Be my boyfriend? Please. I’m so lonely.

EVAN (smiling very wide)

What a lovely sentiment. I’d be honored.

EVAN
♫I, I loved you in secret
First sight, yeah, we love without reason
Oh, twenty-one years old
Oh, how were you to know,♫

BARTY
♫and
My, my love had been frozen
Deep blue, but you painted me golden
Oh, and you held me close
Oh, how was I to know that♫
EVAN
♫I could've spent forever with your hands in my pockets
Picture of your face in an invisible locket
You said there was nothing in the world that could stop it
I had a bad feeling
BARTY
♫And darling, you had turned my bed into a sacred oasis
People started talking, putting us through our paces
I knew there was no one in the world who could take it
I had a bad feeling♫

BARTY AND EVAN

♫But we were dancing
Dancing with our hands tied, hands tied
Yeah, we were dancing
Like it was the first time, first time
Yeah, we were dancing
Dancing with our hands tied, hands tied
Yeah, we were dancing
And I had a bad feeling
But we were dancing♫