Rick and Morty Spec - Remorty The Titans - Final Draft

REMORTY THE TITANS
Written by
Alex Pires
A Rick and Morty Spec Script
(647)230-5977
Rick and Morty 1.
COLD OPEN:
INT. MORTY’S HOUSE - FRONT HALLWAY - DAY
JERRY SMITH looks under a rug for something. He makes his way
to the garage, turning back annoyed.
JERRY
(yelling)
1 And maybe we wouldn’t all resort to 1
blaming each other if some people
learned to keep their sticky
fingers to their own belongings!
INT. MORTY’S HOUSE - GARAGE - CONTINUOUS
Jerry continues to rummage around. Opening cabinets and

shuffling through shelves of Rick’s belongings.
JERRY
(muttering to self)
2 Where is it... 2
He pulls open a drawer revealing Rick’s laptop, it’s suited

with satellites and cables arranged arbitrarily.
JERRY (CONT'D)
3 Hm. Fine. 3
He flips it open and starts TYPING.
JERRY (CONT'D)
4 You take a man’s salad tongs, then 4
you prepare to pay for those salad
tongs. Rick.
Jerry attempts to buy the tongs online, it becomes obvious

Rick’s internet operates through some interdimensional tech.
A barrage of pop-up windows fill the screen. Jerry absently
clicks through them trying to return to his purchase.
Growing more and more frustrated. He slams his fist down.

“Purchase Complete.” He breathes a <SIGH OF RELIEF>.
The walls of the garage BURST suddenly. A squad of ALIEN

MILITARY SOLDIERS file in with each Smith held before them.
RICK is shoved to his knees.
RICK
5 Aw Jerry, what the fuck did you do? 5
"Remorty the Titans"

Rick and Morty 2.
ALIEN COMMANDER
6 Smith family of planet earth. You 6
have agreed to be drafted into the
Great Intergalactic War.
The family <GRUMBLES ANNOYED> at the inconvenience.
MORTY
(amongst grumbling)
7 C'mon Rick. This guy serious? This 7
a real thing? I never heard about
no war.
Rick smugly winks at MORTY.
RICK
8 Um, actually, corporal. I believe 8
we are legally obliged to avoid the
draft on account of the contract my
son-in-law, uh, clicked.
Rick’s pants make PRINTER NOISES. A soldier rifles through

them taking out two printed screenshots of pop-up windows.
One reads “Are You Sure You Want To Fight In The

Intergalactic War” with a big breasted anime alien. The
second reads “Dump the War! Sign Up For The Alternative
Draft!” with a picture of a multi-nippled cat-man.
RICK (CONT'D)
9 Looks like we have a different 9
draft waiting for us private.
ALIEN COMMANDER
(snapping)
10 Stop that. You’re just throwing 10
around rankings sarcastically. It’s
not even clever.
The soldiers all look around at each other. The commander

<SIGHS>.
ALIEN COMMANDER (CONT'D)
11 Fine. 11
OPENING CREDITS

Rick and Morty 3.
ACT ONE
EXT. PLANET KORPAPOOZILLAPOO
PUSH IN on a disc shaped planet with a massive dome at its

center.
INT. PLANET KORPAPOOZILLAPOO - KORPAPOOZILLAPOO ARENA
The Smiths walk into a large sports arena. CRANKLE FLAKE sits
at a commentator’s desk (stubby, bright orange, speaks like
Bruce Buffer) shaking as if one line away from an overdose.
CRANKLE FLAKE
(outrageous shouting)
12 And with the arrival of Team Smith 12
at the south entrance it looks like
we’re all shaped up for an
incredible game of
Korpapoozillapoo!
The Smiths look around confused- except Rick who stares ahead
expectantly.
CRANKLE FLAKE (CONT'D)

13 Everyone's favourite wartime 13
deserting pastime! Where opposing
teams must face off launching their
team’s furnt--
A metal, football shaped object with green spikes floats in

the center of field.

14 --in the opposing team’s gobbo-- 14
A miniature black hole floats on either end of the field.

15 --amidst a topsy-turvy, ever- 15
shifting terrain of fun, excitement
and pain!
Crankle Flakes pats a wheel with different “terrain types”

split into wedges. Things like stars, ice and robot faces.

16 The losing team! Will find 16
themselves on the battlefield
fighting for their planet in the
Great Intergalactic War!

Rick and Morty 4.
The jumbotron displays last years tournament: A losing team

is vaporized off the field, reappearing in a war torn field.

17 The winning team! Will receive a 17
special prize from our mystery
guest! Oooh.
The audience <OOHS>.

18 It’s... Korpapoozillapoo!!! 18
The crowd <ERUPTS INTO CHEERS>.
Morty blinks. He turns to Rick.

MORTY
19 Rick? We seriously doing this? 19
Competing in some alien sport game
to not fight in some war? This
whole thing seems a bit contrived
and frankly, cartoonish. Let’s just
pull the plug early on this one.
What do you say?
RICK
20 Y’know what I say Morty? I say boo! 20
Boo to your winning spirit--
MORTY
21 (small) 21
22 Aw what. 22
RICK
23 -- Sometimes you gotta fucking earn 23
your stripes. Run the gauntlet. And
be a man. Ol’ Grandpa Rick won’t
always be here to, to, pick you
outta the sandbox Morty. Dust the
dirt off your trousers. Now what do
you say we get that furnt into that
gobbo and win this fucking thing!
The family- save for Morty- is won over. Rick takes a shaky,
<SENTIMENTAL BREATH>.
JERRY
24 Well I’m inspired Rick. 24
SUMMER
25 That was very motivating grandpa. 25

Rick and Morty 5.
BETH
26 Okay... yeah. Let’s win this thing. 26
RICK
27 As a family! 27
The family- Morty begrudgingly- touch hands and <CHEER>!
Crankle Flake comes over the speakers. Two official looking

aliens whisper something in his ear.
CRANKLE FLAKE (O.S)

28 Uh oh! Looks like infamous cheater 28
Rick Sanchez of Team Smith has been
forbidden from competing! Stinky!
Rick shrugs his shoulders and walks towards the bench.
RICK
29 Aw shit. Oh well. I’ll be cheering 29
you on from the sidelines.
The family begins to <PROTEST>. Jerry looks thoughtfully at

Rick, still inspired.
JERRY
30 Listen, we don’t need Rick! We all 30
have something unique we bring to
the table. Beth- you’re my wife and
I love you. Kids- you're my kids...
Summer... you're older and Morty
you're--
SUMMER
31 Worst speech ever dad. 31
MORTY
32 Stop trying to be the hero. You’re 32
the reason we’re here to begin
with.
JERRY
33 You're right... 33
(heroic)
34 And looks like I’m going to be the 34
reason we get out of this mess.
Jerry straightens up, raising his hands.
JERRY (CONT'D)
35 I volunteer Team Smith to compete 35
first!
The family ERUPTS into <PROTEST>.

Rick and Morty 6.
SUMMER
36 What!? How is that your solution?! 36
INT. KORPAPOOZILLAPOO ARENA - BENCH
Rick sits back in his seat, drinking from his flask

undisturbed.
He sits up, sensing something. Behind him stands none other

than PECKLETON MILKYWAY. Tall, pale blue, sporting a fedora.
PECKLETON MILKYWAY
37 Mmm. Rick Sanchez, I thought it got 37
a little chilly in here.
RICK
38 Peckleton Milkyway. The fuck do you 38
want?
PECKLETON MILKYWAY
39 Funny. I was about to ask you the 39
same thing. Didn’t think I’d ever
see you in the arena again after
you're last Korpapoozillapoo
stint... emphasis on the poo.
RICK
(steaming)
40 Peckleton-- 40
PECKLETON MILKYWAY
41 Coach, actually. See, when you 41
abandoned us off the field- tears
in your eyes and crap in your pants
-the rest of the team had to pick
up your pieces.
INT. KORPAPOOZILLAPOO ARENA - FIELD - FLASHBACK
Rick’s former team, dressed like 80s basketball players, all

hunch over picking up literal loose turds off the field.
Peckleton looks up vengefully. Squeezing the poo in his fist.
PECKLETON MILKYWAY (V.O.)

42 We needed a leader. I rose to star 42
player. Then all-time champion.
Retiring comfortably as undefeated
coach.
The flashback continues with 80s Peckleton realizing the

poo’s squeezed through his fingers like Play-Doh. <Gagging>.

Rick and Morty 7.
He tries to wipe it off on his jersey. Again, realizing now

he has shit smeared on his shirt. He <GAGS> some more.
Fanning his face as he runs off, tears welling in his eye.
BACK TO:
RICK
(unimpressed)
43 Wowee. How many rehearsals that 43
monologue take, king shit.
PECKLETON MILKYWAY
(shrieking)
44 You don’t get to say that! 44
(collects self)
45 Don’t think I don’t know the real 45
reason you’ve returned Sanchez. And
when my BeeBos defeat your Smiths-
then she will see you for the loser
you really are.
RICK
46 Sports and theatre. You're talented 46
Peckleton I’ll give you that.
PECKLETON MILKYWAY
47 I’ll see you on the field. Rick. 47
Peckleton slinks away. Rick maintains the same bored

expression until Peckleton’s gone. A flash of panic washes
over his face as he rushes over to the field’s sidelines.
RICK
48 Shit. Shit. Shit. 48
INT. KORPAPOOZILLAPOO ARENA - FIELD
Rick kneels down rifling through his bag. The family dressed
in uniforms, are pleasantly surprised by his return.
JERRY
49 Well, well, well it looks like 49
somebody does care.
RICK
50 Shut up Jerry. 50
He removes a handful of sweatbands with Smith family logos

stitched on the front. Tossing it to them. The Smiths
optimistically put them on.

Rick and Morty 8.
RICK (CONT'D)
51 Listen- I’m your coach now. Just do 51
what I say and we’ll be coasting
our way to the finals.
A fat lumpy alien, the originally assigned coach, stands

there awkwardly. Too nervous to look Rick in the eyes.
RICK (CONT'D)
52 Beat it. 52
He schlumps off.
Morty squints.
MORTY
53 What’s going on Rick? You up to 53
something here? While we’re out
playing our asses off, you're
coaching us to- to be activated
like some secret weapon that's only
activated through coaching? You use
us to rob the stadium blind? That
it Rick?
RICK
54 For fucks sake Morty. Not 54
everything is some giant sci-fi
conspiracy. Just buckle down, and
ball up.
(180 flip)
55 Now let’s win some fucking 55
Zillapoo! I’m the coach!!
The whole family, except Morty, <CHEERS>.
A COUNTDOWN counts from three. The Smiths look around

confused. They have no clue how to play--
INT. KORPAPOOZILLAPOO ARENA - GAME ON!

The Smiths stand at one end of the field. The crowd <CHEERS>.
Crankle Flake- who has progressively gotten more maniacal

whenever we revisit him- comes over the speakers.
CRANKLE FLAKE (O.S)

56 Team Smith stands plain and tall! 56
Collectively weighing seven hundred
pounds! Jerry stands as tallest of
the bunch, not including shoes! But
don’t count out the rest so soon!
(MORE)

Rick and Morty 9.
CRANKLE FLAKE (O.S) (CONT'D)

Summer is due any day now- those
hormones are churning. Lest we
forget Beth Smith! The matriarch of
the family, Beth has not touched a
bottle in two weeks! Astonishing!
Put your hands together for Morty!
Lost his first baby tooth in the
first grade, and his last in the
ninth! This man has been losing
teeth his whole life! But he’s
still ready to fight! That’s right!
Team Smith looks around uncomfortable.
SUMMER
57 What the fuck? 57
Crankle Flake <GASPS>.
CRANKLE FLAKE (O.S)

58 Introducing our Smiths’ line up! 58
Summer as striker! Beth as the
sailer! With Morty and Jerry as
wobbler and gobbler respectively!
Two giant foam lances materialize in the men's hands.
JERRY
59 Gobbler? Okay, I’m offended. Rick 59
what is he talking about?
CRANKLE FLAKE (O.S)

(deep breath)
60 Its time for Korpapoozillapoo!! 60
A GONG sounds.
Summer immediately rushes forward for the furnt. A PURPLE

HIPPO ALIEN elbows her to the ground, snatching the furnt.
PURPLE HIPPO ALIEN

61 Bitch. 61
Summer pounces to her feet, shooting forward. A RED AURA

begins to glow around her.
Expertly, she weaves and dodges past players.
SUMMER
62 It’s like I’m not even doing 62
anything!

Rick and Morty 10.
She isn’t. Rick sits on the bench. His own sweatband glowing
with the same red aura.
Using his jaw as a means of control. We see the connection

between his jutting and tensing with Summer’s actions.
CRANKLE FLAKE (O.S)

63 Impeccable striking from Summer! 63
INTERCUT BETWEEN FIELD AND BENCH
An opponent swings at Summer with his lance. Jumping on it,

she propels herself forward slamming into the purple alien.
The furnt soars into the air right into... Jerry’s hands.
Rick kisses the air towards Jerry. “Jumping” his control over
from Summer to him. Jerry GLOWS with the same red aura.
Jerry runs extremely grotesquely. Ridiculously high knees and

wobbling body. Rick sweats trying to maintain control.
The furnt BEEPS, shocking Jerry’s hand, he flops to the

ground. Tottering back up to reveal his right hand’s fingers
have been WELDED TOGETHER like a dolphin flipper.

64 Ooh! Remember don’t hold that furnt 64
too long or else ZAP! That’s what
happens when a gobbler tries to act
like a sailer.
Morty scoops up the furnt with ease, launching it towards the

ceiling with impressive skill, he winds up for a kick... POW!
He misses, crashing on his butt. The furnt bounces into his
eye. He <SHRIEKS> in pain. Beth charges forward protective
mother-mode, but trips over it like a bowling pin.
Summer and Jerry in sync bend over and grab the furnt. They
tug back and forth.
SUMMER
65 Let go! 65
JERRY
(sheesh)
66 Okay! 66
Summer cranks back before effortlessly catapulting it into

the gobbo. No red aura glows, its all her.

Rick and Morty 11.
The audience <CHEERS>. Crankle Flake jumps on his desk.

Peckleton scowls.
RICK
(gesturing T-O)
67 Reff! 67
INT. KORPAPOOZILLAPOO ARENA - BENCH - IMMEDIATE
Rick gets the team in a group huddle.
RICK
68 Oy vey. You guys think this is some 68
baby dick clown show? That would’ve
been our asses getting munched had
Summer not completely rose to the
occasion.
Morty keeps looking out the huddle towards the high stands.
Three figures in dark robes menacingly watch the field. One

whispers in Crankle Flake’s ear, he nods. Morty squints.
RICK (CONT'D)
69 Stop trying so hard. I’ve attached 69
a neural-link in these limited
edition Smith brand sweatbands
where I control all your physical
movements.
JERRY
70 Rick! You’ve been cheating?! 70
RICK
71 No Jerry. We’ve been cheating. 71
Except for when you fucked up and
flippered yourself, that was all
you.
BETH
72 So what, you want us to wait around 72
for you to puppet us like one of
Morty’s video games?
RICK
73 Basically. That actually seems like 73
the greatest strategy you could
afford yourselves. Hang back. Pick
your ass. I don’t care. Just be on
your A-game once I’m in the drivers
seat.

Rick and Morty 12.
JERRY
74 Yeah cause that worked out so great 74
last time Rick. What happened to
winning as a family?
RICK
75 God Jerry. Why is everything so 75
fucking hard to get through your
play-doh skull? This is bigger than
family, this is about me making
that smug assface Peckleton, eat
his own shit! So with me or against
me, just promise me you’ll stay out
of my fucking way and give me this!
JERRY
76 Real nice Rick. 76
A GONG sounds. Rick turns his attention to the field.
Rick turns back to the family, everyone’s super pissed. He

puts his hand forward, for some reason everyone joins. They
shoot their hands upwards.
EVERYONE
(upset)
77 Smiths. 77
END OF ACT ONE

Rick and Morty 13.
ACT TWO
INT. KORPAPOOZILLAPOO ARENA - FIELD - BACK FROM TIMEOUT
INTERCUT BETWEEN FIELD AND BENCH
Beth- glowing red- fires the furnt half-court. It clips

Morty’s lance, spiraling down into his head.
CRANKLE FLAKE (O.S)

78 Superb sailing from Beth! Looks 78
like Morty needs to get wobbling.
MORTY
(juggling furnt)
79 What the heck does that even mean? 79
No one’s explained this game yet!
SUMMER
80 Toss the furnt Morty! You’re 80
costing us the game!
RICK
81 Toss the fucking furnt Morty! 81
You’re the worst wobbler I’ve ever
seen!
<YELLING> and floating visions swirl around Morty. He turns

to the crowd, vision tunneling: Two robed figures pull a
child from the stands.
CRANKLE FLAKE (O.S)

82 I don’t believe it! Jerry Smith is 82
performing the greatest gobbling I
have ever seen!
Jerry- fully displayed on the jumbotron, tries to pick

himself up off the ground. His flipper hand slipping against
the waxy floor. The crowd <ABSOLUTLEY LOSES IT>.
RICK
83 C'mon Morty! I’m trying to bring 83
home the bacon!
Morty watches the two robed figures disappear with the child
down a dark hallway. Dramatically, he turns to his family,
the crowd, then Rick. Shaking his head in slow-motion, he
drops the furnt and runs off the field. The crowd <BOOS>!
Rick’s face drops. A GONG sounds.

Rick and Morty 14.
CRANKLE FLAKE
84 Sorry Team Smith, hope you're 84
better at fighting wars than you
are at playing Korpapoozillapoo!
Cause that’s what you’re gonna be
doing! In five--
The rest of Team Smith is on the bench. Everyone’s pissed.
RICK
85 What the hell was that Smiths? You 85
cost us the game!
BETH
86 Fuck off dad. If you cared so much 86
you would’ve helped us out. We’re
leaving!
CRANKLE FLAKE
87 Four! 87
RICK
88 Well good luck with that Beth. Your 88
son just fucked this thing for
everyone. I hope you like your wars
brutal and lonely. Cause I’m not
saving your ass this time.
CRANKLE FLAKE
89 Three! 89
SUMMER
90 Oh yeah Grandpa? You want to blame 90
Morty. You're a shit coach. What
was your game plan?
JERRY
91 Some scientist Rick is. Can’t even 91
invent a mediocre playbook.
The family <WEAKLY LAUGHS> at Jerry’s roast. It’s not that

great, but they’re all ganging up on Rick here.
CRANKLE FLAKE
92 Two! 92
The family- not Rick -huddle together. Prepared to go to war.
A dark hooded figure whispers something to Crankle Flake.

Rick and Morty 15.

93 Oh! What's this? It seems the 93
winning team is actually
disqualified for being a bunch of
cheaters! We saw you! We saw what
you did! Littering in the parking
lot. Couple of litter bugs.
OPPOSING TEAM MATE 1

94 Littering isn’t cheating? 94
OPPOSING TEAM MATE 2

95 We’ll clean up the water bottle. 95
There was no trash can- AH!
The team is VAPORIZED. They appear on the jumbotron having

been transported to the Intergalactic Battlefield, they cower
in fear as bombs EXPLODE in the distance.
CRANKLE FLAKE
96 Team Smith moves on! 96
They all stare up shocked.
RICK
97 Wow. 97
BETH
98 You know what, I hope it was worth 98
it. I quit.
Beth and Jerry leave, Summer stares at Rick.
SUMMER
99 Y’know Grandpa I get it... this 99
game... it does something to a
person. And I’m no doctor, but it
obviously did something to you. But
you dismissed us... you dismissed
us like cold soup. And... we’re not
soup, we’re people.
Rick is left alone now. Peckleton slinks towards him.
PECKLETON MILKYWAY
100 Like father like grandson, Rick. 100
Abandoning your team eh? Shit
coach? They don’t even know the
half of it--
RICK
101 God damn. Take it down a notch 101
Peckleton. Can’t you see I’m
hurting here?

Rick and Morty 16.
Peckleton <SIGHS>. Laying a hand on Rick’s leg sincerely.
PECKLETON MILKYWAY
102 ...I always liked cold soup. 102
RICK
103 Augh, get the fuck off me! We’re 103
not friends all of a sudden. God
what the hell was that? Go find
someone else to have your rival
turned friend moment with.
Peckleton flushes red with embarrassment... then rage.
RICK (CONT'D)
(prepping portal gun)
104 God. Screw this. Serves me right 104
letting the past rock me like its
bitch. Never doing that again...
PECKLETON MILKYWAY
105 Mmm. You sure about that? 105
CRANKLE FLAKE (O.S)

106 I’d like to present our mystery 106
guest of the evening, Lady
Cleotheranus!
A white hooded figure drops her robe to reveal: LADY

CLEOTHERANUS. Beautiful and elegant in an alien princess way.

107 The winner of this extra special 107
tournament will receive a kiss on
the cheek by thy lady princess!
RICK
(jaw on the floor)
108 Holy shit... I got a game to win. 108
INT. KORPAPOOZILLAPOO ARENA - LONG DARK HALLWAY
Morty sneaks off, following a single hooded figure (PHIL).

Phil stops by the water fountain, mid-conversation.
Morty presses his ear against the corner.
PHIL
109 Fools. The only God that exists is 109
the one we constructed, and it will
not stop until every homosexual is
eradicated from the world. I swear
to it.

Rick and Morty 17.
Struggling to sip water without splashing his hood, he

angrily flings it off revealing a large gumball head.
Morty takes out the sweatband, and with a goodluck kiss,

gives it a toss. Almost perfectly landing on Phil’s head, it
spirals into the fountain.
PHIL (CONT'D)
110 Augh! Littering! 110
Phil grabs the headband inadvertently activating it. Morty

makes quick work, jutting his jaw spastically. He gets the
band on Phil’s head, spinning him around.
PHIL (CONT'D)
(nasally whine)
111 Oh God oh God. Is this a dream!? 111
Who’s doing this!?
Phil’s hands begin moving on their own. Amongst the grime on

the wall he spells out “This is God. I have chosen you”.
PHIL (CONT'D)
112 Holy guacamole... 112
Phil falls onto his hands and knees in a <SOB>.
PHIL (CONT'D)
113 I’m sorry!! 113
Behind the corner two robed individuals get closer. Morty

ducks around the corner, facing Phil.
MORTY
114 Quick! You! Uh, take me to your 114
leader.
PHIL
(distressed)
115 I beg your pardon? 115
Morty, using his jaw, gets Phil to his feet. Phil clambers to
the walls, wailing and freaking out. The robed individuals
turn the corner.
MORTY
(still controlling Phil)
116 Oh shit! 116
Inadvertently, Morty flings Phil towards him. The two engage

in a brief kiss. Eyes wide open, <FREAKING OUT> internally.

Rick and Morty 18.
ROBED INDIVIDUALS
(spinning on their heels)
117 Oh shit! 117
Morty and Phil break. Both freak out rambling. Every syllable
Morty speaks jolts Phil arbitrarily like a ragdoll.
We focus on Morty here, breaking to Phil intermittently.
MORTY PHIL
It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s... Oh my God. This isn’t
Jesus. Don’t look too much happening. My whole world is
into that. Let’s calm down turning upside down!
and get back to business. (taps lips, blushing)
Look at me... look at me. What... was that? A shadow in
You're gonna show me... the dark I’ve casted away for
somehow what's going on here. far too long- God- is this
You can bring me as a guest why you chose me? To undrape
or, d- do you have a tiny these lies?
camera?...or...
Morty’s over this. He speaks, sending Phil repeatedly against
the wall until unconscious.
MORTY (CONT'D)
118 This is dumb. I’m being dumb. 118
Trying to use tricks up my sleeve
when the classics work just fine.
Like if it ain’t broke.
Morty begins to de-robe a knocked out Phil.
INT. KORPAPOOZILLAPOO ARENA - CONCESSIONS - LATER
Jerry is behind a hot-dog stand dressed as a vendor. He

notices Rick.
RICK
119 Jesus Jerry, it’s been twenty 119
minutes. What the hell happened to
you?
JERRY
(focused on grill)
120 Life happened Rick. I wasn’t gonna 120
be a gobbler forever. Do I miss it?
Sure. Was I incredibly gifted?
Absolutely. But I’m good at a lot
of things Rick... why waste my time
unappreciated by--
Rick holds his old gobbler lance.

Rick and Morty 19.
RICK
121 We need a gobbler. We need you. 121
Tears well in Jerry’s eyes.
JERRY
122 Rick... 122
Jerry hops over the stand, they grip hands like real bros.
JERRY (CONT'D)
123 Guess it’s time we get the old team 123
together and show them what this
old sports all about...
REVEAL: Summer and Beth hanging back just a bit behind Rick.
JERRY (CONT'D)
124 Oh! You-- 124
RICK
125 Yeah. Last picked sorry buddy. 125
Honestly, this hot dog shtick was
far more engaging than anything
Beth and Summer were doing...
SUMMER
126 Hey dad. 126
RICK
127 And frankly we don't have the time 127
to have a “getting the band back
together moment” here. It’s been
twenty minutes, everyone was just
hanging around. You getting this
hot dog gig... it’s astonishing.
Alright...
Everyone huddles together.
RICK (CONT'D)
128 Let’s get cracking! It’s training 128
time!
BETH
129 Wait. Has anyone seen Morty? 129
RICK
130 Oh for Christ's... 130
Rick begins jutting his jaw in the hallway’s direction.
WS: Slowly stumbling out, like a mad man from a cave is Phil.
Dressed in Morty’s yellow shirt and Korpapoozillapoo shorts.

Rick and Morty 20.
RICK (CONT'D)
(unfazed)
131 Morty!! Morty!! 131
BETH
132 Yeah dad, that isn’t... 132
RICK
133 Yes it is- we don’t have time to 133
fuck around here. Okay?
RICK AND SUMMER

134 Morty!!! Morty!!! 134
Phil does a double take. He shakes his head pointing to

himself.
RICK
(yelling half-court)
135 Yes you are. Get over here Morty. 135
Phil, clutches his head shivering. He submits and sulks over,

joining the huddle.
PHIL
136 It’s... Phil. 136
RICK
137 No it isn’t Morty. Now let’s get 137
training! I'm coaching this bitch!!
Phil adds his quivering hand to the pile. The Smiths let out
a <CHEER> as Phil flinches.
EXT. PLANET KORPAPOOZILLAPOO - GRASS FIELD
Everyone is doing jumping jacks. Rick tosses Phil a lance.
RICK
138 Jerry, congratulations, you are no 138
longer our weakest link.
JERRY
139 But I’m a gobbler. 139
RICK
140 Take this promotion in stride. 140
Gobblers exist for the tradition
and culture and for nothing else.
(shoots a portal)
141 Time to become a team. 141

Rick and Morty 21.
TRAINING MONTAGE ACROSS VARIOUS ALIEN PLANETS & MORTY ANTICS:
CUE TRAINING MUSIC.
- Summer double times through tires.
- Phil lies on the ground unable to get up. Rick facepalms.
- Jerry blocks Rick’s punches. A third robot arm surprises

Jerry between the eyes.
- Morty, disguised with Phil’s hood sneaks behind a group of

robed individuals. They turn around, he dives behind a wall.
-Summer plows through thin sheets of crystal carrying Rick.
- Beth and Jerry surf on clouds, tossing the furnt in-sync.
- Phil flails on his back. Jerry crouches beside him,

comforting him. He smugly shows Phil how it’s done.
- The entire team, including Rick, practices crane kicks

across a sea of spikes. A maroon planet sets behind them.
- Morty scoops up a note off the floor. Over an investment

report in blood is written “It’s not a game.”.
- Summer, back against a giant alien pig nose, does ab

crunches using the beast’s nostril hairs as tension bands.
- In front of a giant waterfall Rick mouths “become the

waterfall” as Jerry gracefully swings his lance around.
- Beth and Summer expertly weave and dodge against tiny mouse
guards in a Lego maze. Beth tosses the furnt above the mice
heads. Summer connects and soars with the furnt.
- Morty sneaks into a closing elevator. A large group of

robes catch the door and file in. They tower over Morty.
- Phil and Jerry expertly “gobble”, slipping and sliding on

all fours in perfect unison. Phil is a picture of confidence.
- Summer stands on top the ocean in trance. Phil comes from

behind tickling her, she crashes below. The Smiths <LAUGH>
splashing each other, and running around like on vacation.
- Rick dramatically looks at Korpapoozillapoo Arena. His

unibrow furrows. He has a kiss to win.
END MONTAGE
END OF ACT TWO

Rick and Morty 22.
ACT THREE
INT. KORPAPOOZILLAPOO BASEMENT - NEW WORLD ORDER HQ
The elevator doors open, Morty spills out revealing:
A sprawling bunker-pub hybrid. A monitor mounted center stage

streams the current Zillapoo game. Team statistics are paired
with betting odds and alien acronyms.
A round table shows an abstract map of outer space, figurines

resembling team logos are scattered across its surface.
Hooded individuals <CHEERS> pints, bet money and get into

<SERIOUS DEBATES> over the game. DIRECTOR MAGNATE observes,
giant antlers protruding from her hood.
DIRECTOR MAGNATE
142 And with our first rounds concluded 142
I bid adieu to the valiant efforts
of those teams who gave their lives
for a noble cause.
A couple officials <GRUMBLE> and toss money on the table. The

map changes, half the colours “usurped” by the remaining
teams’ colours.
NERDY HOODED GUY

143 This elitism needs to end! We’re 143
using entire civilizations as
betting chips. It’s madness! Why
should ninety-nine percent suffer
for the desires of the one!
Director Magnate EXPLODES his head with her mind.
DIRECTOR MAGNATE
144 Because I get Team Smith! I always 144
get the Smiths! I’m a winner, look
at my fucking antlers! This isn’t a
child’s game... This is war!
MORTY
145 Ruh roh. 145
INT. KORPAPOOZILLAPOO ARENA - FIELD
Team Smith enters the field patting one another on the back.

Rick and Morty 23.
RICK
146 Alright! Let’s show them what the 146
Smiths are all about! Kicking ass
and winning games!
Everyone <CHEERS> running gleefully. Rick grabs Phil.
RICK (CONT'D)
147 And hey... knock’em dead Morty. 147
Phil’s eyes shine as he sprints onto the field.
RICK (CONT'D)
148 TEAM SMITH! Lets Korpazillapoo it 148
up in this bitch!
INT. KORPAPOOZILLAPOO ARENA/ BASEMENT - MONTAGE
INTERCUT BETWEEN SMITHS CLIMBING THE RANKS & MORTY’S ANTICS
- Crankle Flake holds a young sick child in his arms. They

spin the wheel, it lands on a robot picture.
- Team Smith runs around in giant mech-pants suits. Summer

accidentally tramples an opponent. She does a “whoopsie”
face.
- Beth is cornered holding the furnt. A lance swipes in

knocking her foes back, it’s Jerry! She chucks the furnt.
- Morty watches a team lose. The screen beside displays the

fallout: the winning team’s armada floods the loser’s planet.
- A team of human babies flock around Jerry biting him all

over. He is paralyzed in both pain and fear.
RICK
149 Walk it off! 149
- Rick juts and clenches with ferocity. Summer slam dunks off
a dorky alien’s head into the gobbo! The crowd <LOSES IT>!
- Jerry -blindfolded- blocks opponents with the same grace as

the waterfall while Summer scans for an opening.
- Morty watches points TICK for the Smiths. Monitors display

droves of alien refuges flee their planets in correspondence.
- Phil expertly gobbles in double-time.
RICK (CONT'D)
(signaling with hand)
150 Play number three! 150

Rick and Morty 24.
Phil nods. His gobble transforms into a breakdance spin on

his head. His legs kicking wildly in the air.
- TICK TICK TICK. More points for the Smiths. Different round
numbers and Crankle Flake wheels float past the screen.
- Director Magnate swipes the roundtable. The map

increasingly matches Team Smith’s colour: Dark Gray. She
chugs a stein, pointing at Rick on the monitor.
DIRECTOR MAGNATE
151 That’s my fucking all-star! 151
- Children offer Team Smith orange slices and towels. One

massages Rick’s jaw. Jerry signs a t-shirt.
- Phil and Summer stand off against a giant alien boar. Jerry
and Beth play instruments on stage in Hawaiian leis.
- An old alien rearranges the scoreboard sign. Placing Team

Smith into the Semi-Finals Bracket. He wipes his forehead.
- Summer bulldozes over an alien opponent.
SUMMER
152 Bitch. 152
- Morty watches A MOUSTACHED ALIEN MAN on a video call with

Peckleton. He squints.
- Beth launches the furnt half-court, an opponent’s lance

swipes at it. In slow-motion it falls bouncing off... Phil’s
gobbling head into the gobbo! The crowd <CHANTS MORTY>!
END MONTAGE
KORPAPOOZILLAPOO ARENA - BENCH
The team rests on the bench tired, but proud.
RICK
(to Summer, light)
153 Bitch? 153
SUMMER
154 Right!? I was really holding onto 154
that all game I guess.
INT. KORPAPOOZILLAPOO ARENA - NEW WORLD ORDER HQ
Team Smith’s victory plays on a screen. Met by <GROANS> and

<UPROAROUS CHEERS>.

Rick and Morty 25.
Director Magnate knocks down the opponent’s figurine like

chess. The entire map’s colour changes Gray/Turquoise 50/50.
The moustached alien puffs his cigar, picking up the

turquoise figurine. The symbol for the BeeBos.
MOUSTACHED ALIEN
(to Director Magnate)
155 Well Marjarene, here we are again. 155
I believe last time we found
ourselves here I forfeited an
entire galactic quadrant to you.
DIRECTOR MAGNATE
156 You seem to have recovered well. 156
MOUSTACHED ALIEN
157 Let’s make this interesting. You 157
can retain total occupation in your
quadrants, I only desire one thing.
Earth- specifically your star
player Rick Sanchez.
Magnate smirks. She CLASPS Moustache’s hand sealing the deal.
MORTY
(to self)
158 Oh man! Rick sure ain’t gonna 158
appreciate being used like a poker
chip. Nuh uh.
RANDOM TUBBY ALIEN

159 Who are you talking to? 159
MORTY
(embarrassed)
160 What? No I didn’t say anything. 160
RANDOM TUBBY ALIEN

161 Man yeah you did. Who do you think 161
you are? Some action hero? Or maybe
a sarcastic detective type?
MORTY
162 Jeez lay off. I don’t even know you 162
creep.
RANDOM TUBBY ALIEN

163 That’s so embarrassing. 163
MORTY
164 Shut up! 164
He runs away, turning the corner to find Moustache on a call.

Rick and Morty 26.
MOUSTACHED ALIEN
165 She’s taken the bait. Now Peckleton 165
time to secure our fate and cripple
those Smiths. Post haste.
(pause)
166 Did I? Oh my God that’s so funny, I 166
swear I did not mean to rhyme just
now. That’s crazy.
Morty <GASPS>. He takes off to warn Rick.
Team Smith <CHEERS> their orange slices on the bench.
BETH
167 I can’t believe I’m saying this... 167
but we’re a great team.
JERRY
(ruffling Summers hair)
168 And this one’s a real all-star. 168
SUMMER
(happy)
169 Yeah- whatever. 169
RICK
170 One more game! Alright hands in 170
Team Smith!
They all put their hands in. Peckleton suddenly appears.
PECKLETON MILKYWAY
171 Not so fast. I see you Sanchez. And 171
I will not tolerate cheating.
Peckleton snatches all the sweatbands off Team Smith’s heads.

Shoving them in his mouth he starts chewing. Sweat and saliva
drips out. It’s gross.
RICK
172 Gross what the fuck. 172
Peckleton tries gloating through his <MUFFLED MOUTHFUL>. He

takes a self-aware pause, then <SWALLOWS>.
PECKLETON MILKYWAY
173 And I’ll be back with more! 173
He scampers off. Everyone stands around unsure what to do.

Phil <CLEARS HIS THROAT>.

Rick and Morty 27.
PHIL
174 You know. When I joined this team I 174
was unsure, unconfident and
insecure with my place in the
world. But after winning together,
I realize that when we work as a
team, we can accomplish anything.
We don’t need to cheat.
JERRY
175 The real cheating was the bonds we 175
forged along the way.
SUMMER
176 Well said Morty. 176
Suddenly Morty bursts onto the scene!
MORTY
177 Rick!! Rick! You gotta check this 177
out. This isn’t no family fun
sports adventures. There’s like
this space Illuminati... I think.
And- and it’s all a front. This
game isn’t to avoid the war, it is
the war. And then there was this
bet over you and now Peckleton’s
gonna cheat!
RICK
178 Little late there Morty. 178
Morty <HEAVES>, the rest of the team look unimpressed.
RICK (CONT'D)
179 Is that it? 179
MORTY
180 “Is that it”!? This whole things a 180
sham! How are you being so ice-cold
cool about this whole thing Rick!?
SUMMER
181 It’s just a game Morty. 181
MORTY
182 It’s not just a game! That’s what-- 182
RICK
183 Y’know what Morty? While you were 183
busy being Nancy fucking Drew this
family became a team. You’re whole
cheating warning was irrelevant, we
overcame that bullshit with love.
(MORE)
Rick and Morty 28.
RICK (CONT'D)
Not that you’d know after you
abandoned us. Maybe the real
resolution to your arc here was to
realize what a little selfish turd
you are!
MORTY
(can see clearly now)
184 Oh man. I was so wrapped up in 184
trying to uncover what nasty plot
would ruin our fresh game of
ball... I became the very thing
that got in the way.
BETH
185 Aw sweetie. 185
JERRY
186 Now that’s a lesson I can get 186
behind.
MORTY
187 Aw snap! Those oranges? Toss me a 187
slice, let me in on those peels.
Phil reveals himself, handing Morty an orange.
MORTY (CONT'D)
188 Ew what the fuck? What the hell’s 188
this guy still doing here?
PHIL
189 Oh- uh Rick! Tell him! 189
RICK
190 Tell him? You heard the Morty, get 190
the hell outta here Phil. You’re
off the team.
PHIL
191 Wah- Phil? What’s happening... 191
Phil looks like his soul’s exited his body. He runs off
<BLUBBERING PATHETICALLY>.
RICK
192 Thanks for taking care of that 192
Morty. You’re a good boy. You came
to warn Grandpa about danger. Now
the best way to show those little
basement betting fucks what’s up is
to win this thing!
Peckleton reappears.

Rick and Morty 29.
PECKLETON MILKYWAY
193 I told you I’d be back! 193
Peckleton KICKS Summers knees backwards.
BETH JERRY
Summer! Gah!
Summer <SCREAMS IN PAIN>.
RICK
194 Oh my God is nobody seeing this? 194
Where the hell is the ref?
Peckleton <BLOWS A RASPBERRY>.
PECKLETON MILKYWAY
195 See you all in hell, loser Smiths. 195
Peckleton exits <LAUGHING>. Summer <HYPERVENTILATES>.
Rick immediately injects her with some serum. She calms down,
but her legs are still fucked up.
The whole family is in CHAOS. Rick’s visions blurs.
RICK
196 Oh God... it’s happening again... 196
INT. KORPAPOOZILLAPOO ARENA - FLASHBACK
We get the prelude to the previous flashback...
Rick and his 80’s team are practicing with the furnt. Lady
Cleotheranus enters, Rick’s awestruck, he lowers the furnt.
Peckleton swipes it and smoothly curves it into the gobbo. He

wiggles his eyebrows at the lady, met by a blushing <GIGGLE>.
Rick grabs another furnt and lines up his shot, sweating.

Peckleton <COUGHS>, causing Rick to slip back. His knees
<CRACK> disfigured, his bottom <FARTS LOUDLY>.
BACK TO PRESENT:
Rick’s stomach <GRUMBLES>. He runs out the building, tears in

his eyes.

Rick and Morty 30.
EXT. PLANET KORPAPOOZILLAPOO - SOON
Rick sits at the edge of the planet, feet dangling. He

<SIGHS> taking a sad sip from his flask. Morty appears behind
him.
MORTY
197 Rick... 197
Rick continues to stare. Morty grabs Rick’s face.
MORTY (CONT'D)
198 Look at me. 198
RICK
(defeated)
199 What do you want. 199
MORTY
200 Rick- I don’t like seeing you like 200
this man. It ain’t right.
RICK
201 I’m a failure. 201
CUE INSPIRATIONAL PRE-GAME SPEECH MUSIC.
MORTY
202 Failure? Huh! Failure! I don’t 202
think so. I look at you Rick and
you know what I see? I see
determination. When his family
quits, when the universe is against
him, hell, when his own grandson
walks out, what does Rick Sanchez
do? Does he take it lying down?
Heck no! He bites back! And he
sinks his teeth into that sucker! I
see a man that when everyone sees
blue he makes the world red. A man
that in but a handful of sentences
completely eradicated my b-plot!
203 Y’know Rick, I’ve seen a lot of 203
goddamn shit today, but none of
that matters when you got your eyes
on the prize and the spirit of a
fucking eagle! I look at you and I
see the smartest man in the entire
universe! Who am I looking at!?
RICK
204 You’re looking at me motherfucker! 204

Rick and Morty 31.
MORTY
205 I’m looking at the goddamn fucking 205
coach!
RICK
206 I’m the fucking coach!! I’m coach 206
Rick!! Bitch!!
The two stand flexing and <SCREAMING>.
MORTY
207 Screw that Milkyway piece of shit! 207
Forget those Illuminati clowns
gambling earth’s sovereignty! Do it
for family--
RECORD SCRATCH. Rick turns to Morty.
RICK
208 What the fuck did you just say? 208
MORTY
209 I was saying-- 209
RICK
210 Morty that’s kind of an important 210
detail you failed to mention.
MORTY
211 You said not to worry about it! 211
RICK
212 Jesus, you didn’t mention the 212
literal fate of the world was
relying on this game! Like I’m
fired up, but we can’t win short a
player. Not against the Beebos.
MORTY
213 I thought you might say that... 213
Morty side steps to reveal...
MR.POOPYBUTTHOLE in a team Smith jersey and basketball

shorts.
MR.POOPYBUTTHOLE
214 Now what do you say we kick some 214
ass?
INT. KORPAPOOZILLAPOO ARENA - LOCKER ROOM
Rick stands before his team. Summer wears two casts.

Rick and Morty 32.
RICK
215 Now... these BeeBos... they think 215
they’re funny. Clever. Stronger...
but you know what they don’t have?
JERRY
216 Spirit. 216
RICK
217 Wrong! They don’t got the highest 217
potency of space steroids bitch!
Yeah!! Let’s do some drugs!
The team juice each other up. Smiling at one another like a
family cooking a Christmas meal.
INT. KORPAPOOZILLAPOO ARENA - FIELD - SOON AFTER
Team Smith SMASHES through the entrance as gargantuanly

massive beasts à la Space Jam’s MonStars.
The GONG sounds. Final round begins!
CRANKLE FLAKE
218 Game on!! It’s Zillapoo time!! 218
Immediately the team barrels forward to the BeeBos.

Ruthlessly TEARING the team apart, CRUSHING their skulls,
RIPPING them in half. It’s a mess.
The crowd’s <INITIAL CHEERS> become <STUNNED SILENCE>.
MonStar Morty singles out from the stands Moustached Alien,

Director Magnate and their posse. In one Donkey Kong-esque
jump he HAMMERFISTS them to a pulp.
MonStar Mr.Poopybutthole slam dunks the furnt in the gobbo

continuously. TICK. TICK. TICK. TICK. The GONG EXPLODES.
The Smiths shrink back to normal, <PANTING>. The crowd, Lady

Cleotheranus and even Crankle Flake are at a loss for words.
A SINGLE CLAP stands from the crowd. It’s Peckleton Milkyway,

he nods in respect.
Slowly, the entire stadium joins, until the place <ERUPTS

INTO APPLAUSE>. Peckleton removes his fedora to reveal a
shiny pair of ass cheeks on the top of his head.
Team Smith dumps their water cooler over Rick.
RICK
219 Wubbalubbadubdub! 219

Rick and Morty 33.
CROWD
(chanting in echo)
220 Wubbalubbadubdub! 220
The crowd swarms the team, lifting them into the air. They
send Rick crowd surfing to the top where he is met by a peck
on the cheek by Lady Cleotheranus!
Peckleton, who has not stopped SLOW CLAPPING this entire time
approaches Rick to pay his respects.
But Rick isn’t done yet. In one fluid moment, Rick shits his
own pants, teleports the contents to Peckleton’s trousers,
then lurches forward pantsing Milkyway in front of the entire
stadium! Revealing the now-disgraced coach to have shit in
his pants!
The Smiths, high on everyone's shoulders <LAUGH>. But not

before Rick unveils one last surprise...
From his back pocket emerges Jerry’s salad tongs! Tossing

them, they are met mid-air by Jerry’s embracing flipper hand.
FREEZE FRAME: Jerry’s Victory.
SUPERIMPOSE: “Peckleton Milkyway would go on to publicly

commit suicide moments after. The game of Korpapoozillapoo
would never be allowed to be played ever again.”
END EPISODE

Rick and Morty Spec - Remorty The Titans - Final Draft

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Rick and Morty Spec - Remorty The Titans - Final Draft

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REMORTY THE TITANS

A Rick and Morty Spec Script

INT. MORTY’S HOUSE - FRONT HALLWAY - DAY

INT. MORTY’S HOUSE - GARAGE - CONTINUOUS

Jerry continues to rummage around. Opening cabinets and

He pulls open a drawer revealing Rick’s laptop, it’s suited

He flips it open and starts TYPING.

Jerry attempts to buy the tongs online, it becomes obvious

Growing more and more frustrated. He slams his fist down.

The walls of the garage BURST suddenly. A squad of ALIEN

"Remorty the Titans"

The family <GRUMBLES ANNOYED> at the inconvenience.

Rick smugly winks at MORTY.

Rick’s pants make PRINTER NOISES. A soldier rifles through

One reads “Are You Sure You Want To Fight In The

The soldiers all look around at each other. The commander

"Remorty the Titans"

EXT. PLANET KORPAPOOZILLAPOO

PUSH IN on a disc shaped planet with a massive dome at its

INT. PLANET KORPAPOOZILLAPOO - KORPAPOOZILLAPOO ARENA

CRANKLE FLAKE (CONT'D)

A metal, football shaped object with green spikes floats in

CRANKLE FLAKE (CONT'D)

A miniature black hole floats on either end of the field.

Crankle Flakes pats a wheel with different “terrain types”

CRANKLE FLAKE (CONT'D)

"Remorty the Titans"

The jumbotron displays last years tournament: A losing team

CRANKLE FLAKE (CONT'D)

The audience <OOHS>.

CRANKLE FLAKE (CONT'D)

The crowd <ERUPTS INTO CHEERS>.

Morty blinks. He turns to Rick.

"Remorty the Titans"

The family- Morty begrudgingly- touch hands and <CHEER>!

Crankle Flake comes over the speakers. Two official looking

CRANKLE FLAKE (O.S)

Rick shrugs his shoulders and walks towards the bench.

The family begins to <PROTEST>. Jerry looks thoughtfully at

Jerry straightens up, raising his hands.

The family ERUPTS into <PROTEST>.

"Remorty the Titans"

INT. KORPAPOOZILLAPOO ARENA - BENCH

Rick sits back in his seat, drinking from his flask

He sits up, sensing something. Behind him stands none other

INT. KORPAPOOZILLAPOO ARENA - FIELD - FLASHBACK

Rick’s former team, dressed like 80s basketball players, all

Peckleton looks up vengefully. Squeezing the poo in his fist.

PECKLETON MILKYWAY (V.O.)

The flashback continues with 80s Peckleton realizing the

"Remorty the Titans"

He tries to wipe it off on his jersey. Again, realizing now

INT. KORPAPOOZILLAPOO ARENA - BENCH

Peckleton slinks away. Rick maintains the same bored

INT. KORPAPOOZILLAPOO ARENA - FIELD

He removes a handful of sweatbands with Smith family logos

"Remorty the Titans"

A fat lumpy alien, the originally assigned coach, stands

The whole family, except Morty, <CHEERS>.

A COUNTDOWN counts from three. The Smiths look around

INT. KORPAPOOZILLAPOO ARENA - GAME ON!

Crankle Flake- who has progressively gotten more maniacal

CRANKLE FLAKE (O.S)