Jeremy Barry

Ms. Michko

AP Language and Composition

4 June 2023

James Baldwin Precis Revision Reflection

This was the most recent precis I have written although, there was definitely room for me

to improve it. The first change I made was making my first sentence a tad bit more specific. In

order to make it more specific, I switched out the rhetorical verb argue with contend. I felt as

contend made a lot more sense in this context and it was a lot more accurate, regarding what

James Baldwin was saying. Throughout this year, I have learned to read passages in a certain

way that allows me to think as a writer rather than as a reader which has ultimately helped me

become a better writer, and it is especially important when it comes to writing precises.

Furthermore, I also talked about how Baldwin placed an emphasis on participating in students'

lives, rather than just simply acknowledging their identities because, at the end of the day, he

does both. This made my first sentence more specific. For my second sentence, the issue was

pretty clear: I needed stronger verbs to phrase the rhetorical choices I identified and I needed to

set up some organizational structure. I replaced compare with “drawing a parallel” This phrase is

more sophisticated and sets up the rhetorical choice I identified earlier more sufficiently. On top

of replacing rhetorical verbs, I switched the order of the choices to match the order they were

developed in the article ultimately creating an organizational pattern within my precis itself. In

my third sentence, I needed to be more specific. Although I previously already identified the

nuanced purpose of Baldwin’s article, there was still work to be done. Originally I didn’t state

how Baldwin was attempting to create change but I switched to, identifying that the teachers had
the power to make this change, to ultimately unlock the potential of African-American students.

For my fourth and final sentence, I didn’t establish Baldwin’s credibility. To do this, I mentioned

that he himself is a teacher and his strategies as a teacher have proven to be successful. The

reader can infer that this success he has found as a teacher can be attributed to his strategies of

making a real difference in the students' life. All in all, reading this precis and reviewing it has

made me understand that not only have I improved substantially as a writer this year, I have also

improved as a thinker, especially when it comes to critically thinking about speeches, books, or

anything else written for a purpose.