Physical/Biological Relational/Familial Cultural

Dad’s face, eyebrows, etc. Cheating Conservative/Traditionalist

Mom’s eyes Socializing patterns environment. I sought out
Grandmother’s nose Tendency to create the same progressive/libertarian groups
world your parents created. to help me establish my
goals.

Individuality is affirmed by one’s agency to rationalize his being, but existence is vindicated
only by interactions with the physical dimensions of reality. For classic philosophers, the craft’s
objective was to establish the person’s sense of self and what makes a human being distinct,
whereas contemporary philosophers then looked to find the position of that same humanity in a
social context. The shift in trend argues what comes after the validation of one's consciousness,
which is understanding the degree of influence externalities hold toward a person and how the
person makes sense of these influences, ultimately calling for the assessment of one’s means of
actualizing their constructed identity.

As a boy whose deep-seated traumas were mostly brought about by a parental figure, I loathed
any form of association towards my father. Genetics proved to be my most irritating adversary
for the longest time. Almost every elderly stranger who had initiated a conversation with me
shared the same introduction: Aki ka ni Yzmael?, or “Anak ka ba ni Yzmael?”. The definitive
features of my face held so much resemblance to my father’s that I felt it was impossible for me
to escape his engagements with the world. This often irked me as back in my hometown, my
father never had the best reputation. In fact, as a child, the greatest burden I’ve had to shoulder
was perhaps to not end up as a man like my father. While family members tried their best to
persuade me that the path I would walk is only taken when the steps are made, they have also
treated me with an irrational cautiousness in fear of taking up after my dad. So every comment
on my eyebrows, my lips, and even the way I carried myself in public that claims a resemblance
to my dad in the slightest brings chills down my spine. To be compared to the object of my
trauma was almost routinary, but it was always a freshly annoying experience each time as well.
Perhaps the only feature which I inherited from my mother would be my eyes. This brought me
relief as a poetic highschool student when I met the common metaphor “the eyes are windows to
the soul”. At that time I was faintly convinced that I was not meant to follow in the footsteps of a
destructive individual, and that I was capable of nurturing people and relationships. Unlike my
parents’ marriage which ended up in an annulment back in 2011, I was optimistic of my capacity
to be able to give an appropriate form of love and be on the receiving end of it. Unfortunately the
following relationships in my life, both romantic or platonic, turned out rigid. Apparently,
external traits are not the only things passed down in the family.
The concept of socializing nuanced to the growth and development of children could be observed
in this scenario, for instance when an individual learns of a particular language, there becomes
both a tone and personality attached to it. When one employs the use of the said language, one
also wears the persona they’ve constructed to be speaking it. Such is the case for children who
grew up with specific stimuli and responses at home. On particular interactions with persons
outside the family, the child still subconsciously attempts to mold the relationship and
environment after the setup it had been raised with. In my personal experience therefore, I had no
better reference of what a functional or healthy relationship with a significant other looked like.
As a result, in my endeavors of working out a relationship with another person, I may have
translated some of the unhealthy habits or practices I’ve observed in my parents during my
childhood. While it can be argued that my exposure to the outside world could have served to be
a sufficient antithesis, the cognitive ability of a child to synthesize the contrast between realistic
relationships versus the overly romanticized portrayal in media would still be trivial at best. This
is where my lived experiences compensate for the gap between ideal relationships I’ve
constructed in my mind and imperfect ones which are often the starting point for any long-
standing relationship.

It is inevitable for any small and focused community to stagnate with its views and values, this is
why it is necessary for members of cliques to interact with entities who do not share the same
ones. Prolonged exposure to the same ideas, beliefs, and practices makes strata bound to become
echo chambers. This is because the same community can only reinforce those which are dictated
by tradition. There becomes no room to foster innovation and development. For example, having
grown in a traditionalist and conservatively religious household, I was inhibited from asking
questions regarding my faith. This meant that between me and my family, religious ideals were
non-negotiables. They were not up for clarifications, assessments, or the smallest discussions.
The last time I tried that, my grandmother accused me of having been “deluded by sin”. So little
boy Enryque had to resort to other sources, like religion teachers, priests, and dead philosophers.
My ventures on ethics turned out fruitful, some of my questions were given answers, and some
others led to even more questions. Regardless, I could not have been more grateful for the
experience, and for the realization that all my doubts were demystified due to the
accommodation of discourse. It was at that point wherein I realized that “home” was not a place
for growth, but a place to develop my self-awareness. What beliefs and biases did I develop,
were these grounded on truth and reality or were they baseless, which routines did I practice out
of religiosity or out of a habit. These are but the most superficial questions a post-pubescent
youth can begin to ask himself and find himself at a loss.

In the midst of all my ecclesiastical and ethical dilemmas, I could only conclude one thing: the
space where one is most comfortable in is a place for recollection, reorganization, and
reevaluation. Out there, where one puts his ideals and his essence to the test, is where one truly
lives. The inner being is as good as non-existent if the physicality does not manifest what it
contains. It is only when one sits at the table and plays his draw that the individual’s existence is
rectified by those that have come to meet his mettle.