10 .

the fine art of small talk

picking up a few groceries, to the account executive call-

ing a courier—buying decisions are all influenced by the
rapport that has been established with the other party.

GARNER BIG GAINS

W I T H A L I T T L E TA L K I N G

Effective managers use small talk at the front end of

a meeting to set the tone for discussion and to create a
bridge to more meaningful, and perhaps difficult, dia-
logue. Casual conversation and informal icebreakers offer
opportunities to build rapport, create a cohesive team,
and increase the chances of success.
By developing your conversation skills, you can even
improve communication with your children. You’ll rec-
ognize the most repeated question in parenting—How
was school?—as a conversation killer. You can avoid the
usual one-word response—Fine—and instead create a di-
alogue. Imagine, you may actually gain insight into what
they’re learning and who their friends are!
Small talk is no small thing. It’s a valuable personal
and professional thread that connects people. Appreciat-
ing the power of small talk is the first step. By recogniz-
ing its value, you’ll be more inclined to acquire the
 what’s the big deal about small talk? . 11

skills. If you thought small talk was all about becoming

a smooth-talking used-car salesperson, you were mis-
taken. Small talk is the verbal equivalent of that first
domino: It starts a chain reaction with all kinds of impli-
cations for your life.
This book is filled with techniques and hints to give
you the skills to enjoy the perks of quality conversation.
You won’t necessarily decide that you love networking
events or cocktail parties, but you will have the skills to
be successful at them. Like me, you may still prefer to stay
at home with a good book rather than attend an event
where you don’t know anyone. There’s no denying that it
takes effort to mingle at an open house when the room is
full of strangers. However, there’s also no denying that
there are plenty of events we’re expected to attend. So it
makes sense to maximize your opportunities, and im-
proved conversation skills will do just that. By the time
you finish this book, you’ll have the information and re-
sources at your disposal to make you a successful conver-
sationalist at any function. Improving your conversation
skills can enhance your leadership abilities, reduce your
anxiety in social situations, boost your confidence, lead
you to new friendships, and more. Before you know it,
you might actually enjoy making small talk!