How To Murder A Tune - Draft 4

THE SISTER BONIFACE MYSTERIES III
BLOCK 2, EPISODE 4
HOW TO MURDER A TUNE
Written by
Lisa McMullin
DRAFT 4
14/06/23
Words: 8951
FOR BUSINESS USE ONLY

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ii.
CAST LIST
MAIN ARTISTS
SR BONIFACE
SAM
FELIX
PEGGY
SEMI-REGULAR ARTISTS
SR PETER
SR REG
RM ADRIAN
MRS CLAM
MISS THIMBLE
GUEST ARTISTS
DONALD MERRIWEATHER
SYLVIA MELBURY
OLIVER POTTS
BARRY GOLD
MARION KANE
GUEST CHARACTER BIOGRAPHIES

DONALD MERRIWEATHER (40s)
The narcissistic and overbearing Musical Director - originator of
the show and famous for composing the hymn which is the show’s theme
tune. He has a history of bullying and coersion in order to get his
own way. A complete control obsessive - in work AND personal
relationships. He doesn't understand the difference between love and
obsessive possession. His need to dictate and have power over the
show and everyone involved will lead directly to his untimely death.
OLIVER POTTS (20s)
Finalist in the Chorister of the Year competition. Desperate to win
the competition for the prize money, the acclaim and the musical
opportunities it will offer. On the surface Oliver is a HUGE fan of
Donald Merriweather but they do say ‘never meet your heroes’. The
more Oliver sees Donald lavishing praise on his rival finalist, the
less convinced he is that this is a fair competition. Did Donald’s
overt favoritism cause Oliver to snap? In reality - Oliver's mother
knew Donald as a student. They'd dated and Donald had set about
ruining her life when she broke up with him. Oliver had discovered
that Donald was the root cause of the depression that eventually
killed his mother and decided to take his revenge - and stop
Donald's manipulative control once and for all.
SYLVIA MELBURY (20s)
Finalist in the Chorister of the Year competition. Shy Sylvia only
entered the competition because Donald persuaded her to. She saw it
as a way of escaping a domineering father and Donald has been
iii.
secretly grooming her for stardom. But she has come to realise that
Donald is just as controlling as her father was and now, she wants
to escape him, too. Did Sylvia kill Donald to escape his coercive
control?
BARRY GOLD (40s)
The host with the most (ex-popular singing sensation) Barry has been
on Glory Be! since the beginning – he and Donald launched the series
together. He also topped the charts back in the day and it’s his
voice singing the hymn - the theme music to Glory Be! The royalties
and residuals are a cash cow and he’s banking on them for his
retirement since he’s frittered his money away on wine, women and
song. When he discovered that Donald had recorded a new version of
the show’s theme tune with Sylvia, did he fear he was about to be
usurped? And did he kill Donald before he was overthrown and
deprived of his financial security?
MARION KANE (30s)
The new director of the show. Marion is dynamic and driven with an
amazing career ahead – she’s got her sights set on high octane telly
once she moves on from the gentle Sunday teatime vibe of Glory Be!
But first she needs to stop this show from being axed – viewing
figures are faltering and this series could be the last. Marion’s
Achille’s heel is that she’s an unmarried mother – which would not
go down well with their producers – or their religious audience.
Donald discovered her secret and is threatening to take to the
producers. Did Marion kill Donald to stop scandal from ruining her
career?
LOCATIONS
INT. ST ELSEWHERE’S CHURCH
INT. ST VINCENT’S CHAPEL
INT. RM ADRIAN’S BEDROOM
INT. ST VINCENT’S CONVENT. LABORATORY.
INT. ST VINCENT’S CONVENT. RM ADRIAN’S OFFICE
INT. O.B TRUCK INT.
ST VINCENT’S CHAPEL – COFFEE ROOM EXT.
ST VINCENT’S/GARDEN EXT. STREET – GREAT SLAUGHTER
EXT. ST VINCENT'S CONVENT INT.
DONALD’S HOTEL ROOM INT.
SYLVIA’S HOTEL ROOM INT.
OLIVER’S HOTEL ROOM
INT. BARRY’S HOTEL ROOM
INT. HOTEL CORRIDOR
INT. POLICE STATION. DESK
INT. POLICE STATION. INTERVIEW ROOM.
EPISODE 4 - HOW TO MURDER A TUNE - DRAFT 4
14/06/23
EP4/SC1. INT. ST ELSEWHERE’S CHURCH. DAY 0. 19:00

BARRY
In black and white:
BARRY (40s, cheesy, every housewife’s choice) beams into the
camera as the Glory Be! theme music strikes up –
BARRY
That’s all for this week here on
Glory Be! We’ll see you next Sunday
- live from St Vincent’s Convent in
Great Slaughter - to bring you the
final of the Chorister of the Year
competition. Until then...
BARRY croons down the camera lens -
BARRY (CONT'D)
(singing)
Glory! Glory!
SMASH CUT TO:
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EP4/SC2. INT. ST VINCENT'S CONVENT. CHAPEL. DAY 1. 08:07

SR BONIFACE, RM ADRIAN, SR PETER, SR REG
NSE NUNS
The St Vincent’s convent choir stand – military-like - to
attention as -
RM ADRIAN
(frustrated)
Glory be! Stiffen your wimples and
summon up the blood! We have less
than forty eight hours until the
eyes of the entire country AND the
Archbishop – are upon us.
SR PETER’s excitement cannot be quenched but SR REG rolls her
eyes so hard it’s a wonder she doesn’t knock herself out. SR
BONIFACE nudges her.
RM ADRIAN (CONT'D)
If we give anything less than a
heavenly performance I will never
live it down.
SR REG snorts. RM ADRIAN shoots daggers.
RM ADRIAN (CONT'D)
We. We will never live it down.
SR PETER
Oh crumbs.
RM ADRIAN
Now raise the rafters or, so help
me, I will raise you through the
roof!
She raises her arms - conductor-like - to bring them in and

the choir (with the exception of SRs BONIFACE and REG who
sing loudly - though in REG’s case, terribly) squeak their
petrified way through -
CHOIR
(singing)
Morning has brooooo-ken! Like the
first moooooor-ning! Blackbird has
spoooooo-ken!
RM ADRIAN blows a gasket - and a whistle.
RM ADRIAN
Stop! Stop! Stop this caterwauling!
This choir will be the death of me!
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And she promptly keels over. SRs BONIFACE, PETER, AND REG’s
jaws drop.
CUT TO: TITLES
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EP4/SC3. INT. ST VINCENT'S. RM ADRIAN’S CELL. DAY 1. 09:02

SR BONIFACE, RM ADRIAN, SR PETER, SR REG
RM ADRIAN in bed – cold compress on head – as SR PETER & SR
REG anxiously await instructions.
RM ADRIAN
This is the worst possible time for
a migraine. My last one lasted a
week.
SR REG
Who’s going to take charge of the
choir?
RM ADRIAN
Technically - Sister Peter is
second in command.
SR PETER quakes -
RM ADRIAN (CONT'D)
Although I’m not entirely sure you
could run a bath, let alone a
rehearsal.
Before SR PETER can protest, SR BONIFACE hurtles through the

door - giddy -
SR BONIFACE
The television crew have arrived!
RM ADRIAN winces.
RM ADRIAN
Take charge, Sister Peter.
SR PETER
Right.
RM ADRIAN
I shall pray for you. I suspect you
will need all the Divine
Intervention you can get.
On SR PETER - terrified.
CUT TO:
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EP4/SC4. EXT. ST VINCENT'S CONVENT. DAY 1. 09:10

FELIX, PEGGY, SYLVIA, MRS CLAM, OLIVER, DONALD, MARION, BARRY
NSE TV CREW
An over-excited MRS CLAM and a FELIX bursting-with-excitement-
on-the-inside, watch the NSE TV CREW unload equipment.
MRS CLAM
Oh my. This is most thrilling.
PEGGY (OOV)
Sarge!
PEGGY hurries over.
PEGGY (CONT'D)
(to FELIX)
What happened to ‘meet me early at
the station to go through the duty
rota’?
She eyes the truck emblazoned with GLORY BE!
PEGGY (CONT'D)
Oh, the hymn-singing programme.
(to FELIX)
Didn’t have you down as a fan.
MRS CLAM
Sergeant Livingstone and I watch
every Sunday.
FELIX grimaces at PEGGY as if to say ‘under duress’.
MRS CLAM (CONT'D)

There’s Barry! Barry!
She comes over all ‘Beatle-mania’ or rather ‘Barry-mania’ as

BARRY approaches the chapel.
PEGGY
He’s the presenter, right? He had a
number one hit single at Christmas.
BARRY waves at them and disappears into the chapel as DONALD

(40s, controlling, egotistical) and MARION (30s, dynamic,
driven) follow him -
MARION
(pointed)
You see, Donald? Barry’s the star
of the show. He needs more air time
not less.
DONALD gives MARION such a glare.
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DONALD
(threatening)
Be careful, Marion.
FELIX
That must be Marion Kane - the
director.
PEGGY
Who’s the man she’s talking to?
MRS CLAM
Donald Merriweather. The show’s
musical director. He plays the
organ. And he wrote the theme tune.
He’s head judge of the Chorister of
the Year competition - oh, there’s
Sylvia - and Oliver!
SYLVIA (20s, shy and thoughtful) and OLIVER (20s, faux
confidence and vanity, but vulnerable underneath) glance
towards MRS CLAM and co.
OLIVER
Wave to the fans.
SYLVIA gives an awkward little wave as OLIVER runs his hands
through his hair and winks at a goggling PEGGY – who
practically swoons.
PEGGY
(to Felix)
Who is that?
MRS CLAM
Oliver’s one of the finalists in
the competition.
PEGGY
Well, he’s got my vote.
Which earns her a disapproving look from MRS CLAM.
MRS CLAM
Felix and I would prefer Sylvia to
win.
PEGGY
(amused)
Is that right, Felix?
FELIX
I - really don’t mind.
MRS CLAM
She has the voice of an angel.
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SYLVIA looks like she might faint – as DONALD takes

possession of her arm -
DONALD
(to SYLVIA)
At least look like you’re happy to
be here.
SYLVIA forces a smile at FELIX - who smiles awkwardly back.
CUT TO:
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SR BONIFACE, MRS CLAM, MISS THIMBLE, SR PETER, BARRY, DONALD,
OLIVER, MARION
NSE CREW
MRS CLAM simpers and gazes adoringly at a slightly alarmed
BARRY as she and MISS THIMBLE perform the handbells to him –
or rather AT him.
MRS CLAM
It’s the theme tune to Glory Be!
Is it?
MISS THIMBLE
We’ve been practising.
She lets rip with an extraordinarily improvisational riff.
BARRY
I don’t think I’ve ever heard bells
jingled quite so - fervently.
MRS CLAM gives one final tinkle.
MRS CLAM
Ding!
They’re interrupted by a crash over the other side of the
chapel where the convent choir has assembled to rehearse.
A boom has knocked over a statue of the Virgin Mary. As a
flustered SR PETER rushes over, MARION hurries to help.
SR PETER
Please be careful of the statues.
She scurries back to the choir - who wait, agitated and
nervy, rustling and dropping their hymn sheets.
SR PETER (CONT'D)
(to herself)
Take charge.
As SR BONIFACE bowls in -
SR PETER (CONT'D)
Oh, there you are. Thank goodness.
You’re the only one with any
volume.
SR BONIFACE
Nonsense. Sister Reg has volume in
spades!
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SR PETER
(whispering)
You’re the only one with volume and
tune. I need the others to follow
your lead.
SR BONIFACE
Be Not Afraid!
SR PETER blinks.
SR BONIFACE (CONT'D)
The opening hymn! Shall we?
SR PETER
Oh, yes.
She rifles through her sheet music as SR BONIFACE beams at
MARION -
SR BONIFACE
(to MARION)
Welcome to St Vincent’s. When we
say we’ll be there with bells on -
we jolly well mean it.
She nods to where MRS CLAM is carefully polishing her bells,

as DONALD barrels in, followed by SYLVIA and OLIVER.
DONALD
(about Mrs Clam)
Can we get the cleaning lady out of
here? We need to set up.
MRS CLAM bristles. BARRY bows -
BARRY
Do excuse us, ladies.
He follows after DONALD, passing OLIVER and SYLVIA who have

paused near the choir singing VERY timidly and faintly (apart
from REG and BONIFACE) -
CHOIR
Be nooooot afraid. I go before you
always.
Under the nervous conducting of SR PETER. OLIVER and SYLVIA

exchange a worried wince as MARION hurries over -
MARION
(to SR PETER)
Sorry - excuse me -
The choir trails off to a whimper.
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MARION (CONT'D)
(to the nuns)
Tomorrow is a big day. Last show in
the series - the live final of the
Chorister of the Year contest.
SR PETER and her choir look TERRIFIED.
MARION (CONT'D)
(to SR REG)
Do you think you could mime? Sorry.
(to SR PETER)
I think she’s putting the others
off.
(to SR BONIFACE)
You’re very good. Sing up.
DONALD interrupts as he makes his way over -
DONALD
Pardon me interrupting, Lady
Director -
MARION tenses -
DONALD (CONT'D)
But shall we cut to the chase? The
running order of the show is as
follows: Barry will warble through
the opening theme tune -
BARRY catches this and bristles.
DONALD (CONT'D)
- then the choristers will perform
their solo pieces - the judges will
deliberate - that’s myself, Barry
and Marion - whilst the convent
choir assault our ear drums -
SR PETER and choir tremble.

DONALD (CONT'D)
- and at the end of the live
broadcast the Chorister of the Year
will be crowned.
(to Marion, under his
breath)
I want to rehearse the solos first.
Can you get the cat’s choir out of
here.
A nod to the nuns.
MARION
(to SR PETER)
Sorry - do you mind?
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The nuns depart noisily as DONALD heads over to the crew -

DONALD
And you lot clear off for an hour.
I can’t concentrate with you
clattering about the place.
The NSE CREW disperse as OLIVER approaches DONALD -
OLIVER
Donald -
OLIVER runs his fingers, nervously, through his immaculately
coiffured hair.
DONALD
Not now, Oliver. Where’s Sylvia
gone?
Donald strides off -
DONALD (CONT'D)
(shouting)
Sylvia!
Leaving OLIVER crestfallen.
CUT TO:
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EP4/SC6. EXT. ST VINCENT'S CONVENT. GARDEN. DAY 1. 09:20

SR PETER, RM ADRIAN, SYLVIA, DONALD (OOV)
NSE NUNS
Heads down, each lost in their own anxieties, SYLVIA and SR
PETER almost collide.
SR PETER
Oh my goodness -
SYLVIA
I’m so sorry -
SR PETER
No, I’m sorry -
SYLVIA
No, it was entirely my fault. I
wasn’t at all looking where I was
going.
SR PETER
Ready for the live final?
SYLVIA
I’m not sure, to be honest.
SR PETER
Me either. Did you hear us?
A sympathetic grimace.
SR PETER (CONT'D)
I’m really not cut out for
leadership. I took the veil for a
quiet life.
She glances up to see the RM ADRIAN scowling down at her from

her bedroom window – a gesture to SR PETER - what’s
happening? SR PETER sighs.
SR PETER (CONT'D)
(to SYLVIA)
Excuse me. I need to find us
somewhere to rehearse.
She hurries over to where the NSE NUNS have gathered -
SR PETER (CONT'D)
(calling)
Sisters! Sisters, can you listen?!
SYLVIA watches her go - a half-smile until -
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DONALD (OOV)
(bellowing)
Sylvia!
And the smile drops.
CUT TO:
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EP4/SC7. INT. OUTSIDE BROADCAST TRUCK. DAY 1. 09:24

MARION, DONALD
MARION is on the phone, despairing over an important-looking
piece of paper -
MARION
(into the phone)
I’m looking at the figures, now.
- as DONALD barges in -
DONALD
Where is Sylvia?
MARION doesn’t look up -
MARION
(into the phone)
I’ll have to call you back.
She hangs up and turns to Donald -
MARION (CONT'D)
Would you mind not referring to me
as ‘lady director’?
DONALD
I’ll call you whatever I like. Who
was that?
She waves the piece of paper at him -
MARION
The viewing figures for the series.
Unless we can somehow pull off a
miracle, tomorrow, we’ll be lucky
to have a job this time next week.
DONALD
Not me, sweetheart. I’m the one
pulling the strings. And you -
would do well to remember that.
On MARION - fear and fury jostle for position.
This scene continues later as Sc33.
CUT TO:
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EP4/SC8. INT. ST VINCENT'S CONVENT. DRESSING AREA. DAY 1.

09:32
SYLVIA, OLIVER
One of the rooms at the convent is now a make-shift dressing
room - make-up tables, mirrors, rails of clothing.
Sylvia’s table is sparse - a hairbrush and some hairpins.
Oliver’s overflows with beauty products, good luck cards,
flowers, a photo of his mum.
They’re singing scales to warm up. As they do -
SYLVIA watches as OLIVER preens himself in a mirror – running
his fingers through his hair. He catches her looking and
grins -
OLIVER
I know! I know! It’s Glory Be! Not
Top of the Pops! But gotta give the
public what they want.
But SYLVIA’s subdued -
OLIVER (CONT'D)
Cheer up - it’s nearly over. Once
more with feeling and all that.
SYLVIA
It’s nearly over for you, maybe.
OLIVER drops the light-hearted tone - suddenly serious -
OLIVER
He doesn’t own you.
SYLVIA gives a sad little laugh.
OLIVER (CONT'D)
He doesn’t. Just get through
tomorrow and then you never have to
see him again.
SYLVIA
It’s not that simple.
On SYLVIA - a sad smile.
CUT TO:
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BARRY, SYLVIA, OLIVER, MARION, DONALD
MARION directs -
MARION
First positions, then -
DONALD takes up position at the organ. He downs his own cup
of tea - which he’d left beside the organ - and sits poised
at the keys.
BARRY takes centre stage in front of the altar, as a cowed
SYLVIA and a glowering OLIVER find their spots equidistant
from BARRY.
MARION (CONT'D)
Ready for rehearsal? Imagine the
cameras are rolling - and cue
music!
The Glory Be! theme tune rings out from the organ with gusto.
BARRY steps forward to sing – then -
At the organ, DONALD freezes - stricken - gurgles - and falls

face first onto the keys.
CLAAAAAANG!
MARION races over. DONALD’S face is grotesque – eyes bulging

– foam trickling from his mouth - dead.
CUT TO:
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SR BONIFACE, SAM, FELIX, PEGGY, DONALD (DEAD)
SR BONIFACE photographs the body slumped over the keyboard –
SR BONIFACE
Going by the distorted facial
expression and the foaming mouth -
this doesn’t look like natural
causes.
SR PETER hovers anxiously in the background -
SR PETER
Oh my. How on earth am I going to
tell Reverend Mother Adrian?
SR BONIFACE
I must say, it is most unsettling
to be starting an investigation in
our own chapel.
As she’s taking photographs, SR BONIFACE spots a greasy
residue on the organ.
She puts the camera down and swabs it.
SAM
What is that?
SR BONIFACE
Some sort of resin or oil, perhaps?
She bags it, then takes another swab and carefully dabs at
DONALD’s mouth.
I’d say Donald Merriweather
ingested some sort of poison.
SR PETER
(a squeak)
Murder? In St Vincent’s?
Everybody’s eyes go to the teacup and biscuit, as PEGGY

appears -
PEGGY
Everybody else who had the tea and
biscuits is fine. Donald’s the only
one who left his unattended.
SAM
(to FELIX)
Let’s take them for analysis.
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FELIX covers the teacup carefully and puts the biscuit in a

container.
BONIFACE examines DONALD’s tie.
SR BONIFACE
The St Aquilina's college tie!
That’s the music school my sister
attended. She has a pin badge with
the very same emblem.
FELIX
We should take a look at his hotel
room. The Glory Be production team
is staying in Great Slaughter for
the weekend.
SAM
Who else from the production was in
here when he died?
FELIX
Only the presenter, the director,
and the Chorister of the Year
finalists.
SAM
Alright. Let’s talk to them.
On SAM - grim-faced.
CUT TO:
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EP4/SC11. INT. ST VINCENT'S CONVENT. DRESSING AREA. DAY 1.

11:15
SAM, PEGGY, BARRY, SYLVIA, MARION, OLIVER
A shell-shocked MARION, BARRY, OLIVER and SYLVIA.
SYLVIA
Poisoned?
SAM
Can you think of any reason
somebody might have wanted to kill
him?
MARION
The man was a narcissist and a
bully. There are plenty of people
who won’t be distraught that he’s
dead.
PEGGY
So plenty of people with motives?
She looks to Sam - oh, great.
CUT TO:
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EP4/SC12. INT. ST VINCENT'S CONVENT. RM ADRIAN’S OFFICE. DAY

1. 11:45
MRS CLAM, MISS THIMBLE, SR PETER, MARION, BARRY
MARION sits at the RM Adrian’s desk - highly stressed - on
the telephone -
MARION
(hushed)
Please. I need to speak to him. I
haven’t got long.
The door opens as BARRY enters and MARION slams the phone
down.
BARRY
There you are!
He clocks her flustered face -
BARRY (CONT'D)
Who was that?
MARION
(lying)
The producers.
BARRY
Really?
MARION
This could well be the end for
Glory Be!
BARRY
(flippant)
It’s not looking good for Donald,
either.
MARION
(disapproving)
Barry! It’s not funny. A man is
dead and so are both our careers.
BARRY
(a la Hamlet)
Then get we to a nunnery!
As SR PETER walks in –
MARION
(to SR PETER)
We’re going to have to call off
tomorrow’s broadcast.
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BARRY
Because Donald’s dead? Nonsense! He
would want the show to go on.
Preferably in his honour.
MARION
Yes but we don’t have an organist.
BARRY
The convent must have somebody who
plays.
SR PETER sits down before she falls down.
SR PETER
That would be Sister Paul. But
there’s no guarantee she’ll hit all
the right notes - at least not in
the right order.
A rap at the door. MARION and BARRY look to SR PETER - it’s
her office, yes? But SR PETER is too busy worrying so -
MARION
Come in!
An excitable MRS CLAM hurries in – with a baffled MISS
THIMBLE in tow.
MRS CLAM
Look who I’ve brought to save the
day!
MISS THIMBLE gives an awkward little curtsey.
MISS THIMBLE
Why am I here?
MRS CLAM
Would you believe that our very own
Miss Thimble has run her fingers
over many an organ?
They wouldn’t. No. But SR PETER senses a flicker of hope.
CUT TO:
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EP4/SC13. INT. HOTEL. DONALD’S ROOM. DAY 1. 11:47

SR BONIFACE, SAM
A fancy affair. Four poster bed and luxury.
SAM
Is this the honeymoon suite? Why
would a confirmed bachelor want the
honeymoon suite?
SR BONIFACE
Because it’s the biggest? He
travelled with a LOT of luggage -
clothes, recording equipment - and -
She looks through a large box -
Fan mail! Good heavens!
SR BONIFACE pulls on cotton gloves and reads one of the

letters -
Good grief. Listen to this -
(reading)
“Not everyone will dance to your
tune, Merriweather.”
SAM
Doesn’t sound like much of a fan.
Who sent it?
SR BONIFACE
Anonymous.
SAM
Then we’d better take those letters
with us.
SAM picks up a cassette - with the tape unravelled from it.
SAM (CONT'D)
What’s this?
SR BONIFACE
Oh my! A cassette tape!
(excited)
Electromagnetic recording! I shall
have a jolly good go at trying to
salvage it.
She takes the tape from him and SAM opens the bedside drawer.
He pulls out -
A small ring box. Inside -
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SAM
An engagement ring? Was Donald
about to propose?
SR BONIFACE
How romantic.
SAM
If he wasn’t dead.
SAM notices a connecting door and tries the handle - it
opens.
CUT TO:
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EP4/SC14. INT. HOTEL. SYLVIA’S ROOM. DAY 1. 11:48

SR BONIFACE, SAM
SAM steps into the room, followed by SR BONIFACE who opens
the wardrobe - a row of dresses.
SR BONIFACE
How pretty.
SAM looks through them -
SAM
They’re Sylvia’s. They’re the
outfits she’s been wearing on Glory
Be!
(beat)
And I have clearly been spending
too many Sunday evenings in with
Mrs Clam and Felix.
SR BONIFACE
Adjoining rooms - connecting doors -
an engagement ring. Do you suppose
Sylvia and Donald were romantically
involved?
SMASH CUT TO:
24
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EP4/SC15. INT. ST VINCENT’S CONVENT. REVEREND MOTHER’S

OFFICE. DAY 1. 12:15
SR BONIFACE, SAM, SYLVIA
SYLVIA sits - staring at the engagement ring - looking like
she may faint.
SYLVIA
He was going to propose? I’d never
have escaped.
SAM and SR BONIFACE exchange a look.
SR BONIFACE
Escaped?
SYLVIA
Him.
SAM
Did the producers of Glory Be know
that one of the judges was in love
with one of the contestants?
SYLVIA
Love? I’m not sure that’s what I’d
call it.
SR BONIFACE
How did you two meet?
SYLVIA
Donald heard me singing in the
congregation one Sunday - they were
recording the show in my parish
church. He flattered me. He offered
me private lessons.
SAM
I bet he did.
SYLVIA
It wasn’t like that! At first. He
said I should enter the chorister
competition. I thought it would be
a chance to get away.
SR BONIFACE
Away from what?
SYLVIA
Home. But once Donald had got me
away from my family he wanted me
all to himself. He never let me out
of his sight. He took control of
everything. Where I went, who I saw
- even what I wore ...
25
14/06/23
INSERT FLASHBACK: SC16 - Sylvia expresses doubts to Donald.

SYLVIA stares at the table - unable to look SAM or SR
BONIFACE in the eye. Ashamed.
SYLVIA (CONT'D)
I thought he was my way out - my
father’s a bully - I dreamed my
whole life of getting away - but I
ended up wanting to get away from
Donald, too.
SAM
Perhaps you thought there was only
one way to escape his control?
SYLVIA
No! I could never! Is that what you
think? Am I under arrest?
SAM
No. At least - not yet. But we may
want to talk to you again. Make
sure you don’t go anywhere.
SYLVIA
I don’t have anywhere to go.
On Sylvia - completely and utterly dejected.
CUT TO:
26
14/06/23
EP4/SC16. INT. HOTEL. SYLVIA'S ROOM. DAY 1. 07:22 [FLASHBACK]

DONALD, SYLVIA
SYLVIA wriggles into a dress as DONALD nods appreciatively.
He does up the zip and gestures for her to twirl.
DONALD
Movie star looks and the voice of
an angel. I will make you a star.
SYLVIA
I’ve been thinking.
DONALD
Oh no. We can’t have that.
SYLVIA
I’m not entirely sure I want to be
a star. All I really want to do
is... [sing].
DONALD
(cold)
If I say you’ll be a star, you’ll
be a star.
SYLVIA swallows down her fear, trembling.
SYLVIA
I might not even win the
competition.
DONALD grips her slightly - caresses her -
DONALD
Oh, you’ll win. I’ll make sure of
it. You’re my muse.
He kisses her and SYLVIA tolerates it. Terrified to do
anything else.
CUT TO:
27
14/06/23
EP4/SC17. INT. ST VINCENT'S CONVENT. SR BONIFACE’S LAB. DAY

1. 15:05
SR BONIFACE, SAM, FELIX
SR BONIFACE stands like a science teacher before her pupils -
SAM and FELIX.
BONIFACE
I’ve identified the poison!
She picks up a cotton swab and shows them -
SR BONIFACE
This is a swab I took from Donald’s
saliva. If I mash it in some water
- and add iron sulphate - hey
presto!
The liquid turns bright blue.
Prussian Blue! Cyanide! Fast-acting
and extremely effective. The Queen
of poisons!
SAM
When you say ‘fast-acting’?
SR BONIFACE
The poison must have been
administered mere moments before he
died.
SAM
Which narrows our suspects down to
the four people in the chapel with
him at the time.
SR BONIFACE
But!
SAM
There’s always a but.
SR BONIFACE
Donald’s tea and biscuits tested
negative for any toxins. Which
means Donald must have ingested the
poison another way.
FELIX
How?
SR BONIFACE
That - I haven’t worked out, yet.
28
14/06/23
FELIX
What happened to the cassette tape
you found in Donald’s room?
SR BONIFACE
Too tangled for me to untie. Peggy
knows a chap at a recording studio
who’s having a look.
She clocks the clock.
Oh, heavens! I’m meant to be
rehearsing!
She dashes off.

CUT TO:
29
14/06/23

SR PETER, SR REG, SYLVIA
SYLVIA stands at a microphone set up for the broadcast.
SYLVIA
(singing)
Ave Maria. Gratia plena.
Maria gratia plena.
She becomes emotional and falters – but another voice joins
hers in the hymn.
SR PETER (OOV)
(singing)
Maria gratia plena.
SR PETER walks down the aisle towards her..
SR PETER (CONT'D)
(singing)
Ave ave Dominus. Dominus tecum.
SYLVIA
I didn’t realise anyone else was
here.
SR PETER
You have a beautiful voice. A gift
from God.
She sits down in a pew and SYLVIA joins her.
SYLVIA
I used to have such a love of
singing. All the joy has gone out
of it, now.
SR PETER
Oh, I know how that feels. The
Reverend Mother rather squishes the
fun out of it. Now, I’ve got a
choir who are terrified of their
own voices.
SYLVIA
I envy your way of life. It must be
so peaceful.
SR PETER
Usually.
SYLVIA
I only ever really wanted to sing
for God – that’s what gives me real
pleasure. That’s what brings me
joy.
30
14/06/23
SR PETER
We need to find the joy again, that
might give us confidence.
SYLVIA
Where did you find the greatest
pleasure in singing?
SR PETER lights up -
SR PETER
Oh, family Christmases! Carols
around the piano.
(beat)
I wonder...
SR REG (OOV)
Thought I heard voices.
SR REG approaches - followed by assorted nuns.
SR PETER
Sister Reg - can you think of
anywhere with a piano we might use
for a choir rehearsal?
SR REG’s face lights up - she knows JUST the place.
CUT TO:
31
14/06/23
EP4/SC19. INT. ST VINCENT’S CONVENT. RM ADRIAN'S CELL. DAY 1.

15:15
SR PETER, RM ADRIAN
SR PETER hovers in the doorway - anxious.
RM ADRIAN lies, eyes closed, in semi-darkness. Without
opening her eyes -
RM ADRIAN
Come in, Sister Peter.
SR PETER
How did - ?
RM ADRIAN
I heard your knees knocking. What
do you want?
SR PETER
Two things - one: there’s been a
slight murder in the chapel.
RM ADRIAN opens an alarmed eye -
RM ADRIAN
There’s been a what?!
SR PETER
And two - we’re all going out for
the evening.
RM ADRIAN’s second eye opens.
SR PETER (CONT'D)
But everything’s under control.
She flees.
CUT TO:
32
14/06/23
EP4/SC20. INT. PUB. DAY 1. 17:06

SR BONIFACE, SAM, SR PETER, SR REG, SAM, MRS CLAM, MISS
THIMBLE, SYLVIA, MARION, BARRY
NSE NUNS, NSE PUB STAFF, NSE CUSTOMERS
We go into the pub and -
Reveal the convent choir gathers, bemused, around the piano –
MISS THIMBLE at the keys, MRS CLAM with her handbells, SR REG
with a pint - which she raises to herself -
SR REG
Nice one, Reg.
- As SR PETER struggles -
SR PETER
Can I have everyone’s attention?
The short answer to that is no. Some of the nuns have
wandered off to the bar, some are playing darts.
As SR PETER casts about - SYLVIA gives her a friendly
squeeze.
SYLVIA
We’re here to have fun, remember.
MRS CLAM
What’s it to be? Jerusalem? Morning
Has Broken?
SR PETER
Something - fun.
SR REG whispers in SR PETER’s ear. She starts but then
whispers in MISS THIMBLE’s ear -
MISS THIMBLE
Really? Goodness.
- And - to MRS CLAM’s horror - MISS THIMBLE lets rip on the
piano with an old school classic – Knees Up Mother Brown.
SR PETER catches SYLVIA’s eye - solidarity.
SR PETER/SYLVIA
(singing)
Knees up Mother Brown! Knees up
Mother Brown!
And NOW they have everyone’s attention.
The choir flocks around the piano - the singing swells. And
so does SR PETER - a little.
33
14/06/23
In a corner, MARION and BARRY nurse a couple of drinks - an

evening newspaper in front of them with the headline:
GORY BE! Murder signals the end for failing TV show!
MARION
Maybe with Donald gone we can shake
the show up a bit.
BARRY
Drag it kicking and screaming into
the swinging sixties? Hallelujah!
MARION looks to the nuns -
MARION
We could take a leaf out of their
hymn book.
Her eye drifts to SAM, having a beer at the bar - and watches
as the NSE BARMAID beckons SAM to take a phone call.
Meanwhile - MRS CLAM is quite getting the hang of Knees Up
Mother Brown on the handbells.
SAM puts the phone down, grabs his jacket and rushes to the
door - waving to SR BONIFACE to come, too.
SAM
We’ve got something.
SR BONIFACE dashes off after him.
CUT TO:
34
14/06/23
EP4/SC21. INT. POLICE STATION. SAM AND FELIX’S OFFICE. DAY 1.

17:42
SR BONIFACE, SAM, FELIX, PEGGY
The box of Donald’s fan mail has been sorted on the table.
PEGGY
We sorted the mail according to
senders. Some fans had written more
than once.
She darts a look at FELIX. The other two clock it.
SAM
No?
FELIX
Thank you, Peggy.
SAM
Which is Felix’s?
FELIX
In my defence I was requesting an
autograph for Mrs Clam.
PEGGY
Three times.
PEGGY picks up one of the letters -
PEGGY (CONT'D)
Putting the fan in fanatic.
FELIX opens it -
FELIX
(reading)
Dear Mr Merriweather. You have made
my life a misery. And you should
know that actions have
consequences. Not everyone will
dance to your tune, Donald. And one
day - even you will be silenced.
SAM
Definitely threatening.
SR BONIFACE takes the letter and studies it.
SR BONIFACE
Hmm.
She has an idea.
CUT TO:
35
14/06/23

SR BONIFACE, SAM, MARION
SR BONIFACE and SAM wait as MARION rummages through a
cardboard folder and pulls out a wad of forms -
MARION
Personal Information Forms.
Everyone has to fill one out when
they join the show - in whatever
capacity.
SR BONIFACE
(to SAM)
Handwriting samples.
MARION
Barry - Oliver - Sylvia -
She hands over three forms.
SR BONIFACE
And your own, if you don’t mind.
MARION locates that one too and reluctantly hands it over.
MARION
What do you need them for?
SR BONIFACE spreads the forms out and compares them to
Donald’s fan letter.
MARION (CONT'D)
What is that?
SR BONIFACE seizes on one of the forms -
SR BONIFACE
Aha!
SAM
A match?
SR BONIFACE
Yes, indeed. Look - in both
examples the graphology is
identical. The person who wrote
this letter is the same person who
filled out this form.
SAM
So, who is it?
On SAM - anticipation.
CUT TO:
36
14/06/23
EP4/SC23. INT. HOTEL. OLIVER’S ROOM. DAY 1. 19:13

SR BONIFACE, SAM, OLIVER
OLIVER primps and preens, anxiously, in front of the mirror
as SR BONIFACE and SAM question him.
SR BONIFACE reads from the fan letter -
BONIFACE
(reading)
‘One day even you will be
silenced.’
SAM
That sounds like a threat to me.
OLIVER doesn’t take his eyes off his own image.
OLIVER
I was being poetic.
SAM
Poetic?
OLIVER
One day we’ll all be silenced. When
God claims us for his own.
He glances in the mirror at SR BONIFACE -
SAM
Somehow, I don’t think that’s what
you meant.
SR BONIFACE
Why do you say that Donald made
your life a misery?
OLIVER turns to face them -
OLIVER
Because he did ...
INSERT FLASHBACK SC24 HERE - Donald rounds on Oliver &
threatens him.
OLIVER runs his hands, nervously, through his hair -
SAM
Did you kill Donald because you
thought it was the only way you
could win the competition?
OLIVER
Of course not! I couldn’t even
confront him, let alone kill him.
I’m a coward but I’m not a killer.
37
14/06/23
SR BONIFACE and SAM exchange a look. OLIVER’s convincing.

OLIVER (CONT'D)
And if you’re not going to arrest
me, I’d quite to see what Great
Slaughter’s night life has to
offer.
CUT TO:
38
14/06/23
EP4/SC24. INT. CHAPEL. DAY 1. 10:15 [FLASHBACK]

DONALD, OLIVER
OLIVER accosts DONALD near the altar -
OLIVER
Donald - please - I need to talk
to you.
Donald rounds on Oliver.
DONALD
What now?
OLIVER
I just - Sylvia gets so much of
your attention - I’m not sure it’s
entirely - well - fair.
DONALD
Worried about the competition, are
you? Worried that your matinee idol
looks won’t swing it for you? Well,
you should be worried. Because
there’s only one contender for
Chorister of the Year as far as I’m
concerned. And it isn’t you.
This scene continues later as scene 41.
CUT TO:
39
14/06/23
EP4/SC25. INT. PUB. DAY 1. 19:48

SR BONIFACE, SAM, FELIX, PEGGY, SR PETER, SR REG, MRS CLAM,
MISS THIMBLE, SYLVIA, MARION, BARRY
NSE NUNS, NSE PUB STAFF, NSE CUSTOMERS
What it has to offer is a rollicking sing song. The choir are
now -
CHOIR
(singing)
DOING the Lambeth Walk – Oi!
– choreography demonstrated by SR REG - as SR PETER and
SYLVIA merrily conduct. Even MRS CLAM is at it. And PEGGY has
joined in, too. FELIX watches, amused.
At the bar – MARION is on the phone –
MARION
(into the phone)
I love you, do you hear me?
As BARRY appears at her shoulder -
BARRY
My round.
- she hangs up, quickly -
MARION
Barry, listen - I know Donald was
trying to side-line you.
BARRY slumps -
BARRY
The old vocal cords aren’t what
they once were.
MARION
But the audience love your cheeky
charm. Let’s put it front and
centre again.
BARRY
Congregation congas? Twisting in
the aisles? Put a bit of fun back
in the show?
MARION
Exactly!
They cheers to that.
40
14/06/23
BARRY winks at MRS CLAM - who goes weak at the knees as SAM
and SR BONIFACE walk in and SR BONIFACE hurries to rejoin the
choir -
She stops and gawps as MISS THIMBLE licks her finger and
turns the page on the music.
SR BONIFACE promptly rushes out of the pub again.
SAM and FELIX look at each other - now what?
CUT TO:
41
14/06/23
EP4/SC26. INT. ST VINCENT'S CONVENT. SR BONIFACE'S LAB. DAY

2. 09:01
NEW DAY. SAM and FELIX enter - SAM munching on a crumpet.
FELIX
Morning!
SR BONIFACE is giddy with excitement -
SR BONIFACE
And one that’s off to a rather good
start. I know how the poison was
ingested.
SAM and FELIX are all ears.
SR BONIFACE puts on gloves and produces -
The sheet music found at the scene.
It’s laced with cyanide.
SAM and FELIX aren’t following.
Every time Donald turned the page,
he licked his fingers.
She mimes - carefully! - and they get it.
SAM/FELIX
Ahhhhh.
SR BONIFACE
Sadly, the only prints on the paper
are Donald’s. But - what’s also
interesting is this -
She shines a UV light on a greasy smudge in the corner of the
paper - a tiny piece cut from it.
FELIX
What is it?
SR BONIFACE
I took a sample -
SR BONIFACE puts a slide with the paper sample on it under

the microscope –
Ta da!
She stands back to let them look. They do - no clue as to

what they’re looking at.
42
14/06/23
(as though it’s obvious)
Pollen!
SAM
Bee pollen?
SR BONIFACE
In the grease. It’s some sort of
beeswax.
FELIX
Furniture polish?
SR BONIFACE
Well -
She’s glad he asked.
CUT TO:
43
14/06/23

SR BONIFACE, SAM, FELIX, MRS CLAM, MISS THIMBLE
SAM and FELIX peer closely as SR BONIFACE shines a UV light
on a greasy smudge on the organ -
SR BONIFACE
The same grease as on the poisoned
sheet music. But - if it was
furniture polish shouldn’t it have
been rubbed in?
SR BONIFACE shines her light across the organ – the same
little blobs of beeswax all over.
MRS CLAM appears - accompanied by MISS THIMBLE.
MRS CLAM
Constable Button said you’d
finished with the scene of the
crime.
She nods to PEGGY who enters behind them brandishing -
PEGGY
One restored cassette tape.
SR BONIFACE
Oh, marvellous.
MRS CLAM
We very much need to rehearse.
MRS CLAM unpacks her bells as MISS THIMBLE takes up position
at the organ.
The officers move away as -
FELIX
(musing)
Cyanide is not easy to get hold of.
Which means the murder must have
been well-planned. It wasn’t an
impulsive act.
SR BONIFACE
Which suggests an old grudge.
SAM
Out of our four suspects - who had
known Donald the longest?
MRS CLAM
Barry Gold and Donald are old
friends. Those two made the show.
44
14/06/23
The officers stop and turn back towards MRS CLAM as she
drifts off into a reverie -
MRS CLAM (CONT'D)
Although Barry’s the one with the
star quality.
She’s suddenly alarmed -
MRS CLAM (CONT'D)

I will not entertain the notion
that he had anything to do with Mr
Merriweather’s death. The two were
like brothers!
MISS THIMBLE
Like Cain and Abel. I heard Barry
say he wished he’d rammed that
cassette down Donald’s throat.
BONIFACE turns to SAM - cassette!
CUT TO:
45
14/06/23
EP4/SC28. INT. HOTEL. BARRY’S ROOM. DAY 2. 10:23

SR BONIFACE, SAM, BARRY
A nervous BARRY watches as SAM and SR BONIFACE confront him
with the cassette tape -
BARRY
Where did you get that?
BONIFACE produces a cassette player -
BONIFACE
The same place we got this. From Mr
Merriweather’s room.
She takes the tape and puts it into the player. The (slightly
warped) theme tune to Glory Be! rings out - but it’s a woman
singing.
SAM
That’s Sylvia.
The music is interrupted by BARRY’s voice on the recording -
BARRY (ON THE RECORDING)
What the hell is going on?
SAM and SR BONIFACE turn to look at BARRY as -
SYLVIA (ON THE RECORDING)
Barry!
INSERT FLASHBACK: SCENE 29 – Barry confronts Donald and
Sylvia.
BARRY swallows.
BONIFACE
Yours? Or Donald’s?
SAM
That’s not the Barry Gold that Mrs
Clam knows and loves.
BARRY
Because that’s not me. I’m not a
violent man.
BONIFACE
This tape suggests otherwise.
BARRY
This show means everything to me.
SAM
And if Sylvia took over as the face
and voice of Glory Be!
(MORE)
46
14/06/23
SAM (CONT'D)
that’s you finished, right? No more
record sales - no more concert
tours.
BARRY
It’s not just a living. It’s a
life. The people who work on Glory
Be! are my family.
SAM
But wouldn’t it be Marion who would
have fire you? She’s the director.
BARRY
She was more scared of Donald than
I was. Between you and me, I think
she was looking for another job.
She’s been making so many furtive
phone calls, lately -
He stops.
SAM
What do you mean - furtive?
On BARRY - worried he’s dropped Marion in it.
CUT TO:
47
14/06/23
EP4/SC29. INT. HOTEL. DONALD'S ROOM. DAY 0. 22:21 [FLASHBACK]

BARRY, DONALD, SYLVIA
A makeshift studio set up. SYLVIA at a microphone. She and
DONALD stare as BARRY confronts them -
DONALD
I thought Sylvia might sing the
show out after she wins on Sunday.
BARRY
I’m not stupid, Donald. I know
you’d like Sylvia to replace me as
the face and voice of Glory Be!
SYLVIA
What?
DONALD
Oh, let’s face it, Barry. The
ratings are nosediving. The show
needs someone new, someone young -
BARRY
Over my dead body -
He launches himself at the recording equipment and wrenches
the tape out of the machine -
CUT TO:
48
14/06/23
EP4/SC30. INT. POLICE STATION. SAM AND FELIX’S OFFICE. DAY 2.

12:14
As they head into the station -
FELIX
I checked with the exchange. Calls
were made to the same number from
the pub and Reverend Mother
Adrian’s office -
FELIX picks up the phone and dials -
FELIX (CONT'D)
(into the phone)
Chesterfield four nine four two
please.
SR BONIFACE and SAM wait, expectantly, as -
FELIX (CONT'D)
(into the phone)
Hello? Could I speak to your
mother, please?
Mother?
CUT TO:
49
14/06/23
EP4/SC31. EXT. CONVENT. DAY 2. 13:07

SR BONIFACE, SAM, MARION
SAM and SR BONIFACE confront a nervous MARION –
MARION
Can’t a mother call her own son to
say goodnight?
SAM
Her secret son.
SR BONIFACE
You’ve gone to quite some effort to
keep him hidden.
MARION
Because I’m not married! I don’t
believe God sits in judgement. But
a single mother as the director of
a religious programme? Can you
imagine the scandal?
SAM
But Donald found out?
MARION steels herself -
MARION
He was blackmailing me.
INSERT FLASHBACK: SCENE 32 – Donald threatens Marion.
MARION trembles.
MARION (CONT'D)
I was terrified of losing my job.
SAM
Fear can make people do terrible
things.
MARION
But I wouldn’t risk leaving my son
without a mother. Look - I have a
live broadcast to direct in a
couple of hours - can we speak
afterwards? This may well be the
last ever episode of Glory Be! I’d
like to make it a good one.
We dissolve from MARION’s determined face to -
CUT TO:
50
14/06/23

[FLASHBACK]
DONALD, MARION
P/U from Scene 7.
DONALD
... I’m the one pulling the
strings. And you - would do well to
remember that.
On MARION - fear and fury jostle for position.
DONALD (CONT'D)
I’ve got photographic evidence of
you and your dirty little secret.
MARION
Don’t call him that.
DONALD
So, unless you want me to tell the
world, you’ll run the show exactly
as I see fit. Which includes
casting your vote for Sylvia on
Sunday.
DONALD sweeps out of the truck, leaving MARION cowed.
CUT TO:
51
14/06/23
EP4/SC33. INT. ST VINCENT’S CONVENT. SR BONIFACE’S LAB. DAY

2. 15:42
On Marion’s photo on the board. Sam And Felix stare at it.
They turn round as -
SR BONIFACE
Hmm.
SR BONIFACE is studying the sample from the sheet music under
the microscope.
Something about the structure of
the pollen in the beeswax.
She pulls out a book on pollinating plants and searches

through it - Aha! She looks again at the microscope.
SR BONIFACE beams and turns to SAM and FELIX -
The pollen structure - it’s from a
lavender only found in France. The
bees who made this beeswax were not
British bees! They were French!
FELIX
Is that important?
SR BONIFACE
I expect so.
She beams.
CUT TO:
52
14/06/23

MISS THIMBLE, SYLVIA, OLIVER, MARION, BARRY
NSE NUNS, NSE ARCHBISHOP, NSE DIGNITARIES, NSE CONGREGATION
The chapel is packed. Everyone in position. SAM, FELIX and
PEGGY watching from the back.
SR PETER passes SYLVIA -
SR PETER
For the joy of it, yes? For God.
SYLVIA nods -
SYLVIA
Yesterday was so much fun. Thank
you. You know - sometimes the
smallest voices have the biggest
impact.
SR PETER is BUOYED as she hurries to take up position before
the choir.
MARION
First positions, everybody! And we
go live in three - two -
BARRY looks earnestly down the camera lens –
BARRY
Good evening. After much soul
searching we have decided to push
ahead with tonight’s broadcast as
tribute to the man who made the
music – the creator of this show -
and its musical director - Donald
Merriweather.
OLIVER and SYLVIA twitch – forced smiles as the camera pans
to them. OLIVER whispers to SYLVIA -
OLIVER
At least it’s a level playing field
now. May the best singer win. - A
shared smile.
BARRY
Tonight’s programme is for you,
Donald.
MISS THIMBLE strikes up at the organ – a few wrong notes
which earn a startled look from BARRY as -
53
14/06/23
BARRY (CONT'D)
(singing)
Glory! Glory! Glory Be!
MRS CLAM joins in on the handbells and the convent choir sing
- it’s GOOD.
JUMP CUT TO:
54
14/06/23

MISS THIMBLE, SYLVIA, OLIVER, BARRY
SYLVIA sings – lost in music –
SYLVIA
(singing)
Ave Maria. Gratia plena.
- As SR PETER watches proudly.
SYLVIA looks to OLIVER who throws her a supportive thumbs up
before slicking his fingers through his hair.
SR REG
(to BONIFACE)
He’s like a holy Elvis.
SR BONIFACE stares at OLIVER and disappears into a dream
world ...
INSERT SCENE 36 - BONIFACE FANTASY
SR BONIFACE’s jaw drops. Lightbulb moment!
To SR PETER’s alarm, SR BONIFACE slinks down behind the pew
and crawls her way to the aisle, as the NSE NUNS jump in a
wimpled ‘Mexican wave’.
She crawls out of the chapel - much to SR PETER’s
perturbation.
SAM and FELIX exchange looks and follow her out of the
chapel.
CUT TO:
55
14/06/23
EP4/SC36. INT. VEGAS STAGE. (FANTASY SEQUENCE)

SR BONIFACE, OLIVER
SR BONIFACE watches as OLIVER - dressed as Elvis - swivels
and croons -
OLIVER
(a la Elvis)
Uh huh huh.
And slicks his fingers through his hair.
CUT TO:
56
14/06/23
EP4/SC37. INT. ST VINCENT'S CONVENT. DRESSING ROOM AREA. DAY

2. 18:32
Under the sound of Sylvia’s solo -
SAM and FELIX watch as SR BONIFACE rummages through the
lotions and potions on Oliver’s dressing table.
She seizes one up! Ta da! But then - her eye lights on a
framed photograph. She scrutinises it - another lightbulb
moment.
CUT TO:
57
14/06/23

MISS THIMBLE, RM ADRIAN, SYLVIA, OLIVER, BARRY
The NSE CONGREGATION listen - rapt - as OLIVER performs -
OLIVER
(singing)
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound -
He’s every bit the star – he would be a deserving winner.
But then OLIVER pales as - off to the side – the police and
SR BONIFACE beckon.
He makes a run for it – down the aisle – NSE CONGREGATION
agog as OLIVER and the police engage in a farcical game of
cat and mouse in and out of the pews.
BARRY beams into the camera – one eye on the pursuit -
BARRY
(improvising)
And now - before we announce our
Chorister of the Year - I would
like to sing for you one of my
favourite songs –
He looks over to the choir -
BARRY (CONT'D)
- With the help of the St Vincent’s
choir...
SR PETER looks horrified –
But BARRY begins to croon –

BARRY (CONT'D)
(to the tune of the
Lambeth Walk)
If you come round Jesus’ way,
Any evening, any day -
As RM ADRIAN arrives just in time for -
BARRY (CONT'D)
(singing)
You’ll find us all – listening to
Jesus talk -
- And SR PETER brings in the choir …
58
14/06/23
CHOIR
Oi!
(singing)
If you come round Jesus’ way,
Any evening, any day -
You’ll find us all – listening to
Jesus talk -
- Complete with dance moves.
OLIVER races out of the chapel, police in pursuit -
RM ADRIAN sits suddenly in the nearest pew and crosses
herself.
CUT TO:
59
14/06/23
EP4/SC39. INT. ST VINCENT'S CONVENT. CORRIDOR. DAY 2. 18:45

SR BONIFACE, SAM, FELIX, OLIVER, SYLVIA
OLIVER runs slap bang into FELIX - returning at a run.
OLIVER turns but SAM and SR BONIFACE are already there.
OLIVER
You don’t know anything.
SR BONIFACE
We know that someone switched the
music on the organ for a pre-soaked
murderous melody –
INSERT FLASHBACK: SC40 – Oliver switches the sheet music.
But - whilst you didn’t leave any
fingerprints on the poisoned sheet
music – you did leave a trail,
Oliver – like a greasy Hansel and
Gretel – only without Gretel.
She waves the pomade bottle at him -
It’s a very unusual brand of French
hair pomade. Containing beeswax
made by French bees.
Gotcha.
BONIFACE
And I think I know why you did it.
You have a photograph of your
mother on your dressing table.
OLIVER tenses.
BONIFACE (CONT'D)
She’s wearing a pin on her lapel.
I’ve seen that emblem before. On
Donald’s tie. The emblem of St
Aquilina's Music College.
FELIX
If I make a call to them, I think
they’ll confirm that your mother
was there at the same time as
Donald.
OLIVER
She was. Until they threw her out.
He takes a breath. This is hard for him.
60
14/06/23
OLIVER (CONT'D)
For cheating. But she didn’t. She
wouldn’t. She never told a lie in
her life. Not to me, not to anyone.
Donald framed her because she had
the nerve to break up with him.
He looks to SYLVIA – standing in the chapel doorway –
OLIVER (CONT'D)
Donald didn’t like his girlfriends
to have minds of their own.
INSERT FLASHBACK: SC41 - Oliver confronts Donald about his

mother.
OLIVER (CONT'D)
When she saw him on television -
something inside her broke. But she
couldn’t stop watching. It ate her
up - the misery - the bitterness.
But she was never bitter towards
me. Only ever sweet. And sad. At
herself, I think, more than Donald.
They told me she took her own life -
but it was really Donald who took
it, really.
He looks to SYLVIA. She knows that feeling.
OLIVER (CONT'D)
She blamed herself but I blame him.
She cut her life short because of
Donald. I wanted to cut his short,
too.
FELIX handcuffs OLIVER as -
FELIX
I'm arresting you on suspicion of
the murder of Donald Merriweather,
you are not obliged to say anything
unless you wish to do so but what
you say may be put into writing and
given in evidence.
SAM
In killing Donald you’ve let him
ruin your life, too.
OLIVER
But at least he won’t ruin anyone
else’s.
He looks to SYLVIA and she runs over and squeezes his arm.
Sympathy and empathy - and thanks?
61
14/06/23
And watches as OLIVER is led away.

CUT TO:
62
14/06/23

[FLASHBACK]
OLIVER, DONALD, MARION, SYLVIA
DONALD checks the microphones - MARION and SYLVIA in
discussion near him - as OLIVER watches from a distance.
OLIVER sneaks up to the organ - checking that nobody is
looking -
OLIVER runs his gloved hands through his hair and switches
the sheet music -
CUT TO:
63
14/06/23
EP4/SC41. EXT. ST VINCENT'S CONVENT. CHAPEL. DAY 1. 10:15

[FLASHBACK]
DONALD, OLIVER
P/U from Scene 24.
DONALD
Worried about the competition, are
you? Worried that your matinee idol
looks won’t swing it for you? Well,
you should be worried. Because
there’s only one contender for
Chorister of the Year as far as I’m
concerned. And it isn’t you.
OLIVER
Leave Sylvia alone!
DONALD
I beg your pardon?
OLIVER
I see what you’re doing. You’ve
done it before.
DONALD
What are you talking about?
OLIVER
You did it to my mother. Christine
Carraway. Remember her?
DONALD
Your mother is Christine?
OLIVER
She told me how you tried to
control her - the same way you
control Sylvia. Except my mother
tried to get away.
DONALD
She did get away. I haven’t seen
her since -
OLIVER
Since you ruined her life. You
convinced everyone she’d stolen the
end of term exam papers. But you
planted them in her room.
DONALD
You can’t prove that.
OLIVER
She never got over it. Her own
parents disowned her. Her friends.
(MORE)
64
14/06/23
OLIVER (CONT'D)
You stole her education from her -
her whole future. So - no - she
never got away from you. What you
did destroyed her.
DONALD
What are you telling me for?
OLIVER
To give you one last chance to say
sorry.
DONALD
Or what will you do? Go to the
newspapers? Who’ll believe you?
Especially after tomorrow. You’ll
just come across as a sore, sad
loser. Like mother, like son.
DONALD leers and OLIVER shakes.
CUT TO:
65
14/06/23

SR PETER, SR REG, MRS CLAM, MISS THIMBLE, SYLVIA, BARRY, RM
ADRIAN
BARRY beams - like his life depends on it - down the camera
lens –
BARRY
And finally, without further to-do
– I mean – ado – I am delighted to
announce that the Chorister of the
Year is – Sylvia!
The congregation applaud as SYLVIA steps up to shake BARRY’s
hand.
BARRY (CONT'D)
A thoroughly deserved winner.
SYLVIA
Thank you.
BARRY
I wonder if you’d do me the very
great honour - of helping me to
sing out the show?
He smiles at her – solidarity.
And BARRY and SYLVIA turn to the camera and launch into the
Glory Be! theme tune.
CUT TO:
66
14/06/23

MARION, BARRY, MRS CLAM
MARION sits, head in hands, as BARRY bursts into the truck -
MARION
A murder arrest! Live on
television! This will be the nail
in the coffin -
She stops as she realises BARRY is grinning.
MARION (CONT'D)
Why are you smiling? It isn’t
funny!
BARRY
I’ve been on to the producers. They
think the publicity is going to be
huge for the show. And they loved
the Lambeth Walking nuns.
A little rap at the door and MRS CLAM pops her head in.
MRS CLAM
I wonder if I could trouble you for
an autograph ...
BARRY reaches into his inside pocket for a publicity photo

and pen -
BARRY
Of course.
MRS CLAM
Could you make it out to Felix?
He’s such an enormous fan.
On MRS CLAM - a rare cheeky smile.

CUT TO:
67
14/06/23

SR BONIFACE, SR PETER, SYLVIA, SR REG, RM ADRIAN
NSE NUNS
A NEW DAY dawns and the choir bustles in for Matins.
SYLVIA sits in quiet contemplation as SR PETER sits down
beside her in the pew.
SR PETER
You haven’t been here all night?
SYLVIA
I’ve been praying. Asking if I
should stay. Here.
SR PETER
A life under the veil?
SYLVIA
I should like it. To give my life
to God. But then - The Glory Be!
team have asked me to join the show
- as a regular soloist.
SR PETER spies SR BONIFACE hurrying in late -
SR PETER
It is possible to serve the Lord
and have a career.
SR BONIFACE
Oh, I should say! Amen to that!
SYLVIA lights up. But then -
RM ADRIAN
Right!
RM ADRIAN strides in.
RM ADRIAN (CONT'D)
Despite all evidence to the
contrary -
SR PETER quakes -
RM ADRIAN (CONT'D)
Canoness Basil is of the opinion
that Sister Peter did an admirable
job of conducting the choir.
SR PETER blinks - sorry, what?
68
14/06/23
RM ADRIAN (CONT'D)
And is insistent that, henceforth,
Sister Peter will be taking charge
of rehearsals.
A round of applause as the choir burst into -
CHOIR
(singing)
Glory! Glory! Glory Be!
They sing us out as SR PETER beams.
END OF EPISODE.
69

How To Murder A Tune - Draft 4

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How To Murder A Tune - Draft 4

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THE SISTER BONIFACE MYSTERIES III

FOR BUSINESS USE ONLY

GUEST CHARACTER BIOGRAPHIES

EP4/SC1. INT. ST ELSEWHERE’S CHURCH. DAY 0. 19:00

SMASH CUT TO:

EP4/SC2. INT. ST VINCENT'S CONVENT. CHAPEL. DAY 1. 08:07

SR REG snorts. RM ADRIAN shoots daggers.

She raises her arms - conductor-like - to bring them in and

RM ADRIAN blows a gasket - and a whistle.

EP4/SC3. INT. ST VINCENT'S. RM ADRIAN’S CELL. DAY 1. 09:02

Before SR PETER can protest, SR BONIFACE hurtles through the

EP4/SC4. EXT. ST VINCENT'S CONVENT. DAY 1. 09:10

She eyes the truck emblazoned with GLORY BE!

FELIX grimaces at PEGGY as if to say ‘under duress’.

MRS CLAM (CONT'D)

She comes over all ‘Beatle-mania’ or rather ‘Barry-mania’ as

BARRY waves at them and disappears into the chapel as DONALD

DONALD gives MARION such a glare.

SYLVIA looks like she might faint – as DONALD takes

EP4/SC5. INT. ST VINCENT'S CONVENT. CHAPEL. DAY 1. 09:15

She nods to where MRS CLAM is carefully polishing her bells,

MRS CLAM bristles. BARRY bows -

He follows after DONALD, passing OLIVER and SYLVIA who have

Under the nervous conducting of SR PETER. OLIVER and SYLVIA

The choir trails off to a whimper.

SR PETER and her choir look TERRIFIED.

BARRY catches this and bristles.

SR PETER and choir tremble.

A nod to the nuns.

The nuns depart noisily as DONALD heads over to the crew -

Leaving OLIVER crestfallen.

EP4/SC6. EXT. ST VINCENT'S CONVENT. GARDEN. DAY 1. 09:20

She glances up to see the RM ADRIAN scowling down at her from

She hurries over to where the NSE NUNS have gathered -

SYLVIA watches her go - a half-smile until -

EP4/SC7. INT. OUTSIDE BROADCAST TRUCK. DAY 1. 09:24

She waves the piece of paper at him -

On MARION - fear and fury jostle for position.

This scene continues later as Sc33.

EP4/SC8. INT. ST VINCENT'S CONVENT. DRESSING AREA. DAY 1.

OLIVER drops the light-hearted tone - suddenly serious -

SYLVIA gives a sad little laugh.

On SYLVIA - a sad smile.

EP4/SC9. INT. ST VINCENT'S CONVENT. CHAPEL. DAY 1. 10:34

BARRY steps forward to sing – then -

At the organ, DONALD freezes - stricken - gurgles - and falls

MARION races over. DONALD’S face is grotesque – eyes bulging

EP4/SC10. INT. ST VINCENT'S CONVENT. CHAPEL. DAY 1. 11:01

Everybody’s eyes go to the teacup and biscuit, as PEGGY

FELIX covers the teacup carefully and puts the biscuit in a

EP4/SC11. INT. ST VINCENT'S CONVENT. DRESSING AREA. DAY 1.

EP4/SC12. INT. ST VINCENT'S CONVENT. RM ADRIAN’S OFFICE. DAY

EP4/SC13. INT. HOTEL. DONALD’S ROOM. DAY 1. 11:47

SR BONIFACE pulls on cotton gloves and reads one of the

A small ring box. Inside -

EP4/SC14. INT. HOTEL. SYLVIA’S ROOM. DAY 1. 11:48

EP4/SC15. INT. ST VINCENT’S CONVENT. REVEREND MOTHER’S

INSERT FLASHBACK: SC16 - Sylvia expresses doubts to Donald.

On Sylvia - completely and utterly dejected.

EP4/SC16. INT. HOTEL. SYLVIA'S ROOM. DAY 1. 07:22 [FLASHBACK]

EP4/SC17. INT. ST VINCENT'S CONVENT. SR BONIFACE’S LAB. DAY

She dashes off.

EP4/SC18. INT. ST VINCENT'S CONVENT. CHAPEL. DAY 1. 15:08

She sits down in a pew and SYLVIA joins her.