PARADOXICAL INQUISITION
 
 
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SUPER: PARADOXICAL INQUISITION.
FADE IN:

INT. RESTAURANT. EVENING.

A packed, sombre restaurant with minimalist floral decorum.

Soft light fixtures illuminate those dining and drinking.
(We first view THEO and CHARLOTTE through a WIDE -two- SHOT).

THEO, (20's) shaggy brown hair, gestures as he speaks

confidently to his date CHARLOTTE over the table.
(As they converse we use a series of OTS shots as well as two
shots.)
THEO
...It's just incredible the lengths
Sam Raimi took to avoid using CGI
in Spider-man 1. A testament to how
excellent that Trilogy is. I mean
did you know Toby McGuire had to do
that tray catch 156 times.

Theo swirls a glass of red wine and smells it pretentiously,

sniffs the aroma from the rim and recoils at its bitter
smell.
CHARLOTTE
Interesting. Is that your favourite
Spider-man then?

The boy laughs at the girls retort.

THEO
Don't be ridiculous. Spider-man 2.
(mumbles)
Stupid girl.

Something off-screen catches Theo's eye, his hand SHOOTS up

as we RACK FOCUS to a waiter.
THEO (CONT'D)
Er. Waiter!

Theo mimics scrawling notes on his hands to signify 'Bill,

please!'. Charlotte bites her nails.
THEO (CONT'D)
Oh. Did you also know that in toy
Story 3-
 2.

CHARLOTTE
-That they accidentally deleted the
entire film so had to start from
scratch.
THEO
You're so close. No. Actually a
woman had about 90% of the film
copied at home, so they only had to
work on 10%.
CHARLOTTE
OK. OK. I guess you know
everything.
THEO
Pretty much.
CHARLOTTE
Bet you know what came first, the
chicken or the egg?

(Theo's visible confusion is met with a SLOW PUSH IN [OR A

DOLLY ZOOM]).
THEO
That's random, but its clearly the
egg- wait no the chicken because it
would have to- But... Isn't it...
CHARLOTTE
Are you okay? You are acting aloof.

THEO
Shush. I'm thinking.

Theo scratches his head and promptly stands up.

(We WHIP PAN / INTER CUT between [RESTAURANT] and [THEO'S
APARTMENT])
THEO (CONT'D)
What the fuck came first?
WHIP PAN:

INT. KITCHEN / THEO'S APARTMENT. NIGHT.

RICARDO, (20's) chews into a slice of tiger bread, stops in

response to Theo (Off-screen).
 3.

RICARDO
What?
WHIP PAN:

Theo swipes on the touch pad of his LAPTOP.

THEO
Chicken or the egg?
RICARDO
Were you not just on a date?

INT. RESTAURANT. EVENING.

(A CU of the BILL that reads £42.99)

Charlotte's arms folded, cross at THEO who's seat is empty.

INT. KITCHEN / THEO'S APARTMENT. NIGHT.

Theo flaunts a dismissive hand and drinks a bottle of beer.

THEO
Forget about it, Cuh.
RICARDO
Wouldn't the Chicken come first?
THEO
But chicken's come from eggs.
RICARDO
I'm stumped.

Ricardo spins round and exits the kitchen.

Ricardo pops his head back into the Kitchen.
RICARDO (CONT'D)
Get to sleep.

Theo's roommate switches the lights off-

INT. DARK. NIGHT.

A dark void empty of anything... This is Theo's mind... Or

maybe just the kitchen still...
 4.

A flash of light illuminates a mobile device... it is open on

an INSPIRATIONAL SONG (a finger presses play and it becomes
non-digetic). The light dies.
Another flash of light illuminates Theo wearing a LAB coat.
INSPECTS an egg. The light dies.
THEO (V.O)
A simple question. What came
first... The Egg... OR the Chicken.
Why is such a simple brain buster,
so complex and thrilling.

A flash of light illuminates Theo tying string around pins on

a pin board, connecting a pinned image of an egg to an array
of random cutouts... the string comes down to a pinned
picture of... a chicken. Theo smiles, he's got it! Wait.
Theo's grin of victory becomes a grimace of defeat as the
string keeps going and he wraps it around the pin and back to
the egg. Shit.

INT. MUSEUM. DAY.

Theo and Charlotte are on a date at a museum.

(Whole Museum Scene is SILENT outside of music and voice
over).
Charlotte is astonished by the paintings and beautiful models
and artwork presented. It is all amazing.
Theo is indifferent. Mind set on something else. A pondering
mind, a struggling philosopher... Something catches the young
mans eye... OLD WOMAN FRYING EGGS... A painting.
(Intense VIOLIN music sets in).
(A series of INSERTS and CU of OWFE painting INTER-CUT with
Theo's speculating eyes...).
(We RACK FOCUS from Theo to Charlotte as most of the scene
carries on from the same camera position).
Charlotte gazes from afar at Theo who seems distracted and
distant, she is upset.
Ricardo bumps into her as she points at Theo, he looks over
and then down at his feet... In his hand is a smoothie, he
gives it to Charlotte.
She accepts the smoothie and relieves a hesitant smile...
 5.

INT. DARK. NIGHT.

Back here again. Darkness. Theo is alone, messy, driven. A

man that looks past his years...
THEO (V.O)
My research becomes null. It's all
a blunder, I must venture further,
human senses dictate life. Nature.
I think therefore I am. How does
one truly think without taste. I
taste therefore I am-

Theo is illuminated by the fridge light as he cracks an egg

and lets the runny goo down his throat and chokes...
THEO (V.O) (CONT'D)
I see therefore I am-

Theo is illuminated from within a cracked egg shell...

(For the LIGHT would be produced behind the camera making it
seem as though it were coming from within / or the bottom
cracked with a torch hidden underneath it).
THEO (V.O) (CONT'D)
I hear therefore I am-

Theo illuminated (In a mid-shot) holds one egg in each hand

and brings them together like flint and steel, they spark.
Amazement emanates from Theo.
THEO (V.O) (CONT'D)
I smell therefore I am...

Another light as Theo sniffs the air... Visible grimace and

disgust...
THEO (V.O) (CONT'D)
I Feel therefore...

THE LIGHTS FLICK ON.

EXT. OPEN HILLS. DUSK.

(The music intensifies with each beat here after).

Theo wanders the OPEN PLAINS of AYRSHIRE... A cold chill to
the air... Dust settles as Theo stumbles out of frame.
The camera rotates slowly as we WITNESS the full extent of
THEO's MADNESS UNRAVELS...
 6.

Theo stares blankly as a single CHICKEN BOBS ITS HEAD and

SQUAWK'S around...
THEO (V.O)
I AM.

The music finally drills to a decrescendo... As the chicken

walks away from Theo who doesn't bother chasing after it...
THEO (V.O) (CONT'D)
I act... Therefore, I'm alone...

He drops to his knees-

(Here we INTER-CUT / TRANSITION to [KITCHEN / THEO'S
APARTMENT]).

INT. KITCHEN / THEO'S APARTMENT. DUSK.

We follow Theo drop to his knees in the kitchen... The

Television still on... Theo is a silhouette in front of
throbbing strobe lights...
(The camera rotates in place...)
(Followed by a CU of THEO'S eye twitch...)
(NEXT LINE: Ricardo and Charlotte are shrouded in darkness
with only their area lit up to show how much fun and happy
they are together).
Theo turns to the OVEN and FRIDGE... Charlotte and Ricardo
playfully kiss and cuddle as they make dinner together...
They don't acknowledge Theo's existence...
(Followed by a CU of THEO'S mouth twitch... the words...)
THEO
I AM A CHICKEN...

THE END.