Lenten retreat week 3 / 18-19th/ o3/2023

Theme: be reconciled Mt 5: 24.

Previous topics: Gods love for humanity, sin and its effect on humanity, reconciliation and forgiveness,
the following topic will be and lastly, the necessary cross.

Sub topic: reconciliation and forgiveness

Scripture reading:

Introduction: Purpose of a retreat / recollection

 Recollection is intended to be a personal encounter with God characterized by meditation,

silence reflection and prayer.
 It seeks to renew faith that may long been practiced but not fully internalized
 It should bring about desired positive transformation of the participant.

What is reconciliation?

 The restoration of a friendly relationship

 The act of making ones’ view agree with another ones
 The act of making two people or two groups of people friends again after an argument of a
disagreement.
 An end to disagreement with someone or the start of good relationship again

What is forgiveness?

 Forgiveness as a choice done for one’s own good: one decides to let go the offences held against
someone or to drop the offence. “Forgiveness is freedom. Forgiveness is liberation.
Forgiveness is a choice. If you forgive and forget you are free but, if you keep it, you
shall always have it and it shall always rule and direct your heart, mind, body and spirit”.

“34 And in anger his lord delivered him to the jailers, till he should pay all his debt. 35 So
also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother
from your heart." (Mt 18:34-35)

 Forgiveness is a command from God: it is a must if we want anything from God. “14 for if you
forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15
But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Mt 6:14-15)

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 Forgiveness is a divine activity: it started with God and he commands us to forgive others

Pope Alexander writes “The idea in Christianity is that God is the only being with the ability
to truly forgive and absolve sins. So humans make mistakes and even commit sins, and
God forgives them for it”.

“The LORD is slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love, forgiving iniquity and
transgression, but by no means clearing the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the parents
upon the children to the third and the fourth generation”. (Num 14:18)

“…but showing steadfast love to the thousandth generation of those who love me and
keep my commandments” (Ex 20:6)

Jesus has full authority to forgive sins:

9 Jesus stepped into a boat, crossed over and came to his own town. 2 Some men
brought to him a paralyzed man, lying on a mat. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to
the man, “Take heart, son; your sins are forgiven.”3 At this, some of the teachers of the
law said to themselves, “This fellow is blaspheming!” 4 Knowing their thoughts, Jesus
said, “Why do you entertain evil thoughts in your hearts? 5 Which is easier: to say, ‘Your
sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up and walk’? 6 But I want you to know that the Son of
Man has authority on earth to forgive sins.” So he said to the paralyzed man, “Get up,
take your mat and go home.” 7 Then the man got up and went home. 8 When the crowd
saw this, they were filled with awe; and they praised God, who had given such authority
to man. (Mt 9:1-8)

Jesus Share his authority to forgive with the Church

“If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they
are retained.” John 20:23.

Jesus was talking to his disciple: Peter and his companions who later on became the
leaders of the Church.

Jesus was also addressing those who believe in God and those who need God’s mercy
that they need to forgive first, if God is to forgive them.

The Dangers of un-forgiveness

 God will also not forgive me

 Cause sicknesses like pressure
 Alienation from the family/ community

Lies behind forgiveness: (John 8:44)

“You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He
was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him.
When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies” (john
8:44)

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  That forgiving is punishing the offender
 That forgiving is equal forgetting
 That forgiving is the same as reconciliation
 That I will only forgive on condition that the other one stops
 That I will forgive on condition that the other on asks for it/ apology

Healing of childhood trauma

This happens at three stages;

1) In the children’s mind, adults are always there to protect , correct and if they cause harm to
them, they begin to blame themselves saying they are not good enough , good for nothing,
leading to low self esteem . in the womb, at birth and in childhood, these things can happen
2) They lose trust in adults and begin to protect themselves against the abusers, such as getting the
features of the abuser and generalize them to others of the same features. This leads to the low
esteem of other people.
3) They lose trust in God who did not protect them when they were in danger. Leading to the low
esteem of God

All these abuses take place in the families/relatives, in schools, work places, churches, neighborhood