Gend.

Issues
DOI 10.1007/s12147-016-9158-5

ORIGINAL ARTICLE

When Beauty Brings Out the Beast: Female

Comparisons and the Feminine Rivalry

Amanda Koontz Anthony1 • Sarah Okorie2 •

Lauren Norman3

 Springer Science+Business Media New York 2016

Abstract Research on competition amongst women has largely focused on rela-

tional aggression amongst adolescents, but less explored are women’s understand-
ings of the origins of competition as it relates to comparisons amongst women and
feminine ideals. Drawing on semi-structured, in-depth interviews with 30 collegiate
women, we find young women’s stories constructed comparisons and competition
amongst women as never-ending and seemingly natural, although they point to
restricted societal expectations of femininity as its origin. Women drew from the
interrelated topics of perfection-seeking, media portrayals, relationships, and con-
sumerism to explain how they and other women negotiated feminine ideals. Even if
participants understood these actions as ultimately undermining their self-image,
they still perceived achieving goals of femininity as connected with perfection and
happiness. We define such ongoing comparisons and competition as a feminine
rivalry, as women perceived other women as direct competitors and thus under-
standing of the nature of the competition. We conclude by considering how college-
aged women’s negotiations of feminine ideals to seemingly bolster or secure their
social positioning in a hierarchy of femininity, at times in contradictory ways, offers
additional insight into connections between interpersonal dynamics, expectations,
and stereotypes of women.

Keywords Social comparisons
Femininity
Feminine ideals
Relational

aggression
Interpersonal competition

& Amanda Koontz Anthony

amanda.anthony@ucf.edu
1
Department of Sociology, University of Central Florida, 4000 Central Florida Blvd., Howard
Phillips Hall, Rm 403, Orlando, FL 32816, USA
2
University of Central Florida, Orlando, FL, USA
3
Delta State University, Cleveland, MS, USA

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Introduction

The stereotypes of women as both inherently ‘‘nurturing’’ and ‘‘backstabbing’’

remain prevalent within popular culture, even with such seeming contradictions
between the two characteristics. Emphasis on women’s undermining nature is
exemplified through popular cultural representations of women as ‘‘catty’’ or having
a ‘‘mean girl nature’’ [11]. In everyday lexicon, one may hear of how men will put
other men before women, but that such a ‘code’ does not exist amongst women [28].
Similar concerns exist surrounding a ‘‘queen bee syndrome,’’ a woman ‘‘who stings
other women if her power is threatened’’ [31, p. 224, 44]. The scope of these cultural
representations depicts women as uniquely and negatively competing against each
other. In relation to such popular constructions of girls and women, the questions
arise: Do young women uphold that such a negative competitive dynamic exists
amongst women? If so, what are their understandings of why such a dynamic exists?
Prior research finds that adolescent girls use relational and discursive forms of
aggression in ways that allow them to gain power and control in peer relationships,
with competition as a critical component in relation to upholding popularity [14–16,
33]. Currie et al. [16, p. 24, 31] suggest that girls gain popularity by achieving an
idealized form of femininity; however, such ‘‘femininity is neither automatic nor
secure.’’ They argue girls then guard their status, leading to associations of
popularity with ‘‘meanness’’ (see also Rose et al. [39] on popularity and relational
aggression). In considering such relational aggression found through adolescence,
we look to address a lack of research on young women’s own constructions of the
origins and causes of competition amongst women. Emerging adulthood (approx-
imately ages 18–25) offers such an opportunity as it is marked by increased self-
reflection, independence, and insulated interactions with peers, during which time
young women have opportunities to distance from their youthful identities [2, 17].
Beyond this, women can be held increasingly accountable to feminine ideals
through transitions into adulthood, so that issues related to their femininity may be
intensified during this time [3, 50].
We contribute to research on feminine ideals and social comparisons through
interviews with collegiate women, revealing their understandings of how constructs
of feminine ideals drive comparisons and interpersonal competition amongst
women. Participants used stories of ‘‘society’’ and media portrayals to make sense
of the pressures they feel as women to be ‘‘perfect’’, based in emphasized feminine
ideals of physical appearance and demeanor. We argue their stories suggest
connections between perceived comparisons and competition, as collegiate women
define achieving perfection as being the best at achieving these ideals, and thus
better than other women. According to these stories, constant comparisons can be
understood as not only utilized to understand where they rank, but also as leading to
a sense of winners and losers in the game of achieving feminine ideals. In fact,
participants made sense of attention from men as reflecting successful attainment of
the feminine ideal of physical beauty, instead of successful beauty work resulting in
obtaining a partner. We define the described ongoing comparisons and competition
in the process of negotiating feminine ideals as the feminine rivalry. We conclude

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by considering how college-aged women’s negotiations of their own femininity, in

sometimes contradictory ways to seemingly bolster or secure their social positioning
in a hierarchy of femininity, offers additional insight into connections between
interpersonal dynamics, expectations, and stereotypes of women.

Feminine Ideals and Social Comparison

Hegemonic gender beliefs, including views of women as less competent and nicer
than men, categorically shape expectations for how ‘‘women’’ and ‘‘men’’ should
act. In turn, these gendered cultural beliefs can more or less consciously affect how
women behave to meet these expectations [38, 49]. While gender and femininity are
socially constructed, postmodern perspectives suggest women must work to fit into
a feminine mold if they desire to be accepted as a woman—or minimally avoid
stigmatization for challenging these boundaries (e.g., [7]). For instance, the labels of
‘‘bitch’’ or ‘‘bossy’’ expose social constraints surrounding how women are not
supposed to act, resulting in more or less formal policing of access to status from
traits defined as masculine [29, 32].
Particularly relevant to our focus on comparisons are social comparison
processes, through which people learn to identify themselves based on comparisons
to others and according to how they perceive others evaluate them [19, 34]. For
instance, even when women know images are digitally altered and therefore
unrealistic, they still believe these images universally reflect men’s, and their
significant others’, preferences [5]. These comparisons may be taken a step further
through reflected appraisals, consisting of individuals imposing other peoples’
appraisals of an individual onto themselves [18, 30]. For instance, Milkie [34] found
that young women remained critical of unrealistic images of femininity in the
media, yet White women particularly experienced lowered self-esteem; this
occurred because they thought others, and especially men, used or viewed idealized
images as an important measurement for evaluating them as women. Even if
individuals question the realism of idealized images, it is possible they will
perpetuate the importance of these ideals because they believe that others continue
to uphold their importance.
Prior research also suggests that women can come to define popular cultural
representations as points of comparison, and in turn, define achieving feminine
ideals as corresponding with beauty work on the face, body, clothing, make-up, and
fashion [43, 46, 48]. Achieving socially-defined beauty ideals can be elevated in a
moral sense to imply goodness across age groups [16, 30, 46]. Alternatively,
defining oneself as not meeting the slender, white hegemonic ideal can lead to body
dissatisfaction [21]. Tseëlon [47] puts forth that women who do not perform beauty
work can experience a sense of powerlessness because of social perceptions of
unattractiveness, yet women who successfully perform beauty work can have their
power restricted by societal ‘rewards’ defining their worth and value according to
their appearance. Campbell [8] suggests that beauty may provide better treatment
socially, professionally and interpersonally, but argues that no benefit of beauty

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seems as prominent as its ability to attract a mate (see also Friedan [22]; Holland
and Eisenhart [27] on the importance of attracting a partner).
Perceived points of comparison can also be traced to negotiation of the male
gaze. While the concept of the male gaze originated from film studies, as related to
the camera being directed at women as objects [35], the concept now more generally
refers to standards that are created by and for men, as ‘‘women judge and create
themselves on the basis of their perceptions of men’s desires’’ [23, p. 816]. Berger
[4, p. 42] argues that ‘‘Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked
at. This determines not only most relations between men and women but also the
relation of women to themselves.’’ Accordingly, women would then impose
perceived judgments of men both on themselves and other women. Arguably,
women may therefore uphold social standards of a male gaze while perceiving
social benefits from doing so [23]. Accordingly, this comparative process can be
upheld through active enforcement of patriarchy by men, but may also consistently
be a result of the internalization of patriarchal beliefs about women, by women.
However, it is necessary to understand where women perceive the origins of these
pressures and how they translate into everyday interactions.
Prior work suggests how popular representations affect the importance of beauty
to femininity and in turn, pressures on women. For instance, The Feminine Mystique
[22] and The Beauty Myth [51] offer theses on the importance of beauty to
definitions of femininity. Friedan [22, p. 190] put forth the feminine mystique—a
problem that had no name for women of the contemporary time—derived from
taking on an identity based on others. This perpetuated a concern for appearance and
domesticity to the point that girls become absorbed with a fantasy about ‘‘boys and
popularity, [and] marriage and love.’’ She argued women can come to believe that
something is wrong if they do not realize corresponding fantasies accordingly or
gain satisfaction from doing so. Wolf [51] situated the feminine mystique within her
conceptualization of the beauty myth, a matter of actions taken to control
appearance based in cultural ideologies that women’s worth derives from being
young and beautiful. Although what constitutes ‘‘beautiful’’ differs according to the
social period, Wolf puts forth this particular type of emphasis on feminine beauty
derived with the emergence of a ‘‘cult of domesticity’’ [51, p. 14]. With the
Industrial Revolution, men became associated with the public work sphere and
women were relegated to a private domestic sphere. Amongst other changes, this
construction of women’s roles and increasing commercialized images of women
helped promote the beauty myth. The status of these books as bestsellers suggests
the relevance of such subjects and helps to contextualized perspectives of what may
be considered feminine ideals.
Considering the effects of early exposure to images of strict beauty and
femininity for women and increasingly sexualized images of childhood, current
works also express concern for long-term consequences of these representations.
Olfman [36, p. 1] argues that a ‘‘sexualized society places all children at risk for
internalizing impoverished models of gender and human relationships,’’ particularly
considering effects of a ‘‘culture that depicts females as objects for male pleasure.’’
Running parallel to this are rising concerns for how young women’s early exposure
to the ‘‘princess culture’’ can lead to limitations in how women define their worth.

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US ‘‘princess culture’’ hyper-emphasizes femininity and being ‘‘girlie-girls’’,

exemplifying images of how women should act [37].1 Such images can arguably
compel women to restrictively define their self-worth according to traits defined by
Connell [13] as emphasized femininity, such as physical beauty, ability to attract
men’s attention, and ability to uphold the focus of attention without appearing
outwardly aggressive (see also [16]). Princesses tend to be portrayed as domesti-
cated, kind, and beautiful; often, the primary intended outcome is marriage—and
marrying a prince in particular [52]. The combination of these images can result in
symbolic annihilation, in which young women are only exposed to a highly limited
and limiting range of gendered representations [12, 34]. However, empirical
research is necessary that examines how women themselves define effects of these
ideologies of femininity and beauty, especially in relation to connections between
comparisons and competition amongst women in the contemporary context.
Supporting concerns of girlie-ness, Armstrong and Hamilton [1] suggest college-
women can still perceive rewards for investing in femininity in the contemporary
context. They argue privileged college women learn to perfect girlie-ness at the
expense of academics because it holds social value that can be exchanged in the
process of obtaining careers and attracting affluent intimate partners. Status
competitions between college women facing such conditions become based mainly
on beauty and popularity, with a book reviewer even suggesting Armstrong and
Hamilton’s work reads ‘‘like a tale of catty college women living up to terrible
stereotypes and playing off of adolescent insecurities’’ [42, p. 652]. These findings
suggest women will place value on learning emphasized femininity and being the
best at performing it among other women—and perceiving recognition for such
performances—rather than placing the same value on academic performance or
other forms of networking. Such an ethnographic study offers unique insight into
women’s lived experiences of socializing in college and suggests the importance of
further considering how traits of a ‘‘princess culture’’ may be integrated into beauty
myths and additional pressures to conform to femininity. The current study therefore
looks to specifically examine how women make sense of the origins of interpersonal
dynamics within the framework of comparisons and what drives competition
amongst women.

Methods

Data for this study derive from face-to-face interviews with thirty collegiate women
(ages 18–24) attending a large, southern research university in a suburban setting.
The university has come to reflect the four-year university attended by most US
students [41] and is defined as an ‘‘up and coming’’ university. Semi-structured in-
depth interviews focused on open-ended questions about influences on young
women’s gendered identity construction through their college transitions.

1
See also Jennifer Hartstein’s work Princess Recovery [25] and ‘‘Combatting Princess Syndrome’’ in
Psychology Today.

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Table 1 Participant Characteristics

Pseudonym Major* Year Age Race (ethnicity)*

Amelia International and Global 2 19 White

Studies
Anya Nursing 3 20 White
Tonya Creative Writing 3 20 Hispanic
Patricia Sociology 4 41 White
Audrey Bio Medical 1 18 Hispanic
Tor Psychology 3 19 Hispanic
Serena Studio Art 4 22 Black
Ashley Anthropology 4 21 White
Shojo? Film 5 22 White
Marilyn Sociology 4 21 Latina
Sara Criminal Justice 4 21 White (European-Belgium)
Stephanie Physical Therapy 4 23 Hispanic (Columbia)
Rose Film 4 21 Black/African (Nigeria)
Catherine Social Sciences 3 24 Black/Caribbean (Haitian)
Lucia Information Technology 4 23 Hispanic
Hannah Psychology 4 22 Hispanic
Teresa Advertising and Public 4 21 Chinese and Cuban
Relations
Olivia Biology 2 19 Hispanic (Puerto Rican)
Alexandria Molecular Microbiology 4 21 Hispanic (Columbia/Cuba—born in US)
Lisa Psychology 4 21 Hispanic/White (mixed)
Tia Criminal Justice 4 21 White
Cynthia Declined to complete form
Melissa Public Administration 4 24 White
Adelie Undeclared 1 18 Black
Gloria Elementary Education 4 21 Mixed-Latina/White
Angelina Health Science: Pre- 4 23 Hispanic
Clinical
Diana Emerging Media-Graphic 1 19 White/Hispanic
Design
Marie Anthropology 4 21 Hispanic
Heather Cultural Anthropology, 4 21 Multiracial (African-American/Native
Education American/Caucasian)
Samantha Psychology 4 20 Hispanic and African-American
Janice Cinema Studies 3 20 White Hispanic

* Open-ended. Participants classified as Non-Hispanic White when race self-defined as ‘‘White.’’

?
Two participants identified as pansexual (Shojo) and homosexual (Gloria); the remaining discussed
these topics in terms of heterosexuality

Through theoretical sampling [10], the authors recruited participants for the
present study through talks advertising the study to classes and student organiza-
tions. Consent forms requested participants who ‘‘self-identify as a woman or

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female’’ and were at least 18 years old. As a university-based recruitment effort, we

selected classes across arts and humanities, social sciences, and life sciences. To
support participant diversity, we recruited from courses in Biology, Engineering,
English, Nursing, and Sociology; expanding on class recruitment, we recruited from
student organizations whose descriptions specified a focus on diversity, minority,
and/or gender issues. The student body is predominately Non-Hispanic White
(*57 %), while *21 % is Hispanic American (any race) and *10 % African
American. With 26 % Non-Hispanic White participants, our study oversampled
minority racial/ethnic populations. In relation to sexual identification, the majority
of participants discussed these topics in terms of heterosexuality (see Table 1 for
participant characteristics).
As part of a larger project, interview questions asked women to reflect on
perceived early influences affecting their college experiences. The authors first
conducted a pilot study consisting of six focus groups, recruited from core sociology
courses (e.g., Social Theory and Introduction to Sociology), to gauge impacts of a
self-defined ‘‘princess culture’’ on college-aged women towards the beginning and
end of their college career. Focus groups, averaging three participants, offered
insight into salient themes to pursue in greater detail through in-depth interviews;
the pilot study demonstrated that young women consistently defined comparisons
and contrasts between women as prevalent and influential in their identity
development. Following this, the question topics drawn from for the purposes of
this study included (1) ways in which participants believed female comparisons
exist and if they do, the capacity in which they exist; and (2) whether female
competition exists and specific examples from their life experiences. Questions on
comparisons and competition followed an initial question of ‘‘How would you
define ‘‘princess culture’’?’’ (not restricted to Disney), although this often served as
a discussion that increased rapport between interviewee and interviewer prior to
more personal discussions of interpersonal relationships and identity construction.
Responses analyzed for this study thus help to reveal how a ‘‘princess culture’’ is
situated in relation to broader insight into perceived influences of media
representations. However, interviewees could openly explore topics (i.e. without
reference to a ‘‘princess culture’’).
Four interviewers, two female professors and two female doctoral students,
completed a total of thirty face-to-face interviews with collegiate women (ages
18–24) who self-identified as women and ranged from sophomores to seniors.2
Interviews averaged 1 hour, with the longest interview lasting 3 hours. Interviews
for this study were semi-structured, in that all interviewers covered each question on
the interview guide, but could ask them in the order most coherently following
interviewees’ responses and probe with follow-up questions. Participants were
given a form to complete with open-ended prompts for their race/ethnicity, age, year
in school, major(s)/minor(s), and a pseudonym (optional). Pseudonyms were
assigned by the first author if not chosen by participants.
2
For the purposes of this study, we used the parameters for students as the ages of 18–25 in accordance
with emerging adulthood [2]. Consent forms and recruiting clarified that students interested in
participating but not fitting within the parameters of gender identity/traditional college age could contact
the first author.

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All interviews were audio recorded and transcribed verbatim. After transcription,
the authors started analysis with themes inductively derived from focus groups to
guide initial-level coding, including beauty, comparison, femininity, and decision-
making. As the larger project is on the princess culture, we understand discussions
of comparisons and competition will be framed by the initial research question on
the princess culture; however, the focus of the present study is on comparisons and
competition and thus the remainder of the analysis will be centered on these topics,
although princess culture references will still be taken into consideration. To respect
narrative descriptions, we utilized chunking in the first round of coding to review
contextualized responses of ‘‘comparisons’’ and ‘‘competition’’. Additionally, as our
research question focused on college-aged women perceptions of whether, and in
what ways, competitive dynamic exists amongst women, we examined for generic
processes across the narrative descriptions. We next utilized line-by-line coding to
further discern specified processes within comparisons and competition. In the
process, initial analytical categories developed included: perpetual comparisons,
beauty-obsessed comparisons, princess complex, perfection-seeking, comparison-
based competition, and competitive efforts to attract men. In the third round of
analysis, we used constant comparison between data and literature to ground the
findings within prior research and better understand their theoretical significance.
Such a process allowed us to determine major themes by which participants
discussed cultural ideals, revealing similarities across participants (e.g., age, race,
major, and sexual identification). We additionally performed a key term search, with
terms deriving from our grounded qualitative coding, in order to determine counts
and prevalence of primary analytic terms across participants. As such similarities in
processes surfaced across participants, we thus suggest the similarities highlight the
power of these images in ways that crossed participant characteristics. We
accordingly came to understand these findings revealed how participants perceived
and constructed origins of comparisons and competition, with our participants
perceiving competitive femininity as deriving from seemingly compulsory,
emphasized feminine ideals of perfection based in beauty and demeanor.

The Feminine Rivalry

Young women’s discussions of comparisons and competition collectively defined

the goal of achieving idealized femininity as driving competition between women.
We define the ongoing comparisons and competition in the process of trying to
achieve feminine ideals as the feminine rivalry. Participants used stories of
‘‘society’’ and media portrayals to make sense of the pressures they feel as women
to be ‘‘perfect;’’ we use the term idealized femininity to highlight the construction of
femininity through these women’s stories as sets of expectations that appear rigid
and restrictive, as based in emphasized feminine ideals of physical appearance and
demeanor.
Upholding the importance of social comparisons [34], achieving perfection is
defined as being the best at achieving these ideals, and thus becoming better than
other women. In making sense of felt pressures, collegiate women’s explanations

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suggest constant comparisons are not only used to understand where they rank, but
also leads to competition because the more markers of femininity another woman
obtained is perceived as lowering another woman’s status in the feminine rivalry.
Alongside social pressures of conformity, these stories help reveal participants’
understandings of how constructs of feminine ideals, including from a ‘‘princess
culture,’’ drive comparisons and interpersonal competition amongst women.

Comparisons and Feminine Ideals

Participants described the groundwork, or basis, for the feminine rivalry as deriving
from the pressures they and other women felt to achieve feminine ideals; in fact, all
of the women described pressures felt from ‘‘society’’ and/or ‘‘media’’. Even when
women attempted to distance from these pressures, they proceeded to describe
comparisons between women to understand how well they fulfill such ideals.
Participants attributed the origins of feminine ideals to ‘‘society,’’ suggesting
women perceived pressures as deriving from such a range of sources that it was too
limiting to attribute the derivation of these ideals to one source; yet, the importance
of popular media is exemplified through the variety of examples given by women
referring to cultural portrayals of ideals. Women described perfection as being
‘‘skinny’’ yet curvaceous and ‘‘put together,’’ upholding prior research on the
‘‘curvaceously thin’’ ideal promoted through popular media (e.g., [20, 24]). In the
context of comparisons, they felt others used these ideals to judge them and
accordingly used these ideals to judge themselves, perpetuating the prevalence of
emphasized feminine ideals of physical appearance and demeanor [13, 51].
At the broadest level, women defined the feminine ideals by which they are
judged as based in appearance and explained these ideals as originating from
‘‘society,’’ with 60 % of participants using the term ‘‘society’’ specifically. For
instance, Marie described how women compare themselves and are judged on
‘‘Appearance—and it’s within just general society. I think it’s just appearance’’. It’s
not, ‘‘oh you’re a doctor, you’re a lawyer, you’re intelligent, stuff like that. No, it’s
just based on appearance I think.’’ Upholding the importance of reflected appraisals
[18, 34], Cynthia exemplified participants situating themselves amongst other
women in relation to achieving perceived feminine ideals. She distanced from
extreme reactions, yet expressed her ongoing negotiation of these feminine ideals
deriving from society:
There is nothing wrong with not being model thin but society does look at
weight. You know, we put a lot and a lot and a lot of emphasis on looking
good and losing weight and going to the extremes of even having surgery to
make you skinny. I mean…do I have low self-esteem? No, I’m not going to sit
here and say that I do. I don’t. But knowing how society looks at women that
may have a little bit more weight on them, not saying that having a little bit
more weight is such a bad thing, but they portray it to be that it is…I mean I’ve
wanted to be skinnier but… I know that those ideas do have more of an impact
on other girls than maybe me. Yeah, I want that. I want to be that skinny. But
I’m not going to go to the extremity of not eating or like forcing myself to

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puke or…I think that’s a lot of things that girls see these people that are this
thin and then want to be like that, and I do too, but I’m just not going to go to
that kind of extreme that some will.
Although women’s stories suggested their search for positive and healthy identities,
Cynthia’s comparisons placed herself in the feminine rivalry—while she still
desired to be ‘‘that skinny,’’ she situated herself as better off than others also
working to achieve this ideal yet going to an ‘‘extreme.’’ Similarly, Shojo explained
how,
[I’m] okay with my body. Do I want to look more slender? Yes, well if I
wanted to be a princess, I would have to be a lot skinnier, which is a thing, but
I like food, damnit… the Disney line does put pressure on girls and their body
image. It’s not their fault though. I think if society could do something
different, yeah. But, I don’t think it’s their fault. The cartoons that are on TV
now, you don’t see someone who’s overweight. You still skinny girls being
these protagonists.
As will be shown through other women’s stories, Shojo’s quote introduces the
perception of the ‘‘princess culture’’ as mirroring a larger context, even if the Disney
line is accredited as one source perpetuating certain ideals [25, 37]. Supporting
Milkie’s [34] findings, even when women disagreed with these ideals, women still
drew from these social ideals to uphold their influence on how women act and view
themselves in comparison to others.
Women’s stories constructed physical appearance as the basis for societal
pressures for women to be ‘‘perfect,’’ with 25 participants (*83 %) specifically
using the word ‘‘perfect’’ and/or ‘‘ideal.’’ The described perfection required
extensive regulation, yet is restricted to ideals of emphasized femininity [1, 13].
Through stories of popular cultural images ranging from movies and television to
magazines, women explained their perceptions of perfection as relating to being the
‘‘fairest of them all,’’ including achieving the ‘‘perfect body’’ and beyond this,
poise. Similar to Cynthia, Melissa offered models as an example of ideal looks,
while broadly accounting for pressure deriving from society for even greater holistic
expectations of ‘‘perfection’’:
I think society makes us feel like we should be perfect. You know, super fit
and thin and all that kind of stuff…have our lives together and stuff like that
and…I think that’s kind of unrealistic. …I think the perception of what we
should look like physically is the biggest thing that society is interested in.
And I think that’s wrong because everybody is different. Nobody is going to
look like a model. If I lost 100 pounds, I wouldn’t look like a supermodel. But
I feel like society makes us feel like we should. And I don’t think that’s right.
Melissa explained perceptions of physicality as taken for the most important aspect
of a woman, even while societal expectations go beyond this to overarching
pressures to ‘‘have our lives together.’’ Catherine reiterated the core importance of
physical appearance, along with demeanor by drawing from modern examples of
princesses:

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Women do want to emulate that perfect girl, which is a princess. A princess is

like that definition of a perfect girl: she has a perfect body, the poise, the
everything. So, some girls try to achieve that, you know—the Stepford wife. I
think the Stepford wife is kind of like a princess, too—she is very prim and
proper and all that stuff.3
Similarly, Marilyn explained how she viewed pressures of femininity as related to
physical appearance and sociability: ‘‘Pressures to be beautiful, to be nice, and to be
likeable. I feel like there is pressure on women to have social relationships that are
really strong and to just be very social and beautiful and those things.’’ Her
repetition of ‘‘beautiful’’ suggested the importance of physical attractiveness in the
pressure she felt to achieve feminine ideals, while the additional descriptors
emphasized the ongoing importance of a feminine demeanor. Alexandria stated her
belief that ‘‘insecurity’’ caused women to compare themselves ‘‘a lot’’:
We look at our friends and women on TV and in magazines and you say, ‘‘I
should workout more’’ or ‘‘I should be pretty like this.’’ I think it does happen
a lot…You don’t look like those princesses. They’re skinny, beautiful, their
complexion is perfect. It’s not real, but I think it affects a lot of people. It’s
kind of sad actually.
Certain women thus used princesses as an example, yet as only one example
reflective of larger social ideologies pushing them to base their perceptions of self
on emphasized feminine beauty ideals.
The combination of media images and consumerism appeared within women’s
stories as both a cause and seeming answer to such pressures. Rather than neutral
interactions with others and media portrayals, these interactions can be defined as
similar to micro-aggressions in the ways women explained seeming cumulative
effects on their identity construction [45]. Twenty-four participants (80 %)
specifically used the term ‘‘media’’ when explaining these pressures. For instance,
Gloria responded that her self-image has been affected by comparisons to other
women ‘‘Very much so. Very, very much so unfortunately. …the media definitely
had an impact, there is no doubt about it…In order to make you purchase the stuff
they are going to make you feel like crap.’’ While she stated her mother’s pressure
to lose weight was the turning point for determining ‘‘there is something wrong with
me,’’ she explained that comparisons still occur, in that ‘‘I always catch myself and
I’m like, ‘No, that’s not right, you are fine as you are. You don’t need to look like
that. They probably don’t even look like that.’’’ These stories suggest that women
made sense of these pressures as deriving from media portrayals, yet interpersonal
relationships solidified their self-appraisals. Lisa discussed the extent to which
comparisons of herself to these ideals affected her, even to the point of depression:
Has my self-image been negatively [affected]? Yeah, definitely (laughs).
There’s been so many times that I’ve looked in the mirror and I’m so upset
3
This quote refers to The Stepford Wives, a novel by Ira Levin (1972) that was later developed into a
movie of the same name in 1975 and remade in 2004. One 1975 posted stated that in the town of Stepford
‘‘every woman acts like every man’s dream of the ‘‘perfect’’ wife’’ (see, e.g. http://www.movieart.com/
stepford-wives-the-1975-5899/).

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with the way I look like: ‘‘This is not right,’’ ‘‘I don’t like this color,’’ ‘‘I don’t
like this shape,’’ and then I get depressed, because in magazines that’s not
what they look like. Why do they look beautiful and why can’t I be like them?
So definitely it’s caused a lot of depression in me at times and in other women.
I took a medicine for acne when I was younger and before I took it I had to see
a therapist, because it was known to cause depression. People kill themselves
on it and this is a medicine for appearance. I mean acne is a problem in other
ways, but it’s mostly for appearance, because I was not comfortable with
myself. …When my friend got that one pimple and they complained the whole
day, how do you think I felt when my whole face was red and oily? It’s
definitely caused harm in myself and in other women.
Women thus expressed a sense of the comparison process becoming so rooted that
they must overcome unconsciously comparing themselves to others and media
images. Adelie also specified that ideals derived from ‘‘repeated things in the media
like all of the love interests in shows. They will most likely be white. They will be
thin. They will have long hair.’’ As a source for social comparisons, women
emphasized the repetitive nature of social and media portrayals of limited
possibilities for realizing feminine perfection; media such as magazines perpetuate
idealistic images of the female body, which women explain as contributing to their
body dissatisfaction [21]. Even with the seeming increase in alternative media and
decrease in magazine subscriptions, 30 % of participants still specifically referenced
magazines in their discussions. As will be seen in discussions of competition, such
stories allude to the sense of media introducing these pressures that are then draw
from in perceived interpersonal judgments; yet, potentially reflecting a color-blind
society [6] participants shifted to explain their experiences in a way emphasizing
general traits (e.g., length of hair, poise, or weight) and away from explicit
discussions of race.
These stories reveal how women make sense of the ways in which emphasized
feminine ideals are used to judge other women, and in turn, how women use these
judgments to define themselves in comparison. While women expressed increased
consciousness of negative attributes of comparison, they also described a sense of
ongoing negotiations of these pressures they attributed to ‘‘society,’’ media
portrayals, and consumerism. Participants’ stories supported that young women feel
that, others are increasingly holding them accountable to feminine ideals through
transitions into adulthood, often perpetuating insecurities associated with achieving
femininity [3, 50]. In considering the influence of social comparisons with media
and peers, young women described one step connecting comparisons with
competition, with comparisons as the impetus for wanting to be ‘‘more’’ of
something they defined as a feminine ideal.

Competition

Women’s stories of comparisons defined restrictive feminine ideals. We argue

women’s understandings of comparisons between women suggest how such
comparisons drive the perceived perpetual competition amongst women. Promoting

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the feminine rivalry, competition is based on physical attractiveness and ‘‘beating

out’’ other women. These standards cross into interpersonal interactions and social
comparisons, affecting what women define as important to achieving feminine
ideals and their symbolic ranking in the feminine rivalry. Comparisons are thus
intertwined with competition because rather than only comparing each other for
social or cultural cues, they are used to determine one’s status in a hierarchy of
femininity. Twenty-eight participants (*93 %) used the word ‘‘best,’’ while 25
(*83 %) participants used the term ‘‘perfect,’’ in connection with competition and
comparisons. The feminine rivalry is thus fueled by competition to be the ‘‘best’’—
fulfilling feminine ideals to the greatest extent—so that comparisons and
competition remain amongst women, as they are the competitors for feminine
status markers.
Women constructed the expansiveness of comparison, to the point that they
viewed feminine rivalry as inevitable or even innate extension of comparisons
between women. While participants’ descriptions of comparisons and competition
were nuanced and complex, 33 % of participants explicitly used the terms ‘‘innate,’’
‘‘inherent,’’ and/or ‘‘natural’’ when describing perceived origins and causes of the
feminine rivalry. The majority of women described not only that women competed,
but more explicitly described the competition as between women—hence the
feminine rivalry. For example, Stephanie’s explanation of a sequence of socializa-
tion exemplified how women came to perceive the competition as innate.
Every single minute of every single day women compete with each other. I
feel like it is something that women can’t escape. It is just something that is
innately worn down…not even just innately—I just know that it is taught.
…My mom would constantly compare me to my cousin…and then you
compare yourself to women in magazines, and then women on TV, and then
women and older women in your own life, or siblings or classmates. You just
compare yourself to everybody.
From girlhood, Stephanie demonstrated the internalization of comparisons as
competition through social conditioning to the extent that it became an everyday
occurrence. Similar to this spiral of expanding competition, Gloria revealed a
broader understanding of potential causes for competition, yet still reflected a sense
of inevitability.
Now, we are getting used to the idea that women can do everything and it’s
actually that patriarchy has basically managed to make it so that they [men]
can use it to their advantage and give us more to compete about. …And you
know it’s just unfortunate—we [women] are conditioned to compete against
each other. We could probably rule the whole planet if we weren’t so
encouraged to hate each other.
Women expressed how comparisons and competition felt inherent, even if the
women did view this competition as harmful. One trait recognized as harmful
related to the competitive aspect of ‘‘sizing up’’ or ‘‘one-upping’’ other women. As
stated by Diana, ‘‘to condemn someone is to say that they are a jerk or bossy or
something of that sort,’’ so that women ‘‘will sometimes look at themselves and

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then…try to find qualities in themselves that are better than the other.’’ Therefore,
not only do gender beliefs of women being ‘‘nice’’ shape our expectations for
women [34] but it can be used to size up other women up in this competitive
femininity. For example, Lucia explained the consistency of this competition
because women compare themselves,
in a whole ton of ways. Women are comparing what they’re hair looks like
compared to everyone else. The color of their skin—even how tall they are,
which is something that they can’t really choose physically; they would have
to wear higher shoes or something like that. Just all aspects. We’re always
comparing each other. It’s just the way the world works. …I think it’s natural.
We’re always sizing other people up. It’s as natural as it can be.
The act of ‘‘sizing’’ up other women suggests determining status with regard to
femininity. The constant threat of one femininity performance being better than
another is perceived as perpetuating the feminine rivalry, driven by pressures to
achieve a heightened sense of femininity. For example, Catherine explained this
rivalry of women one-upping each other because,
women are always in a competition. Some women feel like they have to
compete with each other, instead of just encouraging each other. That is how I
feel in some relationships. I don’t wanna say necessarily relationships that I’ve
been in with friends and stuff, but you know [with] acquaintances, I have felt
that competition—like if I did something they had to one up me.
The perceived pervasiveness and naturalness of these comparisons can be seen as
tied to social conditioning from girlhood, enveloped in hegemonic gender beliefs
[38]. These narratives additionally laid the groundwork for facets of competitive
femininity, defining competition as perpetually amongst women and as leading to
the feminine rivalry. As related to social comparisons (e.g., [34]), whether or not
they desired to be a part of the competition, women felt that others would view their
actions in such a light and therefore the competition remained a part of their identity
construction. Being the best in relation to attractiveness is seen by Tia’s statement
that ‘‘of course we do [compete],’’ even though:
It sucks. But we do, yes. Absolutely. We want to be the prettiest, the fairest of
them all, the most gorgeous of them all. …I mean you see that even with…the
woman in Snow White who says, ‘‘Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the
fairest of them all?’’ I think we all have that kind of mentality maybe deep
down—I want to be pretty, I want to be the prettiest. I want everybody to look
at me.
Tia’s admission upheld that women may grow to desire to be the center of attention
in relation to the ‘‘princess culture’’, while also offering insight into how
participants perceived social pressures to ‘‘beat out’’ women in the feminine
rivalry. Helping to express the connections between comparisons and competition,
Lucia discussed how even though she believed it is ‘‘nice to treat yourself’’ every
once in a while, society still sends a message that encourages competition to be the
best,

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you gotta be thinner, so that you become beautiful, and you have to have the
best makeup in order to be beautiful—or be more beautiful than other
women—or stuff like that. …Society’s always putting pressure on people to
look like a certain body type or have a certain hair type so that they can be
beautiful as the rest of them.
Accordingly, comparisons and competition derive from these narrow definitions of
becoming the best at each of these components of beauty and demeanor rather than
a sense of natural beauty or uniqueness. Being beautiful is a feminine ideal—a goal
towards which women must work. Even so, femininity is multidimensional, so that
even as they strive to be ‘‘more’’ in the area of the body, they are still working to
manage their femininity in other facets, including relationships. As emphasized in
relation to the influence of society, women feel pressure to be ‘more’ of a feminine
ideal—even if this means less in relation to weight—and associate achieving such
goals as leading to happiness. This can also be seen in Sara’s enthusiastic response
that women compare themselves with,
Oh good god, everyone. I mean it is big, you are always looking at that person
is prettier than me or that person is skinnier than me or that person is you know
more intelligent or richer or I don’t know, she has got bigger boobs or she is
more in shape than me or everything like that and I feel like it is
exhausting…but everyone does it and you are never truly happy with what
you’ve got because you are always looking as if the grass is greener. But I feel
like it is very physical what people compare themselves to—it is not
necessarily that this person has more love than me or anything like that. I feel
like it is more of a like a physical thing or, not necessarily like a physical
appearance, but like a ‘oh, she has got the bag that I want’ or she has got the
clothes that I want and everything. It is not necessarily who the person is, it is
what the person has and what they look like.
Sara discussed how such comparisons may cause women to not be happy, yet this is
in part due to beliefs that the ‘‘grass is always greener,’’ describing a sense that there
is always more femininity to achieve and thus more accompanying happiness.
Upholding Aronson’s [3] work on emerging adulthood, which showed young
women partially adopting feminist attitudes as they transition to adulthood, Heather
also described an increasingly critical perspective of media and consumerism as
harmful influences and perpetuating competition because,
media puts this idea in your head, or just our culture in general, puts that idea
in your head that you are not good enough, because I mean that’s what
consumerism is based on (laughs). This product, or this hair dye, or this
fashion statement will make you feel more ‘‘like you’’ and make you feel
unique. Or it will make you feel like the celebrity who is using it and that’s
basically consumerism and that puts your idea in your head that you are not
good enough and you have to be like someone else…Absolutely we are
always competing because then…the ultimate, the deeper root of it is that we
are competing for happiness or acceptance…so like media or fashion or
anything saying that you can find that happiness and acceptance here and so

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then we go to that, but then something new comes out or we see something
else and they look happier and they have like that type of shirt. So if I get that
shirt I will have that happiness and acceptance.
By defining femininity as ‘‘things,’’ women can then have seemingly objective
markers for their place in the hierarchy of femininity; in a sense, reifying status
markers of feminine ideals. Such findings suggest emphasized feminine ideals as a
restrictive force in college women’s construction of life goals through emerging
adulthood [1]. In these ways, competition revolves around women comparing
themselves to other women, so that competition remains within the realm of
femininity.
Within the feminine rivalry, women not only compare themselves to other
women, but described feeling pressures that other women compare them amongst
and to other women in an additional form of competition. Utilizing examples from
the ‘‘princess culture’’, Olivia demonstrated the maintenance of appearance relates
to controlling status, as women can judge others as exhibiting a ‘‘lesser’’ femininity
when not constantly appearing perfect,
Because we need to feel like we are the Miss Popular. Like Cinderella wasn’t
Miss Popular at first, but she was the best at the ball and Cinderella was the
greatest of them all. … Like they were the best and we need to feel like we are
too. So how does this show in everyday life? Even on Facebook I saw
someone post a status saying, ‘‘I don’t understand why women go out looking
like crap.’’ My first thought was, ‘‘How does that bother you?’’ If I’m in
sweatpants and a t-shirt and my hair looks a mess, that’s good for you because
that means more people are going to be looking at you than at me. She may not
even want that [the attention]….How is it any of your business what I’m
dressing like? And why do you feel the need to post about it on Facebook? It’s
like people constantly feel the need to be dressed up, makeup done, hair
done…We’re constantly competing about who’s prettier, who’s better at blah
blah blah, who can do this, who can do that, and who can do it better?
Olivia constructed the expectation of non-stop perfection, expressing an under-
standing of how her appearance would be judged competitively. Her discussion
reiterated the singularity of the feminine rivalry, drawing from media portrayals;
because there is ‘‘the’’ Miss Popular, competition derives from the exclusivity for
one person to be the best or the fairest of them all. Abstract others, such as
princesses and models, are not perceived as the primary or only cause of pressures
to achieve feminine ideals, but as outlets exemplifying and upholding seemingly
omnipresent feminine ideals. Lucia expanded on this, putting forth that to
understand competition:
You’ve got to look at the models. They’re competing for sure…I guess you
can say that the ‘‘princess culture’’ relates a lot to looks. So…when models are
competing against each other, they’re competing against each other in
physical appearance because that first impression is a physical appearance.
They gotta look as best as they can so that they can beat out the rest of the
women.

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Women draw from these media examples to help explain a feminine rivalry, where
one femininity performance can be bolstered by a mere step to diminish another’s.
These stories suggested connections in that women explained comparisons through
comparing themselves to other female figures—whether celebrities, peers, or other
fictional characters, but also suggested these comparisons were used to determine
and better positions in a hierarchy of femininity. Because competition is amongst
women, women expressed the pressures they felt surrounding their physical
appearance as important to impressing other women (e.g., [46]) and meeting other
women’s standards of what is impressive.
Relationships. Although prior research emphasizes the centrality of obtaining a
partner to beauty work [8, 22], we found that certain women explicitly discussed
competition over men, yet they did not state it was the only reason for striving to
achieve feminine ideals or competition amongst women. Instead, their narratives
couched discussions of men within a feminine rivalry that holds achieving idealized
femininity, and accordingly gaining happiness, as their primary goals. While
nuanced, women made sense of the attention of men as reflecting their successful
attainment of a core goal of feminine ideals—physical beauty—rather than as
successful beauty work resulting in obtaining a partner. Consequently, ‘‘winning’’ a
man over another woman is competitive in nature, but explained as only one marker
of their overall achievement of femininity.
Arguably, the perception of competition as situated amongst women and the
ultimate goal as appearing to the best at femininity can obscure the rules of the
game, at least in part, derive from a gendered system supporting fulfilment of the
male gaze. For instance, Melissa interjected a point on men, stating that
‘‘ultimately’’ women are competing with other women. She stated that women
compete,
I think [in] every way. I mean, a lot of them might not like to admit that but
…women don’t really dress that way to impress men…they do it to compete
with other women and they compare themselves with other women. …Like
when you…buy a nice shirt, you buy it because you like it. It’s cool but you
are trying to compete with other women when you go out…that’s what I think
about when we dress the way we dress or we act the way we act…If it’s for
men’s attention, men are a one-track mind kind of thing. So when we dress
really nice, we are dressing to compete for other women that are out—not the
guy… Interviewer: Explain to me more about dressing for other women.
…Realistically, these men do not care what dresses are on a woman, but the
women are wearing those dresses to look better than the other women to get
the attention of the men. But ultimately, you are competing with other women.
…I mean men are visual—they are going to see you whether your dress is
black, or red, or blue.
Attracting a man’s attention can be defined as one status marker within the
overarching feminine rivalry, so that beauty, appearance, and impressing competi-
tors (women) are core components of the competition. These stories support Wolf’s

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[51, p. 287] argument that women currently dress up ‘‘for other women’’ as a
‘‘negative offering of the self’’ to be judged or envied. Marilyn similarly stated:
I feel like women are just so attuned into how women look…they are more
likely to be scrutinizing other women based on their appearance…because
women will notice another woman’s make up or notice their clothes more so
than men will notice those things. I think in that way women perpetuate it
[importance of appearance], but I think that from since such a young age
where we idolize beauty, that is why.
Like Melissa, Marilyn agreed with the notion of social conditioning for women to
compete amongst each other rather than to exclusively impress men, even though
they are ultimately judging themselves according to standards that in part reflect a
male gaze [30]. For instance, ongoing educational and outreach programs highlight
manifestations of ‘‘involuntary internalization’’ of sexism include ‘‘self-doubt…-
self-censorship, plus doubt or mistrust of and competition with other women’’ [9],
along with the process of blaming and disliking themselves or other women [40].
This promotes divisiveness amongst women as they are viewed as competitors in
the rivalry; although women initially acknowledge ‘‘society’’ as creating these
standards, societal standards of the feminine ideal are not only better understood by
women than by men and the performance of femininity is more highly scrutinized
by other women. Rose’s stated that women compete,
Well, in every way. Their bodies—I would say it is mainly their body and
maybe the things they have. Yeah, things they have and I guess depending on
what type of woman you are probably their relationships, too, like ‘‘Oh my
gosh… she has the best relationship,’’ you know, ‘‘I wish my relationship was
like that.’’
Rose more or less consciously put forth a hierarchy of feminine ideals building from
the body, to ‘‘things they have,’’ to relationships. This is suggestive of the
importance of beauty work and women’s understandings of it affecting their ability
to thusly obtain things and relationships, suggesting relationships are perceived as
only one status marker in the feminine rivalry.
At other times, women more specifically described the importance of attracting
men as one way to reach their goals. Alexandria described the influence of popular
culture and beauty, upholding how the desire to be the best can lead to competition:
I guess there’s competition to get a certain guy. That happens sometimes in
princess movies. And like the most beautiful woman gets the best guy, which
is kind of dumb. We compete with each other for that.
Marilyn’s explanation of love as one way of obtaining a woman’s goals summarizes
the perceived place of men in the overarching competition:
I don’t think that that is good but I think it exists, that ideal of competition,
because I think that women see that they can achieve their goals through love
and that sort of thing—through being beautiful—and that is where the
stereotype of cattiness comes from.

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As related to views of the ‘‘grass is greener,’’ women’s stories made sense of how
women themselves perpetuated competition amongst women, as they perceived
achieving feminine ideals as parallel to achieving their goals. Closely matching the
beauty ideal is explained as the way to attain the best man available, with
‘‘winning’’ a man as one marker to show they are closer to being the ‘‘best’’ at
certain categories of the feminine rivalry. Lisa’s description supported that women
made sense of the rivalry through supporting that even ideals deemed unrealistic as
preferences of men [5]. She described the ‘‘nasty’’ and ‘‘sinister’’ side of
competition derived from competition to prove themselves to be the best:
…instead of being like, ‘‘Well, maybe he won’t love me, but he could love
her,’’ the women will be like, ‘‘That’s not happening. I’m going to steal that
guy from that girl, because I’m prettier than her. I’m better than her, and I
want him.’’ So it’s again this sick, twisted—like evil. It’s like an evil princess;
they need to be the best. They want the cutest guy and a lot of women will go
out of their way. They will have no respect for the girlfriend. They will take
the guy knowing he’s married or knowing something and just because they
want them for themselves, because they ‘deserve the best,’ because they are
the most beautiful, but they forget that it’s the inside that counts.
While distancing from this ‘‘evil’’ side of the competition, Lisa’s explanation
suggested that ‘‘winning’’ a married man can be defined as winning an even greater
challenge, thus proving their higher status in the feminine rivalry. Striving for
femininity in order to attract the best partner can therefore continue even when
women are ‘off the market’ [27], supporting the perception of perpetual
competition. In turn, attracting a man is the marker of femininity supporting the
status achievement among women.
Arguably, ‘‘society’’ represents the felt influence of an ongoing patriarchal
structure, with certain participants even defining it as such. Adelie offered such an
exception, as she specified that competition between women can also be understood
as a result of desiring a specific man’s attention because of,
…the whole patriarchy thing, where we are taught that a man’s attention is the
most important thing, like a man being attracted to you makes you worthwhile.
So that is why we compete with each other. And whenever you have two girl
best friends [who] have a crush on the same guy, everything seems to go
wrong, because they are always competing and it seems like I have seen that
happen in real life too.
Specifying how women are taught that a man’s attention is the ‘‘most important
thing,’’ Adelie explained how this still supported the importance of winning over
another woman. Overall, a feminine ideal of perfection is targeted as creating this
competition; their narratives reveal how certain women can be perceived as better
(i.e. more feminine) than others and gain status as a result. Competition for men,
therefore, is just one component within these women’s stories of the broader
perpetual competition, although it arguably can be a marker of successful fulfillment
of feminine ideals of physical appearance and demeanor.

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Women’s stories put forth that comparisons inherently lead to competition

because comparisons are not only used for social cues; they are used to determine
one’s status in a hierarchy of femininity. Women’s explanations of the practice of
one-upping suggest a hierarchy of femininity, suggesting that women compete to
appear more feminine than other women and achieve goals shaped by feminine
ideals. Alongside West and Zimmerman’s [49] assertion that gender is an achieved
status and Butler’s [7] contention that there is a spectrum of gender performance, we
argue that the feminine rivalry is a socially-conditioned, ongoing challenge. Young
women made sense of their and others’ desires to be better than other women
through stories of ideals they were introduced to as a child into their college years.
They indicated these societal ideals contributed to an unwanted habit of
comparisons and provided measurements by which to judge themselves in relation
to others and vice versa.

Conclusion

Through interviews with college-aged women, our study examines how young
collegiate women understand relational dynamics between women, including the
origins and effects of comparisons and competition. We contribute to research on
social comparison processes and feminine ideals by putting forth how restrictive,
emphasized constructs of feminine ideals are perceived as driving interpersonal
competition amongst women. We define ongoing comparisons and competition in
the process of negotiating feminine ideals as the feminine rivalry. Each woman in
our study emphatically agreed that women compared themselves to each other,
offering a sense that achieving femininity is a compulsory and multidimensional
goal, yet a zero-sum game. We put forth that competition derives from comparisons,
as being the best is the ultimate goal, yet being the best is perceived as being the
closest to feminine perfection and thus better than other women. Such pressures,
therefore, not only cause constant comparisons to understand where they rank, but
also lead to a sense of winners and losers in the game of achieving feminine ideals.
This study contributes to women’s voiced understandings of how media and
consumerism influences interpersonal dynamics. Participants perceive ‘‘society’’ as
generating pressures on women to be perfect, with ideals based in physical
appearance and demeanor. Media and marketing images put forth ideals of what it
means to be a perfect woman, creating expectations that can directly affect how a
woman acts and views herself. Our participants attributed sources of the feminine
rivalry as deriving from ‘‘society’’ at large, peers, and media—magazines, television
shows, commercialized products, and a princess culture. As perfection appears a
goal of femininity, femininity is not only a performance but a performance attempt,
since societal standards for true femininity are arguably unattainable. Participants,
in turn, constructed comparisons as seemingly inherent and inextricably intertwined
with competition.
The process of understanding comparisons as deriving from societal ideals of
femininity may help young women to define external pressures, yet their

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explanations of competition appear to explain how young women themselves

perpetuate competition. Women constructed physical appearance, as related to the
body, as the main sight for displaying femininity and thus a main point from which
to draw comparisons. Although participants appeared to distance from the feminine
rivalry to differing extents, all explained how this comparison affected their self-
image. These college-aged women explained a seemingly constant evaluation and
negotiation of their own femininity in comparison to other women including peers
and those in the media who represent modern-day princesses. They made sense of
such comparisons by describing these negotiations as ultimately a quest to obtain
happiness by meeting societal expectations, driven by a combination of perfection-
seeking and consumerism. Accordingly, these college-aged women explained
actions they or others take in their daily lives to attempt to strengthen or secure their
position on a femininity strata in such a way that it seems natural. Upholding Currie
et al’s [16] assertion that femininity is neither automatic nor secure, these women
routinely engage in competitive femininity to the point that it appears automatic. As
with Milkie [34], competition can be seen as arguably a result of reflected appraisal
that is then acted upon. While women may experience self-image issues as a result
of this, their stories suggest that college marks a time when women are rebuilding
their own definitions of their emerging adult identities and separating from their
youthful identities. Nevertheless, they may experience guilt as they continue to
adhere to seeking femininity goals outwardly in order to be accepted, which
indicates ongoing negotiations of self-definition and outward actions in college. In
this way, they may continue to feel media and peer pressures of ideals, even though
they have begun to think differently about themselves.
While further research is needed to better determine what causes certain women
to feel they have grown out of competition, it is possible that women do consider the
media to reflect others’ expectations and how others view them, so they continue to
follow it even while disagreeing. These stories also suggest women constructed
these goals as a key to obtaining happiness, helping to offer explanations for why
the feminine rivalry holds such extreme influence over women’s gendered identity
construction. It may also result in a lack of other examples to follow or perceived
support for change, even if there is a desire to separate from this competition for
perfection.
While young women defined men as a point of competition, they remain only one
component of gendered identity construction and one status marker in the
overarching competition. In relation to a potential limitation of this study, due to
the focus on similarities across participants, future research can draw from an
intersectional approach to more thoroughly examine the intersections of race, class,
sexual identification in relation to comparisons and competition within—and
potentially in comparison to outside of—the higher education context. Though in
the heterosexual context, it may seem that a man’s judgment is more important
about whether a woman meets a standard, the evidence shows that women’s
opinions may mean more because they better understand the feminine ideal and the
struggles related to it. Attracting a partner is also an ongoing process even after
securing a partner due to this constant feminine rivalry. Additional research can
examine how this feminine rivalry and related hegemonic feminine ideals are

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negotiated by women of color in the US context, in which cultural ideologies have

derived from and for a white majority. Findings from this study are suggestive of a
color-blind discourse, as the overall lack of explicit discussion connecting race/
ethnicity and competition, could be telling. Discussions of traits that correspond
with race (e.g., blonde hair, blue eyes) at times were framed through a broader
cultural ideal, rather than specified as ideals adopted by the participants themselves.
Arguably, this could allow experiences to be discussed in the form of general traits
(e.g., length of hair, weight, poise), that shifts narratives from explicitly addressing
race.
In the end, such seemingly contradictory stereotypes of women as both ‘‘nice’’
and ‘‘catty’’ may in part derive from this gender game, as interpersonal competition
appears to arise through attempts to successfully appear the most feminine. This
could relate to relational aggressions in that women can feel the need to not only
appear ‘‘nice,’’ but competitively appear the nicest. Stories explaining competition
amongst women thus suggest parallels to stereotypes of men as naturally
competitive, yet women’s competition remains constrained to feminine realms of
interpersonal connections—potentially, in part, because they are expected to be the
strongest and most invested in these interpersonal relationships (e.g., [26]) Until a
hierarchy of femininity is redefined, young women will seemingly feel pressures to
compare themselves in relation other women in a competitive fashion. Such
practices can leave women in a precarious place, as they perceive pressures to
follow such feminine ideals acting in ways acceptable to and supportive of male
counterparts even while recognizing competition related to a beauty myth as
divisively keeping women separated [13, 51].

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