RUINED

A SHE WHO DARES NOVEL

BY LP LOVELL

Copyright © LP Lovell 2015

 PROLOGUE
I feel sick… and stupid. Really stupid.
Hugo smiles at me cockily, but the usual teasing glint in his eye is missing. He drags his hand
through his messy blonde hair, the muscles of his bare torso flexing in a way that can make a woman
lose all her inhibitions. And I have, willingly. Many times.
I glance at the girl who is tied to the bed, her wrists bound to the metal frame. She’s panting, her
skin flushed in an all too familiar post orgasmic glow.
“You brought a friend?” She gasps, with a sensual smile. “That’ll cost you more.” She raises a
perfectly plucked eyebrow.
His eyes never leave mine as I stand there in the doorway mutely. I should have expected this but I
didn’t. Hugo and I are, well, what I suppose you could call friends with benefits. He’s an absolute
dog. He’s the guy mothers warn their daughters about. He will fuck you and chuck you without a
backward glance. He’ll leave you trembling and begging for more, but he will leave you nonetheless.
The thing is though, I knew all of this before I ever spread my legs for him. I trusted that I could guard
myself against him, and embrace all the orgasms he had to offer me. What I didn’t realise is just how
infectious he is. He’s always smiling, quick to laugh, and captivating to be around. Hugo is…
liberating, a walk on the wild side. He’s the dance with danger that girls like me crave.
He’s an animal though. I have told myself this a thousand times. Every time I fuck him, I swear it
will be the last, but he seduces me mind and body. He gives me something that I didn’t even know I
needed, and now I crave it. I’m an intelligent woman, and yet when it comes to him, I’m so incredibly
stupid. As proved by the naked body currently tied to his bed, whilst I’m standing here in the doorway
like a total twat.
“You can join in if you want sweetness.” He winks at me, his blue eyes dancing wickedly. I
glance at the whore on the bed and fight the urge to vomit. Really?
“I’m not into sharing, but thanks. I’m sure she cost a pretty penny.” I nod towards the hooker, a
mocking smile on my face.
He steps toward me, closing the space between us and wrapping his hand around the back of my
neck. My skin tingles and my heart kicks up a gear. Everything about him is so overtly sexual. Fuck.
Even with a bloody hooker in the room he can still make my body want him. Bastard.
He leans forward until his lips brush my ear. “She did.” He whispers. “But she’s still not as good
as you. Come and show her how it’s done.” I can hear the smile in his voice.
I take a deep breath and step out of his grasp. Enough is enough. I can’t play these games. I’m not
like him. I’m the good girl, the one that will get hurt, and he…he’s as bad as it gets. It’s time to walk
away.
I muster as much front as I can and meet his eyes. “Well that is a shame then. I was going to say
that I hope she was worth it. Apparently not.” I shrug.
I don’t wait for his response.
I turn on my designer heel and stride out of the sleek apartment over-looking the Thames. I’m
done.
If you play with fire, you will get burned. Lesson learned.
 CHAPTER ONE
HUGO
Two months later…

“So you own this club?”

I smirk, and glance at her bottom lip where she’s chewing it nervously. I can’t remember her
name. Wait, did I even ask? Doubtful. “I do.”
She smiles. If there is one sure fire way into a woman’s pants, it’s money. Fuck knows why. I’m
hardly going to buy her a car for her efforts. She follows me, as we move away from the main part of
the club. My bloody security team had issues and needed to use the office, which means my fuck pad
is out of order. I figure the corridor by the fire escape is good enough. Hell, I’d fuck her in the middle
of the club. I don’t care. She might though, and the last thing I need is a guaranteed lay getting pissed
off because I tried to make her blow me in the VIP section.
I turn and press her up against the wall. I have the boner from hell. Rambo is fucking gagging for a
ride. She gasps, and grins as I press her back into the wall. She’s not my usual type, not that I really
have a type. I don’t discriminate when it comes to pussy. I do however tend to lean towards the nasty
ones. I like a girl who fucks like a hooker who needs to make rent. This one…well, she’s a little on
the innocent side, young looking, but she’ll do.
I push her long blonde hair off her shoulder, and kiss her neck until she’s squirming and panting
like a bitch in heat. She may be innocent, but my cock is fucking dying here. I yank her skirt up her
legs quickly and her breath hitches in my ear.
“Don’t worry baby.” I tell her. “I promise I’ll make you feel so fucking good.” I bite her earlobe
and she all but hands herself to me on a silver platter. She’s about to get an education. I unbutton my
jeans and yank them down just enough to release my cock. I grab her thighs and lift her. Her legs part
around my hips, the innocent turning corrupt. I fucking love it.
I pull her underwear to the side, and dive into her in one thrust. She’s soaking wet, and I groan,
leaning my forearm against the wall next to her head. “Fuck!” I hiss.
“I never do this.” She mumbles through a moan. “I’m not like this.”
I laugh. “Sweetheart, you are like this.” I pull back and thrust forward, making her tremble.
“Don’t be ashamed.” I breathe against her flushed skin. I skim my teeth up the side of her throat, and
she tilts her head to the side, giving me better access. “Under that innocent little face, there’s a dirty
slut who’s been waiting to come out and play.” I say against her ear, as I thrust against her repeatedly.
Usually I’m not all that bothered about getting women off. At least not the ones I fuck in a corridor.
This one though, I feel she needs a lesson. She needs to realise that being good, well it’s just no fun.
Being bad is so much more pleasurable.
She moans, her back bowing off the wall. I rip her top down, exposing one perfect rosy nipple. I
duck my head and suck on it. Fuck, I love sucking a good pair of titties. Within seconds, she’s coming
apart, screaming my name. Huh, she knows my name. Her body clenches and trembles in what looks
like an epic orgasm. When she stops screaming like a fucking banshee, I hear the series of catcalls
and wolf whistles coming down the corridor. I glance up to see a group of guys all shouting.
I laugh, because I have no shame. Little miss innocence however, can’t seem to move quick
enough.
I laugh as she slaps at my chest. “Calm your shit Princess. What, you don’t like a little audience?”
 “No!” She snaps as I put her back on her feet. See, this is why I like the nasty ones, they’d just
keep right on going, and get hot for it in the process.
I step forward, crushing her to the wall. “Ah, don’t go getting shy on me now.” I cock an eyebrow
at her, but I can see she’s not playing ball. My balls feel like they’re about to fucking explode. Fuck it.
I take her arm and drag her to the fire exit as she struggles to pull her top up, and her skirt down.
I press the bar that releases the fire door, and step outside into the alley that runs along the side of
the club. It connects to the main road in front of the club, but no-one ever comes down here…unless
they’re having a dirty quickie.
“You want to have sex out here?” She asks nervously.
I smirk at her as I trail my fingers across her collar bone, she softens slightly, relaxing into my
touch. “No sweetheart. I want you to make me come, and I don’t care how you do it. The dirtier the
better.” I whisper in her ear. “Nothing turns me on more than a girl on her knees.”
She hesitates for a moment, but I’ll give it to her, she’s keen to please. She drops to her knees in
front of my still hard, still exposed cock, and wraps her lips around me.
I clasp my hands behind my head, and groan as her hot, wet tongue traces the length of my cock.
Her hands cling to my thighs as she balances on her high heels. She tries to take all of me, but well…
Rambo’s a big boy, and good girls like her don’t deep throat.
My balls are aching, fucking desperate to explode in her mouth. Fuck it. I grab a fistful of her hair,
and thrust forward. Holy fuck. I groan as my cock hits the back of her throat. She gags, and coats my
cock in a layer of spit. Fuck yes! I pull back and thrust forward, making her gag again. I give it to her,
she doesn’t try to pull away. My cock twitches in response. I’m this fucking close to exploding down
her throat. So close…and then I hear a throat clear beside me. She tries to pull away from me, but I
keep my hand firmly on the back of her head.
“Can I help you?” I grit out.
“Sir, could you please stop….that.” A serious voice says.
I glance to the side and find a policeman standing a few feet away with a stern scowl on his face.
“Just give me thirty seconds.” I say holding up a finger.
“Now sir.” He interrupts. “Miss, please stand up.” For fucks sake. My balls are going to drop off
at this rate.
“Fucking cock block.” I grumble.
She staggers to her feet, her face turning bright red as she studies the ground. I shove my painfully
hard cock back in my jeans and zip them up. This is so not comfortable right now. The policeman
gives the girl a quick once over, as another officer appears from somewhere behind him. “You one of
Jimmy’s girls?” New guy asks. She doesn’t answer.
I snort. “Of course she’s not. Does she look like one of Jimmy’s to you?” I roll my eyes, Jimmy is
a pimp. He runs a few girls around here. They’re dirty, like really dirty. Hell, you can fuck them up
the arse for fifty quid.
The first guy glances at me. “So you’re familiar with Jimmy.”
“Sure, I’m kicking his girls out of my club all the time.” I snap. I pull a packet of cigarettes out of
my pocket and take one out. I place it between my lips and light it. I take a long drag and savour the
burning sensation in my lungs. I don’t always smoke, it’s more of a stress reliever, but if my balls
don’t get some relief soon, I may just end up chain smoking. My hands shake as I lift it to my lips.
Shit, I’m worked up.
He eyes the door behind us. “You own Allure?”
I sigh. “Yes, look she’s not a hooker, so there’s no problem here is there? Other than the fact that I
now really need to blow a load.”
He clearly doesn’t have a sense of humour. “Sir, you are under arrest for indecent exposure.”
“Um, I’m pretty sure I’d have to have been exposing myself, and seeing as my cock was in her
mouth, it wasn’t exposed.” I point out, as I take another slow drag of the cigarette, the ember glowing
brightly in the dim lighting at the back of the club.
“Sir, please turn around and put your hands behind your back.” Well, isn’t he just a barrel of
fucking laughs. Hell, this isn’t my first time in a pair of cuffs, and it won’t be the last. I take two quick
drags on my cigarette and throw it to the ground. I turn around and put my hands behind my back.
“As you wish boys.” God, they just love their little power trips. Get one up on the rich prick
getting blown, because their fucking wives probably stopped putting out years ago. Arseholes.

I’m sitting in one of those benign interrogation rooms, bored out of my fucking head when I hear
the door click open. Claudia Weston strolls in, wearing her six inch heals, expensive suit, and take no
shit attitude. She’s all of five foot two, and is the scariest woman I’ve ever met. She’s like a pit bull
dressed in Prada. As scary as she is though, I find her kind of hot. She’s very… domineering. She’s
also the best criminal defence attorney in London, and has been getting me out of shit for years.
“Again Hugo?” She snaps.
I sigh. “Look it wasn’t…”
She holds her hand up, cutting me off. “I don’t fucking care what you were doing with your cock.
It would be far too much to ask that you keep it in your pants.” She growls.
“Jesus, what has you so pissed this morning?” I grumble.
“Oh, let me guess.” She cocks an eyebrow at me.
I lay my forehead down on the table in front of me. “Ugh, not now Claudia. Please just get me out.
I’ve spent the last six hours in a cell, I’m hungry, horny as fuck, and I have a hangover kicking in.”
“A pretty standard morning then, by all accounts.” She adds.
I lift my head and scowl at her. “Why am I still here?”
She pulls out the chair across from me and sits, crossing her legs. “It’s not as simple as just
walking out of here with a warning this time.”
“What? Why?”
“Because this is the third fucking time you’ve done this.” She growls. “They are going to charge
you this time….unless…”
“Unless what?” I can’t be dealing with charges. I could probably buy my way out of it, but it’s
still a bloody hassle.
She purses her bright red lips. “I may be able to plead to a judge that you have a problem. A sex
problem.”
I snort. “Like a sex addiction?” She nods. I laugh.
“This is serious Hugo.” She snaps.
I shrug. “Sure. I do love pussy. Why the hell not?”
She rolls her eyes. “They will order you to attend therapy.”
That pulls me up short. “Like kumbaya circles and talking about feelings and shit?”
Her lips kick up in that shark like smile of hers. “Something like that.” I shudder. God, it’s enough
to make me want to stab myself in the eye. “You may even have to do jail time otherwise.” She smiles
wider. “Or community service.”
Community service, like dealing with the general public, and wearing a jump suit or some shit?
“Oh, fuck no. Not happening. I’ll do the whole touchy feelings shit.”
 She smiles and stands abruptly. “Good. Until then, you are free to go on bail.”
I get out of that place as fast as my legs can carry me. Shit, I’ve got no money on me, and my
phone is dead.
I manage to borrow the police station phone to call Theo, my best friend. He picks up on the
second ring.
“Ellis.” He snaps. Miserable prick.
“Hey, it’s me. I need a little help.”
His tone of voice changes instantly when he hears it’s me. “What have you done now?” He asks
with amusement.
“I might have gotten myself arrested.”
He laughs. “Wait, wait, let me guess. Drunk and disorderly?”
“Nope. You suck.”
“Sex in public?”
“Maybe. Damn it.” Fucking arsehole.
He snorts. “You are so fucking predictable dude. Who was she?” He asks.
“How the fuck should I know?”
He laughs again. “Okay, what do you need?”
“I didn’t have any money on me when they took me in, and I need a lift.” I grumble. Typical that I
would pop out for a quickie and leave my wallet and phone in my office. Theo will always help me
out though, it’s fine.
“Okay. Shit, I have a meeting in ten minutes. I’ll call Lilly, she’ll come and get you.” I smile.
“Well, she will certainly make for a prettier sight than you this morning.” Lilly is Theo’s girl,
well, his fiancé, god that creeps me the fuck out. I suppose if you were ever going to hand your balls
on a silver platter to anyone, it would be that girl. She looks like a fucking porn star. Theo’s turned
into a total pussy bitch since he met her though. That guy used to have his pick. He could walk into
any room and have any woman in it. Hell, happily married women used to lose all their moral’s with
one glance at that fucker. All that potential, all that pussy, just wasted. She must have a pussy of
fucking gold.
He snorts. “She’s in a bad mood because she’s having to go dress shopping. Don’t piss her off.
You know you will lose.” With those parting words, he hangs up.
 CHAPTER TWO
MOLLY
I blanch as I look at the racks full of white and ivory dresses in lace and satin. How are you
supposed to pick one?
I glance to my left, as my best friend Lilly stares into the sea of bridal hell. “I think I’m about to
break out in hives.” She grumbles.
I laugh. I never thought I would see the day when my train wreck of a friend would be looking at
wedding dresses. She’s not exactly the romantic type. Until recently, the longest standing relationship
she’d ever had was exactly one weekend, at which point she waved him off, never to be seen again.
That all changed the moment she met her match in the form of tall, dark, handsome and rich, Theo
Ellis. He’s every woman’s dream man, but he only has eyes for my live wire friend. They’re perfect
together. He gets her crazy, and he balances it out. Not an easy task. I should know, I’ve been doing it
for years.
She pinches a piece of satin. “These are just so…much.”
“Lill’s, you’re getting married, it’s supposed to be ‘much’.” I roll my eyes.
She huffs a sigh, flicking her mane of red waves over her shoulder. “Okay, you pick one. Let’s get
this shit over with.” Whatever the opposite of a romanticist is…that’s Lilly. She’d happily go to a
registry office, but given who Theo is, she’s indulging him in a big wedding. I have a feeling heavy
drinking may be involved.
Cat, Theo’s sister, and I have been doing most of the wedding planning. Yes, I’m that girl, the one
who wants to marry Prince Charming and have babies. I love this stuff, and I secretly love that Lilly
has no interest so I can go wild with her wedding. The no-budget factor also helps.
I scan the racks and pick out the simplest dress I can find. It’s strapless, and fitted all the way past
the hips, with a subtle flair to the skirt. “Here, try this.”
The shop assistant hurries forward to take the dress from me. She’s been hovering since we came
in here, keen to sell Lilly the most expensive dress she can find, no doubt. Hell, I would if I were her.
One look at that rock on Lilly’s finger and she probably thinks she can hit her yearly bonus. She
bustles away, beckoning Lilly to follow her into the back of the shop. This is one of those overly
pretentious bridal shops. There are chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, and soft classical music is
playing in the background.
Ten minutes later and Lilly is wearing a scowl that has me laughing hard.
“I look so fucking…virginal.” She says. I cover my laugh as the shop assistant doesn’t know
where to look. Lilly looks very prim, but she has a mouth like a sailor.
“Again, Lill’s, you’re supposed to. If it’s any consolation, you look beautiful.” She really does.
Lilly has a figure that makes men forget all their faculties. She’s athletic and toned, but with curves in
all the right places. Her hair is a mane of red waves that act like a warning beacon to her quick
temper. I’ve known her since we were in nursery, and I’ve been talking her down from her temper
tantrums and drinking benders for years.
Her phone rings in her handbag, and she manages to shuffle all that white satin over to retrieve it.
Her face morphs into a small smile, which means its Theo.
“Hey.” She grins. There’s a pause. “Really? What did he do this time?” Another pause before she
laughs. “Okay, I’ll go get him.” She rolls her eyes, a grin still pulling at her lips. “You owe me.” I
can’t hear his response, but I can guess what he owes her. “Love you, too. Bye.” She hangs up.
 “We have to go.” She says with a sly grin. She’s out of the dress and ready to leave in record
time.
“You do realise that you are going to have to get a dress at some point, Lilly.” This is our third
attempt at this. Lilly gets bored after two dresses and insists that she still has lots of time.
“I have loads of time.” She waves me up.
I swear I can feel my eye twitching. Why can’t she just be a normal girl? “Six months is not a long
time!”
“Ugh. It will be fine.” She rolls her eyes and grabs my arm, dragging me out of the shop. “Come
on Mole. We have to go help out the king douche.” She says leading me into the coffee shop next to
the dress shop.
“That being?”
“Hugo of course.” She says as though that should be blindingly obvious.
Great. Here we go.
We grab coffee and walk the short distance to the car. The doors click open and I climb into the
enormous Range Rover.
“Where are we going?” I ask as I settle into the leather seat. The aroma of coffee fills the car. I
love the stuff, and Lilly…well, that girl should just be hooked up to a drip.
“The police station. He got arrested last night.” She says with amusement.
Hugo. Where to start? Hugo is Theo’s best friend. The first time I met Hugo, he was running in
Hyde Park with Theo. He was topless and sweaty, sporting that sexy as sin smirk of his. I swear my
underwear practically melted on the spot. Lilly and I ended up at a party in his apartment that night,
and, yeah, I fucked him. You don’t have to tell me how cliché it is to fuck your best friends,
boyfriend’s, friend. I know.
I’m not really a one night stand kind of girl, but well it’s Hugo. He just promises dirty, sheet
clawing sex, with one look…and boy does he deliver. And so it began, my addiction to Hugo
Harrison, the man whore to end all man whores. It was stupid, and unlike me, but at the time I figured
it was just a bit of fun.
I’m usually looking for the next great romance. I’ll admit that I believe in ‘the one’, and am
determined to find him. I don’t waste my time with men who I don’t believe I have a future with.
Except him. There was never ever a future there, but for once I let go of the bigger picture and held
onto the here and now.
What I did not bank on - was the fact that I would actually come to like the filthy prick. I found
him…refreshing. He doesn’t adhere to anyone else’s standards, and in his own way, he made me feel
special without ever even realising he was doing it. He made me feel free. He made me laugh, and I
grew to like him.
Stupidly, I told him so. I didn’t even mean anything by it, it was a passing comment. I like you.
Twenty four hours later and I was walking in on him with a hooker. So very predictably Hugo.
I guess I was a little stung by it at first. No girl wants to feel like she’s replaceable, but then, I
always knew that I was. I chose to sleep with him regardless. I’m not quite sure what that makes me.
I walked away, sure in my mind that I would not be seeing Hugo Harrison for a long time.
A week later, and Lilly was in a car crash that nearly killed her. That put things in perspective.
Lilly is like a sister to me, and the thought of losing her nearly broke me. Unexpectedly, Hugo was
there. He was a good friend to me, and we developed a different kind of relationship. Under all his
womanising bullshit, he’s actually a good guy. We became the most unlikely of friends.
So now, we’re friends I guess. Not good friends, we don’t like hang out and plait each other’s
hair. A girl only has so much restraint. Hugo is hotter than hell, and has absolutely no moral compass.
His brain is directly wired to his penis, and therefore cannot comprehend being in the presence of a
vagina and not trying to fuck it. I have to be constantly on my guard, and ready to fight him and his
ever present charms off.
So we hang out sometimes, but never alone. We’re always in social situations, normally with
Lilly and Theo. It’s a bit unconventional, but it works.
Come to think of it, I haven’t seen him for a while.
“What did he get arrested for?” I ask.
She snorts. “Indecent exposure.”
“Fucking Hugo.” We both say at the same time.

We pull up outside the police station, where Hugo is leaning against a police car. He’s wearing a
grey shirt, with the sleeves rolled up past his forearms, and a pair of jeans that fit him just so. He’s
not massively built, but he’s muscular and tall. He has a certain presence. His dirty blonde hair is in
its usual wild disarray, that makes him look as though a woman has been clawing at it, and nine times
out of ten that is exactly the case. I watch as his lips purse around the cigarette in his hand, the end
glowing as he draws on it. He eventually flicks the cigarette to the ground, and tilts his head back,
exhaling a long stream of smoke. Every movement he makes is sexual, and yet, it’s completely
unintentional. He pushes off the car and saunters towards us like he owns the world. He reminds me
of a rock star. He’s infectious to be around, because he doesn’t give a fuck about anything.
Lilly presses the button for the passenger side window, lowering the tinted glass.
He smiles wide as he comes to a stop at the window, resting his forearms against the door.
“Ladies.” He winks at me.
“Get in the car.” Lilly sighs. He chuckles and opens the back door, sliding into the leather seat.
“How was your dress shit?” He asks, pulling a packet of cigarettes from his pocket. Hugo chain
smokes when he’s pissed or horny. The former is rare, the latter is extremely common. Call it a
distraction.
“No smoking in the car!” She snaps. Lilly hates smoking, particularly the smell. I don’t mind it,
and weirdly it suits Hugo.
I glance over my shoulder to catch him rolling his eyes before he shoves his packet of cigarettes
back in his pocket.
I feel him lean forward between the front seats, the warmth of his body touching my arm. “I
haven’t seen you for a while, sweetness.” He says quietly, his breath touching my neck, and making
my skin break out in goose bumps.
I’m always so hyper aware of him. I turn my head until my lips are only a few inches from his. I
can smell his cologne, mixed with cigarette smoke, and it makes my head swim. We’re friends, but
that doesn’t mean the man doesn’t affect me. He does. A lot. After all, I know what he is capable of.
His blue eyes dance, always promising trouble of the best kind. My brain may have firmly friend
zoned him, but my vagina, well, she’d quite like to dismiss that notion altogether.
“I’ve been busy.” I say with a smile.
A low throaty chuckle. “You shouldn’t look at me like that.” He cocks an eyebrow.
“Stop.” I smirk, as I push at his chest. Hugo flirts shamelessly. Apparently, his dick might disown
him if he doesn’t crack onto anything with a pulse.
He leans even closer, so he can whisper in my ear. “It just makes me want to fuck you until you
can’t walk straight.” His voice is a low purr, stroking over my senses.
 “Will you stop that!” Lilly elbows him in the ribs, making him grin and jump back.
“You’re no fun.” He laughs. “But, Molly here has made me hard as a fucking rock with her ‘fuck
me’ eyes.” I glare at him, and he flashes me a cocky smile. “I got arrested whilst I was getting blown
last night, and the fucking cop would not let me finish! My balls feel like they’re going to explode.”
He adds.
“Uh, TMI.” I mumble.
“And?” Lilly asks.
“I may need to stroke one out.” He says casually.
“Gross Hugo, I don’t need to know.” Lilly says.
I hear the sound of a zip being lowered and whip my head around. “Fucking hell Hugo, seriously,
we’re like five minutes from your place. Just call one of your hookers and get them to meet you
there.”
He laughs. “Or you could just come and play.”
I release an exasperated breath. “I’m good.”
“Molly is not one of your dirty fuck dolls Hugo, and if you get that fucking thing out in this car, I
will fucking leave you here. You can walk!” I press my lips together, trying not to laugh.
“Molly might want a crack at Rambo.” He counters.
“Nope. I’m definitely good. I liken Rambo to a stray dog. He might have rabies.” I flash him an
innocent smile over my shoulder.
He leans forward, between the two front seats again. “Grouchy. Someone’s not getting enough.”
He grins.
“I have this awesome device, called a vibrator.” I say in my best Barbie voice. “It makes me
come so hard.” I add huskily. He groans, low in his throat, and I laugh.
“You’re a bitch.” He grumbles. “A teasing bitch.” The car rolls to a stop, just outside his
apartment building. “You know, you should come up Molly, show that pussy what a real cock looks
like.” He smirks as his eyes skate over my body.
I roll my eyes. “Have fun with your hand.” I say, trying not to smile.
He laughs and opens the door. I release a long breath when I feel the door slam behind him.
“Holy fucking shit.” Lilly’s eyes lock with mine, her stare accusing. “What the hell was that?”
“What?”
She snorts. “Do not ‘what’ me. I was getting hot with all the sexual tension between you two.
Christ.” She starts fanning herself.
I shrug. “It’s Hugo. He can’t help himself.”
She laughs as she pulls away from the curb. “Oh, Mole. That, was a two way street sweetness.
You still want him.”
I roll my eyes. I can’t deny this shit to Lilly, she knows me too well. “Look, the guy fucks like a
prize bull. He sends my hormones a little crazy. But…we’re just friends.”
She doesn’t look convinced. “You need to marry Alex, and have his beautiful babies.” She gushes
with a sly grin.
Oh god, this again. Alexander Ryker was Lilly’s orthopaedic surgeon after she had the crash a few
months ago. I’ll admit, he’s hot, like GQ model hot. He’s also a doctor, and that just makes him
beyond attractive, what with the whole ‘I save lives’ thing going on. He asked for my number, and I
gave it to him, expecting nothing to come of it. He called, and at first I turned him down. I wasn’t in a
good head space to date, but he didn’t give up. Eventually we went on a couple of dates. He’s
charming, educated, polite and attractive. He is most women’s dream man. I like him, a lot. He’s a
good guy, and he’s just what I need. I think. I’ve been seeing him for a few weeks now, and it’s going
well, with one exception. There’s being a gentleman, and there’s being too much of a gentleman. He
wants to take things slow, because apparently he really likes me, and he doesn’t want to risk ruining
anything by rushing. Sweet I guess, but a girl has needs, and right now, my vibrator is getting way too
much use.
“God, Lilly. Calm down will you?” I laugh.
“He’s a doctor. You could do worse.”
“Says the woman marrying the millionaire.” I mumble.

I spend the afternoon at Lilly and Theo’s house, hanging out with Lilly. My flat mate George joins
us after his dance audition, and our trio is complete.
Of course, the two of them decide to start drinking wine at two in the afternoon. It’s what they do.
George is all tanned skin and perfect blonde hair. Sadly, he’s gay. I’ve never met a girl who didn’t
meet him and immediately declare how unfair the world is. Lilly has tried to turn him many times, but
to no avail. If Lilly can’t turn a man straight, then no-one can.
He flops down on the massive corner sofa and opens his arms as Lilly snuggles into him. She
hands him her wine glass and he takes a sip. Lilly and George have a close relationship. He coddles
her, and indulges her. They also have a shared love of alcohol and sex, and used to be each other’s
wingmen. At one time, they were both as slutty as each other. I, on the other hand, am always the
babysitter, to either one or both of them. I’m also one that has to give it to them straight when shit hits
the fan, which it inevitably does with them. A lot.
“So, how is it going with Mc Steamy?” George asks, wiggling his eyebrows.
“You’re cute.” I deadpan. “Okay, I guess.”
“You done the nasty with him yet?” Lilly swats at him whilst laughing.
“The nasty? Who even says that George?” I smile.
“She hasn’t banged him yet.” Lilly tells him. “She’s only been on a few dates, George.” She’s
trying to keep a straight face. I’ll openly admit that I’m the good girl, the sensible one. These two
have the morals of a pair of alley cats.
George laughs. “Oh sweetie. Three date rule…My version…The bar, the club, my bed.” I rest my
case.
“You are such a slut.” I huff. I’ve actually been seeing Alex for about three weeks. He’s the
definition of gentleman, something none of these lot would know anything about. George is a total
whore, and Lilly would take a man like Alex and eat him alive.
He winks. “You love it. Did you see the guy I had over last Saturday?” He shakes his head. I did
see him, and I’ll admit, he was hot. “I’m telling you Lill’s, he was giving Theo a run for his money.”
“Tell me you at least took a picture.” She starts patting him down for his phone.
“I did, but let’s just say it’s not appropriate viewing.” He smiles as he takes another sip of wine.
“Such a slut.” I repeat.
“Well, now I really want to see.” She pleads. “I love a good wang shot.”
“I love a wang shot as much as the next girl, but what I do not need to see is some guy sucking
Georges cock, and you’re a dirty fucker.” I point at him, as he rolls around laughing. “So I know that’s
what it will be!”
George is cackling uncontrollably, spilling wine all over the pristine white sofa. He blows me a
kiss. “You know me so well. Anyway, getting off topic. When you bone the doctor, I want all the juicy
goss.” He points at me. “I think he’ll be a gentleman fuck.” He shrugs.
 Lilly shakes her head. “Whoa, hold on. He might not be.” She defends him as though a gentleman
fuck would be such an awful thing. Heaven forbid he not pull a girl’s hair and call her a dirty whore.
George cocks an eyebrow. “Really Lill’s?”
“Poor guy.” I mumble.
“Look, I’m not saying anything, except this.” He points at me. “You were fucking Hugo.
Repeatedly. Hugo doesn’t do repeats, which means you must have some ninja shit going on down
there.” He cocks an eyebrow, and stares at my crotch.
“George!” I hold my hands in my lap, shielding myself from his view. He just laughs.
Lilly shakes her head, a small smile pulling at her lips. “Speaking of Hugo, we picked him up
today.” Lilly tells George. “He wanted her, like bad.”
“Yes, as he explained, by telling us he had been arrested whilst he was getting blown.” I tilt my
head to the side.
George bursts out laughing. “Fuck, he’s a legend.”

I leave Lilly and George cackling on the sofa, like the drunken rats they are. My guess is that Theo
may lose spoonage rights to George tonight.
I have to go, because Alex is coming over tonight. We’ve been on a few dates now, so tonight I
decided to cook for him. In other words, I want to sleep with him. I need to sleep with him. A girl
only has so much restraint around a man as pretty as him. He’s hot, and nice, and…well, he’s pretty
much perfect. I wasn’t sure there were actually guys like him left in the world. He has to be useless in
bed. The balance of the world can only be restored if he’s shit in bed. Oh god, please don’t be shit in
bed.
When I get home I shower and change into a jumper dress, it’s casual, but still looks good.
I blow dry my hair, and pin a chunk at the front back with grip, leaving the rest of it loose and
flowing down my back in a sheet of ruler straight platinum. I throw on a bit of mascara, swipe some
nude gloss on my lips, and I’m good to go in less than half an hour.
I’m no master chef when it comes to cooking, but I can throw together some basic dishes. I never
used to cook, but years of living with Lilly and George have forced me to learn. Those two are awful.
Lilly would happily survive on toast, Haribo and Diet Coke. George would live on take away food if
I didn’t put my foot down. I spent a lot of time mothering those two.
I make a chilli, because it’s easy, and who doesn’t like chilli?
Maroon 5 plays from the sound system whilst I cook. Adam Levine is a serious obsession of
mine. His voice just makes me want to climb on the nearest penis. I dance around the kitchen as I sip
a glass of wine. I’m in a good mood, and I am going to get laid tonight.
The doorbell rings and my stomach clenches. I’m nervous. I mean, first time sex with a new guy is
always a bit awkward, right?
I open the door to find Alex standing there looking so damn edible. He has jeans on, and a navy
shirt that clings in all the right places, with the top two buttons undone. He’s built, like really built.
Honestly, I don’t usually go for that type. I find it a little too much. Alex somehow makes his bulk
seem refined though. My eyes finally meet his face. He has a kind face. His eyes are a rich caramel
colour, almost gold, they radiate warmth. His chestnut hair is short, but deliberately styled to be a bit
messy. He smiles at me as though I’m his favourite person in the whole world, and I’d be lying if I
said it didn’t make me a little giddy.
“Molly.” He greets me. “You look beautiful.”
I can feel the heat creeping into my cheeks. “Thank you.”
 He reaches his arm out, and I notice that he has a small bunch of white roses in his hand. “For
you.” He beams.
“Oh, thank you.” I smile. I have no idea what it is about flowers that makes us girls swoon a little.
Lilly always says that if a guy brought her flowers, she’d kick him out, but then Lilly is…well, Lilly.
“Come in.” I step back and allow him into the flat.
He’s never been in my flat before, and I notice him subtly glancing around. I’ve always thought
you can tell a lot about someone by looking at their home.
I look around our flat, and realise that it looks as though a bunch of drunk kleptomaniac’s live
here. There’s a sombrero hanging amongst the coats by the door, a full size London Tube sign on the
far wall, and a freaky collection of garden gnomes on one of the book cases. I guess the various
potted plants probably don’t look out of place, but they were all in fact the result of drunken thievery,
along with half the room.
I blame Lilly and George. Those two are ridiculous when they get going. I once woke up to find
the pair of them passed out on the kitchen floor, and a random cat in the flat. Neither of them had any
recollection of how it got here.
There are framed pictures and trinkets everywhere, souvenirs of all the fun times we’ve had
together.
Alex smiles at he stands near the book case, looking more closely at some of the pictures. “You
guys look like you’ve had some good times.” He says with a smile in his voice.
I laugh. “Yeah, I’m not quite sure how one of us isn’t dead yet. Well, one of them.” I shrug.
“Wine?” I hold up the bottle and he nods.
I turn away from him and take a glass from the cupboard. I’m pouring the burgundy liquid into a
glass when I feel his hand gently skim my waist.
“Dinner smells amazing.” He says over my shoulder. I shiver involuntarily at his closeness. If he
notices, he doesn’t say anything.
“It’s just chilli.” I glance over my shoulder and smile at him. He’s close to me, but not pressing
against me. I kind of want him pressing against me though. Jesus, maybe I’m just starved of sexual
contact. It’s been over two months since I last had sex, and that was with Hugo. Two months is a long
time. Me and my vibrator have become awfully close. With Alex here though, in all his GQ glory, I
find myself craving his touch. I appreciate that he’s a gentleman, but right now, I don’t want him to be.
I turn to face him, handing him the wine glass. He takes it, his fingers brushing against mine gently.
Part of me wants him to step into me and kiss me. Skip dinner and move straight to dessert. I
instinctively lean forward, before I catch myself. We’re still in the ‘dating zone’, that funny place
where you kind of know someone, but you haven’t ventured into sexual territory, aside from a kiss
here and there, and you don’t want to come off like a bitch in heat. I can’t remember the last time I
liked a guy enough to care what he thought. Hugo certainly didn’t care, hell he embraces corruption at
it’s finest. He dares me to do my worst, and with him, I was always at my worst.
“It’s ready.” I say quietly, breaking my blatant perv fest. “I’ll dish up. Take a seat.” I gesture
towards the breakfast bar, and he moves away from me. I drag in a lungful of air, keen not to make an
arse of myself. I just need to make it through dinner, maybe drink a bottle of wine, and all will be
good.

“This is amazing.” He says as he takes another forkful of the chilli. He’s finished his, and is now
polishing off mine. I love a man who can eat. There’s just something sexy about it.
 “Thanks.” I say, sipping my wine. I’m now on my third glass, and it’s starting to go to my head.
Operation ‘drink away the nerves’ is under way.
My phone rings, dancing across the far end of the breakfast bar, and blasting Nine Inch Nails.
Alex cocks an eyebrow at me. “Interesting ring tone. You’re full of surprises.”
“You have no idea.” I say under my breath. I ignore my phone, but it rings again. “For god’s sake.”
I grumble. “Do you mind?” I gesture to the phone and he shakes his head.
“Of course not.”
I see Lilly’s name on the screen. “What?” I hiss into the phone.
There’s a fit of giggling, before George’s voice comes on the line. “Where’s my car?” He slurs.
Great. I sigh. “I have it. You know this, George.”
“I need my condoms out of the glove box.” He says.
“Uh, do I want to know?” Jesus, seriously dodgy images of threesomes involving Lilly, Theo and
George are running through my mind right now. Come to think of it, that would be pretty hot.
“Someone gave me chocolate and coffee flavoured jonny’s, and I want Lilly to try one. She wants
Theo to try one.” He laughs. I snort.
“You guys want Theo to lick a condom?” I glance across at Alex, who I’d almost forgotten was
here. His lips are pulled up in a small smile. I cover the receiver. “I’m sorry, that is not how it
sounds.” I say trying not to laugh.
He holds his hands up. “Hey, I don’t judge. Each to their own.”
“It’s fine. I will have to find other ways to entertain myself.” George huffs dramatically.
“Goodbye George.” I can hear him asking if I’m banging someone, before I swipe the red button.
“I took Georges car, and apparently he’s now drunk and wants everyone to try his new flavoured
condoms, which are in the glove box.”
He says nothing, but his lips kick up in a small smirk, and it draws my eyes straight to his mouth. I
bite my lip, trying desperately to drag my mind out of the gutter, but all I can think of is dragging my
nails down his back, whilst he fucks me.
“Molly?” I blink.
“Sorry, what?”
He smiles shyly. “Do you want some more wine?” He’s holding the bottle up. I shouldn’t because
the more I drink the more horny I get, but I let him top up my glass, because I really need some bloody
wine right now.
He follows me through into the living room, and I take a seat on the sofa, curling my legs up
underneath me. He drops onto the sofa next to me, his frame seeming to overflow, even on our
massive corner sofa.
He takes a gulp of wine, and I watch his Adam apple bob as he swallows. Damn, why is that so
hot? He smiles at me, and reaches his hand out to rest on my thigh. I swear my heart rate hitches just
from the simple touch.
“So, how is work going?” I ask quickly, trying to cover my breathlessness. We chat for a little
while about his work. I can’t imagine what it must feel like to do something so worthwhile with your
life. I’m envious. I wish I had that much purpose in life, rather than working in fashion. I mean really?
God knows what he sees in me.
“So you’re trying to become an editor?” He asks, his eyes fixed on mine. His hand hasn’t left my
thigh, and I can practically feel my skin tingling.
I nod. “Yep.”
“That sounds like a stressful job.” He murmurs.
 I laugh. “What more stressful than putting people’s bones back together.”
“I guess I see what I do as a hands on job. I have my job to do, and as long as I do it, it’s fine. An
editor…I just can’t imagine what it’s like to have to keep all those people in check, and running
smoothly.”
I smile. I can totally see why he would hate that. He’s self-contained, almost quiet.
“Okay, enough talk about work.” I say. I mean to change the subject, but I find myself getting up. I
lean down in front of him and press my lips to his without warning. His lips are soft and warm, his
touch gentle and attentive. His big palm comes up to cup my face and I part my lips, waiting for him to
dive into my mouth, but he doesn’t. His tongue gently brushes against my bottom lip, making me crave
it on me, everywhere. Before I’ve even registered what I’m doing, I’m straddling him, my knees
sinking into the sofa cushions. My fingers inch towards his hair, as I thrust my tongue into his mouth.
Fuck, he tastes good, like crisp wine and spice.
He groans into my mouth, his hands drifting to my thighs. His fingers move upward, oh so slowly.
My breath hitches as he moves higher. Then suddenly he stops, and places his hands on my waist.
There’s a tense moment where I wait to see what he’ll do. Will he throw me on the sofa and rip my
knickers off? Slide them to the side right here and fuck me senseless? My mind goes wild with
possibilities, but then he pushes me away, holding me still. His breath is ragged as his eyes lock onto
mine. I can’t even find it in me to look embarrassed. I’m horny, and I want him.
“Molly.” He breathes.
“Alex.”
“I think…”
“Don’t think.” I cut him off.
“You’re tipsy, and I won’t take advantage of you.” Ah shit, he really is good. I want him to take
advantage of me.
“I’m not tipsy.” I lie. He tilts his head slightly as a smile creeps onto his lips. “Okay, so maybe a
little. Not enough that I wouldn’t want this anyway.” I sound whiny even to my own ears.
There’s a long pause as he cups my face again, that gorgeous smile still etched onto his lips. “You
really are beautiful Molly, and I really like you. I’m not going anywhere, there’s no hurry.” Kill me
now. “I just…I’ve rushed into these things before, and it hasn’t ended well. I don’t want to ruin things
with us. I want to take my time with you. I like you.” He smiles softly, and he looks so damn cute.
How the fuck am I supposed to say no to that? I want to. Believe me. I want to tell him to go fuck his
slow. I want him, and there is only so much a girl can take.
“You do know that there is such a thing as too noble?” His lips pull up on one side. “And that not
many would turn this down?” I stab my finger into my chest. That’s not meant to sound big headed, but
come on. I’m straddling his lap for Christ sake. My dress is hitched up, exposing my thighs, and my
chest is pretty much level with his face, not that my chest is worth much…the thighs though…yeah, the
thighs are just right there.
“I do know that. I also know that none of those guys that said yes are here right now, and I am. I
don’t want to be another passing infatuation for you, Molly.” He tells me.
I smile and brush a stray lock of hair off his forehead. “You’re not.” I’m just fucking horny! I lean
in and press a very chaste kiss on his lips.
I get off him, and stand in front of him. “Ugh. Are you sure you’re not gay or something?”
His eyes flick down to his crotch, where there’s a pretty obvious bulge in his trousers. “Don’t
think so.” Damn, that’s a big bulge. I turn my back and walk away into the kitchen, before I go against
his wishes and get a bit rapey.
 I wake up the next morning feeling grouchy and agitated. Alex stayed and we watched a film last
night. He left quite late, after refusing to stay the night. Apparently I can’t be trusted. Seriously, this is
major role reversal. Surely he’s supposed to be the one trying to get me into bed, and I should be the
one who doesn’t trust his wandering hands?
I know he wants me. I sometimes catch him looking at me, with that sexy little smile on his face.
He’s just so, controlled, subtle, saintly. Take your pick. I can’t remember the last time I went out with
a guy like him. I’ve had my fair share of boyfriends…okay, so quite a lot.
I’ll admit that I’m a romanticist. I think there is a perfect match out there for everyone, you just
have to find them. I’ve had many whirlwind romances. Some sweet, and some down-right dirty. I’ve
been with a tattoo artist on one extreme, and a biochemist on the other. As soon as I realise that
they’re not the one, I move on, because life is short, and there’s no point in staying with someone who
you know you won’t be with long term. I have loved more times than most people, but I have never
found ‘the’ love. You know, that desperate clawing need to be with someone. The kind of love that
leaves you utterly broken once it’s gone. The kind of love Lilly and Theo have. So, regardless of
whether I loved them or not, I have always moved on.
The only guy I ever struggled to walk away from was Hugo. Christ, that wasn’t even remotely
close to love. It was sex. Hot, dirty, fucking amazing sex. For some reason though, he had more of a
hold over me than any other, even the guys I loved, or thought I loved.
I like to think it’s a simple case of wanting what you can’t have. We always want the unattainable,
and to me Hugo was always unattainable, because he would never want me. He would want sex with
me, but never actually want me. I never really wanted him, I just wanted him to want me. The human
mind is warped, what can I say?
Frustrated, I drag myself out of bed, and throw on my running gear. It’s Saturday, and I should be
sleeping in, but instead I’m wide awake.
I close my bedroom door, and make my way to the kitchen where I find George, face down on the
granite work top of the breakfast bar.
“Um, it’s a bit early for you isn’t it?” It’s actually eight thirty, but for George that’s stupid early.
He groans and lifts his head to look at me. He does not look good. He has dark circles under his
eyes, and his eyes are bloodshot.
“I forgot I have an audition this morning.” He moans. “I should not have drunk two fucking bottles
of wine.” He puts his head back down on the bar, his cheek pressed to the surface as he watches me
take some juice from the fridge.
“You’re going to an audition looking like that?” I ask. It’s one thing to have to go to work with a
hangover, it is quite another to have to spin and jump around in a dance audition. “Because you look
like shit.” I snort.
He lifts his hand, brandishing his middle finger at me. I laugh, as he groans and squints. “You’re
mean this morning. I thought you’d be chirpy today after your night with McSteamy.” He mumbles.
“Sore subject.” I huff.
He chuckles. “Holy shit Mole, you got turned down?”
“He’s just very…chivalrous.” I explain.
“And he wants to treat you like a lady, whilst you want to be fucked like a dirty whore.”
“George! No…” I start, but he cuts me off.
He laughs. “Cut the shit Mole. I know under all that bullshit you’re a dirty bitch. I wouldn’t be
friends with you if you weren’t.”
With that, he gets up and half walks, half staggers to his room. Arse.

I need to go for a run.

 CHAPTER THREE
HUGO
“My name is Stacey, and I’m a sex addict.” Stacey is fine. I’d fuck Stacey seven ways to Sunday.
Sex addiction? Shit, she’s like a walking fucking addiction right there. She has this thick Eastern
European accent that makes her sound like a dirty porn star. Her skirt is seriously short, and her tits
are just…right there. I can just imagine shoving my cock between them for an epic tittie fuck. Don’t
get me wrong, I’ve seen street hookers with more class. I’ve never been a classy kind of guy though.
Her eyes flick toward me as she talks about her fucked up sex life, and how many faceless men
she’s slept with. She licks her lips. Yeah, she wants to add me to the list, and I’m all too happy to
oblige.
“Hugo.” A voice interrupts. I frown and reluctantly turn toward the sound of my name. I miss the
sight of those magnificent tits already.
“Yeah.” I say to the counsellor currently scowling at me. Busted.
“Would you like to speak?” He asks.
“What do you want me to say?” I grumble. Seriously? Why would anyone willingly come to this
shit?
“Tell us about yourself and your addiction.”
Jesus fucking Christ. “Fine. I’m Hugo. I like to fuck, a lot.” There, that pretty much sums it up
doesn’t it?
“Tell us the extent of your addiction.” I still don’t like that word. Addiction. It makes it seem as
though I have a problem, and I don’t. A problem is something that’s disruptive to your life. I fucking
love my life. I love women, and I love sex.
Fuck it, if he wants all the details. “I fuck several women a week, sometimes more than one a
day.” I shrug. The guy across from me looks at me with wide eyes. “What, you guys don’t?” Hell no
they fucking don’t. These guys are the weirdos that have to wank twenty times a day, because they
have an ‘addiction’.
The counsellor steps in with that annoying as shit voice of his. “This shows a need for sex. Tell us
Hugo, what do you think you need, that sex gives you?”
I laugh. He doesn’t. “Oh wait, you’re serious?” He nods. “Shit man, you are not doing it right. I
have a card for this fucking amazing hooker, honestly, she will make you come like a fifteen year old
having his first wank.”
Stacey laughs, and then puts her hand over her mouth to cover it. The counsellor has gone an odd
shade of purple. “Nathan.” He says moving on to the next guy. Stacey smiles at me. I shrug and wink
at her. Yep, she so wants a piece of Rambo action.

“Oh, fuck yes. Fuck me harder.” Turns out Stacey is quite the fucking addict. I like a girl who
knows what she’s doing. I didn’t even make it out of the building, before she gave me ‘the eye’.
I have her bent over one of the shelves in a supply room, that tiny skirt hiked up over her hips. She
wasn’t even wearing any underwear. My kind of girl.
My thighs are slapping against her arse cheeks as I fuck her hard. I’m gripping her hip with one
hand, hard enough to bruise. My other hand is pressed against her pussy as I stroke her clit.
“Oh god, yes!” She screams. She reaches back and drags her nails down my thighs as her pussy
clamps down on my cock. Fuck!
 I clench my jaw as heat rushes down my spine and my balls explode as I come inside her. I stay
still for a second, breathing hard.
I pull out of her, and pull off the jonny, because, yes, sometimes I can have half a fucking brain.
I’m not about to go in bareback, with a girl who just admitted to a room full of people that she’s a
dirty slut. I like my dick as it is, attached to my body.
Plus, I just watched Theo go through a fucking baby scare with some one night stand. No fucking
thank you.
She straightens her skirt and flashes me a sexy grin. “Not bad.” She says, before she turns and
leaves the room. No asking for a number, no bullshit.
I was wrong, fuck strip clubs, sex counselling is the place to meet dirty women. Dirty women
with daddy issues, who like to be used. Fuck yeah!
Technically it’s helping my addiction, because I’m blowing my load, which means I now won’t
need sex until tomorrow. That’s not to say it won’t be offered before. I’m an opportunist.

When I get home, Gaz, my bulldog, has left a massive fucking turd on the cream rug. There’s an
entire apartment of wooden flooring, and yet he shits on the rug! I’m almost sick when I open the door.
Jesus, what the fuck does that dog eat? The dirty bastard is nowhere to be found. I stalk through the
apartment, and push open the bedroom door. He’s there, on my bed, on his back, legs everywhere,
with his enormous nut sack sitting there like a fucking trophy. He’s snoring like a bloody chain saw.
“Gaz!” I shout at him. Nothing. Fuck my life. I shove him, until he chokes and wakes up. He rolls
onto his side and glances at me, not an ounce of fucking shame to be found.
“You shat on the rug!” He grunts and slides off the edge of the bed, dragging his nuts across the
sheets as he goes. I should mention, that the reason I have Gary is because he got kicked out of his last
house…because he has a habit of jizzing on everything. At the time I felt sorry for him, I mean, it
happens to the best of us, and with gnads like his… Now though…let’s just say, there’s an awful lot of
crusty upholstery going on around here.
I manage to find some rubber gloves under the sink, and half a roll of kitchen paper. Never in my
life did I think I would ever be picking up dog shit, but here I am. Fuck me. He does bigger shits than
me. I gag as I practically have to bicep curl the massive log. He watches me the entire time, breathing
heavily like the dirty old fucker he is. I lob it down the loo, and flush. I bin the gloves and bleach my
hands, although I feel like I need a full body fumigation. My life just hit whole new lows.
“Right, that’s it Gaz. We’re going for a walk.” Gary hates exercise, in any way, shape or form.
Hates it. Except shagging. He likes shagging. Good lad.
I clip his lead on, and he throws himself on the floor.
“Dude, you are walking a fine line.” I point at him. For fucks sake. I grab some treats from the
kitchen, and what do you know, as soon as he hears the packet he’s up and standing right behind me.
“Oh no. You have to work for it, you fat fuck.”

I’m throwing treats like a ball for Gaz. This is the only way I can get him to move. I had him out
here a few days ago, and an old lady told me that I should be ashamed of myself, for allowing him to
get so fat. He was like this when I got him! Of course he’s fat, all he does is eat and sleep. He also
likes the ladies. He’s a total pussy magnet. Even ice queen Lilly likes him. He laps that shit up.
I’m crouching down, and in the process of trying to get him to come back to me, rather than just sit
down, when a long pair of legs comes into sight, clad in those tight black gym trousers. My eyes
travel up slowly, damn, those are some long legs. My eyes take in an athletic body in a hoody, and
when I move to her face, I smile. She pulls her earphones out, and I can hear the heavy rock music
blaring through them from here.
“Molly.” Not going to lie, she’s looked better. I mean, I still would, but the au naturel look isn’t
my thing.
I haven’t seen her since she picked me up from the police station last week. Molly is…well,
Molly, and I guess our friendship is an odd one. I don’t usually fuck a girl more than three times
unless she’s a hooker, and after that, I usually don’t hear from them again. I’ve fucked Molly a lot.
Things got out of hand, and I had to cut her off, but I needed her to be the one to walk away from me,
so I pushed her away monumentally. I did shit I’m not proud of, and believe me, she’s the only person
in the world that has ever made me feel an ounce of shame.
I didn’t think I’d see her again anytime soon, but sometimes life throws you curve balls that make
everything else pale into insignificance.
I remember being at the club, actually doing some work for once, when my phone rang…
“Molly?” I answered.
“Hugo!” She was crying, hysterical, beyond comprehension crying.
“Molly. What’s wrong?” She didn’t answer me, as she heaved deep breaths. “Sweetness, you
need to tell me what’s wrong.”
“Lilly.” She gasped. “Lilly’s had a crash.”
“Shit, where is she?”
I can hear her muffled sobs, where her hand is clearly pressed over her mouth. “St Georges.”
She manages to say.
“And where are you?”
“Home. George just called.” Her voice is so small and broken, my chest clenches hard. “You
know I would never… but please…”
“I’m on my way.” I hung up the phone and left the club, ignoring everyone on my way out.
I hopped into the Lambo, which was parked right outside the club, as always. I floored it to her
flat in a symphony of blaring horns and tire squeal.
When I saw Molly, I thought my knees might buckle. She opened the door, and threw herself
into my arms. I’d never seen her look so broken. Her hair was a mess, her face streaked and
blotchy from tears. Molly didn’t have the warrior front that Lilly had, but she had this quiet kind of
strength to her. That strength was nowhere to be seen.
“I asked if she was okay, and George wouldn’t answer me.” She sobbed.
Shit. I needed to call Theo, but she needed me right then, and without George or Harry, or her
usual vast network of people around her, I was all she had.
I stroked her hair. “It will be fine Sweetness. We’ll go to the hospital. There’s no point in
getting yourself worked up until you know the facts.”
When we did finally get to the hospital, I wanted to walk back out. If I thought Molly was
broken, my best friend was so much worse. I’m not good in those situations, never have been.
Molly sat with him, and held his hand, but he was pretty much unresponsive. Lilly died five
minutes after he brought her in. Pulled her from the wreck himself, and drove like a mad man to
get her here. She was resuscitated, but her injuries were pretty bad. It was still touch and go.
Judging by the state he was in, she’d lost a lot of blood. I told them I would go and get him
clean clothes. There was nothing I could do here. Just as I reached the doors to A&E Molly called
my name. I turned to her, and she threw her arms around my neck. I wrapped my arms round her
waist and squeezed her.
 “Thank you.” She whispered. “You’re a good friend.” She managed a small, very false smile
and pulled away, making her way back to Theo.
Friend. Other than Theo the word wasn’t one I often used with people, but I would do anything
for Molly, the same way as I would do anything for Theo. She was my friend, even if I didn’t
deserve her.
I spent the next few weeks picking Molly up and taking her to the hospital when she couldn’t
use George’s car. Truthfully, I would have offered to buy her a car, but I enjoyed our banter far too
much. I liked giving her a lift. I missed hanging out with her if I was honest with myself. We had
great sex, no fucking amazing sex, but we also had fun. Shit, doesn’t that sound so pussy whipped.
Lilly of course, pulled through, got engaged to Theo and everyone lived happily ever after.

“Hey. Are you supposed to be walking that dog?” Molly interrupts my thoughts.
“Uh, kind of.”
She whistles at him. “Gary.” Fucker leaps up and throws himself at her feet. She squats down and
pats his massive head.
“Prick.” I mutter.
She glances up at me, a wide smile on her face. I don’t know what it is about her that kicks me in
the nuts so damn hard every time she smiles. Any time she’s near me, my cock turns into a fucking
baseball bat. Hey, she may be my friend, but I’m only male. Just because one head knows she’s off
limits, doesn’t mean the other does, especially when said head has had a taste already.
The no touching rule is actually pretty easy to enforce seeing as Molly isn’t interested. Thank fuck
for that, because I have shit all restraint when it comes to women, especially this woman. We
resolved our issues, but I still fucked her over. I showed her just how tainted and corrupt I can be.
Let’s just say, she hasn’t wanted to touch my cock since. It may seem like a dick move. Okay, so
fucking a hooker in front of her is without doubt a dick move, but I honestly had my reasons, which
made complete sense to me at the time. She told me she liked me, liked me liked me…and that is a
problem. I like to think of Molly as my sole selfless act. I could have kept fucking her, had my fill, let
her believe that there was some good to be found in me, but I didn’t. I made sure she realised that
there was no good to be found, because as much as I respect Molly and enjoy her company, I will
never change. Molly deserves better. She knew all along that I wasn’t good enough for her, I just gave
her the shove she needed to drop my arse. I needed her not to want to fuck me, because god knows, I
can’t say no.
“He just takes the piss out of you.” She says. “Don’t you Gary.” She coos.
“You think? Fucker just took a shit on my rug.”
She laughs. Hard. She laughs until she rocks backward and ends up sprawled on her arse. I scowl
at her. “It’s not funny. I almost puked.” She laughs even harder, until tears are streaming down her
face.
“Fuck. That is just too much.” She gasps. “That dog is a legend.” He climbs on her lap, wiggling
his little stump of a tail and shaking his fat arse.
“Yeah? You want him? Because at this rate he’s going to a rescue centre.” I tell her. “And you
know what they do in rescue centres Gaz?” He looks up at the sound of his name. “They castrate
everything. Those gnads? Bye bye.”
“Ah, you are so mean.” Molly starts to get up, still giggling. I hold out my hand, and she takes it. I
pull her to her feet, and she ends up standing inches away from me. Her eyes meet mine, holding my
gaze, as something crosses her expression. A slight blush creeps across her accentuated cheek bones.
Fuck, she’s gorgeous. I don’t get pussy stunned often, but there’s just something about her. I don’t
know what though. I mean, not to be a prick, but I’ve slept with hotter women, and I’ve slept with
some of the most skilled hookers you can find. It’s just… her. I’m feeling a very real urge to shove my
hand in my pants right now, you know, just to check that I still have a cock, and didn’t just grow a
pussy as I thought that.
“Thanks.” She whispers. It takes me a dazed moment to realise that I still have hold of her hand. I
release her, and she steps back.
“No problem.” I manage to respond. No problem? What the fuck? “I take it you’re going to this
party tonight?” I ask, changing the subject.
“You sound thrilled about it.” She smiles wryly. “And, I’m maid of honour. Of course I’m going.”
“Just checking. I need at least one person there who’s not all wedding obsessed. That shit freaks
me out.” I grunt.
She grins. “Don’t worry. I’m sure there will be plenty of fresh meat for you to choose from.”
“Well, you know that the best man and the bridesmaid are traditionally supposed to get it on.” I
wiggle my eyebrows at her.
She rolls her eyes. “They are not supposed to get it on. Anyway, on that note, I’m going to
continue my run.”
“Hey, you should come running with me some time. I think you’d enjoy the view.” I wink.
Her eyes skirt down my body teasingly. “You know, I think I would. I might just take you up on
that.”
I’m still laughing as she pops her earphones back in and jogs away from me. Damn her arse looks
good.

It turns out this engagement party isn’t all that awful. I mean, it’s pretentious, but then I suppose
there are certain expectations that have to be met. They could have picked a better venue. There’s
enough chandeliers and old looking shit in here to start a fucking antique shop. Give me strobe lights
and strippers in cages over this any day.
I managed to skip the dinner part. Sit down meals aren’t really my style. Plus, Theo never invites
me to those things, because I’m pretty much guaranteed to seriously offend at least one person. It’s not
my fault they can’t handle me. I refuse to be polite to, or make pointless conversation with twats. So, I
skipped that shit, and now the party is just about getting started. At least it will do now I’m here, and
god do they need me.
Theo is sitting with me at the bar, because Lilly is dancing with George on the dance floor.
Apparently she refuses to act ‘coupley’, because the entire notion of an engagement party makes her
sick. I know this because she said this to him as I was sat right here next to him. I kind of want to high
five her for not buying into all this bullshit, but I also feel a little bit bad for him. She would happily
hop a plane to Vegas, and yet he’s the one who wants a proper wedding. She’s making him look like a
total pussy. It’s brilliant.
He’s not such a pussy that he organised this shit though. Apparently Cat threw a wobbly, and
demanded he let her organise an engagement party, and Theo being Theo, indulges his sister in
whatever she likes. He also gives her free reign with his credit card. Bad idea.
The place is heaving. There must be well over five hundred guests here, and yet, I have no idea
who most of them are. Engagement party my arse, this is just fucking bragging rights. ‘Look what I’m
tapping.’
I really can’t believe he’s doing this shit. I have been telling him so for the last half hour.
 He gestures the barman over and orders a scotch.
“You sure you wouldn’t rather have a Cosmopolitan to go with your vagina?” I ask. He throws me
an exasperated look. “I’ll even get them to put an umbrella and a sparkler in it for you.”
He says nothing, but offers me his middle finger. I laugh.
I glance around the room, scouting for pussy. There are a few possibilities. I can’t help but look at
Lilly on the dance floor. Her and George look like professional dancers, well I guess he is a
professional dancer. Damn that girl is hot. She pretty much defines sex, all flaming red hair, and toned
curves. No wonder Theo put a ring on it. The fucker won’t do better than that.
I get smacked in the back of the head. “The fuck?”
“Stop eye fucking my girl, you prick.” Theo says without even looking at me.
“I wasn’t. I was admiring George’s moves.”
“Wow, I thought for sure, you’d never give up the pussy.” He comments.
“Fuck you. As if.” I snort. “I seriously need some though.”
He glances toward me, a shit eating grin on his face. “You having a dry spell?”
I roll my eyes. “Seriously? Don’t ask stupid questions. I got some this morning.”
“Oh yeah, anyone I know?” He narrows his eyes at me.
“No it wasn’t fucking Molly. I told you, she wouldn’t touch me with someone else’s now.”
Between him and Lilly it’s like matchmaker central around here. Theo keeps telling me to ‘tie that shit
down’. Pussy. Lilly keeps telling me that she’ll break my face if I go near Molly, and is setting her up
with the surgeon.
“Well from what I hear, you still have a thing for her.” He cocks an eyebrow.
I shrug. “If by ‘a thing’ you mean I want to blow my load balls deep in her, then yeah, I have a
thing for her.”
“Fuck, you’re an animal.” He laughs.
“Ah, don’t pretend you want me any other way, Princess.” I wink and blow him a kiss. He just
shakes his head.
Lilly appears behind him, wrapping her arms around his neck, and running her hands down his
chest.
His face goes all soft, and loved up. God, it’s enough to make me sick. “Hey sugar.” He
practically purrs at her.
Fuck this. I’m out. I take my drink and move across the room until I find Cat, Theo’s sister,
amongst a group of boring businessy looking fuckers. I shove them aside without apology and pull her
away. She is of course off limits. I have no fucking morals whatsoever, but even I wouldn’t fuck my
best friend’s sister. There are some lines you do not cross, no matter how much you want to. This
makes me a very, very good friend, because let me assure you, Cat’s petite curves and diva attitude
are enough to make me want to bend her over and fuck that attitude right out of her. I should get a
medal for this shit.
“Hugo.” She grins. Her eyes skate down my body. “You look good.” She says in a husky voice.
Worse than not being able to fuck her, is that Cat knows it. She knows she’s beautiful. She’s the
female version of her brother, and that prick’s so good looking I might just fuck him with enough
alcohol in my bloodstream. She has waist length dark hair, and freakishly blue eyes. Her face is
perfect, and her body isn’t far behind.
“Thanks. So do you.” That’s not even just a bullshit compliment Cat’s a fashion designer, and holy
shit, that dress looks like it might actually be painted on her body. She’s covered from neck to knee,
but she obviously has no bra on, and I can see her nipples. Crucify a man why don’t you?
 “Dance with me?” She asks.
“Not a good idea doll.” I tell her. “I’m likely to get my face smashed in, and I’m rather fond of it.”
She laughs a high pitched girly laugh. “Do you want me, Hugo?” She teases.
Oh, she is poking a bear. I grin and step closer to her. “Kitty Cat, I’ve lost count of the number of
times I’ve stroked one out, and blown my load, to the thought of those perfect lips of yours wrapped
around my cock.”
She swallows hard, a slight blush creeping onto her cheeks. Ah, if there’s one thing I love its
innocence. I live to corrupt women like her. As much as I would fuck Cat if it weren’t for Theo, she
couldn’t handle me, and she knows it. I’d ruin her, and I’d enjoy every fucking second of it.
“You still want that dance?” I ask.
She seems to have recovered slightly now. Regaining some of her former bravery, she nods and
loops her hand through my arm.
I lead her to the dance floor, where some jazz crap is blaring through the speakers. A few people
are dancing, but most are seated at the various tables surrounding the dance floor.
Cat starts dancing, and presses herself a little too close to me. I pop wood instantly. I can’t help it,
it’s an involuntary reaction. Damn it. I try to move as little as possible, but the more she presses
against me, the more I really want just a little bit of friction. When she turns and presses her back to
me, I lose my shit. I grab her hips and grind against her, pressing my cock against her lower back. She
stiffens slightly and I laugh. I would have put money on the fact that she would walk away, but she
doesn’t. Girl is playing with fire. Just when I think I might break my bro code after all, I manage to
push her away.
“Uh, I have to go, Cat.” I say through gritted teeth. I get my horny arse out of their so fucking fast.
Theo is glaring at me as I approach. I hold my hands up. “Wasn’t me! Why do you think I’m
running over here? Your sister fucking wants me, dude.”
He growls, like actually growls like some kind of psycho. Lilly rolls her eyes and shoves at his
chest. “Can you stop with the macho shit? Cat is a big girl.”
“You touch my sister, and I will castrate you.” He grumbles. Fuck my life, a guy cannot catch a
break round here.
I catch the sound of Molly’s infectious laughter and turn to find her approaching us with George.
“Sweetness.” I greet her.
God fucking damn she looks good. My cock instantly goes rock hard again. Molly’s hot because
she doesn’t know it. She’s so completely unaware of herself it’s almost funny. Her dress is pale blue,
skin tight, and shows a lot of leg. Thin lace covers her chest and arms, and her long legs drop into a
pair of sky scraper heels. Damn, what I wouldn’t give to have those heels digging in my back while I
fuck her senseless. She’s sexy as hell, and yet everything about her screams ‘good’. I don’t know how
the fuck she pulls it off. She’s the worst kind of torture. She makes my dick rock hard, whilst my mind
screams at me not to go there.
“Have you noticed, Hugo, that your dick seems to get you in a lot of trouble?” Her lips kick up
into a cocky smile.
“Hey, you leave Rambo out of this.” I point at her. She laughs. “Well, seeing as I can’t dance with
Cat for fear of having my dick cut off…I’ll just have to settle for you.”
“Wow, such flattery.” She snorts.
“I am the epitome of charm.” I reply.
“I’m not dancing with you.”
“I didn’t ask you to. Besides, you can’t dance.” I smirk.
 “Arsehole.” She crosses her arms over her chest. “If I have to hang out with you, I’m going to
need a lot of booze.”
“Ah, now booze, I can do.” I wave the barman over and order five shots of tequila. Molly makes
a face at me, but says nothing.
I pass a shot each to Lilly and Theo, two to Molly, and keep one for myself. I watch as she downs
the first one and presses the back of her hand to her mouth as though she might puke. She then steels
herself and necks the next one.
“Fuck, I hate tequila.” She shudders.
“It’s good for the soul.” I tell her before slamming mine.
“Good for getting you laid.” Theo adds.
I flick him the bird, and wave the barman over again. I order a glass of red wine for Molly,
because I know she likes it, and a beer for myself. I would offer Lilly and Theo drinks, but they’re too
busy playing tonsil tennis to notice me. Hell, a couple more minutes and she might as well just fuck
him on that bar stool.
I take the drinks off the bar and catch Molly’s eye, motioning her to follow me to a table near the
bar. She sits, crossing her legs elegantly.
“I haven’t spoken to you for a while. How are things?” I ask genuinely.
She shrugs. “Standard shit.” I cock an eyebrow at her, waiting for more.
“That’s it?” She shrugs again.
“Pretty much. You?” Her voice is clipped.
I narrow my eyes. “Yeah, same.” I say quickly. “Are you okay?”
She nods, struggling to maintain eye contact. “You spotted any options for the night yet?” She asks
casually, changing the subject.
I shrug. “There are always options Sweetness.” I can’t help but put just a hint of sex into my
voice. It’s more a habit than anything else. Flirting with her is instinct rather than a conscious choice.
Her eyes snap to mine, sparking violently. I have to bite back a groan. I know that look well. Hell,
I could jack off to that look alone. Her lips part slightly and her eyes flick to my lips.
“There’s a really hot blonde over by the dance floor.” She says, her voice barely above a
whisper.
“Yeah?” I follow her line of sight to an average looking blonde.
“Yep, good boobs.”
“Really? You’ve almost got better tits than her.” I turn back to her. “And you don’t have any
fucking tits.”
She scowls at me, but I don’t miss the way her lips quirk up. I brush a stray strand of hair off her
cheek, and a blush creeps across her cheeks. Her lips are slightly parted, and she’s giving me the
look. Then she quickly pulls back out of my reach.
“Want to dance?” I ask her hoarsely. I’m not really sure what’s wrong with her, but she’s giving
off some serious hot and cold vibes tonight. It’s not like her. She’s usually pretty level. I always know
where I stand with her.
“Uh.” She shakes her head, dropping her gaze to the wine glass in front of her. “I don’t think that’s
a good idea. I should go and find Lilly.” She can’t get up fast enough. What the fuck is up with her?
“And why is that?” She doesn’t answer, just stands there, gripping the back of the chair in front of
her. “Because of your new guy?” I know that she’s dating that doctor guy. I’m happy for her. He’s the
type of guy she should be with. Kind of. I’ll be honest, I don’t like him. I mean, everyone else seems
to think he’s going to pull down his pants and a fucking strobe light will appear from his arsehole.
He’s just…I don’t know…boring? I mean, I’ve only met him a couple of times at the hospital, but he’s
so damn polite. Lilly calls him a nice guy. Apparently I’m not a nice guy. Nothing truly good in life
has ever been described as nice. Nice implies mediocrity at its finest. I’m pretty sure that girls don’t
like to hear that shit though, so I don’t voice this opinion. I just think Molly could do better.
The frown doesn’t leave her face as her eyes meet mine. “No, of course not. It has nothing to do
with him.”
“Then enlighten me as to what the fuck is going on with you.”
Her features harden. “Look, Hugo, why don’t you just go and find some pussy for the night okay?
I’m not putting out.” Low fucking blow. She turns away from me and starts walking back towards the
bar.
I down the rest of my drink and stand. I catch up to her in a few quick strides, grabbing her arm
and pulling her along with me. “What are you doing?” She snaps as she tries to pull away from me.
I don’t answer as I drag her out of the function room. The quiet seems deafening after the music of
the party. I lead her down a hallway until I find another room, which is empty. It looks like some kind
of conference room. I pull her inside, and turn, pressing her up against the door before she can even
think to move.
She gasps as I push her back into the wood. Her hands fly up to my chest as if to shove me away,
but I close the small space between us, crushing her palms flat to my chest. I rest my hands on either
side of her head, leaning against the heavy door. She’s close, so close, and that familiar over-
whelming pull that she has over me kicks in, grabbing me by the fucking balls. By the time I realise
what a stupid move this was, it’s too late. Want rages through my body like an unleashed beast, and I
clench my fists against the wood in an attempt to gain some control. I tell myself to step back, but I
can’t. My body won’t respond. Her breathing is ragged, and her face is flushed. Shit. This feeling
right here, this is why I struggled so much to let her leave my bed. This is dangerous, because it’s
fucking intoxicating. She’s better than any booze, any drug, hell any bloody hooker. If I could bottle
what she’s selling, I’d make a fortune.
“Now, tell me what the fuck is wrong with you, and cut the bitchy shit.” I breathe against her face,
my voice husky. I can smell the scent of her perfume, the tequila on her breath. Her body heat seeps
through my shirt, and her breaths are laboured, as her ribcage rises and falls heavily against mine. I
clench my jaw, battling against the mental and physical assault that is all Molly.
A small frown mars her face as her eyes meet mine. “What?” She splutters, as a beautiful blush
creeps over her cheekbones.
I smile, enjoying her flustered state far too much. When you’ve had as much sex as I have, and
have the kind of tastes I have, clothed touching is not supposed to be a turn on, but damn I’m so
fucking hot for her right now. My dick is pressing against the fly of my jeans, and I’m gagging to grind
it against her. I try hard to focus, to remember what I was saying.
I drop my face to her neck. She gasps and trembles as my breath touches her skin. My fingers
clench, desperate to touch her, itching to rip her clothes off. “You’re pissy tonight Sweetness. Did I do
something to upset you?” I whisper inches from her ear.
When I pull back, her eyes are closed, and her head is tilted back against the door, exposing her
long neck to me. Her fingers are curled into my chest, her nails digging into my skin, through my shirt.
Her body is so tense, she looks as though she may snap.
“Molly.” I breathe against the skin of her throat.
Her eyes fly open, turmoil swirling in the blue depths. It’s a mix of anger and lust. Of course, I
hone in on the lust. Wrong.
 She clenches her jaw and pushes me, allowing just a small amount of space between us. “It’s
this.” She gestures between us. “You just can’t turn it off.”
I smirk. “Ah, but I only had to resort to this, because you wouldn’t just tell me what’s wrong.”
“You can’t just be friends, Hugo. You can’t help yourself from crossing the line.” She snaps. “This
isn’t friendship. We aren’t friends.” I won’t pretend that doesn’t sting.
I shrug. “That’s what we do. I flirt, and try to get in your pants. You turn me down and treat me
like a horny teenage boy that’s not worthy of your time. Say what you like Molly, but we are friends,
whether you like it or not.” It’s ridiculous, but I just like being around her. I respect the fact that I
fucked up, and I probably hurt her feelings, but what’s done is done. I like hanging around with her.
She’s fun.
I brush a loose strand of hair away from her neck, and she shivers, releasing an uneasy breath as
my fingers brush her neck. I narrow my eyes at her, watching her closely. I see the way her cheeks
flush, and her breathing is shallow. The look in her eye, it’s more than lust, it’s wild and untamed. It’s
animal need, and fuck, if every fibre in my body doesn’t rise up and roar at the challenge.
I lean in, so my lips are barely an inch from hers. “Your doctor not giving it to you right?” I
whisper against her lips.
“Fuck you!” She blurts too quickly.
I laugh. I forget how feisty she can be beneath that princess façade. “So un-lady like.” I tease.
“Is there a point to this conversation, or are you just going to stand here and be a total dick?” She
growls.
I shrug, leaning away from her again. “No, sweetness. Just know this, we are friends. We’ve
always been friends. If you need a little…help, then just say the word, and I’m there, as a friend of
course. If you won’t accept my help, then don’t get bitchy with me, just because you’re frustrated, and
my presence exacerbates it.” I say seriously.
“God, you think so much of yourself. If I were that desperate for help, I’d use my vibrator.”
I grin. “We both know I’m better than any toy.” I wink.
“Such. A. Dick.” She says a little breathily.
“I’m sorry. You want my dick? Well, as it’s you. I’m all for helping a friend.” She pushes me
away slightly and punches me in the arm. She smiles, and I swear to god, she could light up a room
with that shit. I get this feeling in my chest that I am seriously not comfortable with.
“We good?” I ask her, stepping close again.
She nods. “Yeah, we’re good.” She drops her head forward against my chest, leaving her hands
on my chest. I wrap my arms around her and rest my chin on her head.
“It’s okay, sweetness, even the best of us get grumpy when we’re horny.” I laugh.
“You don’t give yourself a chance to get horny.” She mumbles into my shirt.
“Seriously though, you sure you don’t just want a quickie?” I ask with a smile, jumping back to
avoid her fists.
“No! God, you’re vile.”
“Fine. You go back to the party, and I will be there shortly.” I step away from her, allowing her to
move.
“Why? Where are you going?” She asks suspiciously.
I glance down at the very obvious bulge in my trousers. “You seem to have left me in a bad way
babe. I need to sort this shit out.”
She shakes her head. “I should be used to it by now, and yet you never cease to shock and repulse
me.” She turns and pulls the door open.
 “It’s what you love about me!” I shout after her as she slips through the door, shaking her head.

I’m standing just outside the doors to the hotel, smoking a cigarette, when I catch sight of two
brunettes approaching. They’re wearing black dresses and heels. Pretty enough. My already hard
cock, begs me not to degrade myself by jacking off in the toilet, as though this is so beneath us. I kind
of have to agree.
I flash my most charming smile at the two women, who bat their eyelashes and very unsubtly
check me out.
“Ladies.” I say smoothly as I hold the door open for them. I quickly discard my cigarette, and
follow them as they make their way to the hotel bar. Theo can cope without me for a little while.
 CHAPTER FOUR
MOLLY
I’m laughing as George spins me around on the dance floor. He’s drunk, like really drunk.
I feel an arm loop through mine, and turn to see Lilly. She pulls me away from George and
towards the bar. She leans her elbows on the bar and slumps forward against it.
“I have just spent the last ten minutes talking to the worlds most boring man about probate law.
Shit, I can’t take much more of this.” She groans.
I laugh. “You’re fine. Stop being dramatic.”
I glance over my shoulder at the dance floor. George has shimmied off and is now dancing with
someone else, someone I don’t know, and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t either. The middle aged woman
looks delighted though, so I guess he’s probably just made her night.
“I need a wee.” Lilly says. Girl code for, come to the toilet with me. You never turn down the
toilet run, it’s just not done. “And then you and I are going to get fucking trashed. If I can still
remember my own name in an hour then you’re a shit friend.” Her bright red lips kick up in a wry
smile. She gestures the barman over with a seductive smile and a flick of her hair. He falls over
himself to get to her. “Tequila, please.” He moves and grabs two shot glasses. “No.” She shakes her
head. “The bottle will do. Charge it to the bill.” She says smugly.
I sigh, because no, she probably shouldn’t be getting wasted at her own engagement party, but fuck
it, there’s no arguing with her. Theo knew she was a live wire when he proposed to her. He couldn’t
possibly imagine that she would do this without some good old fashioned help. Lilly’s like a bush
fire, wild and untameable. I try to rein her in where possible, but sometimes being a good friend isn’t
about prying the tequila shot from her fingers, it’s about picking one up and getting rip roaring drunk
with her. Besides, this isn’t the destructive drinking that she’s often fond of, this is celebratory
drinking. Kind of.
She clings to my arm as she walks on sky scraper heals over the soft carpet of the hotel hallway.
She’s swigging from the tequila as she goes. Oh god, even the smell has my stomach wanting to rebel.
I can drink tequila, but it just reminds me of every horrifyingly bad hang over I’ve ever had. Lilly
drinks that shit like it’s water. There’s a queue for the toilets just outside, so we venture further into
the hotel in pursuit of a loo without a half hour wait time.
We manage to find one on the first floor. I push the door open and stop dead. Oh my fucking god.
Really?!
There, leaning against the vanity unit, is a woman, skirt hiked up over her hips, and a very
familiar blonde head of hair between her legs.
“Wow, really?” Lilly says casually.
Hugo at least has the decency to look a little sheepish. Once he’s removed his face from between
the woman’s legs, that is, and his fingers from another one, that I hadn’t noticed standing on the other
side of her.
He strains his neck to look up at us over the thigh that is currently thrown over his shoulder.
“Jesus, Hugo. When you said you need to sort yourself out, I thought you meant a quick wank.” I
hold my hands up. “Silly me, should have known better. Threesomes with total strangers is much more
your style.” I roll my eyes.
“Is she your girlfriend?” The woman whose vagina he was just face planting asks. There’s a sly
lilt to her lips, which by the way, have far too much collagen in them. Ugh, she’s one of those women.
 I snort. “God, no.” I laugh.
She scowls at me. Her friend looks embarrassed as she pulls her skirt down. Hugo removes the
woman’s thigh and pushes to his feet. He shrugs, his trademark grin on his face. He’s like a puppy. It
shits on the carpet, and you really want to tell it off, but it’s cute, and you can’t.
“Uh, that’s your cue to leave.” Lilly growls at the two girls. Trout pout looks like she might put up
a fight, but a quick glare from Lilly silences her. The pair scurry out of the toilet.
“Seriously Hugo. Get some fucking standards.” Lilly sighs, before oh so graciously thrusting her
tequila at me and going into one of the toilet cubicles.
Hugo watches me carefully. I shrug and offer him a small smile. It’s Hugo. You expect these
things. I suppose it used to bother me when I was sleeping with him, mainly because it’s just gross. I
know that the way Hugo is with me is about as close to respect as he’ll ever get with a woman. For a
start, he cares if I’m mad at him, which is why he’s looking at me like that puppy that just shat on the
carpet.
I take my lip gloss out of my clutch, and start applying it in the mirror. He goes to grab the tequila
bottle and I snatch it away from him.
“If you seriously think you are drinking from that bottle after where your lips have just been, you
are sadly mistaken.” I snort.
His lips kick up. “Well, as I recall, you don’t mind the taste of pussy.”
I let out an exasperated sigh and glance sideways at him. “See, now you manage to make that
sound so dirty, when we both know that my own pussy on your lips is different to that skanky vagina
you were just poking around in.”
He laughs, and I’m sure I hear a little giggle from the cubicle.
I turn back to the mirror, and rub my lips together. “I hope you at least got off before we lost you
your companions for the night.” I smirk, and meet his eyes in the mirror.
He narrows his eyes. “What do you take me for? I made her blow me first. I don’t eat pussy
without getting blown first.”
I raise an eyebrow at him, because I know that’s not true. He points at me in the mirror. “That’s
different.” He says defensively.
“What’s different?” Lilly asks innocently as she opens the cubicle door. A small smirk pulls at her
lips as she washes her hands.
“Nothing.” I say at the same time as Hugo. I glare at him, and he laughs.
Lilly’s smirk grows into a full blown grin. “You two are so fucking cute.” She says.
“Fuck you.” Hugo grumbles. She laughs as she dries her hands.

By the time we get back to the party, Hugo and Lilly have polished off the bottle of tequila. I made
him wash his mouth out first. She’s clinging to his arm now. When it comes to drinking buddies, Hugo
is always favourite. No-one parties like he does, and Lilly loves it, even though she likes to pretend
she doesn’t like him, it’s all bullshit.
They go straight to the bar and order an unholy amount of vodka, and tequila slammers.
She pushes a double vodka and soda in front of me, along with three shots of tequila. “It is going
to take a fuck load of the strong stuff to bleach what I just saw from my mind.” She announces. Hugo
laughs. She clinks a shot glass with me, and downs the tequila like water. “Plus, this party sucks. We
are going to have our own party.” She grins.
“About fucking time.” Hugo mumbles.
Shit is about to get messy.
 I wake up on Sunday morning with a disgusting hang over. That party got crazy. When Lilly said
she didn’t want boring, she wasn’t lying. Holy shit. I can’t remember much past the five Jeager bombs
that she insisted I do with her. I vaguely recall her vomming in a plant pot somewhere, and Theo
holding her hair. Someone carrying me somewhere. Shit. I try to sit up, and my head spins violently.
“Oh fuck.” I moan, pressing my hand over my eyes.
I’m mentally willing myself to just die, and get it over with, when I notice a body in the bed next
to me, and I freeze. Please tell me I did not bring home some random guy. Please, please, please. I
pray to the god of dirty one night stands.
I gingerly glance to my right. Oh fuck no. The only thing worse than finding a stranger in your
bed…finding Hugo in your bed.
“Nooo.” I groan to myself. I tilt my head back and stare at the ceiling. Why?! Why him?!
I look down at myself quickly. I’m wearing my ratty old Jack Daniels shirt, and a pair of sleep
shorts. I’m not naked, but I clearly got naked, to get re-dressed at some point. Shit. I try and
desperately pick through my foggy memories, until my head hurts even more.
I look back over to Hugo’s topless form. The duvet is sitting just above his hips. One arm is
underneath the duvet, no doubt holding his junk, knowing Hugo. The other arm is thrown over his
face, covering his eyes.
My eyes trail down over his defined chest, and his cut abs. Stop! I mentally scold myself.
Oh god, please tell me I didn’t fuck him. I mean, it’s Hugo. What is the likelihood that he managed
to sleep in a bed with someone who possesses a vagina, and not fuck them? Pretty bloody unlikely. I
take a deep breath and tentatively reach over to him. I take the edge of the duvet and carefully lift it,
looking underneath. Boxers! He has boxers on. I breathe a sigh of relief.
“You know sweetness, if you wanted a peek at Rambo, you only have to ask.” His groggy voice
makes me jump. He chuckles, a low throaty sound.
I grab my chest and swat at him. “Prick.” I grumble. My voice sounds thick and raspy. I hope I
don’t look as bad as I feel and sound, because that would be bad, so so bad. “I was checking you had
underwear on, in case we…” I wave my hand around.
He lowers his arm from his face and cocks an eyebrow at me. “In case we fucked?” He asks. I
nod. He laughs. “Sweetness, there was no fucking way I was sticking my dick anywhere near you last
night. You and Lilly, you’re a fucking liability, the pair of you.” She shakes his head.
I scowl. “I resent that statement. You will stick your dick in anything. And we weren’t that bad.” I
say defensively. Truth be told, I can’t remember shit. For all I know, I could have been dancing naked
on the bar. That might have happened once before. I blame Lilly! This shit only happens when I’m
with her.
“I will not fuck anything. I have standards, and those standards do not include vomit covered,
unconscious girls.”
I put my head in my hands and groan. “Shit. There was vomiting?”
He huffs a laugh. “It’s a good fucking job I like you as much as I do, because that was fucking
disgusting.” He shudders. “I had to hose you down.”
“What?!” I shriek, but then flinch. Oh, my head!
“Yeah. I mean, I think about you naked a lot babe, but you might have just ruined it for me.” He
throws his arm back over his eyes, and settles back into the bed, a stupid grin on his face. Dick.
“Why did you stay?” I ask.
“Because you asked me to.” He says bluntly. Me and my big, unhinged, drunken mouth. Bloody
Lilly!
“So you washed me, dressed me, and then stayed the night…and just slept.” I ask.
“Yep. Just call me the fairy fucking godmother.” He grumbles.
I frown, even as this warm feeling spreads across my chest. Hugo is easier to deal with when he’s
being an arse. I mean, he’s charming even when he is an arse. A Hugo who looks after me and puts me
to bed…now that is dangerous.
I drag my arse out of bed, and sway slightly as I get to my feet. I check myself for a second, before
staggering to my en-suite. I pee, and brush my teeth, trying to rid myself of the taste of Jeager, and…is
that cigarette? Gross!
I glance in the mirror, and holy shit, that is so not pretty. I have make up all down my face. My
eyes are blood shot and squinty, and my hair…It looks like it’s been washed, towel dried and slept
on. Which it has. I find a hair tie next to my sink and scrape it into a messy bun. I then find my make-
up wipes, and remove the layer of black that is making it’s descent down my cheeks.
God, I need water, but I don’t think I can make it to the kitchen. I feel like I’m going to hurl. I bend
over and drink straight from the tap.
When I get back into my bedroom, Hugo hasn’t moved. I sit on the end of my bed, deliberating
what to do with myself. A glance at the clock on my bedside table tells me it’s gone ten. God, I should
get up and do something.
“Just fucking get back in bed.” Hugo mutters.
I turn, facing him. I can’t see his face, as his arm is still covering it. “What?”
“I know you’re freaking out, because it’s Sunday and you should do something.” He says in a
mocking voice.
“Yeah, well some of us actually work in the week.” I retort.
He snorts. “Sweetness, you did more than enough last night. Now, you recover. If you’re
desperate to do something, I’ll take you later.” His voice is still thick with sleep.
“Don’t you need to go home?” I ask. “What about Gary?”
“Maria’s in this morning. She’ll let him out. She’ll be pretty happy she doesn’t have to clean up
after me this morning.” Maria is Hugo and Theo’s house keeper. Neither of them need a full time
house keeper, so they share her. She goes to Hugo’s Friday through Sunday, and cleans up after his
parties, and with some of the shit that goes down at those parties, I can only assume she is paid very,
very well. “Come on.” He says, pulling back the duvet on my side.
Bed does sound so appealing right now. I feel as though my brain is trying to escape through my
nose. I climb in and relax into my fluffy pillows. Hugo opens his arms, and pulls me tight to his side. I
stiffen for a moment.
He doesn’t even open his eyes. “Relax Molly, I’m not going to jump you. I just like sleeping with
you. You’re comfy. I wasn’t going to come near you last night in case you threw up on me.” He smiles.
“Careful.” I mumble. “Keep saying shit like that, and you might grow a vagina.”
“You’re right. In fact my junk may have just shrunk a little.” He shoves his hand under the duvet,
groping himself.
“Will you stop?!” I hiss. “I do not need you touching your peen right next to me. Gross.”
He laughs, the deep rumble vibrating his chest under my ear. It relaxes my tense muscles, and the
warmth of his body filters through my shirt. My bare legs press against his hairy ones, and a feeling of
familiarity, of safety, washes over me. Whatever Hugo and I are or were, he’s always been somewhat
comforting to me. That may be strange, but it’s true. I rest my head on his shoulder and inhale the fresh
scent of him. Even laced with tequila and cigarettes, he still manages to smell, clean and refreshing. I
fall asleep to his slow breathes, with his arm wrapped tightly around my waist.

I’m dying on the sofa when the door buzzer goes. It’s mid-afternoon, and I don’t really feel any
better. I’ve managed to make it from my bed to the sofa, but that’s it. I even still have my duvet. Hugo
stays with me, watching TV and trying to feed me, which isn’t going over so well. Mostly though, he
just takes the piss out of me. Hugo doesn’t get up early enough to experience hang overs, he sleeps
right through them. Not to mention the fact that his alcohol tolerance must be through the roof.
He gets up to answer the door. A few minutes later and Theo and Lilly appear. Lilly has on a
hoody, with the hood pulled up, and a massive pair of sunglasses. She kicks her shoes off and
immediately crawls under my duvet on the sofa with me. She tucks herself between me and the back
of the sofa, and wraps her arms around me, spooning me. Our sofa is easily as wide as a single bed.
“I think I’m dying.” She whines.
“Me, too.” I groan.
“Can tequila induce a stroke? I can’t feel my face. Call Alex. Ask him.” She mumbles into my
hair.
Laughter, that’s all I hear from Hugo and Theo. Bastards.
“Next time you’re hung over, I’m going to start blasting rock music around the house.” Lilly
promises.
“Sugar, I don’t get hung over. At least not like you do. I mean, you just don’t hold back babe. You
are a balls to the wall fucking mess.” Theo tells her.
“Hey, I had to hose her down.” Hugo says pointing at me. “Shit doesn’t get much more disgusting
than that.”
“Piss off!” I say as loudly as my pounding head will allow. They both laugh like the smug
bastards they are.
“Dude, she tried to jump me, whilst still covered in her own vomit.” Theo says through his
laughter. “I mean, I’ve seen her in some states, and never said no, but that was whole new levels.”
“Fuck you.” Lilly mumbles, her face buried in my back somewhere. “Don’t you two have
somewhere to be?”
They do eventually leave us to our pitiful states, going out to do some man shit. Apparently Theo
is organising, as he and Lilly are leaving for a month long business trip in two days. He has offices in
Paris and Rome. She’s going as his legal aid, but well, we all know why she’s really going. He can’t
be without her for a whole month. It’s so cute. Right now though, Lilly couldn’t care less what is
happening.
“We’re going to lay here and die for a bit, and then we’re going to order pizza.” She mumbles into
my back, her arms wrapped tightly around my waist.
I close my eyes against the pounding in my head. I don’t think I’ve ever had a hang over this
brutal.

I still don’t feel great on Monday morning. I had totally forgotten that Alex was supposed to be
coming over last night. I had to cancel last minute for fear that he might take one look at me and run
away screaming. So now, I’m sitting at my desk, pretending to look at my computer as my vision blurs
a little. My boss is in mega bitch mode today, which is not helping. I work for a fashion magazine, and
as cliché as The Devil Wears Prada is, my life isn’t dissimilar. I swear the woman just knows how
much I hate this materialistic, shallow bullshit, so she rams it down my throat even more.
I got this job because I have an impressive CV and what she called a ‘bullet proof’ attitude.
Looking at the other people who work here, that’s not hard. I once saw Sarah, the receptionist actually
cry because one of the editorial assistants said she looked like she had put on weight. Seriously? This
is the shit I have to put up with. I just need to keep my head down, make editor within a few years,
and then bugger off and get a proper editor’s position, for a magazine that writes something useful.
“Molly!” Diane’s voice screeches from her office. Her voice is like nails being dragged down a
chalk board. I steel myself and get up from my desk which is stationed in a small entry office, just off
hers.
“Yes.” I say through gritted teeth. She looks up from her desk, watching me over the rims of her
glasses, which are perched on the end of her nose. She has a severe black bob, with a fringe that sits
just above her eyebrows. She always wears bright red lipstick, and a sharp suit, usually with a pencil
skirt, and she would never ever leave her house without a pair of six inch heels on. She’s the
definition of fashionista.
“Well come in child, don’t just stand there.” She barks. It used to annoy me that she called me
child. I mean, she can’t be much older than forty herself, although I have no doubt the woman is a hard
core Botox junky. Or maybe she just doesn’t smile…or frown. Who knows? Now though, I’m used to
it.
She has some photos arranged in front of her. “Jean Luc is going to be here this afternoon.” She
says without looking up at me. “This is his new collection.” She makes a sweeping gesture across the
photos. All I can see is a lot of bright colours and weird materials. I mean really? A bright yellow
pleather dress. This cannot be the cutting edge of fashion. It reminds me of those stupid abstract
paintings that people pay millions for. It’s not cool in its simplicity, or pioneering and innovative. The
artist isn’t before their time. A five year old could have painted it.
Well, quite frankly, a builder who knows shit all about fashion could have designed that dress.
Clearly I know nothing.
“Melanie can’t make it for the demo, so you’ll be replacing her.” Again, she doesn’t even look up
at me. Melanie Dohl is a model.
“You want me to model?”
“Yes.” She finally looks up at me. “You’re a little broad, but you’re not too far off. You’ll do for
today. I just need to see what the collection looks like, and what pieces we want to feature in this
month’s edition.” I know what she’s doing, but seriously, she wants me to model?
“I’m not very good with things like that.” I say awkwardly. She tilts her head forward, giving me
the full on bitch look.
“It wasn’t a request.” She looks back down at the pictures in front of her. “You can go.” She
dismisses me.
I go back to my desk and rest my forehead on it. I’m pretty sure that the term ‘human Barbie doll’
is not in my job description. If I refuse though, then she will fire me. This isn’t the first time she’s
made me do something like this.

I think my life just hit new lows. I’m standing here in the bloody yellow dress. The pleather,
yellow dress. It’s so short, my vagina is in danger of making an appearance, and I’m pretty sure it’s a
size four. I’m a size eight! My organs are so compressed, I may spring a hernia any minute.
“Isn’t it stunning?” Jean Luc is all of five and a half foot. He’s dressed in a purple shirt and dark
grey trousers. His hair is quite long and pulled back in a ponytail, and he has this ridiculous French
accent to match his oh so European look. He’s a walking bloody cliche if ever I saw one.
“It’s slutty chic.” Diane muses. No, just slutty. Funny that if this dress cost fifty quid it would be
slutty, but as soon as it costs five hundred quid, it’s chic.
“Okay, next.” She barks. Elena is another model that I often see coming in and out of here. She’s
the other model for the day, except she doesn’t mind it, because it’s her job. We both turn and step out
of the room. My office has been fashioned into a small dressing room. I’ve been at fittings before, and
seen models literally just get naked in front of whoever. Like I say, it’s their job, they don’t care. I
however, refuse to get naked in front of the tiny Frenchman…or Diane for that matter. I can only
imagine what she’d say about my flat stomach. Surely it should be concaved. I’m pretty sure she
wants liver definition in there.
“That dress really is awful.” Elena whispers in her American accent, giggling.
“Thank god it’s not just me. I thought I was just not ‘getting it’.” I cock an eyebrow.
I pick my phone up off my desk, and press the camera button. I stretch my arm out and take a
selfie, before sending it to Lilly.
“This is so bad, it has to be shared.” I mutter.
She laughs. “That’s so bad, I wouldn’t go sharing it.”
Getting out of the dress is a little bit like trying to squeeze out a splinter. Painful, and hard work.
The next dress is better, although the back drops so low, my underwear is showing.
“You need to take off your panties.”
“What? Like, totally?” She nods. I sigh and go for full on crack exposure.
She shrugs one shoulder apologetically. “Designers.” She offers as way of explanation.
Whole. New. Lows.

I get home at six. I said I’d meet Alex for dinner at eight. I don’t normally book dates on a
Monday, because no-one ever feels like going out on a Monday night. With his work schedule though,
and my cancelling on him last night, I want to see him. I’m just not really feeling venturing out in
public. Maybe we could just get take away here? No. That might look like I can’t be bothered, which
I can’t, but I don’t want him to feel like I don’t care. God, I can totally see why Lilly and George are
so into casual sex, or was in Lilly’s case.

My phone rings just as I’m walking through the front door. As if my day wasn’t bad enough
already, it’s my father. I take a deep breath. I never speak to my dad unless I have to. He only ever
calls me if it’s necessary.
I swipe my finger over the green button. “Hello.”
“Molly.” Just the sound of his voice makes me shrink slightly. I despise my father, and everything
he stands for, yet I’m terrified of disappointing him. Even though everything I do disappoints him.
Figures I would be one of those girls with classic daddy issues.
“Dad. How are you?” I ask politely.
He doesn’t answer my question. “I’m in London next week for a business trip. I want us to meet
for dinner.” I haven’t spoken to my father for five months, and when I do, he treats me like an
appointment to be fitted in amongst his business dealings.
“Okay.”
“Good. I’ll email you the details.” He says quickly before he hangs up. I stare at the phone for a
minute, fighting the usual feelings of inadequacy that always arise whenever I speak to him.
My father has always been a selfish man, totally driven by money and success. People’s measure
of success varies dramatically, and my father’s idea of success is not the same as mine. He and my
mother could not be any more different if they tried. He met her twenty five years ago, in New York.
He was an investment broker. She was a model. It’s the usual story; rich man meets a foreign beauty.
My mother is half Swedish, half Russian, and stunningly beautiful. She’s also kind, and selfless. She’s
the best person I know. For a long time, my father adored her, worshipped her beauty, gravitated
towards her inner grace, as everyone else did. Until one day he didn’t any more.
Ten years ago, he started having an affair. He found a new, younger version of my mother. She
kicked him out. I was thirteen at the time. Old enough to understand everything. Old enough to resent
my father for discarding the most amazing woman I’ve ever known. He left her with nothing. Even
after everything he did to her, my mother insisted I have a relationship with him, insisted that I not
resent him for his actions. She told me that the heart wants what the heart wants, and I had no right to
judge him for that.
I do judge him, because he’s a selfish bastard.
He still supported me, financially at least. He paid for my education, funded my Cambridge
degree. He even insists on paying for my flat, and my mum insists I let him, because she hates the idea
of me living in a rough area.
He doesn’t care about me though. I’m a continual disappointment to him. I studied journalism,
when he wanted me to study business. I moved in with George and Lilly, both of whom he
disapproves of. He says I’m too much like my mother, too free. I shouldn’t care what he thinks, but I
do, and a visit from him only ever ends one way. Me feeling like shit.
Poor Alex is going to get the crap end of the deal tonight.
I meet him at a little Italian restaurant around the corner from my flat at eight. He’s looking sharp.
Really sharp. A pale blue shirt stretches across his broad shoulders, and is tailored perfectly to his
narrow hips. He’s wearing jeans that are doing him a world of favours. I manage to arrange my face
into some semblance of a smile. It’s not without effort. Anything involving my father seems to have
the ability to send me running for the vodka, or at least it would if I didn’t still feel so bloody rough
from Saturday night.
“Hey.” He flashes me a perfect smile.
“Hey.”
He reaches for me, pulling me in and brushing his lips across my cheek. He’s clean shaven, but a
day’s worth of growth scratches lightly across my skin.
“You look lovely as always.” He comments. I glance down at myself. I’m wearing a loose off the
shoulder grey jumper, black skinny jeans and flat over the knee boots. Compared to him I look
positively drab.
He hands me a glass of red wine and I smile. What more could a girl want than a hot man who
brings her wine? I don’t have the heart to tell him that the thought of alcohol still makes me want to
hurl.
He places his hand on the small of my back and guides me to a small table near the back of the
restaurant. He pulls my chair out for me. I’m seated next to the radiator, so I’m happy.
He settles in opposite me. “So, I take it the party got a little wild on Saturday.”
“Yeah. I blame Lilly entirely. That girl is a bloody liability.”
He laughs. “You say these things, but she’s never been anything but perfectly poised whenever
I’ve seen her.”
“Uh, were you not there for the piss bag tantrums?” I laugh just at the memory. Most people wake
up from a coma and have questions, concerns, whatever. Pretty much one of the first things Lilly did
was freak out when she discovered she had a catheter in. She said she felt violated and demanded
they take it out. Of course, with most of the bones in her body broken, she couldn’t really get to the
toilet. Do you think she let it drop? Hell no. She kicked up hell until they took it out. Then of course,
poor Theo had to carry her to the loo every time she needed to go. That guy is such a sucker for her
shit. Needless to say, there were tantrums about the ‘piss bag’, as she referred to it.
He shrugs. “I’d probably be pissed off if I woke up to find someone had shoved tubes in certain
places.” He laughs. “Although it might be over shadowed by the ‘technically died’ thing.”
I roll my eyes. “You’d think. But yeah, she is a liability. She decided the engagement party was
boring…her own party, and got rip roaring drunk.”
“And you got drunk with her?” His lips kick up at one side in a way that makes me want to kiss
him.
“Be rude not to. What kind of maid of honour lets the bride drink alone? It’s not good form. I have
duties.” None of which I have actually performed. I think I’m supposed to organise and shit, but well,
not even Lilly is doing any organising. Cat has taken over. “Although, yesterday I was really wishing I
hadn’t.”
“That bad?”
I shake my head. “So bad. I thought I might actually die.”
He laughs. “Wow, I can’t even remember the last time I was like that. It must have been when I
was at university.” He ponders.
I know he doesn’t mean anything by it, he’s just making conversation, but it suddenly makes me
feel very juvenile. Alex has his shit together. He’s a doctor for god’s sake. He owns a flat in London.
Okay, it’s not a massive flat, but it’s in a reasonable area. And he owns it. Like, made an investment,
and pays a mortgage. Serious shit.
I love my wild and crazy friends, and I’m used to being the sensible mothering one of the group.
With Alex though, suddenly I feel like the wild one. I’m not used to it.
“Well, I don’t recommend it. Although, you really should let your hair down every now and then
Dr. Ryker.” I tease.
His gold eyes sparkle under the dim lights of the restaurant. “Deal. The next time I have a couple
of days off, we’re going out, and we’re getting drunk.”
I grin. “Oh, this should be good. Am I going to unleash a beast?”
“You’ll have to wait and see.” He winks and flashes me a cheeky smile that has me in dire need of
an underwear change. Please let him be a sex crazed pervert when he’s drunk. Please, please, please.
 CHAPTER FIVE
HUGO
Okay, so I may have pulled a total dick move.
I was horny as fuck last night. I’d spent the previous night in Molly’s bed, and I think my cock may
have disowned me for not having a crack. It’s not like she wasn’t keen. She was practically dry
humping my leg at one point. I’ll admit the throwing up did slightly dampen the mood, but if I’m
honest, I’ve fucked worse. Getting her naked and showering her should not have been hot in any way.
It should have had all the sexual appeal of showering an elderly person who can’t shower themselves.
A normal person would have seen it that way. Hell, my mind might have seen it that way, but my other
head…well…boobs. That’s pretty much it.
Needless to say I was wound up to fuck after that, and my hand just wasn’t doing the trick. So I
went out to a bar I sometimes visit, and I picked up this girl. She seemed perfectly normal at the time.
Now, I don’t take chicks back to my place. It’s always a nightmare in the morning, because no matter
how many times you tell them it’s just sex, they’re always, always shocked to realise they’ve been
used like a cheap hooker. Seriously, was me telling her to suck me like a dirty whore not clue enough?
Then you have to try and get the crazy bitch out of your house. Not to mention the fact that she then
knows where I live. No, no, no. Not good.
Last night’s conquest is from out of town, so I got a hotel room. Now this bitch is freaky, and
when I say it’s freaky, it’s fucking freaky! It’s been a long time since a girl has wanted to stick her
finger up my arse, but well…the pipes needed a good clean, and fucking hell, nothing makes me come
harder than a little hole action. She just slipped it on up there while she sucked me off. Like a fucking
pro. I half wondered whether she might ask me for money this morning, she was that good. No such
luck though. This morning, she asked me to go to breakfast with her. Breakfast! What is this, a fucking
date? Jesus, I fucked her, I’m not marrying her.
I declined of course, and she got real fucking twitchy. Like, whole can of crazy twitchy. I know
that look, and it means shit is about to go down, and balls are going to get busted. So, because I hate
crazy women, and have no desire to deal with that shit, I went to breakfast with her.
I managed to fire a sneaky text to Theo on the way down. It simply read: SOS. I then sent him the
hotel address.
This a perfected system we have going on.
She starts talking, and it turns out I said I would take her back to her friend’s house on the other
bloody side of London. I’m not sitting in a car with this bitch for an hour. No way no how. When will
women realise that a guy will say anything to get laid?
Fuck, I can’t even remember her name. She’s kind of pretty, which is a miracle considering how
much I drank last night. She has blonde hair and blue eyes. I’ve never had a type before, I mean pussy
is pussy, but blondes do seem to be my thing lately. She actually doesn’t look that young, and judging
from her moves last night, she’s not. No eighteen year old can pull that shit. She’s wearing a pair of
skin tight jeans and some weird see through top. I’ve definitely done worse.
She chats to me endlessly about her life, none of which I remotely give a fuck about. I remember
now why I don’t like talking to women after sex. You meet a woman, you think she’s hot, you take her
to a room, and you fuck her brains out. There’s an element of mystery in this. I don’t then want to
know that she’s a fucking hair dresser, or that she has a kid. Illusion ruined. Harsh, I know, but true.
My phone beeps with a text from Theo: Here.
 “Is that your girlfriend?” She suddenly asks. O-kay. There’s that crazy again.
“My friend.” I say with a small smile. “Uh, listen, I think I left my wallet upstairs in the room, I’m
just going to get it so I can pay for breakfast.”
She smiles and shrugs one shoulder. “Okay.”
I plaster a fake grin on my face and haul arse. I don’t even stop at the reception desk, just pull a
wad of cash from my wallet…which is in my pocket, and throw it on the desk. “Room 104.” I tell the
startled looking woman behind the desk.
I glance back over my shoulder to check that crazy isn’t following, and jog through the main door
of the hotel. Rescue is awaiting me on the curb in the form of Theo, waiting in his bright red McLaren.
I pull the handle and the door pops upward. I might have to get one of these, it’s a serious boys
toy. He used to have an Aston, and it was his pride and joy, until some crazy chick hijacked it whilst
high off her face, and crashed it, with Lilly inside. Yeah, it’s a long story.
I slide into the leather seat, and turn to face him, with a smug grin plastered all over his face.
“What was it this time? You get roped into a threesome again?” He asks as he pulls away from the
curb.
“That was one time!” I fell foul to the old threesome trick. Meet a hot woman, have some drinks,
get drunk. She manages to get me so horny I can’t see straight, and then she mentions that she’s
married, and that he likes to watch. I’m cool with that. I’ve fucked in front of people many times. Of
course though, he never just watches, and before you know it, your wang slapping some dude you’ve
never met, and forming a whole new bro code whilst you both violate the shit out of his wife. What
can I say? Shit happens. “This was just a standard crazy.”
My phone beeps with a text from an unknown number: ‘Where are you? I miss you already. Xx’
“Fucking sneaky bitch.”
Theo laughs, slapping his hand against the steering wheel. “She got your number? Amateur move
dude. Never let the crazies get your number.”
“I’m sorry. Clearly I’m not versed in the art of the true crazy.”
“Seriously? I swear every other girl I went near turned out to be psycho.” He mumbles.
I tilt my head toward him. “Uh, yeah, because you look like that, fucker. Woman don’t even care if
you use them. It’s disgusting.”
He laughs and wiggles his eyebrows. “Jealous?”
“No, because now, you are officially a pussy whipped little bitch, and I get all the pussy to
myself. No more taking the ones that you didn’t pick, you prick.” Given a choice, women will always
fuck Theo, he’s just…Theo. I can’t really explain it. He has that whole ‘I’m super fucking awesome
and you can’t touch me’ thing going on, so of course, they then all want to touch him. Whereas I’m
game for any touching, any time. If you’re going to have a wingman though, Theo is your guy. Women
flock to him like flies on shit, and his newly loved up status means they all get deferred to me.
Awesome.
“You got much on today?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “Just packing some shit up really.”
“I totally forgot you were leaving.” Theo and Lilly are going to Rome for a month or so. Theo has
offices in London, Rome, Paris and Berlin. His brother runs the Paris one, he sort of runs the London
one and the others have management in place, but there’s been a problem with money laundering or
some shit in Rome, so Theo’s going to bust some balls. I’ll miss him, in a totally manly way. He’s my
best friend, but he’s more like a brother. We kind of grew up together, neither of us having much to do
with our families.
 “You know how much I hate actually working.” He whines. “And Lilly is already bitching. She
wants Molly to come.”
I laugh. “Oh, imagine the fun you’d have Lilly, Molly and you.”
He throws me a blank look. “No. Not happening.” Whenever Lilly and Molly are together, they
gang up. Even if there are two of us, they still manage to gang up. Those two are scary feisty.
He pulls up to the metal gate of his house, and presses a button on a fob. The gates slide open
easily, and the tyres roll across the gravel driveway.
“You coming in?” He asks.
I shrug. “Sure.”

A couple of days later, and Theo and Lilly are gone. I’m bored already. I mean seriously, when
you don’t have to work, what do you do all day, except hang out with your friend who also doesn’t
have to work? Don’t get me wrong, I only see Theo a couple of days a week really, but still.
I tried to take Gaz for a walk earlier, but he wasn’t having it.
I text the only other person besides Gary and Theo who I actually like hanging out with. Molly.
Me: What you doing?
Molly: Working. You should try it some time.
Me: What you doing after that?
Molly: Nothing. Why? I’m not fucking you.
I laugh at that. She knows me too well.

At six o clock, I’m sat in my car just outside Molly’s office building. Horns are blaring as people
try and squeeze past in rush hour traffic.
I spot Molly exit the building through the revolving doors. Her blonde hair is loose, with a small
braid pinned back from her head. It’s weird seeing her in her work clothes. She looks hot. That pencil
skirt is so dirty secretary.
She narrows her eyes when she spots the car, and takes purposeful strides towards it. She pulls
open the passenger door and drops into the seat with a huff.
“Could you be any more ostentatious if you tried?” She sighs.
I smile. “Hey, don’t dis the Lambo.”
“Hugo, you do realise that by driving this car, you might as well put a sign on it that says; I have a
tiny penis.”
I snort. “Well, we both know that’s not true, sweetness.” I put the car in gear, ready to pull away.
“Seen bigger.” She says casually.
I slam my foot back down on the clutch and turn to glare at her. “Take it back.”
She smiles. “Nope.”
“My car is not a reflection on Rambo, although I do get a hard-on when I drive it.” I smirk.
“TMI.” She mumbles.
“Take it back.” I repeat.
“But how do you know I haven’t seen bigger?” She asks.
“Who are you fucking? Porn stars? Or is the doctor packing an anaconda? Because if he is, you
should just marry him now.” I tell her. “It would level the playing field if he could have a wiener
though, just saying.” I flick the indicator and pull out into the steady stream of traffic. Well, sort of
pull into the traffic jam that is London at rush hour.
She snorts. “Oh, because you so need it levelling. You have enough willing vaginas throwing
themselves at you to last a lifetime.”
“True. Don’t think I didn’t notice your subtle manoeuvre out of that one.”
“I’m not talking to you about Alex’s cock Hugo.” She huffs. “You know you’re fucking weird
right?”
“I thought we were friends.” I smile, ignoring her weird comment.
“We are, but like I said, it’s weird.”
“Hey, Theo always used to tell me about the girls he banged. In fact, the first time he tapped Lilly,
he said she had the best tits he’s ever seen. High fucking praise let me tell you. No wonder he wants
to marry her.” I mutter.
She rolls her head toward me, flashing me an impatient look. “Yes Hugo, that is exactly why he’s
marrying her.” I shrug. “And two straight guys discussing a girls tits is nowhere near as weird as a
straight guy asking about another guys wang.”
“Hey, I’m a modern man. Anyway, I’m going to hazard a guess that you haven’t seen it.” I’m half
joking, but then, I’m very good at sensing sexual frustration in a woman, and Molly is wound
seriously tight. Her silence tells me all. “Holy shit. How long has it been?”
“A while.” She grumbles. I laugh, a lot. “Fuck you.” She growls.
“Babe, just seduce him. He can’t possibly turn you down.”
“I don’t know how. He’s not like you Hugo. He’s…I don’t know…refined. A gentleman. I can’t
just get naked and jump him. He’ll just think I’m a slut.”
“No. He could be Jesus Christ himself Sweetness, but he’s still just a guy. And trust me when I
say we are wired to think with our dicks.” I explain.
“He’s not a whore like you.” She replies.
I shake my head. “Doesn’t matter. He has a penis, and therefore he is ruled by it. Get underneath
the ‘I save lives’ bullshit, and that’s all there is. We’re all just animals acting on instinct. The only
difference between me and him is he has the decency to hide it. I don’t give a fuck.” I flash her a
cocky grin and her lips twitch as she rolls her eyes.
“What if he just doesn’t want me like that?” If any other girl asked me something like that I’d
recoil faster than the speed of light, but hey, she’s hanging out with me, so I’ll do my time and do the
girl thing.
“He’s probably just trying to…like, be respectful.”
“You’re struggling to keep a straight face right now aren’t you?” She asks flatly.
I burst out laughing. “I’m sorry, it’s the word respectful in reference to sex. I can’t take that shit
seriously.”
“You’re a fucking animal.” She says as she runs her fingers through her blonde hair.
“The best kind baby.” I wink at her as we finally pull free of the traffic.
“Where are we going?” She asks.
“Anywhere you want, sweetness.” I answer.

Where she wants ends up being a fucking nail salon place. She’s real fucking funny.
She sits at a table, with her hands spread in front of her. A small Asian woman is filing her nails.
I’m a few feet away from her, also facing a little Asian woman. Well, if I’m here, I might as well see
what all the fuss is about.
“I cannot believe you agreed to this.” Molly shakes her head.
“Let’s just make it clear. I did not agree to this, I was coerced.”
“Uh huh, so coerced, that you are now having a manicure.” She grins.
 “Well, I’m here now…” I argue. “And just so you know, we’re stopping in at a strip club on the
way home, you know, so that I can relocate my testicles.” The woman opposite me looks up with a
scowl on her face. I flash her a quick smile, but her expression doesn’t change. I don’t think she likes
me.
“I am not going into a strip club.” Molly says sternly.
“Why? Never seen a real pair of boobs before?” I tease.
She gasps. “You!” She tilts her gaze down to her chest. “Don’t listen. You are small but perfectly
formed.”
“Are you talking to your tits? You say I’m weird.”
She glares back up at me. “Says the guy who named his cock.”
“That’s normal. All guy’s name their cock.” I shrug. True story. Even if they don’t admit it, in his
mind, every guy has a name for his cock. I’d also hedge that ninety percent of them are called Zeus.
“I will never understand the obsession men have with their man veg.” She mumbles. The woman
doing my nails nods in agreement. This is like gang warfare around here. There’s so much oestrogen
in the room, my dick wants to jump off and run out the door.
“It can’t be explained. It’s just…awesome.”

As promised, I do stop into a strip bar on the way back.

I can tell she doesn’t want to go in, but she says nothing.
I place my hand on the small of her back, guiding her through the club, and up to the bar. Every
guy in the place turns to look at her. She doesn’t exactly fit in here, with her tight pencil skirt and
fitted blazer. Molly screams class from a mile away. She’s not the type of girl who comes to a strip
club, and she’s definitely not the type of girl you bring to a strip club, but well, I have a point to make.
Robby is working the bar tonight, and he nods at me as soon as we approach. “Usual?” He asks.
“Please, and a red wine for the lady.” I add.
Robby looks at Molly, who is busy trying to look at anything but the naked women working the
floor. He smiles and shakes his head before turning away to fetch the drinks.
“You actually have a usual? You do realise that you’re like some creepy, pervy old man right?”
I laugh. “I have a usual because I own the place.”
She stills and then rolls her eyes. “I should have known you would own a strip joint. It’s so…
you.”
“Hey Hugo.” One of the girls, Amalie sidles up to me. She wraps her manicured fingers around
my arm, pressing her bare tits against my side.
“Hey Am.” I smile at her. Despite her flirtatious ways, Am actually likes girls. She’s normally
friendly with me, but not this friendly. Three guesses as to what she’s after.
“Who’s your friend?” Straight in, no messing.
“Am.” I warn.
She giggles. “I’m only asking. Don’t get your knickers in a twist.”
I sigh. “Amelie, Molly. Molly, Amelie.”
Molly looks at Amelie with wide eyes. She focuses on her face, and to her credit, she doesn’t
look away. “Hi. Nice to meet you.” She says quietly.
Amelie’s smile spreads across her face. “Oh, you are cute.” She purrs at Molly. She turns to face
me again, raising an eyebrow. “A little too good for you.”
Molly smiles. “I like her. She obviously knows you’re an arsehole. Glad to see some women see
straight through your shit.”
 Amelie laughs. “Sweetness, I thought we were friends. You wound me.”
“Your ego maybe.” Her lips twitch.
Amelie turns her back slightly to Molly, and bends to whisper in my ear. “You know how badly
you wanted to fuck me last week?”
I laugh. “Don’t take it personally Am. You know I just needed to get my dick wet, and well…” I
flick my eyes to her tits, which are without a doubt her sales pitch. “You do have an awesome rack.” I
hold my hands up. “I’m a tit man. What can I say?”
She laughs lightly. “Well, I’ll let you fuck me, as long as I get to fuck her at the same time.” I groan
as my cock goes rock fucking solid. “I’m sure you’d like that.” She purrs.
“She’s just a friend. We’re not like that.” I say through gritted teeth. Oh, god, how I wish we were
like that right now.
“You don’t have female friends, Hugo. You have women you fuck. That’s it. Think about it at
least.” She says quietly before moving past me and walking away.
“Oh, believe me, I am thinking about it.” I mumble under my breath.
“What was that about?” Molly asks as she sips her wine. She looks ridiculous, drinking wine,
with her legs crossed elegantly, whilst perched on a bar stool, surrounded by dirty minded men and
half naked women. It makes me smile.
“Amelie wants to fuck you.” I tell her.
She coughs and puts her wineglass back on the bar. She holds her hand to her chest as she
proceeds to cough and choke. “What?!” She finally croaks.
I sigh. “Amelie likes girls. She wants me to get you to have a threesome.”
“Huh.”
“What does huh mean?” I lift the bottle of Corona to my lips and take a long pull.
She composes her features and shrugs one shoulder delicately. “Well, I mean, she’s hot.”
Now it’s my turn to choke. I practically spit the beer back out. “I’m sorry, like you would
consider it?”
She wrinkles her nose up. “No, of course not.”
“Didn’t think so.”
“I wouldn’t want a threesome, but you know I never dabbled in the girl thing. Like I said, she is
hot.” Hell fucking no, she did not.
“You are so full of shit.” I dare her with a smile.
“What? You don’t think that I would do it.”
I laugh. “You’re the good girl Molly. No way are you going to fuck a stripper.”
She narrows her eyes, and glances over her shoulder toward Amalie. A wicked smile that I know
all too well pulls at her lips.
“Did you want me, Molly?” Amalie appears next to me, practically fucking Molly’s name with
her tongue.
Molly nods. “I do.”
Amalie’s eyebrows creep up in response. I narrow my eyes at Molly, she flashes me a smug
smile, before crooking her finger at Amelie. Am smiles and takes the few steps to Molly, swaying her
hips as she goes. Molly wraps her hand around Amelie’s neck, pulling her down, so she can whisper
in her ear. Amelie laughs and then shrugs.
Next thing I know, they’re kissing, like, full on kissing. There’s tongue, and Amelie is nipping at
Molly’s bottom lip. There’s a loud chorus of catcalls. “Take her out the back and fuck her.” Robby
shouts across the bar.
 Amelie’s hand moves to Molly’s hair, gripping it, and angling her head back. Her bare tits are
rubbing up against Molly’s chest. Ah, shit. This is so fucking hot. My cock is throbbing. If I don’t stop
this shit soon, I might just explode in my pants like a fucking teenager. A quick glance at some of the
guys sitting around, and I can tell they’re feeling the same way.
I bite my lip and groan as I adjust my cock. Nope. This is no fun when I’m not involved.
I stand up and grab Amelie’s arm, pulling her away from Molly. “Enough.” I snap. She turns on
me, her expression fierce with desire. Molly might be playing, but Amelie is not a girl to get wrapped
up with. “Have fun?” I ask.
“Not nearly enough.” Her voice is husky and sensual.
I look at Molly who is slightly flushed, her lips a beautiful rosy colour. “We’re leaving.” I say
quickly.
I push Am back, and grab Molly’s elbow, pulling her off her stool and leading her toward the
door. I can hear Amelie laughing behind me. “Lovely meeting you Molly.” She says.
Molly twists to look over her shoulder and throws her a small wave. I drag her past the tables of
guys, and the semi-naked girls, who I now don’t trust her not to jump. Once outside she starts
laughing. Hard. She breaks free of my grip and bends over wither hands on her knees. The security
guy gives her a funny look, but otherwise ignores us.
“What is up with you? Are you like, suffering a mental illness or something?”
“Your face!” She says as she tries to catch her breath.
“Oh, I’m sorry, you mean the ‘my balls just turned blue, shrivelled up and dropped off’ face? Or
the ‘what the fuck just happened to my very straight, very good friend’ face?”
“Yes.” She gasps, nodding as she leans over and grips her knees. “Oh, shit. Too funny.”
She follows me to the car, laughing all the way. I open the drivers door and get in. Molly slides
into the passenger seat. “Well played Sweetness. I didn’t know you had it in you…now I know you
do…” I wiggle my eyebrows at her and smile.
She snorts. “Not bloody likely.”
“Oh come now. If you’re so sex deprived that you’re thinking of renouncing the cock…well, I’m
willing to do my service for mankind.” I smile at the scowl on her face.
“Fuck you. I am not cock deprived.”
“Really, because that back there was a starving woman. Seriously? You, kissing a female stripper.
Let’s just think about that for a second shall we.”
She tilts her head back against the seat and takes a deep breath. “Okay, I admit, that was out of
character.” She admits. “Is it wrong that I found it kind of hot though?” She asks shyly.
I groan. “Stop talking.” I adjust my cock again, and start the car, pulling away.

It’s still only nine by the time we leave the strip club, thanks to Molly’s little display. She
apparently wants to see Gary, so I take her to the flat.
I hand her a bottle of water, as she sits cross legged on the sofa. Gary is sprawled on his back
across her lap, and she’s patting his budda belly. He loves it.
“Do you think Alex is gay?” She asks out of nowhere.
I flick my eyes over her body. It would be a pretty fucking plausible explanation as to why he’s
not hitting that. I shrug. “I’m no expert, but he looks pretty straight to me.” A small frown line mars
her face. “I mean if he were gay he would have definitely had a crack at me.” I wink at her.
Her lips twitch. “Ugh. I just…I don’t know what to do. I’ve never had this problem.”
I pop the top off my beer and sit down on the other end of the sofa, propping my feet on the coffee
table. “Well, have you made it…clear.” I wave a hand around, looking for the right word.
“Clear?”
“Yeah, you know. Have you given him the green light, rolled up the blinds.” Nothing. “Opened the
fucking door.” I spread my legs.
“Oh, no!” She frowns again. “You’d make a shit girl.”
I point at her. “See, that’s where you’re wrong. I’d make a slutty girl, and take it from a guy, slutty
girls are the best.”
She shakes her head. “Okay, so what you are saying is that I need to make it clear, that what…I
want him to bang ten bales of shit out of me.”
I laugh. “Yep. Please tell him, just like that, in those exact words.”
“Hugo!” She whines, her voice laced with amusement. “This is supposed to be serious, possibly
the only serious conversation we will ever have, because it’s about sex. And if there’s one thing you
know, it’s sex.”
I bob my head in acknowledgement. “I do know sex.”
“So?”
I sigh. “Okay. Seduce me.”
“What?!”
“Seduce. Me. Imagine you want to get me into bed, and I’m not…well me.”
She stares down at Gary for a second. “I don’t know how.” She says sheepishly. “I’ve never had
to seduce anyone, they’ve just…you know.” She admits.
“Just get your tits out.” I say, trying not to laugh.
She cocks an eyebrow. “Really Hugo?”
Now I do laugh. “Yeah, you’re right. You don’t have any tits to get out.”
She huffs and crosses her arms over her chest. “You done? I need help, not abuse you arse.”
“Okay, so think sexy. Act like you own me.” I tell her. “Come on, get up.” She glances at me
nervously, and moves Gaz, propping him on a cushion in replacement of her lap. He doesn’t look
happy about the substitute.
She stands and smooth’s down her skirt. She bites her bottom lip, and fidgets. “No. Stop. Look at
me.” She does, her baby blue eyes flicking to mine. “Remember, you own me. Don’t shy away.”
Molly is a rare creature. Classy, possibly even leaning toward demure on the outside, a people
pleaser I guess, but there’s another side to her. The side that tells me to go fuck myself, and can put an
unreasonable Lilly back in her box. Then there’s this secret corner of her personality that only comes
out under duress, the sexy side of her that loves to be called a dirty whore, and held down whilst
she’s fucked from behind. That side is fucking irresistible, and it totally blind sided me. Molly can be
seductive and flirtatious, and she can be downright dirty, but she’s a good girl through and through,
until you get her naked. Then she’s an animal, and the animal in me is drawn to her sordid corruption
like a magnet. She is the perfect fucking woman.
I see her for what she is, but the doctor…well, he’s only seeing the demure good girl. If he saw
what I see, he wouldn’t be trying to be respectful. He’d give her what she wants.
I watch her closely as she takes a step towards me. I stand and close the distance between us,
wrapping my hand around the back of her neck and pulling her up against my chest. Her breath hitches
as her fingers grip my biceps through my shirt. Her eyes darken as lust starts to swirl through them. I
almost groan. I never could resist that look in her eyes.
“Own me.” I whisper roughly against her cheek. Then I force myself to release her and sit back
down.
 She narrows her eyes at me, and flicks her hair over one shoulder. She closes the distance to me
again, but her steps are more lithe, more sexual this time. Her eyes are smouldering with intent, and it
makes my cock leap to attention. She moves her fingers to her shirt, undoing another button, very
slowly, drawing my eyes down her body.
She comes to a stop in front of me and bends over, until her face is close to mine. “You want me
to own you Hugo?” She whispers. I smile, and nod once, wordlessly. She traces her fingers over my
neck, her touch feather light. My skin breaks out in goose bumps. I inhale the scent of her perfume, as
she invades every single one of my senses.
She ducks her head to my neck, and I can feel her hot breath caressing my skin. My body tightens
like a coiled spring. Her lips are so close, and yet she never actually touches me with them.
“Do you feel owned yet?” She whispers, her lips hovering over mine.
“I’ll never be owned.” I grate back at her. “But, I really want to fuck you, if it’s any consolation.”
She pulls back and smirks. “Wow, the whore who will fuck anything, wants to fuck me. High
praise Hugo.” She takes a step away from me, but she’s visibly shaking. “The difference between
getting you to want to have sex with me, and getting Alex to want to have sex with me, is like the
difference between a school sports day and the Olympics.”
“Are you saying I’m easy?” I feign offense. Shit, that was a bad idea. My cock is like a fucking
baseball bat now, and the urge to fuck Molly is even stronger than normal.
“I’m saying you’re as easy as it gets.” She replies.
“Trust me, you do that, and he turns you down, then yes, he’s gay.” Definitely fucking gay. God this
is fucked up, sending her off to fuck someone else when I really wish it was me.
“I don’t know if I can do that with him though.” She whines. “It’s different with you.” She adds.
“He has a cock, does he not?”
She rolls her eyes. “One would assume so.”
“So, think of him as the same as me, because at the end of the day, it’s his cock, you’re appealing
to, and cocks just want one thing, a pussy to spend the night in.” She grimaces and I laugh as I flash
her a wink. “Try it, and if it fails, then I’ll fuck you.”
She huffs out a breath. “Great.” We both know she loves my cock, even if she’s forgotten just how
much.
 CHAPTER SIX
MOLLY

After my strange evening with Hugo last night, I’m not sure I’m feeling any better about the Alex
situation. I find it easy to flirt with Hugo. He takes it and gives it back to me twice as bad. There is
absolutely no risk of coming across as slutty or overtly sexual with Hugo. It’s impossible. The dirtier
I am, the more he wants. Alex though, Alex is a different ball game.
I’ve never been in this situation. I’ve always been actively pursued by guys who really would
quite like to get in my pants. If I’ve dated a guy, then there’s never been much of an issue moving from
dating to sex. If I’m fucking a guy, then it’s a null and void point. You’re both there for a reason.
Maybe that’s why all this comes so easy with Hugo. We started as sex before we were anything else.
Alex’s lack of interest is making me doubt myself. We’ve been dating for over six weeks.
Granted, I haven’t really seen him more than once a week due to his weird working hours. I think I
like him, but honestly, who knows until you’ve actually slept together? I don’t care what anyone says,
sex is a huge factor in whether you move forwards or not. You have to be sexually compatible, as
well as emotionally compatible. He could be the nicest guy in the world, but if there’s no spark, then
you might as well just be friends. Sex is the difference, and without good sex, I just don’t think true
love is possible. That may sound cheesy, but I really do believe that.
I stare at my phone screen with the image of Lilly’s face on it. I press the green button. Lilly is the
last person I should take advice from. I already know what she’s going to say, but I just need a little
moral support, and to hear my best friends voice.
“Hey babe.” She answers brightly.
“Hey. What are you up to?”
“Oh, you know. Working.” She laughs. “No, I’m really not. Theo is at the office still and I’m
bored shitless. Tell me your life is infinitely more interesting than mine right now.”
“You have no idea.” I mumble.
“Spill bitch!” She shrieks.
“Ow, Lills. Ear drums.”
“Oh shush. Tell me all.”
“I took Hugo to get his nails done yesterday, so he took me to a strip bar, and I kissed a stripper. I
think that sums it up.” I tell her.
“What?!” She laughs. “You kissed a stripper?”
“Uh-huh.” I fiddle with my hair, looking for split ends as I wedge the phone between my shoulder
and my ear.
“Was she hot?”
“Yeah, I mean, in a stripper kind of way. Her name was Amelie.”
“Please tell me Hugo’s disgusting penis hasn’t turned you lesbian.” I can hear the smile in her
voice.
“No. She apparently is though. She propositioned him with a threesome, and I said no obviously.
He assumed it was because of the girl thing, so I kissed her to wind him up.” I chuckle. “You should
have seen his face. He couldn’t get me out of there quick enough.”
She snorts. “I’m surprised he didn’t just take a seat and watch.”
“Oh, he did for a while, and then he realised that he’d been shunned and he was about to come in
his pants, so we left.” I explain.
“God, he’s such a dog.” She mutters.
“Yup.”
“What are you up to tonight?” She asks.
“Well…I’m hopefully getting laid.” I say with a smile.
“Thank the fucking lord. I’m surprised you haven’t sealed over yet.” She mumbles. “Who with,
Alex or Hugo?”
“Alex!” I shout. “I would not fuck Hugo, no matter how desperate.”
“Well, you did before. Lots. It’s a reasonable question.” She defends.
“Alex. Hopefully.”
“Are you sure he’s not gay?” She asks.
“I know, right? I’m starting to wonder. Maybe he just doesn’t fancy me. I guess I’ll find out soon
enough one way or the other.”
“Of course he fancies you, don’t be fucking ridiculous. You going on the offensive?”
“Yeah. Hugo seems to think that even Alex is ruled by his cock. I beg to differ.” I say quietly.
“Hold up, since when are you taking dating advice from Hugo…or hanging out with him, for that
matter?” She asks suspiciously.
“He rocked up outside my work yesterday. He wanted to hang out. I think he misses Theo.”
“We’ve only been gone three days!” She exclaims.
“Uh, this is Hugo we’re talking about. You know, the man with the attention span of a gnat and the
mind of a sixteen year old boy with a constant erection.”
She laughs. “Yet, you are befriending him, and going to strip bars…and kissing girls.” She huffs.
“You’ve changed. You never go girl kissing with me.” She grumbles.
My lips stretch into a wide grin at my neurotic best friend. “True, but there was that time that you
assaulted me…”
“That was not me, that was the absinthe.” She snaps.
I laugh. “If you say so. Anyway, Hugo is actually being quite helpful with the Alex thing. He said I
have to treat him like I own him.”
“Huh, well, he’s right. You’ve never had a problem with confidence, Mole. Why do you suddenly
have a problem now?”
I shrug, even though she can’t see me. “I don’t know. He’s intimidating I guess.”
She snorts loudly. “Alex? Intimidating? Are we talking about the same guy here?”
“Not like that. He’s just so…put together you know? I don’t want him to think I’m just some cheap
slut. And now it’s been a while, and it’s become a thing.”
“Ah, fuck that. You give it to him all guns blazing, and if he’s not interested, then it’s his loss.
What kind of guy turns down a girl like you? A gay one, that’s what. Do us a favour though and pass
him onto George when you’re done. He has the serious hots for the doc.” She cackles.
“You’re not supposed to be plotting my imminent failure. You’re supposed to tell me I can’t
possibly fail.” I say dryly.
“Yeah, yeah, you go girl and all that fluffy shit. Show him how a real woman handles herself.
Now trot along. Remember, push up bra, short skirt and…”
“Hooker lipstick, yes I know.” I laugh.
“Good, now knock him dead, babe. Love you!”
“You too. Bye.” I press the red button and hang up the call.
 I decide to throw caution to the wind and go in for the kill where Alex is concerned. He’s
working until ten tonight, but I don’t care, I’m going over there. I’m all for some spontaneity. I check
my watch. It’s ten now. I run some gloss over my lips and press them together.
I’m wearing a black lace dress, which has a loose flirty skirt. The neckline is high, but wide
exposing my collar bone. My hair is loose, and I’ve managed to get a few loose curls to stay in place
amongst the fine strands. I pull on a pair of stockings and clip them to my garter belt. Some girls don’t
like to leave the house without make-up, I don’t like to leave without stockings, or at least not if I
have a dress on. It’s my thing.
I pull on my cropped leather jacket, and slip on my Louboutins. With one last glance in the mirror,
I steel myself and try and find the inner slut. I know she’s in there somewhere, although honestly I
think she’s been in hiding since Hugo. He unleashes it like only he can, and now…now I’m scared to
death of being that girl. The trashy and clearly disposable girl that’s only good for one thing. I thought
that Hugo made me feel alive, and in many ways he does, but in the end he just made me feel dirty and
soiled.
I pick up the keys to Lilly’s car, which are on the breakfast bar. She asked me to ‘look after’ her
baby while she’s away. She is far too attached to that car, but then I probably would be if I were her.
Theo bought her a cherry red Maserati. It goes like shit off a stick and makes Lilly smile every time
she gets in it. He always says it was worth buying just to see that smile on her face. Swoon!
I almost walk straight into George as I’m leaving.
“Sorry babes.” He says as he wrestles with armfuls of shopping bags. I take a couple of bags and
place them on the floor next to the door. “Thanks.” He huffs. “Oh, you look nice.” He grins. “Going
somewhere special?”
“Alex’s.”
He cocks an eyebrow. “About time girl. I was starting to worry you might be getting cobwebs
down there.”
I hold my hands up. “You and Lilly have an unhealthy obsession with my vagina.”
He laughs. “Hey, I’m just looking out for you. Cobwebs aren’t healthy my love.” He winks and
smiles. “Have fun!” He sings as he heads towards the kitchen.
I pull up outside Alex’s flat and start chewing on my thumb nail. My stomach is churning. Here
goes nothing. I jump out of the car, not allowing myself to hesitate. If I over think this, it will go to
shit.
I lock the car and cross the road to his building. The front door is unlocked, so I push it open and
take the short flight of stairs to the first floor flat.
When I reach his door, I take a steadying breath and knock. The silence is agonising as I wait.
Eventually I hear footsteps and then a chain sliding across. The door opens just a fraction as Alex
peers out.
“Molly?” His eyebrows creep up.
I manage to muster a small smile. “Hey. Surprise.” Surprise? Really?
“Uh, come in.” He frowns and pulls the door wider. It’s then that I see he’s shirtless. He’s all
broad shoulders and slabs of muscle. He’s not ripped, just huge, everywhere. His skin is smooth and
tanned. A pair of trackies cling to his hips. Guidelines cut across his hips, dropping below his
waistband. My mouth goes dry. I can’t think. My mind is short circuiting. Every time I try to form
words, all I get is him, naked and sex. The small hallway suddenly feels like it’s pressing in on me as
my blood seems to boil in my veins. I’m on fire, and a deep throb has started between my legs. I try to
press my thighs together.
 “Are you okay?” He asks with genuine concern.
I glance up at his face. His golden eyes search mine, no doubt trying to find a plausible
explanation for my late night appearance. I decide to throw caution to the wind, and allow myself to
give in to my desires. I want him. I want him so badly. I close the distance between us in two quick
steps, and throw myself against him. My lips crash into his without apology. His hands fly to my
waist. He doesn’t respond at first. I can feel his hesitation. He wants an explanation, something
rational. There is none. This isn’t rational. I just want him. I need to feel him, to feel alive. He steps
back until his back is against the front door, taking my body with him. My fingers wind into his hair,
and pull at the roots. I can’t control my own body. I’m pure instinct, ravaged by lust. I nip at his
bottom lip and he finally comes to life beneath my hands. His lips part, as his hands move to my hips,
pulling my body flush to his massive frame. In the blink of an eye everything changes. His hands are
no longer restraining, or calming, they’re demanding. His tongue lashes against mine, feeding my
frenzy. One of his hands comes up and cups my cheek possessively. He pulls back slightly, his heavy
breathes touching my lips.
His eyes flick from my eyes to my lips and back again. I don’t give him a chance to think. I run my
hands over his chest, and down over his flat stomach. His eyes burn a brilliant gold as his jaw
clenches and releases.
“Molly.” He whispers against my lips.
“Shh. Don’t talk.” I tell him.
With a small groan his lips take mine again. His hands work over my shoulders, pushing my jacket
down my arms. I hear the soft thud as it hits the floor. He runs his hands over my waist and down to
my thighs, and lifts me, until my legs part around his hips easily. I cup his face and kiss him fiercely
as he walks me through his small flat. He bends at the waist, lowering me until I feel the brush of
cotton sheets against my bare arms. His bed. It smells of him, and I could breathe in that scent all day.
He leans over me, his weight hovering above me. My thighs part easily around his big body and
my hips roll against him of their own violation. God, I’m desperate for him.
“Molly.” His breath touches my lips. “I want to take my time with you.” He sounds husky, his
voice strained.
I nod, because honestly, I can’t talk.
His touch is gentle as he rolls me onto my front. I lean up on my elbows. He straddles me, placing
a knee on either side of my hips. He’s careful, yet his sheer size makes him dominating. I’m not into
the submissive thing at all, but I love a man who can naturally call the shots.
He gathers my hair, and lays it over my left shoulder. I feel his hot breath on my neck just before
his lips brush across the sensitive skin there. My body breaks out in goose bumps. I hear the sound of
him slowly lowering the zip of my dress. His fingers caress the bare skin of my back, before pushing
the material off my shoulders and down my arms. I push up onto my palms, allowing the material to
slide all the way down, until I can remove it completely. The dress is now pooled at my waist, in a
wave of black lace. I glance at him over my right shoulder, a small smile pulling at my lips.
He leans forwards and skims his lips across my bare shoulder, grazing the skin intermittently with
his teeth. I gasp, and tremble under his touch. He grips my chin, wrenching my head around to him,
and slamming his lips over mine. I moan into his mouth, and wrap my hand around his restraining
forearm, dragging my nails over his skin. My back is now bowed up off the bed, and I can feel his
hard cock pressed against my arse. I push back against him, and he groans against my lips.
He wrenches my lips away. “Are you sure you want this Molly?” Uh, hell yes. I nod as best I can,
with his fingers gripping my jaw.
 He widens his stance and rolls me over, without releasing my face. Holy shit, that’s a good view.
Alex is looming over me, the muscles in his chest and shoulders all tense. He pulls away from me and
stands up, still hovering over me. He grabs the material of my dress which is bunched around my
hips, and drags it down my legs, brushing every inch of over sensitised skin. His eyes darken when he
takes in my stockings and garter belt. If there’s one thing I love, it’s sexy underwear, for this exact
reason. There’s nothing quite like that look of appreciation in a mans eye, when he undresses you and
realises what’s underneath. It’s like unwrapping the best kind of present.
He bites down on his bottom lip and closes his eyes. “You’re beautiful.” He says in a hoarse
voice.
I feel a slight blush creep onto my face at his words. “Come here.” I crook a finger at him, and he
leans forward to crawl over me. “No.” I stop him. “Take off your clothes first.”
He flashes me a sexy smile and slides his thumbs into the waist band of his trackies. Here it
comes, the big reveal. The material lowers, and I try not to stare at his crotch like a total pervert. His
erection springs free, and holy shit. Let’s just say that his cock matches the rest of him. He’s big and
thick, and erect. His cock stands proud, like some kind of weapon of mass destruction.
A low chuckle rumbles up his throat. God, I must be gawking at him like a rabbit in headlights.
He drops to his knees on the bed, and leans forward to press feather light kisses on my stomach.
His fingers expertly manage to unfasten my garter straps, a difficult feat for most men. Must be those
surgeons fingers. His fingers flutter across the lace of my knickers, brushing against my clit through
the fabric. I bite my lip to stop the moan that threatens to break past my lips. I’m over-heating and
squirming on the bed before he’s even got in my knickers. I can’t work out whether I’m really sex
deprived, or he’s just that good.
Finally, he pushes the material at my crotch aside, and slowly pushes one finger inside me. I’m
waiting for him to make a comment about how inappropriately wet I am, but he doesn’t. He just works
those magic fingers inside of me, until I’m practically screaming at him to fuck me. I press the back of
my hand against my mouth, trying to stem the stream of moans. He pulls my hand away and replaces it
with his lips, plunging two fingers into me hard, and rubbing his thumb over my clit. I moan, long and
low into his mouth. Holy shit! He smiles against my lips and nips at my bottom lip.
Just when I think I can take no more, he yanks my knickers down my legs, leaving them hanging
from one ankle.
He leans across and grabs something from the bedside table. I hear the rip of foil, before he rolls
the condom over his cock. Shit, I didn’t even think about that. Embarrassing.
He positions himself between my thighs, and I take a deep breath. Okay, he’s a monster, and this is
going to hurt.
“Molly, look at me.” He whispers.
I pull my eyes to his, and lose myself in the golden caramel of his irises. He nudges against my
entrance gently, as he presses a small kiss on the tip of my nose.
He pushes inside me and I gasp. He withdraws and then pushes forward again. His eyes never
leave mine as he repeats his advance and retreat. He’s stretching me beyond what I thought was
possible. He clenches his jaw hard, as a frown line appears between his eyebrows. “God, you’re so
tight.” He bites out.
I angle my body, rolling my hips up as he slides in the last inch, and hits home. “Shit.” I hiss as my
body hits the very limit of its capabilities. It’s painful, but its good. I’m so full of him, so consumed
by him. His enormous body dominates every inch of my smaller one. I feel utterly possessed by him.
I look up at him. His jaw is clenched so hard, a muscle is ticking in his cheek. The muscles in his
neck stand out in thick roped cords. My chest suddenly feels very small as I fight to catch my breath.
He touches his forehead to mine, still not moving.
“Okay?” He asks, his voice strained.
“Yeah.” I barely recognise my own voice.
He pulls back and pushes forward again. I’m on the edge, every nerve ending begging for release.
The strain on his face doesn’t leave. Hell, it almost looks painful. After a few thrusts, my body starts
to release it’s vice hold on him. He breathes deeply, but keeps his movements slow and measured.
I run my hands down his back, until I’m gripping his arse in both hands. I squeeze, urging him on.
He doesn’t move, but instead rolls to his back, dragging me on top of him. He keeps a hold of my
hips, allowing me to hover on his cock, but not sink down on it. Once I’m positioned above him he
releases his hands, and grips my thighs, just above the knees.
I slide down his length, until his taught stomach is brushing against my clit, and then I roll my hips
forward, rubbing my clit along his skin, whilst absorbing the full force of his cock. I moan
shamelessly as I swing my hips faster, riding him. His hands fist in the duvet as he throws his head
back. He bucks upward underneath me, and I throw my hands out onto his chest to steady myself. The
rhythm gets faster and faster, until I’m shaking and screaming his name.
I clench around him as an orgasm grips me, hurtling me into oblivion. I feel his fingers digging
into my hips hard as he pounds upwards into me. “Shit!” He roars, as his thrusts stiffen.
Then he goes limp, his big body falling back on the bed in a heap. I fall forward, and rest my head
in the crook of his neck. His breathing is as ragged as my own, his chest rising and falling heavily.
Warm hands cover the skin of my bare back, and slide up into my hair.
Neither of us says anything. There is nothing to say.
 CHAPTER SEVEN
HUGO
Sex therapy round three. I never saw Stacey after that first time. I kind of figured that the sex
therapy wasn’t really working for her. In fact, I’d say she was having about a much success as I am,
which incidentally is a lot. If there is one sure way to pick up a chick, it’s at sex therapy. I mean,
come on, two sex addicts together. That’s like putting two junkies in a room with a bag of coke and
telling them not to take it. Except we have to make our own coke, but hey, that’s the best part.
I’m currently getting the ‘look’ from Claire. Claire is a sex addict who masturbates up to five
times a day. My kind of girl. She’s what I’d call curvy, okay so she’s a big girl, but I’m an equal
opportunity kind of guy. I don’t discriminate.
“Hugo, how do you feel you are progressing?” The therapist whose name I still can’t fucking
remember says to me. He rarely speaks to me. I’m pretty sure he allows me in here because he has to.
That’s fine by me. I come in, miss out on all the Kumbaya shit, and pick up.
I shrug and answer him. “Fine.” I don’t have a fucking problem, so there’s nothing to progress on.
“I think that you use sex as an emotional outlet. You don’t openly express your emotions any other
way. You simply laugh it off, or evade the issue.”
“Oh, it’s an outlet alright, but there are shit all emotions involved, you can trust me on that.” I
laugh.
He sighs and moves on. Something tells me he might sign me off as ‘cured’ as soon as the
opportunity arises.

Claire happens to live five minutes from the shrink. I offer to bend her over last weeks shelving
unit, but apparently she’s not that kind of girl. Who knew that a sex addict would have morals? I
suppose that a girl who’s willing to pick up at sex therapy has to keep a few to herself.
She lets me into the small Soho apartment, but I don’t look around. I’m horny as fuck. I haven’t
had sex for two days. Two days! My balls are getting twitchy, and that’s never cool. I’m about to
make my move, when she does it first. She shoves me back the wall hard and starts frantically
clawing at my belt
“Straight to the point. I like it.” I say with a smile.
She bites her lip as she yanks my jeans open and shoves them and my boxers down my hips. My
cock springs free, eager and willing as always.
She wastes no time, and drops to her knees in front of me, licking my cock like it’s her favourite
flavoured lolly. Ah, fuck. One hand cups my balls, as she practically fucking swallows my cock. I
look down, and her lips are touching my pubes. Holy fucking shit, she just deep throated my entire
cock without even gagging. I think I’m in love.
She works me hard, bobbing her head back and forth as her hand massages my balls. I wrap my
hand in her hair and thrust forward slightly. She moans, and the vibration of her tongue has me
groaning through gritted teeth.
She sucks hard as she pulls up, and tingles shoot down my spine. I’m so fucking close to coming,
and then she stops, releasing my cock with a little pop.
“What the fuck?” I growl.
She stands up, pointing at me. “I haven’t been laid in six months. If you think I’m letting you blow
your load in my mouth, rather than my pussy, you are sadly mistaken.”
 “Six months! Fuck, I guess now I know why you have to bash one out five times a day.” I mumble.
“You do realise this is just sex though, right?” I have to check. Ward off the psycho bitches.
She narrows her eyes. “You’re a sex addict. Of course it’s just sex.” She points out the obvious.
Had to check.
“Okay, good point.” I concede.
“Now shut up. I want you to ruin me.” She snarls. Oh, she has no fucking idea what I’m capable
of. Hell, she won’t need sex for the next six years after I’m done with her.
“Sweetheart, I’m about to fuel every orgasm you will ever have, for years to come.”
She smiles, and presses her lips against mine. This isn’t romantic, but fuck me, she’s keen. She
thrusts her tongue into my mouth, and bites my bottom lip. I’m pretty sure I’m bleeding by the time
she’s done with me.
Needless to say, Claire makes me fuck her on pretty much every available surface in that flat, and
then she fucks me. She rides me like she’s trying to win the Gold Cup. Her tits bounce up and down
with every thrust, as she moves over me. She comes, screaming like a wild animal. Her pussy
clenches around my cock, and just when I’m about to come, she stops. Oh fuck no.
I push her down on the bed and flip her over, pulling that big round arse up in the air. I dive right
back in, and her pussy spasms around my cock.
“Yes!” She screams, as I drill into her mercilessly, chasing down my orgasm, until my balls are
throbbing, and my cock feels like it’s on fire.
Everything in me tightens, before exploding back out. “Oh fuck!” I ride out the orgasm until there’s
nothing left, and promptly pass out on the bed. Who would have fucking thought it? I pay ten grand a
night for hookers, and yet the chubby girl who hasn’t been laid in six months just made me come
harder than any of them. Fuck going to sex therapy, I’m going to start hanging around outside Weight
Watchers.

I have to be at Allure tonight. I promised my friend Danny VIP entry for his birthday. He’s a pro
footballer; he’s actually signed to Chelsea for forty million. Basically, I said I’d be around. I walk
into the club and it’s heaving, which is always good.
I designed Allure from the ground up, and it’s one of the most popular night clubs in London now.
Everything in here is white, with blue up-lighting. The bar is in a circle in the middle of the room, and
the top is one solid piece of marble that cost over fifty grand. Cylindrical cages sit on opposite sides
of the bar, and in every corner of the room. I pay the best dancers to dance in them, and believe me,
they are worth every fucking penny. I have strippers who, sliding down a pole in a g-string aren’t as
hot as these girls, and they aren’t even putting anything on show. Well, no tits or arse anyway. I don’t
put much weight in achievements. I’ve set up numerous businesses over the years, but this club is my
favourite, and the one I invest most of my time in. It has booze and women though, so I can’t exactly
claim that my interest in being here is entirely business.
It takes me forever to get across the room. People continuously stop me and women rub up against
me. I climb the stairs to the VIP section, which is full to capacity. Danny apparently brought the entire
team with him. The VIP section is a massive glass balconied area that runs the length of the entire
club, and looks out over the dance floor. It’s more of a viewing gallery if I’m honest, best placed to
watch potential conquests make it on the dance floor.
“Hugo!” Danny calls out in his scouse accent. One of my girls is sprawled across his lap giggling.
I don’t run whores, and Allure isn’t a strip bar, but lets just say that the girls are hand-picked to work
the VIP section. The girls up here know that if they play nice, then they are extremely likely to get
some hefty tips. Danny is a typical footballer, brought up in a middle class family, and suddenly
loaded. Needless to say, he pisses money up a wall worse than I do.
“Danny.” He shifts the girl off his lap, Lara I think it is, and stands up. He hugs me, slapping my
back. “How are you, dude?”
He smiles wide. “I’m drunk.”
I laugh. “Best way to be.”
I signal one of the girls over from the bar. She’s wearing the required uniform of a white dress,
but this one is so short and tight I have to wonder how she got in it. My eyes rake over her petite
frame, and a smile pulls at my lips.
“Are you new?” I ask, raising my voice over the music.
She smiles boldly. “I’m Beth.”
“Beth.” I roll the name over my tongue. “I’m Hugo. I..”
“Oh, I know who you are.” She cuts me off.
I raise an eyebrow, and reassess her. She’s brunette, with olive skin and wide brown eyes. She
looks innocent, and damn, I have a thing for innocent. Don’t get me wrong, I love my girls filthy dirty,
but there is just something about corrupting an innocent one, because under all the good girl pretenses,
every girl is a dirty whore waiting to be unleashed on the world.
The night is young, but I lodge her away as a prospect for later.
I disappear into the office for a while. There’s rarely much for me to do around here, as my club
manager, Mel, is the bomb at running the place. It never hurts to check on things though. Complacency
in business is what loses money.
I have a quick scout through the profit and loss turnover, and the conversion rates before heading
back out into the VIP section which is right outside the office door.
I spot George at the bar dancing with one of the girls while he waits for his drink. Molly said they
might pop in tonight. It’s a shame he bats for the other team, because the chicks fucking love him.
Irony at it’s best I guess. I clap him on the shoulder when I reach the bar.
“Hey handsome.” He preens.
“How are you, dude?” I shout over the music as I signal Tanya, behind the bar, to get me a drink.
“I am fantastic, actually. I got a job today touring with Ariana Grande next year.” He bounces up
and down.
“Shit. That’s epic.” I smile. “You uh, want to hook me up while you’re there?”
He laughs. “I can’t be responsible for giving my new boss an STD now, can I?”
I flick him the bird. I still order the fucker a shot though. “So, you’re out celebrating?” I ask.
“Hell yeah.” He downs the tequila shot and slams the glass on the bar.
“On your own?”
He rolls his eyes. “You’re as subtle as a brick. It’s okay, I know Molly’s like your bestie or
whatever.” He grins. “She’s over there.” He gestures over his shoulder to Danny’s table.
I narrow my eyes and spot a blonde head sat amongst the entire football team. “The fuck?”
“Can’t blame a girl for trying.” He says in a sing song voice. “I would.”
I leave George to his dancing and move over to Danny’s table. He looks up when I approach.
“Hugo, this is…”
“Sweetness.” I cut him off, looking straight at Molly. Her face is flushed, and a smile pulls at her
full lips as she laughs at something one of the guys just said to her.
“Hugo! I hoped you’d be here.” She glances at Danny. “Free drinks.” He laughs as though she’s
fucking hilarious. I don’t miss the way his eyes trail over her bare legs in that tiny skirt. For some
reason it pisses me off. I clench my fists and try to keep a hold on my temper, a temper that very rarely
makes an appearance. Then Danny casually places his hand on her thigh. I haven’t felt anger like this
for years, and honestly I find it down right fucking disturbing that I would feel it now, just because a
guy is touching Molly. What is up with me? Maybe I just need to get laid….again. Too much
testosterone or some shit.
Molly takes one look at my face, and a small frown line appears between her eyebrows. She
stands up, and Danny stands with her, offering his hand to help her as she shimmies her way out of the
booth. Pretty much every single guy at that table tries to get a look up her skirt.
“Come on. You owe me a glass of Prosecco.” She says, looping her arm through mine and guiding
me back to the bar.
“I do?”
She rolls her eyes as she leans her hip against the side of the bar. “You do after that. What the hell
was that? I thought you were going to punch him.”
“Don’t be stupid.” I blow her off.
“You’re a shitty liar.” She says, tilting her head to the side.
I ignore her and order her glass of Prosecco. Why anyone would drink that shit I don’t know. It
tastes like sparkly cat’s piss to me.
“Right, well you pulled me away from Danny Lawson, so you’re going to dance with me.” She
declares.
“Danny Lawson is an arse, and I bought you a drink. What more do you want, woman?” I groan.
Jeez. “Where’s George? Get him to do your girly dancing with you.” I don’t mind dancing, but
dancing almost directly correlates to sex. Ergo, I do not want to dance and undoubtedly pop wood,
only to then have to tell my over eager dick that we are friend zoned. Poor fella can’t tell the
difference.
She smiles wryly. “George is dancing on your bar.”
“What?” I look down into the club and low and behold, there is George, dancing in one of the
cages. Every fucking time. I don’t know how he manages to convince the girls and security to let him
up there. I want hot girls dancing, not a guy. Although, he does draw a certain crowd. I can see the
hungry looks of the women near the bar. They like to pretend they’re refined, but when a guy can
move his hips like that, they suddenly forget themselves. It makes me laugh. I love it.
“Fine. One dance.” Secretly I love dancing with Molly. I love watching her body react in ways
that I don’t think even she is aware of, but like I said, it’s a twisted form of torture.

So, this started out relatively innocently, I promise. We’ve been dancing for an hour, and the
intermittent drink breaks have made Molly somewhat uninhibited shall we say, and when she’s loose
she’s dangerous. She’s smiling as her hips glide from side to side, and I watch as the material of her
dress inches up her thighs. Her arms snake around my neck and she flicks her hair to the side. She
mouths the words to the song happily as she moves, completely unaware of her appeal or her effect.
Every movement is so fucking sexy. My cock has been rock hard for the last half an hour, and it’s
hitting the pain zone right about now. Frustrated doesn’t even begin to cover this. I keep my hands by
my sides in a bid not to touch her. I only have so much restraint. I try to focus on a girl dancing behind
her, but I can’t. Her body is so close, her chest rubbing against mine. Fuck.
My fingers inch to her hip of their own violation, gripping the material of her dress and twisting
her around until her back is facing me. I grasp her waist, my fingers clenching into her as I try and talk
myself out of my next move. Nope. Can’t. I yank her back, and slam my body up against hers, feeling
the contour of her perfect arse against my crotch. I hear her hitched breath, and feel her stiffen as my
hard-on presses against her.
My lips almost brush her shoulder and across to her neck, making her tilt her head to the side. She
relaxes, and her movements slow, becoming more sensuous. Her arse slowly presses back and rolls
against my crotch on the beat of the music. Her back bows as her body writhes rhythmically.
Everything about her over-whelms me. I can smell the scent of her sweat mixed with her shampoo,
and that exact combination just reminds me of her, naked and sweaty, bent over whilst I pull her hair
and fuck her from behind like a dirty whore. On instinct, my hand creeps up her back and winds into
her hair, yanking her head further to the side. I’m so close to her, close enough to hear the strangled
groan that slips from her lips. I clench my teeth as my cock throbs painfully. My other hand moves up
the front of her body until my fingers are gripping her throat loosely. Her breathing speeds, and I can
feel her pulse racing against my fingers. Molly likes to play the good girl, but pull her hair and grab
her throat, and she’s a moaning mess.
I lean in and trace my lips over the exposed skin of her neck. She trembles in my arms and throws
her head back against my shoulder. I smile against her heated skin as I feel her submit to me. Her
hands reach back and grab my hips on either side, her fingers tightening against me in a bid to steady
herself. I inhale the scent of her, feel the heat of her body against mine, each ragged breath, every
hammering heartbeat. I become completely wrapped up in her. She pulls me in, she always does. She
makes me want to fuck her senseless, but she’s also the only woman for which I will fight my more
animalistic urges, because it’s her. Fuck, what the hell am I doing? No-one should have that much
hold over another person, and certainly not me. I’m immune to this shit.
She moves to the music, and grinds her arse against my cock. My hand tightens around her throat
in response, and she tilts her face toward me. I watch as she bites her full bottom lip. Her hand
reaches up and winds around the back of my neck, her nails dragging across my skin, making me hiss
out a strained breath.
I’m on the fucking edge, and she is seriously playing with fire. I’m not the chivalrous guy who
will turn her down because it’s the right thing to do. I’m the guy that will take her in a toilet cubicle if
I have to, and fuck her until she doesn’t even remember who her surgeon is.
 CHAPTER EIGHT
MOLLY
Oh god, I feel like I’m on fire. Hugo’s body presses against my back, and I can feel every hard
inch of him. A small voice in the back of my mind is screaming at me to stop being such a slut, but I
can’t. This is what he does to me. He turns me into a wanton slut. I should feel embarrassed. I should
step away, but I don’t and I can’t. We’re just dancing, it’s fine. The kind of dancing that has me
clenching my thighs together and in dire need of a change of underwear. I lightly drag my nails across
his neck, and over the short stubble of his jaw. He growls low in my ear and yanks me around to face
him, his hand tightens in my hair, and my scalp screams in protest even as my heart hammers against
my rib cage in excitement.
His eyes meet mine, and there’s this wild untameable fire in them that takes my breath away. His
hand cups my jaw, and my skin prickles under his touch, making my entire body break out in goose
bumps. There’s a pregnant pause, and it’s one of those moments where you know something is about
to happen.
His lips twitch in a small smirk, before he moves, slamming his lips over mine in a possessive
kiss. I kiss him back. I can’t help myself. My hands grab handfuls of his shirt, pulling him closer as
his hand moves from my face, and grabs my arse, pulling my hips flush to his hard cock. The way he
handles me is rough and unapologetic, and I love it. His tongue skims my bottom lip, and I moan into
his mouth. I don’t know what it is about him, but he sets my mind free of all inhibitions and my body
on fire. I want him, because the moments when I’m with him, I feel liberated.
The music of the club pulses around us, and yet it feels as though it’s just the two of us. I don’t
even realise that I’m wrapping my leg around him until his fingers grip my thigh, which is just below
his hip. His fingers dance along the hem of my dress as his teeth nip at my bottom lip.
“Unless you want me to fuck you right here on this dance floor, we need to stop.” He breathes
raggedly against my lips. Even as he speaks the words, he never releases me.
I blink, and take stock of my position. I’m wrapped around him like a vine, pressing against him
everywhere. I frown. What the hell am I doing? This is Hugo. Fuck.
I jump back away from him like I’ve been burned.
“Shit, um…” I try to think of something to say.
He leans in, speaking against my ear so I can hear him over the music. “We both know you want to
turn tail and run Sweetness, so run.” I can hear the smile in his voice, but there’s something else, a
certain resignation. He’s probably just gutted that I wouldn’t fuck him right here.
His eyes lock with mine and his usual easy smile pulls at his lips, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. I
nod quickly and turn on my stiletto heel. He’s right, I do want to run. I need to run from everything that
he represents. I need to get my head together without him infecting me with his sex rays or whatever
that shit is that he projects. I like to think he has some kind of magical power over women, because
then I’m not just some slutty bitch in heat, dry humping him in front of god knows how many people.
Shit. I go to find George to tell him I’m leaving. I’m near the bar when I feel an arm loop through
mine.
“Now that was a fucking kiss! Shit, what I wouldn’t give for a go at Hugo.” George gushes in my
ear.
I turn to face him and release a long breath. “No, that was…I don’t know what that was. Anyway,
I’m leaving.”
 He laughs. “You’re such a prude Mole. Before you start with your one woman guilt trip, I want it
noted that you’re just dating the doctor. No harm in dabbling.” He winks. Oh, god.
By the time I get home, I feel like the shittiest person alive and the guilt trip is in full swing.

Two days later, and I’m still freaking out. Hugo has called and texted relentlessly. He’s
apologised, then told me I’m ridiculous, and even that he was just horny and hoping he could get in
my pants. None of this changes the fact that I kissed him, and we’re supposed to be friends, and no
I’m not with Alex, but the intention is there. But then, we’re friends, so perhaps it’s not a big deal,
right? I mean, friends kiss sometimes. I’ve kissed Lilly and George too many times to count.
Although it’s fair to say that Lilly or George have never ever made me feel the way Hugo makes
me feel. I groan as I slowly stir my cup of coffee. I don’t know why I let him kiss me. Things are great
with Alex. Things are great with Hugo. Why do I have to blur the lines? It was the Prosecco. Must
have been. Yeah, that’s it. I’ll blame that.
There’s a knock on the door and I hop up from my spot on the sofa to answer it, taking my
chocolate spread covered toast with me. I swing the flat door open and come face to face with Hugo.
It was only a matter of time, he’s not a ‘no’ kind of guy. I step back with a resigned sigh, allowing him
into the flat. He walks in with his usual swagger. He’s wearing a pair of jeans and a tight white t-
shirt, with a black leather jacket over the top. His hair is as always, a mess. Even with the serious
look on his face, no guy has a right to look that good. He’s like a venus fly trap. I feel sorry for the
poor girls who get suckered into falling for that pretty face, only to get fucked and chucked within a
matter of hours. Oh wait, that would be me, many times. Only I’m stupid enough to get fucked and
chucked, vow never to sleep with him again, befriend him and then let him kiss me. So really, who the
hell am I to pity anyone?
I don’t know what to say to him, so I go for totally ignoring the big pink fucking elephant in the
room.
“You look good.” I say.
He raises an eyebrow at me and a small smirk pulls at his lips. He grabs my wrist and lifts it to
take a bite of my toast. Even that small touch has my pulse fluttering nervously. “When do I ever not
look good?” He mumbles around his mouthful.
I sigh. “You know, you make it really hard to like you sometimes.”
He laughs. “Sweetness, you can’t help but like me, no matter how much you hate it.” He’s so right.
Too right.
He falls silent and presses his lips into a hard line. “Hugo…Look, I can’t…”
He rolls his eyes dramatically and moves past me into the kitchen, ignoring me. “Fuck me Molly,
it was a kiss, get over it already. It’s not like I fucked you or anything.” No, but we both know that I
would have let him fuck me. He takes the bread out of the bread bin and starts making himself some
toast. Make yourself at home why don’t you?
“Hugo, you’re my friend, and then there’s Alex. I just think that maybe…”
He turns around and faces me again, leaning against the counter and crossing his arms over his
muscular chest. “Maybe what? We shouldn’t be friends just because you drunkenly kissed me, and
you’re sweet on the doctor. Come on Molly, we’re not fucking twelve.”
I scowl at him. “I kissed you? You kissed me and you know it.”
He smiles. “Are we really going to argue the logistics of this, or are we going to get over it?” He
asks.
I fold my arms over my chest. “Depends. Are you going to try and get me drunk and kiss me
again?”
“Probably.” He shrugs unapologetically. The toast pops and he smears a thick layer of chocolate
spread on it.
God, I wish I could find it in me to stay mad at him, or just not be friends with him, but I have a
soft spot for him, and as weird as our friendship is, I would miss him if he weren’t around. God, what
have I gotten myself into?
“Fine.” I huff. “But if you could attempt to keep that thing on a leash it would be appreciated.” I
say pointing at his crotch.
He takes a bite of his toast. “Never.” He mumbles around his mouthful.
This is a pointless conversation. I sigh and go about cleaning up after him. He’s so bloody messy.
“So, did you just come over here to be a prick and steal my food, or did you actually have a
purpose?”
“You forgot didn’t you?”
“Forgot what?” I ask.
“I feel so unloved.” He presses his hand to his chest, feigning offense. “You said you would hang
out with me today.” He pouts.
I did say that, and I did remember, but what with the whole facial assault and my ignoring him, I
didn’t exactly plan to see him today. “Fine, what are we doing?”
“We’re taking Gaz on a date.” He grins.
“You have met your dog right? Gary hates anything remotely social.” Hell, if it’s not sleeping or
eating he’s not interested.
“Ah, it’ll be fine.” He says with a sly grin on his face. “Have you got all your girl shit? Can we
go?”
“By girl shit, I’m assuming you mean my handbag.” I say, exasperated.

Well, the travelling arrangements are interesting. I end up sitting in the passenger seat with Gary
in the foot well between my knees. I’m wearing a jumper dress, and he keeps trying to shove his nose
up my skirt at every available opportunity. Hugo of course, finds this hilarious. Child.
“Your dog is gross.” I try to sound serious, but I’m laughing as I try to wrestle Gary’s massive
head out from under my skirt.
“Hey, Gaz has impeccable taste in women. Don’t you Gaz? You should be flattered babe.”
Flattered by the attentions of his dog.
In the end I give up and end up shoving Gary up against the door, whilst my knees end up crushed
against the centre consol. Of course, without a skirt to try and shove his head under, he now tries to
rest his chin on my lap. His disgusting, drool covered chin. He and Hugo are so well matched.

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going yet?” I ask.

He revs the engine of the shouty car as he hits the fast lane of the motorway and floors it. “I told
you, we’re taking Gaz out.”
“He doesn’t like doing anything except eating and sleeping!”
“He does like one other thing.” He smirks.
“Oh my fucking god. You got him a shag!” I laugh.
“Yep, because I’m the best daddy ever, aren’t I Gaz?” He reaches over my lap and pats the dogs
head.
“Why would you bring me to this?! I don’t want to see Gary get his funk on. That’s like animal
porn. That’s so wrong on so many levels.”
“It’s not like that. Gaz, as it turns out has superior breeding. So, I put him on this site. It’s like a
dating site for dogs. You know, likes sleeping and long sessions licking his nuts. That sort of thing.” I
laugh until my cheeks hurt. That is so cute. He actually wrote a dating profile for his dog. “Anyway,
some chick wants to pay me five hundred quid just to let Gaz have at it.”
“That is brilliant!” I grin, wiping tears from my eyes.
“So now, I just have to take him on his date. He’s going to woo her with his moves, and hit a home
run.” And then Hugo is going to high five his dog. I think a psychiatrist might call this projecting.
Speaking of which. “How’s the sex therapy going?” I ask, trying to keep a straight face.
“Well, apparently I use sex as an emotional outlet.” He manages not to crack for a few seconds,
and I almost think he’s serious, but then he snorts. “What kind of fucking shit is that?” He laughs. “I
told him that it’s an outlet alright, but there ain’t shit all emotion going into it.”
I know he’s only doing this to get out of his community service, but I actually do think he’s a sex
addict, simply because there is no way one guy can need or want that much sex and not have some
serious fucking issues. That said, I like to think I know Hugo pretty well, as does Theo. There is no
skeleton hiding in his closet that I know of. There are no abusive parents, or heart breaker ex-
girlfriends. If he was twenty, no-one would look twice at his behaviour. The problem is that he’s
twenty nine, and yet he shows absolutely no desire to stop fucking around. What those therapists don’t
understand though, is it’s not just sex. He has no desire to grow up. No desire to settle down in any
way. I honestly think Hugo will party and fuck until he can party and fuck no more. I may be wrong, I
mean look at Theo. He was almost as bad. All it takes is one person. I hope Hugo finds that person if
she’s out there, but boy, will she have to be one ballsy bitch to take him on. I can’t think of any woman
that would stick around long enough to see through his shit. And they would need to see through it,
because underneath all the bravado, he’s actually a decent guy. When the shit hits the fan, Hugo does
step up. He’s helped me so many times, and he asks for nothing in return, except maybe this odd
friendship we have, but that’s okay.
So who knows, maybe he’s a sex addict. Either way, the idea of Hugo in therapy is just hilarious.
“That sounds like you made a lot of progress.”
He shrugs. “I thought it helped a bit, so I thought I’d test it out. You know, see if I’m a changed
man. Fucked one of the chicks from the therapy. Didn’t work.” He shrugs and grins.
“You fucked another addict.” I snort.
“Yeah, turns out sex therapy is the best place to pick up chicks. I’ve been three times and every
time I’ve gotten laid. They were hot too.” He tells me. “Except the last one. She was a bit on the
chunky side. But, I’ll give it to her, she went like a fucking racehorse. Made me come like an
elephant.” He shrugs.
I shake my head. No words.

We pull up outside a large set of electric gates.

“Oh, looks like she’s a posh bird Gaz.” Hugo says as he lowers the window and presses the
button for the intercom.
“Hello.” A very upper class voice answers.
“Hey. I’m Hugo. Here to see Henrietta.”
There’s no answer, just the buzz of the gate unlatching and opening. He steers the car up the gravel
driveway and in front of a big house with a water feature in the front, and two stone bulldogs either
side of the front door.
 I clip Gary’s lead on and encourage him to hop out of the car, which despite being extremely low
to the ground, is apparently a lot of effort.
“Best limber up Gaz. Don’t want to strain anything.” Hugo pep talks him. Gary looks up at him,
his tongue hanging out as he huffs and puffs like a train. Apparently all bulldogs do that. Surely if you
get a dog, you want it to be relatively active. Gary is the total opposite of active.
The front door of the house opens and an older woman steps out. She’s wearing a bright pink
jumper, and brown chords. Her hair is a wild perm of grey hair, and she has so much make up on, I’m
not sure whether it’s making her wrinkled skin look better or worse.
Hugo glances at me and raises an eyebrow. “Don’t act like you wouldn’t give her a go.” I whisper
under my breath. He elbows me in the ribs and I grunt, keeping a smile plastered on my face as the
woman approaches.
“Hugo I assume?” She asks.
“Hey.” He says.
“Henrietta.” She introduces herself, but makes no effort to even look at me. Her eyes drop to
Gary. “This is the dog?”
“Yeah, this is Gary.” Hugo drawls.
“Gary?” She looks disgusted.
“Uh, yeah, he has some other fancy name too.” Hugo explains.
She proceeds to prod, poke and probe Gaz to within an inch of his life, including what appears to
be a weighing of his nuts. I’m not quite sure where to look. This just seems wrong somehow. When
she’s finished groping the dog, she stands up and turns on her heel.
“This way.” She gestures for us to follow as she walks us around the side of the house and through
a gate. At the back of the house is what looks like a massive summer house. She opens the door, and
the smell of dog just hits me.
I pull my sleeve down and use it to cover my nose and mouth. Hugo wrinkles his nose, but
otherwise manages to look unaffected.
Inside the building are several kennels. There’s a pen to one side, with some puppies in it.
“Aw.” I gush. I can’t help it. I mean, who can resist puppies? Henrietta spares me a brief glance
and then shows us to a kennel near the end.
“This is Delila. Her mother was a Crufts champion.” She announces proudly. I know what Crufts
is, but seriously, a dog is a dog. In typical Gary fashion, he gets bored and decides to just lay down.
“He’s just reserving his energy.” Hugo says.
I turn away, trying not to laugh. This woman is obviously serious about her dogs, and here’s Hugo,
writing dating profiles just to try and get Gaz a shag. I go over to the pen and crouch down, as a wall
of puppies all clamber to put their little feet up on the bars. They are so damn cute with their little
bellies.
“Your dog is overweight and in poor condition.” Henrietta says haughtily. “But he was bred by the
Weston Stud. His lineage is very rare.”
“Don’t listen Gaz.” Hugo whisper shouts at him. “These toff girls always go for breeding over
looks. It’s okay bud.” This time I have to turn away. My shoulders are shaking with silent laughter. Oh
god.
“Well, put him in the kennel.” She snaps. “Back!” She commands the dog inside, and it obediently
does so. Shit, Gary should come and stay with this woman for a while. He might learn a thing or two.
She opens the kennel door, and Hugo has to shove Gary inside. I think he’s worried that this might
be his new home. He’s not cut out for a life behind bars. He’s an Egyptian Cotton and fresh steak kind
of guy. He wouldn’t survive this. He flashes a worried glance at Hugo and sits staring at him, like a
child being left on the first day of school. Ah, it’s heart breaking.
“I’m not leaving you bud. You have to go and…you know….stick it to her.” He winks at the dogs
sad face.
“I’m sure he completely understands what stick it to her means.” I comment from my puppy
corner. “I think your dog’s a dud.”
“Hey, he only just met her. Give him a chance to work his moves. It takes time.” Oh dear god.
Really?
“I think we should leave. Give them some privacy.” He says.
I laugh. “He has no bloody problem with privacy when he’s at the park, trying to rape some poor
woman’s prize show dog!” Hugo ushers both Henrietta and I outside the foul smelling building. I
stand with my arms crossed, trying to ward off the cold. Hugo peeks through the glass top half of the
door.
“Oh, he’s having a sniff.” He says.
Apparently I’m going to get a blow by blow commentary of his dog’s shagging experience. Not
something I want to hear if I’m honest. I tune him out, and take out my phone. I have a few emails to
reply to that are work related.
I’m skimming through them all when I notice one with the subject line: Dinner.
I frown as I swipe the screen to open the email. My stomach tightens the second I read it. It’s from
my father.

Molly.

Here are the details of the dinner reservation, as previously discussed.

A table has been booked at Cote, on Friday 20th February for 7.30pm. Do not be late.

Sincerely

Sebastian Curtis
CEO, SC Investments.

I’ll put money on the fact that his secretary wrote that for him. The 20th is the day after tomorrow.
My stomach immediately starts churning, making me feel sick. God, why do I get like this about my
father? It’s ridiculous! He’s just one person. I want to call my mum, but honestly, she has this habit of
making me feel worse about it. He’s an arsehole, and yet she defends him. Sometimes you just want to
hate someone, and for it to be okay. You don’t want justification or sensible reasoning. She thinks I
hate him because of what he did to her, I don’t. I hate him because he takes pleasure in making me feel
like shit. I hate him because he’s just not a good person. I don’t want horrible people around me. With
him though, I apparently have no choice.
Ninety nine percent of the time he has no effect whatsoever on my life. He doesn’t talk to me, I
don’t talk to him and all is good in the world. Roughly twice a year he decides to remember that he
has a daughter, and goes about getting me back under his thumb. He’s manipulative and cruel if he has
to be. As long as he thinks he controls me, he will then leave and I won’t hear from him for another
six months. All I have to do is turn up to the dinner, let him belittle me for a couple of hours, and
that’s it. I suppose it’s a small price to pay for my flat.
 “What the fuck. Has her pussy got teeth or something?!” Hugo shrieks. I spin around and find
Hugo’s face pressed to the glass. “Oh my god. She’s gonna snap his dick off.” He flaps.
Henrietta looks positively disgusted by Hugo’s outburst, unsurprisingly. She glances through the
window beside him. “That is perfectly normal. They’ve tied.” She exclaims.
Hugo cups his package. “Poor fucker. If I’d known that would happen I wouldn’t have bothered.”
Yeah, I have no idea what that’s about, but it sounds gross. “Hugo, I’m going to go wait in the
car.” I tell him.
He doesn’t acknowledge me. His face is a picture of horror as he watches whatever is going on
inside the doggy love shack.
“Hugo!” I shout at him. He turns his face toward me. “Keys.” His eyes flick over my face, a small
frown line forming between his eyebrows. He wordlessly takes his keys from his pocket and hands
them to me.
“I’ll be right there, as soon as Gaz is…detached.” He winces as he says it.
I shrug and follow the path back to the rear of the house, and out the side gate that leads to the
front drive. I press the button on the fob, and the car makes a little chirping noise.
Once inside, I plug my phone into his sound system and start playing some Royal Blood. I let the
drums and guitar combination push away any thoughts that are currently trying to swirl around in my
brain. Fuck this shit.
I pick up the phone, and read the email over again. Maybe it’s the lack of anything particularly
interesting that bothers me. It’s just so…benign.
I quickly press the reply button and type out a brief response.

Sebastian

I will be there as agreed.

Regards
Molly Curtis
Editorial Assistant, Catwalk Publications.

It’s my work email, so my name and job title are set as a template on all my emails. I could delete
it, but he didn’t offer me the courtesy, so I don’t. It annoys him that I work for a magazine, and it
annoys him even more that I’m an assistant. Might as well rub it in.
I press the send button, and sit back in my seat.
A few minutes later and Hugo opens the passenger door, to let Gary into the foot well. He doesn’t
even try to drool on me. He lays down in the tight space, curling around my feet. Poor guy looks
knackered. Hugo slides behind the steering wheel and waves an envelope at me.
“Gaz may eat a lot, but he’s paying for himself.” I nod and feign a small smile.
I just want to go home. I’m not in the mood for Hugo’s permanently overly joyful state right now.
He tries to make conversation with me on the way home, and asks if I’m okay. I tell him I’m fine. I
can see him glancing over at me in my peripheral vision.
I turn the music up slightly, and turn my face toward the window.

We stop to drop Gary off at Hugo’s flat, before he drives me home.

“Thanks.” I say as I get out of the car, slamming the car door shut behind me. I’m almost to my
front door, when I hear his door slam, and that little chirp of the car locking.
 I spin on my heel to face him. He’s only a couple of feet away from me. “What are you doing?” I
ask.
He takes a deep breath and releases me slowly. “Coming in, so I can find out why you’re pissed
off with me.”
I turn back and unlock the building door. “I’m not pissed off with you. I’m fine.” I snap.
“Uh-huh. Real convincing there Sweetness.” I push the door open and he follows me through, like
a shadow.
My flat door is immediately on the left. I turn and press my back to it, facing him. “Honestly Hugo.
I’m fine. Just go.”
His eyes narrow and he steps closer to me, until there’s almost no space between us. He leans one
forearm against the door beside my head. “Give it up Molly. I’m not going anywhere until you tell me
what I did to piss you off.” My pulse skitters wildly as his body leans in closer to mine.
“Not everything is about you!” I shout.
He tilts his head and cocks an eyebrow. “No shit. I thought only I had the ability to piss you off.”
He smirks.
“Sadly, no.” I sigh. “Look, just go. It’s just not a good time okay. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
He laughs. “Not a fucking chance. Inside now. You will tell me. And remember I have no respect
for boundaries or socially appropriate behaviour, so there’s no point in arguing with me.”
I groan. God, he’s infuriating. I push him away from me and turn around to unlock the door. “You
said you hate girl shit.”
He shrugs. “I do…with anyone but you.” I smile, because even if he doesn’t realise it, which he
won’t, that’s actually really quite sweet. I lean my forehead against the door for a second. I just don’t
want to talk about it, but Hugo is like an annoying child, and he won’t let this go.
“Okay. I’ll tell you, but this will need wine.” I warn. “And you can buy pizza.” I add.
“On it.” He says, pulling his phone from his pocket. He starts tapping away, and I start hunting for
that wine. I’m sure we have a bottle in the fridge. I’m pretty good at keeping the place stocked.
George is out. It’s a Saturday night, so he’s probably out on the pull somewhere. George and I are
good friends, but honestly, Lilly kind of linked us. George and I are the devil and angel on her
shoulder if you like. I was always the one trying to keep her on the straight and narrow. She has a lot
of issues, and she doesn’t always deal with them very well. I would always be the rational one,
where George would take her out and get her so smashed she couldn’t remember what the hell the
problem was in the first place. Basically George and I are two opposite ends of a spectrum, and
although I’m happy to party with him on occasion, I can’t keep up with him like Lilly used to. He
knows it and I know it, so all is well. George is one of those people who will walk into a bar on his
own, but never ever leave alone. Whether it’s making friends with a group of girls, or pulling a guy,
he’s very sociable and instantly likeable. His looks don’t hurt either. He jokingly calls me a heart
breaker, because of my admittedly rather large list of ex’s. If I’m a breaker of hearts, then George is a
destroyer of them. I’ve lost count of the number of hopeful faces I’ve watched walk out of his
bedroom in the morning, never to be seen again.
No doubt I’ll be seeing just such a face tomorrow morning.
“Okay. Pizza is ordered, and I even said I’d give him a big tip if he stopped and got some wine.”
Hugo says coming into the kitchen. I straighten from where I’m bent over in the fridge. I glance over
my shoulder and find him staring at my arse. He looks up at me and shrugs without apology.
“I have one bottle.” I wave said bottle at him.
“I take it this is a two bottle conversation?” He asks, with a raised eyebrow.
 I nod. “This is most definitely a two bottle situation.”
He nods, looking thoughtful. “Okay. So are you going to tell me?”
I pour out a glass of wine for Hugo, and another for myself. When I say glass, I use the term
loosely. Lilly’s brother Harry is always travelling, and he brought us back a set of wineglasses from
Italy. I shit you not, you can get three quarters of a bottle in one glass. They’re more like buckets on
sticks.
I hand him one glass and take a gulp from the other. I move from the kitchen to the living room, he
follows me quietly. I take a seat on the sofa, with my back to the arm and my legs folded underneath
me. He sits close to me, side on and grabs one ankle, pulling my legs out from underneath me until my
feet are in his lap. He does this often, and sometimes I think it’s not even a conscious thing, he just
does it. He must like it. He always just rests his hands across my shins, or grips my ankles loosely.
It’s not sexual in any way, but that casual touch shocks me. It’s a foreign, but oddly comforting slice of
warmth that Hugo rarely shows. Don’t get me wrong, Hugo is warm. Few people smile as much as
Hugo, or are as quick to laugh. He exudes this happiness, and yet…he’s ice cold. He has this care free
vibe going on, but underneath that façade, he’s terrified of feeling anything. He would never ever
admit it, but as soon as you get to know him, it’s glaringly obvious. He doesn’t talk about anything in
depth. As soon as anything emotional starts to come up, he jokingly skirts around it. Getting to the real
guy under all that whoring and partying bravado is not something I’ve managed, but it must be there.
He turns his body slightly to face me. “Okay. Talk.”
I drag my fingers through my hair. “You don’t want to hear this shit. I know you’d rather be
fucking some girl right now.”
He frowns and presses his lips into a line. He looks…confused. “I’d rather my friend told me why
she went from being the cool chick I know to…well, a moody girl.” He says the word girl like it
offends him and it makes me laugh. Aside from the fact that I’m pretty sure he would fuck me if I
asked, because, it’s Hugo, and I have a vagina, I think he almost sees me as one of the guys.
I take a deep breath. I hate talking about this shit. Mostly because I think it just sounds pathetic. I
sound like some teenager who’s pissed over their parents divorce or some shit.
“Okay. I have to go to dinner with my dad on Friday.” He says nothing, just waits patiently. “I hate
him.” Nothing. “Like, really hate him.”
“So don’t go.” He says as though it’s so damn obvious.
I tilt my head back and study a spot on the ceiling. “It’s not that simple. He’s my dad, and he pays
for the flat.” I sigh. “I only have to see him once every few months. It’s a small price to pay, but I still
hate it nonetheless.”
He nods in understanding. “Why do you hate him?”
I laugh humourlessly. “Now that is a simple question with a really bloody long answer.” I murmur
before taking another heavy gulp of wine. It’s cheap stuff, and it tastes like crap, but I don’t really
care. “He’s just a dick.”
He laughs. “There are a lot of people who are guilty of that.”
I smile. “Yeah, I guess. He just likes to make me feel like shit. Whatever I do isn’t good enough.
He pays for the flat so he can control me.”
“So why not just go it alone?” He says in a tight voice.
“My mum totally freaked out about me living in London. She hates him too, but she put her pride
on the line and called him, to get him to rent the flat for me. When they divorced, he left her with
nothing. She does okay for herself now, but she doesn’t have anywhere near the money he has.” I
explain. “She worries about me and Lilly, continuously.”
 “I have wondered before how you guys managed to afford this place. These apartments aren’t
cheap.” He mutters. “Your mum’s right to worry about you though. London isn’t always the safest.”
“I just wonder sometimes whether the price is too high. Sometimes your pride is more important,
and I would love to tell him to go fuck himself.” I stare at my hands, spread across my thighs.
“You shouldn’t let him walk all over you, Molly.” His eyes search my face.
“I don’t have much choice.” I whisper.
“You know I would always help you out with this shit…” He says. I glance up at him, and he’s
staring at a spot on my shin, drawing little circles on it with his finger.
“What do you mean?”
He sighs. “Look, I have more money than I could ever spend…” He starts.
“No.” I shake my head. “I would never take money off you Hugo, you’re my friend.” There’s a
beat of silence as I chug the rest of my glass of wine.
“Sweetness.” He says gently.
“Yeah.”
“Look at me.” Gentle fingers touch my chin, pulling my gaze up to meet his. I meet his eyes, which
are determined, yet soft. “It’s because you’re my friend that I would do anything for you, but if you
won’t let me buy your way out of dinner, then I’ll come with you.” My heart squeezes violently, and
my chest gets tight.
I shake my head. “He won’t like it, and he’ll think we’re dating.”
He smirks and tilts his head to the side. “You know I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks. I don’t
give a fuck whether he likes it or not. He can think what he likes about us, but I’ll go as your friend.”
“You would do that for me?” I ask quietly.
His lips kick up in a sweet smile. “Sweetness, there isn’t much I wouldn’t do for you.” Again
with the sweet statements. I may have to check he hasn’t had a personality transplant. I want to crack a
joke at him, but I don’t.
“Thanks.” I smile.
He takes my hand, brushing his thumb across my knuckles. “No-one gets to put you down except
me.” He flashes me that charming smile and a wink.
Hugo stays and hangs out with me. I don’t know if it’s weird that I spend more time with Hugo
than I do with Alex, like a lot more time. I guess that’s just how it goes when Alex works ridiculous
shifts, and Hugo doesn’t work at all. I’m well aware of the fact that Hugo and I hang out mainly
because he currently has no-one else. I’m sure that as soon as Theo and Lilly come back things will
go back to normal, and we’ll see each other on social occasions like we did before. That thought
makes me sad. Hugo and I have become the most unlikely of friends. I doubted we would ever have
anything beyond flirtation and sexual innuendos, but I think I judged him too quickly. Under his
bullshit, he’s a good guy. He’s borderline insane most of the time, and he does some crazy shit, but
he’s good.
I send Alex a text wishing him a good night. I don’t get one back, but then I don’t expect it. He’s
working the late shift tonight.
We eat pizza, drink wine and watch this year’s Victoria Secret fashion show. I love all the
theatrics of it, and well…Hugo isn’t exactly complaining. I eventually fall asleep watching some film
with my head on his lap. Who knew that under that man-whore exterior is really just a big softie.
************
I stare at my reflection in the mirror above the sink. I’m wearing a pencil skirt with a fitted blouse
tucked into it. My father would approve. God, really? Part of me wants to throw on a mini dress and
thigh high boots just to get a reaction, but honestly, I just want to get this over with as quietly as
possible. I lift my hand to tuck my poker straight blonde hair behind my ear, and notice that my hand is
shaking. I snatch my fingers into a fist. “Man the fuck up Molly.” I growl at myself under my breath.
My stomach is in knots, and I feel like I’m going to be sick. I’m debating sending him a message to
tell him I’m ill, when I hear a quiet tap tap on my bedroom door.
“Come in.” I shout through the bathroom doorway.
I hear the bedroom door click open, and then Hugo appears in the doorway. He leans against the
door frame, with his arms crossed over his chest. His fitted shirt strains over his biceps and
shoulders, and he’s wearing trousers, proper suit trousers.
I can feel my eyebrows creep up to my hairline. “Wow, you look really smart.” I comment.
His face breaks into a smile, and suddenly the handsome stranger turns back into the Hugo I know.
“Thanks, sweetness. Needs must and all that. Wouldn’t want your dad to think you’re dating someone
who doesn’t know how to dress properly.” I’ve seen Hugo go to some of the smartest parties, and he
never dresses appropriately. We once went to a black tie do, and he wore a suit and shirt, with no tie.
That’s the smartest I’ve ever seen him. For dinner with my father, I thought black jeans was being
pretty hopeful. Smart looks good on him though, like really good. Those trousers are clinging in all
the right places. I shouldn’t be ogling Hugo, but he’s a good distraction right now.
His smile widens into a full blown grin. “You keep checking me out like that and we won’t be
going anywhere.” My eyes flash to his. He laughs. “I’ll have to wait a while for Rambo to calm his
shit down.”
I roll my eyes. “Seriously? Do you have an off switch?”
“I prefer to be turned on.” He smirks at himself. “Anyway, enough fantasising about my cock, you.
We going?”
I take a deep breath. Ready as I’ll ever be. “Sure.”
He narrows his eyes at me, watching me closely. I push past him out of the bathroom and through
the bedroom. Best to just get this shit out of the way I think.

My stomach clenches hard as I walk into Cote. The hostess greets us at the door and leads me into
the restaurant. Hugo follows, keeping his palm on the small of my back, as we move through the busy
restaurant.
My father is seated at a table, his young fiancé seated next to him. Of course, I should have
expected him to bring his latest bit of stuff. Jesus, she’s not much older than me. I’ve never actually
met her in person. Just heard about her. She’s the one he left the secretary for. Shit, what’s her name?
“Molly.” He says as he stands.
“Dad.” He sort of hugs me, although it’s stiff and clearly uncomfortable. He pulls away quickly,
and his eyes narrow on Hugo. “Who’s this?” He asks, his voice brusque.
“This is Hugo Harrison. He’s a friend.” I quickly add. I don’t turn to look at Hugo. I can imagine
what my father is seeing. Cocky smile, messy, just fucked hair, and a suit that’s worth more money
than the average person’s car. Hugo is a walking contradiction if ever I saw one. I also have no doubt
that he’s probably got his eyes firmly trained on the fiancé’s very ample cleavage. Not that my father
can really judge him. I can’t imagine he’s with her for her sparkling personality.
No matter how self-righteous they are, deep down, all men are the same. They’re all animals. At
least Hugo admits it. Men like my father make me sick, so bloody determined to be better than
everyone else, but under it all, they are just as corrupt, if not more so. My father likes to pretend that
he’s holier than thou, and yet he cheated on his wife, his beautiful wife. For what? Instant
gratification? A little wild sex? He’s no better than anyone. He’s a total failure. I know this, and yet
when he looks at me, I can almost feel myself buckling under the pressure of it.
“Sit.” He snaps. He’s not happy that Hugo’s here, and even though I didn’t want Hugo to come
with me, I’m now pleased he’s here. I have to stop myself from reaching out and taking his hand.
“Aren’t you going to introduce me to your fiancé?” I say with false politeness.
“This is Monique.”
She turns her gaze to me. “Hello Molly.” She has a heavy Russian accent. It would seem he likes
his Russian beauties. She has long dark hair, and bright hazel eyes. Her lips are full, her boobs even
fuller and her waist tiny. She’s wearing a light blue blouse, with a navy blazer over the top, and a
string of pearls around her throat. She looks out of place in the attire. My father is clearly attempting
to make her look older, or classier, or both. It’s not working, she just looks ridiculous.
“Do you mind me asking how old you are, Monique?” I ask in fluent Russian. From the corner of
my eye, I see Hugo’s head whip around to face me. My father stiffens.
Monique’s lips pull up at the corners. “You speak Russian? I’m impressed.” She replies in her
native tongue.
I nod. “Yes, my mother taught me.” Her face falls slightly. “She’s half Russian.”
Her smile disappears, and she reverts back to English. “In answer to your question, I’m twenty
six.” Huh, she looks younger. That’s old for a Russian girl. They usually get married early.
“Molly.” My father hisses under his breathe.
I ignore him and turn my attention to Hugo. “What do you want to drink?” I ask him, trying to
crawl out from under my father’s harsh glare.
Hugo has a small smile on his face, as though he finds this entire situation amusing. “Corona
please, babe.” I narrow my eyes at him and he blows me a kiss.
When the waiter comes over I order his Corona and a glass of red wine for myself. He takes our
food order whilst he’s here. I always get the steak here.
“So Hugo, what do you do?” My father asks.
Hugo shrugs. “Oh, you know, a bit of this, a bit of that.” I smile at my father’s exasperated
expression, glad it’s not only reserved for me. “I own a distribution company, as well as some other
business ventures. Property, a bar, a night club, oh and a strip club. Can’t forget that one.” He smirks
at me. Fucking Hugo.
“Small businesses then?” My father asks, that condescending tone of his kicking in.
Hugo laughs. I sigh and turn to my dad, taking pity on him before he embarrasses himself, although
he doesn’t have to try to look like an arse, it comes very naturally. “He owns HH Distribution.”
My fathers eyes go wide, and Hugo tilts his head back, looking at the ceiling. “You’re that Hugo
Harrison?”
Hugo rolls his head to the side, like a defiant teenager. “The one and only.” I don’t know which
way this will go. My father appreciates a good businessman, but Hugo is more famous for his
partying, womanising antics than he is for his business prowess. He and Theo have made quite a name
for themselves over the years. With Theo getting engaged and settling down of course, Hugo is now a
one man partying and fucking machine.
Just when I think he’s going to say something, he turns his attentions on me. “And what about you
Molly? Are you still working as an assistant?” He spits the word assistant as though it insults him.
“Yes.” I reply without emotion.
He turns to Hugo. “I had such high hopes for her, but her mother filled her head with dreams of
journalism, and now she’s an assistant.”
 Hugo presses his lips together in a thin line, actually looking serious for once. “Molly wants to be
an editor. What better way to learn than to assist the editor of one of the biggest publications in the
country?”
My father shakes his head. “You could have been anything Molly. You went to the best schools…”
Okay, so apparently he’s realised that Hugo will not side with him on this, and reverted back to his
usual tactics of ‘let’s make Molly feel like a total fucking let down.’ I say nothing.
Hugo however, says a lot. “You know, my parents did nothing but pressure me when I was going
through school and college. They paid for me to go to Eaton, expected me to get into Oxford, but I
hated it. Business acumen is not learned in the classroom. So whilst they sat there bragging to all their
posh prick friends about how their son was in Eaton, I was getting wasted, and shoving enough
cocaine up my nose to start my own cartel.” He laughs. My father blanches. “All of their money and
their pressure was a total waste of time. I dropped out in my second year of A-levels and disowned
them. A friend helped me start up my business, and here I am today, richer and happier than my
parents will ever be.” He drags his hands through his messy hair. “The worst thing you can do is tell
someone they aren’t good enough. It just makes them resent you.” I glance at him and flash him an
appreciative smile.
A waiter interrupts to bring our food. Hugo’s hand reaches out and covers mine on my lap. “You
okay?” He whispers.
I nod. I’m not okay, but I’m no worse than I usually am around my dad. God, I wish I could just
give him the fucking finger. But unless I want both George and I to have to live in some hell hole flat,
I have to stick it out. George and I couldn’t even afford half the rent on our flat without my dad paying
for it. I know he only does it to keep a hold over me, which just makes it worse.
As various dishes are placed on the table, I sneak a quick look across the table at Monique. She
hasn’t said a word. The perfect wife, seen and not heard. Just how Sebastian Curtis likes his wives.
My mother never really fit that bracket. She was always wild and free, a butterfly that he liked to
keep in a jar. As a child, I never really understood their relationship. If he loved her, then why did he
want to change her? I look exactly like my mother, and I have many of her traits. Since I was thirteen
years old, he’s been trying to tame me, because he couldn’t tame her. He would never willingly
divorce her, because it wouldn’t look good. So instead, he had an affair with his pathetic secretary.
Seriously, the woman wouldn’t say boo to a goose. Of course when my mother found out she left him,
which shocked the shit out of him. I remember him telling her that she was nothing without him. Truth
is, he was nothing without her. When he was with her, there was a shred of kindness in him. He was
the cold hearted businessman, but deep down, he loved his crazy and beautiful wife, he loved me. Just
not enough. He brought about his own destruction. A small part of me pities him.
I’m his only child, and an eternal disappointment to him. I don’t know why I care, but I just can’t
help myself, no matter how many times I tell myself I shouldn’t.

As anticipated, dinner was awkward as hell. I slide into the seat of Hugo’s bright orange
Lamborghini and rest my head back against the smooth leather.
Hugo gets in next to me, and says nothing for a while. “Your dad is a fucking dick.”
I laugh. “Yep.”
“Want to go get drunk?” He asks.
“Yep.”
Hugo stops at a Bargain Booze garage on the way home, which makes me laugh. Fuck knows what
dodgy shit he’s buying.
 As soon as I get inside Hugo’s flat, Gaz runs over to me, well, sort of shuffles really. I crouch
down and stroke the ugly bugger. He presses against me, wanting to touch as much of me as possible,
whilst his bum wiggles around in a happy dance.
“That dog is soft as shit over you.” Hugo mumbles.
“I’m weirdly fond of his dribbling, snoring ways.”
He snorts. “Someone has to be.” Hugo is so full of shit. He loves this dog. I’m pretty sure if
anyone else took a shit on his rug, they’d be out.
I stand and make my way through to the living room. Gary follows behind me, sounding like a
little pig, snorting as he goes. Poor guy can barely breathe.
“Here.” Hugo appears from the kitchen doorway and hands me a glass of …something. A sniff
tells me it has a lot of vodka in it. I take a big gulp and wince at the burn. Okay, more like three parts
vodka to one part soda.
“Oh god, that’s nasty.”
“It was ten quid for the bottle. Of course it’s nasty.” He points out. “You don’t drink it for the
taste.” He says, chuckling to himself.
He presses a button on a remote, and rock music starts blaring through the sound system.

Three triple vodkas in and I’m pissed. “I mean really, I should expect it. He’s such a prick.”
He nods his head. “Yeah, we established that the last ten times you said it.” He says with a wry
smile on his lips.
“God, you must hate me.” I moan. Poor Hugo, listening to my shit all the time. I’m just hurt. My
dad always hurts me. “I’m pathetic.”
Hugo smiles. “No. You’re drunk.”
I nod, and it feels like the room spins. “I’m drunk.” I agree. There’s a pause. “I didn’t know you
disowned your parents.” I start.
He shrugs. “Nothing to know.”
“Hugo!” I shove his shoulder, and he sighs, throwing his head back against the sofa.
“My parents think that because they birthed and raised me they own me, and can control my life.
You should know by now I can’t be controlled.” He flashes me that beautiful smile and my heart
slams against my ribs. “Apparently I’m a disappointment, but I’d like to point out, a very rich
disappointment.”
“You and me both, except I’m not rich. It doesn’t work quite as well.” I huff a laugh.
“Don’t sulk, sweetness. The only disappointing thing about you is your tits.” He smirks as he
dodges my fist.
“Arsehole.” I grumble, downing the rest of the petrol in my glass.
A sly smile creeps across his lips and he narrows his eyes at me. “Tell me, have you ever done
any drugs?”
I wrinkle my nose. “One time in Ibiza, Lilly bought these pills off a guy. I passed out.”
He laughs, tilting his head to the side. “Sounds like Lilly.” His head is thrown back, his legs
outstretched and propped on the coffee table. My feet are on his lap, and his fingers are wrapped
around one ankle in the way he seems so fond of. His touch is warm and far too familiar.
“Well, one of bouncers confiscated some weed off a dealer outside the club last weekend.” He
turns to face me, a mischievous grin on his lips.
“You want to get stoned?” I giggle. “What are you, like sixteen?”
“Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.”
 I shrug, because why not? Wait, no, I don’t do drugs. Or maybe I’ve just never had the chance.
“Sure. Okay.” Oh god.
He chuckles as he lifts my legs and gets up. A few minutes later he comes back with a rolled joint
and a lighter. He places it against his lips as he rolls the lighter flint, holding the flame to the end. I
watch as it catches, the end glowing a bright red. I’m entranced by the movement of his lips as they
purse around the joint. Fuck, he looks sexy doing that. He takes it between his thumb and forefinger
and hands it to me.
I stare at it dubiously for a second before placing it to my lips and sucking back a lungful of thick
smoke. I went through a brief phase of rebellious smoking in my teens, so I manage not to cough.
He watches me closely, his eyes tracing my every movement. When I exhale a few seconds later,
he smiles. “Atta girl. You’re a rebel at heart.”
“I’m not a rebel.” I laugh drunkenly. “I’m the good girl remember. The sensible one. The one who
gets walked all over.”
He watches me as he takes a long drag of the joint. “You’re a good person, and you are without
doubt, one of the best people I know, but you aren’t a doormat. There’s a difference babe.” He looks
away as he blows out a long stream of smoke.
“I let my dad treat me like total shit.” I laugh, because the combination of weed and booze are
making my head spin. I pick up my glass, which has somehow filled itself again. “Hell, I let you treat
me like shit didn’t I?” He says nothing. “Apparently I have daddy issues.” I laugh again, because this
situation is so ridiculous. I should call Lilly. She would talk me out of this downward spiral. I don’t
though, instead I neck half the glass.
“I didn’t mean to treat you badly.” He says quietly. I glance up and find him watching me closely.
His eyes are slightly bloodshot. I shrug it off, because seriously, who cares?
“Doesn’t matter now. It’s good, I’m good.” I take the joint from him and press it to my lips,
inhaling deeply and holding it until my lungs start screaming for air. I release my breath slowly and
shimmy down on the sofa, leaning my head back on the arm, and stretching my legs across Hugo, until
by bum is pressed against his right thigh.
The door buzzer sounds, and I glance at Hugo quickly. Shit, it’s a Friday night. I’m probably
interrupting his plans, and by plans I mean sex.
“Ignore it.” He says, waving it off and taking the joint from me.
The door buzzer goes off again, and again. I laugh, as a pleasant numb feeling starts to wash over
my entire body.
“Someone really really wants in your pants.” I giggle. “Or, maybe it’s someone’s husband coming
to kick your arse.”
He grins as he blows out a stream of smoke. “Wouldn’t be the first time sweetness.”
“Ugh, just answer it already. If he knocks you out I promise to defend your honour. Pinky swear.” I
hold out my little finger, and he rolls his eyes before linking his little finger with mine. The fact that
he just pinky swore has me cracking up.
He gets up, leaving me to my fit of hysterics.
I hear him pick up the receiver and snap at whoever it is. “What?” He barks. Pleasant.
“Hugo. What took you so long? It’s freezing out here.” A female voice whines.
“Who the fuck is this?” He grumbles.
“It’s me, Maddy. You said the other day to come by any time.” She purrs. Oh, sex, she is definitely
the sex, not the punching.
“Now isn’t a good time.” He says. What the fuck? Did he just turn down a fuck?! Why would he
do that? Is he ill? Oh my god, what if he has the clap? I laugh.
“But I came all the way here to see you.” The voice whines.
“Look, I don’t know who the fuck you are. I’m busy.” He’s so grouchy, oh my god, he must have
the clap. That’s the only possible explanation here.
“But…”
“Just fuck off okay.” He slams the receiver against the wall.
I close my eyes and smile as my head swims in a pleasant fog of numbness. This is a happy place.
I can totally see why stoners always seem so chilled out. I open my eyes and find Hugo standing over
me, watching me with a stupid grin on his face. He looks so cute.
“You have the clap!” I say pointing at him.
His eyebrows shoot up. “Uh…” He shoves his hand down the waistband of his jeans, groping
himself. “Nope, still there. Why, may I ask, do you think I have the clap?”
“Well, you turned down sex. Have you ever done that? I didn’t think it was physically possible.
And you’re grumpy.” I point out, “Like, ‘my dick might fall off and I haven’t been laid in all of 1 hour’
grumpy.” He folds his arms over his chest as his lips twitch in amusement. “Plus, why wouldn’t I
think you have the clap? You’re…you!”
“You done?”
“Yep.”
“I don’t have the clap. I almost always bag it up…” He starts.
“Almost…”
“Always with the rough looking ones.” He argues.
“Well, that makes it okay then. I’m sure all the pretty ones are definitely clean. In fact, they are
probably more likely to have it than the rough ones, because no-one wants to fuck the rough ones.
Except you, because you have no standards.” I smile as he frowns as though only now comprehending
this possibility.
“I have standards.” He defends.
“I’ve seen the girls you fuck…” I trail off.
A smug smile spreads across his face. “Fucked you didn’t I?”
“That was the high point of your life, never to be repeated again.” My voice is slow and lazy. I’m
so relaxed I can’t speak properly!
He leans forward, bending over me and getting in my face. “It was a high point sweetness, but
never say never.” I can feel his breath on my lips, and my heart suddenly leaps to life. The light
hearted joking of only seconds ago is suddenly gone, replaced by this tension, but it’s not a bad
tension.
“So if you don’t have the clap then why did you turn away a perfectly good fuck?” I whisper.
His eyes dance mischievously. He always seems to have this look in his eye, like you never quite
know what he’s going to do next, but you know it will be exciting. If I could describe him in one
word, that would be it exciting…or maybe disgusting…or whore. Okay, yeah, I can’t do one word.
He grabs my legs and lifts them so he can sit down, before putting them back on his lap.
“Because I’m hanging out with you, obviously.” He trails his finger absentmindedly up my shin,
and my pulse quickens.
What is it about him that makes my heart hammer in my chest? I have this visceral reaction to him,
a pull that I can’t put into words. He makes me feel alive, he always has. It’s as though he makes
everything seem more colourful, more interesting. When I’m around him, it’s just a little easier to
breathe and life is a little bit brighter.
 He’s still smiling at me, and it makes my stomach flutter. He’s so pretty. I just want to touch him.
Before I know it, I’m scrambling to my knees next to him, without ever consciously having chosen
to do so. I reach out and touch his face, running my fingers over the stubble of his cheek, through his
hair.
He smiles, and it’s so beautiful. I trace my thumb across his bottom lip. He wraps his hand around
my wrist, and grabs me by my chin.
“Molly.” He laughs, staring into my eyes. “Shit, you are so out of it.”
I frown. “I’m not.” My tongue feels thick in my mouth. “I just want to touch you.” I say.
He releases me, and lifts one eyebrow. “Then touch away, sweetness.”
 CHAPTER NINE
HUGO
Note to self. Molly has no fucking tolerance to weed. No sooner have the words left my lips, than
she takes it very literally. She crawls across my lap, and swings one leg over both of mine. Her long
legs straddle my hips, her skirt hiking up in the process, exposing the tops of her lace stockings. Fuck!
I close my eyes and bite the inside of my cheek, just trying to think of something that isn’t Molly…
with her long legs…and her hot underwear…straddling me. Damn it. I’m stoned, but not enough to
take advantage of her.
I squint one eye open. I can’t help it, a guy only has so much restraint, and I am so far from
chivalrous it’s not even funny. Holy shit, she’s so hot. Her hands stroke over my chest, a huge smile on
her full lips. She runs her index finger over my lips, and it takes every ounce of restraint not to suck
that finger into my mouth.
“Molly, you…” She tilts her head to the side, and bites down on her bottom lip.
“Do you want me Hugo?” She says with a teasing grin.
I swallow. “So much. Too much.” I tell her. Too much, that’s the problem. I can take or leave
almost any girl, because there will always be another to replace her, but Molly, well she’s just not
replaceable. And it’s that little fact that scares the living shit out of me.
Her blue eyes flicker up to meet mine. She runs her nails across my jaw, scratching gently down
my throat.
“I thought you always get what you want…” She spreads her thighs a little wider, and her skirt
inches up just a little more. Another couple of inches and I’ll be able to see the scrap of black lace
that I know will be covering her pussy. If there’s one thing I know about Molly, it’s that her underwear
is always matching, and always hot as hell. She could lure a man straight in to hell with her lingerie
selection. The combination of drink and drugs has brought out the dirty girl she tries so vehemently to
keep buried. This Molly is my favourite, but not when I’m supposed to be her friend, the friend who
doesn’t fuck her. Shit.
She yanks my shirt up, dragging her nails over my stomach. I groan and clench my fingers into
fists, fighting the urge to touch her so hard. She leans forward, and brushes her lips across my jaw,
before scraping her teeth down my throat. God fucking damn. I can’t take this. I have to touch her. I
run my hands from her knees, all the way up, until I’m pushing her skirt up, and grasping her hips. As
predicted, her underwear has me almost exploding in my jeans. Her stockings are clipped to a black
lace garter belt, the straps cutting into her skin slightly. Her pussy is covered in a black lace thong.
My fingers twitch on her hips, dying to dive underneath that thin piece of material.
Her fingers work their way into my hair, pulling at the roots until my eyes meet hers. Her face is
close to mine, her breath touching my lips until I can practically taste her on my tongue. Everything
about her has me rock hard and near fucking desperate. I can’t think straight around her, I’ve never
been able to. It’s just her. I feel like I can’t fucking breathe, as what very little conscience I have tells
me I need to stop. The problem is, that small voice is fighting against the much, much larger part of
me that is screaming at me to fuck her, to take her, to claim her in every fucking way. Wait. What the
hell? Claim her? Shit.
She flashes me a look, a look I know very well. I’ve seen it on the face of hundreds of horny
women. My cock instantly tries to break free of my jeans, and it’s not comfortable. I reach up and pull
her hair free of its pony tail. Her long blonde hair, falls around her shoulders. I trail my fingers across
her throat, and her eyes flutter closed. There are so many reasons why I should attempt to actually find
some moral compass right now, but I can’t think of any of them. All I can see is her long legs wrapped
around my waist whilst I fuck her. The way her face looks when she comes. I can almost feel, the way
her pussy feels wrapped around my dick. The way her tongue feels in my mouth. I haven’t fucked
Molly in a long time, and I’ve fucked a lot of girls since, but I remember everything about her, and
nothing about them. She’s my guilty pleasure, my weakness, my addiction. And like a fucking addict, I
want a hit. Months of cold turkey haven’t helped. I want her so fucking badly, I’d sell my left nut for it
right now.
Now, I’d love to tell you that some moral battle in being waged in my mind right now, but that
would be a lie. My mind is out of the office and all calls are being diverted to my cock.
I grab a handful of her hair and slam my lips over hers. She doesn’t hesitate. She kisses me hard.
Her tongue fights against mine, and I smile as I bite her bottom lip.
“So damn feisty, sweetness.” She pulls back, her eyes blazing. Her hair is wild, her expression
hungry. She rears up onto her knees, and I have to tilt my head back to look at her.
A smile pulls at my lips as I run my hands up the backs of her thighs, tracing the garter straps until
I’m cupping her firm arse. I move one hand to her front, and cup her between her legs, tracing the
damp lace of her underwear. My cock jerks as she shamelessly rolls her hips towards me.
“So fucking wet for me.” I growl, burying my face in her chest.
“I’m always fucking wet for you.” She breathes. I love it when she talks dirty.
Ah, fuck this. I grab the scrap of lace covering her pussy and yank until the material rips. Her
nails dig into my shoulders, raking over my skin.
I grip her waist and pick her up, slamming her back down on the coffee table. Her breath hitches
violently. I don’t do careful, and she doesn’t want careful, no matter what she tells herself.
I press my hard cock against her bare pussy, only a layer of denim between us. She moans, her
lips parting as her eyes close. I nip her bottom lip and her fingers dig into my back. I’ve never wanted
anything more than I want to dive into her pussy right now.
 CHAPTER TEN
MOLLY
Oh dear fucking god. I can barely breathe as Hugo’s lips trail across my jaw and down my throat.
I can’t think, I can’t see anything but him, can’t feel anything but his lips on my body, his hands
touching me, holding me possessively. He dominates me with one look.
He rears up over me, watching me like a predator. His hands grasp my shirt and yank it apart. The
buttons pop off, scattering everywhere and bouncing off the coffee table. I bite my lip and try to
clench my thighs together, meeting his hard muscular thighs.
A cocky smile pulls at his lips as he leans over me, tracing his lips over my stomach. I tremble
underneath him.
“You’re sexy as fuck when you’re like this, sweetness.” I can’t respond, I can’t breathe. My
fingers wind into his hair as my hips grind up against him, trying to find some kind of friction.
Anything. I just need something. “So fucking wild for me.” He growls, his hot breathe touching my
skin in a sensual caress.
I’m pulling at the strands of his hair in desperation as my body starts to take over, writhing under
his touch. He roughly shoves my skirt up further over my hips, before his hands move to the insides of
my thighs, his palms gliding over the sensitive skin.
“So fucking beautiful.” He groans as he stares at my pussy, biting his bottom lip. He kneels
between my thighs, and then his mouth is on me, and I…oh my god. I swear he’s trying to kill me. My
eyes flutter closed as my head falls back and a long moan slips from my lips.
“Fucking watch me, Molly.” He rumbles, his breath blowing over my wet pussy. I lean up on my
elbows, and my eyes meet his, between my legs. “Watch me fuck you with my tongue.” I’ve never
been a dirty talker, but damn his words always do something to me. A small smirk kicks up the side of
his mouth, before he very literally fucks me with his tongue. Feeling it is one thing, but watching it at
the same time, it’s erotic in the most intimate way.
His eyes hold mine as his tongue flicks over my clit. I clench my fists and feel my nails bite into
the skin of my palm. His tongue moves over me, in me, teasing me until I’m squirming and rolling my
hips up toward his face as a stream of expletives leave my lips.
He laughs against me, and the vibrations drive me wild. I’m so bloody close. I need to come,
more than I need my next breath. This is what he does to me, what he always does. He imbeds himself
into my physical being until I’m desperate, dependent and downright fucking shameless.
“Just fucking make me come already!” I snarl.
He lifts his face away from me and cocks an eyebrow, a smug grin on his face. “Ask nicely.” Oh,
I’m going to kill him. “Beg me to make you come Molly.” His voice is a husky rasp that washes over
my fraught senses.
I have no shame at this point, so I do. I beg him. “Make me come.” I groan.
He thrusts two fingers inside me, and my hips buck off the table. Then, he leans forward and flicks
his tongue over my clit. Everything starts to explode. My fingers are clawing manically at my own
hair, as he pounds his fingers into me. He’s brutal and unforgiving, and I love it. I come so hard, I see
stars as I scream his name.

I drag my eyes open and immediately squint against the bright morning light. My head is pounding,
and my mouth feels like a camels arsehole. It takes me a few moments to become aware of my
surroundings. Hugo’s house. I remember coming back here, and drinking, and then…fuck, smoking
pot? After that it’s all blank. I certainly don’t know how I got to his bed.
I sit up slowly, fighting back the churning in my stomach. Gary is laying on the end of the bed
snoring quietly, and Hugo is next to me. It’s then that I notice my state of undress. My shirt is ripped
and dangling from my shoulders, exposing my bra. My skirt is pushed up my thighs, and rucked up
around my hips, and I don’t have any underwear on. Fuck! I rack my brain trying desperately to
remember glimpses from last night, and when I finally do start to remember, I wish I hadn’t. I hold my
hand to my head. Okay, I just…I need to leave. I glance to my right, where Hugo is sleeping, breathing
heavily.
I tiptoe out of the bed and into his walk in wardrobe, taking one of his shirts from a draw before I
leave the bedroom and go to the bathroom down the hall.
I look like I’ve been thoroughly fucked. My hair is a bloody mess, and my dishevelled clothes are
unsalvageable. I take off the tattered shirt and drop it in the small bin. Hugo’s shirt smells of his wash
powder, and I take a deep breath of the material. My mind is racing through a thousand emotions right
now, but mainly I feel guilty and ashamed. I feel guilty that I slept with Hugo, and ashamed that I
allowed myself to go there with him again after I said I never would. I feel guilty that I slept with him,
when I’m seeing Alex, and I feel ashamed that I couldn’t control myself around him…again, and that
could mean the end of our friendship, because we can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep doing this! We’re
friends, but I can’t seem to restrain myself around him! He’s like crack to my hormones. I like to
pretend I’m impervious to him, but clearly I’m not.
I wash my mouth out with mouthwash quickly and drag my hair into a pony tail. I just need to get
out of here right now. I can’t face him. I need time to wallow in my own slutiness.
I manage to find my bag and shoes and creep out of the flat without waking Hugo up. Now I need
to go home and get rid of this hangover, which seems much worse for the whole weed smoking thing,
than usual. Then, I need to work out what the hell I’m doing with Hugo, because last night sure as shit
went past friendship.
I push the door of the flat open and dump by bag on the table by the door. George is sat on the sofa
cross legged, and wide eyed as he shovels spoonful’s of coco pops into his mouth. He eyes my t-shirt,
or rather Hugo’s t-shirt in that ‘I know what you did last night’ way of his. The tension in the room is
palpable, and George looks like he’s settled in for a good show. Standing across the room, leaning
against the breakfast bar, is Alex.
My stomach clenches hard, because I realise how I must look right now, dressed in Hugo’s shirt.
Shit.
“Hey, Alex. What are you doing here?” I struggle to keep the smile on my face, as my temples
throb.
He narrows his eyes at me, and for the first time since I’ve known him, he looks angry. He’s
normally so perfectly poised, it’s almost a relief to see that he can let go, even if it’s not in a good
way.
“I thought I’d take you for lunch, but I didn’t realise you already had plans.” Okay, that was
definitely a dig. Wait, lunch? I check the clock on the wall, it’s eleven thirty. Fuck this looks so bad
right now.
“I’m just getting in from last night. It ended up being a bit of a heavy one.” I explain. That familiar
feeling of shame washes over me, and my knees feel like buckling under the weight of it. I’m a
horrible person. I can barely bring myself to even look him in the eye. How do I even explain this?
What do I say? Is there even anything I can say? He won’t want anything to do with me anymore. No-
one wants to date a slut, and that’s exactly what I am.
“I can see that.” He says coldly. Shit.
“Where did you go hooker?” George asks. I know he’s trying to ease the tension, but that’s not
helping, seeing as I feel like a dirty hooker right now. I don’t even have underwear on for Christ sake.
I bite my lip as memories flash through my mind like a film on fast forward. Hugo ripping my knickers
to shreds, kissing me, fucking me with his mouth… I can feel a flush creeping up my neck. Shit.
“I had to go and meet my dad for dinner.” I say, trying to keep my voice level. His eyes meet mine,
full of understanding. George knows all too well what a prick my father is. Not only is he a
patronising dick, but he’s also homophobic, and very disapproving of George. Fuck him.
“Oh.” George whispers. “One bottle of vodka or two?”
I shrug. “Just one.”
“Huh, you look like you had two.” One and a joint.
I flick him the bird and he cackles.
I look at Alex again. “We need to talk.” He says.
I gesture with my arm towards my room, and he steps into the hallway. I don’t want to do this right
now, but what choice do I have?
I take a deep breath and go to follow him. “Good luck, sweetie.” George whisper shouts as I
leave the room. I muster a small smile and go to have what will inevitably be an awkward
conversation.

I close my bedroom door and turn to face Alex. I lean back against the door, not really wanting to
step any further into the room. I’m gripped in a panic, and the anxiety over rides my hang over. My
senses go on high alert. I hate confrontation, and I know that’s exactly what this is going to be, just
from the look on his face.
“You have to know how this looks.” He gestures to me as he paces in front of my bed. “You
socialise with him a lot, and now you turn up wearing his shirt, and looking like you haven’t slept all
night.” He cocks an eyebrow, waiting for my explanation.
His golden eyes hold my gaze in a way that has me wanting to turn and run from the room. Guilt is
eating at me. Do I tell Alex? If I do, I will lose him, without a doubt. Shit, I don’t know what to do
here. I mean, Alex and I are just dating right, which means that really, my drunken one night stand isn’t
any of his business yet. Oh, who am I kidding? Shit. I don’t want to tell him because I like him. I don’t
want to tell him because right now I feel like one of Hugo’s dirty whores, and Alex makes me feel
valued and wanted. I want to feel wanted. I don’t want him to walk away just because I had some
drunken fumble with Hugo. I know that lying to him is wrong, but for my own selfish reasons I just
can’t confess what happened between Hugo and I. I was drunk, I made a mistake. It won’t happen
again. End of.
“Hugo’s my friend.” I tell him.
He smiles humourlessly and looks away from me. “I see the way he looks at you, Molly. I’m not
stupid.”
I swallow heavily. “You have met Hugo right? He looks at all women like that.”
“Exactly. Forgive me for being slightly suspect if my girlfriend is hanging around with a guy like
that.” I don’t really hear what he says. All I hear is girlfriend. Do I want to be his girlfriend? I guess
that’s the natural progression when you date someone for a while. Shit, why now? This is so bloody
messy.
“Girlfriend?” I whisper.
 His eyes snap to mine and his eyebrows shoot up. “What did you think we were doing here?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know. I mean, you never said anything.”
“I shouldn’t have to. Do you not want that?” He asks. His expression is calm, but there’s a hint of
something in it. He’s anxious.
Do I want that? I like Alex. He’s perfect boyfriend material. I have no reason not to give things a
go with him. Oh, except the fact that I just fucked Hugo. Maybe this is what I need though, clear lines,
a future. So I answer him.
“Yes.” I tell him, because I can’t think of a good enough reason not to. That in itself should
probably make me say no, but I feel fragile and vulnerable right now.
A look of relief crosses his face as a small smile makes its way onto his lips. “So, Hugo?” He
pushes.
I frown. “I told you he’s a friend.”
“Did you sleep with him?” This is the moment. There are some moments in your life that are
pivotal, moments that alter and change the direction of your life. Moments that you will either look
back at and regret, or smile at. My stomach churns uneasily as the lie falls from my lips so easily, that
I start to seriously question myself.
“Of course not.”
His whole body relaxes a little. “Okay.” He breathes.
I almost want to cry, because he believed me so easily. He trusts me, and that trust is so
misplaced. He deserves better than me. He’s the good guy, and I used to think I was the good girl, but
now…now I don’t know what or who I am.
He drags a hand through his chestnut hair. There’s a pregnant pause, and I wait for his next move.
“Come here.” He says quietly. I close the distance between us. “Take the shirt off.” His voice is low
and rough, and it makes my skin break out in goose bumps.
I grab the hem of the shirt, pulling it over my head. His eyes skim over my bare skin, and my body
tingles under the heat in his eyes. He lifts his hands and grips my waist. His hands are so broad they
almost span my narrow waist.
“You’re beautiful Molly. I hate the idea of anyone else touching you.” He whispers. I’ve never
seen this side of him. He’s normally so polite, so controlled. I like this side of him. I like him taking
control, and trying to call the shots. It’s hot. His fingers caress the skin of my stomach gently. He treats
me like I’m precious. When he touches me it’s with reverence.
He traces his fingers up the centre of my stomach and between my breasts, continuing his path
until his fingers dance over my throat. My breathe hitches slightly, as his eyes meet mine. His eyes are
captivating, but up close, they’re hypnotic, gold flecked caramel. He grips my chin, running the pad of
his thumb over my bottom lip. I suck in a sharp breath as my chest suddenly feels like its being
squeezed in a vice.
Alex has never had this effect over me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m attracted to him. I always have
been. He’s always treated me like something delicate and pretty though. I hate to say it, but I like that
Hugo looks at me like he wants to rip my clothes off and fuck me like an animal. It’s primal and raw,
and it drives me wild. It allows me to break free of my self-imposed restraints. Hugo doesn’t treat me
like a good girl, because with him I’m not good. Alex makes me feel safe and loved, and important.
He treats me like I’m good, except right now, he’s not looking at me like a good girl who’s virtue he
needs to protect. He’s looking at me like he needs me in every way a man can possibly need a
woman.
I want this with him. I want his love and his safety. I want his good. I also need him right now. I
need to purge Hugo from my mind, and replace him with Alex. The need is so strong, it’s almost
painful. I feel as though Alex can absolve me of my guilt. I want to wipe the slate clean and start again
right now, to love him, and be with him.
I reach out and rest my hand on his chest, dragging my nails over the thin material of his shirt. My
eyes never leave his as my fingers work over the buttons of his shirt slowly, releasing them one by
one. I slide my hands over his shoulders, pushing his shirt down his shoulders. I bite my lip as his
broad chest is exposed. Alex is built like a rugby player, with wide shoulders and a narrow waist.
He’s not defined, but he’s toned and bulky. He makes me feel so fragile in comparison.
He wraps one hand around my neck, and the other around my waist. His fingers spread, covering
the small of my back. His touch is warm, and makes my skin tingle. He pulls me up against him, until
the bare skin of my torso is flush to his. His lips meet mine in a kiss that is both soft and hard. Teasing
and claiming. His tongue dances along my bottom lip, begging for entry. My lips part of their own
accord, and his tongue dives into my mouth as his fingers tighten on my neck. It’s a slow and sensual
assault that has my breath coming in desperate pants.
What starts out slowly, soon becomes desperate clawing, on my part at least. I feel as though I
have something to prove. To him. To myself. Who knows? I grab his belt and wrench it open. I pop the
button of his jeans and pull the zip of his fly down. I drag my nails over his lower stomach as my hand
dips below the waist of his boxers. I teasingly stroke my fingers over his hard cock. His head drops
back as a low moan escapes his throat. I lean in and kiss the corded muscles of his throat, before
grazing my teeth over his skin. I inhale the scent of his skin. Alex always smells so good, like fresh
laundry and cologne.
I wrap my hand firmly around him and grip his cock in my hand, moving up and down his length
slowly. He grips my waist and twists us until the backs of my knees hit the mattress. He lowers me
gently, and instantly covers my lips with his, as the heat of his body covers me. My legs instantly part
to accommodate his bulk. He leans on one elbow as the other cups my face. His lips are possessive
and demanding. He rears back, sitting up between my legs. His muscles flex and shift as he moves.
His hands skim down my sides, and over my hips, gliding over the material of my skirt. When he
reaches the hem, he slides his fingers underneath and slowly moves them back up my thighs, taking the
material with him. He’s about half way up my thigh, when I freeze. Shit, I have no fucking underwear
on!
“Wait!” I shout.
He stills, a frown line etching between his eyebrows. “You okay?” He asks carefully.
I nod. “I smell like a brewery.” I say quickly. “I really need a shower.”
He laughs. “You do not smell like a brewery.”
“You can join me in the shower if you like.” I say with a teasing grin. His fingers, which are now
gripping my thighs, twitch.
I manage to roll out from underneath his enormous frame, and jump up from the bed.
“Get naked.” I say, flashing a wry smile to try and cover the nervousness in my voice. That was
close. I turn and head into my en-suite, pulling the door to, but not closing it. I turn on the shower and
unzip my skirt, shoving it down my legs quickly. I manage to remove my lingerie in record speed. He
would never know I wasn’t wearing underwear. God, listen to me. I’m like some dirty slut, cheating
and covering it. No, this is a clean slate. I’m not that girl. I’m not the girl that strings guys along, or
carelessly fucks people over. I would sooner die than hurt anyone. The thing is, if I’m really honest
with myself, I don’t want to give up my friendship with Hugo, even though I know it has the ability to
damage what I have with Alex. Hugo has something I need. I don’t really know what it is. I thought
we were past the point of sexual possibilities. I mean, I’m attracted to him. Of course I’m attracted to
him. He’s Hugo for Christ’s sake. He pretty much defines sex. He wrote the fucking book on
seduction. Worse, he knows every button to push. No man has ever made me come like he can. That’s
all he is though. Sex. Mind blowing, incredible sex. Alex is more. Alex is good, and honest. Alex
wouldn’t fuck a whore in front of me to prove a point. Hell, Alex wouldn’t do half the shit Hugo does,
and that’s why I like him. He values me, and I want to feel valued. Who doesn’t?
I thought I had a handle on my attraction to Hugo. I thought I had more restraint than that. It
appears that with a little help from my dear friend vodka, I have fuck all restraint.
I brace my hand against the tiles of the shower cubicle, and lean my head back, letting the water
cascade over my face.
To make matters worse, I haven’t heard from my father this morning, which probably means I’m
disowned. My father loves power. He likes to keep me under his thumb, controlled. By walking out
on him, I’ve essentially just given the middle finger to his control. That means he will now have to do
something to remind me of that power.
I hear the shower door slide open and the cold air from outside rushes in to send goose bumps
over my skin.
I feel Alex’s big body, close to my back. His skin brushes against mine, barely touching me. He
places his hand against the tile, covering mine, and threading his fingers between mine. I drop my
head forward, so that the water rushes down my back, covering his chest. His hand skims my waist,
and I feel his lips brush just behind my ear.
“What’s wrong?” He whispers. Everything.
“Nothing.” I reply quickly.
He grabs my hips and spins me until my back is pressed against the cold tile. I gasp as my body
flinches against the cold.
“Molly, I may not know you that well, but I know when you’re not okay. I want you to be able to
talk to me.” And there he is, the caring, amazing guy who I’ve become so fond of.
I reach up and stroke his jaw, a small smile on my lips. “We’re not supposed to be talking.” I cock
an eyebrow at him. Before he can reply, I close the space between us and kiss him. His lips part
slightly, and I thrust my tongue into his mouth. His hands grip my waist as he presses his still hard
cock against my stomach. His fingers tense against my skin before he lifts me, as if I weigh nothing.
My thighs wrap around his waist, as his hips pin me to the wall. There’s something about having a
man the size of Alex between my legs that just sends my brain into a total meltdown.
He nudges at my entrance, and slides inside me slowly. He moves just an inch and then pulls back
out. He’s gentle, careful not to hurt me. I don’t want him to be gentle with me, I want him to slam deep
inside me. He brings one hand up and cups my cheek as his lips tease mine. His thrusts become
deeper, and I moan into his mouth. He groans and nips at my bottom lip.
I cling to his shoulders, as his deep thrusts dance the line of pleasure and pain. He’s not a small
guy, and it feels like he’s touching my cervix. It’s almost uncomfortable, but at the same time, it’s so
damn good. His thrusts are slow and measured, dragging over every inch of my sensitive flesh.
He incites a slow burn in me that he slowly stokes, until I’m burning up, clawing at his shoulders
and gasping.
He slides a hand between our bodies and brushes my clit. His body moves against mine, thrusting
and grinding in exactly the right spot, as his fingers work their magic. I cry out his name, and my
vision blurs and blacks out as I explode around him. A few thrusts later and his big body tenses
between my thighs before he growls into my neck.
 He drops his weight forward against me. The only sound is the cascading water hitting Alex’s
back, and our mingled heavy breaths. I rest my forehead against his shoulder. I feel like I need putting
back together after that. My head is so fucked up at the moment. I don’t know what I’m doing. My
heart, mind and soul feel torn apart and shredded.
He pulls back and strokes my face. I can feel his cock softening inside me, but he doesn’t move.
“Are you alright?” He asks. I nod. Honestly, I don’t know what I am any more. I probably should have
sent Alex away. I should have taken the time to pull my head together. Instead, I’m throwing myself
into Alex, as though that will magically make everything better.
He lowers me to the ground, and I lean against the wall on shaky legs. He takes the shower puff,
and squeezes some shower gel on it, before gently swiping it from my shoulder to my wrist. I let him
take care of me, because that’s what Alex does. He rubs shampoo into my hair and then carefully
washes it out, tilting my head back into the flow of the water.
I rub shower gel over his chest, getting distracted by the broad slabs of muscle covering his
frame. I glance up at his face to find his eyes fixed on my face. A small, contented smile pulls at his
lips.
“As much as I love spending time with you in the shower, I still want to take you out this
afternoon.” He says in a husky voice. “We should get out.”

I spend the afternoon with Alex. He’s his usual attentive self. We go for a walk around Hyde park,
and he buys me coffee from a little coffee shop in the park. I know I’m quiet. My guilty conscience is
eating me alive. He asks me several times if I’m okay, and I blow him off.
By the time I get home that evening, I can’t get away from him quick enough.
He walks me to my door, and kisses me, before turning away and walking back to his car. I watch
his broad shoulders as they twist to manoeuvre into the car.
I close the door to my flat and lean back against it, closing my eyes and blowing out a long breath.
“You look like you could do with a drink.” My eyes fly open at that seductive female lilt.
“Lilly?” I gasp. “What are you doing here?”
Her full lips pull up in a wry smile. She’s sitting on the sofa with George, a glass of wine in hand.
Her red hair is loose and wild as always. She’s wearing a hoody and a pair of jeans, and yet she
manages to look ridiculously hot.
“I got back this afternoon.”
She’s not due back for a few more days. I rush forward and she stands to greet me. I throw my
arms around her neck. I’ve felt lost without her. I always thought it was me keeping her on the straight
and narrow, but I seem to have been careening off the rails since she left. Her hair smells of cocoa
butter, her favourite shampoo. She wraps her arms tight around me and hugs me like only the kindred
soul that she is to me, can.
“George tells me that you’ve been keeping things interesting while I’ve been away.” She mumbles
into my shoulder.
I pull away from her and flash George a sharp look. He holds his hands up. “Babe, it’s true. I feel
like I’m watching a soap, a dirty three way kind of soap.” He wiggles his eyebrows.
“No George, in your gross mind, three ways may be happening, but in reality, definitely not.” I
move forward and sit on the edge of the opposite side of the corner sofa.
“So you’re not sleeping with both Alex and Hugo?” Lilly asks.
“No! You know I’m not!” I snap.
She smirks at George. “Told you. You owe me twenty quid sucker.”
 “So now you’re betting on my love life?” I ask, although I shouldn’t be surprised. It’s exactly the
kind of thing they would do.
“Um, I bet that you would never cheat.”
“Hey.” George interrupts. “She wouldn’t be cheating, she’s not with either of them.”
Lilly rolls her eyes. “Fine. She wouldn’t sleep with two guys at the same time.”
“Hugo and Alex at the same time, so fucking hot.” He says quietly.
“George!” We both yell at the same time.
“Jeez! Don’t shoot a guy for speaking the truth.” He grumbles.
“You are sleeping with one of them though right?” She asks. I haven’t spoken to Lilly since our
conversation a couple of weeks ago. She’s managed to send me the odd email, but apparently her and
Theo have been moving around, and flitting between Berlin, Rome and Paris.
“Yes. Alex. I told you, I wouldn’t sleep with Hugo.”
“Except last night.” George scoffs. “Well played by the way.” He adds, sipping his wine.
“No, not last night.” I say the words, but I know Lilly will see straight through it. Why am I lying
to them? Maybe I’m a passive liar now?
“Please.” George acts insulted. “I know just fucked when I see it. You don’t come in the next
morning wearing his shirt and an expression like that, unless he had you screaming his name. Plus,
you hang out with him way more than you hang with Alex…or me…hell, even Lilly.” Lilly’s
eyebrows shoot up. I try hard not to let my mortification show on my face, because screaming his
name is exactly what I was doing last night. Shit. “Oh yeah.” George says in response to Lilly’s
shocked expression. “Her and Hugo are tight. Don’t tell me that boy isn’t putting in that ground work
for no good reason.”
“I am not fucking Hugo.” I growl. “And Hugo doesn’t do ground work. He fucks and he moves on,
and if they won’t fuck him, then he just finds another one that will.”
Lilly leans forward, propping her elbows on her knees, and gripping her hands together in front of
her face. “So what’s the deal with him then? And where does Alex fit in? I need filling in. Tell me all
that I have missed.”
“Seriously guys, third degree much?”
“Hey, I have had a month of boring business meetings and only Theo for company. I like him and
all, but seriously, a month! Even the hottest guy can get boring after a month of their sole company.”
She complains. “And you forget, I know you. You’re lying, and I want to know why.” Yeah, she takes
no shit.
“Fine. I will tell you, but no judging!” I point at her and then George.
He holds his hands up. “Hey, no judging here!”
“Okay. Alex. Sex, hot sex, and…well, he kind of said this afternoon that he wanted to make things
official.” Lilly squeals before I can finish. She’s bouncing up and down on the sofa with a huge grin
on her face. She may well be Alex’s biggest fan. “Hugo is…my friend.”
Lilly waves her hand dismissively. “Hugo is Hugo. He’s everyone’s friend, until he realises he
can’t get in their pants.”
My eyes flick to Georges and I spot a flash of sympathy. “It’s not like that.” He says, shaking his
head. “He…cares about her. It’s weird. I can’t explain it.”
“Well try, one of you?”
I sigh. “He came with me for dinner with my dad yesterday.” I say quietly. Silence. I glance at
Lilly, whose eyes have gone wide. She knows all about my dad, and she knows how much I must trust
Hugo to have shown him something that honestly, I’m ashamed of. I hate that I allow my father to treat
me the way he does. I’m ashamed of the fact that I allow him to make me feel so shit.
“Why?” She whispers.
I shrug. “He offered.”
“Why?” She repeats, as I evade her question.
I sigh. “He just, he gets me. I never feel like I have to hide from Hugo. I never feel like I’m not
good enough. He makes me feel…good. Like I’m good enough.”
She nods, but says nothing. “I bet your dad shit himself.” George blurts, a smile pulling at his lips.
I smile back. “He didn’t realise who Hugo was, until he did, and then he just looked like an arse.
Hugo stuck up for me.” I shrug. “And afterwards he took me back to his and we got drunk…and
stoned.”
Both their eyes bug out. “What the hell Molly?!” Lilly shrieks. “Who are you and what did you do
with my best friend? You did drugs?!”
I frown. “Don’t act like you haven’t…”
“That’s me. You’re…”
“Good?” She nods. I laugh. “Maybe I’m not all that good.”
George tilts his head to the side dramatically. “It’s only a bit of weed Lill’s. You act like she’s
shooting up crack.” I laugh, because he’s so right. “Anyway, why were you wearing Hugo’s shirt this
morning?” He wiggles his eyebrows again, as a wide smile stretches across his face.
Shit. How do I answer that? I can feel the flush creeping up my neck and over my face. “Oh my
god!” Lilly shouts. “You just sat here and told me you’re not fucking him!”
“I’m not!” I defend. They both look at me with impatient expressions. “I don’t think. I can’t
remember anything. I woke up with no underwear on, and my shirt ripped open. I have a vague
memory, but…”
“Well, did you ask him?” Lilly says pointedly.
I sigh. “I left before he woke up.” I admit.
“Walk of shame!” George squeals. “Oh, let me get more wine, and then I want everything you can
remember.” George claps and scrambles off the sofa. He’s back seconds later with a new bottle of
wine and an extra glass for me. He pours out my glass and tops up his and Lilly’s. “Okay, and go!”
I take two big gulps of wine, and squirm under their probing gazes. “So, I got drunk, like a bottle
of vodka drunk…”
“Okay, so we will not judge anything that you now say. Vodka is the devil in disguise.” George
says.
“Amen.” Lilly confirms. “Not that we would judge anyway. I mean, hell, I’m just living
vicariously through you guys now.”
“I was stoned, and then….” I hold my head in my hands. “Then I was touching him.” Shit. I started
it! That makes this so much worse. I can’t blame it on the fact that Hugo is a whore.
“You remember the time I fucked that old dude, because I was stoned…” George says.
“Oh god, yeah. That was bad.” Lilly laughs.
“Same thing.” He says, waving his hand toward me. “Stoned out of my face. I swear he looked
just like George Clooney, turns out, he was just a middle aged balding guy. I almost puked in the
morning.” I laugh. The thing with George is, there isn’t much that I could do that he hasn’t already
done, and usually considerably worse. “So, no judging. What did you do?”
My face is red hot as I remember his mouth on me. Shit. “So, I came onto him, like big time.” I
stutter. Oh god, I don’t think I can say it. I take a deep breath. “Things got out of hand. He ripped my
shirt and my underwear, hence my lack of clothing this morning. I know he went down on me, and then
I can’t remember anything after that.” I blurt in a rush.
“Holy. Shit.” Lilly breathes.
“I have a boner.” George says.
“George!” She swats at him.
“Babe, he ripped her knickers off her. That is so totally hot. Admit it.”
She looks at me as if I’ve grown two heads. “Stop looking at me like that.” I whine.
“Sorry. Just…I wasn’t expecting that. I mean, you have a thing with Alex…”
“Neither was I!” I shriek. “I am beyond mortified.” I drag my hand over my face.
A phone starts ringing, and I look up to find George squirming around, trying to get it out of his
pocket. He glances at the screen quickly. “Oh, I have to get this. Sorry.” He jumps up and leaves the
room, heading towards the hallway that leads to the bedrooms. I hear his bedroom door shut a few
minutes later.
Lilly and I sit in silence for a minute. I don’t know what to say, and clearly neither does she.
Eventually, I can’t take it. “Lilly, at least say something.” I say. “You said you wouldn’t judge.”
She smiles apologetically. “I’m not judging sweetie, I’m just thinking.”
I roll my eyes. “You are so judging.”
“I’m not judging what you did.” She clarifies. “Sex is sex. It’s Hugo.”
I nod, because I totally understand. Lilly likes Hugo as Theo’s friend, but she can’t stand him
having anything to do with me. It’s not a double standard, simply that she thinks he’s not good enough
for me, and she feels responsible for bringing him into my life. After the whole hooker thing, she
never quite forgave him, even though I have. She thinks I’m being soft, and maybe I am, but she
doesn’t know what it was like while she was in that coma, and I would never tell her, because it’s the
last thing she’ll want to hear. Hugo and I, we bonded over something far deeper than just sex. Our
relationship changed completely over those two weeks. I saw a deeper side to him that I hadn’t seen
before. Lilly struggles to comprehend this change, because she didn’t see it happen.
“Hugo and I are just friends.” I repeat.
She cocks an eyebrow at me. “No, you’re not.”
I sigh. “Look, it was a moment of weakness. I’ll admit that I’m attracted to him. I can’t help it.
He’s just the bad boy that the good girl in me loves to rebel with, in the most drunken, stoned and
slutty ways possible.”
“Oh, you’re rebelling with him alright.” She laughs as she takes another gulp of wine. “Lesbians
and drugs…”
“Look it was a one-time thing. It won’t happen again. Especially now that Alex has shown his
hand.”
She nods. “Okay.”
“That’s it? Okay?” Lilly always has so much to say. That’s suspiciously easy response for her.
“I think you should give Alex a shot, like a real shot. He could be really good for you. George
says he treats you really well.”
I frown. “Yeah, he does, which is why I am giving things a go with him. Isn’t that what I just
said?”
“It’s not what you’re saying.” She watches me closely. “It’s what you’re not saying.”
 CHAPTER ELEVEN
HUGO
I haven’t heard from Molly for over a week. I’ve called her and texted her. I’ve had a couple of
texts back saying that she’s busy and she’ll hook up with me soon, but that’s it. Why she can’t just cut
me loose and get it over with I don’t know. She left my flat that morning without so much as a
goodbye. It’s not like I fucked for fucks sake. I’ve never had such blue balls in my life. There’s
nothing quite like eating a girl out, and getting so turned on you can’t see straight, only for her to pass
out. I thought my dick was going to drop off, I beat that motherfucker so hard. I didn’t even come on
her unconscious body, she should be fucking grateful.
Why do I even care? Fuck, since when do I get pissed because a girl leaves my flat and doesn’t
call me? I’m usually praying for that shit.
Maybe I should just stop bothering her. Maybe we just can’t be friends, I mean I do spend
approximately ninety percent of the time I’m with her fighting the urge to try and fuck her. It’s not her
though, it’s just spending that much time with a woman without having my dick inside her. My cock
can’t help but try and give me a push in the right direction.
I have no idea what the fuck this is, but I feel like I’ve lost something vital, something I didn’t
even know I needed.
Theo and I are currently sitting in the VIP section of Allure. Things have pretty much gone back to
normal, with him vowing not to work for the next six months. Apparently Rome was hard core.
Gaz got that chick knocked up, and is going to be a dad. He’s freaking out a bit, but he’s coping.
And I’ve been fucking my way through my fellow sex therapy patients. This week there was this
woman called Maggie, another big bird, but fuck me, that woman fucks like a race horse on narcotics.
Things are exactly the same as they were before, and yet…they’re not. I feel like something is
missing, and I don’t like it, so I’m drinking and fucking that feeling away.
A blonde woman is currently rubbing up against my arm. She’s wearing a short red dress and sky
high hooker heels. She’s hot.
Theo is sitting opposite me smirking. “Still got it I see?” He nods toward the girl.
I snort. “Dude, I’ll never lose it. Don’t you worry about that.”
He cocks an eyebrow and I know exactly what he’s thinking but isn’t brave enough to say. He
thinks I’ve become pussy whipped or some shit, like Molly has made me change or something.
In some ways I almost wish I could change for her, and if I were ever going to, she would be the
girl worth changing for. I’ll never change though, I couldn’t even if I wanted to.
 CHAPTER TWELVE
MOLLY
“I can’t believe Theo has let Hugo organise a stag do.” Lilly grumbles as she sips her coffee.
She’s been moaning about this for the last ten minutes. I don’t know what she thinks is going to
happen. Well, strippers. Strippers are going to happen. That’s a given.
I shrug. “Who else was going to do it? Let’s be honest, Hugo was pretty much born for this
moment. Fucked up debauchery is exactly his thing.”
She leans her elbows on the table and puts her face in her hands. “He’s going to kill him, or leave
him somewhere. I don’t even know where they’re going.”
“What he won’t tell you?” I laugh.
She lifts her head and glares at me. “No, Hugo won’t tell him where he’s taking him, and the
stupid fucker is just going to follow that liability of a ‘friend’ of yours to fuck knows where.” I don’t
miss the way she says friend, but I ignore it.
“Hugo is a twat, but he won’t do anything too awful.” I don’t think…okay, so he might.
Her phone vibrates on the table, and she picks it up, glancing at the screen.
“Damn, I have to go. Talk to that fucker, and when you do, tell him that if he loses Theo in some
foreign country I will kill him personally.” She points at me with raised eyebrows as she says it.
“Will do.” I wave her off absentmindedly. I don’t mention the fact that I haven’t spoken to Hugo
since the incident. I’m trying to play it off, pretend that it’s all fine, but I just can’t face him. I’m
mortified.
Anyway, she’s fretting for no reason. The guys will do whatever they want, whether she stresses
or not, and they sure as shit won’t listen to any threats from me. Well, Hugo won’t anyway. Theo may
do, simply for fear of having to spend way too much time with his hand otherwise.
She stands up, furiously typing on her phone as she goes. Lilly is pretty much always working.
The life of a solicitor.
“Bye babe.” She looks up from her screen and bends down to kiss my cheek, before leaving the
coffee shop in a flurry of red hair and expensive threads.
I check my watch. I still have another half hour of my lunch break, and I am not going back to that
hell hole one second before I have to, so I dig around in my bag and find my ipad. I haven’t had much
time to read lately, but I do love it. I like the raunchy romance books, where the love story is so
twisted that the characters were quite literally made for each other.
I’m right in the middle of a seriously hot shower scene when the chair beside me moves, and a
body drops into it.
“Sweetness.” His voice is rough and low, and I’d forgotten how much I love hearing it caress that
word. Every time he says it, it makes me act like a giddy girl. Now though, there’s a layer of
apprehension surrounding it.
“Hugo.” I look up from my screen at him. His eyes lock with mine and narrow. He looks pissed.
Great.
He throws one arm across the back of my chair, brushing the side of his body against my arm. I
lean forward slightly, trying to move away from his touch.
There’s an awkward tension between us. I left his flat over a week ago, and I haven’t seen him
since. He calls and texts. I keep blowing him off with excuses. I just can’t face him. He reminds me of
what a dirty slut I am. Just looking at him makes me feel cheap and nasty, because that’s what I am
around him. He says a few words and gives me a couple of drinks and I practically throw my knickers
at him, regardless of who I’m hurting in the process.
I like Hugo. He’s one of the best friends I’ve ever had, and he gets me in ways that even Lilly
doesn’t, but he’s toxic. He makes me feel free, but that freedom comes with a price, because all
actions have consequences. Hugo may act on a whim all the time, doing whatever he wants whenever
he wants, but I can’t be that person. I care about people other than myself, and how my actions affect
them. Did I want Hugo to kiss me in Allure? Yes, of course, but if Alex knew about it, it would hurt
him.
I don’t want to hurt Alex. He respects me. I’m not going to throw that away for a spark of passion,
because that’s all it ever is with Hugo, an explosive bright spark, and then before I know it he’s
moved onto the next girl.
I don’t know what is going to happen here.
“So…” I say, drumming my fingers on the table nervously.
He sighs. “Fucking hell Molly, will you stop acting like this is some big deal. It’s been nearly two
weeks. Seriously?”
I turn to face him. “This is a big deal.” His blue eyes search my features, before he drags his hand
over his face.
“No, you are making it a big deal. Fuck knows why.”
“Why?!” I practically shriek, before checking myself and lowering the volume. “You got me
stoned, and then I…we…had sex, and I’m with Alex. You are supposed to be my friend. It’s all
fucked.”
He raises both eyebrows at me. “Okay, drama queen. Firstly, we didn’t have sex. Secondly, I am
your friend, and thirdly, you’re with Alex now?” We didn’t have sex? We didn’t have sex! But we did
do other things.
“I remember certain things, but it’s hazy.” I admit.
He sighs. “Okay, so I’ll fill you in. I ate your pussy.” He practically fucks the words as he says
them, making my skin break out in goose bumps even though I suddenly feel like I’m on fire. “You
came, then you passed out.” A blush creeps over my cheeks. “And then I wake up in the morning and
you’re gone. I call you and text you. Nothing. That’s a bitch move, sweetness.”
“I…” I stammer. I don’t know what to say. “I didn’t know what to do. You and me, it’s just... I
can’t deal with whatever this is that keeps happening between us. We’re friends, but we get drunk and
have accidental encounters. Clearly this isn’t working.” My chest gives a little squeeze, because I
love being around Hugo, and I don’t want to lose him, but I feel torn.
“One time.” He argues.
“You kissed me in Allure, and then barely a week later that happens.”
He nods, keeping his eyes trained on mine. “Okay, so twice.” He chimes in.
“Twice that we’ve acted on it.” I correct, fuck knows how many others that I’ve wanted to but
restrained myself.
“You were drunk both times, and stoned the last. You cannot possibly be held accountable for
anything that you do whilst drunk. Everyone knows that.” He says confidently.
“And you? Were you drunk?” I whisper. Something crosses his expression, but it’s gone before I
catch it.
“I wasn’t as smashed as you, no.”
“So why did you do it?” I need to know.
“Uh, you have met me, right?” He smirks. He acts like he’s so care free, but I know him now. I can
see when he’s just pulling his bullshit to distract from the truth. He comes across as so uncomplicated,
but in truth, he’s one of the most closed off people I’ve ever met.
“Hugo, this is serious. I don’t want to be some cheap whore you think you can pick up and put
down.” I growl.
“Hey.” He grabs my chin and my skin tingles under his touch. His expression turns serious, all
humour gone. “Never.” His eyes are fierce as he speaks. “I would never treat you like a whore,
Molly.” He trails his thumb along my jaw and to my bottom lip. His eyes fix on my lips before they
darken into something so sinful I find myself unable to breathe properly. My blood feels like it’s
raging in my veins, and my skin suddenly feels too tight. His fingers on my skin send what feels like
an electric pulse over my body. Ten days. That’s how long it has been since I last saw him in person. I
think spending time with him most days built up my resistance to him, but now I have none. He
invades my senses in every possible way.
“Hugo.” I breathe.
His eyes lift from my lips to my eyes. “Yeah?” He looks calm, but his eyes are turbulent.
“You need to stop touching me.” I whisper.
He drops his hand away from my face and looks away, fixing his gaze on the table.
He clears his throat. “You said you’re with Alex now?” He doesn’t look up from where he’s
scrunching a napkin in his hand.
“Yeah, he said he wanted to make things official, so…” I trail off. Why does this conversation
feel so awkward?
He nods. “Good, that’s…he’s good for you.” I can hear nothing but the truth in his words. “So,
now you’re with him. There are clear lines. We can be friends. Everything is fine.” He glances
sideways at me.
I hesitate for a moment. Can we be friends? I mean, we’re not animals. I can fight my attraction to
him. “Yeah, I guess, we can be friends.” His face breaks into a beautiful smile. “But no more kissing,
or anything else.” I point at him.
He holds up his hands in surrender. “Okay. No more kissing.” I raise an eyebrow at him. “I
promise!”
I smile. “Okay.” He opens his arms, and I twist in my chair to hug him. His arms wrap around my
back, squeezing me tight as he buries his face in my hair. “I missed you.” I blurt.
“I missed you too.”
Clear lines. Yeah, right. The lines here are so blurred they’re ten foot fucking wide. I know this
and yet I can’t seem to do the right thing and just walk away from Hugo, not even for Alex.
 CHAPTER THIRTEEN
HUGO
“You’re going to Vegas?” Molly shrieks. I haven’t told her until now, approximately one hour
before we leave. She’s a shitty liar and I know Lilly will have grilled her.
“Ow, eardrums.” I grumble. “Yes, but it’s a surprise. You cannot tell Lilly either. I’m breaking the
sacred bro code here by telling you this.”
She crosses her arms across her chest and leans back against the headboard of my bed. She’s
petting Gary and watching me pack.
“I want to go to Vegas.” She says sulkily.
I laugh as I grab various items and shove them in the case. She rolls her eyes and gets up,
crawling across the bed and snatching things back out, before folding them and putting them back.
“I’ll take you to Vegas, sweetness.” I tell her seriously.
“Really?” She looks up at me, her blue eyes looking hopeful as a smile stretches across her lips.
My chest feels like a damn herd of buffalo are stomping all over it as I watch that smile.
“Of course.” I look away quickly and go back into the walk in wardrobe.
“So, what have you got planned for the stag do?” She asks.
I poke my head around the door. “It’s Vegas baby, you don’t plan, you wing it and hope that you
make it out alive.” I grin and wiggle my eyebrows at her.
“Okay, I didn’t hear that.” She sighs. “Lilly will hurt me if she finds out that I ever had anything to
do with your scheming. I’m so jealous you’re going.” She whines. I step out of the wardrobe and lean
against the door frame.
“Look, I’ll document it if you like. Send you pictures.”
“Okay, deal.” Oh, she’s going to get pictures alright. “And I’ll send you pictures of Gary.” She
smiles as she pats his head. Soft fucker is so into her it’s ridiculous. I can relate.
“If you dress him up and shit I will never leave him with you again.” I warn.
“Would I?” She feigns innocence. She bought him a fucking hoody. She already has a stash of
clothing for him. Not cool.
I check my watch. “I have to go sweetness. I need to be there to strap Theo onto the jet and make
sure he doesn’t bail like the pussy little bitch he is.”
“Sounds fun.” I zip the suitcase and wheel it into the hallway by the front door.
“Okay, you know what you’re doing with Gary?”
“Yep. Oh, and Hugo, do me a favour and try not to get Alex killed.” She tilts her head to the side
as she places her hand on her hip.
I smile. “No promises.”

Ah, Vegas. The place reeks of money, debauchery and shame. I love it. I pull my Ray-Ban’s over
my face as the setting sun glares off the glass windows of the airport.
“You brought me to Vegas?” Theo asks.
“Yeah we did.” His brother Will claps a hand over his shoulder. “Remember what you did to me
on my stag do?”
I laugh. “About that…” Theo starts. We might have got him so drunk that he went missing and
ended up in Prague with no recollection of how he got there. If this happened to me it would be fine,
but Will is as straight laced as they come, which just made it plain awesome.
“Oh no. I never thought you would get married, but payback’s a bitch.” He grins.
Theo turns to me. “Do not let him send me to Prague.” He points at me.
I laugh. “Prague is going to be tame compared to what I have lined up for you my friend.”

Have you ever been to a fight? Probably. Ever been to a midget fight? Didn’t think so. I’m not sure
why it’s so funny, but it just is.
The crowd are screaming for blood as the guy in the red shorts hammers the blue. I’ve got ten grand
on that little fucker, do he’d best bloody win. There’s small man syndrome and then there’s this guy,
who must be the angriest guy in history. He punches his opponent in the nose and blood goes
everywhere.
“It’s a good fucking job he’s not six foot!” Theo laughs, shouting over the crowd. He sways on his
feet as a bottle of beer gets launched across the room in front of us. Fists are waving, clasping notes
and beer bottles. It’s crazy in a way that only Vegas can be.
I turn around and spot Alex wedged between Will and Henry, one of our friends from Eaton. He
looks like a fish out of water. When Theo told me he’d invited him I kind of wanted to punch him. I
don’t like the guy. He’s too nice, too fucking good. And if it looks too good to be true, it usually is. Of
course Theo didn’t know where we were going. I could have warned the guy and told him this
wouldn’t be his scene, but honestly, any time I’ve seen him lately he hasn’t been all that keen to speak
to me. It’s almost an unspoken agreement between us now. We are polar fucking opposites and he
knows it. No point pretending you like someone who is clearly not your bag.
The crowd goes wild as the red guy knocks out the blue, and is declared the winner, putting me
fifteen grand up.
“Fuck yes!” I shout, grabbing Theo around the neck. He laughs as we sway drunkenly.
“To the poker tables!” He points toward the bookies booth where we collect money.
“Let’s double this shit!” I yell.

By day two my liver feels like it might fall out, and Theo isn’t looking too clever. I’ve pissed
over thirty grand on the tables in two days. Theo has just lost fifty in one game. In his defence, he was
beaten by a business-woman who looked like she might eat us both alive.
I’m consoling Theo by taking him to one of the best strip clubs on The Strip. The girls here are
fucking beautiful.
Henry, Will and Alex are sitting in a private booth, watching what can only be described as
fucking perfection sliding down a pole. Theo and I are at the bar.
“Jesus Christ, what I wouldn’t do to fuck her.” I say, watching as she spirals down the pole,
holding on with just her thighs. Her sparkly underwear catches on the lights, making her look like
some kind of apparition from heaven. She might just fucking be.
Theo smiles as he lifts his glass of whiskey to his lips. “I’d almost suffer the beat down Lilly
would give me for that.” He mumbles against the rim of the glass, gesturing toward the girl.
“Fuck off would you. She’d cut your nuts off and feed them to you.”
He cups his junk protectively. “Oh, I know.” He glances over to where the guys are sat. “Alex
looks terrified.” He snorts.
“He’s probably never seen a stripper.” I smile. Yeah, he’s that good, I wouldn’t put it past him. I
mean, seriously, the guy had never pulled an all nighter before Thursday night. How do you even
manage to go to Uni and not do that. It’s like a rite of passage or some shit. Hell, I was pretty much
fucking nocturnal when I was a student. Admittedly this might explain why I didn’t get into Uni, but
still…I did okay for myself. “He’s too good for that shit.” I mumble.
Theo rolls his eyes. “He’s really not a bad guy. I don’t know why you hate him so much.” He
pauses. “Actually, no, I do.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “Look at him, he’s just all; ‘I save lives.’” I put on my best pretentious
twat impression. He snorts, spitting scotch everywhere. “Dude, you are such a prick.” I wipe my hand
on his sleeve, as he laughs.
“I never thought I would see the day.” He says as he tries to catch his breath. “You are jealous.”
He grins like the smug bastard that he is.
“You forget my friend, I’m the guy that other guys are jealous of, not the other way around. You
used to be, but now…well, now you’re just a boring fucker. You won’t even have a crack at the
stripper.” I raise an eyebrow and start backing away from him towards one of the dancers working the
floor. “What happened to you man? You used to be cool.”

The rest of the night is a blur. I know there are lap dances and strippers. Alex and Will bail at one
in the morning. Pussies.
Theo, Henry and I go to a sparty. It’s basically a massive party in a swimming pool, but it’s an
anything goes kind of deal. We have Crystal, Ruby and Lola with us. Nothing makes a party like
strippers.
I lean against the side of the pool and sip a beer. Theo is next to me, his feet dangling in the water
as he lays on the tiled floor next to the pool in his boxers. He’s fucking trashed. Hell, I’m fucking
trashed.
The pool is rammed with people, some fully clothed, most butt naked like me. It’s a total tit fest in
here, and I’m pretty sure this pool is more bodily fluids and beer than actual water. People are
fucking in the corners and dancing to the heavy bass music as lights flash across the water.
“I can’t see.” Theo shouts. Ruby is sat on the other side of him, kicking her feet in the water. All I
can see is her massive fucking bare tits. I bite my lip as I pop wood. I feel a hand glide down my
body and drop below the water line to grab a hold of my cock. I turn to my left and meet the horny
gaze of Crystal. Her fingers slide up and down my cock.
“Wanna see how long I can hold my breath for?” She purrs in her southern accent.
She doesn’t even wait for me to answer as she moves in front of me and takes a deep breath,
sinking below the water. I feel her warm mouth engulf my cock and fucking hell. I grip the edge of the
pool as I pitch forward drunkenly. Her tongue works over my bell end as her fingers tickle my balls.
It’s a wonder she can even get below the waterline with that rack. Tits float you know?
I don’t know how long she can hold her breath, but long enough to make me come. I don’t know
whether that’s embarrassing on my part or fucking epic on hers.

I jump awake to a loud noise. The fuck? I squint an eye against the bright morning light, trying to
get my bearings. There’s a naked girl on either side of me, neither of which seem to be alive. The
noise repeats, and I realise it’s the hotel phone.
I fumble around on the bedside table and pick it up. “Hello.” I croak.
“Mr Harrison?” I bright female voice asks.
“Yeah?”
“There is a gentleman in reception for you. He is unconscious, but he has your name and room
number written on his forehead.” The thing about Vegas is no matter how ridiculous something is, the
hotel staff are always super professional, because they’ve seen it all before. I have no idea who it is
though.
“What does he look like?” I grumble.
“Um, dark hair, tall, attractive.” She stammers.
“Ugh, can you get someone to bring him up here?” I groan. I can’t move right now.
“Of course, sir. Have a good day.” Americans, such polite people. Can you bring an unconscious
unknown person to my room? Yep, have a good day.
I glance at the bedside table to check the time. It’s eight thirty in the fucking morning. Ugh! I
shouldn’t be fucking conscious right now. I quickly forget how horrified I am over the time though
when my eyes focus on the object next to the clock. There on the bedside table is a massive fucking
strap-on. I nervously look over the girls led on either side of me, and my memory starts to throw
flashbacks at me. Really fucking good flashbacks. A mouth wrapped around my cock, sucking my
balls. I’ve never actually met a girl who could get two balls in her mouth at once. I have now, but I
can’t remember her name. Looking at that strap-on, I think I really should have remembered. Either I
had the most epic threesome of all time, or I got royally violated. One I really really want to
remember, and the other just makes me want to go kill myself. I mean, I’m all for a cheeky finger, but
fucking hell, that thing looks like a battering ram. I clench my arse cheeks a bit. Surely I’d be feeling
that shit?

There’s a knock on the door, and I crawl over the unconscious bodies to answer it. I open it, and
standing there is a semi-conscious Theo and a guy in a suit who looks like security propping him up.
He clears his throat, and makes a very concerted effort to look at my face. I glance down. I’m naked
and I have an erection. Well, this is awkward. I take Theo’s arm and pull it around my shoulders,
guiding him into the room. The guy wordlessly closes the door and leaves.
Fuck me, he weighs a tonne. I dump him on the sofa and have to prop myself against the wall for a
second as the room starts to spin.
“Put your cock away.” He grumbles, as he tries to cover his eyes. He has no shoes on and is
wearing his jeans, t-shirt and a glittery bra. The fuck? He also has written on his head in thick black
writing:
Return to Hugo Harrison. Room 214. The Venetian. Vegas baby!!
“Dude, where the fuck were you?” I keep my voice low. I’m walking the line of being drunk and
having a hangover.
“I don’t know.” He mumbles with his arm thrown over his face. “Around.” In other words he
can’t remember.
I walk over to the bar and make a short glass of whiskey, necking it quickly. I wince as it burns
it’s way down my throat. I’d rather be pissed than hung over. I make another one and take it to Theo.
He sits up and downs it. Literally five fucking seconds later he throws up, all over the carpet.
Oh god, I can’t deal with this shit. I ignore it and crawl back into the bed, shoving one of the girls
over on the bed.
I can hear Theo groaning from the sofa, and the room fucking stinks of sweaty bodies, sex and
vomit. I don’t care right now. I can’t fucking function this early in the morning. I can’t remember what
the fuck happened last night and I need sleep before we fly back this afternoon. So I leave him to
possibly die of alcohol poisoning.

“What the fuck?!” I groan and roll over as someone starts cursing loudly.
 There’s a thud, thud, thud as said person stomps across the room. I drag my eyes open and squint
at a bollock naked Theo.
“Ah, dude, put that away.” I hold my hand up shielding my eyes from that shit. Oh, that’s nasty.
“Look at my fucking dick!” He shouts. One of the girls stirs beside me.
“I am not looking at your dick. What the fuck is wrong with you?” I rasp. My throat feels like the
bloody Sahara.
“I have a tattoo on my dick!” Okay, so now I look.
I sit up and twist my head to the side to read the letters tattooed up the length of his junk. Lilly.
“Oh, fuck.” I laugh, falling back on the bed.
“This is fucked up dude.” He stands there with sharpie still on his forehead and his dick out
which is bright pink and covered in black ink. “It fucking hurts!”
“I’m surprised they didn’t cling film it.” I muse. Now that would have been funny.
“You’re funny.” He is not happy. “Lilly is going to kill me.”
I close my eyes and roll over. “She should be grateful, I mean, that’s fucking commitment right
there.”
“Wait, what is that?” He points at me.
“What is what?” I open one eye.
“On your chest.” I pull away the sheet and reveal a fucking tattoo on my right pec. Oh hell no.
“What does that even say?” He leans in close trying to read it.
“Crystal.” The girl on my left croaks, sitting up and stretching. “It says Crystal.”
“Who the fuck is Crystal?!”
She smiles and cocks an eyebrow. I won’t pretend I’m not looking at her tits, because I am.
“That.” She points at the other girl. “Is Crystal.”
“Dude, why have you got nipple tassels on?” Theo asks.
“How the fuck should I know?” I’m more concerned with the fucking tat all across my chest. Well,
I’ll never forget that one’s name, that’s for sure.
“I think we should go home.” Theo says.
For once I’m inclined to agree with him. A four day bender is one thing, but a four day Vegas
bender? That’s a whole new ball game.
 CHAPTER FOURTEEN
MOLLY
Alex and Hugo have both been gone for three days. It’s weird not having either of them around,
and yet they’ve both been texting me regularly.
I can’t believe they went to Vegas. I mean, really? Vegas. The only word that comes to mind is
carnage.
Alex sent me a text this morning: Hey babe. Just woke up. I now know what a real hang over feels
like, this is an education. Xx
I can just imagine the education Hugo is giving him.
Hugo on the other hand, has text me four times this morning, and by this morning, I mean before
five. The first was at one in the morning, and it was a picture of his cock captioned ‘Rambo on tour.’
Lovely. The second came an hour later and was a picture of him with a topless dancer. She was
wearing the most glittery pants I’ve ever seen, and was topless. He was wearing the matching glittery
nipple tassles, and Theo was wearing the bra. The third was a few hours later, and it was a picture of
Theo passed out with Hugo’s name and a room number written on his forehead in sharpie.
The final text wasn’t a picture.
Sweetness, I miss you. Xx
God damn it, my heart squeezes so hard as I read over that text. I miss him too, and it’s fucking
with my head. Don’t get me wrong, I miss Alex, but with Hugo, I feel like the colour has been drained
from my world just a little. It’s not that Alex is lacking or anything like that, it’s just…Hugo. He walks
into a room, and makes people happy. He never fails to make me smile, no matter what mood I’m in.
It’s what he does. Funny that you can have everything in the world, but all any of us ultimately want is
to be happy. You can’t put a price on that.
As much as he’s a dick ninety percent of the time, he cares in his own weird way. I don’t want to
see pictures of his cock particularly, but I know what he’s doing. I was bitching at him the day before
he left, because I’m jealous. I want to go to Vegas! He said he would document it, and it would be
like I was there. I swear to god though, if he films himself fucking some dirty hooker I’m disowning
him.
Lilly has been going nuts, because she hasn’t heard from Theo. I got a text when they got there,
saying that Hugo had confiscated his phone so that he couldn’t be ‘a pussy whipped little bitch.’ His
words not mine.
“Why is it that Theo can’t have his phone and yet Hugo is texting you non-stop. Who’s the pussy
bitch now?” She cocks an eyebrow at me and I have to try hard not to laugh. Boy, is she pissy today.
At least Theo will be back tonight, and then she can stop being a crazy bitch. I never thought I would
see the day when my man eating best friend would get so irate over a guy. It’s cute.
“Because Theo is the stag? Anyway, at least you know he’s okay. I have two guys on the inside.”
She smirks. “I wonder how that’s going with Hugo and Alex.” She muses. I’ll admit I wasn’t
thrilled at the prospect of them going to Vegas together, but Theo likes Alex, they’ve become pretty
friendly. I want them to get on, and I love that he’s been so easily accepted into the group. I know that
Hugo would never say anything to him, but my guilty conscience is feeding my insecurities. I don’t
know that I’m even that worried about Alex knowing, but I can’t bare for him to look at me like I’m
some dirty slut.
“I’m sure they’re fine.” I say as I skim over the magazine in front of me. It’s Sunday and its sunny,
so we’re hanging out in the park, attempting to get a tan. I suggested a picnic, but Lilly came armed
with a bottle of Pimms, apparently that’s all the sustenance she needs. I brought Gary along, and he’s
loving the sunbathing idea. I’m staying with Lilly whilst the boys are away. Even George got an
invite, but he couldn’t go because he had some big audition. I volunteered to have Gary, because
otherwise he was going to have to stay with Maria, and she hates him. He owes me.
“Molly I love you, but you cannot see the wood for the trees sometimes.” She pulls her sunglasses
onto her face and lays back on the blanket. “I mean, Hugo has texted you how many times already?”
I shrug, trying to blow her off. “Lots.”
She leans up on her elbow and tilts her head forward, making her sunglasses slide down her nose.
Her green eyes latch onto mine. “More than Alex, your boyfriend. Hugo has a thing for you.”
I laugh. “Hugo has a thing for anything with a vagina.”
“Don’t do that.” She cuts me off, waving her finger around. “Don’t act like the way he is with you
is normal. I don’t see him going to get his nails done with other girls, or grovelling because he fucked
up. He doesn’t care that he fucks up Mole, he defines fucked up. So why does he care when he fucks
up with you?” I don’t say anything, because I have nothing. “I mean you don’t even fuck him for
Christs sake, and that is pretty much Hugo’s sole requirement in a woman.”
“I don’t know. We’re just different. We’re friends, and he would probably fuck me given half a
chance.”
She sighs. “You are so far into this denial that you can’t see what’s right in front of you.”
“Fine.” I huff. “Enlighten me.”
“You are in love with Hugo.”
I half choke, half laugh. “No, I’m not.” It’s an instant reaction to deny it, but even to my own ears
my voice sounds shaky.
She lays back down on the blanket with a wry smile. “I know you better than I know myself,
Mole. You don’t want to love him, but you do.” She states bluntly. “I bet you miss him right now?”
“He’s my friend.” I say defensively. “I miss Alex too, because I love Alex.”
She rolls her eyes. “Please. When you were fucking him all I ever heard was ‘it’s just fun’, and
now it’s ‘we’re friends’. I’m not saying you should do anything about it, in fact definitely do not do
anything about it. I just don’t think it’s healthy that you spend so much time with him when you’re
actually with Alex. I know you love Alex, and you guys have a real future. It will never go anywhere
with Hugo, and that incident the other night? Shit like that will keep happening because secretly you
want him, you just can’t admit it to yourself.”
“I… it’s not like that. That was a drunken mistake.” I start to panic at the thought of having to cut
Hugo out of my life. Things are complicated with us, and twisted sometimes, but he makes me happy.
“So you’re telling me that you and Hugo are completely platonic?” She says calmly.
“Yes.”
“Even though you used to fuck him, and let’s be honest Mole, you only stopped because you
caught him with a hooker.”
“Yeah, but…”
“When you knew all along that he was a dog, and that it had no future.”
“It was just…”
“Fun, I know.” She cuts me off.
“He fucked you over once, and now he’s doing it again, just in a different way. You risk ruining
everything with Alex for him. Is he worth it?”
I know the answer should be no, and the reason it isn’t no…is because I’m in love with him, and I
would do anything to keep him in my life. Shit!
She sits up and threads her fingers through mine, her expression suddenly serious. “I say this
because I care about you. You’re not like me Molly. You love hard, and without caution. I envy you
for it, but I worry for you.” She looks at me, her eyes softening. “He hurt you once, and I don’t want to
see it happen again.” She whispers. “Alex is good for you, and he loves you.”
I can’t respond. My mind is trying desperately to reject what my heart is telling me, because I
don’t want to be in love with Hugo.
“I’m in love with Hugo.” I whisper numbly.
She cups my cheek, her warm palm stroking over my face. “We always love the bad boys babe,
we can’t help it.”
I wish so much right now that I could help it.

The boys are back today, and my stomach is in knots. Funny how four days can suddenly change
everything. When they left I thought I was waving off my boyfriend and my friend, but now…now I
don’t know who is what to me. Poor Alex is stuck in the middle and I feel like the world’s shittiest
person. Jesus, does this count as an emotional affair or something? Oh, wait, I let him go down on me,
so nope, it’s just a full blown affair. Great.
I can only see one way out of this. One way in which no-one gets hurt…except me.
I text Hugo and ask to meet with him. I don’t know what I’m going to say to him, but this warped
friendship we have needs to end. He’s like a shot of heroine to my mundane life, and I hang onto that
excitement he provides like a fucking junkie. I will always be just that to him though, mundane, the
good girl. This isn’t healthy for anyone. He has nothing to lose, but I have everything to lose, because
against all the odds I do love Alex as well. I didn’t know it was possible to love two people at once,
but I can tell you that to lose either of them would hurt me.
I have tried to cut Hugo out so many times, and every time he just fights his way back in. The only
way to permanently damage this is for him to reject me, because I don’t have the will power to keep
my distance from him.

My hand shakes as I reach for the call button. He doesn’t pick up, just releases the latch for the
front door. I climb the single flight of stairs, coaxing Gary up every step. The poor bugger is
knackered by the time he reaches the top. I don’t even get a chance to knock before the door swings
open and he scoops me up into a hug. My body almost sighs as it moulds against his, preening at his
warm touch, and inhaling the familiar scent of him. Everything about him reminds me of happiness, of
earth shattering orgasms and hours of laughter. Why do our minds do that? Why can’t I remember what
it felt like to walk in on him with a hooker? Why can’t I just see that however I may feel about him, he
probably fucked every hooker in Vegas over the last four days?
I steel myself and push away from him, keeping my eyes fixed on Gary. He releases me, and pulls
me into the flat.
“Did you miss me?” I’m about to say something, when I realise he’s talking to Gary who is
wiggling around and grunting at my feet. He pats the big dog on the back, and he shuffles off into the
flat, his lead trailing behind him.
“Do you want a drink?” He asks.
“Um, water please.” I’m not thirsty, but I just need the few seconds that it will take him to get me
some water to compose myself. In the last twenty four hours I have gone backwards and forwards
over this situation, and I still don’t know what I’m going to say to him.
 He moves into the living room and I follow him as he goes into the kitchen. I watch as he reaches
up and grabs a glass, his t-shirt lifting with the movement and exposing a strip of his toned stomach
and the small tattoo on his hip bone. I swallow hard as my pulse picks up. Fuck. I need to get it
together and stop looking at him like a fuck doll.
I back out of the kitchen and end up hovering in the doorway. Gary has made it onto the sofa and
has now passed out.
“Here you go.” I turn around at the sound of his voice.
“I need to talk to you.” I say quickly.
He raises an eyebrow. “Okay.”
He leans against the door frame, crossing his arms over his muscular chest, and straining the
sleeves of his t-shirt. He looks good. Too good.
I don’t know what to say to him. I know what I feel is stupid, and I know that this will change
nothing, but I need him to know. We’ve done this dance before, I push him away, or he pushes me
away, but we always seem to get pulled back to each other. I can’t keep getting sucked back in. It’s
not fair. I need to hear him reject me once and for all. I want my stupid heart to catch up with my head
and realise that Hugo will never change. I will never be anything more than a bit of fun to him. I need
him to walk away from me, because I can’t walk away from him, and my feelings for him are
jeopardizing any future I might have with Alex.
Alex. He deserves so much better. He deserves the world. I’m a horrible person.
“I need to talk to you.” I manage to stammer.
He nods. “You said that already.”
“Uh, yeah. Sorry.” God, why is this so fucking hard? Just say it already! “Okay, I’m going to tell
you something. It doesn’t mean anything okay? Don’t break out in hives, or catch AIDS because you
decided to go and fuck three hundred hookers in an attempt to purge this from your mind.” I start.
“Okay, now I’m scared.” He smiles.
“Okay…” Shit. Breathe! “I love you.” Oh fuck, I think I’m going to be sick.
 CHAPTER FIFTEEN
HUGO
“I love you.” She blurts it so quickly, I’m not sure I heard her right, but the look on her face tells
me that’s exactly what she just said. She’s gone sheet white, and she looks how I feel.
“You love me?” I say slowly, playing the words over. She nods, pressing her hand against her
stomach, as though she’s trying to hold herself together. She can’t love me. That’s ridiculous. Why the
fuck would she love me? I don’t even know what love is. I feel like I’m right back in my living room
six months ago, when she told me she liked me. Every thought I had then, I’m having now. She’s too
good for me. Why the fuck have I allowed her to think that it’s okay to like me, and now to love me?
“But…we’re friends.” I say numbly.
“I know, and I wish I didn’t feel this way, because it complicates that.”
“But, Alex?”
She nods, flicking her eyes downward. “I love him too, it’s just different.”
“Molly, I can’t…” I start.
“I know.” She offers me a small smile. “I know. It’s selfish of me to tell you this, because I know
you don’t feel the same way, and you never will. You aren’t programmed that way, and I’m…well, I
just am. That just makes us different.” Her voice is soft and soothing. Whenever I’m away from her
for long periods of time, I forget how much I miss it. I’m not programmed that way, and I don’t love
her, but I care for her, too much.
“I can’t offer you anything.” I say. She nods her head, keeping her eyes trained on the floor as she
swallows heavily.
“And I’m not asking for anything, but this changes things. I can’t hang around with you all the time.
I can’t…I can’t be your friend.” My throat tightens as I take in what she just said. Over the last couple
of months, Molly has become one of my best friends. I don’t want her to walk away from me. “It’s not
fair to Alex.”
Alex, just the sound of his name has me clenching my fists. She’s walking away from me for him.
I fight back the anger and take a deep breath. “Alex is good, and we both know I’m not good
enough.” I nod.
She shakes her head, and gently cups my cheek. “You’re wrong.” She whispers, a sad smile on her
beautiful face. She drops her hand and steps back, putting distance between us again.
I shake my head. “You just want to see good that isn’t there.”
I do what needs to be done, and I set her free. Free from me, and free from her misplaced feelings.
“You’re one of my best friend’s sweetness, but I’ll never love you like that.” I say casually. I
watch the hurt ripple across her face and it fucking kills me to put it there, but this is the only way. I
fucked a hooker in front of her and she still forgave me, because that’s what Molly does, she looks
past that shit and accepts it. This is different though, I can feel it. Love is a whole new ball game. She
just held out her heart to me and I spat on it. I hate the thought of losing her, but it’s selfish to try and
keep her, when she feels the way she does. Alex can offer her everything I can’t. “I’m so sorry
Molly.”
She sniffs a little. “No, it’s okay. It’s okay. I knew that. You haven’t told me anything new.” She
draws in a deep breath. “I guess I’ll see you around.”
I should let her walk away now, but I don’t. I pull her to me and hold her in a tight hug. “I’m so
fucking sorry.” I whisper to her. Her body shakes as a small sob breaks free. If I have a heart, then it’s
fucking bleeding for her right now. I’ve hurt the only woman, possibly the only person I have ever
truly cared about. The only saving grace is that I do this to protect her, because I know that in a few
months from now she will be happy in ways that I could never make her.
She pushes me away gently. “Goodbye, Hugo.” She whispers, before she turns away and walks
out.
 CHAPTER SIXTEEN
MOLLY
I stagger out of Hugo’s apartment, onto the street outside. My chest feels so tight, I can barely
breathe. Pain ripples through my torso, and I choke on a sob, pressing my hand over my mouth to try
and stop my imminent breakdown. Don’t fall apart now, Molly.
I’ve experienced heartbreak before, but this is something else, something far worse. I’ve lost so
much more than my mind can possibly comprehend. Hugo has become one of my best friends, and I
just lost him because I was too selfish to just let it go. I wanted something from him he was never able
to give. I knew he could never give me anything more than friendship and yet I told him I loved him
anyway. Why? Because the stupid little girl in me couldn’t help but believe that maybe, just maybe he
would change for her. He won’t, and now I know that¸ but at what cost?
Could we have continued on as friends, me always pining for him, and him continuing to fuck his
way through half of London? I know we couldn’t, and I know I have more respect than to stand by and
watch that, but right now, my heart hurts. Right now, I would endure and suffer just to keep him in my
life.
This is what love does to people. This is what he does to me. He makes me want to suffer and
bleed for him, because I love him. Fuck! How did I fuck this up so badly? Who the fuck falls in love
with the biggest man whore on the face of the earth? Oh, that’s right, me.
I walk down the road, until I reach George’s red Jeep, which I parked here earlier. As soon as I
close the door behind me, a tear streaks down my cheek. I swipe at it, and glance at my reflection in
the rear view mirror. The dim interior light reflects off my watery eyes. I look as fragile as I feel, and
I feel as if a giant gaping hole has been punched through my chest. I feel like something is missing and
irreplaceable. I hurt for Hugo, because he will continue through life, and never know what it is to
love someone. I hurt for myself, and my silly childish dreams. I also hurt for Alex, because he does
love me, and yet here I am feeling utterly destroyed over another man.
If love were rational, then Hugo wouldn’t even be a factor. Alex would be more than enough.
Unfortunately for me, love is far from rational. I have the splintered heart to prove it.
I look away, and turn the key in the ignition. The little car coughs to life, and I pull out into the
steady traffic. The lights blur as my eyes water. I bite my lip and turn up the radio, blasting rock music
into the car. I will not fucking fall apart. I’m better than this.
I manage to maintain that, until I step inside my flat and find Lilly waiting anxiously for me. She
takes one look at my face and rushes toward me, wrapping me in her arms. I lose it and break down
right there.
“Shh, it’s okay, Mole.” I literally cry on her shoulder. “It’s okay.” She repeats, holding me tight.
A couple of hours and three bottles of wine later, and it is okay. Sort of. At least I’m not crying
any more.
“He does love you in his own way.” Lilly says, her big green eyes full of concern.
I take another gulp of my wine. “He said he will never love me. It’s okay though. I should have
known better. You warned me Lill’s.” I laugh humourlessly. “How many times have I given you
‘sensible’ advice? Shame I can’t follow it myself.”
She smiles sympathetically. “No-one ever does. Hell, I didn’t. What is it with us and unsuitable
men?”
“Hugo redefines unsuitable.”
 “There isn’t even a word for Hugo.” She agrees.
“Just, why? Why him? I must either be fucking stupid, or completely masochistic.” I groan.
“You’re human Molly. And you’re good, too good. You see the best in people always. It’s what
makes you so awesome.” She smiles, rubbing her hand over my arm.
“He said something similar. He said that I want to see good that isn’t there. God that’s so
desperately bloody sad. I need another drink.” I huff.
“Okay, drink I can do.” She hops up off the sofa, and goes into the kitchen. When she comes back
she’s holding a bottle of raspberry Belvedere. Good, I need something strong right now.

The next few days pass slowly. Time always seems to pass slowly when you’re miserable. It’s
like life is just mocking you. Amongst all the feelings swirling around me right now, guilt is very
much at the fore front.
I’ve been avoiding Alex for the past three nights, making up excuses as to why I can’t see him.
The problem is that I can’t look at him and not compare him to Hugo. I should really talk to him. I
should tell him that I love Hugo. I should tell him that he could do better, but I’m too selfish. I love
him. It may not be the same as the way I love Hugo, but I do love him, a lot. I can’t bear to lose him
right now. I know that makes me a horrible person. I can’t face him. I feel like he’ll take one look at
me and see what a vile individual I really am. Heartbreak is hard enough to deal with, but paired with
the guilt and the self-hatred…I’m drowning under the weight of it all. I just want everything to
disappear.
 CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
HUGO
I tilt the bottle of Grey Goose back and take three long swallows. I then take a long drag of the
joint that I bought off some kid outside the club. I just need to be fucking wasted right now. I don’t
want to think, I don’t want to feel. I just want to get fucked up. The intercom buzzes loudly. I groan
and stagger to the door to get it.
“Hugo.” The husky female voice purrs. I buzz her in without saying a word, and stagger back to
the sofa.
I hear her push the door open, and the clicking of her high heels across the wooden flooring. She
saunters into view, all long legs and long blonde hair. Elaina. She’s one of the best hookers I’ve ever
had, although I haven’t used her for a while. She’s so good, she’s a little addictive. At ten grand a
night, she was costing me a fucking fortune.
I have absolutely no shame about using a hooker. Hookers are just quality assurance. Like
anything in life, you get what you pay for.
“You look worse for wear.” She says in that sexy as fuck voice of hers. Elaina was made for sex,
her body, her voice, everything about her makes a man hard in seconds.
“You look over-dressed.” I say, taking another drag of the joint.
She shrugs and reaches around to unzip her dress. It falls to the floor, revealing her flat stomach
and perky tits. She’s wearing white lace underwear, and it just screams innocence, which is fucking
irony at it’s very best. I hold out the joint to her and she takes it. She places it between her full lips
and sucks on it in a way that is nothing short of fucking perfection. She doesn’t hand it back to me, but
saunters forward, swaying those full hips with every stride, and cloud of smoke billowing around her.
When she reaches the sofa, she flicks her hair over one shoulder and straddles me, a knee on
either side of me, her knickers level with my face. The drinking, the smoking, this position…my mind
flashes to when Molly had me in this exact same position only three weeks ago. I reach out and grab
her around the waist. Her skin is soft and warm under my fingers. I cup her full tits, but it feels wrong.
My mind is trying to break through the stoned fog, comparing, always comparing everything to her.
“Get on your knees.” I growl.
Her lips kick up slightly as she obliges, sliding off the sofa between my knees. I stand up and
unfasten my belt and fly, pulling my trousers past my hips. She smiles wide as my erection becomes
level with her face. She looks up at me through her lashes, her big blue eyes portraying an innocence
that I know she doesn’t possess. This is what makes her so good. No-one wants a whore who is
clearly a whore. It takes the fun out of it. She grips me around the backs of my thighs, her nails digging
into my skin. She places a gentle kiss on my dick, and flicks her tongue over my bell end. When she
gets no reaction, she goes in for the kill sucking my dick into her mouth, until it touches the back of her
throat. My hand flies to her head, holding her in place as she sucks on my cock. She pulls back
slowly, and I swear to fucking god, the girl could suck a golf ball through a garden hose. One of her
hands leaves my thigh and cups my balls massaging gently. I watch as her blonde head bobs up and
down over my cock. I’m telling myself that the reason I called Elaina is because she’s good, but I
know that the reason I called Elaina is because she looks just like Molly, hell, they could be fucking
sisters. With her hair over her face like this, she might as well be Molly.
Seconds later, I’m reminded that she is definitely not Molly. She pulls away, and sucks her index
finger into her mouth, before pulling it out, slowly and seductively. She then goes back to sucking my
cock like the pro that she is. I feel her cup my balls and then move further back, her fingers teasing
and caressing. Her finger brushes against my arsehole, and my cock twitches in excitement. I know
exactly what she’s going to do, and I know how fucking good it’s going to feel. She teases again,
before pushing just the tip of her finger in my arse. She twirls her tongue across the head of my cock,
and fists the base with her free hand. Everything starts building, her finger works just a little deeper,
and she sucks me even harder.
Her hand works up and down my length, and her tongue swirls and flicks continuously. She pushes
her finger fully inside me at the same time as she slams her mouth down all the way, deep throating
me. I release a hoarse shout as I come like a fucking bull, wave after wave, and she swallows
everything I give her. She pulls her finger out of my arse, and I whimper slightly, as my body trembles
again.
She flashes me a seductive grin, and licks her lips. Innocent my fucking arse, literally. I collapse
back onto the sofa, my muscles shaking and twitching like I’m having some kind of fit. She stays
where she is, looking totally unfazed. Her lipstick hasn’t even smudged. If she wasn’t a whore this
would be extremely embarrassing.
“You done already, baby?” She coo’s at me, he lips pouting, like I’ve just ruined her fun. I have a
moment, a brief moment of resentment, where I wonder what the fuck I’m doing. Why the hell am I
here with a hooker I don’t give a shit about? Fuck that.
I manage to heave myself upright from my slumped position on the sofa. I reach over her shoulder
and grab the bottle of Grey Goose, and take several deep gulps.
“Get naked, and bend over the arm of the sofa.” I tell her, throwing the now empty bottle of Goose
on the floor. She shrugs and stands up, taking several steps back. She strips her underwear,
seductively removing the scraps of lace, but leaving the heels on.
She flashes me a smile over her shoulder and moves to the end of the sofa, bending over the arm
as instructed. I stand and follow her, watching as her smooth back bows upward. Her tiny waist flares
out to her full hips and tight arse. I tease my fingers over her spine gently, and she breaks out in goose
bumps. I feel my cock start to stir as I run my hands over those firm arse cheeks. I grab the hem of my
shirt and pull it over my head. My jeans and boxers soon follow.
I drag my fingers slowly over the crease of her arse and between her legs. She trembles slightly
as I tease my index finger over her pussy. She’s wet, ready, willing. My mind is foggy, and my vision
is slightly blurred. From this angle, I swear, she could be Molly. You couldn’t tell them apart. My
cock hardens at the thought of Molly bent over this sofa. My mind flashes through all the ways that I
would love to fuck her, to make her come and have her screaming my name.
I push my finger inside her and she gasps, her hips squirming back against my hand. I grip her hip,
stilling her movements.
“You fucking wait for it.” I growl. She stills and I smile.
I add another finger, pushing it inside her tight pussy. She moans, throwing her head forward. Her
long blonde hair falls around her shoulders. I pump my fingers in and out of her slowly, and she
moans in rhythm to my movements. Only when she’s wet and clenching around me, do I pull out of
her. I step up behind her, pressing my now rigid cock against the crack of her arse.
“Do you want my cock, sweetness?” I grate out.
She nods. “Yes.” Her voice is barely above a whisper. I grab a handful of her hair, pulling her
head back forcefully.
“What was that?”
“Yes.” She says, louder this time.
 I kick her legs apart wider, and keep a hold of her hair, so that her back is bowed up toward me. I
fist my cock, pumping it once, twice, and guide myself into her. Her pussy is so hot, and wet. I drive
into her in one thrust. She pushes back against me, and I groan as my sensitive cock hits home. I watch
as I pull out of her and push back in. The sight of us moving together has my cock hardening even
more. I feel like I need to burst out of my skin.
“Harder.” She pleads. I yank her hair back, making her head tilt to the side. I lean forward until
my chest is pressed against her shoulder blades, and my lips are at the nape of her neck. I graze my
teeth at the juncture of her neck and shoulder, biting down as I slam into her, balls deep.
“Oh god, yes.” She purrs.
“You like that, sweetness?” I whisper against her ear.
“Mmmm.” She mumbles. I pull back again, and drive forward even harder.
Her moans build, and her body tightens. I keep hold of her hair with one hand and grip her hip
with the other hand, leveraging against her. There’s nothing romantic about this, it’s brutal and primal
and so fucking good. She’s moaning my name over and over. I love fucking her like this. I love
everything about her. She’s fucking perfect. My balls tighten as tingles start to creep over my skin.
Her pussy clenches down on my cock, fisting me in a vice like grip. I come, hard, and she pushes
back against me, riding my cock the whole time.
“Yes, baby. Fucking ride me!” I shout as she my balls explode inside her.
My body slumps forward, and I rest my forehead against the nape of her neck, breathing heavily. I
straighten, and stagger backwards, pulling out of her. My head is spinning violently, and the
combination of drink, weed and sex has me barely able to stand. She turns around, and I narrow my
eyes, trying to focus on her face. Elaina. It’s Elaina. Of course it is. Fuck. My mind is fucked.
“You know you’ve always been my favourite client, Hugo.” She says with a wry smile.
I move away from her, and go to an abstract picture hanging on the wall. “I bet you say that to all
the boys.” I say dryly. I push the painting, and slide it across the wall. Behind it is my safe. I type in
the combination and it beeps as the lock releases.
“No-one fucks like you do. I’d almost do it for free, but why would I, when I can get paid and get
fucked.”
I take a wad of cash out of the safe, and throw it across the room at her. She catches it easily, and
shoves it into her designer handbag on the coffee table. Elaina knows the drill. She’s been paid, so
she leaves. She’s fastening her bra when she decides to do something that a whore should never do,
ask questions.
“So, who is she?”
“What?” I ask impatiently.
“Who’s the girl? Come on Hugo. You’re wasted, and you’ve never called me Sweetness before,
never called me baby before. You don’t do endearing or cute, so I can only assume you were thinking
of someone else.” She steps into her dress and fastens the zip.
“Just get out.” I growl.
She shrugs. “Sorry. Didn’t realise it was a sore point.”
“I wouldn’t be fucking you if it wasn’t would I?” I snap. “You can see yourself out.” I need sleep.
I can barely stand up. My body and mind are exhausted, which is exactly how I want them. Tomorrow
I’ll wake up, and I’ll have that horrible fucking feeling in my chest again, and I’ll have to do this all
over again. My life has become an exhausting race to get fucked up quicker than the day before, and to
outrun my own mind. It’s brutal.
 CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
MOLLY
I check my reflection in the mirror, looking closely to make sure the bags under my eyes aren’t
visible through the half bottle of concealer I’m wearing. This week has been rough. My heart and my
liver have taken a battering. Lilly has been her ever loyal self, ready with a shoulder to cry on and
vodka in hand.
I’m done though. It’s time to get my shit together. Life must go on as they say.
I smooth my dress down, and slap on a coat of lip gloss. I’m going to Alex’s flat for dinner
tonight. He sent me an ominous text that said he needs to talk to me. That’s never good. I suppose if
he’s going to break up with me, then I’d best get all the heartbreak over within one week.
Day four post Hugo, I could no longer keep him at bay. I had to see him, and it made me feel like
the worlds shittiest person. He took one look at me, asked me what was wrong, and that was it. The
flood gates open, and I cried.
He looked so shocked, he didn’t know what to do, but then, in true Alex fashion, he held me. He
never pushed me to tell him why I was a hysterical mess, just offered his unending strength. Of
course, this just made me cry harder. I’ve never felt so awful in my life. I cried because Hugo will
never love me. I cried because I love Alex, and I know that what I’m doing is beyond horrible. Most
of all though I cried because I am being eaten alive by the most poisonous self-hatred. I used him. I
used him because he’s my safe place, and he makes me feel like everything will be okay. He’s warm
and reassuring. Hugo broke a little piece of me, and the wounded animal in me wants to cling to
Alex’s warmth. I let him hold me, and make me feel better, even though he had no idea what he was
doing.
Tonight I am going to go and see Alex, and I am going to forget about Hugo. Alex wants me, Hugo
doesn’t. If I stop and rationally think it through, I know that Hugo was never really an option. We’re
horrible together. He winds me up to the point of wanting to kill him, and I…I will never be enough
for Hugo. He needs the parties and the hookers. That’s what makes him happy.

I drive to Alex’s flat, and ring the buzzer. I fiddle with my hair nervously as I wait for him to open
the door. God, he must think I’m a total psycho.
I hear the latch click off the door, and it swings open. He’s wearing a pair of jeans and an old
band t-shirt, which stretches across his thick muscles.
“Hey.” He flashes me a reassuring smile.
“Hey.” I respond quietly.
He takes my hand, pulling me into the flat, and up against his solid chest. “I missed you.” He
breathes against my lips. His arms wrap around my waist, pulling me close to him as he presses his
lips against my forehead. Everything in me eases as warmth engulfs me. I press my palms flat against
his chest and breathe in the familiar scent of his after shave.
“You feeling better today?” He asks. He’s polite, but I hear what he doesn’t say. Are you going to
have another mental breakdown, because I might need a drink first.
I huff a small laugh. “I’m sorry about that.” That nasty feeling sinks into my gut again, and shame
crawls over my skin like a swarm of insects.
He places both his hands on my face, tilting my head back until his eyes meet mine. “Don’t
apologise. It’s fine.” God, if only he knew. “Just know that I’m here, always.”
 I can’t look at him right now, so I lean in and kiss him. His lips mould to mine, keeping the pace
sedate where I would sooner kick it up a gear. I want him, right now.
I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him closer as his fingers wind into my hair. I’m soon
frantically clawing at his shirt, and grinding against him like a woman possessed.
I just want him. I want him to possess me. I want him to make me forget. I want him to erase
everything that came before him, because I want him to be enough. I want him to be everything,
because he should be. I want him to know that I love him, and I need him to feel it, because I need to
know we’re okay. I need to know that what we have is strong and safe.
I know that my actions are fuelled by all the wrong reasons, but my guilt ridden insecurities are
pushing me on. Hugo has left me completely exposed, with every glaring vulnerability on show. Alex
has the ability to fix me, because that’s what he does. Hugo destroys everything around him, whilst
Alex fixes everything. Hugo has broken me, and Alex will heal me. God, I need him to heal this pain.
I tighten my arms around his neck, and caress his tongue with my own. He responds, but he’s
restrained.
He pulls back, breathing heavily as he watches me. “As much as I like where this is going, I really
do want to talk to you.” He says.
I groan. “If you’re going to break up with me, then please at least let me have my way with you
one more time.”
He frowns, his expression becoming almost stern. “I’m not breaking up with you. Why would you
think that?”
“You said ‘we need to talk’. That’s never good.”
His face breaks into a smile. “This is good. I promise.” He kisses the end of my nose quickly and
takes my hand, leading me through to the living room. There’s a small table in the corner, which is set
for dinner.
He pulls out a chair for me, and I sit.
“Let me just grab the food.” He says as he moves away.
There’s a bottle of red on the table, and two wine glasses. I know Alex prefers white wine, but he
always has red, because he knows I like it. I smile as I pour the liquid into the two glasses. I’m
curious as to what he has to tell me. Whatever it is, he seems happy about it.
“I’m not the best cook, but I can do lasagne.” He says as he re-appears from the kitchen, carrying
two plates.
I smile. “I love Lasagne.”
We eat, we drink, we laugh and we talk. This is normal. This is what I want, stability and safety.
“You seem more like yourself tonight.” He comments.
I try not to let my expression give away my thoughts. I feel my stomach churn as I think of what he
witnessed a few days ago. He should never have had to watch me cry over Hugo. Even if he didn’t
know that’s what he was doing. I feel dirty and sordid in ways that I never ever thought I would. I’m
not one of those girls. Hell, I hate those girls. I would be the first to chastise my own behaviour. The
thing is though, things aren’t always black and white. I really wish they were. Life would be so much
easier.
“I’m feeling much better. Thank you.”
I watch as he draws in a deep breath. “Molly.” There’s a pause, and I can tell he wants to say
something, but he’s struggling with the words.
“Yes?” I prompt.
His eyes lock with mine. “Do you trust me?”
 I frown. What kind of question is that? “Of course.”
He pinches the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger. “Not enough to tell me
what’s going on with you though…”
I can feel my shoulders start to tense. “I…” What can I even say to that. “I’m a private person
Alex. I tend to deal with things on my own. That’s how I am.”
He nods. “You tell Hugo things though…” I don’t miss the flash of pain that crosses his features,
and it mimics the pain that grips my chest at the mention of his name.
“That’s different.” I whisper.
“Why is it different Molly?” He persists.
“It just is!” I snap. His eyes widen, and the there’s a deafening silence between us. Shit! I drag my
fingers through my hair and take a couple of deep breaths. “I’m sorry.” I say quietly. “I just…Hugo is
pushy. He was there when I found out that my dad was coming to town, and he badgered me until I
told him what was wrong. He’s annoying as hell when he’s like that, so I told him. He then insisted on
coming with me.” I explain.
“I would have gone with you.” He says sincerely.
I smile sadly. “I know you would, but I don’t want you to see that. My father…he’s an arsehole.
The only reason I have anything to do with him is because he pays for my flat.” That sounds bad, but I
don’t want to get into the whole thing with my mum and everything.
“You let him see it though.”
God, why can’t he just drop it? “Because I don’t care what he thinks. I care what you think.”
“I wouldn’t…”
I hold up my hand cutting him off. “Trust me, my father is not someone you want to meet. My
taking Hugo was a ‘face fire with fire’ kind of thing. He speaks arsehole.”
“Okay.”
I glance up at him. “Please don’t take it personally. This is just one aspect of my life that I’m not
all that keen on sharing.”
He reaches across the table and takes my hand, rubbing his thumb across the base of my wrist.
“Okay. I just needed to know. I hate the idea that maybe he can give you something I can’t.” I bite the
inside of my lip to keep the tears that I can feel prickling my eyes, at bay. I swallow the lump in my
throat. It hurts, because what he just said is truer than he can possibly imagine, or than I would ever
care to admit.
I look him in the eye. “You are everything I need.” I say with complete resolve, because it’s true. I
don’t need Hugo, but I crave him, I want him, shamefully so.
A small smile pulls at his lips, as his eyes lock firmly with mine. “That’s good, because I love
you, Molly.”
He loves me. Alex loves me. I’m aware of how twisted this situation is.
“I love you too.” I whisper. Oh my god, I’m such a slut. I’m a slut with my love. I have a slutty
heart. Surely it’s not possible to love more than one person. I’ve always believed in ‘the one’, you
know, that one person who makes you completely blind to all others. That person who, when you see
them, you just know.
It’s called ‘the one’, not ‘the two’. There is nothing romantic or beautiful about my torn and
battered heart right now. One person should be enough.
I want Alex to be my ‘one’ though. I really do. I could spend the rest of my life with Alex and
never be unhappy. I could marry him and have kids with him, and know that he would always be there
for me. He would never falter. He would always be safe and supportive. When you think about it,
what more could you possibly ask for in life?
He stands and moves around the small table, dropping to a crouch in front of me with a beaming
smile on his face. “I know this is happening quite fast, but I don’t see the point in waiting…” Oh god,
he’s not…I look down. No, he’s on two knees, not one. Shit. I tell my frozen lungs to breathe again.
“Will you move in with me, Molly?”
My jaw drops. I was not expecting that. He can’t be serious surely? “What?” I squeak.
“I know we haven’t been together very long, but I don’t care.” He shrugs. He’s so sure of me, so
sure of us. If only he knew.
“Alex, I think it’s too soon.”
He smiles. “Life is short. Sometimes you just know when something is right. I know this is right.”
What the hell am I supposed to say to that?
I reach out and run my fingers over his jaw line. “Look, let me think about it, okay?” I can see the
disappointment in his eyes, but I can’t give in on this one. Too much has happened in the last week.
My emotions are all over the place. Now is not the time to make such a monumental decision. “I just
need time. I’m not good with spontaneity.”
He huffs a small laugh. “Okay, I’ll give you time.”
I lean forward, pressing my lips to his. “Thank you.” I breathe against his skin.
He cups my face, holding me, and kissing me back. “I just want to come home to you every night,
and wake up next to you every morning.” His tongue brushes my bottom lip. “You make me happy
Molly.” He says against my mouth. Could he be any more romantic if he tried?
I bury my fingers in his hair. “You know what would make me happy?” I whisper against his lips,
before nipping at his bottom lip.
“Hmmm?” He purrs.
“You.” I gasp. “Naked. Now.”
One hand moves to the zip at the back of my dress and slowly lowers it as his lips skim up my
neck.
“I can do that.” He says, as he pulls his shirt over his head. I want Alex to fuck me until I can’t
even remember who Hugo is any more.
 CHAPTER NINETEEN
HUGO
I wake up, and I have no idea where I am for a few moments. I look at the empty space in the bed
next to me. No random body occupying it. Strange.
As my hazy vision comes into focus I start to recognise the room vaguely. Dark grey walls, girly
chandeliers and curtains. It’s one of Theo’s spare rooms.
I sit up and groan. Fuck! My brain feels like it’s going to fall out. My mouth tastes like a rodent
crawled in, took a shit, and then curled up and died in it. My eyes feel like someone rubbed sand into
my eyeballs. That was a heavy night.
Theo and I went to Allure, and then decided to hit the strip club. I told him to go. That poor
bastard is so pussy whipped it makes me sick. Who the fuck goes to a strip club and doesn’t even
look at the strippers? That’s not sweet, or loyal, it’s just fucking tragic. If I ever get like that, I want
someone to just put me the fuck down.
He didn’t though, and apparently I got so trashed he thought I needed to sleep here.
I stagger out of the bed and into the bathroom, taking a piss in the shower, because my morning
glory and lack of vision means I’m unlikely to have great aim this morning.
My clothes smell of booze and cigarette smoke, but I throw them on. I think the fact that I managed
to get myself undressed when I was that drunk is a fucking achievement. I usually have help with that
shit.
The house is quiet, but then, it’s no longer London’s number one party spot I guess. I go to the
kitchen and search the cupboards until I find a bottle of vodka and a short glass. I pour out a good
couple of fingers worth. This is going to be fucking horrible, but it’s for the greater good. I haven’t
had a proper hangover since I was fifteen, but then arguably I probably haven’t been truly sober since
then either. I neck the shot and shudder as bile rises up my throat. Oh god that’s nasty. I’m sitting on a
bar stool holding my head in my hands when Lilly walks in.
“Wow, you look rough as shit this morning.” She says, as she starts fiddling with the coffee
machine.
“Thanks. That’s the look I was going for.” Five more minutes and the vodka will kick in. I just
have to survive until then.
“Uh-huh.” She nods toward the bottle of vodka in front of me. “Hair of the dog?”
“I don’t cope well with hangovers.”
“No shit.” She cocks an eyebrow at me. “Ever considered drinking less, you know, going to the
root of the problem?”
I snort. “Be fucking serious.” She makes her coffee and takes a seat at the bar across from me,
leaning her elbows on the counter top. She blows on the steaming mug and says nothing. The silence
is bordering on uncomfortable.
“So…nice weather today.” I say
Her eyebrows shoot up. “Really, Hugo?”
“I don’t like awkward silences.” I defend myself. “It was getting weird.”
She rolls her eyes. “So talk.”
“I just did.”
“About something that actually matters, not stupid bullshit. And when I say something that actually
matters, what I mean is, the big pink fucking elephant in the room, and no doubt the reason that you are
sat in my house at nine o’ clock on a Saturday morning smelling like a brewery.” Jesus Christ, she
pulls no fucking punches.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I sniff. The vodka is kicking in now, and my head feels
clearer.
She narrows her eyes at me. “You know exactly what I’m talking about. You’re fucking spineless
Hugo.” She’s angry, like properly angry.
I frown. “What the hell got up your arse?”
She puts her coffee down and glances across the room, saying nothing for a few minutes.
“I told Theo I wouldn’t get involved, but I swear to god, you are the stupidest fucking person I’ve
ever met.” She mumbles. “Molly.” Just the sound of her name makes me want to down that fucking
bottle right now. “You’re spineless when it comes to Molly.”
I set my face into a casual mask and shrug. “Molly knows the situation. She’s always known the
situation.”
Her eyes flick up, locking with mine and making me want to shrink back. I don’t know how Theo
has any balls left. Bitch is scary.
“Wake up Hugo. How long are you going to keep drinking and fucking your way through life?”
“I didn’t ask for your judgement if I recall.” I say icily.
She slaps her hands against the work top. “You know what? I have no problem with you as a
person, but I will always always hate you for my best friend.” Well, at least she’s honest. “Because
she is kind, and good. She puts everyone else before herself.” She tilts her head to the side. “And you
are fundamentally selfish. You can’t help it.” She grits her teeth. “You do nothing but hurt her, and you
don’t deserve her.”
I rub my hand over my face. “Don’t you think I know this? You don’t have to preach to me about
how good Molly is. I know.”
She watches me carefully. “You care about her, I know that much.”
I close my eyes, picturing Molly’s face. “Of course I care about her. She’s one of my best
friends.” Was. She was one of my best friends. Maybe the best. “And she’s too good for me, like you
said.”
She nods. “She is too good for you.” She takes a deep breath, and traces her index finger around
the top of her coffee cup. “And I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you don’t get to make that decision
for her.”
My eyes widen as I look up at her. “What?”
She rolls her eyes. “You’ve never hidden what you are from her Hugo. She knows how bad you
can be. She sees every fucked up inch of you, and yet she loves you. Fuck knows why.” She adds.
“You don’t get to tell her she’s too good. She is the one who gets to decide if you’re not good enough,
and not once has she ever thought that you aren’t good enough.” I clench my fists and drop my head
forward. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Why is she saying this shit to me?
“She…she doesn’t know me. She thinks she sees something good, but trust me, all I’m good for is
fucking. Her wanting me is just some romantic bullshit.”
A small smile pulls at her lips as she shakes her head. “She loves you, and Molly’s love is
something precious. Trust me.”
“Alex is the guy for her, I’m not. Besides, I thought you were all ‘team Alex’.” I huff as jealousy
tries to get a hold on me. In my mind I’ve let Molly go, but damn, the thought of that bloody doctor
touching her has me pissed off. I clench my fists as my temper threatens. Fucking hell. When did I
become this unstable?
 Lilly smiles wide. “Jealous?” I quirk an eyebrow at her and press my lips together. “I’m telling
you this, because I want my best friend to be happy. Her version of happy, not what you or I think will
make her happy.” She explains. “Yes, she’s with Alex, but would she be if you had manned the fuck
up months ago and grown a set?”
“I don’t want to talk about this.” I say, trying to close down the conversation. I can’t deal with this
shit. It fucks with my head.
She stands up and puts her empty coffee mug in the sink. “Oh, and by the way, he asked her to
move in with him, and she said yes. I thought you might like to know. She moves on Monday.” With
that she walks out of the room.
That sly bitch. I drag my hands through my hair and reach for the bottle of vodka, pouring out
another couple of fingers worth and necking it. Images of Molly flick through my mind, and an ache
forms in my chest. I rub at it, trying to ease it. I don’t need her, and I certainly don’t love her. I don’t
even know what love feels like.
I miss her though. I miss the sound of her voice, and the way she smiles when I do something
fucking stupid. I miss the way her perfume smells on my sheets, and the way she always holds my arm
in a fucking death grip whenever I spoon her, as if I might try and escape. I miss her warmth. She
carries it around with her like some unseen force, drawing everyone to her. I just miss her, everything
about her. My life is brighter when she’s around, and now everything just feels so dark and pointless.
Why am I so obsessed with her?
I was never this into her when I was fucking her. Don’t get me wrong, she’s an epic lay, but that’s
all she was, a lay. Now, here I am, missing a girl who I haven’t even fucked for the past six months.
Well, shit.
And now she’s moving in with Alex, the guy who is everything I’m not. He’s who she should be
with, he’s good for her. So why do I feel so fucking gutted about it?

After my conversation with Lilly this morning, I ended up finishing that bottle of vodka. Theo said
that he and Lilly are going out to Poison tonight. Apparently they’re taking Molly and Alex out to
celebrate them moving in together. I was invited, but something tells me it was a cursory invite. Fuck
that.
I walk into Poison and scan the crowd. My vision is blurred from all the vodka. Fuck, I’m
surprised I can still walk. I’ve drunk enough to put an elephant down. I spot Theo standing at the bar
talking to Alex. Brilliant. I stagger over there and clap my hand on Theo’s shoulder.
“Hey dude.”
“Theo, Alex.” I half wave, but my arms aren’t responding very well.
“Hey.” Alex says politely. Always so fucking polite. Jesus, I want to punch him, just to see
whether he’ll apologise for hurting my fist.
“I didn’t think you were coming.” Theo says with a fake arse smile on his lips. I narrow my eyes
at him. Fucking traitor, hanging out with Molly and the good guy she’s fucking now.
“Changed my mind.” I call over a barman and order two shots of tequila. Best wrap up the night
in style by vomiting and passing out.
Theo wraps his hand around my neck and leans into me. “Are you sure you want to do this?” He
asks quietly.
I laugh. “I came to wish the happy couple luck.”
“Hugo.” He growls. “You didn’t want her.”
“Don’t fucking tell me what I do or don’t want. You have no fucking idea.” I say, taking the shots
the barman puts on the bar and handing him a twenty pound note.
Theo’s fingers tighten on my neck. “Don’t fuck this up for her, okay? You’ve already hurt her man,
let it be.” He releases me and moves away, with Alex following him.
Fuck. He’s right. What am I doing here? I order another drink, and down it. I’m about to leave,
when a manicured hand lands on my fore arm.
“Hugo!” A high pitched voice shrieks. I turn and look at the woman hanging off me. Nope. I have
no idea who she is. She’s pretty enough though. I know by now that a pretty girl who knows my name
is a former fuck.
“Hey…”
“Sammi.” She smiles, clearly un-phased by the fact that I have no fucking clue who she is. I used
to find women like her appealing, but now…nothing. I don’t even want to fuck her. God, what is this
shit? It’s like I suddenly have a conscience or something. Molly has fucked my head up, and I don’t
like it. I just want to go back to drinking and fucking my way through as much pussy as is physically
possible. Jesus, I can’t even get off any more unless I pretend it’s her, and I have done the five
knuckle shuffle more times in the past week than I have in the last year, all to the memory of fucking
her. This shit is fucked up. So fucked up.
Without saying another word, I turn and make my way through the crowd, toward the door. I’m
almost across the dance floor, when a group of girls part, and there in front of me is Molly. She’s
dancing with Lilly, but she freezes when she sees me.
It feels like I’m being punched in the gut as those deep blue eyes lock with mine. Walk the fuck
away, I think to myself. She takes a step toward me, and then freezes, a frown etching into her
features. She closes her eyes as if she’s in pain, and then turns away. Lilly puts an arm around her,
pulling her away from me, the bastard who told her he didn’t love her. Lilly flashes me an annoyed
look over her shoulder.
Before I know what I’m doing, I’m marching across the small space. I grab Molly’s arm, pulling
her away from Lilly, and walking toward the door. She pulls against me, but I keep a hold on her until
we’re outside the club and down the street a little.
“Hugo, what the fuck?” She snaps.
I turn to face her, and push her up against a shop window. I slam my lips over hers, and it feels so
fucking right it makes me want to scream, because this is wrong. I’m wrong.
I can’t stop myself though, I need her. Fuck, do I need her. I wind my fingers into her silky hair,
and yank her up against my body. She’s slow to react, and I can almost hear her mind trying to process
what the fuck I’m doing. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. I’m just instinct and need. I need her
like I need air to breathe.
Eventually, her lips part and a moan slips from her lips. I growl, pressing against the window
harder. It’s brutal and unrestrained, because this is what she drives me to. She takes it and demands
more, because under that prissy exterior, she’s a fucking animal. A wolf dressed in Prada and
Louboutins. I tear my lips from hers and skim them down her neck, inhaling the scent of her like it’s
fucking crack cocaine. Her fingers claw at my shirt as her back bows, her body gravitating toward
me. I bite down on her neck and she groans my name, her nails clawing across the back of my neck.
My cock strains against my jeans, fucking gagging for her. Every part of me craves every part of her.
I tear my mouth away from her, and rest my forehead against hers. Her breathing is ragged as her
breath blows across my face. My fingers clench in her hair. I don’t want to let her go, but I can’t keep
her, and the rational part of me knows that.
“What are you doing Hugo?” She finally asks.
 “I don’t know.” I confess. “I just….” I push away from her and turn my back to her, clasping my
hands behind my head. What am I doing? “You fuck me up, sweetness.”
I turn back around to face her. Her eyes are on the floor, and her arms are crossed across her
chest. She looks upset.
“You’re drunk.” She whispers. I nod. “God, I’m so fucking stupid.” She mumbles. “I’m just a
piece of pussy to you.” She shakes her head.
The fuck? I close the distance between us, grabbing her chin and forcing her to look at me. “You
are not a piece of pussy.” I growl at her. “You’re my best friend.” My voice sounds desperate. I need
her to understand, but how can she? How can I expect her to understand something that I don’t
understand myself? Shit!
“That didn’t feel very friendly.” She breathes.
“Molly!?” A voice calls her name and her head snaps up.
“That’s Alex. I have to go.” Her eyes drop to the floor and a blush creeps across her cheeks.
“Molly…”
“No, Hugo.” She holds up her hand. “He deserves better from me. I’m done wanting you. I’m
done hoping that you will ever do anything but disappoint me. I’m done.” She pushes off the window
and walks away from me.
“Congratulations.” I blurt. She stops and glances over her shoulder. “You and Alex. He’s…good
for you.”
“You have no idea what is good for me.” She says, before walking back to the front of the club.
She’s right of course, I’m that guy, the one everyone expects to let them down. Hell, no-one even
has any expectations of me anymore, and that’s the way I like it. I’ve never given a fuck whether I
disappointed anyone before, because I’m Hugo Harrison, and I don’t give a fuck about anything or
anyone…except her. I don’t want to be a disappointment to her, but it seems old habits die hard. No
matter how much I don’t want to let her down, I will, sooner or later. It’s what I do, and it’s why I
need to man the fuck up and let her go. If she were anyone else, I would take her because I want her,
consequences be damned. It is her though, and I want more for her.
 CHAPTER TWENTY
MOLLY
Fucking arsehole. He’s so bloody selfish. What Hugo wants, Hugo takes. He’s only here because
hasn’t found anything better to amuse him for the night. That would be fine. I’d usually just blow it off
as typical Hugo, except that now he knows how I feel about him, and yet he still chooses to toy with
my heart. Well, fuck him.
“You okay?” Alex asks, his eyes drifting over my shoulder.
I nod. “Yeah, I’m good.” He wraps an arm around my shoulder and guides me back inside the
club. I glance down the street and see a lone figure walking away. Why does he have such a hold on
me?

I tell Alex I’m going to the loo, and send him back to the table. I don’t go to the loo. I go to the bar
and order two tequila shots. The bar is split into three sections, the first two rooms are loud, with
dance floors and neon lights. This room is a little quieter. I take a seat on the bar stool. I just need a
minute. The barman places the tequila on the bar, and I pay him.
I down it straight, and cough as I down the second one, pressing the back of my hand against my
mouth.
“You should never drink cheap tequila.” I turn towards the deep voice, its low timber easily heard
over the music. Theo. I know he’s not responsible for the actions of his friend, but I’m hurting and
irrational right now, and he just makes me think of Hugo.
“Yeah, well, it’s serving a purpose.” I summon the barman again and order two more.
“You sure you want to go down this road, Molly? It’s not like you.” I laugh. Good old dependable
Molly. She can always be trusted to look after everyone, to be the safe one. What about me?
“Pretty fucking sure.”
He takes a seat next to me and calls the barman over, ordering the same as me. “Well, friends
don’t let friends drink alone.” He says. “Plus, if Lilly sees you, she’ll be all over it, and then I’ll have
to carry her vomiting, staggering arse home, and I won’t get laid.”
I laugh. “Fair enough.”
“So, you and Alex moving in. That’s a big deal.” He starts.
“Yeah.” It is a big deal, and honestly, I’m scared shitless. I’m scared of making a mistake. There’s
a long silence, and I glance at him. He’s resting his elbows on the bar, fiddling with the shot glass in
front of him. “Just say it already.” I huff.
He looks up at me, tilting his head to the side. “Say what?”
“Hugo.” I growl. “I know you came to say something, so say it.”
He shakes his head. “Nope.”
“He’s a fucking arse.”
“Yep.” He replies.
The tequila is kicking in now, and I’m not sure if it’s making me more or less inclined to kill
Hugo.
“Seriously. He’s all; I will never love you Molly, and then he turns up here and fucking kisses
me.” I throw my hands up in exasperation. “Who does that?”
“He’s…struggling.” I narrow my eyes at him and he holds his hands up. “Hey, I’m not defending
him. He’s a fucking idiot.”
 “It’s fine. I don’t want to talk about it.” I cut him off and order another shot. I don’t want to talk
about it, and I don’t want to think about it, but my mind is replaying that kiss over and over on a loop.
Hugo has that effect. He kisses me and everything else falls away. I know I can’t have him, hell, I
don’t even want him after the way he’s made me feel, but damn, he almost makes me want to be used
by him. He just has this ability to make me lose all my inhibitions, both within myself, and sexually.
He’s dirty, and dominant, and I love it. No-one else generates that kind of raw, primal need in me. I
feel alive when I’m with him, and I guess I’m terrified of never feeling like that again.
Alex is lovely, and I adore him. He’s like a warm fire on a cold night, but he will never be the
wild flame that is Hugo. He’ll also never burn me. There’s always a trade-off.

A couple of hours later, and I stagger through the front door of Alex’s flat. He grabs my arm to
steady me as I almost fall flat on my face.
I slump against the wall, and sway as I pull my shoes off. “Oh, that feels so good.” I slur, giggling.
“Uh, what does?” He asks, watching me warily.
“The carpet on my toes. My feet hurt.” I point at my toes, wiggling them.
“Okay. You should probably drink some water. You’ll be dehydrated.” He goes to walk past me,
but I grab his shirt, pushing him up against the wall in the hall.
“I know something that might rehydrate me.” I’m drunk, and horny, and feeling really slutty. I yank
at his belt buckle roughly, kissing down his neck. His hands grip my waist, and his fingers clench as I
graze my teeth across his throat.
“Molly.” His voice is thick and raspy.
I ignore him, slowly lowering myself onto my knees in front of him. I bite my lip, looking up at
him as I trace my finger under the elastic of his boxers. He takes a deep breath and steps backward,
pulling away from me. I fall forward and land on my hands and knees.
“Where are you going?” I whine like a sulky child.
“To get you water.” He says, heading towards the kitchen.
“I already told you, I don’t want water.” I huff. He’s gone. “Alex!”
He comes back a few seconds later with a glass of water. His jeans are now done up again.
“Drink this.” He holds it out to me, and I take a sip.
“You’re no fun.” I pout.
He offers me a small smile. “I won’t take advantage of you when you’re drunk, Molly.”
“It’s not taking advantage.” I argue. “I’m your girlfriend, you’re supposed to take advantage of
me.” He shakes his head. Oh my god, he’s seriously going to turn me down! I’m so fucking horny, I’m
going to start humping inanimate objects. I totally blame Hugo. Wanker.
He holds his hand out to help me up. I take it, and let him pull me to my feet. “Because I love you,
and I would never use you like that.” He cups my cheeks in both hands and leans forward, pressing
his lips into my forehead. Never use me like that. Fuck, right now, I want to be used, preferably
against every surface in this flat. The nasty little voice in my head whispers at me that Hugo would
fuck me right now. That thought is like a bucket of ice cold water.
I step back away from him, and turn around, walking toward the bedroom.
“Molly?” He calls after me.
I go into the bedroom and silently remove my dress, dropping it onto the floor. One of Alex’s
shirts is on the back of the chair, and I pull it on, inhaling the smell of his cologne.
“What is wrong with you tonight?” I spin around to see Alex standing in the doorway.
“Nothing.”
 “You disappeared outside for a long time.” He says quietly. “I saw Hugo.”
I inhale sharply. “He wanted to congratulate me.”
He nods slowly. “And then after he leaves, you start drinking tequila like it’s an Olympic sport…”
He drags a hand through his dark waves as his golden eyes watch me.
I shrug. “Hugo drives me to drink. What can I say?”
“You seemed upset.”
“Well I wasn’t!” I snap. He cocks an eyebrow, but remains silent. “I’m going to bed.”

Later that night, I lay there staring at the ceiling. I should be asleep. If nothing else, the tequila
should have knocked me out, and stopped my stupid mind from thinking, but it hasn’t, on either
account.
I don’t know what the hell I’m doing anymore. I don’t know what I want, and I don’t know who I
am. I’m the good friend, the loyal girlfriend, the doting daughter. I’m not this person, the person who
deceives her boyfriend whilst pining for another man. The girl who falls in love with her friend. The
girl who lays next to her boyfriend, and cries, because she wishes he were someone else. The girl
who should break up with her boyfriend, but can’t, because she selfishly loves him too.
I swipe at my tears frantically. I don’t know who this person is, and I don’t like her.

A few days later, and I’m standing in the middle of my bedroom surrounded by packed boxes. I’m
excited at the prospect of having a life with Alex, but I can’t help this niggling feeling in my stomach.
I keep telling myself that it’s just the change. Nobody likes change, right?
I sit down on my stripped bed and check my phone. No messages. No missed calls. I don’t know
what I’m expecting, or quite what I’m waiting for. Maybe an out? Shit, this is all happening so fast.
I’m worried that it’s too soon. Maybe I only said yes to moving in with Alex because I was so
heartbroken over Hugo. Hugo rejected me, and Alex was there with open arms telling me that he
wanted a life with me. Hugo told me he could never commit, and Alex made a commitment right there
and then. Am I doing this for the right reasons? Surely if you move in with someone, then you intend to
marry them, and have kids. I’m not saying I wouldn’t want that with Alex, but it’s just too soon. I
don’t know!
I’m still in the throws of my mental breakdown when there’s a knock on my bedroom door and
George pops his head around the door.
“Um, sweetie, there’s someone here to see you.” His eyes are wide, a hint of concern on his
features.
“Who?”
“Me.” The door pushes open revealing Hugo, standing in the doorway behind George. I say
nothing as our eyes lock.
“I’ll…go.” George says, slowly creeping away.
 CHAPTER TWENTY ONE
HUGO
There’s a tense silence as I take in Molly. I fucking miss her. She’s standing surrounded by boxes,
a painful fucking reminder of the fact that I was too much of a pussy to go after her, and I let Alex
make his move. She drags an agitated hand through her long blonde hair.
“What do you want Hugo?” She whispers. She looks tired. Dark circles mark her eyes, and she
looks thinner.
“Don’t move in with him.” I blurt.
Her head snaps up, and she frowns.
“What?”
“Don’t move in with him. He’s not right for you.” Fuck, this is not how I planned this to go.
She shakes her head. “You are unbelievable. Fuck you!” She clenches and releases her fists,
shaking with anger. “You yourself, have told me countless times how good Alex is for me, how
deserving he is of me.” She says in a mocking tone. “And now you’re here telling me not to move in
with him.”
“I was wrong.” I say. “I mean, not wrong, but you don’t need good.”
“It’s too late, Hugo. You made your choice.”
“I fucked up!” I shout at her. “I never should have told you to be with him. I never should have let
you walk away.”
She turns on me, her expression fierce. “Are you serious?! You spent months telling me I was
good. Telling me how bad you are, how wrong. Well you know what, you were right. I am too good
for you. I deserve better than a guy who doesn’t even see me until I’m gone.”
“I fucking saw you Molly.” I growl. “I see you more clearly than anyone.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” She snaps.
I step forward, closing the space between us and cupping her jaw. “It means you’re not all good
sweetness. You’re not the wall flower that you like to pretend you are with Alex. You’re loyal, and
loving and kind, but you’re so much more. You are feisty, and determined. You’re a firework waiting
to be lit.”
“You know nothing.” Her voice hitches and she takes a shaky step back, away from me.
“I know that you’re different around me than you are around everyone else. You don’t hide from
me, because even though you think I’m a fuck up, you know I give you the freedom to be a fuck up too.
You don’t have to put on a front around me, and I can’t let you move in with him, and spend your life
fucking hiding who you are.”
“I don’t hide.” She snaps.
I drop my hand from her face and drag my hands through my hair. “Are you fucking kidding me?
You’re like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I watch you play the dutiful daughter, the patient and
understanding friend, the polite girlfriend, until you get to me…and then you’re just Molly.”
“What do you want me to say, Hugo? You aren’t an option, you’ve made that abundantly clear.
Alex…I love Alex, and he offers me a future. He loves me.” Her eyes lock with mine, and they’re full
of regret and sadness. I know her. She doesn’t want this. I know she doesn’t.
She’s right though. I don’t even really know what I want. Why am I even here? All I know is that I
don’t want her to move in with Alex, but I’m not really giving her a reason not to, am I?
“What if I was an option?” I say quietly.
 She rolls her eyes. “You say that now, because you think you’re about to lose your favourite toy,
but you don’t know what it actually means to commit to someone Hugo. I’ve made my choice, and I
won’t betray Alex again.”
She’s right of course. I have no clue what it means to commit to someone. Fuck, the closest I’ve
ever come to a relationship is a regular whore.
I step forward again and wrap my hand around the nape of her neck, pulling her close. Her breath
hitches as her body presses against mine. She places her hand against my stomach, threatening to push
me away, but I only tighten my hold on her.
Her eyes meet mine, before her eyelids flutter closed. “Don’t make me say it.” I plead against her
lips.
Her eyes open, and meet mine. “Say what?” She breathes.
“You know what.”
There’s a long beat of silence, before her eyes soften and she cups my cheek. I watch her try and
find some resolve. Fuck that. I won’t let her think of all the reasons why this is wrong. I know there
are too many to count, but I also know that whatever this is with us, I want it.
She opens her mouth to say something, and I slam my lips over hers. It takes her a few seconds to
react, and then she’s kissing me back. Her fingers grip my shirt, and a moan slips from her throat. She
comes alive, her body igniting and moulding to mine. I love feeling her open up like this. I love that
she loses all her inhibitions with me, in a way that I know she doesn’t with anyone else.
She suddenly stiffens and shoves away from me, breathing raggedly. “I can’t do this.” She gasps.
“Molly…” I start.
She shakes her head as her eyes meet mine. “I told you I loved you Hugo, and you said nothing.
You let me walk away!” I can hear the pain in her voice. I hurt her, and I don’t fucking deserve her
forgiveness.
I brush my thumb over her cheek, as a tear slips down her face. “Don’t cry.” I say quietly. “You
scare me, sweetness.” I shrug. I don’t know how to do this. Shit.
She sniffs and closes her eyes as she takes a shuddering breath. “I can’t do this.” She repeats, as
she steps away from me. My hand falls to my side, and I stand there numbly facing her. “It’s not
enough, Hugo.”
How can it not be enough? I feel like I’m handing her my fucking soul here. How can that possibly
not be enough? I don’t know what to say. I can’t think of a single fucking thing.
“Molly…” I take a step towards her and she raises a hand, halting me.
“Hugo, just go.” I meet her eyes, and for a few seconds we just stare at each other. It feels as
though there are a thousand unspoken words between us. I don’t want to walk away from her. I let her
go once, and it feels like the biggest fucking mistake of my life, but what can I do? I fucked up, and
now I have to deal with the consequences. I have to watch her walk away from me and move in with
Alex, the guy who represents everything I’m not, everything I can’t give her.
I turn around and walk out of the room, leaving her surrounded by boxes.
 CHAPTER TWENTY TWO
MOLLY
My bedroom door clicks shut, and my knees give way, hitting the floor hard. I dig my fingers into
the carpet as I bend over. Pain rips through my torso almost crippling me. They say that heart break is
emotional, but it feels fucking physical to me. I roll onto my back on the floor, clutching at my aching
chest.
Why is it that every time we part ways it hurts a little more. Surely it should get easier? I had
come to terms with this. I was good, and then he turns up out of the blue and bam, I’m right back
where I started.
That was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Every fibre of my being wants him, wants to fall into
his arms and pray that he never lets me go, but that’s just it…I can’t live on blind faith, on the hope
that I’m enough for him, because the likelihood is that I won’t be.
I could easily fall for Hugo’s sweet lines and false promises, but I’m done losing all sense of self-
respect over him. No matter how much I love him, I have to love myself more.
As I sit here, staring at the ceiling, I realise that I might never get over Hugo Harrison, but I can’t
move in with Alex. I can’t be with Alex. I know Hugo and I can never happen, but my heart hasn’t
realised that yet, and it still firmly belongs to him. I can’t keep denying that. Just wanting to feel the
same thing for Alex isn’t enough. I can’t keep dragging him through this shit, only ever half committing
to him and using him to soothe my battered heart.
No more.

I scramble up off the floor and walk straight through the flat and out the front door. I don’t stop
until I slide behind the wheel of George’s little Jeep. I lean my head against the steering wheel and
take a few deep breaths. I can still taste Hugo on my lips, still smell his cologne.
I know what I need to do, but at the same time I’ve never felt so unclear in my life. All I know
right now is that I need to get out of this mess. I turn the ignition and throw the car into reverse.

I pull into a parking space and stare up at Alex’s flat. My heart is hammering against my ribs like
a marching band. I drag my hands through my hair and squeeze my eyes shut, trying to gather my
scattered thoughts. I don’t know what I’m going to say.
I take a deep breath and open the door. The climb up his stairs feels like miles. I knock tentatively
on the door, half hoping he’s out and I can put this off.
A few seconds later I hear footsteps and then the door swings open revealing Alex’s smiling face.
My stomach bottoms out and I bite my lip as tears threaten immediately.
“Molly?” His smile disappears and his eyebrows pull together in a frown. “What’s wrong?” He
reaches out and touches my shoulder reassuringly. Shit, I don’t know if I can do this. Now that I’m
here, my resolve is wavering. “Come in.” He ushers me into the flat, the flat that I’m supposed to be
moving into tomorrow. I feel like a zombie as I shuffle into the hallway.
“Alex, I…” I croak. “I have to talk to you.”
“Okay.” He leads me through to the sitting room, taking a seat on the sofa. I stand there, numbly
facing him.
“I can’t move in with you.” I blurt.
His golden eyes move slowly over my face, and I want to shrink away from his studious gaze.
Surely he’ll see what an awful person I am, the things I’ve done. I cheated on him. Oh, god. I cheated
on him! My eyes start to prickle, and tilt my head back, looking at the ceiling and trying desperately
not to bloody cry.
“What’s going on Molly? If it’s too soon, then we can delay it.”
I shake my head. “No, I just, I can’t.” Just say it Molly. “I can’t be with you anymore.”
He looks shocked. Of course he looks shocked. He thought he was moving in with his girlfriend
tomorrow, and now she’s here trying to break up with him. He eventually stands up and moves in front
of me, blocking out the rest of the world with his massive presence. He gently cups my face, and I
close my eyes. I can’t look at him.
“Talk to me Molly.” He says in that soothing, deep tone of his. I shake my head, because there are
no words that can make this any better. It’s horrible. My chest aches. “I love you.” That does it. The
dam bursts, and tears streak down my cheeks. I press my hand to my mouth to try and stem the choked
sobs coming from my mouth. What the hell is wrong with me? Isn’t this what I want? I turn away from
him and his hand falls to his side. “Please tell me what’s wrong. This isn’t you. I can see you don’t
want this.”
He’s right, I don’t want this, but I don’t want him as much as I should. I don’t want him more than
I want Hugo, and that makes this wrong and unfair to him on so many levels. He shouldn’t be a
consolation prize.
I hear him move behind me before his arms wrap around me, comforting me. I am a vile person.
“I have to do this.” I whisper. “You deserve better than me.”
“There is no better than you.” His low voice rumbles against my ear. Oh god, I can’t sit here and
listen to him tell me how good he thinks I am, because I’m not.
I inhale sharply and step out of his hold, turning to face him. “I’m in love with someone else.” My
voice cracks.
A look of confusion washes over his features before his eyes slowly lock with mine. “You said
you loved me.”
“And I do. I promise you, I do love you.” I defend quickly. “But I also love him.”
“Hugo.” He says without accusation. I don’t respond, but my face must give me away. He turns
away, locking his fingers together behind his neck. “You promised me you were just friends.”
“We were…we are.” I stumble over my explanation.
His face whips around to face me, and he laughs. “Don’t you see what he’s doing Molly? He had
you and you walked away. You’re his friend, and he can’t stand that you are moving in with me. He
wants you to himself, but he also wants to keep sleeping with every girl who looks his way.”
I shake my head. “It’s not like that.”
“He’s not good enough for you, not even slightly.” He growls. “He tells you what you want to hear
and you instantly fall for it.”
“I know!” I shout. “And I don’t fall for it. I’m not breaking up with you so I can run to him. I’m
breaking up with you because I have feelings for him. I know he’s not good enough. Believe me, I
know.” I take a shaky breath. “I wish this was enough Alex, but it’s not, and you deserve to be enough.
You should be someone’s everything, and you will be. I really wish I was that someone, more than
you can possibly know.”
There’s a long beat of silence as we both take in what just happened. This is the end. I’ve had my
fair share of heartbreak, and I’ve broken many hearts, but this one feels so much more catastrophic
than the others. This is something that could have been great, and was tainted by my actions. Usually
when you walk away from a relationship, you do so for a reason. You weren’t compatible, or you
wanted different things, maybe you just weren’t that into it, but this is none of those. This was
something that had a future. I know that without Hugo in the picture I would have moved in with Alex
and probably married him, and I have no doubt I would have been happy.
This is so damn hard though.
“I would have given you everything, Molly.” He rasps.
“I know.” My voice breaks on a sob.
“So that’s it?” I can’t answer. He nods, accepting my silence as an answer to his question. “Then I
wish you the best of luck.”
“I’m so sorry.” I cry.
He turns away from me, but not before I catch his face crumple. He braces his hands on the
windowsill. “I think it would be best if you just go.”
I stand numbly for a moment, trying to find something, anything that would make this better, but
there is nothing. Some things just are horrible, and there is no way around it. This is one of those
times, no matter how much I wish I could fix this. I quietly leave the apartment with tears streaming
down my face and what feels like a knife in my chest.
By the time I get to the car I’m hysterically crying. Why does this hurt so much? I don’t know how
long I sit there with my hands clenched around the steering wheel. I want so badly to go back up those
stairs and take it all back, to let Alex hold me and make this pain go away. Heart break is always
brutal, but I’m doubled up with it, and it feels like my chest is being torn apart. I barely register the
door opening, and small arms wrapping around my shoulders. Lilly.
“How did….”
“Alex called me.” She murmurs into my hair. I cry harder. I just broke his heart and he still cares
enough to make sure I’m okay. I want him to shout at me, to tell me hates me, anything. Anything but
his kindness, because it’s killing me. This is all so fucked. For a moment I allow Lilly to just hold me,
to lend me some of that warrior strength that she brandishes like armour.
“Come on. I’ll send Theo for the car.” She guides me out of the car and across to the car park,
holding the passenger door of her car open for me. She doesn’t say anything on the ride back to her
house, just holds my hand whilst my heart bleeds out in her passenger seat.
When we get to her house she leads me straight up the stairs, to their open living area. “Okay, sit.”
She orders, pointing at the breakfast bar. I take a seat and lean my elbows on the bar, burying my face
in my hands.
“Oh god, I’m such an idiot.” I sniffle.
“Drink this.” She slides a glass of clear liquid across the bar to me. I pick up the glass and down
it in three gulps. It’s pure vodka, and I cough as it threatens to incinerate my oesophagus. She
immediately tops it up. This is Lilly all over, just drink until it doesn’t hurt anymore. Right now, I’m
totally appreciating her methods. This is a first for the both of us. Her the calm and collected one,
whilst I lose my shit and break down. I’m never that girl. Fuck, why can’t I stop crying?
Three more glasses of vodka later, I stop crying because I stop feeling. I’m just numb. Drunk and
numb. Vodka is like morphine for my shattered heart right now, so I just keep on drinking.
“So, are you going to tell me what happened?” Lilly asks tentatively.
“Hugo happened.”
“You’re going to have to elaborate.” She prompts.
“He came to me right at the last bloody minute and laid it all out.” I wave my hand around, before
slapping it down on the breakfast bar and taking another sip of my new best friend.
“Typical fucking Hugo.” She sighs.
“He’s a fucker.” I slur as tears threaten again. “He just let me think he didn’t care.” I slump
forward, resting my forehead against the cool granite work top. “I love him, and I fucking hate myself
for it.” My voice quivers. I lift my head and meet her eyes, expecting to see some sort of judgement,
fuck, I deserve judgement right now, but all I see is sympathy. That might be worse. “Alex should be
with someone who loves him to the moon and back. He’s such an amazing guy. I couldn’t keep doing
it, pretending like he was enough, because how can he be? If he was I wouldn’t be in love with
someone else as well.”
“That doesn’t make you a bad person Mole.” She says, her green eyes softening.
“I feel pretty fucking shitty right now.” I sniff. She takes the bottle of vodka and tops me up. I take
a big gulp, making a face at the disgusting taste. She laughs.
“Men suck balls babe, and this shit is never straight forward.”
“I think he’s the one.” I can hear the broken despair in my own voice.
“Who?” She asks cautiously.
I meet her eyes. “Hugo.” I whisper.
She sighs and closes her eyes, tilting her face towards the ceiling. “Of all the men who have fallen
at your feet Molly, you have to fall for the one that doesn’t. Hell, you fall for the baddest of the bad
boys.”
I nod pitifully. It’s so damn tragic when you look at it like that.
“What are you going to do?” She asks.
“I’m going to keep drinking Vodka until I forget his name, and then, I don’t know. I think I need
time.”
She nods. “Then take your time.”

They say that shit comes in piles, well ain’t that the fucking truth? The third pile hits the next
morning when I have to call my dad.
“Molly.” He answers the phone gruffly. I have a pounding fucking headache and my eyes are
swollen and soar from crying.
“Hey dad.” I croak.
“What’s wrong? Are you ill?” He almost sounds concerned. Almost, but not quite.
“No. I’m fine.” Ruined but fine. “Look, I need you to speak to the letting agent. I need to keep the
tenancy on the flat after all.” I cringe as I wait for the verbal beat down that I know I’m going to get.
“I thought you were moving in with that boy. In fact, if I remember rightly you were pretty adamant
about it.” I can hear the smug tone in his voice, but I don’t even have it in me to be angry about it. He
was right. Agreeing to move in with Alex was a mistake, just not for the reasons that I’m sure he’s
thinking.
“We broke up.” I say quietly.
There’s a beat of silence, and I can feel the weight of his judgement. Poor pathetic Molly, can’t
even keep a guy. I allow him to make his assumptions over Alex and I because honestly, I don’t feel
like talking about it and I don’t care.
“Molly, I think it’s time you stood on your own two feet, don’t you?” I swallow hard as he speaks
the words. When I told him I was moving in with Alex, I didn’t listen to his objections. I knew he just
wanted to keep control of me, and I was so bloody happy to be out from under his thumb, to have my
own life and stand on my own, with Alex by my side. Now though, I’m homeless. I have to take the
keys back to the agent today, and without my dad to pay the rent, there is no way I can afford it, even
with George to help pay for it, and he’s already moved in with one of his dancer friends yesterday.
I have savings and I can find somewhere else, but in twenty four hours? No. It’s fine. It will be
fine. Isn’t this what I wanted? To be free of him? This might be a good thing, but on top of everything
else that has happened in the last week I’m very fucking close to the edge. I don’t even respond, I
can’t. I hang up the phone and let it slip from my fingers, falling onto the duvet beneath me. My entire
life has flipped on it’s head in the space of a couple of weeks.
A few minutes later there’s a knock on the door, before it opens a crack and Lilly pokes her head
around the corner.
“Hey babe. I brought you coffee.” She steps into the room, holding a steaming cup in her hands.
“Thanks, and thank you for letting me stay last night.” I say quietly.
She pops the coffee down on the bedside table. “You know you’re always welcome here.” I nod
meekly, and she reaches out, brushing a stray strand of hair behind my ear. “I know it doesn’t feel like
it right now, but things will work out Mole. They always do in the end.”
“I just spoke to my dad.” I whisper, dropping my eyes to the discarded phone on the bed.
“And?”
I look up and meet her eyes. “I’m officially homeless right now.”
It really hits me right then, I could have had everything, but instead I have nothing in this moment.
There’s a very big part of me that just wants to curl up and sulk, but I refuse to be that person. I made
this situation, and I will damn well get myself out of it.
“You will never ever be homeless.” Lilly assures me, taking my hand. “Stay here for as long as
you like.”
“Thanks Lill’s. I don’t know what I would do without you.” I manage a small smile. “I just need a
few days, until I can find something else to rent.” I want her to know that as much as I appreciate her
help, I have no intention of imposing on her and Theo.
“For as long as you like.” She reiterates as she stands up. She leaves me alone with my thoughts,
going over everything I’ve done wrong.

I find my iPad, and skype call the one person who can make me feel batter and kick me up the arse
at the same time. My mum.
 CHAPTER TWENTY THREE
HUGO
I take a long drag of the joint, sucking back all that numbing goodness into my lungs. This stuff is
the shit.
Blondie groans as she sucks my cock, her head bobbing up and down. My head falls back against
the headboard as my mind starts to check out in a blurry haze. I can feel her mouth wrapped around
my dick, but I can’t really feel it, you know?
“Hugo!” Oh wait, she’s stopped. I tilt my head forward, frowning at her. Why has she stopped?
“Are you going to come any time today?”
I laugh. “Suck a little harder and maybe I might.” I drawl.
She slaps my chest hard enough to leave a sting behind. “You know what, fuck you!”
“Ah, don’t be like that.” I lift my hand to grab her, but my arm feels heavy and useless.
“You’re a fucking drunk.” She pulls her dress back up and zips it, before grabbing her bag and
storming out of the room. Actually I’m a stoner right now, and a drunk. I tilt my head to the side and
glance at the glowing red numbers of my bedside clock. It’s three in the afternoon. Nearly there.
Nearly made it through another day.
I am a man with nothing to lose and nothing to gain, I’m just existing. Funny how I always thought
I had everything. Nothing has changed, and yet suddenly I feel as though I have nothing, as though
every achievement in my life is now meaningless. I have no purpose. I’m lost.
I grab the bottle of whiskey off the bedside table and take big gulp. I have no idea how long I stay
there, but by the time I’m done I’ve smoked two joints and downed the entire bottle. I feel fucking
fantastic. I can barely see, and I definitely can’t think straight, which is exactly what I was aiming for.
There’s a knock on the door. I frown. No-one is here except me and Gary.
“Gaz?” I ask.
The door slowly creaks open until it hits the wall. Theo is standing in the doorway sporting a
designer suit. His eyebrows pulled together as he sighs heavily.
“Really Hugo?”
“Hey. Want some whiskey?” I hold up the bottle, but it’s empty. He cocks an eyebrow. “There’s
more.” I sit up and roll off the bed. Ah, fuck, I’m really pissed. I stagger towards the door, but he
steps forward, steering me back to the bed. I fall into a sitting position when the edge of the mattress
hits the back of my knees.
“You look like shit. Your flat looks like a fucking homeless person lives here. Where’s Maria?”
“Nice to see you too. I gave Maria some time off.” I can’t talk properly. My tongue feels fat in my
mouth.
“What are you doing?” He asks. I can almost feel the weight of his judgement, which is funny,
because when Lilly kicked him to the curb, I was pretty sure he was going to drink himself to death.
I’m not that drunk. I’m just stoned. That’s much safer, and I’d like to point out, more effective.
“Drinking.” Isn’t that obvious?
“And smoking weed.” He corrects.
I smile and my eyes start to close. My eyelids feel so heavy. “Yeah, it was good.”
He grabs my shoulders and shakes me, making my teeth rattle. “What?” I swat at him.
“You need to sort your shit out dude. You’ve been doing this for a week now. She rejected you. It
happens.”
 I can’t think of her without feeling sick. I feel like I’m fucking dying without her, and that shit is
fucked up. “I don’t want her.” I tell him.
“Oh really? So, the fact that she broke up with Alex is of no interest to you?”
My eyes fly open. “She broke up with Alex?” He nods. “Why didn’t you tell me you prick?”
He shrugs. “Because you would have made a move and she needs time.”
“Fuck her time. She needs to stop pretending. ”
He shakes his head. “Look, she’s in a shit place. Obviously she was moving in with Alex, and
then they broke up. Her dad wouldn’t renew the tenancy on the flat, so she’s living with us for now.”
I stare at him blankly for a few seconds. What am I supposed to say to that? Fuck, what if he found
out about me and her and broke up with her? That would suck. Okay, so I’ll admit that would make me
a little bit happier. I hate that guy, and I fucking hate the idea of her being with him, putting on that
bullshit good girl crap. I’m not selfless enough to think past that singular fact.
“Why did they break up?” I ask.
He shrugs. “Fuck knows, but I know she broke it off with him. Poor guy is fucking gutted.” As if I
give a shit.
I take a cigarette from the packet beside the bed and place it between my lips. I let the thick smoke
fill my lungs, clearing my head slightly. For the first time in over a week I don’t feel lost. I feel like I
need to do something, although I’m not sure what yet.
“You’ve got that look.” Theo narrows his eyes at me.
“What look? I have no look.” I say, waving my hand around. Ash from the cigarette falls all over
the bed.
He pries it from my fingers and throws it in the ash tray. “The look that says you’re going to do
something really fucking stupid.”
“I don’t do stupid things, I do genius things.” I tell him.
“Oh god.” He drags his hand down his face.
“You go play with Lilly. I’m fine.”
“You’re going to see Molly, aren’t you?”
“No.” I’m actually not. I once read in a girly magazine that women want a grand gesture. Well, I’m
going to give her a grand gesture alright.
“If you do, at least do yourself a favour and wash and shave. You look like a hobo.” With that he
picks up the discarded whiskey bottles from around the room and walks out the door. “And get Maria
back in here, it’s fucking gross.” He shouts from down the hallway. Dick.

I start to form a plan in my mind. Shit, I need coffee. I need to sober up, make some calls and get
shit together. I will fucking win Molly over if it kills me.

Five hours later and I’m ready. It’s amazing the things you can do if you have enough money.
I send Molly a text.
I know you don’t want to see me, but you are going to want to see this. Meet me here at
7pm. Xxx
I attach a map link and hit send. This is it, my grand gesture, my last ditch attempt. I’m not like
Theo, I’m not cut out for a ‘to the death’ chase. I’m flying blind here, because I have no idea what I’m
doing. I’m twenty nine years old and yet I’ve never done the dating thing, or certainly not properly. I
did date this girl in college, but I think I fucked half the female population of London while I was with
her. What can I say? I’m an arsehole.

Molly doesn’t text back. This might just be a huge waste of time. This is stupid. She made herself
perfectly fucking clear the last time I saw her. I’m not good enough for her, and don’t I fucking know
it.
I pace backwards and forwards in front of the window, over-looking a small park. Funny that I
own this flat, but I’ve never been inside it. It’s nice, not too big but in a good location. I take a sip of
my espresso. I’ve managed to sober up, but I have a hangover kicking in. A shot of whiskey would
sort me out, but I need to be sober for this. I check my watch. Seven fifteen.
I’ve pretty much accepted that she’s not coming, when I hear a soft knock from the front door. I left
the door ajar, hoping that she would turn up. The door creaks open slowly, revealing Molly, standing
motionless. She freezes when she sees me, her eyes slowly lifting to meet mine. She looks different,
harder somehow, angry.
“I didn’t think you would come.” I tell her honestly.
She takes a heavy breath. “Neither did I.”
My eyes rake over her body. She looks fucking hot. She’s got those damn thigh high boots on that
make me want to fuck her senseless. Her dress is so short and tight that it leaves a wide strip of her
toned thighs exposed. I inhale sharply, as my cock instantly hardens. I don’t think I’ve ever had a
hard-on I didn’t want, but I really don’t want to stand here with a raging erection while she tells me
again how I’m not fucking good enough.

“Why have you brought me here, Hugo?” She asks.

“To help.” I drag my hand through my hair. She narrows her eyes and put a hand on her hip.
“How are you going to help me?” I close the distance between us until I’m standing in front of her.
“Hold out your hand.” She flashes me a suspicious look but obeys. I grab her wrist, and drop the
keys to the flat into her palm. “It’s yours.” I say quietly before closing her fingers around the cool
metal.
Her eyes slowly lift to mine. I watch as she slowly comprehends what just happened. “What do
you mean, it’s mine?” She whispers.
“I used to own this flat, and now you own it, just as soon as you sign the paperwork.” I nod
toward the coffee table where the solicitor has left the paperwork and a bottle of champagne.
“Oh my god.” She says angrily. “You’re unbelievable.” Okay, not the reaction I was going for.
“You can’t fucking buy me, Hugo!”
“I’m not trying to buy you.” I argue. “I’m just trying to help.” Why would she be mad about this?
I’ll never understand women.
“You don’t just buy someone a flat!”
I shrug. “I have more money than I know what to do with.” She watches me closely. “And I can’t
stand the idea of you being unhappy. I’m not trying to buy you, I just care about you and I want you to
have a place to call your own, that’s all.” I turn towards the door. She hates me, and I deserve that.
I’m nearly at the door when she speaks. “Why do you do this!?” She shouts, her voice trembling.
“Do what?” I snap, glancing over my shoulder at her. There’s no fucking pleasing her. Whatever I
do is wrong.
“Do you want to hurt me? Do you enjoy it?” A tear slips down her cheek as her body visibly
shakes.
I spin around and take a step towards her. “What? No, of course not.”
 “Why are you doing this?” She asks quietly.
I pause. Why am I doing this? I know the answer, but I don’t want to voice it. I take a deep breath
and meet her eyes. “You know why.” I growl.
There’s a beat of silence, and my teeth are clenched so hard I feel like they’re going to crack.
She picks up the bottle of champagne off the table and throws it at me, I dodge it and it smashes
into the wall behind me. “Fuck you!”
“Molly…”
“You’re so full of shit, Hugo! You don’t want me, you just don’t want anyone else to have me!”
She screams.
“No…”
“You’re a fucking arsehole!” Next, she grabs a vase, throwing it until it smashes on the floor. “I’m
not your toy!”

“I fucking love you, you crazy bitch!” I shout, as I dodge her handbag which she throws at my
head.
There’s a brief pause as we both absorb what I just said. Fuck, I said that out loud.
“You don’t get to say that to me!” She screams, tears streaming down her face as her whole body
trembles.
Without hesitation I close the gap between us and pull her into my arms. She struggles and tries to
push me away. “Fuck you!” She rasps through her tears. I don’t let go. I hold her until the fight leaves
her and she cries into my chest. I did this to her, and for the first time in my life, I feel guilty for my
actions.
“I’m sorry.” I mumble, into her hair.
“What do you want from me?” She cries.
I watch her for a second, debating what to say, but fuck it, what have I got to lose? She already
fucking hates me. I have no right to ask anything of her, but I can’t not ask her for this. “You know
what I want. I want you.”
There’s a long silence as her sobs quiet, replaced by her heavy breaths. “I can’t do this with you.”
She shakes her head, and pushes away from me slightly. “You won’t just hurt me Hugo, you will
fucking ruin me.” Her voice breaks. “And when you fuck up it will destroy me.”
I brush a strand of hair off her face and tuck it behind her ear. “I can’t promise that I won’t fuck
up, but won’t the high be worth the fall?”
Her eyes lock with mine and I can see the indecision in them. “Not if the fall breaks me.” She
breathes.
“And what if you don’t fall?” I whisper.
“You have to come down from the high at some point. That’s the problem with you, when it’s good
it doesn’t compare to anyone or anything else, but when it’s bad, I wish I’d never met you.” Her voice
trembles. “You make me want you in one breath and hate you the next.”
I wrap my arms around her tighter, terrified of letting her go. “I won’t fuck this up again Molly. I
don’t know how to do this, but you have me in knots over here babe.” I have to convince her. I need
her.
“Hugo, you have no idea what a relationship entails. You can’t even keep it in your pants, and I
can’t watch you fuck other women.”
A small smile pulls at my lips as I gently cup her cheek. Her eyes flutter shut as she draws in a
ragged breath. “I don’t want other women. I just want you.”
 She presses her lips together opens her eyes. “You ask too much.”
I shake my head. “I only ask for a chance.” Her eyes search my face. I guess she’s looking for
some kind of justification, something tangible that makes me worth the risk. “You said you loved
me.” I breathe.
 CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR
MOLLY
“You said you loved me.” His voice rasps, caressing over my senses. My heart yearns for him in a
way that’s almost painful. I don’t know how long I have secretly wanted him to say the words, to tell
me he loves me, and now he’s here, and he said it. He loves me.
My stupid heart is trying to do summersaults in my chest. My mind desperately throws at me every
glaringly obvious reason as to why this is wrong. You will crash and burn, a voice whispers in the
back of my mind, but I can’t physically fight him. I am extremely likely to get hurt, but I can’t seem to
find it in me to care. He’s fucked up, he’s hurt me, he’s rejected me more than once, but it doesn’t
matter, because he’s ‘the one.’ No matter how much I try to tell myself to be strong, to walk away…
when he stands there with that look on his face begging me to give him a chance, how can I not?
No-one ever said that love was straight forward. The heart doesn’t play fair.
His fingers grasp my chin, gently tilting my face up to look at him. “Tell me you don’t love me and
I’ll walk away right now.”
I close my eyes and take a steadying breath. “I can’t.” I whisper. I feel his lips press softly against
mine, careful, prying. My pulse skitters wildly in my veins, my body gravitating toward him
automatically. I can’t fight him. I never could. No matter how much I want to. The second his lips
touch me, it’s over.
My fingers work their way into his hair, as his hands grip my waist, pulling my body up against
his. Our tongues move against each other before he nips at my bottom lip. I can’t breathe. My skin
feels like it’s burning up.
“I want you.” I hear myself saying. I’m normally fairly controlled, except when I’m around him.
He makes me act without thought, on pure instinct.
He smiles against my mouth. “I’m all yours, sweetness.” He nips at my lip. “Do your worst.” He
practically fucks the words as he growls them.
I can’t move fast enough. My hands glide up his body, pushing under his shirt and feeling the
taught muscles of his stomach. I lightly drag my nails across his skin as I work his shirt up his body,
making him hiss out a breath. His lips leave mine only to slip the shirt over his head.
“Fuck, I missed you.” His voice is a low rumble that has me clenching my thighs together. His
fingers roughly fist my hair, yanking my head back as he slams his lips over mine. Everything about
him is frantic and raw. I claw at his belt, my fingers fumbling with the buckle. I’m almost there, when
he releases my hair and slides his hands down my body, thrusting his tongue into my mouth the entire
time. He pulls my skirt up, and grabs my arse, lifting me. My legs instantly wrap around his waist, his
bare skin hot and smooth against the insides of my thighs.
He lays me down on the hard unyielding dining table, his body covering mine, his lips assaulting
my neck. I can hear my own breathing, which is embarrassingly loud. I feel his hands on my hips, and
then a tearing sound and the bite of material on my skin as he tears my underwear from my body.
“I would take my time with you, but I’m too fucking horny.” He rumbles, pulling his face from my
neck. His eyes meet mine, sparking violently. “I know I said I love you, but I’m going to fuck you like
I hate you.” Oh my god. My pussy clenches hard.
He trails one finger teasingly across my pussy. “Always so wet for me, sweetness.” He huffs a
laugh, and I hear the unmistakeable sound of a zip being lowered. His presses against my pussy, and I
squirm, wanting more. His hand gently presses down on my throat, his fingers tightening on either
side, pinning me to the table. My pulse quickens in excitement. He knows me better than I know
myself. He knows what turns me on and he does it without even asking.
He grips his cock and drives forward in one hard thrust, filling me completely. “Fuck!” I cry out,
as my pussy trembles around him. He squeezes his eyes shut and clenches his jaw.
“Fucking hell, I’ve missed this pussy.” He groans through shallow breaths.
I lift my leg hooking it over his shoulder and using it to leverage my hips up against him. He leans
forward, pushing my leg back against my chest, sliding deeper inside me. A moan slips from my lips
as he hits the pleasure pain barrier.
He pulls out and slams forward again, making my back bow off the table as my fingers rake down
his chest. He picks up a punishing rhythm, pounding into me unforgivingly. True to his word, he fucks
me like he hates me. He pulls my hair, yanking my head to the side and biting down on my neck. When
I writhe underneath him he holds me down my throat, my arms, his grip bruising and possessive.
When I claw at his back, he holds my wrists together above my head.
He lowers his lips to my nipple, and bites down gently, as he grinds his cock deep inside me.
Everything inside me tightens, my pussy clamping around him, trying to pull him deeper.
“Oh fuck!” I scream, fighting against his restraining grip. He quickens, thrusting violently before
he stiffens with a hoarse cry.
He falls forward, pressing his face into my heaving chest. Oh my god. I don’t know if that was
really rough sex or just outright abuse. I love it.
My wrists and neck feel bruised, and my scalp feels like it’s on fire.
I feel the soft brush of his lips over my chest and down my stomach, before he moves off me,
pushing up onto his hands.
“I really missed you.” He says, flashing me that trademark cocky grin of his.
“You missed my vagina. It’s not the same.”
“Well, it’s attached…”
I slap at his chest and try to sit up. “You are such a dog.”
He smiles and presses forward, pushing me back down on the table and kissing me. “Don’t
pretend you don’t love it.” He whispers before biting my bottom lip.
This time he does get off me. I watch as he pulls off a condom, throwing it in a waste paper bin by
the TV. I blush, because I didn’t even see him put one on, and god knows, I wasn’t thinking about it.
Shit.
My eyes zoom in on a patch of black on his chest.
“What the hell is that?” I point at what looks like a tattoo.
He sighs. “A tattoo.”
I narrow my eyes, trying to read the swirling black ink, that is clearly letters. “What does it say?”
He drags his hand over his face. “Okay, don’t get mad. I was drunk, and in Vegas. Standard rules
do not apply there.”
I sit up and cross my arms over my chest. “Spit it out.”
“It says Crystal.” He cringes.
“Who is Crystal?” I ask slowly.
“Okay, interesting story...”
“Hugo!” I snap.
“She’s a stripper.” He pauses. I say nothing. “I’d like to point out a stripper who can get two balls
in her mouth at once though. That shit deserves some immortalisation. ”
“Wow.” What, does she have a jaw like a fucking snake? “Really?” He nods. “Okay, that’s
impressive.” I shrug.
“Wait. You’re not pissed?” He ask carefully.
I roll my eyes and stand up, pulling my dress down. “Honestly Hugo, I’m surprised it hasn’t
happened before now.”
“Huh, I guess you’re right.” Of course I’m right.
He yanks his jeans back up from around his ankles, and fastens his belt. I watch the flexion of the
muscles across his torso as he moves. His chest and back are marred with angry red lines, clearly
visible in the soft light from a lamp in the corner. I’m not even sorry, fucker deserves it. I’m going to
have bruises tomorrow, and that’s just my wrists. I’m not even talking about my vagina.
“Keep watching me like that, sweetness and I’ll want to fuck you again.” He says without looking
at me. How does he do that? It freaks me out.
I pull my dress down again. I’m having to go sans underwear again, thanks to it being ripped.
Fucking Hugo. “I’m not looking at you like anything. You’re just a pervert.” I cock an eyebrow at him,
waiting for him to deny it. He doesn’t.
He moves to the window and opens it slightly. He then takes a cigarette from his pocket and
places it between his lips. He tilts his head to the side slightly as he cups his hands around the flame
of his lighter. I don’t know what it is about that simple action, but he always makes it so hot. I don’t
like smoking usually, but I like it on him. On him, it looks damn good.
There’s this sort of awkward silence between us, as he takes slow drags of his cigarette. Smoke
billows around him, and the bright red end of his cigarette glows in the dark corner of the window.
The longer he says nothing, the more my mind starts to frantically look for a way out. Maybe he
only said those things to get in my pants. I mean, come on, this is Hugo. He can’t possibly love me, I
just wanted to believe that in the heat of the moment. Now though, now it seems so fucking ridiculous.
“Stop.” His voice is a low rumble from the corner of the room. He turns to face me, and his eyes
twinkle in the dim light. “I can practically hear you thinking from here.”
He really needs to stop doing that. “It’s just…”
“Just nothing.” He cuts me off. “I told you how I feel. I don’t bullshit, so don’t question it.”
“We need to talk about this.” I don’t know where we go from here. He tried to buy me a flat for
fuck’s sake.
He sighs heavily, exhaling a long stream of smoke before flicking his cigarette out the window.
“Okay, I will do the girly talking shit for you.”
He moves across the room, and stops in front of me, crossing his arms over his chest. “Talk.”
“It’s just, you can’t just go from being a total whore, to suddenly wanting a relationship. It doesn’t
work like that.”
He smirks. “It wasn’t sudden. I liken you more to a flesh eating parasite, wearing me down.
Slowly.” I punch him in the arm and he laughs.
“You’re a dick. You know what I mean.”
He shrugs. “I don’t know what you want to hear, Molly. I’m not some reformed man if that’s what
you’re thinking.”
“Do you even know what a relationship entails?” I ask.
“Uh, like we were before, but all the fucking is with you?” He says sheepishly as he drags his
hands through his dirty blonde hair, leaving it in a wild mess. “Look, I can’t give you hearts and
flowers, sweetness. You know I’m not that guy.” He says honestly.
“I don’t want hearts and flowers, I just want everything.” I whisper.
“Everything?”
 I nod. “Everything you have to give. Nothing more, and nothing less.”
He steps closer to me, winding his fingers into my hair. “I would give you the fucking world if
you asked for it, Molly, you know I would.”
“But instead you just decided to give me a flat.” I say flatly.
He smirks and places a chaste kiss on my lips. “I’m a grand gesture kind of guy.”
“No flowers, but a flat, that’s fine.” I mumble. “You know I can’t accept this?”
He rolls his eyes and moves away from me, dropping onto the sofa. His head falls back against
the back like a teenager that can’t be bothered to have a conversation. “Why not? That whole, ‘it’s too
much thing’ is really boring you know?”
I stand in front of him with my hands on my hips. “Hugo, this place must be worth at least half a
million.” I shriek.
“And I am gifting it to you.” He lifts his head, his eyes locking with mine before he reaches out
and pulls me onto his lap. “Please, can we not fight about this? Just take it, be happy. You’re happy,
I’m happy. Win-win.” How can anyone be so casual about giving away a flat?
The thing is with Hugo, he just works on a different level of normal to the rest of us. He doesn’t
see why this might make me uncomfortable. He’s not my dad. He’s not trying to control me, he’s just
trying to help.
I take a cleansing breath. “Okay. I have an idea.”
“I’m all ears.” He says, gently nuzzling my neck, whilst he gropes my boob.
“I’ll rent the flat from you.”
He pulls his face out of my neck, a huge smile on his lips. “Oh, yeah, payment in kind.” He
wiggles his eyebrows. “You’ll have to learn to get two balls in your mouth though.” He smirks
cockily.
“No.” I sigh. “Payment in money, and I am not a fucking snake!”
He scowls. “Well that’s not as fun.” He grumbles. “Fine, you pay whatever you want. I really
don’t care, babe. I just want you to have a home, and be happy.”
My lips quirk up at the corners. “I am happy.”
He narrows his eyes. “I just made you come, it so doesn’t count.”
I lean in and kiss him. He may have his flaws, okay so a lot of flaws, but deep down, he’s a good
guy. I have no idea whether this will work out or not. I just know that some things in life are worth the
risk. When you find that person that can make you smile with a single look, and want to sacrifice
everything for them, then it’s worth the risk, because believe me, love like that doesn’t come around
every day. They say it’s better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all. I believe that. A
love like that is worth getting ruined for, just to experience it for a short time. The greatest risks are
always taken for greater rewards.
Whether or not I’ll reap the rewards…only time will tell.
 CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE
HUGO
Three months later…

“Happy birthday, sweetness.” I kiss Molly’s neck and roll my hips against her pussy, just so she
knows I have morning wood. She smiles, but doesn’t open her eyes. She looks all sexy and sleepy this
morning. “I want a birthday blow job.”
She frowns and slaps my chest. “It’s my birthday, you arse. You can give me head.” She squints
one eye open.
“You gonna sit on my face?” I bite my bottom lip and wiggle my eyebrows at her. My cock
twitches at the thought of her riding my face.
Her lips pull up into a small smile. “Only if you behave, and let me sleep.” She groans, trying to
roll out from underneath me.
I grab her wrists and pin them on either side of her head on the pillow. “I don’t behave, and I’m
horny right now.” I release her wrists and grab her waist, rolling over and pulling her on top of me.
“Hugo!” She squeals, giggling. She falls forward, bracing her hands on my chest. Her hair falls
round her face, and I sweep it back as I grab the nape of her neck pulling her in for a kiss.
“No, I have morning breath!”
“Don’t fucking care.” She giggles as I pull her in, pressing my lips to hers. She keeps her lips
firmly shut, refusing to open her mouth.
“If I can’t put my tongue in your mouth, I’m definitely putting it in your pussy.” I growl against her
lips. I grab the backs of her thighs and yank her upwards, until her thighs are either side of my chest.
“Hugo!” She shrieks, her hands flying out, before she face plants the headboard. I laugh as I
manoeuvre down the bed, positioning myself under her pussy.
“You are…” I drag my teeth up the inside of her thigh, and her words are lost on a breathy gasp.
I kiss her between her legs, through the lace of her knickers. Her hips instinctively roll forward,
and I smile.
I slide the lace to the side and get a glimpse of her pussy. My cock is so fucking hard it hurts. True
to my word, I thrust my tongue inside her, tasting her.
“Oh fuck.” She moans, grinding her hips against me.
I lick, suck and nip at her pussy and clit, until she’s riding my face and screaming my name like a
fucking prayer. When she’s shaking and twitching uncontrollably, I buck her off me and slam her back
down on the mattress.
A small smile pulls at her lips as her breathing starts to slow. I kneel over her and place a kiss on
her mouth, swiping my tongue along the seam of her lips.
“Happy birthday, sweetness.”

“Where are we going?” Molly asks impatiently, bouncing up and down in her seat.
“You do know the definition of the word surprise, right?” I love her excitement. I love the little
smile she’s wearing right now because of that excitement.
“Hugo! We’ve been on this jet for hours.” She huffs. “Is it hot there?” She probes.
I sigh. “Yes, it’s hot.”
She narrows her eyes. “Is there a beach?”
“I’m not telling you, that was a one question shot.”
 She gasps. “It should be at least three!”
“Says who?”
“It’s always three. Don’t you know anything?”
“Dear god woman, you’re going to drive me to drink at this rate.” I drag my hand over my face in
exasperation. At this rate I’m going to kill her before we even get there!
A few hours later and the plane starts to come in to land. Molly presses her face to the window,
desperately surveying the ground below us. It’s dark, and in this case, that makes our location easier
to identify.
“Vegas!” She screams. “You brought me to Vegas!”
I laugh. “I brought you to Vegas.”
She lets out a little girly squeal, before turning in her seat to face me. She grabs my face and slams
her lips over mine. “You are so getting laid tonight.” She flashes me a wry smile, cocking an
eyebrow.
I wind my hand around her neck, keeping her lips against mine. “I get laid every night sweetness.
You’d best come up with something better than that. You remember that time you kissed a girl…”
She rolls her eyes. “Aaand you ruined it.” She pulls away from my hold and I laugh.
“Just saying, if you want to thank me.”
“You’re an animal.” She says, sounding bored.
“You love that I’m an animal.” I say, leaning over and nipping at her neck.
“I love that you brought me to Vegas.” Her smile widens. “And I love you.”

“Oh my god! We won!” Molly screams, throwing her arms around my neck.
Holy shit, she’s like a fucking good luck charm. I should bring her to Vegas with me more often.
So far, we’re a hundred grand up.
Her eyes light up, as the people watching our poker table clap. My eyes sweep over her body. She
looks seriously hot. That dress might as well be painted onto her slim form.
“We won.” I whisper in her ear. “Want to go celebrate?”
She gets that look in her eye, the look that tells me I’m about to have a really fucking good time.
“Naked celebrations?” She says, flashing me a seductive smile. Oh hell yes!
I’ve never cashed out chips and left a casino so fast in my fucking life. I pull Molly along as she
runs to keep up, teetering on her high heels. We get in the lift, and there’s a fat guy in a cowboy hat
waiting to go up. I press the button for the presidential suite, and he does a double take, looking me
over before turning around to face the doors again. Molly tucks into my side, and I trail a hand down
her spine, cupping her arse and giving it a squeeze. She elbows me, and I jump away grinning. The
cowboy gets out on the twelfth floor, and as soon as the doors close she pushes me against the side of
the lift.
“Feisty sweetness.” I murmur as her lips brush over my jaw.
“Everyone loves a winner.” She whispers.
My cock pops up, just begging me to fuck her right here in the lift. I turn, and grab her waist,
lifting her until she rests on the hand rail. I slot between her parted legs and her thighs clench around
me.
“Does it make you wet?” I growl against her ear.
She grabs my hand, guiding it under her dress and between her legs, where I find she has no
underwear on. She slowly drags my fingers across her pussy, biting her lip and throwing her head
back as my fingers move over her.
“Damn it, Molly, I’m about two fucking seconds away from fucking you right here.” I say through
gritted teeth.
She cocks an eyebrow. “So fuck me.” Fuck, I love this side of her. The lift glides to a halt, and the
doors open, revealing a shocked looking couple on the other side. I smile and pull my hand out from
under Molly’s dress. I lower her to the ground and then bend at the waist throwing her over my
shoulder.
“Hugo!” She shrieks.
“Good evening.” I wink at the woman, clinging to her husband’s arm. She blushes and tries to
look anywhere but at me. I’m told it’s the accent. I swear to god, I only have to say hello to these
American women and they’re practically begging me to fuck them, whilst talking ‘British’ to them of
course.
For once in my life though, I have no interest. The only pussy I want inside is Molly’s. Right now.
I walk down the hall, and slide the key card into the lock. As soon as the door swings open, I
drop her, sliding her body over every inch of mine.
I slam the door, and she’s all over me. Her hands grip my face, as she kisses me hard. Her tongue
thrusts into my mouth, and I can taste wine on her lips. She rips my shirt open, popping buttons
everywhere, and then her hands are everywhere, her nails dragging across my bare stomach before
they yank at the button on my trousers, opening them and forcing them down my thighs. Her fingers
dive into my boxers, wrapping around my waiting cock.
I hiss out a breath and grab a handful of her hair, as her fist pumps my cock. My head falls
forward, and my lips skim her throat, making her breath hitch and her back bow, pressing her chest
against me. Her free hand wraps around the back of my neck, her nails digging into my skin and
pulling me closer. I grip her hair harder, tilting her head to the side and nipping her earlobe.
“I want to fuck you so hard right now.” I growl against her neck.
She grabs a handful of my hair, and pulls my face back to hers, biting my bottom lip. “So fuck me
already.”
I have her skirt yanked up before she’s even finished speaking. I spin her around and push her
over the back of a nearby sofa, holding her down with a hand on the back of her neck. She pushes
back against me, pressing her arse against my rigid cock. I clench my teeth and run a finger over her
wet pussy, making her moan and strain against my hold.
Without warning I thrust two fingers into her, and her body bucks as her pussy clenches around my
fingers. I press my chest against her back and adjust my hold on her, gripping her chin and tilting it up.
I skim my lips over her jaw, as I pump my fingers into her, making her moan and squirm underneath
me.
“Oh, I’m going to fuck you sweetness.” I groan. “Don’t you worry about that.”
I pull out of her and yank my boxers down, releasing my cock. I press against her, teasing her.
“Now!” She demands. So fucking impatient.
I let out a growl and slam balls deep inside her in one thrust. She clenches around me and I grit
my teeth as I take deep breaths. Oh, fuck, she feels so good. She immediately bows her back and
pushes back against me, grinding up and down on my cock.
“Such a needy little slut.” I grate out as I pull out and thrust into her again. She throws her head
back, and lets out a long moan.
I pound into her, never letting up, until she’s writhing and screaming under me, and then I stop,
picking her up and throwing her down on the sofa on her back.
 “What the fuck Hugo?” She gasps. Her face is flushed, and her chest is heaving. I smile cockily as
I round the sofa. Her legs are parted, her dress still hitched up, her stilettos still on. I do love to fuck a
girl in stilettos. My eyes trace her long legs, taking in that gorgeous pussy on full display. My cock
throbs painfully.
She watches me, watching her, and bites her bottom lip. Her fingers drift to her inner thigh,
moving slowly upward. I kneel on the cushions in front of her, and follow the line of her fingers with
my own. She strokes over her pussy and dips one finger inside with a small moan. Fuck, she’s so
sexy.
“Molly.” I groan.
She closes her eyes and throws her head back as she finger fucks herself. “Do you want me
Hugo?” She moans breathily.
“You have no fucking idea.” I mumble.
She pulls her hand away from her pussy and sits up, bringing her face level with mine. “Then taste
me.” She says it so innocently, with the face of an angel, and yet…she’s so far from angelic as she
traces her finger over my bottom lip. I flick my tongue out and lick her fingertip, tasting the saltiness
of her pussy. Her eyes spark as they fix on my lips.
“Not nearly enough.” I grin, grabbing her hips as I wrench her towards me, dragging her down the
sofa and making her fall back into the cushions. I flash her a smile and dive between her legs,
dragging my tongue over her pussy. She moans long and loud as she grinds her hips up into my face. I
will never get enough of the taste of her. She hooks one leg over my shoulder, digging the spiked heel
of her shoe into my back, and pulling me closer. I laugh, blowing a stream of air across her clit.
“Demanding.” I mutter. She digs her heel in harder.
“Put your fucking mouth on me.” She tries for commanding, but her voice is so strained that the
effect is lost.
I suck her clit into my mouth, and her hands fly into my hair. I love unleashing her like this. She’s
just an animal waiting to be uncaged, she always has been.
I lick, suck and nip at her until my lips are covered in her juices, and she’s all but ripping my hair
out, and then I go in for the kill, swirling my tongue over her clit and slipping two fingers inside her.
She screams my name and her pussy threatens to break my fucking fingers as she comes.
“Fuck!” She gasps, finally releasing her death grip on my hair. My balls feel like they’re about to
explode. I grab her other leg, hooking it over my shoulder, and move up her body, plunging my cock
inside her. Her legs tense around my neck as she lets out a strangled moan. Her pussy spasms around
me, and I struggle not to come instantly. A wicked smile lights her face, as she uses my shoulders to
leverage against me and grind into me. Fuck, I’m so fucking deep at this angle, and she feels so
fucking good. I sit back and grab her under her hips, keeping her arse off the sofa, and relinquishing
her leverage.
“If you think you’re topping from the bottom, think again.” I smirk, picking up the pace and
pumping into her. She reaches for the arm of the sofa above her head, clinging to it as I fuck her
mercilessly. I pound her like a man possessed, until my balls tighten and tingles shoot down my spine.
“Fuck, Hugo!” She screams. That does it. I come like a fucking train, shouting fuck knows what. I
swear my vision blurs, and my head swims like I’ve just drunk an entire bottle of tequila.
I collapse on top of her, resting my head between her tits. Her skin is damp with sweat, and her
breathing is laboured. When I can breathe again I sit up. Her eyes are closed, her fingers still gripping
the arm of the couch. Her hair is a tangled disarray around her face. I reach out and push a chunk of
hair off her cheek. Her eyes flutter open and meet mine.
 “That was so good.” She pants.
I smirk. “It’s always so good.” I drop a slow kiss on her lips.
“True.” She breathes.
I pull out of her and sit up. “Right, get dressed, we’re going out.” I tell her.
“Out where?”
“It’s Vegas. Out everywhere.”
She frowns. “If I come back with some god awful tattoo I’m going to kill you. That is one club that
I do not wish to be a part of.”
I smile. “You sure you don’t want my name tattooed on your arse? You could just have HUG, and
then your hole could be the O.”
She throws her arms down either side of her on the sofa as she sighs. “Wow, just wow.”
She gets up and heads for the bathroom. “Just think about it.” I call after her, laughing.
 CHAPTER TWENTY SIX
MOLLY
I groan and roll over, squinting against the bright morning light. Oh, my head! I can feel a heavy
pulsing against the backs of my eyes, resonating through my temples.
I really have to wee, so I remove Hugo’s arm from across my waist, and get out of the enormous
bed. I make my way slowly to the bathroom, and the room feels like it’s spinning violently. I rush the
last few steps and reach the loo just in time to throw up in it. I hold my hair back as my stomach
rejects everything. Oh god, this is so not good.
By the time I’m finished, I’m hiccupping and crying. I feel gross. It’s when I put my hand out in
front of me to pull the loo seat down that I notice the massive fucking rock on my finger. Oh, fuck no. I
wipe the tears from my eyes so I can see better. There on the ring finger of my left hand is a diamond,
like a really fucking big diamond. That alone has me struggling to breathe, but what has my
hyperventilating is the thin silver band next to it. A wedding band.
I frantically scramble to my feet and wash my mouth out in the sink, before storming back into the
bedroom.
“Hugo!” He barely grunts. Please tell me I at least married him and not a stranger last night. I
can’t remember anything. Why can’t I remember this? I should fucking remember getting married.
Wait, maybe I didn’t get married, maybe I just got the rings. I glance at it again. That’s a fucking big
diamond.
I grab his left hand and lift it. There sat on his left hand is a thicker silver band. Okay, breathe. It’s
fine. What’s the worst case scenario here? I married Hugo, and now he’s going to wake up and freak
the fuck out because up until three months ago he’d never even had a girlfriend! Fuck.
Hugo stirs, blinking his eyes open. “Hey sweetness.” He croaks, taking my hand and pulling me
down on the bed next to him. He wraps his arm around me, squeezing my boob.
“Hugo, we need to talk.” I mumble.
“Hmmm.” He mumbles into my hair. “The ‘you talk while I hump’ kind of talking?”
“No, the ‘why the fuck am I wearing a wedding ring’ kind of talking.” I hold up my hand, literally
counting down the seconds until he freaks out, runs through the hotel room and throws himself out a
window.
He cracks an eye open and his eyebrows pull together as he studies the ring. He then lifts his own
hand.
“Huh.” That’s it, just huh. I wait for the full on freak out, but it doesn’t come. “Oh yeah, I do
remember that.”
“Well I fucking don’t!” I shout.
He sighs. “Okay. You said I owed you a trip to Tiffany’s, because it was your birthday, and you
helped me win all that money.” He says through a yawn. “Which by the way, I won all on my own.
Anyway, I took you to Tiffany’s like the dutiful boyfriend I am, and bought you that ring. The woman
assumed it was an engagement ring, so I got down on one knee in the shop. You said yes, and I took
you to get married.”
“Was it Elvis?” I ask cringing.
“Hell fucking yes it was Elvis.” He says, smiling.
“Oh god. Lilly is going to kill me.” Like, rearrange my internal organs.
He shrugs. “So, you going to have your way with me then, ‘wifey’?” He says with a smirk.
 I press a hand on his chest as he tries to pull me closer. “Wait, that’s it. You’re not going to say
anything else?” I ask.
“Nothing to say.”
“Hugo, this is a big deal. We drunkenly got married.”
A confused expression crosses his face again, and he rolls me until I’m on top of him, straddling
his body. “Why is it a big deal? It doesn’t change anything. I still love you.” He smiles cockily as he
leans in, brushing his lips up the side of my throat. “I still want you.” He breathes, working his lips to
my ear. “And I still want to fuck you. Really, really badly.”
My body melts against his as my eyes flutter closed, and I tilt my neck, giving him better access.
“You asked me to marry you?” I ask.
“Yep.” He nips at my earlobe.
“Why?”
“Because I was drunk.” He laughs.
“Wow, romantic grounds for a marriage.” I sigh. “Hugo, we can get this annulled…”
He grabs my chin, and tilts my face back until my eyes meet his. “Why would I want it annulled? I
love you, Molly. You’re my best friend.” My heart thuds heavily against my ribs.
“I love you too.” I breathe, before I kiss him.
 EPILOGUE
If you had told me six months ago that I would marry Hugo, I would have laughed. Hell, I would
have laughed if you told me that Hugo would get married, full stop.
It’s been three months now, and he’s the best husband a girl could want. I married my best friend,
my unexpected soul mate. He’s not a hearts and flowers guy, and I wouldn’t want him to be, because
love is not shown in a gesture, it’s shown in the little things, the everyday things that we take for
granted.
He may not be prince charming, but he’s my perfectly fucked up version.
Love and happiness are one and the same, one cannot exist without the other.
Sometimes we must risk it all for love, for that all-encompassing feeling that so many before us
have strived for, that wars have been fought for, and men have died for. Love is that which we most
covet, our very reason for existence.
Call me a romanticist if you will, but I believe that love conquers all…eventually.
Hugo was right. The high was worth the risk of falling, because even if I fall now, I will always
know what it is to soar.
Love is a war. She who dares…wins
 DEAR READER
Thank you so much for reading Ruined. This is my fourth book now, and it still hasn’t sunk in that
people might actually want to read my books.
If you have already read Besieged, Conquered and Surrendered, thank you so much for sticking
with me and supporting me throughout this crazy journey.
If this is the first of my books that you’ve read, then thank you so much for taking a chance on me.
Hugo is a pretty full on introduction to my work!
I could not do this without you, and nor would I want to. You make what I do worthwhile.
I look forward to bringing you new stories in the future.
 ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
So many people have helped me out and supported me with my books over the last year.
I have to give a huge, huge shout out to the lovely SM Piper, my cover designer. Thank you for not
only this cover, but all of my amazing covers. I know I like to test your Photoshop skills to the max.
You are extremely patient, and you know I love you dearly.
While I’m talking about the cover, I also have to thank Uncovered models and Garrick Murdie for
that amazing cover shot.
Thank you to Ellen from The Book Bellas. Ellen is an amazing blogger, and is also my editor. You
are the best editor a girl could want, and a truly amazing person. Thank you so much for all that you
do.
Leigh Stone. You have proven to be worth your weight in gold girl, what with formatting and
website design, and generally just being awesome and helpful. I love you chick.
Miss Stevie J. Cole, my American boo, my co-author and my would be lesbian lover…What
would I do without you? I love put four hour long video calls where I cry about my current WIP.
Haha! I can’t wait to come and see you.
Thank you so much to all the ladies on my street team. You campaign endlessly to put my books in
the public eye. I love all of you, but I need to say special thanks to Anne, Mary, Sarah, Devlynn and
Joanna. You all bring something different to the table. You tell it how it is. You support me always. I
would be lost without you girls.
There are many blogs who have helped me along the way, and you are all hugely appreciated,
believe me. There are a few who are very special though.
Give Me Books and One-Click Addicts. What can I say? I emailed Kylie one day asking if she
would do a release Blitz for Conquered. Now, three books later, I can honestly say I could not do this
without her. The girls who run both blogs are amazing. Devlynn and Missy in particular are just
awesome. I love all of you girls so much, and I’m so happy I became friends with you all.
Sizzling pages. The girls of Sizzling Pages are just awesome. Cariad and Ang are some of the
most lovely and supportive people I’ve ever come across. Keep up the good work ladies.
Luscious Literature. Anne and Linda, you ladies are great. Anne, I can’t thank you enough for
running my street team, and just generally giving it to me straight when I need it.
Claire and Tara from Bare Naked Words. I love you girls. Tara was so excited about this book.
You’re like my own personal ego boost girl.
The Romance Vault. Rob and Michelle, you are some of the most hilarious bloggers I know. I love
your very honest reviews, and your relationship with each other.
I hope I haven’t missed anyone out. Just know that anyone who has ever written a review, posted
a teaser or picked up my books and read them…Thank you. Your ongoing support means the world
 ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Lauren Lovell is an indie author from England. She suffers from a total lack of brain to mouth
filter and is the friend you have to explain before you introduce her to anyone, and apologise for
afterwards.
She's a self-confessed shameless pervert, who may be suffering from slight peen envy.
LP’s She Who Dares series are all international best sellers.

If you would like to connect with LP she would absolutely love to hear from you.
Website: www.lplovell.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/lplovellauthor
Twitter: @Authorlplovell
Goodreads: www.goodreads.com/author/show/7850247.LP_Lovell
 Table of Contents
(Untitled)
PROLOGUE
CHAPTER ONE
HUGO
(Untitled)
CHAPTER TWO
MOLLY
CHAPTER THREE
HUGO
CHAPTER FOUR
MOLLY
CHAPTER FIVE
HUGO
CHAPTER SIX
MOLLY
CHAPTER SEVEN
HUGO
CHAPTER EIGHT
MOLLY
CHAPTER NINE
HUGO
CHAPTER TEN
MOLLY
CHAPTER ELEVEN
HUGO
CHAPTER TWELVE
MOLLY
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
HUGO
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
MOLLY
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
HUGO
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
MOLLY
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
HUGO
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
MOLLY
CHAPTER NINETEEN
HUGO
CHAPTER TWENTY
MOLLY
CHAPTER TWENTY ONE
HUGO
CHAPTER TWENTY TWO
MOLLY
CHAPTER TWENTY THREE
HUGO
CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR
MOLLY
CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE
HUGO
CHAPTER TWENTY SIX
MOLLY
EPILOGUE
DEAR READER
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
ABOUT THE AUTHOR