MindFood - USM Bonus

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MindFood – Upgrading Your Mental Diet

© 2016 Sage International

All rights reserved worldwide. No part of this publication may be copied, modified,
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materials contained herein confirm previous copyrights by Sage International.

Printed in United Arab Emirates

ISBN: 978-1-63452-450-6

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MindFood © Copyright 2016 Sage International 1

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Introduction

How to get the most out of this book

MindFood is a short collection of insights, wisdom and
uncommon philosophy on the most important topics that
affect our lives. It is not meant to be read like a normal book
from cover to cover. Such as a novel or sequential tale. There
is no plot and I can tell you up front the butler did not do it.
Neither, much to the disappointment of my youngest nephew,
are there any pictures to colour in. Although feel free to add
artistic flair to any you wish. Having said that, there are dots
to join together, but only in your mind as the awareness’s peel
back your thinking like layers of an onion. Ironically they too
may make you cry though whether it’s through delight or
despair is up to you.

The chapters maybe short but do not confuse brevity for
shallowness. The lessons here are not meant to be read,
learned and understood. That style simply converts self-help
into shelf-help as one book turns into the next and life carries
on as normal. No, the words on these pages are meant to be
felt and lived. Anything less and you will have entertained
yourself and even grown intellectually enough to sound really
smart at the next cocktail party you attend. But in reality,
nothing much will actually change in your life.

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My intention is for you to use this book as an invitation to
stretch. An invitation to participate in the hardest pastime
any human being can engage in. Something so difficult that
even normal sane people would rather fill in a tax-return than
do it. Something that has the potential to break the repetitive
storyline of our lives, which play out like an action replay of
Groundhog Day, albeit without the groundhog.

This ‘something’ has become almost obsolete in todays fast
paced, habit driven world of push notifications and instant
gratification. I’m talking about the practice of self-reflection.
To look at ourselves in the mirror in a sustained and objective
way. Not at the surface where we either like or criticize the
mole on our cheek, but way past that to the deep and scary
waters of self-enquiry. Why accept this Faustian invitation?
Because until we question the nutritional value of the
thoughts we feed our mind, we will forever be headed into the
obesity of unhappiness. It’s time for a change. It’s time to
upgrade our mental diet. It’s time for a new menu of
MindFood.
Happy eating!

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Sections:
Self Image Page 5

Beliefs Page 10

Values Page 13

Heath Page 17

Happiness & Fulfillment Page 31

Relationships & Love Page 37

Inspiration & Passion Page 37

Money & Abundance Page 41

Success & Failure Page 42

Leadership Page 44

Life & God Page 45

Conclusion & Invitation Page 49

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Self Image

If you want to find one area where more people destroy themselves
than almost any other, it has to be the area of Self-Image. The tendency
to be our own harshest critic is a habit conditioned by a lifetime of poor
mental dietary habits. From comparing ourselves to others, to buying
into an imaginary and often unattainable standard of perfection, we
beat ourselves up with the stick of not-good enough hoping it will
reshape us into what we think we need to be. Of course, the antidote is
simple. Look at yourself naked in the mirror and laugh your imaginary
socks off. Get all the judgment out of your system and see what’s left.
You’ll probably find out the only thing you’ll be laughing at is the
ridiculousness of how silly our former judgments of ourselves were.
Recognize the exquisiteness in the unique individual expression of
who you are. There are many flowers in the garden. None of them are
‘faulty’. But if we think we need to be born a rose in order to be happy,
we will miss the joy in being the already perfect tulip we are.

No One Can Or Will Ever Love Me More Than I Love Myself
Out of all the messages and insights contained in this book, this has to
be one of the most powerful. But hang on, what
made us stop believing we were worthy of our
own love in the first place? This ‘fallen
awareness’ is usually caused by our earliest
memory being that we had to be ‘good’ in order
to get the response we most wanted from our
parents. Unconditional love for a baby is
standard. But by the time communication
becomes two-way, parents unwittingly give or
withhold affection as a way of rewarding or
discouraging what they believe to be good or
poor behaviour. From that point the game
changes. The need to be ‘good’ becomes a lifetime quest to avoid the
fear we are not ‘good enough’. We stop remembering we were the
supreme winners in the biological race to be here. Against hundreds
of millions of other runners, we won. We were born with a gold medal.

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But rather than polish it daily in the mirror, we hide it in a draw and
seek validation from everywhere else. From the words we want to
hear our parents say, to the clothes we wear, to chasing rubber stamps
of authority on pieces of paper we proudly put on the wall to feel better
about ourselves than before whoever it was signed it.

How do we shift this? I believe the most productive thing a person can
do today is visit the tattoo parlor and have the following indelibly
placed on the inside of their eyelids. "NO ONE CAN, OR WILL, EVER
LOVE ME MORE THAN I LOVE MYSELF!” If you ask nicely, they may
even throw in a discount for the gold medal you can have put back on
your chest at the same time. With this awareness comes the
opportunity to stop looking outside to fill the empty gaps inside.
Instead, we can use the energy found in the freedom that insight gives
us to pursue whatever it is we are passionate about most and for the
right reasons. In short, know that the most important ‘like’ on our
Facebook updates is the one we genuinely give ourselves before we’ve
posted it. From here we can start to shine our light. After all, we have
far more of it than we realize as long as we never let anyone, least of
all ourselves, ever say different.

The Dangers Of Swimming In GOOP
Don’t get stuck swimming in GOOP, otherwise known as the ‘Good
Opinion of Other People’.
Most people spend their
life swimming in GOOP
and live constantly
reacting to what they
think others would most
approve of. Over time, we
become an unconscious
adaptation machine.
Always changing our
behaviour to suit what we
think will get either the most favorable outcome or the least painful
response from the people around us. GOOP forces us to wear masks to
help us blend in with our surroundings. If you can unstick yourself
from GOOP, you become the example of freedom that can inspire those
very same people to break free themselves. There is power in walking
your own truth, without apology or regret. Ignore anyone who tries to

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say you cannot be, do or have anything you want to be do or have. Most
of the time, they are simply projecting their own insecurities onto
others in an attempt to feel better about the limitations they have
accepted themselves. Give yourself the gift and break free of GOOP by
recognising the forgotten Truth: That nobody but nobody but NOBODY
has the right to tell you anything other than how amazing you are!
True freedom and happiness comes from getting your approval from
the person in the mirror. Once you have that, no one else’s opinion can
hurt you.

I Am So Much Better Than… Me!
Trying to be better than others is a
never-ending tiresome battle with
rules we can't control, and forces
(such as Pride) that don't serve our
best or long-term interests. It also
conditions us to contrast our self-
worth with (take note) OUR
PERCEPTION of what we think
others are thinking of us (which,
btw, is usually a million miles from
the actual reality, as most people
just are not bothered enough to
think about us simply because they are too busy being worried about
what they think other people are thinking of them! - err hello, Mcfly!!).
It also drives us to come up with ways of constantly seeking more
GOOP. This takes the form of patterns we become very good at such as
Approval (hey look what I did and let me tell you about it, please like
me) to Sympathy (hear my victim story and look at poor me) through
to Dominance (bullying and belittling other people in contrast to us)
and the classic Martyr (If I keep doing things for others then they can
never reject me). There is a way out and it is as effective as it is simple.
FOCUS ON BEING A BETTER YOU. That's it. Not a better you compared
to...my brother, colleague, boss, friends etc. A better you compared to
who you were yesterday. A better you than last time you did (fill in
the blank). And better doesn't necessarily mean stronger, faster or
smarter. A better you can (and often does) mean kinder, more humble,
compassionate, more selfless and in general wiser and, dare I say it,
more loving. Unhook from the need to prove anything to anyone. If
you know your values and if you are not harming anyone else then you

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really only need to rate your current self against your past self. It's a
much more satisfying game, one where you control all of the rules. One
where the reward is instantly realized and that no-one can take away.

Danger! Safe-Zone Ahead.
Many times in our life we can fall for the trap of following a path that
isn’t, and never was, in alignment with our true nature, purpose or
calling. Instead we exchange our fear of failure for choices we think
provide a safer option. One with more certainty, routine and
predictability. The quintessential Faustian bargain. And while this can
seem fine to start with, it soon becomes harder to ignore the inner
voice that tells us this ‘false path’ is not the one we were born to follow.
The challenge for many is that the mind has an incredible ability to
always justify and therefore we become experts at rationalizing our
actions through wonderfully sounding arguments. However, peel
back the surface and stress test the logic and we discover much of our
own self-talk is not actually designed to serve our best interests or our
highest truth. Instead, it is crafted to sooth the ego and provides a
trapdoor for our resolve as we ingeniously tip the decision-making
scales towards whichever side our comfort zone was most leaning
towards. In doing so we sell ourselves short, not realizing the original
decision was born and powered under the radar of our conscious
mind, but instead birthed from an unconscious belief we need to avoid
failure or risk losing the respect, agreement, approval or love of our
family, friends or peers. Feelings we so desperately crave in order to
feel validated and therefore good enough. As a result we limit
ourselves to playing in the ‘safe zone’. Shoehorning ourselves into
jobs, careers or pathways we feel protect us from failure or score the
most points in the game of fitting in or pleasing others. One of the main
characteristics of the safe-zone is that by settling for the crumbs of
certainty or approval we think it will provide, we always feel less
passionate about the game itself. Ultimately, playing in the safe-zone
stunts our self-image and kills our sense of purpose, driving it like
moths to an ultra violet zapper. How do you escape the safe-zone and
play a different game? To begin with, start questioning the
rationalizations of our own mind and see if they really are true or just
designed to support our emotional comfort zone. Raise our own game
by giving ourselves the approval we mistakenly think we can only get
from others. Following our truth requires neither justification nor
apology. Providing we are not hurting anyone else then no one has the

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right to impose their opinion on us and we certainty have every right

to ignore them if they try. If you really want to demonstrate growth,
you may even recognize that many people project their own
insecurities in the form of opinions and judgments and therefore,
instead of allowing them to lower our own energy, choose to feel
compassion for the limiting patterns they are running. Of course, one
of the fastest ways to raise our own game is to start hanging out with
players who have already traded up and live at a higher level. Note:
Whether they are presently wining or losing doesn’t matter. Never
judge them by their current scorecard as that is always subject to the
law of impermanence. Instead, look at how hard they swing the bat
and how big their smile is when they do it. These people carry an
infectious energy. They’ve reached a level many never reach but one
that is available to us all. They have finally outgrown the safe-zone by
recognizing the danger of living inside it. Welcome to the Tribe.

Who Do You Think You Are?
Have you ever noticed how we define ourselves by the identities we
adopt? For example, you may have the identity of a vegetarian. If so
this will likely define what you buy, what you eat and may even create
an entire viewpoint about people who love eating cows. There are
countless identities we can adopt, each with its own set of pre-
programmed guidelines on how to behave, how expect others to
behave, or how we think others will see us. Many people adopt the
identity of their profession. I’m a builder or policeman etc. Many fit
into social identities. I’m a parent, or husband, or father. I’m fat, I’m
skinny, I’m beautiful. Other identities we wear are based around
behaviors. I’m a smoker, I’m a stutterer. I am a diabetic. Commonly,
we even allow our interpretation of the past to give us an identity. I’m
a hero. I’m a victim. I’m unlucky. And many times we allow other
people with perceived authority to give us the identify of their opinion
of ourselves. My dad said I wasn't smart therefore I’m an idiot, or at
the very least will never give myself permission to have the identity of
a genius. Identities are powerful. They are the furnace in which sword
of our self image is formed. We either choose an empowering one and
hold the sword high with pride and a smile making no apology to the
world for who we are. Or we drag it around behind us bemoaning a
sense of duty and obligation at the expectations the identity bestows
on us, clearly forgetting we were the ones who chose to wear it. Just
waking up to the fact that all identities, like nametags on a uniform, are

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only fixed Velcro and can be changed anytime. However, if we think

they are stuck on with superglue we'll never realise the truth of who
we really are. If this is you I recommend using the sword to cut the
label off and be free of the limitations you’ve accepted. You can be
who you want to be but remember, everything that comes after the
words I am – is a choice.

Beliefs

Beliefs act as the chief umpire in our game of life. And, just like in
sports, it really doesn't matter what happens to the ball. What matters
is the umpires viewpoint and the fact their decision is final. Want to
have more happiness? Ask the umpire. If he says you have to be a
gazzilionare or meet the partner of your dreams before he awards that
point, then you’ll likely have a tough game. If, instead, you have a belief
that in order to be happy, you only have to remember two things to be
grateful for, then the game suddenly swings in your favor. It’s that
simple. However, the biggest problem is not necessarily the umpire,
par se. It’s the fact we rarely question their authority when, as the
chief employer, we have every right to do so. Unfortunately the most
destructive belief is the beliefs that our beliefs are true. It’s like trying
to fire someone who believes they cant be fired. Are you confused yet?
If so, don't worry, it’s just your belief! So, maybe it’s time to have a
chat with your umpire. Why does he make the decisions he makes? Is
he using a rulebook that may have been good for a period of time but
is now woefully out of date? After all, a belief is really nothing more
than a feeling of certainty we have about something and what it means.
It’s based on our current perception at the time (i.e. the angle the
umpire is viewing the game from), our previous experience and
limited available info. Oh yes, and let’s not forget the mood we are in
at the time too, which tends to arbitrarily override any other rule and
really screw up the match.


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Am I In A Hell Of A Heaven or Heaven Of A Hell?

Two men sat behind prison bars, one saw mud, the other saw stars. As
well as being our gatekeeper to happiness, beliefs determine our
experience in the environment we are in, way more than the
environment itself. If I believe I need to go to the right restaurant to
have a good eating experience, I will be more focused on selection of
venue. If I believe the restaurant choice is secondary to who I’m eating
with, I’ll be more focused on my selection of companions. If I believe
I’m useless in the kitchen and having someone else cook me a meal is
awesome, I’ll be happy no matter what.

No Time To Question Beliefs
Many people never take the time to re-question their beliefs because
they have a belief that says they don’t have enough time. What’s
interesting from an arbitrary standpoint is that the only place in the
universe where time actually means anything, is in the mind of a
human being. Nothing else keeps track of it. In other words, the entire
concept of time only lives inside our head. If you believed this were
true (and it’s kind of hard to argue against it), it would mean we’d have
full permission to use our own rules on how we set up our beliefs
about what this thing called ‘time’ means. So why do we screw it up so
badly? Instead, what if we believed time served us, rather than the
other way around, as most have it wired? What if we believed that
instead of constantly running out of time, we believed we had an
eternal ‘now’ 24/7 that can never run out? How about placing your
previous beliefs about time on pause for a moment and reading that
again? If you have time, of course.

Hang On A Minute – Who Sold Me This Deal?
Nobody has the right to impose their belief onto anyone else. However,
many of us adopt other people’s beliefs as if they were true which, of
course, they then become. At least for us. But what would happen if
occasionally we paused, just for a second, to question our own current
beliefs about, well, everything! Who we are, what we are doing, what
we think we are capable of, what we think we have to settle for, the
people we keep in our life, the dreams we have or have let go of. My
experience is that many of us are currently holding onto the same
beliefs we had years ago even though a) we are now very different

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people to when we adopted them and b) we never questioned them in

the first place as to how they served us.
As an entrepreneur, here are two of my main beliefs. Firstly, I believe
that if I lost everything tomorrow (materialistically), then it would
simply be a great excuse to start again. Why do I believe that? Because
I know my self worth is NOT my net worth. I am what I am regardless
of what I have, what I drive or what I look like. I also believe that there
is nothing that can happen to me in my lifetime, and I sincerely mean
not a single thing, that I cannot learn from or be empowered by in
some way.
Another belief that can change a life in a heartbeat is knowing that you
already ARE that which you seek the most. You see, by believing this
you are free to go get the 'things' you say you would like (better
relationship, more money, flashy car, bigger house etc. just as common
examples) without needing what you think you’ll get by having them
(yes, it's ALWAYS a feeling we want from the 'things', not the things
themselves!) Stop or a moment and re-read that until you sense the
freedom contained in it.
Three empowering questions to ask and work through are: What
unquestioned beliefs am I still operating from that no longer serve me
(or at least offer the
possibility for
upgrade)? Then ask
yourself the question
‘Why do I believe
that?’ and see what
shows up. For
example, asking “why
do I believe that men
never listen?” or
“Why do I believe
that I can’t sing?” will
most often reveal
that our lives are
shaped not just by
our beliefs but by our mind looking for evidence to support those
beliefs, rather than intelligently question where they came from.
Finally, ask yourself ‘what would Life be like if I knew I already was
that which I think I’ve been looking for?’ Then pour yourself a nice
glass of wine and contemplate the answer. I promise it will beat
watching day-time TV.

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Values

Without a set of firm values to guide us, our beliefs can start to suffer
from multiple personality disorders changing to suit the emotional
mood we are in at the time. What are values? They are the things in
our lives we believe to be more (or less) important to ourselves. Some
people value health. Others value looking good compared to others. If
you value looking good higher than health, you’ll be tempted to take
short cuts to get there such as surgery or steroids. If you value health
more than comparing yourself to others you won’t. It’s that simple.
The challenge comes when we don’t clarify our values in order of
importance (as most people don't). Instead many settle for a kind of
fuzzy knowing or a vague awareness of what we think our values are.
But without asking ourselves what is most important to us in life, it is
hard to stay true to what we believe. In fact, without placing a values
flag in the ground and declaring to ourselves and the world that we
know what we stand for, our beliefs will shift depending on the
direction of our emotional wind. Rationalizing is national past time to
excuse the fact our values are not clear. Having ran out of breath
running to the bathroom, I believe I should get up early tomorrow and
go the gym. At 6am its cold and raining and I conveniently change my
belief about why I need the gym so badly. Moral? When you’re values
are clear, your beliefs about the decisions you make become easier.

Want Real Power In Your Life? Try Surrendering!
The most powerful word in the English language as spoken by
teachers, prophets and other pretty smart dudes over centuries of
recorded history is said to be, surprisingly - SURRENDER. Now, if you
just look at the average connotation to that word we can easily get
deceived into thinking it's more to do with weakness, submissiveness,
supplication or throwing in the towel etc. However, if we raise our
level of awareness and take another, somewhat deeper look,
something interesting happens...

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When seen through the eyes of some of

those teachers, the word Surrender
points simply to 'non-resistance'. Not in
the context of power struggles or war
(though that is how Gandhi helped
create India's independence without
violence) but in the context of
'alignment' with a much greater power.
Clearly the arguments around the
'labels' we put on that power i.e. God,
nature, creation, infinite intelligence or
my personal favorite as a Star Wars fan, The Force, are outside of the
scope of this conversation. (Though I can't help but sneak in the
comment that the biggest travesty of humanity, in my opinion, is we
argue, alienate and even go to war & kill each other over who's 'label'
for the personification of Love (god) just happens to be right - absurd!)
Anyway, as I said, that is a separate conversation - back to the 'power
of surrender' because if you get this, and I mean really get it, it can be
as transforming in your life as the great teachers were alluding to.
Einstein said it this way - "The most powerful question a person can
ask in their lifetime is whether or not they live in a 'just' universe",
meaning we either buy into the fact that there is a bigger picture and
a grand design or we don't. For those that don't (or don't have time
because they're too busy resisting) life seems always to be a struggle
where we are constantly trying to change the way things are. It's as if
Life is fighting us at every corner. But for those who have 'surrendered'
to the fact that there is an intelligence that runs the universe, beats our
heart, heals our cuts and a million other things we can't stop or control,
life seems to flow a little easier and there seems to be far less to worry
about, irrespective of whether the circumstances are different. Why?
Because it's never the size of the perceived problem my friends, it’s the
size of our resistance to allowing a solution to present itself from a
smarter place. Let’s put it another way. The more one fights reality,
the more often reality tends to win. So, instead of fighting, try
surrendering to the belief that no matter what happens, Life is looking
after us and everything is going according to plan. And, more
importantly, that it's OK for that plan to be outside of our current rules
as to how we think it should unfold. Once we surrender at this level,
we may just notice that our stress levels go down, our sense of Power
goes up and those things we call circumstances start to conspire in our
favour.


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Anyone can survive adversity. If you really want to test someone’s

character - give them power. #Sageism

Placing A Higher Value On Your Environment
Most people grasp the fact our body will always adapt to the
environment it’s placed in. Whether that’s a hot climate, a cold climate,
the gym or McDonalds. The body doesn't care, its job is simply to adjust
and adapt. It’s a beautiful piece of evolutionary law that is hard-wired
into our DNA. However, most people are oblivious to the fact the mind
follows the exact same law. At an unconscious level, our thought
patterns and habits are constantly adapting and adjusting to match the
level of input from our immediate environment. Just like a baby will
quickly learn the native language of its parents whether they are
English or Chinese. There are many common phrases that announce
this: “You become the average of the 5 people you spend the most time
with” was Jim Rohn’s famous quote. Or the classic Dan Pena: “Show me
your friends and I’ll show you your future.” This then allows us the gift
of choice, meaning rather than fight the flow of the current of the river
you are in, simply switch to a river that takes you to where you want
to go. Put simply, if you hang out with nine people who use
recreational drugs, sit on the couch and eat junk food while talking
about why life is unfair, you're likely going to drift towards becoming
the tenth, no matter how hard you try to swim in a different direction.
But if you hang out with nine motivating, go-getting positive
individuals who talk about all of the exciting opportunities of life and
how you can realise them, you're likely going to become the tenth. It
can literally be that simple. So, set yourself up to win and realise that
one of the fastest and easiest ways to change your life is to change your

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peer group. Of course, one should also be mindful of avoiding the ego
trap here. It’s not about saying "They are not good enough to be in my
circle as I am so much better than they are." If you catch yourself
thinking or saying this, then you're really in the same place. Instead,
it's about recognising that everybody is on a different journey and
what gets you from A to B doesn't get you from B to C.

But what about when it comes to family? I hear you ask. Yes, this can
be a tough one as those cards are somewhat pre-deal and are hard to
change (as much as some would like to). In that case, all we can do is
play the hand we have and love our family but choose our friends.

The Value Of Determination
If there was one skill, one quality, one
character trait that has been responsible for
more human progress than any other, it is
determination. Determination is the carbon
in steel that turns dreams into reality. The
ability to snatch a victory from the jaws of
defeat. People who are determined don't
worry about how they are going to achieve
their goals. They know that when they are
fully determined, the ‘How’ shows up. Those who have cultivated the
skill of determination know that inspiration ‘follows’ action, never the
other way around. They recognise the majority of the population are
nothing more than optimistic ‘try-ers’ who usually only start
something when they have enough certainty in ‘how’ to move forward.
This why so many never start, and even fewer finish what they started.
Cultivate the power of determination, trust a solution will present
itself if you move with purpose and there will be nothing that can stop
you.

Funny thing about Life, if you refuse to accept anything but the best -
you very often get it. #Sageism

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Health

Health has always been one of my top values.
Even though you often hear the Cliché "If you
have your health, you have nothing" many
people in today's fast paced world have lost
track of making this a priority. Even the
financially independent often demonstrate
their wealth through their waistline. I cannot
think of a more important need than taking
care of oneself physically, in order to have
more energy, health and vitality with which to
enjoy life, handle stress and be able to give
more of ourselves to others. Being proactive
here is the key. Please DON'T be one of those
people who only oil the garden gate after it
starts squeaking. You may find it’s too late to
stop it falling off its hinges.

Story Time…

For this section, I wanted to share with you a couple of personal
stories. Episodes in my life that helped shape and define, not just my
health, but my character and outlook on life. It’s all very well talking
the talk, but sometimes the walk itself, no matter how painful, can offer
some great insights and inspiration. My hope is you take out of these
as much as I was required to put into them.

A Little Bit Of Blood, A Whole Lot Of Sweat And A Few Tears…
The Marathon de Sables (MdS) is widely recognised as the world’s
toughest footrace. Its translation literally means ‘Marathon of the
Sands’ and it’s both a name and reputation that is well deserved. For
seven days competitors from all over the world will attempt to run
over 151 miles (nearly 250kms) across some of the hardest, difficult
and inhospitable terrain on the planet. – The Sahara Desert. Running

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the equivalent of a marathon a day, the rules state that all competitors
must complete the race ‘self-sufficient’ meaning that all food and
equipment needed for the entire duration of the race must be carried
while running. Add to that temperatures in excess of 120 degrees,
violent sand-storms, freezing nights and large scorpions and you may
ask who in their right mind would even think of competing in such an
event? It was a question I had asked myself many times. This is what
happened….

It started just eight months before when a good friend and someone I
respect immensely, Tim Ivison, mentioned that he had decided to
enter the MdS. I had known Tim for a long time and had even ran the
London Marathon with him that year when at short notice he had
stepped in to be my ‘zoo-keeper’ helping and encouraging me the
entire way as I struggled the distance wearing a 20kg seven foot tall
rubber rhinoceros suit for charity. Having both flown in from
Australia just a few hours before the start I thought this was the
ultimate endurance test. However, listening to Tim talk about the MdS
made London sound like a picnic and before long I found myself
agreeing that this should be our next challenge. It certainly fit my
organising principle on setting goals, which states that if I have any
idea HOW I am going to achieve the goals I set, when I set them - then
they’re too small! You see, even though the event was eight months
away, there is something powerful in making a decision to do
something of that magnitude, especially without having any
references of doing things even remotely that difficult. I started
getting excited about the idea, then scared, then excited again and then
imagining what and how I would feel crossing the finish line. The
thought gave me tingles. This was now definitely something I had to
do.

How do you train for something like the MdS? Great question and I
guess everyone is different, however my training guide and mentor
turned out to be a friend who had run the event three years previous
and whose recent talk on it had inspired Tim to make the leap himself.
The man’s name is David Becker and I could not have picked a better
role model. David is inspirational in every sense of the word and I
would like to say upfront that I owe a lot of my success to his words of
support, wisdom and encouragement. Although by January I think
even David was a little worried by the sparseness of my training as,
due to my consistently travelling lifestyle, I found it hard to keep
commitments to a regular running schedule. Having said that,

19
deadlines are powerful things and I think I did more training in the
three weeks prior to the event than in the whole two months before as
the realisation of what I was about to do finally came knocking louder
on the door. I certainly got some funny looks from my local gym
members as night after night I ran on a treadmill wearing ankle
weights to simulate the sand, a big woolly fleece to simulate the heat
and a rucksack filled with yellow pages and 30 pounds of gym weights
which is similar to what I’d be carrying throughout the race.

Finally April 3rd arrived and I said goodbye to my friends and family
and boarded a plane to Ouazazate along with the rest of the British
contingent (which would eventually make up nearly a third of the 650
entrants.) And off we flew to Morocco.

The first night we were to spend in a hotel, our last bit of luxury before
being transported to the middle of nowhere for 10 days. The hotel was
excellent and that night we made new friends, ate well and nervously
laughed and joked about the adventure that lay ahead. Going back for
an early night I checked and repacked my kit and as I crossed the room
accidentally kicked the coffee table instantly putting a large gash
between two of my toes that took ten minutes to stop bleeding. Hmm,
schoolboy error, I thought. Here I am with a foot injury and I haven’t
even touched the sand yet! You have to laugh.

Next morning we boarded a coach and started the six-hour journey to
the start point. Five hours later the terrain got so bad that for the last
hour we had to be transported in the back of trucks as the coaches
reached their limit on where they could go.

On arrival at the first base camp our instructions were to get together
in a group of eight, find a tent and make ourselves ‘at home’. The guys
I ended up with were great and the final role call in ‘tent 68’ was as
follows: Steve Chadwick, a squadron leader from the RAF who was
doing this for the second time. Simon Pressed, a trader from London
who had come 2nd in the Thames Meander and who always had a smile
and something funny to say, no matter how big his blisters were.
Alastair, a solicitor from London who spoke fluent French, Nick Jarvis
from Bedford whom I’d met a few weeks before through a mutual
friend and at 39 was in great physical shape having trained seriously
for the MdS for over a year. Gary Jackets, a triathlete from London,
Edward a 49 year old veteran from Cornwall who got stuck in and

20
never complained once throughout the whole race and, of course,

Timbo and myself.

There is a saying that nothing bonds like common adversity and over
the next 10 days we became the best of friends, although I have to say
that as an ‘all guy’ tent in the middle of the desert, it did not take long
for the social protocol to take a back seat and before you knew it we
were proudly talking and making noises like you wouldn’t do at home.

The whole of the following day was dedicated to compulsory kit and
medical checks. All contestants had to present a whole array of
mandatory equipment as well as a minimum 2000 calories a day,
doctor’s certificate and ECG report to show that your heart was strong
enough to compete in the race. After you have been checked you are
then issued with a distress flare and some salt tablets and your kit is
weighed. Mine came in at fourteen and a half kilos (32lbs). That night
we ate our last ‘provided’ meal and bedded down for a good night sleep
in our tent that consisted of a piece of sack cloth with no sides, propped
up with sticks that we affectionately named the ‘Moroccan Hilton’.

The next morning we awoke at 5.30am as the sun started rising and
within 10 minutes the Berbers had flattened our 5-star residence and
were busy loading it onto the trucks along with the eighty or so other
tents, ready to assemble them so they’d be ready for us when we
arrived at our finish point sometime that afternoon. The first stage
was a short 25km designed to warm us up, settle us in and test our kit
and feet for sore spots and loose straps. We assembled on the starting
point and listened to Patrick Bower, the race founder, talk for 10
minutes about the troubles around the world and how the race was an
example of how so many nationalities could work and focus together
towards a common goal. He then started counting down from ten to
zero in French.

Although I had mentally prepared myself and visualised this moment
many times, the feeling of excitement and anticipation in those few
seconds before the race were amazing. To me this was always going
to be as much, if not more, of a mental challenge than a physical one.
Just like in fire-walking (which I have conducted for thousands of
people of the last 15years), once the first step is taken you have no
choice but to keep going. The real test is not in completing it, but
showing up to begin with. The fact that ten times as many competitors
quit before even stepping on a plane than actually dropped out during

21
the race was testimony to that. Mentally, I was as strong and ready as
I would ever be; there was no doubt about that. Now the only thing
that mattered was making sure my body kept up with my mind.

As expected, day one ambled out quite nicely and there were no real
problems. I kept pace with Tim for most of the way and then decided
to put my headphones on for the last few miles as a ‘reward’. As the
carefully selected list of motivational songs started playing, my feet
moved faster and I glided in the last twenty minutes with a smile. Back
at the Hilton most of the other guys had already arrived and I mixed a
rehydration drink for Tim who came in just a few moments later. Time
to cook some food, sort out my kit for morning and settle in for some
much needed recovery time. That night, just as I was about to climb
into my sleeping bag I went to move my roll mat and my head torch
caught a rather large scorpion square on that I had inadvertently been
lying on for the last two hours. I’m not sure which one of us was more
startled. Couple that with the ever-present threat of the infamous
flesh eating camel spiders (which are fearless predators and can run
as fast as a man!) and from that point on we all checked our shoes and
hats very carefully in the morning before putting them on.

Day two was the infamous ‘Dune Day’. We had pitched camp a couple
of miles from the Dunes and we looked up in awe as they rose into the
distance like the scene from an Arabian postcard. A spectacular but
formidable sight as the realisation that we were about to run 34km
across what turned out to be the largest Dunes in North Africa came
upon us. From a distance it was hard to judge their size but as we got
closer it soon became apparent that some of these things were
hundreds of feet high. My decision not to take gators was soon to
prove a poor choice as every 20 minutes I emptied piles of sand from
my trainers and felt more grit get into the little blisters that had started
forming as a result. Luckily my feet held out well and by noon I was
passing many hobbling people who looked like they would rather be
elsewhere.

By now the main challenge had identified itself in, not in my feet, but
in my shoulders as the 30+lb I was carrying started taking its toll. Due
to following a recommendation on one of the websites (another
schoolboy error) I had opted to wear a ‘Mole-track’ rucksack and
regretted my choice from the first mile. Not only did its woefully
inadequate 25ltr capacity mean that I had more stuff strapped to the
outside of it than I carried on the inside, but there was absolutely no

22
weight distribution on the hips. This meant that everything was

carried by your shoulders and by halfway across the dunes the straps
were starting to feel like cheese-wire. However I kept my spirits high
and admired the breath-taking scenery as I galloped along from
checkpoint to checkpoint and couldn’t resist a cheery little chorus of
‘Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life’ as I scaled one of the larger
dunes, much to the amusement (and bemusement) of many of my
fellow runners.

The end of Dune Day was met with a great feeling of accomplishment
as I bounced happily into camp to meet the rest of the chaps. By now
the finishing order was becoming apparent. I would arrive to find
Steve, Nick and Simon halfway through dinner having sped the
distance at what for me was always an impressive display of stamina.
Alistair and Gary would usually follow shortly after I arrived with
Edward in hot pursuit, however by the end of Day 2 Timbo was
starting to develop some problems with his feet and, having arrived
with his never failing smile and ‘no worries’ trademark, would bravely
limp off to pay a visit to ‘Doc Trotters’.

One of the highlights of every day was when the ‘postman’ would come
to the tent to deliver email messages that friends and relatives could
send via the official website. (www.darbaroud.com) They were
literally little pieces of ‘tent gold’ and I would like to thank everyone
who sent words of inspiration and messages of support. It was a great
boost and each night before I went to sleep I would read every single
one again and again, soaking up the encouragement and helping to set
my mind right for the following day.

At 5.30am next morning we started our usual routine which by now
began with dragging our kit outside of the tent so the Berbers could
take it down, cooking breakfast, collecting our water ration, preparing
our feet and packing our kit. In total it was a 2-3 hour routine, the most
important part of which I would spend on my feet. First I would
carefully scrape off the ingrained sand with a knife, dress the sore
spots and individually wrap each toe, heel and arch in protective tape.
I would then apply Vaseline to the bandages to reduce the friction, put
on my socks and apply more Vaseline over the socks. It was a tip that
David Becker had passed on and the hour or so I invested each
morning in this ritual was to eventually see my feet in better shape by
the end of the course than many other competitors.


23
Day three was just as tough, a 38km stretch across open dessert but I
was in good form and was surprised to finish in the top half of the pack
and feeling strong, despite a bad headwind for at least 20 miles,
putting me in good spirits for the fearsome day four: A non-stop
double marathon over some of the worst terrain yet. However, trouble
was to strike at about 4am the next morning when I awoke feeling the
after effects of what was probably a poorly re-hydrated chicken
korma. This turned out to be a bad mistake. When we got kicked out
of our tents as usual at 5.30am I was in pretty poor shape and feeling
as weak as a kitten. I couldn’t stomach any breakfast and could barely
lift my rucksack - not the best start for a 52-mile run. Oh well, I
thought, if ever I needed an opportunity to practise good state
management, I guess I’m not going to get a better one than this.

As suspected, there was no way I could run and the first 13 miles took
over 4 hours and the head wind was the harshest yet blowing sand like
a shot-blaster at gusts of up to 40 miles per hour right into your face.
By checkpoint three I was on painkillers for the shoulders but my
strength had started to return & I met up with a couple of Americans
and for the next 25 miles made good time averaging 4-5 miles an hour
over small dunes, deep soft sand, sharp stones & steep hills. The
temperature was 44 degrees (112F). I had aimed to make checkpoint
5 (out of 7) by nightfall but because of my poor start I was about 10
miles short and now hadn’t eaten any solid food for over 24hrs. Plus
my trust of powdered food had taken a sharp downturn. It was at this
point as the sun disappeared and the darkness crept in (together with
freezing temperatures) that the last of my willpower started to ebb
away. The realisation that I had at least another 20 miles to run didn’t
do anything to bring it back. After running over 100 miles in the most
extreme conditions imaginable, I started feeling it was time to quit.
Every ounce of motivation had been squeezed out, every mental trick
I could play had been played and the last dregs of stamina were all that
was holding me upright. It was truly one of the lowest times of my
entire life. I immediately started justifying my position with ego
soothing self-talk like ‘I should be proud of getting this far, I’ve nothing
else to prove. Just fire the flare and in a couple of hours I’ll be in a
warm bed, well done’ etc. etc.

Then, unexpectedly, something amazing happened. Just at the point
where I was about to throw in the towel, I looked up through the last
of the sunlight to see a blind Korean man in his late 60’s run past me -
tied by the wrist to his guide. Talk about inspiration. I stared in awe

24
at this frail old man trudging his way across the dessert without even
seeing where to place his feet. In that moment I realised something
that will stay with me forever. That no matter how hard you think you
have tried or how far you think you have come, or whatever low you
think you are at, there is ALWAYS another level. I felt a surge run
through me. What kind of passion and motivation did this man have
and where did it come from? As a student of human behaviour, I had
to know that answer. But in order to find out I had to catch up!

Through his guide and interpreter, I learned that this man’s brother
had died of cancer several years before and that every year since then
he had ran this race to raise money for the hospice that looked after
him. Every single year. That was all I needed to know. This man’s
unwavering commitment to do good for others regardless of the cost
or personal hardship he endured touched my heart in a way that
immediately made my legs feel lighter.

I ran for the next several hours although I now desperately needed
fuel. After a brief stop collecting some firewood and thoroughly
cooking a pasta portion I was back on the road and pulled into
checkpoint 5 at just after midnight and checkpoint 6 at around 2.30am.
Quick stop to tip another dune of sand out of my shoes, down 2 more
painkillers and I set off for the long haul home, the image of the Korean
man still firmly in my mind.

Navigating through a moonless sky across the Sahara with nothing but
a head torch, compass and the occasional glow-stick is certainly a
wondrous experience and as the sun started to come up at around
5.40am I saw the finish line in the distance and felt strong enough for
a fast run, crossing the last mile in under 7 minutes with a smile of
relief so big it made my jaw ache! The benefit of finishing that leg in
under a day meant that I could use the entire next day to recover
before to preparing for the following day’s penultimate leg: another
full 26 mile marathon. However, by 6pm that evening Tim still hadn’t
arrived and by now both myself and the rest of the tent were getting
worried. There was only two hours to go before the cut off time and if
you were outside of that you were disqualified. We all waited
nervously and 30 minutes later a familiar figure appeared on the
horizon and crossed the line with just over an hour to spare. By now
Tim had been on the road for over 33 hours and even though he could
only manage a brave hobble, he still had that big smile. We were all
relieved.

25

Having a sense of being over the worst, we set off on day five’s
marathon with high spirits, however the wind had now dropped and
today was getting hot. Very hot. By checkpoint 2 the recorded
temperature was 48.8 Celsius in the shade (120F) and very
uncomfortable. One of the downsides to that temperature is that every
sip of water from your bottle is like putting your mouth under the hot
tap. It does nothing to cool you down but is vital to replace lost fluids.
After 22 miles I was seriously flagging when the unthinkable
happened. I went to take a sip of water only to find out that the
container in my backpack was empty. I had misjudged my pace and
ran out. Due to the intense heat and relentless effort I was nearing
total exhaustion and with four miles left I now had to make a choice.
Do I pick up the pace and try to make it to camp in half an hour hoping
my body can stand that, or do I cut back but risk being out longer in
the heat with no water? I opted for a slightly faster pace and reached
the camp 35minutes later, elated but in a physical mess. One piece of
great news was that a close friend, Lynn May had travelled to the
desert to see us finish and by now had arrived at the camp with Tim’s
Girlfriend, Alison Drummond. They were a welcome sight and
demonstrated once again that no matter how empty your tank may be,
there is always something that can pick you up in a heartbeat.

That night I hadn’t the energy to even cook so I ate cold food and I
waited by the finish line for Tim who, having played his strategy well,
came in just inside the cut off to rapturous applause and a huge and
much needed hug from Alison.

The final day was designed as the shortest, and almost victory leg of
‘just’ 22km. However having just run the best part of 140 miles as the
crow flies, but more like 200+ when factoring in the terrain, this final
stretch was still longer than a half marathon and was still a ‘stretch’ as
the temperature on the thermometer hit its highest point yet at well
over the 50 degrees C mark (nearly 130F). All around me people were
drawing on their last reserves and I felt sorry for those whose feet
were in so much of a state that their pace had been reduced to an
agonising limp. Those last miles must have seemed like an eternity to
them as you could literally hear the blood squelching around in some
of the shoes and the pain on their faces said it all. I passed on
encouragement wherever I could and just kept going. The last 3 miles
wound through the town of Tazzarine and the streets were lined with
locals who came out to greet us. Lynn and Ali were also riding along

26
the course in Land Rovers shouting support and welcome words to

everyone in earshot. They were great.

Around the final bend the finish line came into view and with all the
energy, adrenaline and mental stamina I could muster, I picked up the
pace and sprinted the last 500 yards crossing the line in a mixture of
emotional and physical exhaustion and elation that words simply
cannot describe. As Patrick Bauer shook my hand and placed my
finishers medal over my head, the realisation of what we had just done
started to kick in and I joined the rest of the crowd for celebratory hugs
and cheers as a few happy tears were shed.

My final overall finishing position was 445 out of 650 with Tim
crossing the finish line on the last day a dozen or so places from the
back, still with a smile and clutching his medal with pride. He spent
three hours in foot surgery the following day. On the last night Edward
made a comment that I wholeheartedly agree with. He said that the
essence of the MdS is not where you finish but how you cope with
what’s thrown at you. To me, Tim showed more courage,
determination and mental toughness than the top ten finishers put
together and was always a real sense of inspiration for the rest of us.
His pride in what he achieved is extremely justified. Contrast that with
people who, having just completed the toughest footrace on earth,
were finding excuses to beat themselves up mentally for not getting a
‘personal best’ or for coming outside the top 200 and you can start to
understand why the MdS is not just about how ‘physically’ fit you are.
If it were, then I for one would probably not have made it.

So what is it about? Well I can only answer for myself and say that for
me it was a true sense of taking oneself to the limits of what you think
is possible only to find out that no matter how much you think you can
give, no matter how much you think you can take, no matter what you
thought was possible before - there is ALWAYS another level and it’s
only our thinking that stops us. I owe that one to a blind Korean man
who I will probably never meet again. Another great teacher and
mentor once told me that the essence of being alive is to keep reaching
beyond our comfortable grass and to continually keep pushing back
the boundaries. I now understand what he meant. Eight months
before, this race seemed unconquerable - an impossible dream. Now I
know I could do it again if I had to.


27
Will I? Never in a million years. At least until next time ;-) for the other
thing I found is that the human spirit is only truly alive when playing
outside of its comfort zone and it doesn’t take long before the mind
starts to recalibrate and wonder what else is possible. Don’t get me
wrong - it doesn’t have to be a physical challenge. It could be starting
a business you’ve always dreamed of but never dared try, or mending
a part of a relationship you hadn’t the courage to face. But beware as
the mind can be a great distraction and there will always be something
we would rather be doing than face the fear that comes with following
our passion. The trick, as in the firewalk, is to take the first step as no
matter how ready you think you have to be, you’ll never get there by
standing still - but make a firm decision and there’s not an excuse in
the world that can stop you. Looking back we didn’t have any fancy
resources. The most important thing we came with was courage. We
left with medals.

Go live your dream.

Lessons From My Skiing Accident
In April 2007 I was skiing with a friend when I lost control on a jump
and hit the ground. Hard. My friend Fraser skied up to me to check in
and my response was that it felt like I had broken my jaw. This was a
tough and interesting realization as up to that point in my life (at 34
years old) I had never broken a bone and had a belief that I never
would. I told my friend that I was going to ski down the mountain and
if the pain in the side of my face didn’t ease up I would probably call it
a day. As I set off again and 10 minutes later arrived at the chair lift
about 2 minutes ahead of Fraser. As I waited the staff operator at the
bottom asked if I was OK, she could probably tell I had a little
discomfort. I told her I had had a wipe-out and that this was my last
ride. At the top the medics were waiting, she had been concerned
enough to radio through and their response was not encouraging.
They took one look at me and told me I had to go to hospital
immediately.

Up to this point I had been convincing myself that my "I do not break"
belief system was solid and had started to feel better but after the
certainty of the prognosis from the medics I lost some of my own
certainty and started to drift into mild shock and then mild concussion.
They stretchered me down to the gondola that took me to a waiting

28
ambulance and I found it harder to talk as my jaw started to really

ache. I thought Stay Positive! And above all don’t lose my sense of
humor J.

The ambulance ride was a riot. First the chief medic tried to cut off my
ski jacket to put on a blood pressure cuff but there was NO way I was
going to let that happen. It was a new jacket! Two minutes of
negotiating later we had a compromise. They didn't want to move me
off the stretcher but would wriggle my jacket off as long as I agreed
they could cut of my ski top underneath, as this would have required
more effort to remove over my head. The jacket cost a thousand
dollars - the top was ten bucks from Walmart. Done Deal! Next they
asked if I was allergic to anything and after thinking carefully I looked
straight at the nurse and in my most serious voice I took a deep breath
and said 'Gravity!' We all burst out laughing which made me feel better
despite the extra pain in my face. From that point the tone was set and
it was jokes all the way to hospital.

By the time I arrived my girlfriend was already there. Fraser had
called her from the mountain, and she was a refreshing and
unbelievable source of both love and strength as the seriousness of the
situation revealed itself. I was busted pretty bad. The whole right side
of my face had been crushed-in by almost an inch, which was hard to
tell due to the swelling, and I had multiple fractures including two
fractures in my eye socket and two in my cheek bone. Ironically my
jaw was fine. However, I would have to have a few hours of plastic
surgery to rebuild my face courtesy of a titanium plate or two just to
look normal again. Bummer. After the X-rays and MRI they took off
my neck brace and I'll never forget the look of shock on Tammy's face
as she saw the right side of mine lop downward without the support.
I weighed things up. I knew everything happened for a reason and was
looking for the positive here as hard as I could. "Don’t worry sweetie,"
I managed to say although it sounded like I had a ping-pong ball in my
mouth "If Life were simple it wouldn't be as fun!" I smiled, or at least
half my mouth did. I had been working damn hard on a big project for
the last year and I guess this was Life's way of slowing me down when
I wasn’t listening to the little hints. OK, OK, I thought, I get it! Surgery
was scheduled for 2 days later.

After the operation I was forced to listen to the 'expert opinion' of what
my body would do and how long it would take to heal. At this stage of
my life I already knew enough about taking charge of my own thoughts

29
and beliefs as it related to healing and the body. Especially MY body.

I was told I had an 80 - 90% chance of regaining feeling in my mouth
after the nerves had been crushed. I thanked the doctor but in a
somewhat casual tone told him I would choose the 100% group. He
looked at me with a strange look and said "but you don't get to choose"
I told him it was too late, I'd already chosen. Period. I wasn't trying to
be arrogant or clever here, just stating a fact with total certainty. I told
myself medical opinions are fine as long as I remember that they are
just that - someone else's opinion. Next I heard it would take a
minimum 6-8 weeks for my bones to heal. Hmm, I thought that's
standard time for a standard person thinking standard thoughts. My
response was 'Doctor, I really appreciate you saying that but I'd like to
do it in three'. At this point I think he just put it down to concussion
and gave me a dismissive look while he wrote something in his notes.
Probably the word 'delusional', ha ha. Though, again, an important
distinction here was that this was not arrogance or defiance, that kind
of energy would do nothing to accelerate my healing and neither
would self pity or regret. Instead I had a total and rock solid conviction
in my ability to nurture and support my body through the power of my
mind. I had read and seen enough examples over the years to know
what was possible in situations like this. The challenge most people
who are injured have is that in the absence of finding a positive
meaning they view the experience as negative and start to resent their
affliction rather than see it as an opportunity. (i.e an opportunity to
change the pace of lifestyle, to take stock, to appreciate the health they
may have been previously taking for granted, to meet new people in
new situations they would not have met such as in visits to the
hospital, in short ANYTHING but a burden or hindrance etc.) Another
important point here is that I got really connected to gratitude through
a contrast frame of understanding how close it could have been to
breaking my neck. Literally millimeters or a couple of degrees
difference in angle on landing and it would have gone like a twig. I
almost cried with joy thinking that if that HAD have happened and
some magic genie had given me one chance to go back and 'just' have
a busted face instead, I would have taken the offer in a heartbeat. It's
all perspective at the end of the day.

From this point I knew it was important to relax my body and not to
resist what had happened. After all, I knew that ALL stress simply
comes from resistance to what is. I visualized constantly, miraculous
and perfect healing. Seeing the bones fuse together like powerful
magnets surrounded by white loving energy and light. I saw my face

30
getting stronger and healthier each passing minute, hour and day and
I made sure that I was always relaxed and thankful for what had
happened. Essentially, accelerated healing is 30% physical and 70%
metaphysical so while the mental side, meditation and visualization
was critical, I also cut all processed foods and any toxins out of my diet
and gave my body the nutritional support it needed along with
scheduled relaxation and whatever amount of quality sleep it tells me
it needs. Three days after the surgery, and against the advice of the
medical team, I jumped on a plane and flew to the Bahamas for a two-
week seminar and a great environment to heal in. Within 48 hours of
arriving I was training in the hotel gym. One of the benefits of the
visualization was that ALL of my body started to respond and I grew
muscle quicker than I had ever done. Each day my face showed big
improvements and by the time I returned home to Vancouver two
weeks later (less than three weeks after the accident) I was in the best
shape of my life. My face was completely healed, my lips, tongue and
inside of my cheek had regained virtually all of their feeling (this
would take another month to fully come back to 100% but it was still
half the time of what I was told would happen) and my body was
strong, fit and solid.

I guess the lessons for me where that while I am not invincible (my
new belief is that I only break once J) it is never what happens to you
that makes the defining difference in you life, or any situation for that
matter, but rather what you choose to DO with what happens. Victim
is a role that too many of us play at some point in our lives and the
second we do that we may as well give up all of our power there and
then. However, given the chance, this amazing thing we run around in
called a body is capable of incredible things when directed properly
with the love and purpose required for immediate self-healing. I now
have first hand experience of that and in the process can thank Life for
the wonderful opportunity it gave me to never doubt it again.


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Happiness

The pursuit of happiness is the fuel that powers most industries
around the world. From educations to vacations or from hobbies to
habits, everyone seems to be doing or buying something they hope will
lead them further along the yellow brick road of life. All in the hope of
meeting the powerful Oz of happiness. So what is the secret to this
magic elixir? Is it a perilous maze where only the lucky find their way?
Or can it be so simple to be classed as the elusive obvious, stuck on our
forehead but with no mirror to see? Let’s go explore. But before we
begin, I will throw you a hint and say that if you think it can be found
in the realms of the outer world, you’ll forever be chasing happiness
on the hamster wheel to nowhere. And that’s not fun. Not even for a
hamster.

But I Thought Your Job Was To Make Me Happy
A huge amount of our pain or negativity comes from trying to get
someone else to be, do act or behave
in a way that WE want them to be,
do, act or behave rather than
understanding we have no right to
impose our rules on anyone else. Of
course that doesn't mean we have to
settle for accepting negative, bad or
abusive behaviour as we also have a
choice as to who we spend our time
or life with. Simply put, don't waste energy trying to change the people
in your environment - Either accept that is who they are and send them
love or make a decision to change to an environment that includes
different people. Either way, recognise the truth that nobody can ever
do anything to you emotionally without you first giving permission.


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Is Happiness The Elephant In The Room?

The secret to happiness is no secret. However, it's an unfortunate fact
that most people who are searching for happiness completely miss it
by default. Just as someone in a dark room shines a flashlight around,
desperately searching for some light, the elephant in the room still
remains hidden in plane sight. The
secret to happiness is very simple. But to
begin with, one has to 'unlearn' the
illusion and false conditions they think
happiness is tied to by first
understanding the truth that you don't
need permission to be happy. Nor do you
need a reason to be happy. In fact, being
joyful for no reason is actually our
natural state. The challenge, especially
in today's society, is that most of us are caught up in the BS (or belief
system :) that our 'self worth' is tied to our 'net worth' and once this
pattern takes hold, our fear of not 'being' enough is controlled like a
puppet by the strings of thinking we don't 'have' enough. This starts a
lifelong journey of always trying to get more to prove we are good
enough - from employees through to millionaires who are running the
same pattern, because nobody ever stopped to realise they WHERE
enough. From the place of knowing we are enough, we can then
choose to earn what we want but it's not tied to happiness. Want the
secret to happiness? For most people it's too simple for them to grasp
but here it is and here is the only way it happens - Think happy
thoughts. As I said, too simple. Especially when we are told (and
worse - believe) the person in the mirror isn't enough. Oh and here's a
bonus - want the fastest way to unhappiness? Try to get someone else
to act, behave or be who you want them to be rather than let yourself
be yourself and let others be themselves. Enjoy yourself, be yourself
and, as long as you are not hurting anyone, make no apologies for who
or what you are to anyone. Remember my friends, you were born
amazing – remember that and you’ll always have something to smile
about.

Fast Thinking
If the fastest way to happiness is to think happy thoughts, what’s the
quickest way to do that? The fast track to happy thoughts is to
appreciate and be grateful for something you have. The fastest way to

33
be grateful for something you have is to simply ask yourself better

questions. Such as ‘what is something in my life I can be grateful for
right now?’ or “What is funny about this moment or situation I haven’t
noticed yet?” One of the surefire ways to stay unhappy is to resist or
complain at anything or anyone in your current life that doesn't fit
your pictures. Instead, simply use that energy to choose a different
situation and start moving towards it. Therefore, never fall into the
trap of trying to rearrange the outside word in order to be happy. That
is a tunnel with no cheese. Instead, happily work on rearranging the
world to how you want it to be. Then you can discover the truth that
happiness itself can never be related to facts but only our attitude
towards them. Now smile, dammit

Stress Buster
Is it simple to get rid of stress? Well, the first thing to recognise is that
all stress comes from life not looking the way we want it to. But, hang
on a minute! Who voted on what it should look like in the first place?
Well, other than us of course. After all, it's different for everyone. As
human beings, we forget we have a 'thinking' center (mind, ego etc.)
and a 'feeling' center (heart, soul, gut etc). When our 'thinking' center
thinks thoughts such as "I'm not happy with the way life is right now"
or "This sucks" or "I'm not good enough" etc. It causes our 'feeling'
center to respond appropriately. (For the academic nuts out there:
different thinking stimulates different brain chemistry that produces
a biochemical chain reaction we interpret as emotional response.) For
the rest of us I'll make it simple. Think lousy thoughts - feel lousy.
Think happy thoughts - feel better. Ta-Da!! OK but what if I can't think
of anything happy? Well for a start, you can stop telling yourself
negative lies. At
least be honest
and say I'm not in
a 'mood' (feeling
center) that
wants to find or
focus on happy
thoughts. That's
predictable as the
input from the
thinking center is
too busy feeding it

34
lousy thoughts! So what's next? Well, you could just bypass the
thinking center all together and connect to the feeling center. How?
Well for a start try smiling! Yes, for no reason whatsoever other than
it feels good, what a concept! Take a breath, place your focus on your
feeling center and simply speak to it in its language. How? Pick
something on the right hand side of the picture to focus on and find the
magic in taking charge of your feelings rather than let them be at the
mercy of lousy untrained thoughts. If you don't like your current
circumstances, then simply thank them for the inspiration to start
looking at ways to create new ones. But bitch about them and you'll
find a strange (but obvious) fact that most people miss (Hint: time to
pay attention) RESISTANCE TO OUR CURRENT CIRCUMSTANCES IS
THE GLUE THAT KEEPS US TIED TO THEM. The truth is it's ineffective
to try and 'change' your Life. (Sorry personal development industry)
However, we always have the option to 'choose' to create a better one.
Read that again. The first way is resistance, struggle and effort, will
power and constant motivation. The second way is simply an inspired
choice followed by new actions in a better direction. Remember,
happiness is ALWAYS available as an option my friends and it never
depends on the outer world having to look a certain way every minute,
even though we've been sold on the lie that it should.

The Past Can Sometimes Be A Useful Place Of Reference But A
Poor Place Of Residence.
The source of most people’s pain comes from revisiting, reliving and
retelling themselves the bad stories of what has happened in their
past. Whether it was emotional experiences, regrets, missed
opportunities, losses or judgments on what others did - it's a national
pastime for many people. However, if one has the courage to lift the
veil, pull off the blinkers and strive
to climb the ladder of consciousness
to a more enlightened vantage point,
one would realise (or use our real-
eyes) a very different and very
freeing sense of truth. Namely that
there IS NO PAST. It does not exist in
our life other than as a conscious
real-time reconstruction of what our
memory recalls and what our
emotions create. The reality is our
brain and imagination fill in most of

35
the gaps based on one main driver - the meaning we CHOOSE to give
that experience. Remember, it is always a choice. For some a divorce
can be a very painful experience and for others the most liberating one
they could hope for. Some people mourn the loss of a loved one for
decades, others celebrate the life they had and allow their legacy to
continue in the smiles of those left behind each time they think of their
memory. Let's be real - The thoughts of the Past are always a distorted
NOW. In fact try arguing with the fact that the best thing about the past,
is that it’s over! And with that awareness the good news is a new future
is ALWAYS available. Maybe it’s time to go and create the best one you
deserve!

Who If Not You Chooses Your Thoughts?
Why, when we clearly have
the choice, would we choose
to think anything other than
happier thoughts? You see,
when all said and done, its
asking ourselves better
questions that leads us to a
better focus that leads us to
enjoy a better life and NOT
learning new skills, chasing
more stuff or changing one
relationship or job for
another. That can all be part
of the journey but if we are
putting it after thinking
better thoughts or, worse
still, setting it up so we will
only allow ourselves to be happier AFTER we get what we think we
are chasing then chances are we'll get to the end of the game and
realise the ladder we struggled so hard to climb was actually leaning
against the wrong wall. The paradox is the more happy thoughts we
think now (which, by the way is the only time we can ever think them),
the easier it becomes to attract the stuff we are chasing and the less
we actually need it to experience the joys of life. Want more happiness
today? Here are three questions to ask that will make and instant
difference. I also find the sincerity and connectedness of the answers

36
here mean everything and even more so if they are written down - 1)
What are the three things I could be most (or at least more) grateful
for in my life right now? 2) What are my top 10 most magical
memories? 3) What is something I could do or say to someone else
today that they are not expecting and that would make them smile?

When All Said & Done
One of the biggest keys to
unhappiness I find is letting
unsatisfied desires of things
we 'think' are important keep
us from being grateful for
what we have now or from
remembering what really
matters most. Personally, I've
never seen or heard of anyone
at the end of their life, lying in a hospice or on their death bed, say to
someone with their final breath, “Please rush and fetch me my
mahogany framed MBA certificate”, or “I want to die holding a picture
of my Bentley” etc. Instead, it's always the same. Ask anyone who has
worked in a hospice and they will tell you the same story. That when
someone faces their own mortality and come to terms with the fact
they may only have days, hours or minutes to live, they want to find
the people they care about most and tell them how much they love
them. The good news is......

You don't have to wait.


37
Relationships & Love

In a world that has become so
accustomed to transactional
relationships, we forget that the
currency of Love requires no till receipt.
Unconditional Love is expressed because
it is the right thing to do. Because
compassion, kindness and generosity
speak more about you than anything else
you could do with your time or money.
Because it is who you are. Love can never be something you give
because someone did something to 'deserve' it or because you expect
something in return. That's the life of a score-keeper. The sad fact is
most people who play their game of life keeping score (of Money,
Friends, Possessions etc.) get to the end thinking they have won, only
to realise too late that no-one else was actually playing.

Inspiration & Passion

Having often worked alongside Tony
Robbins for the last 15 years I would
often hear Tony say- "The Number
One Reason that stops people from
getting what it is they want, is the
Story they keep telling themselves as
to why they can't have it". We ALL
have a story my friends so give up the
game of 'Yeah but... if you had MY
parents or My boss, My Past, My
Traumas, My Hurt, My blah blah blah'.
That blame game never works and it's those excuses that keep us on
the same hamster wheel of unhappiness. Put simply - CHANGE YOUR
STORY - CHANGE YOUR LIFE. And yes my friends, it really can be that
simple.


38
Find A Smarter Room

I was with Les Brown one time and he said a wonderful quote. "If you
are the smartest money in the room - Find a smarter room!"
Outstanding yet powerful simplicity. Many people hang out with a
peer group that doesn't challenge them (mainly so the primary fear of
not being enough isn't triggered by contrast.) People who live the life
they were born for get comfortable with raising their standards and
that always starts by raising your peer group. Remember, if you hang
out with 10 excuse makers, you become the 11th excuse maker. If you
hang out with 10 self motivated resourceful achievers - you become
the 11th. Love your family - choose your friends. This weeks message
- Get comfortable punching above your weight - magic follows!

Amaze Yourself
Learning is a life-long journey of
discovering things that bring the
best out of ourselves. What
amazing things are you going to
add to your journey this year? One
of my favorite quotes by Jed
Mckenna is this: "If you are not
amazed by how naive you were
yesterday - you're standing still."

Nothing To Prove!
If you feel right about something, why would you feel the need to
prove it to anyone else through justification or argument? Why fall into
the trap, as so many of us do, of feeling compelled to take up a position
and defend it unless our ego was so insecure it needed validation from
others to feel good about itself and its decisions? Upon closer
inspection and self-enquiry we start to understand that when fully
connected to our own sense of Truth, there's no need to defend
anything, no need to conquer and certainly nothing to prove. You are
OK being you and perfectly OK about others being or thinking
different. The ego is then momentarily transcended and one can step
out of many of the unconscious fears we carry around (the fear of
being wrong, the fear of not being agreed with or liked etc. or
ultimately, if you peel back the onion far enough, the fear of not being

39
good enough and therefore unloved). When this happens the magic of
living outside of the good
opinion of others presents
itself as an invitation to
simply love them without
the need for them to agree
with you or even love you
back. This is the end of all
arguments, mood swings
and power games, etc. and
the start of the journey from emotional maturity through to emotional
mastery.

If you don't fall off the edge once in a while, then living on it isn't as
much fun. #Sageism

Inspiration
When I look back at my
life I'll know that my
rewards were the result
of my contribution.

Dare To Dream

This is one of my favorite poems and one that speaks to a higher level
of consciousness and emotional maturity, rather than a level of ego
and validation. Sit with the words and enjoy "The Invitation" by
Oriah, Mountain Dreamer....

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you
ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk
looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being

40
alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to
know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have
been opened by life's betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without
moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can
dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic,
remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to
know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can
bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you
can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every
day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still
stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon,
'Yes!'

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you
have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and
despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to
feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I
want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not
shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I
want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls
away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the
company you keep in the empty moments.

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http://www.oriahmountaindreamer.com/

Playing Safe? Get A Life
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow –
what a ride!’

Money & Abundance

Success Money & Abundance
If you don't write your goals you'll end up working for someone else
that has! #sageism

Your Self Worth Will Always Be More Than Your Net Worth
A big challenge in today’s society is people judging themselves by
confusing their self-worth with their net-worth. Whether you are an
employee or an entrepreneur, your net-worth by definition will
always be subject to the law of impermanence. The winds of life blow
in different directions as the seasons cycle through. However, your
self-worth stands independent. Unconnected to the law of
impermanence, its bank balance is measured in self-love, appreciation,
compassion and joy. None of these things can be bought with any
amount of net-worth. Stop the delusion of thinking the size of your
soul is measured by the size of your wallet or purse and you will start
to find far more riches than you knew you had. Play the game of being
taller by standing on top of your heart, not your bank balance.

Your Self-Worth Will Always Be More Than Your Net Worth
Thinking Question of the week - Is my emotional bank account today
as high as I would like my financial bank account to be tomorrow? If
not, it likely won’t happen as our financial bank account always
FOLLOWS our emotional bank account - not the other way around.


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Success & Failure

Winners in life are not just lucky. They know the right habits count for
everything and that will power, while useful, acts as a temporary
‘boost button’, not a permanent solution. Therefore, they ‘hack’ the
system and take the time to stack the odds in their favor by setting
themselves up to win when they ARE in the mood. More importantly,
they also set up positive expectations IN ADVANCE of the event: Here's
an example - if you’re going to the gym in the morning the make it
easier. Put your gym kit next to the bed the night before. Research
shows that if it’s more than 20 seconds away from you getting out of
bed you’re far less likely to make it. Before you go to sleep, spend 30
seconds getting in a state where you are looking forward to the
training. See yourself getting fitter, stronger, leaner etc. Feel proud of
yourself IN ADVANCE that you are doing amazing work. Another very
useful key here in setting yourself up to win is to give yourself an
‘energy instruction’ before you go to bed. Why is this so incredibly
effective? Because put simply, THE MOOD YOU GO TO SLEEP IN IS
THE MOOD YOU GET UP IN. Hence most people who collapse into bed
thinking ‘oh crap I’ve only got 6 hours before getting up – I'm going to
be so tired tomorrow’ set themselves up to lose from the start. Kids
don't have a problem getting up early Christmas morning but they do
have a problem getting up for school. Think about it – its not because
they take a different pill the night before Christmas. Managing your
self-talk before an event is another aspect winners have mastered.
Take a project you have been putting off as an example. To set yourself
up to win, use your imagination to step into what it feels like having
already completing it. Then, once you have tapped into those
emotions, come back and look at the project from your start point and
change your self-talk to things like ‘what gets started gets finished!’
‘I’m good enough to eat this project’ ‘This is going to play to my
strengths and I’m going to sail through it’ ‘Not only am I going to
complete this but it’s going to be enjoyable and I'm going to grow as a
result – cant wait to get started!’ – turn off email, instant messages put
phones on DND and give yourself a head start. In other words SET
YOURSELF UP TO WIN and go from being a chip on the board to the
one rolling the dice. As an early mentor, George Zalucki, taught me
“Commitment is doing the thing you said you would do long after the
mood you said in has left you." I couldn’t agree more! This is great
when it’s already a habit but to enhance your chances before, do
something while you’re a productive mood that can set yourself up to

43
win for when you’re not in that mood. If you have to start anyway and
are not feeling motivated then check your self-talk and point it in the
direction of success regardless of how you feel and you’ll soon start
feeling more successful.

Keep Thowing!
People rarely hit the bullseye with
their first dart. The ability to give
yourself permission to try and fail is
invaluable. In fact, it's awesome! I
mean, the worst that can really happen
in a modern world? You can’t starve to
death (try it, the government will force
feed you). So you get to live in a smaller
house for a bit - big deal. But in return
for what? We get more experience, more discernment, more hunger
and drive for next time and more stories to tell the grand kids one day.
Get in the game - go swing the bat!

What Is Success?
Notice there may be as many different interpretations of what Success
means as there are people who read this post. And I simply posed one
question. The deeper message here is that success is completely
determined by the rules we have in our inner world that tell us what
we think the outer world should look like in order for us to wear the

44
label of success. What success is for you may not be (well, almost
certainly will not be) the same as what success is for someone else.
Interestingly and on that note, I’ve found is there’s usually a
correlation between how successful we feel and how tolerant we are
of other peoples definitions. The ability to see life through their lenses
allows us to unhook from the need to force our model of the world onto
theirs. Of course it doesn't mean we have to agree, but the insight does
allow us freedom from the need to have other people agree with OUR
point of view in order to feel validated on what is true for us... Anyway,
I digress. What is success for me personally? That definition has
changed at different parts of my life though right now it has far more
to do with having the courage to walk the path that feels right in my
heart. Staying aligned with my values, irrespective of financial gain or
loss. Standing for what I believe in irrespective of the good opinion of
others. Having the ability to close my eyes at night, tired yet victorious
in squeezing dry the experience of the day. And, knowing that if I'm
lucky enough to wake up tomorrow, it will be because I'm here for a
bigger reason than just myself. Success IS the journey! Make it an
amazing week my friends X

LEADERSHIP

In today's world it is rare to find an
example of Leadership in the Truest
sense of the word. Someone who, in the
face of darkness, chooses forgiveness
instead of malice. In the face of peer
pressure chooses compassion instead of
judgment. In the face of corruption
chooses nobility instead of personal
gain and, in the face of history stands for
unification through peace rather than
division by force. Thank you Nelson for
being the example of true leadership
and for leaving the footsteps of Love in
so many hearts for us all to follow


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LIFE & GOD

THINKING QUESTION OF THE DAY on the MEANING OF LIFE. What if
you believed there was a bigger picture and outcome to being here that
lies beyond our current level of understanding? Would you be open to
the possibility or be like most and just distract yourself from the
question with something that wouldn't require you to look as hard in
that mirror? What if you believed we are all connected as part of an
interconnected system rather than individuals in isolation? You see,
the illusion of separateness is similar to white and red blood cells in
the veins. Passing by each other, different colours, different jobs to do,
each born separately, each die separately but intrinsically part of a
bigger whole they have no conscious awareness of, called a body. What
if at a bigger level that were true again? You and I are just blood cells
in the vein of the universe at a level of understanding that supersedes
the minds ability to conceptualise it. Of course the bottom line is – we
don’t know. Or should I say the mind doesn't know. But I DO know
there is a part of us, call it spiritual or Source or whatever label you
wish, that DOES know because it’s made of the same stuff. I know how
you feel when you feel happy or sad because I know how I feel when I
feel happy/sad etc. We’re made of the same stuff. But (just for a
moment) what if we played What If…..? What if we were to mature
emotionally through the minds need for absolutes and be OK with
living in the space of a question and be free to act without the limits of
so called scientific proof (and, by the way, everything science has
proved already existed before science proved it and doesn't care if
‘science’ is able to verify it or not through the limited understanding of
what we currently call science) But I digress . So, what if I chose to
believe we are connected at some higher level. How would that
awareness govern me to act if I was angry with someone if I recognised
they were just a different a part of me? Would I choose to attack
someone or seek more understanding? If the blood cells are in conflict
not harmony we call that an autoimmune disease where the body
attacks itself. It’s a different level of thinking but remember, Einstein
stated you can’t solve a problem at the same level of thinking or
consciousness that created that problem. Therefore my thinking
question of the week is this – How would I show up today in my
interactions with others if I knew that we were all blood cells in the
same body?


46

Faith Is The Evidence Of Things Unseen
Faith is an interesting subject
that unfortunately gets
interwoven with various
religious messages and
therefore becomes somewhat
of a subject that is either
avoided or judged by people
who are not religious or, more
often, becomes a point of
contention between people of
different religions. If we can
grow and learn to see past
that, the concept of Faith
offers an incredible resource
for virtually everyone. We are
all familiar with beliefs,
though beliefs are usually as strong as the references we have for them
(either our reference or ones we see demonstrated by others) so, just
like a table, the more legs (references) a belief has, the stronger it is.
For example I have a strong belief that I can start a successful business
as I have done it many times. Though that belief is not available to
everyone. Faith, however is different. The power of Faith lies in the fact
it needs no reference at all. This makes it powerful and also accessible
to anyone. When we get out of our thinking centre and operate more
from our feeling centre, Faith can allow us to relax a little and let go of
our death grip on how we
think our reality should
behave. Most of us only set
goals we know HOW to
achieve or are less stressed
by problems and challenges
we know HOW to solve. So
where does Faith come in?
Faith allows us to hold the
vision of a positive outcome
while entrusting THE HOW
WILL SHOW UP. In many
cases this becomes a self
fulfilling prophesy as what
was preventing access to the

47
How in the first place, was the stress caused by not knowing what it
was! Hmm… interesting. Have more Faith my friends, after all, one
simple shift in thinking such as knowing Life happens FOR you rather
than Life happens TO you could be a game changer in how YOUR life
unfolds Faith is an interesting subject that unfortunately gets
interwoven with various religious messages and therefore becomes
somewhat of a subject that is either avoided or judged by people who
are not religious or, more often, becomes a point of contention
between people of different religions. If we can grow and learn to see
past that, the concept of Faith offers an incredible resource for
virtually everyone. We are all familiar with beliefs, though beliefs are
usually as strong as the references we have for them (either our
reference or ones we see demonstrated by others) so, just like a table,
the more legs (references) a belief has, the stronger it is. For example
I have a strong belief that I can start a successful business as I have
done it many times. Though that belief is not available to everyone.
Faith, however is different. The power of Faith lies in the fact it needs
no reference at all. This makes it powerful and also accessible to
anyone. When we get out of our thinking centre and operate more
from our feeling centre, Faith can allow us to relax a little and let go of
our death grip on how we think our reality should behave. Most of us
only set goals we know HOW to achieve or are less stressed by
problems and challenges we know HOW to solve. So where does Faith
come in? Faith allows us to hold the vision of a positive outcome while
entrusting THE HOW WILL SHOW UP. In many cases this becomes a
self fulfilling prophesy as what was preventing access to the How in
the first place, was the stress caused by not knowing what it was!
Hmm… interesting. Have more Faith my friends, after all, one simple
shift in thinking such as knowing Life happens FOR you rather than
Life happens TO you could be a game changer in how YOUR life
unfolds.

Learn To Flow With The
River Of Life
There is a difference
between following skills
and raising our skill level
and even raising our
certainty level and raising
our consciousness. Most
people have it backwards,

48
most people are addicted to learning more, doing more in the hope
that at some level that will give them the certainty to move forward. If
you change your level of consciousness your behaviour your skills set
your certainty will follow.

Dogs Of War
Subjects like war always stir up emotions ranging from courage and
solidarity through to regret and vengeance. On Remembrance Day,
what I choose to focus on is the fact that millions of human beings on
all sides of the battle gave their lives for something they stood up for,
believed in and marched on. That, aside from the legacy of freedom
they left, is an inspirational lesson for the rest of us. Let us hope at
some point during our lifetime we can at least walk in the footsteps of
their bravery for a cause we too would stand up for with such
conviction. A cause that inspires us to greatness with hope, not
through conflict. A cause that inspires others to make use of the legacy
that was left to do something good with. A cause that speaks from our
hearts, not our battle plans - for that cause will be a legacy that those
who paid the ultimate price will be proud they allowed us to believe in

Flexibility Is Key
Life is a pretty unregimented experience and while it's good to have
rituals and have targets and goals and focus, you need a degree of
flexibility. If you're in touch with a certain level of inner guidance,
inner truth whether that comes from meditation or being in flow then
I’m a firm believer that the people I’m meant to meet will be guided to
that experience.

I mean, have you noticed there are no straight lines in nature? Only
the mind thinks in straight lines, which is why virtually every straight
line you see is man made. Look at a river from the air. Every one,
regardless of topography, always follows the same winding pattern,
even across flat land. Why do rivers do that?

49
It’s because nature understands

that getting to your destination is
never a straight line. But also
there is a law in nature that states,
it never wastes energy in vain.
With that awareness we can look
at the bends in the river of our life
as part of the natural journey and
stop resisting or trying to drag our
boat across the road to where the river is flowing back in the direction
we wanted. If we relax a little, we’ll find that the bend was there to
catapult us faster around the corner. Another way of looking at this is
to look back on our journey and realise (real-eyes) there’s likely no
seemingly bad circumstance that happened to us that 6 months later
we were not grateful for and saying to ourselves “Wow, thank god that
happened or I wouldn't be doing this now” etc. Trust the flow of the
river, nature is much smarter than our limited intellect so stop fighting
the current and allow it to take you to your goals by a different route.
This requires a sense of letting go of the need for control and
recognizing a bigger picture is in play.

Conclusion & Invitation

Why do more people not think this way?

Well, if the law of conformity states our environment dictates most of
our habitual thinking then let's start with what influences many of us
the most. For the vast majority this happens to be the media.

Through intelligent observation it doesn't take long to realise the
business model of the media is to place readership or viewership over
objective truth. Lets remind ourselves that facts are always subjective,
completely context dependent and will forever present themselves in
a variety of different shades based upon the light that they are
highlighted or shown in. This is also highly evident in the modern
courtroom where winners and losers are frequently not decided by
who is actually right or wrong but by those who can present their
argument in the most convincing manner. After all, the supreme court,
the highest in the land, rarely has three judges make a unanimous
decision, even though the law is written in black and white. Life, just

50
like everything else, will always be subjective and the more we hold
onto our beliefs as truths, the more we will miss the transition from a
flat Earth to a round one. Another awareness to consider is that ‘an
event is just an event’ and the meaning we instantly ascribe to it will
ALWAYS be subjective based on our relationship TO the event. This is
a level of growth many never reach. For example, if a lion tracks, kills
and eats a cute baby zebra, it's not right or wrong, good or bad. IT'S
JUST AN EVENT. If you are the mother of the baby zebra, your
relationship to that event labels it a bad day. If you are the lioness
who’s cubs will starve that night if she doesn’t make a kill, it's a good
day. To the tree growing on the savanna, it’s immaterial. It’s just an
event. A lion killed a zebra. When it comes to ascribing meaning, the
craftsmanship of the media is to steer the audience into a ‘pre-
determined’ viewpoint based upon the presentation and selected
angle and syntax of certain highlighted facts whilst giving the ‘illusion
of free choice' through the presence of seemingly 'unbiased'
information. It is an unfortunate position that most reporters and
journalists who work in the industry are more focused (both
consciously and unconsciously) on serving this business model while
simultaneously projecting & protecting their own significance/ego
under the guise of such misaligned self-identities as 'protector of the
people' or ‘exposé of the truth’. Similarly, when any newspaper takes
up a ‘cause’ then before one word is printed, the cause has already
been assessed as to how much favorable exposure or positioning it will
generate in the eyes of the well meaning but gullible audience.
Unfortunately, authentic examples of objective journalism these days
are more the exception than the rule.

Welcome to a world that values being popular over and above
projecting truth and does so in a way that pulls people down to that
level before they really know what happened or why. The classic
example being that in today’s connected world, getting more 'Likes' on
a post or trying to rally or recruit more agreement seems more
important than making a truthful declaration of what you believe or
are happy to own as a viewpoint regardless of consensus. Hence we
find one of the most compelling (though rare) characteristics of
Leadership is the willingness to be unpopular in the moment for what
one truly believes would serve the best and longer term interests of
the greater good.

Politics itself becomes self-defeating in this area as the first role of any
politician or government is to satisfy popular consensus so as to be re-

51
elected in 4 years time and not to do what is ‘right’ in serving the

people beyond that. It’s a shame these two agendas rarely overlap.

Thus we find one of the greatest attributes of human character is to be
able to act independently of the good opinion of others and instead be
guided from a deeper place of personal truth. Being able to recognise
that whatever I feel is ‘My Truth’, is not necessarily (in fact
predictably) going to align with what ‘Your Truth’ is and being OK with
that is one of the first steps to emotional maturity. This allows us the
freedom of acting ‘Authentically’ in accordance with our own truth,
without being thrown off balance by the need for others to conform to
it, align with it, agree with it or draw us into a pointless argument as
to who’s viewpoint or ‘truth’ is better.

This weekend I invite you to take some time to contemplate what
drives us. How we represent ourselves when we are alone as opposed
to when we feel others are watching (i.e judging) and see where the
gap is. For example, are you more likely to pick up a piece of litter in
the park when people are watching, or because it’s there and it’s the
right thing to do? Give yourself the challenge of being authentic for the
day and feel the real power in the freedom it brings. Remember, the
quality of our outer world can only EVER be a reflection of the quality
of our inner world. Never the other way around.

The road to owning oneself at a level of personal authenticity and
sincerity will never be found in the pages or channels of the press or
outside voices of popular opinion which, by nature, breed and feed off
divisiveness and contrary viewpoints. All engineered in advance to
capture and enroll those who are sleeping awake.

No, it is found in listening to the inner spirit that compels us to reach
beyond the comfortable grass of the herd and seek our nature in
growth, contribution and ultimately a love for ourselves and others
that shows up in kindness, compassion, understanding and tolerance.
Do one thing today, just one that will put a smile on someone else’s
face and get in touch with how it feels. Not to score points. Not to win
favor of those around you. Not to feed an insatiable need for approval,
significance or to repair a poor self-image or boost an inflated ego –
but from a deeper place that knows it’s the right thing to do. I promise
you the feeling will last much longer than if the personality was
looking for an ego stroke.


52
THAT’S being authentic my friends. Go be a smile creator this weekend

and spread some joy for no other reason than to discover it’s in our
‘authentic’ nature to do so. I think you will like who shows up.

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MindFood – Upgrading Your Mental Diet

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How to get the most out of this book

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