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Beautiful Lessons in Biblical

Friendship from David and
Jonathan
Kristi Walker 2019

| Author 19 Oct

“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy,

like art ... It has no survival value;
rather it is one of those things which give
value to survival.”

― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

“And Saul’s son Jonathan went to David at

Horesh and helped him find strength in God”
(1 Samuel 23:16).

David was a shepherd; Jonathan was a prince.

Jonathan had his own armor; David had a harp and a
slingshot. Jonathan grew up in the palace and was
trained in the art of war; David grew up in the “little
town of Bethlehem” and was trained to tend sheep.
Jonathan was the oldest son and in line to inherit the
throne; David was the youngest of eight boys and
anointed the next king in place of Jonathan. Jonathan
was of the tribe of Benjamin; David the tribe of Judah.
Despite their differences, they were, arguably, the best
friends the world has ever known.

We have all heard the epic story of young David’s

miraculous victory against Goliath, the Philistine giant,
taking him down with only a stone and a sling (1
Samuel 17:50). Before that happened, however,
Jonathan and his armor bearer alone killed 20
Philistines (14:14), after which God caused a panic
resulting in the Philistine army “melting away in all
directions” (14:16) allowing Saul and his men to defeat
them.

An Unlikely Friendship
Jonathan, already a great man of war, likely met the
young David in the palace on one of the many
occasions that David was called upon to play the harp,
or lyre, for the emotionally tormented King Saul.
(“David went back and forth from Saul to tend his
father’s sheep at Bethlehem” 1 Samuel 17:15). Their
friendship began though soon after David slew Goliath.

“As soon as David returned from killing the

Philistine, Abner took him and brought him
before Saul, with David still holding the
Philistine’s head. . . . After David had
finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became
one in spirit with David, and he loved him as
himself” (1 Samuel 17:57, 18:1).

Imagine Jonathan’s first impressions of the young

musician/giant slayer: warrior by day, song writer by
night. It isn’t often in life that your hero is younger than
you, but this was the case for Jonathan. David was a
hero. He could soothe the king, defeat the enemy, and
cause the ladies to swoon.

Whatever mission Saul sent him on, David

was so successful that Saul gave him a high
rank in the army. This pleased all the troops,
and Saul’s officers as well.When the men
were returning home after David had killed
the Philistine, the women came out from all
the towns of Israel to meet King Saul with
singing and dancing, with joyful songs and
with timbrels and lyres. As they danced,
they sang: “Saul has slain his thousands,
and David his tens of thousands” (1 Samuel
18:5-7).

While most men in Jonathan’s shoes would have felt

jealous and threatened, Jonathan saw what God saw in
David: “The Lord does not look at the things people
look at. People look at the outward appearance, but
the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7). And David
was “a man after God’s own heart” (1 Samuel 13:14).
David often gets recognition for his heart for God, but
Jonathan clearly had a depth of spiritual insight and
discernment worth mentioning and remembering.

Commonalities That
Bonded Them Together
Jonathan and David came from very different
backgrounds, but they had a few key things in
common: They were both warriors, they were men of
faith who served the living God, they were provided
with God-given courage and strength, and they
needed each other.

A Covenant Friendship
They became fast friends and sealed their friendship
with an oath.

And Jonathan made a covenant with David

because he loved him as himself. Jonathan
took off the robe he was wearing and gave it
to David, along with his tunic, and even his
sword, his bow and his belt (1 Samuel 18:1-
4).

Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for we

have sworn friendship with each other in the
name of the Lord, saying, ‘The Lord is
witness between you and me, and between
your descendants and my descendants
forever’” (1 Samuel 20:42).

We know a few other things from the books of 1 and 2

Samuel. We know that David married Jonathan’s sister,
Michal, and became Jonathan’s brother-in-law (1
Samuel 18:27). Jonathan ended up protecting David
and saving his life (19:1-6, 20:1-42). David was chosen
by God and appointed to replace Saul as king of Israel
instead of Jonathan, and still Jonathan loved David
(20:31). Only a true friend could make this statement:
“You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to
you” (23:17). After Jonathan’s death, David wrote him
a lament, or funeral dirge, in which he, once again,
expressed his deep and undying love:

“Saul and Jonathan—

in life they were loved and admired,
and in death they were not parted.
They were swifter than eagles,
they were stronger than lions.

How the mighty have fallen in battle!

Jonathan lies slain on your heights.
I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother;
you were very dear to me.
Your love for me was wonderful,
more wonderful than that of women.”

(2 Samuel 1:23, 25-26)

In Jonathan’s honor, David cared for his son,

Mephibosheth (lame in both feet), who ate at David’s
table “like one of the king’s sons” (2 Samuel 9:11).

Four Takeaways from the

Friendship of David and
Jonathan
So, what can we learn from the friendship of David and
Jonathan?

1. Friendship is a gift from God

In his book The Four Loves, C.S. Lewis said:

“In friendship...we think we have chosen our

peers. In reality a few years' difference in the
dates of our births, a few more miles
between certain houses, the choice of one
university instead of another...the accident
of a topic being raised or not raised at a first
meeting--any of these chances might have
kept us apart. But, for a Christian, there are,
strictly speaking no chances. A secret
master of ceremonies has been at work.
Christ, who said to the disciples, ‘Ye have
not chosen me, but I have chosen you,’ can
truly say to every group of Christian friends,
‘Ye have not chosen one another but I have
chosen you for one another.’ The friendship
is not a reward for our discriminating and
good taste in finding one another out. It is
the instrument by which God reveals to each
of us the beauties of others.”

Not only does God grant us friends in life, Jesus taught

us by example everything we need to know about
friendship. He offers us the greatest friendship
imaginable!

Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life
for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I
command. I no longer call you servants, because a
servant does not know his master’s business. Instead,
I have called you friends, for everything that I learned
from my Father I have made known to you (John 15:13-
15).

2. A true friend is true

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a

time of adversity”(Proverbs 17:17). Jonathan had
reasons to give up on David. Their friendship was not
without stress. Jonathan’s very life was threatened
because of his loyalty to David (1 Samuel 20:32, 33),
and yet Jonathan was certainly a faithful “brother.”
And, in the end, David remained faithful to the
descendants of Jonathan, caring for them as if they
were his own family members.

3. A true friend loves you as he loves himself (1

Samuel 18:1; 20:17)

Twice we read that Jonathan loved David as he loved

himself. In the New Testament, this is exactly how
Jesus tells us to love each other: “Love your neighbor
as yourself” (Matthew 22:39). Again, Jesus is the
ultimate example of this type of love. He quite literally
loved us in this way when He gave up His life to save
us! If you do not have a personal friendship with Jesus
Christ, read about His love for you in the Gospels.
David and Jonathan’s friendship was inspiring, but
Jesus is an even greater friend!

4. A true friend helps you find strength in God (1

Samuel 23:16)

This is an incredible testimony of friendship: “And

Saul’s son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and
helped him find strength in God” (1 Samuel 23:16).
Look for that quality in friends. Choose friends who
help you find strength in God. Be someone who helps
others find strength in God! Love pushes us to better
places. True friendship will push you to God!

Photo credit: Getty Images/Ridofranz

Kristi Walker has been a missionary in Berlin,

Germany for over 15 years working with an
international church as the Director of Student
Ministries. She is the author of two books
- Disappointment: A Subtle Path Away from
Christ and Convinced. Applying Biblical Principles to
Life’s Choices.

Bible / Bible Study / Topical Studies

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