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Female Sexual Response and the Timing

of Partner Orgasm
a b c
Carol Anderson Darling , J. Kenneth Davidson & Ruth P. Cox
a
Department of Family, Child, and Consumer Sciences, The Florida
State University, Tallahassee, FI, 32306
b
Department of Sociology and Anthropology, University of
Wisconsin, Eau Claire, Eau Claire, Wl, 54702
c
Department of Family, Child, and Consumer Sciences, The Florida
State University, Tallahassee, FL, 32306
Published online: 14 Jan 2008.

To cite this article: Carol Anderson Darling , J. Kenneth Davidson & Ruth P. Cox (1991) Female Sexual
Response and the Timing of Partner Orgasm, Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 17:1, 3-21, DOI:
10.1080/00926239108405464

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 Female Sexual Response and
the Timing of Partier Orgasm
CAROL ANDERSON DARLING,
J . KENNETH DAVIDSON, Sr., and R U T H P. COX

Although orgasm can be experienced in many ways with or without a

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partner, partner involvement continues to be a noted preference for

many women. In order to examine the timing of partner orgasm in
relationship to female sexual response, women who usually experience
orgasm before, simultaneously, or after their male partner's first orgasm
were examined in the context of their orgasmic behaviors, role of their
partners in sexual interaction, and their level of sexual satisfaction. A
survey research design, which utilized the responses of 709 adult women,
indicated that those women who usually experienced orgasm after lheir
male partners perceived less physiologacal and psychologtcal sexual sat-
isfaction. Furthermore, several other significant results were found re-
garding timing of partner orgasm. With the failure to reach orgasm
through sexual intercourse being reported by women as a common sexual
complaint, sex educators and therapisk can use these findings to facil-
itate an increased awareness of timing factors influencing satisfying
sexual relationships.

Although orgasm can be experienced in many ways with or without a

partner, the involvement of a male partner continues to be a noted pref-

Carol Anderson Darling, Ph.D., is Professor o f Family and Child Sciences, Department of Family.
Child, and Consumer Sciences, T h e Florida State University, Tallahassee, F1. 32306. J. Kenneth
Davidson, Sr., Ph.D.. is Professor of Sociology, Department of Sociology and Anthropology, Uni-
versity of Wisronsin, Eau Claire, Eau Claire, WI 54702. Ruth P. Cox, Ph.D., R.N., Marriage arid
Family Therapy, Department of Family, Child, and Consumer Sciences, T h e Florida State University,
Tallahassee, FL 32306.
An earlier version of this paper was presented at the Annual Meeting of the Society for the
Scientific Study of Sex. Toronto, Canada, in November 1989. T h e investigators wish to ackr~owledge
t w o grants from the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire Grants-in-Aid of Research Prograni which
have partially provided the resources for data collection, coding, and analyses. T h e authors also wish
to thank Barbara L. Finstad, Sue Hulberg, Wendy L. 'I'ischendorf, and Katherine Treunsfels.
Research Assistants, University of Wisconsin-Eau <;laire for their many contributions t o this research
project. In addition. appreciation is herein expressed for support from the Aradenrir Coniputing
Services Center for data analyses and for the tables produced by the Media Development Center
with support from the School of Graduate Studies and Office of University Research. University ol'
Wisconsin-Eau Claire.

Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, Vol. 17, No. 1, Spring 1991 0 BrunnedMazel, Inc.
3
 ‘1 Journal of Sex U Marital Therapy, Val. 1 7 , N o . I , Spring 1991

erence for many women. In fact, researchers have suggested that orgasms
achieved with a partner present are characterized by greater physiological
satisfaction, more intimacy, and deeper pelvic feelings. Furthermore,
many women still prefer vaginally induced orgasms, not only because t h e
physical pleasure is greater either in intensity or in frequency of orgasmic
response, but also because of greater emotional meaning for the partner-
related sexual activity.* ‘Therefore, t h e partner-relationship context
within which one experiences orgasm and the physiological influence of
this environment have a substantial impact o n how physiological aspects
of orgasm are perceived by women.’
Although various factors have been investigated regarding the dimen-
sions of women’s physiological and psychological sexual responses, there
are virtually n o studies o n the relationship of women’s sexual response
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a n d the timing of partner orgasm. Information o n timing has been as-

sociated with such topics as clarifying the false belief that simultaneous
orgasms are necessary for conception or demystifying the premise that
simultaneous orgasms offer the ultimate in coital experience.? In the
l950s, the idea that mutual orgasms were the ultimate sexual pleasure
became popular and was advocated in numerous marriage manuals.
Many people attempted to “fine tune” the timing of their sexual re-
sponses, but working at sexual activity usually resulted in a loss of spon-
taneity and fun. While m.utual orgasms can be exhilarating, individuals
can become so involved in their own impending orgasm or their partner’s
orgasm that u n d u e pressure is added to the experience a n d pleasure
becomes i m p o ~ s i b l e . ~ . ~
Another timing issue that has received considerable attention in the
literature is premature or rapid ejaculation. Although difficult to define,
previous definitions, which are now discarded, used a specific duration
of time for sexual intercourse as the ,dividing line or a specific minimum
number of penile thrusts. Similarly, a man was considered to ejaculate
prematurely if his partner was not orgasmic in at least 50% of their coital
episodes.s While definitional problems still exist, in general, premature
ejaculation is considered to be an unintentional ejaculation prior to or
shortly following insertion of the penis into the vagina with the use of
reasonable voluntary ~ e l f - c o n t r o l .Thus,
~ - ~ it is obvious that self or partner
perceptions of premature o r rapid ejaculation are related to the timing
relationship between partners and their mutual orgasms. Consequently,
in order to investigate the relative dimensions of the timing issue more
fully, women who usually experience orgasm before, simultaneously or
after their male partner’s orgasm were examined in regard to their or-
gasmic behavior, the role of their partners in sexual interaction, a n d their
level o f sexual satisfaction.

REVIEW OF LITERATURE

Although almost all women are capable of experiencing a n orgasm,

some women do so inconsistently, while others never experience orgasm.
Kinsey et a].* reported that 10% of married American women a n d 30%
 Ferntile Sexual Response and the Timing of Partner Orgasm 3

of sexually active unmarried women had never experienced orgasm, a n d

40% of women were orgasmic in only 10 of every 100 of their coital
experiences. More recent reports indicate that 4-10% of adult women
have never experienced an orgasm. However, women, in general, are
orgasmic only 40-80% of the time, regardless of the method of stimu-
lation.2+12 An examination of female orgasmic consistency found that
75% of the low consistency women reported experiencing orgasm less
than 10% of the time, whereas 53% of the high consistency women had
experienced orgasm more than 90% of the time. Moreover, women who
inconsistently experienced orgasm attributed their lack of orgasm t o self-
blame, while not taking credit when they reached orgasm. In contrast,
women with high orgasmic consistency attributed their orgasmic success
to their ability or their partner’s ability and did not assume self-blame
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for anorgasmia.I s Furthermore, the failure to reach orgasm through sex-

ual intercourse by women, who are otherwise fully responsive sexually,
is the most common sexual complaint encountered in sexual treatment
centers. I
When examining what makes heterosexual couples content with their
sex life, sexual intercourse was found to be just one sexual act antorig
others that heterosexual men enjoy, but represented a central ingredient
in women’s happiness.14 Orgasms achieved via sexual intercourse have
been described by women as building more slowly, having n o sharp peaks,
lasting longer, tending to be experienced more internally, and being
accompanied by a deep sense of emotional release and satisfaction. Sexual
intercourse also requires equal participation of both partners compared
to other sexual acts. Hence, neither partner only “gives” or “receives,”
which, for women, results in a shared intimacy and greater emotional
meaning for partner-related sexual intercourse in comparison to other
sexual a c t i v i t i e ~ . ’ . ~ . ’ ~ . ’ ~
Since sexual intercourse is a partner-related activity, considerable re-
search is available regarding partner-related factors associated with sexual
response. Gospodinoff,16 in his work on bodily contact, suggests that
women have tended to be highly dependent o n men for their initial
introduction into physiological sexual activities, and that sexual a n d or-
gasmic responsivity have been found to be positively associated with fe-
male desire for bodily contact.
T h e role of partners in foreplay is another important dimension of
sexual interaction. Foreplay that precedes sexual intercourse is estimated
to bc rather limited in time, about 12 to 13 minutes.!’ Moreover, research
has also linked inadequate foreplay and/or partner stimulation t o specific
female sexual complaints. T h e most frequently reported sexual com-
plaints were: difficulty maintaining sexual arousal-67%; difficulty be-
coming sexually aroused-64%; lack of affection from p a r t n e r - 4 9 % ;
and inability to reach orgasm with partner’s s t i r n ~ l a t i o n 4 5 % .When
’~
compared to either sexual intercourse and/or afterplay, many women
indicated that foreplay was the most important aspect of the sexual en-
counter.“’However, it has yet t o be tested whether o r not lengthy foreplay
 with brief' penile intromission is as effective for achieving female orgasm
as brief foreplay and lengthy intromission.
According t o Klassen and Wilsnack," 27% of their female respondents
perceived their male partners experienced orgasm too soon. Yet, there
is little research on the various timing dimensions of female orgasm
during sexual intercourse. O n e of' the few investigations o n the length
of time required for women to attain orgasm from the point that sexual
intercourse begins, as well as how long they estimated their partners
needed to attain orgasm, was conducted by Fisher." O n the average,
women seemed to require about eight minutes to achieve orgasm, with
some women requiring as little as one minute, and others needing as
long as 30 minutes to experience orgasm. 'I'hese women estimated that
it took longer (40430% more time) for them to attain orgasm than it did
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for their partners. In t w o of the seven samples contained in this study,

about 63% of the women reached orgasm by the sequence of clitoral
stimulation followed by penile intromission, while about 35% reached
orgasm b y clitoral stimulation before o r after their partner attained or-
gasm bv intromission. Furthermore, 64% of the respondents reached
orgasm at a time other than when their male partners did SO.]'
T h e sexual context within which one achieves orgasm a n d the psycho-
logical influence of the environment have a substantial impact o n how
the physiological aspects of orgasm are subjectively perceived by wornen. I
T h e quality o f orgasrnic response has been found to be influenced by
mood, timing, environment, and other subjective factors such as rnern-
ories, experiences, emotions, thoughts, associations, guilt, and anxiety.""
.l'he depth of' involvement with the partner can also affect the ability to
experience orgasm. For example, in comparison to petting and/or mutual
masturbation, oral sex and sexual intercourse require deeper levels of
psychological involvement with a partner in order to experience orgasm.2'
Finally, women report a large variety of behaviors by which their part-
ners can inhibit sexual arousal.'? T h e largest category of such behaviors
is "insensiti\~sexual behavior" such as excessive roughness and forcing
one's partner to have undesired sexual activities (e.g., anal intercourse,
sexual intercourse in an uncomfortable position, etc.). Wornen more often
than men reported that their partners engaged in goal-oriented sexual
activity and the use of' offensive language. Lack of orgasmic response can
be caused by inadequate clitoral stimulation resulting from a lack of
tenderness, ineptness of sexual partner, inconsistency of stimulation, and
lack of' a sexual partner with sexual attractiveness.'5 Also, other factors
can inhibit orgasm such as trying too hard, being worried about expe-
riencing orgasm, and worrying about what your partncr will think if you
do not reach an orgasm.
Due t o changes in sexual attitudes in recent years, considerable atten-
tion has been f'ocused on the changing perspectives of female sexuality
a s it relates t o the desire for experiencing sexual satisfaction. 2:3-25 A sense
of'satistaction with one's sexual l i f e is a highly personal sentiment, greatly
influenced hv an individual's past experiences, current expectations, a n d
fu t 11re as pi ra t ion s . ' ~
For women, greater sexual satisf'actiori is related t o involve~nentin a
 Ftvnale Sexual RespolzJe and the Timing of Partner Orgasm 7

close, personal relationship, their partner's participation in arousal activ-

ities, their partner's emphasis on the woman experiencing an orgasm,
and the consistency of orgasmic response.' Women report less sexual
satisfaction when they have emotionally received more from the rela-
tionship than they feel they deserve, whereas the level of sexual satisfac-
tion remains virtually unchanged for men when they perceive themselves
in a similar situation.27Thus, women place greater emphasis than men
on the emotional aspects of the relationship and are more inclined to
view sexuality and its pleasure-giving qualities as both physiologically and
psychologically more diffuse. Findings by Carroll et suggest that
many women are unlikely to want sexual intercourse for physical pleasure
in the absence of psychological involvement.
While some researchers have indicated that orgasm and frequency of
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orgasm are not critical for the enjoyment of sexual intercourse,'F.2".""

other studies have found that greater marital happiness is associated with
a higher percentage of sexual intercourse experiences leading to female
Perhaps the ultimate measure of sexual Satisfaction is the
quality of time following the orgasm.6 This is a period of time when the
partners are more relaxed, intimate, and open to new ideas and sugges-
tions. Thus, it appears that both individual and partner-related variables
are central to sexual satisfaction for women.
Women and men often see the sexual relationship in different ways.
Wives report less sexual fulfillment in their marriage than husbands,
while husbands are more likely to see the sexual relationship as a separate
component of the marriage.33 T h e routine nature of sex can also be a
problem.34A majority of married women (91%)reported that having sex
in places other than their marital bed added an extra degree of excitement
and put variety into their sex lives. Others have concluded a trend exists
whereby more men desire their partners to engage in more variations of
sexual behavior than they d o presently.22
Since there is minimal research regarding the relative timing of male
and female orgasms during sexual intercourse, the purpose of this study
was to examine the relationship of the timing of male partner orgasm to
female sexual response. More specifically, women who usually experience
orgasm before, simultaneously, or after their partner's orgasm were in-
vestigated with regard to the dimensions of their orgasmic behaviors, the
role of their partner in sexual interaction, sexual satisfaction, and the
changes, i f any, that they desired in their sexual lives. With the failure
to achieve orgasm through coitus being reported by women as a common
sexual complaint, sex educators and therapists can use these findings t o
facilitate an increased awareness of factors affecting satisfying sexual
relationships.
METHODOLOGY
Procedure
An anonymous questionnaire was distributed, with the assistance of
professional acquaintances, to professional female nurses in 15 states
representing all geographical regions. T h e questionnaire packets were
 8 Journal of Sex k? Marital Therapy, Vol. 1 7 , No. 1 , Spring 1991

disseminated by internal mail distribution centers and by first-class mail

through the use of mailing labels supplied by the selected health-care
facilities employing professional nurses. Completed questionnaires were
returned directly to the investigators through the use of postage-paid
business reply envelopes.
T h e questionnaire consisted of 122 open-form and closed-form items
concerning sexual attitudes, sexual behavior, and sexual response. T h e
survey instrument was first pretested with students enrolled in upper
division marriage/family and human sexuality courses. T h e revised ques-
tionnaire was then pretested a second time utilizing the nursing staff of
a large Midwestern family planning organization. Finally, the question-
naire was critically reviewed by 10 female professionals involved either
in teaching and/or research about human sexuality and/or the delivery
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of community-based family planning services.

Sample

T h e respondents who were the focus of this investigation constituted a

sample of 868 professional nurses. T h e ability to perceive physiological
differences in the orgasmic response was crucial for the purposes of the
original investigation. Therefore, a purposeful sample of nurses was used
because the investigators believed that college-educated nurses would
have a higher degree of familiarity with anatomical structures and phys-
iological processes associated with sexual responsiveness, and would,
therefore, be able to reply in more precise language to the open-form
items concerning the orgasmic response.
Given the nature of the research questions, those individuals who had
stated their sexual orientation as lesbian (12 cases) were not included in
these data analyses. Also, those persons who did not possess at least an
associate college degree (R.N.) in nursing (51 cases) were excluded from
the subsample. Since timing of orgasm during sexual intercourse was of
importance in this study, only those women who had experienced both
sexual intercourse and orgasm and who were able to report the timing
of their orgasm relative to their partner’s orgasm were included in the
study. Timing of orgasm was determined by the following question: Dur-
ing sexual intercourse, at what point does your most recent male sex
partner usually achieve his first orgasm? Using these criteria, 11.6%of
the respondents were excluded from these analyses for the following
reasons: unable to have an orgasm (2.6%);used withdrawal ( 1.1%); timing
varied with sexual intercourse position (0.7%);could not designate a
single time (0.9%);or did not respond to the question regarding timing
of‘partner orgasm (6.3%).
In this final subsample of 709 (88.3%) professional nurses, the edu-
cational levels were: 11.3% associate degree (R.N.) in nursing; 27.4%
three-year diploma in nursing; 51.8% baccalaureate degree; and 9.7%
master’s or doctor of philosophy degree. For marital status, the respond-
ents indicated: 26.9% never married; 59.5% married; 1 I .4% divorced/
 Female Sexual Response and the Timing of Partner Orgasm 9

separated; and 1.7% widowed. The respondents also ranged in age from
20 to 63 years, with 68.2% being between ages 20 and 35.

Statistical Analysis

Given the nonrandom manner in which the volunteer respondents were

selected and the levels of measurement developed for the data collection
process, the chi square test was the primary basis for ascertaining the
significance of any differences among respondent groups for nominal
variables. For ordinal variables, the student l-test was used, while analysis
of variance was employed for interval scale variables. In keeping with
customary usage, the level of significance was set at p < .05. It should be
noted that the reported p values of .OOO were, in fact, zero to three
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decimal places using 0.5 or greater as the basis for rounding the values
upward.

FINDINGS

Dimensions of Orgasmic Behavior

In order to inore fully examine the timing of the male partner orgasm
in conjunction with female orgasm, a question regarding the timing of
the male partner’s orgasm was utilized. As a result, the respondents were
categorized into three groups: Before, those women who experienced
their first orgasm before their male partner (40.1%; n = 322); Simulkz-
neous, those women who experienced their first orgasm at about the same
time as their male partner (16.8% n = 135); and After, those women who
experienced their first orgasm after their male partner (3 1.4%;n = 252).
An examination of the background information on the respondents
indicated that the age at which they first experienced orgasm ranged
from 3 to 40 years with the majority (89.9%) clustered between 10 and
26 years. T h e mean ages for experiencing first orgasm for each group
were 16.1 years for the Before group, 17.4 years for the Simultaneous
group, and 17.3 years for the After group [F (2, 687) = 3.97; d.6 =
2,687; p < .019]. While there is little difference between the mean ages
for the After and Simultaneous groups, the Before group began to ex-
perience orgasm approximately one year earlier than the other two
groups.
In determining how often an orgasm was experienced during sexual
intercourse, the responses for the total group ranged from always
( 1 1.3%),almost always (54.6%), sometimes (17.7%), rarely (9.3%), to
never (7.2%).When examining the always and almost always categories,
these combined responses were indicated by 79.3%of the Before group,
85.0% of the Simultaneous group, and 37.6%of the After group. There
was a significant difference among the three groups regarding overall
frequency [x2(8, n = 709) = 152.29; p < .OOO].
 10 .lournal of Sex Manta1 Therapy, Vol. 17, No. I. Spnn,g 1991

'TABLE 1
Partner-Related Techniques of Experiencing Orgasm
by 'Timing of Partner Orgasm
I lining of I'artncr Orgatm
Total'
1 echnqiie\ Before Simultaneous After Gioup (;roiip?
(71 = 322) 01 - 115) ( n = 252) (n = 709) Diffeienrc

% % 9 lo X2 P

Manual Srimulationl(:liroraI
Area with Scxual Intercourse R8.4 n9.6 74.9 84.0 22.18 .000*

Sianiial a n d Oral Stiniulation/

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Cliliiial Area and Vaginal Area 89.0 80.6 69.4 80. 7 33.56 .OI)O*

hliinual Stimirlation/Cliroi-al
.Are;i W/O Sexual Intercourse 84.3 70.9 69.8 76.7 19.22 .noo*

5lanual arid Oral Stiniulation/

Climr:il .Aie:a and Nipples W/O
Sexual Intercourse n5.o 72.4 64.7 75.6 3 I .o5 .ooo*
u i with Vaginal
Scxual I n t c r ~ ~ rse
Penetr:iuon~MaleA b o w 78.4 87.3 63.0 74.9 30.75 .000*

Oral StimulauoidClitoral Area Al R 76.9 (i0.Y 73.7 31.55 .000*

Oral a n d Manual Stimulation/

Clitoral Area 80.9 77.6 61.3 73.5 27. I 4 .ooo*
Sexual Inter~oiirsc/Manual
Stimulati~~iii<:li~or
is During
I nt roniissiiin 76.8 74.6 55.7 69.2 30.46 .000*

Sexual Iiitel.ioiirseiVaginal
Penetration Only 6R.3 74.6 59.6 6G.G 9.52 .009*

Sexual Inter~ourselVagiiial
PerirrralioiiiFeinalc A k v e 6R.7 71.6 55.7 61.8 13.28 .oo I *
Sexual Iiitercoiirse/VaginaI
PenetrationiSide Position 49.5 50.7 30.2 43.2 24.48 .ooo*
Oral StiinulationiNipples 35.4 37.3 26.8 32.8 (LO6 .04x*

hlaniial StiinulatioiiiNipples 37.9 32.8 24.3 32.3 I I .60 .003*

Anal Inrerc.i,tirsei(:litoi.al
Stimulation 16.3 11.9 11.1 13.7 3.57 .I69
L'sc of Object O t h e r T h a n
\'ibrator for \"agin;il
I'enetratioii 7.3 7.5 5. I 6.7 1.43 .4!)0

Role of thP Partner in Sexual and Orgasmic Behavior

Over the years, the role of partner interaction in experiencing orgasm

has been looked upon with great interest. Therefore, it is important t o
 Female Sexual Kesponse and th Timing of Partner Orgum 11

review the partner-related techniques used to experience orgasm as de-

lineated in Table 1. T h e differences among the groups were significant
for a large majority of these techniques, except vaginal penetration by
a n object and anal intercourse. For the total group, when examining
various stimulation techniques, the majority of the most frequently used
techniques involved stimulation of the clitoris and vagina simultaneously
(69-84%) or of the clitoris without vaginal involvement ( 7 6 7 8 % ) (see
Table 1). Vaginal stimulation without clitoral involvement was more pop-'
ular (43-75%) than oral and manual stimulation of the nipples ( 3 2 4 3 % )
or anal stimulation (14%). All of these techniques were more likely to be
TABLE 2
Factors Inhibiting Orgasm During Sexual Intercourse
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by Timing of Partner Orgasm

'l'iming of Partner Orgasm
Total'
Factors Before Simultaneous After Group Group?
(n = 322) (n = 135) (n = 252) (n = 709) Difference

% ?T ?& z X' P

I x k of Foreplay 61.2 55.6 72.9 63.8 12.17 .ow*

Fatigue 51.0 51.9 58.6 53.6 3,09 213

Preoccupation WINonsexual
Thoughts 41.0 46.6 46.9 45.5 ..
3i ,769

Ejaculation Too Soon After

Intromi~sion 32.6 36.8 62.4 43.1 47.84 ,000'

Conflicts Between Partners

Unrelated to Intromission 32.2 31.6 39.8 34.6 3.82 ,148
l a c k of InteresdForeplay by
Partner 21.8 15.8 33.2 21.3 15.31 .001*

I x k o f Adequate Vaginal
Lubrication 22.8 24.1 21.6 23.7 25 .882
l a c k of Tenderness bv Partner 19.9 18.8 29.4 22.7 7.92 .019*

Lack of Privacy for Introniission 20.5 22.6 18.5 20.3 .86 ,650

Overindulgence in Alcohol 15.6 15.8 17.5 16.3 36 ,835

Desire to Perform WelVAfter

lntroinission 14.3 9.0 19.4 14.9 7.19 .029*
I)ifficulty/Sexual Arousal
with Partner 9.1 I I .:+ 23.7 14.3 22.93 .000*
Pairiful Sexual Intercourse 8.8 13.5 15.6 12.0 5.94 .05I
N o FactorsIFrequently Inhibit
Orgasm 15.0 11.3 3.8 10.6 16.6 I ,000'
Overeating 10.1 6.8 12.9 10.3 9.30 .I92

'Significant at p < ,05.

'Rank ordered by inial group.
?Degrees ol frecdom = 2.
 12 Journal of Sex b’ Marital Therapy, Vol. 1 7 , No. I , Spring 1991

used by the Simultaneous group and especially by the Before group in

comparison to the After group.
In order to determine what factors might inhibit orgasm during sexual
intercourse, a checklist of factors was provided for the respondents. T h e
responses indicated that those factors that were most frequently reported
to inhibit o.rgasm, regardless of timing of partner orgasm were, in order:
lack of foreplay, fatigue, and preoccupation with nonsexual thoughts (see
Table 2). When examining the factors for which there were significant
differences among the three groups, the majority were partner-related
factors that inhibited orgasm, including lack of foreplay, ejaculation too
soon after intromission, lack of interest in foreplay by partner, lack of
tenderness by sex partner, difficulty in sexual arousal with partner, and
desire t o perform well.
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For these three groups, what is the comparative timing related to the
length in minutes for foreplay, sexual intercourse, and orgasm? Differ-
ences among the three groups for mean time before orgasm for both
partners were identified (see Table 3). T h e data indicated that women
in the After group had partners who experienced orgasm o n an average
of 1.2 minutes before themselves. In comparison, the male partners in
the Simultaneous group experienced orgasm on an average of 2.7 min-
utes after their partners, while the male partners of the Before group
respondents experienced orgasm on an average of 7.3 minutes after their
female partners. Although for women, all three groups preferred a

-1’ABLE3
Time 1,ength by Minutes for Select Behavior Variables
by Timing of Partner Orgasm
‘l’iniingo f Partner Orgasm
Total
l ’ i n i e Length by Minuted Before Simultaneous After Group Group
Behavior Variable (n = 322) (n = 135) (n = 25’2) (11 = 709) Difference

M M M M X? P
Mean Time Before M’oman/Orgasm/
Sexual Intercourse 6.6 li.8 9.6 7.6’ 12.78 .000*

Mean l‘inie Before l’artner/First

Orgasm/Scxiial Intercourse 13.9 9.5 8.4 II.lb 22.21) .000*

Mean LrnRtldSexual Intercourse

Prcferred/Aftei Penetration 11.6 9.9 11.4 11.2‘ 1.57 .?08

Mean Lengrh/Foreplay Prrferred

l’rior/Peiiet ra[ion/Srxual
Intcrrour3e 17.2 15.6 18.8 17.5n 3.28 .OM*
 Female Sexual Response and the Timing of Partner Orgasm 13

greater length of sexual intercourse after vaginal penetration, there were

no significant differences among the three groups regarding this pref-
erence. However, there was a significant difference among the groups
relative to the average length of preferred foreplay with the After group
desiring the longest period of' time, 18.8 minutes. In addition, the After
group (M = 1.6 times) also engaged in sexual intercourse with a lesser
frequency per week than the Before (M = 2.1 times) and Simultaneous
(M = 2.1 times) groups [F (2, 669) = 7.24; p < .OOO].
There are other partner-related issues concerning orgasm and sexual
intercourse. Although our society encourages the idea that individuals
should experience orgasm during sexual intercourse, this does not always
happen for both partners. Consequently, the respondents were asked if
they felt guilty if an orgasm was not experienced while having sexual
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intercourse with a partner. Of the women in the Before group, 56.9%

experienced guilt feelings compared to 5 1.1% of the Simultaneous group
and 69.2% of the After group [x2 (8, n = 698) = 30.54; p < .000].
Similarly, the After group women were also more likely to pretend or-
gasm, with 39.2% sometimes-to-always pretending as compared to 17.1 %
of the Simultaneous and 18.2% of the Before groups [x' (8, n = 698)
= 26.87; p < .001]. Overall, the most frequent reasons given for pre-
tending an orgasm were partner-related, namely, to please one's partner
(22.4%) and to avoid disappointing or hurting him (13.6%). For both
reasons, responses were more frequent for the After group, (Before,
21.6%; Simultaneous, 18.7%; After, 25.6%; and Before, 12.6%; Simul-
taneous, 10.7%; After, 17.1%, respectively).
In regard to partner interaction, the respondents in this study had
been sexually involved with a number of different partners, which ranged
from 1 to 200. In rank order, 30.1 % had 1 partner, 1 1.5%had 2 partners,
9.4% had 3 partners, 7.8% had 5 partners, and 5.4% had 4 partners. T h e
mean number of partners was 6.9 partners for the Before group, 4.4
partners for the Simultaneous group, and 5.3 partners for the After
group, which resulted in a significant difference [F (2, 709) = 4.11;
fi < .016].
There are certain circumstances in a sexual relationship when the fe-
male partner may prefer to masturbate to orgasm rather than engage in
sexual intercourse. These partner-related reasons for preferring to mas-
turbate are indicated in Table 4. When the responses for the total group
were rank ordered, the three reasons with the greatest frequencies were
preferred sex partner not available, no opportunity for sexual inter-
course, and unable to reach orgasm during sexual intercourse. There
was a significant difference among the three groups regarding the lack
of availability of the preferrcd sex partner, with the Before group more
often reporting this reason. In comparison, the After group more fre-
quently reported being unable to experience orgasm during sexual in-
tercourse as a reason for preferring masturbation, along with lack o f
expectation for orgasm during sexual intercourse, partner ignoring stim-
ulation of the clitoris, and partner experiencing premature ejaculation.
 14 Journal of Sex W Marital Therapy, Val. 1 7 , N o . I , Spring I991

TABLE 4
Reasons Women Prefer to Masturbate Instead of
Engaging in Sexual Intercourse by Timing o f Partner Orgasm
'Timing of Partner Orgasm
Total I
Keasons/Wr)nien Preler Hefore Simultaneous Alter Group Croup'
to Mastiirba~e (n = 169) (11 = 52) ( n = 128) (n = 319) Diffcrence

'7r % %, %. X' P

Preferred Sex Partner Not Available 76.3 69.2 58.6 68.8 10.68 .004*

No OpporricnitvlSexuaI Intercourse 61.5 67.3 55.5 60.2 2.42 ,299

Unable to Kearh Orgasrn/Sexual 29.0 30 R 44.5 35.0 8.20 .016*

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I nterc~iirse
Angry with Partner 15 1 I I .5 14.8 14.6 :I8 ,787
Parrricr Igirures Clitoris 11.2 7.7 21.9 14.6 8.94 .01 I *

N o Orgasm Expected/Sexual 11.2 9.6 21.1 14.6 6.89 .U3?*

Intercourrc

Par [lie r k-ccliiig 1II 16.6 13.5 9.4 13.5 3.29 .ID9

Premature Ejaculation 7.7 3.8 22.7 12.6 19.06 .ow*

* S u t i r w ally vgnifirani ai p < .05.

'Rank orrlrr bv ioial group
lrcrdorii - 2
?Ikp;rrr\ <>I

Sexual Satisfaction

Since it is generally agreed among professionals that the level of sexual

satisfaction has both physiological and psychological elements, sexual sat-
isfaction was dichotomized into these two components. Furthermore, sex-
ual satisfaction after orgasm was examined separately for overall sexual
satisfaction. T h e levels of physiological and psychological sexual satisfac-
tion after orgasm were generally relatively similar (see Table 5). However,
for both variables, there were significant differences, with the After g r o u p
reporting less physiological and psychological sexual satisfaction. T h e r e
were also significant differences among the three groups for overall phys-
iological a n d psychological sexual satisfaction. Again, the After g r o u p
perceived less satisfaction as compared to the Simultaneous a n d Before
groups (see Table 5 ) .

Desired Changes in Sexual Lives

Since there a r e differences among the three groups regarding sexual

satisfaction, it was important to examine the changes that they desired
in their sexual lives. A checklist was provided to the respondents to as-
certain what changes, if any, they desired. Since this paper focuses o n
 Female Sexual KeJpoiue and the Timing of Partner Orgasm 15

TABLE 5
Sexual Satisfaction by Timing of Partner Orgasm
Timing of Partner Orgasm

Sexual Belorc Simultaneous After lotal

Satisfaction (n = 322) (n = 135) (n = 252) (n = 7011)
Variable

~~~ ~~

Sex~ralSalts/urlronlA/kr Orgum
Physiological Sexual Satisfaction'
Intense Satisfaction 59.9 50.0 43.4 54.4
A Lot of Satisliction 91.9 36.6 42.0 36. I
Fair Amount of Satisfaction 6.9 4.5 10.2 7.5
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Some Satisfaction 1.3 .o 3.9 I .0

N o Sat isfaction .0 .O 0.5 0.2

Psychological Sexual Satisfactonb

Intense Satisfaction 56.7 56.,1 44.4 52.7
A Lot of Satisfaction 33.8 38.3 42.0 37.3
Fair Amount of Satisfaction 6.9 5.3 9.8 7.5
Some Satisfaction 2.0 .0 3.9 2.2
N o Satisfaction 0.7 .0 .o 0.3

Spximl SatirjnctionlOverall
Physiological Sexual Satisfaction'
Very Satisfied 40.5 40.6 16.0 31.8
Satisfied 46. I 38.3 42.8 43.5
Somewhat Satisfied 9.0 13.5 26.0 15.9
Somewhat Dissatisfied 3. I 4.5 8.8 5.4
Dissatisfied 0.9 I .5 5.2 2.6
Very Dissatisfied 1.3 1.5 1.2 0.9

Psychological Sexual Satisfactiond

Very Satisfied 35. I 38.3 15.2 28.6
Saristied 39.8 36. I 38.0 38.5
Somewhat Satisfied 16.0 14.3 20.0 17.1
Somewhat Dissatisfied 6.6 6.0 16.0 9.8
Dissatisfied I .9 3.8 8.8 4.7
Very Dissatisfied 0.6 I .5 2.0 I .3

*Statistically significant at p < .0.5

'I; (2, 640) = 10.65; p < .OOO.
bF (2. 640) = 5.15; p < ,006.
'F (2. 701) = 36.57; p < ,000.
"F (2. 699) = 28.68: p < ,000.

partner issues, only the partner-related changes in sex life are noted in
Table 6. When examining the rank-ordered responses for the total group,
the three most often desired changes were more foreplay, more frequent
intercourse, and a more romantic approach prior to starting sexual in-
tercourse. More After group respondents reported the desire for more
foreplay and more romantic approach than the Simultaneous and Before
groups. For a vast majority of the desired changes, there were a number
of significant differences among the groups, with the respondents in the
 16 .lournal of Sex E3 Marital Therapy, Vol. 17, No. 1 , Spring I991

TABLE 6
Desired Partner-Related Changes in Sex Life by Timing of Partner
Orgasm
1 irninR of Partner Orgasm
'l'oldl I
Desired Changed Before Siinultaneous After Group Group'
Sex Life (11 = 322) ( n = 135) (n = 252) (n = 709) Difference

% % % O/F X2 P
M o r e Foreplay 35.2 32.1 60.3 13.1 844.55 .non*
More Frcqucnt Intercourse 35.5 36.6 44.5 38.9 5.16 ,076
More Kcmiantic Approatli Prior/
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Sexual Intercourse 27 7 23.9 40. I 31.3 14.18 .on 1 *

More Freqiieni Orgasms 18.4 21.6 39.3 26.4 33.28 ,000'

Ability/Have More Orgasins 20.9 18.7 33.2 24.n 14.71 .on I *

More l'endcrness by Partner 18.7 16.4 36.0 24.4 28.45 .ooo*
More 'l'irne Hefore Fjarulation 11.5 11.2 43.7 22.R 94.90 .onn*
Morr Maiiu.11 Stirnul.itionl
Clitoral Arca 16.8 21.6 30.8 22.6 15.59 .ooo*
% h e Or;ii Stimul~tioiilNipples 21.5 1.4.2 27.9 22.4 9.73 .OOH*
Ability 10 OrpsiniSexual
Intercoui \e 1.4.6 5.7 12.5 22.4 95.56 .ooo*
hlore Oral-Genital Siiniularion 21.5 14.9 23.9 21.1 4.25 . I I9
More Maiitidl SriniiilationiBreasts 20.2 9.0 25. I 19.8 1'1.34 .no I*
More Comniunicatioii by Partner/
After Sexiial Intercourse 18.4 17.9 21.1 19.2 .83 .G(iI
More Phvsical Contact Alter
Sexual I nwrc ourse 17.1 11.9 25.9 19.2 12.59 .002*
More Ci)mrnunication by Partner
During Sextidl Intercourse 17.4 15.7 21.5 18.5 2.38 ,304
More Conimunication by Partner/
Before Sexual Intercourse 13.7 13.4 25.9 17.9 16.4 I .ooo*
More Aggrcssivc Role by Self/
Sexual Intercourse 14.0 8.2 23.1 16. I 16.1I .noo*
Sexual Intercourse/Mutual Love
Betwecn Partners 12.1 11.2 21.9 15.4 12.35 .uo2*
Available Partner 10.9 13.4 18.2 14.0 6.26 ,044'

Different Positions 13.1 6.0 17.0 13.1 9.29 .o 1o*

Abllity of I'artnerlMaintain
Erection G.5 6.7 19.8 11.3 ".I2 .ooo*
Experieric e 1)ifferent TypelOrgasrn 9.3 3.7 15.8 10.5 14.29 .on I *
Petling/h~uriralLove Between Partners 5.0 8.2 18.6 10.4 28.72 ,0022
Utiliiaiion Vibrator/Foreplaylby
Partriel 10.3 4.5 11.3 9.5 5.10 ,078
 Female &ma1 Response and the Timing of Partner Orgasm 17

After group more frequently desiring changes. While some changes in-
volved emotional issues such as a more romantic approach, more ten-
derness, more communication, and sexual intercourse with mutual love
between partners; others focused on physiologicavaction-oriented changes,
some of which included more frequent orgasms, more time before eja-
culation, more manual stimulation of the clitoral area, and more oral
stimulation of nipples. Thus, it appears that those women whose male
partners experience orgasm before they do, are not only experiencing
reduced sexual satisfaction, but also desire a number of changes in their
sexual lives.

DISCUSSION
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From popular articles and past research, it is generally assumed that

orgasm is a n important part of the sexual experience, although there are
studies which have concluded that it is not the most important part, nor
is it altogether necessary for sexual satisfaction. While partner involve-
ment in orgasm has been a noted preference for many women, the con-
nection between female orgasm and the timing of partner orgasm, as a
variable in the range of typical female sexuality, has not been widely
investigated.
After careful review of the data analysis regarding the influence of the
timing of partner orgasm on the female sexual response, several key
elements emerge. First, of the total sample of women who had experi-
enced sexual intercourse, 89.4% of the respondents had also experienced
orgasm. These statistics are in general agreement with other earlier re-
searchers,*.” who reported that approximately 10% of women have been
shown to be preorgasmic. Consequently, even though the sample of col-
lege-educated nurses was purposeful, these respondents were within the
norm of the other reported studies.
Another finding relates to the partner-related techniques used t o ex-
perience orgasm. When noting the top two techniques preferred to reach
orgasm, all three groups seemed to prefer stimulation of both the clitoral
and vaginal areas to experience orgasm. However, the third and fourth
most favored techniques involved clitoral stimulation without vaginal in-
volvement or sexual intercourse. These four techniques were most likely
to be used by the Before and Simultaneous groups than the After group.
These findings support the idea put forth by Kinsey et aLHthat the female
orgasm is neither clitoral nor vaginal but has components of both clitoral
and vaginal elements. Since women are more prone to want bodily con-
tact, the dual involvement of the clitoris and vagina in the t w o most often
reported techniques would make these women in the Before group more
likely to experience sufficient stirnulation and thus attain orgasm prior
to their partners. When clitoral manipulation is considered a part of
foreplay, a woman would be more susceptible to having her orgasm first,
which is also supported by the data on f‘actors inhibiting orgasm during
 I8 Joicnial of' SQXk?Maritnl Thrrapy, Val. 1 7 , N o . 1 , Spring 1991

sexual intercourse. Although all three groups desired more foreplay, this
desired change was especially the case for the women in the After group.
T h e r e may be circumstances, such as unavailability of a partner a n d
n o opportunity for sexual intercourse, when the female partner cannot
reach orgasm with a partner and therefore chooses to utilize masturbation
to experience an orgasm. Although it was more likely that women in the
Before group became involved in masturbation because their partners
were not available, the After group was more likely to use masturbation
d u e to timing factors, lack of clitoral stimulation, and lack of orgasm
during sexual intercourse. While masturbation is a positive a n d normative
sexual behavior, the reasons for masturbation reported more frequently
by the After group indicated their greater frustration related to this
sexual behavior option.
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Due t o societal and interpersonal pressures to be a good lover, many

women believe it is necessary t o pretend orgasm and may feel guilty if
they do not experience orgasm. This study indicates that women in the
After group reported more guilt feelings, as well as being more likely to
pretend orgasm. T h e data also show that the After women more fre-
quently desired changes in their sexual lives. Since increased communi-
cation, more tenderness, and more stimulation of the clitoris are indicated
to be some of these changes, these findings suggest that the After group
women need to become more assertive in their sexual interactions with
men. Since sexual interaction is not one-sided, this circumstance would
also involve both partners being more open to communication about their
sexual feelings and behaviors.
As for physiological a n d psychological sexual satisfaction related to
timing of-orgasm, the After group reported less sexual satisfaction both
physiologically and psychologically. This finding could be expected since
the respondents in the After group also more frequently desired changes
in their sexual lives. T h e After group reported less overall satisfaction
than the Before group for both physiological and psychological sexual
satisfaction. If the women in the After group have to wait to have their
orgasm, desire more changes in their sexual relationships, and also ex-
press more factors which inhibit their orgasm, then their greater dissat-
isfaction with the sexual experience can be understood.
Since premature or rapid ejaculation has been categorized as a sexual
problem or dysfunction, it puts a negative focus o n male performance.
T h e use of this terminology through time has misconstrued this phe-
nomenon as an individual problem rather than an issue related to couple
interaction. In actuality, it may be a timing dimension issue, which is not
related to being a sexual problem or dysfunction. Rapid ejaculation
should not be considered a specific point in time, such as a specific num-
ber of minutes or number of thrusts, but rather as a dimension of the
timing relationship between partners. T h e joining of two complex bio-
logical processes into an interconnected and interdependent process can
involve factors related to timing as well as positioning, movement that
can either enhance or inhibit male and female sexual responses. When
men reach their orgasm prior to their female partners, sexual satisfaction
 Female Sexual Response and the Timing of Partner Orgasm 19

is diminished for the woman. Therefore, this finding indicates the im-
portance of partner communication, which can alleviate the concerns the
couple is experiencing.
From the findings in this study, it is clear that relevant issues exist for
sex therapists and educators regarding questions of sexual adjustment,
the understanding of sexual and orgasmic behaviors, and sexual satis-
faction. Issues that might be assessed by a therapist concern timing of
orgasm, techniques of obtaining orgasm, awareness of and guilt associated
with pretending orgasm, and their impact on the interpersonal dynamics
of the relationship. Factors that inhibit orgasm can also be determined
along with their connected relationship to sexual ati is faction.^^.^^ Com-
munication concerning these issues between the partners is of prime
importance in order to facilitate making the desired changes in the sexual
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lives of the couple. Expectations of each partner can be discussed, along

with various methods that would lead to a more realistic and satisfied sex
life.
While it is important for sex therapists to understand sexual and or-
gasmic behaviors and to be effective communicators about sexuality, care
must also be taken not to overemphasize and overvalue the orgasmic
experience. Such a position would likely create unneeded pressure, frus-
tration, and unrealistic expectations. Instead, it is critical to help individ-
uals become aware of the normality of orgasmic inconsistency, as well as
the many pleasurable aspects of sexual interaction that d o not necessarily
have to include orgasm as an ultimate goal. It is possible that couples do
not realize that summit sexual interaction does not exist all the time.
McCarthy, as reported by P e n n e ~ , ~states
' that sexual intercourse and
lovemaking are not necessarily wonderful every time. Only 40% of the
time are both partners equally involved, while 5-10% of the time, sexual
interaction between partners may be unpleasant, and 10% of the time,
the sexual experience will be mediocre. Thus, if partners begin to look
at the normalcy of a range of sexual pleasuring, they may feel less frus-
trated.
Without orgasm as the only intended outcome, various tasks may be
prescribed by sex therapists and/or sex educators. T h e giving and re-
ceiving of sexual pleasure can be substituted in place of the goal of
orgasm, which thus takes away the need to perform by each partner. I f
having assessed that the communication pattern is somewhat healthy,
sensate focus or nongenital/genital touch/feel techniques can be used by
the couple." These recommendations will help the couple to expand
their sexual repertoire. In addition, the squeeze technique or stop-start
stimulation, which help timing problems of the male orgasm and cja-
culation, may also be of assistance.sJ* And lastly, the coital alignment
technique can be used, which provides direct clitoral contact in coitus,
facilitates female orgasm, and synchronizes the timing of each partner
in the sexual experience.gR
I n conclusion, while it can be argued that there are many factors that
affect the female sexual response that are partner-related, the timing of
partner orgasm should not be overlooked. Consequently, professionals
 20 Journal of Sex U Marital Therapy, Vol. 17, N o . 1, Spring 1 9 9 1

such as marriage and family therapists, as well as sex therapists who deal
with individuals or couples, should be more aware of all the factors that
affect the sexual relationship, especially those that relate to the timing
of orgasm. By exploring all of these facets of the sexual experience in
relation to other aspects of the interpersonal experience, a broader base
of assessment can lead to a better understanding of relational dynamics
and sexual satisfaction.
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