When You Marry Someone, You Marry Into Their

Family - Part 2

 Three types of relationship have been given religious

creed:

1. Blood relations - lineage

2. Milk/nursing relations - foster relation
3. In-laws - contractual

 They’re all mentioned in the Quran.

 The contractual relationship extends beyond your

spouse. When a man marries a woman, he can then
never marry her mom. She as good as becomes his
own mother. Similarly, the husband’s father becomes
a father/permanent mehram to the wife.

 These are permanent lifelong relationships which go

even beyond the husband and wife’s own relationship.

 A man cannot marry two sisters at the same time.

 However, this doesn’t mean that you have substituted

your family with this new adopted one. Your parents
will stay your parents and they will always be your
responsibility. You still have to take care of your
family.

 A couple can make negotiations like a team that the

husband will work full-time and the wife will take care
 of his parents. They can mutually agree to whatever
they want.

 As default, the husband’s parents are not the wife’s

responsibility.

 Quran talks about the role of in laws in a couple’s life.

When the couple is about to split apart/can’t make it
work, then the Quran instructs to send somebody
wise, intelligent, respectful and authoritative from
both sides of the family to come together to make
things better.
 Role of in-laws is to be a support system for survival
of the marriage. They are not meant to jeopardize it.

 When you go through abuse at the hands of your in-

laws, you need to be very honest with yourself and
take a swear oath that you will not repeat this
behavior with your own children. Or twenty years
later, you’ll find yourself becoming that same person.

 “Taking care of your parents” does not mean you

have to share your bathroom with them. A man can
live ten minutes away, visit every day and take care of
all chores for his parents.

 Don’t declare war on in-laws just for the sake of it.