Roles

by Gracie Shinn

Hello Madame Chairman and Fellow Students! Let’s dive right in. 

What do I believe is the role of the Christian woman? There are so many places I could start.

Whether women should talk in the church. Whether we should keep the house. Whether we should be

submissive to our husbands, following them, or try to lead them instead? 

But I don’t want to start with any of that. In fact, there are two places I had to debate a long

time on, before deciding. Adam and Eve, right after she’s eaten the fruit. Or Jesus, at the garden of

Gethsemane. I decided to bring them into one context.

How many of you are Christians, in here?Do you know what that makes you? The bride of

Christ. 

Revelation 19 says- “Hallelujah! For the Lord our God the Almighty reigns. Let us rejoice and

exult and give Him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself

ready” You, the church, are Christ’s submissive bride. But before we could be made His bride, a price

had to be paid. We were unable to pay it, so He took it on Himself, and died. Sweating drops of blood,

because of his emotional pain. But he so looked foward to the future, to that pure and spotless bride,

clothed in white! Knowing her forever. Because of that joy set before Him, He endured the cross. 

Why did Jesus, called the last Adam, have to do this?

Because the first Adam failed. 

I’m sure you know the story. In Genesis, Adam and Eve were in the garden, when a snake spoke

to Eve and convinced her to disobey God. She picked the fruit, which gave knowledge of good and
evil, believing it would make her like God. And Adam? Who was with her? He said nothing. When she

turned to Adam, she held it out to him, smiling, saying, “It’s good! Take it! Eat it! It will make us like

God!” Forgetting that they were already created in the image of God. 

Adam took it and ate. And thus? The curse has passed on to all of mankind. 

But… what if Adam had not been passive? What if he had spoken? What if he had tried to stop

her? What if he had shook his head, and said, “No! We can’t do this!” 

Imagine God appearing,“What has this woman done, under your care?” 

And Adam saying, “She ate the fruit. Oh, God? What will happen now?”

“She must die.” God says.

And Adam, with tears racing down his cheeks, says, “No! Please, God? Isn’t there another way!

Please!” 

And God, with tears in His own eyes says, “You die for her.”

What if the first Adam had done what he was called by God to do?

But he didn’t. We fell deeper and deeper into a pit we could not get out of, no matter how hard

we tried. God knew it was impossible for us to save ourselves, that what we’d done demanded blood. 

So Jesus came, the Word, the Last Adam. He came, and sweated drops of blood, and washed the

feet of Judas, and begged God to forgive the ones who were spitting on Him, and nailing Him to the

cross. 

Ephesians 5 says-  “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the

head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the

church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.”
 That’s… pretty simply put, isn’t it? The husband is the head of the wife in the same way that

Christ is the head of the church… His bride that He bought with his own blood. 

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,” We’re all

women, in this context. We are all the blood-bought bride of Christ, that is called to submit to Him, to

be silent when He’s speaking, and follow His lead. “In the same way husbands should love their wives

as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”

Ladies. You are worth more than rubies, God says! And it has nothing to do with your looks.

Your value and your worth are not contingent on men lusting after you.

Yet so many believe that very thing. We believe that after our beauty is gone, as our hair grays,

as wrinkles start to form, that we start to lose our value. That’s a lie. Outward beauty is fragile! It will

fade. ‘Vanity’ means to be ‘marked by futility’. The Bible tells us to cultivate inner beauty, that won’t

ever rot away… That’s the beauty that God delights in. ‘Man (and woman) look on the outward

appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.’ 

You deserve to be honored and respected and protected. You are not a piece of meat, to satisfy

the sinful, fleshly desires of a man.  

Your price is above rubies! God tells us this, in Prov. 31:10. And unless the man you plan to

marry believes the same, he has no business marrying you. And you have no business encouraging it. 

Jesus, the last Adam, did what the first Adam failed to do. He’s the rescuer. The one who can

make all things new. The speaking husband, the Word of God. 

But what is the man saying, when He speaks? ‘Take me instead’

 A Christian man is supposed to treat his wife like Christ treated himself. He is supposed to love

and defend her. He is to give himself up for her, to take up his cross daily, even if she’s pitiful to him.

He is to be the imitation of Christ. 

But ladies… You are supposed to be the church, to your husbands. You’re supposed to be a joy

set before his eyes, that makes the cross worth it! You are to be the treasure worth everything, to him.

You are called to help him, and submit to him, and love him- by God.

Just for the fun of it, let’s say I’m a wife. Let’s say that I’m an educated woman. I have laid

down all my pursuits, to be able to submit myself to my husband’s vision for our family. I do not

contradict him in front of others- I show him that respect and honour. I communicate to our family, and

others, the vision my husband has established for our family. I have forsaken all other opportunities for

independent fulfillment and independent use of my gifts, in order to put those gifts in subjection to my

husband, and his vision for our family. 

I say these things, and feminism cringes. Doesn’t it?

But what if I tweak it, just a bit? What if it’s no longer me and my husband? But me and a

future President of the United States. And I say the exact same phrases.

Let’s say I’m an educated woman, and am serving the president. I work for his vision above my

own.  I do not contradict the president in front of others- I show him that respect and honour. I

communicate to my family, and others, the vision the president has established. I have forsaken all

other opportunities for independent fufillment for the sake of partnering with the president to fufill his

agenda.
 How come the second time I’m a sort of “hero”? But in the first there’s something wrong with

it? For some reason we believe that working for some man in the White House, has more value than

laying down our lives for a man who would also lay down his for us.

This is why it’s so important to be certain about who you marry. To be certain about a man’s

dreams for his future, and how steady he will be to act on them. To be certain he knows what love is,

knows he’s loved by God, and that he is to love you like Christ loves the church. 

Like deciding whether or not to serve a president, make sure it’s a man you’re willing to support

your whole life, or suffer the consequences that come from doing so. 

Genesis 3 says- “Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.” This is part

of God’s curse on humanity. 

What do you think, this means? For the woman’s ‘desire to be for her husband’? Perhaps, that

she’ll want to serve her husband, and he’ll rule over her? Or, that she’ll be passionately affectionate to

him, and he’ll rule her cruelly, like a tyrant?

No. The word used here for ‘desire’ is only used three other times in the Bible. The second, is

when God is talking to Cain, “Sin’s desire is for you, but you must rule over it.” Sin desired to rule

Cain, but he was called to rule over it. 

This Hebrew word for ‘desire’, ‘tesh-oo-kah’, means ‘a desire to suppress’. A desire to rule

over. 

We, women, were cursed with desire to rule over our husbands. And our husbands were cursed

with women who would always be trying to steal their God-given role of leadership. 
 God is trying to undo the curse in the garden. He is trying to make all things new! We,

Christians, are to be salt in this world. Light in the darkness. Marriage done properly reflects the

Kingdom of Heaven! 

Women are called to submission, in so many places in the Bible- 1 Corinthians, Titus,

Colossians, Ephesians, 1 Peter… 

But what if my husband asks me to do things I don’t understand? What if he asks me to do

things, that will make me look dumb? What if he asks me to do things… I just don’t want to do? What

if Christ asks you to do things you don’t understand? What if He asks you to do things, that will make

you look dumb? What if He asks you to do things… you just don’t want to do?

Ephesians 5:24 says- ‘Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their

husbands in everything.’

In how many things?

We have unhealthy masculinity that women are supposed to submit to. It doesn’t take much of

an imagination to figure out where Feminism comes from. It comes from men whose duty from God is

to defend and protect and speak for women… Who choose to destroy, instead of defend. To blame

women for their own issues, instead of standing and saying it’s their own fault. It’s men who choose to

protect themself… instead of the ones they were created to serve. 

Jesus did it for a church that mocked and abandoned him. 

 The man is supposed to be the priest for his home. The Hebrew word for priest literally means,

‘bridge builder’. The one who stands in the gap, and prays. The woman is supposed to pray for him,

and with him, and support him in this vision. 

Like Caleb mentioned in a speech, long ago. He loves stories with chivalry, and knights…

because men with honour and integrity are so hard to find these days, and he wants to emulate men of

valour who defend, not men who hide behind the valour of others, or see it as something to be

forgotten.

When you have true masculinity, it puts the framework in place to understand the true calling of

being a good bride, who honours her husband, and honours God by doing that.

But what if my husband is not a believer? What if he does things, just out of spite? What if he

doesn’t love me? Am I expected to love him?

And what about if the woman is less than satisfactory, men? Are you released from loving her, if

she doesn’t love you? 

Jesus said in Matthew 5- ‘Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that

hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you. For if you love those who

love you, what’s the big deal about that? Doesn’t everyone do that?’ We are called to something more. 

1 Peter 3 says, ‘Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not

obey the word, they may be won by the conduct of their wives.”

And 1 Corinthians- ‘If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live

with her, she should not divorce him.” Skipping a bit, “But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be
so. In such cases the brother or sister is set free. God has called you to peace. For how do you know,

wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your

wife?’

It’s… laid out pretty well, isn’t it? We are called to love, even when it’s not easy. Just like

Christ. 

But, what if he’s physically harming you? I don’t have time, at the moment, to answer that. But

there will be a five minute Q&A, after the speech where you can ask me anything you’d like. 

A big thing brought up, when talking about a woman’s role, is this verse in 1 Corinthians-  ‘The

women should keep silent in the churches. For they are not permitted to speak, but should be in

submission, as the Law also says. If there is anything they desire to learn, let them ask their husbands at

home. For it is shameful for a woman to speak in church.’

Are you wondering how I’m going to get out of this one? The answer is, I don’t have to. God

said it, Paul even says-  ‘If anyone thinks that he is spiritual he should acknowledge that the things I am

writing to you are a command of the Lord.’

This passage is about order. The verses before what I read to you, and the verses after. 

Do you guys know Corinth was messed up? If there’s something wrong the church can do, they

did it. It’s believed by many scholars that Paul sent them four or more letters, only two of which we

still have today, correcting them for their behaviour. In the first 10+ chapters, of this book, we see how

disorderly and disfunctional Corinth is. 

 Paul is calling them to order. He’s spanking them all soundly, and saying, “HUSH UP &

LISTEN UP.”

A few verses before the ‘silent woman’ verse, says, ‘‘If there is a tongue given, there must be an

interpreter.” In other words, if you’re going to speak in tongues, someone needs to be able to interpret

it. ‘But if there is no one to interpret, let each of them keep silent in church and speak to only himself

and to God.’

Wait… We usually ignore this verse, too, don’t we? Did you know that the verses that cause

most of the ‘womanhood’ debate, are in the same chapter of the Bible?

This chapter is talking about order, and propriety, and how things are supposed to be done. 

Imagine you’re the one who wants to be loudly speaking in tongues… And you’ve just been

told to be silent. “BE SILENT??? HOW DARE YOU ASK ME TO BE SILENT?” Be silent, because

you’re not helping anyone. Be quiet, so others can speak. Be quiet, because you are causing disorder

and not bringing order.

A few verses later, is- ‘The women should keep silent in the churches. For they are not

permitted to speak-’ 

You should know, the word here for silent ‘Sigaó’, doesn’t just mean ‘be quiet’. It means, ‘Be

quiet so others can be heard.’

And the word used for ‘speak’ here, is ‘Laleó’. ‘Lah- ley- oh’. It’s such a fun sounding Greek

word, which means- To Chatter, to Prattle like a child, The incessant chirping of a bird, to order/claim

control in tone. Again. Laleo means to chatter, prattle like a child, to chirp like a bird, or claim control

in your tone. 
 Don’t you just love Greek? It’s so expressive! 

The verse now reads, ‘The women should keep sigaó in the churches. For they are not permitted

to laleó.’

‘The women should keep silent, so others can be heard, in the churches. For they are not

permitted to chatter, prattle like children, incessantly chirp like birds, or shout over people.’ 

Do you blame Paul, for saying this? 

Women were allowed to speak in church! 1 Corinthians 11:5 mentions women praying and

encouraging others in church, without Paul telling them to hush up! (Just a few chapters earlier.)

The whole point of this is to keep order in the church, and edify others besides ourselves. This

still applies to us today. We are to treat everyone in love. Like 1 Cor. 13, says, in the chapter right

before this. Even if we have the answers to all mysteries, or have the gift of speaking in tongues, we are

nothing if we don’t have love! We are just a clanging symbol! Laleo-ing.

We are not to ‘Laleo’- To prattle like children, chirp incessantly, or shout over people. We are to

be meek, preferring others more than ourselves. ‘The meek shall inherit the earth’, Jesus said. Yes, the

idea of meekness makes us feel uncomfortable. It’s like a lamb being led to the slaughter. Paul agrees,

saying, ‘We are all counted as sheep for the slaughter.’ But never forget. You have a good shepherd who

loves you. He will walk you through every trial, weeping when you weep, and rejoicing when you

rejoice. 

Even if things go awfully here on earth… There’s Heaven to look forward to. The home our

Husband is preparing. Our life here on earth is only 70 or maybe 80 years, on average. That’s just a

short time, in comparison to eternity. 

 All our afflictions are seen as light, 2 Corinthians 4 says, when compared to it. That’s still a

hard pill for me to swallow, thinking about so many things… It’s hard. 

Jesus knows it. He went through the exact same thing. 

For you.

What is the position of the woman? Married, single, or mother, the position of the Christian

woman is in Christ. She is in Christ, no matter what she does, and strives to stay within Christ. 

All of us must guard our hearts, and bring ourselves into subjection unto the will and beauty of

Christ, to keep ourselves from bringing the same fruit of death Eve did, instead of the fruit of life, to

those around us. 

If you’re still having deep problems with this, there are two main possibilities, perhaps

entwined. 

1. You’ve been deeply, deeply wounded. Men, who were supposed to be like Christ to you…

Hurt you. They’ve treated you like a slab of meat, only here to satisfy them. I’m sorry. We need to learn

to rest in Christ’s arms, and trust Him as the one who is loving, and kind, and the giver of true lasting

joy, and peace, who is good and patient, gentle and self-controlled… You need to know just how deeply

you are loved by Him, and know what that means, before you start to look for love in anyone else.

2. If you still disagree completely with submitting under a man, who is bound by God himself

to love and defend you… As Christ protects the church… Ask yourself, as a Christian, if you’re truly

willing to submit to Christ’s will, whatever it who. The one who loves you more than any other, and

defended you, by dying in your place.

 We are all the bride of Christ, His church. We are all asked to be sigao before Him. He will

walk with us, wherever we go. He is a faithful husband, to all us ‘women’, and will never leave us

alone.

Thank you.

For all the notes I took, to write this speech, or a copy of this speech… Please ask me after

class! I’d also heartily recommend Eric Ludy’s sermon, ‘The Position of the Woman’, and Dr. Vodie

Bouchom’s ‘Biblical Womanhood’. Though I don’t agree with everything they say, they’re amazing

sermons, that first led me to start thinking deeply about all of this.

Thank you for listening!