Dearest Mother and Father,

I am sorry. I had to go after her. Though it may be against your wishes, I need to know. I will write
when I can, though I fear it may be a while. I am no longer a child, for I am 15 and I can care for
myself, so you needn’t worry. Give my love to John and Jacob.

Farewell,

Your daughter, Lucy Wilberforce x

I signed my name with a flourish before folding the delicate sheet of parchment in half. Tears stained
my face, dripping small pools of salty water onto the coarse thick fabric of my coat. Grasping the
leather handle of my trunk, I knew it was now or never. I descended the stairs in silence, wiping the
corner of my eye on my sleeve. I reached the emptiness of the hall, and every footstep echoed in the
everlasting stillness. I undid the lock. Turned the door handle. A single step onto the street. Wind
rushed around me, sweeping me up in its intensity. A sudden burst of hope rippled through my
chest. I was going to find her.

Mary Kennedy and I had spent many moons together. In my Father’s eyes, she was a simple scullery
maid, a poor servant girl lucky to be in a job. To my mother, she was the ‘little darling’ who cleaned
our bedchambers and served us our meals. To my brothers, she was a magical storyteller who cared
for them and forced them to bathe. But to me, Mary Kennedy was my friend. I had taught her how
read, and she taught me how to tell fortunes. She told me stories of her life before us; stories of
colour, and music, and light. Stories of the Circus. Stories of a grand tent with animals from far off
lands, dancers in glimmering costumes, horses galloping freely with no cart in tow, but with girls in
bright pink spangles standing on their backs. Mary Kennedy told me of her life as a circus girl, and I
so longed to be a part of it. I dreamt of the sights, the smells, the perpetual noise ringing in my ears.
I craved the freedom she once knew. “Come one, come all to the Wonderful Wilberforce Circus!”
We would cry, taming the lions and tigers and wearing my best hats and scarves. Mary Kennedy was
always hesitant to wear my clothes, but after we begged her, she would place a bonnet on her head
and chase us round the ring as we sang and danced until dusk. Mother and Father disliked it when
we played games like these, so we would have to wait until they went out before we could enter this
terrific fantasy that we had created. It was remarkable. Until the night of 29 th July.

Mother and Father were going out to a dinner party and told us that they weren’t to return until
midnight. Mary Kennedy and I looked at each other, and I could see a glimmer of excitement in her
eye. We heard the front door close and raced to the nursery.

“Ready?” She asked. The three of us nodded gleefully. “Ladies and Gentlemen, WELCOME TO THE
WONDERFUL WILBERFORCE CIRCUS!” John and Jacob squealed in excitement as we started to chase
them. They were the lions, ferocious beasts from Africa, and we were the tamers making them do
tricks. Mary Kennedy lit the candles and we danced as she sang:

Come ladies and gents,

Come over and see,

These wonderful magical children and me-

We sing and we dance,

And we tame lions too,

We’re here to put on a show for you!

Verse after verse, we would act out the lyrics, giggling and wreaking havoc until the sun had gone
down. The boys had become tired, and were beginning to fall asleep, so together we carried them
into bed, tucking the bedsheets carefully under their chins.

“You know, I am rather fond of my brothers.” I smoothed back the hair on Jacob’s forehead. It felt
rather warm. I did it once more, feeling an unusual heat as my fingers glided across his skin. “Jacob?”
I gently shook him, but he didn’t respond. Mary Kennedy walked over to us and felt his forehead
herself. She lit the bedside lamp, and we saw that Jacob was as white as a blanket of fresh snow.

“It’s nothing to worry about.” She pulled the sheets off of him, leaving him lying on the mattress in
his undergarments. “Go and fetch a thermometer from the kitchens.”

I trailed off down the stairs, feeling my way through the icy, dark hallways. Raindrops tapped on the
windows, as though knocking to enter. I shuddered, moving quicker. I reached the kitchens soon
enough, and I felt in the dark for the medicine cabinet. I reached in, and quickly found the
thermometer without issue. I shut the door of the cabinet and made my way back up the staircase.

The sight I returned to was one of unfathomable horror. Mary Kennedy was shaking Jacob’s body, a
feverish look in her eye. Violently, the pair hurtled back and forth as her grip became tighter and her
fingernails dug deep into Jacob’s pale skin.
“Careful! You’re hurting him!” I tried to pull her away, but she refused to let go as she began to
chant. It sounded like the Circus song, though the lyrics were incoherent. Thunder rumbled outside
and a white streak of lightening slashed the sky like an achromatic blade. Mary Kennedy kept
shaking him, her eyes rolling back and shouting the lyrics as loud as she could. Suddenly, there was
silence. Jacob sat bolt upright, looking blankly at me, and then back to Mary Kennedy. He was in
some kind of a trance. Mary Kennedy pressed her palm against his forehead and his eyes closed
once more. She pushed him gently back down into the mattress before turning to me. The feverish
look in her eye was gone. “To bed with you. It’s been a long night.” Fear forced me to my bed as she
blew out the light. I held my breath until I heard the faint creak of the door closing. Immediately, I
jumped out of bed and ran over to where Jacob lay asleep. I reached out to feel his forehead- but no
burning sensation followed. I shook his arm slightly, and he mumbled in his sleep before rolling over.
I stumbled back towards my bed, struggling to process the insanity I had witnessed, but before long,
I was asleep, still questioning everything I knew about Mary Kennedy.