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To cite this article: Sarah A. Vannier & Lucia F. O'Sullivan (2010) Sex without Desire: Characteristics of Occasions
of Sexual Compliance in Young Adults' Committed Relationships, The Journal of Sex Research, 47:5, 429-439, DOI:
10.1080/00224490903132051
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JOURNAL OF SEX RESEARCH, 47(5), 429–439, 2010
Copyright # The Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality
ISSN: 0022-4499 print=1559-8519 online
DOI: 10.1080/00224490903132051
Sexual compliance (i.e., willingly engaging in sexual activity that one does not desire) is a
common behavior among young people. Little is known about the characteristics of occasions
of sexual compliance in the context of a committed relationship. This study used both a diary
method and in-depth interviews to assess occasions of sexual compliance, as well as types of
sexual activity, condom use, pleasure, and feelings of pressure and control. Participants
included 63 young adults (18–24 years old) in committed, heterosexual relationships.
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Seventeen percent of all sexual activity was rated as sexually compliant. Occasions of sexual
compliance were rated as less enjoyable and more unexpected. In-depth interviews revealed
four key themes including endorsement of an implicit contract between partners, partner
awareness of low desire, past experience of pressure, and justification for reporting low desire.
Future research should evaluate the long-term impact of sexual compliance on a relationship.
Within the past two decades, a body of research has Sexual Compliance and Committed Relationships
emerged clarifying the distinction between wanting and
consenting to sexual activity (Houts, 2005; Morgan, Although past research has not distinguished between
Johnson, & Sigler, 2006; O’Sullivan, 2005; O’Sullivan & sexual compliance in the context of a relationship and
Allgeier, 1998; Peterson & Muehlenhard, 2007; Shotland sexual compliance in general (Morgan et al., 2006;
& Hunter, 1995). Wanting sexual activity involves an Peterson & Muehlenhard, 2007; Shotland & Hunter,
inner experience of desire or interest in engaging in sexual 1995), we hypothesized that engaging in sexual compli-
activity. Consenting to sexual activity involves an outward ance with an established partner is qualitatively different
communication of willingness or agreement to participate from engaging in sexual compliance in other sexual
in sexual activity. Situations in which the sexual activity contexts. Research suggests that as a sexual relationship
itself is not wanted or desired, yet the individual becomes more established, there are increasingly
freely consents to it, are considered occasions of ‘‘sexual fewer occasions on which both partners experience
compliance’’ (O’Sullivan & Allgeier, 1998). Central to simultaneous, high, synchronized levels of desire at each
the definition of sexual compliance is that consent to sex- opportunity for sexual interaction over time (Huston &
ual activity is not in response to coercion. Additionally, Vangelisti, 1991; Sternberg, 1986). Thus, sexual
the partner to whom consent is given may be unaware compliance may be viewed as the result of an unspoken
of his or her partner’s lack of corresponding desire for agreement or ‘‘social contract’’ (Shotland & Goodstein,
the initiated sexual activity. 1992) between romantic partners about maintaining
sexual contact even when, on occasion, sexual activity
is unwanted by one partner. It seems that sexual compli-
ance is both expected and, at least on occasion, accepta-
ble. Shotland and Goodstein argued that this implicit
agreement between partners may be especially important
We gratefully acknowledge research support from the National in a monogamous committed relationship that requires
Institute of Child Health and Human Development under Grant No. remaining in a state of ‘‘mutual sexual dependence’’ in
R01-HD41721 (to Lucia F. O’Sullivan). We thank the students for
which partners must rely exclusively on each other for
their participation in the project, Patricia Antoniello and the adminis-
tration at Brooklyn College, Giovanna Rodriguez and Megan sexual gratification.
McCrudden for help with recruitment and data collection, and Chris- Although past research has demonstrated that women
topher Blakely for assisting in coding the qualitative data. engage in sexual compliance more frequently than
Correspondence should be addressed to Sarah A. Vannier, Depart- do men (O’Sullivan & Allgeier, 1998), these gender
ment of Psychology, University of New Brunswick, 38 Dineen
Dr., Fredericton, New Brunswick, Canada E3B-5A3. E-mail: sarah.
differences may decrease, or disappear altogether, when
vannier@unb.ca we focus on sexual compliance within committed
VANNIER AND O’SULLIVAN
relationships. As a relationship becomes more established, characteristics of these encounters. Generally, motives
individuals may feel less bound to behaving in ways that for sexual compliance are based on relationship mainte-
are consistent with traditional sexual scripts (Simon & nance factors, such as wanting to make a partner happy;
Gagnon, 1984, 1987) or in line with the truncated gender external factors, such as wanting to impress peers or
roles associated with heterosexual interactions (West & wanting to gain sexual experience; or situational factors,
Zimmerman, 1987). For example, women may feel more such as not having a perceived valid reason to withhold
comfortable initiating sexual activity, which ultimately consent (Impett & Peplau, 2003; Morgan et al., 2006;
provides their male partners with more opportunities to Muehlenhard & Cook, 1988; O’Sullivan & Allgeier,
engage in both desired and sexually compliant interac- 1998). As might be expected, relationship maintenance
tions. Past research has shown that the majority of both motivations for sexually compliant behavior are more
men and women report having engaged in sexual compli- common in established relationships than are external
ance on at least one occasion, and also report believing or situational factors (O’Sullivan & Allegier, 1998). This
that their partner likely complied with unwanted sexual is consistent with our hypothesis that sexual compliance
activity in the past (O’Sullivan & Allgeier, 1998). in a committed relationship is distinct from sexual
The implicit agreement between partners to remain compliance in other contexts.
sexually available to each other (thus necessitating In contrast with the negative psychological and
occasional sexual compliance) may function as a type behavioral outcomes typically associated with non-
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of compromise that serves to benefit a relationship by consensual experiences (Neville & Heppner, 1999),
maintaining harmony. To maintain a relationship, an engaging in compliant sexual activity with a long-term
individual must occasionally make compromises to meet partner may result in positive outcomes such as promot-
his or her partner’s needs. A willingness to sacrifice one’s ing intimacy in the relationship (Impett, Peplau, &
own needs occasionally for those of a partner is Gable, 2005; O’Sullivan & Allgeier, 1998). In addition,
associated with aspects of healthy couple functioning, both engaging in and perceiving your partner as
including intimacy, problem solving, and shared engaging in compliant sexual activity for relationship
activities (Van Lange et al., 1997). Sexual compliance maintenance reasons (e.g., wanting to please a partner)
may represent a means by which compromise occurs are related to satisfaction, closeness, and fun in the
in the sexual domain of a relationship, and we hypo- relationship (Impett et al., 2005).
thesized that within a committed relationship, sexual
compliance may actually be a normative and adaptive
behavior, at least when engaged in sparingly. This study The Current Study
assessed characteristics of occasions of sexual compli-
ance within committed relationships. The goal of this study was to improve our under-
standing of sexual interactions between individuals in
a committed relationship and to advance the literature
Prevalence of Sexual Compliance
on sexual compliance in a number of ways. First, this
study examines in greater detail the characteristics of
The experience of sexual compliance appears to be
occasions of sexual compliance in established relation-
fairly common among sexually active college students,
ships. Few studies to date have provided information
with prevalence rates ranging from 6% to 38%, depend-
on characteristics beyond motivations and outcomes.
ing on the sample and choice of measurement (Morgan
In particular, we still know very little about how sexual
et al., 2006; Peterson & Muehlenhard, 2007; Shotland &
compliance within a relationship influences important
Hunter, 1995). Almost one half of young adults (ages
characteristics such as type of sexual activity, condom
21–30) in committed relationships report engaging in
use, and sexual pleasure. It is also unclear whether enga-
at least one occasion of compliant sexual activity during
ging in sexual compliance influences an individual’s
a two-week period of data collection, and report an
decision to assert his or her needs or interests in other
average lifetime prevalence of 12 occasions of sexual
ways. For example, individuals who report engaging in
compliance (O’Sullivan & Allgeier, 1998). Even within
compliant sexual activity may be less likely to express
the context of a committed relationship, sexual compli-
a desire to use a condom when it has not already been
ance is not restricted to the sexual interactions of young
initiated. As rates of condom use are low among young
adults: The majority of married women (ages 21–74)
adults (Moyo, Levandowski, MacPhail, Rees, &
reported engaging in compliant sexual activity with their
Pettifor, 2008; O’Sullivan, Udell, & Patel, 2006), espe-
husbands on at least one occasion (Basile, 1999).
cially those in a committed relationship (Anderson,
2003; Woolf & Maisto, 2008), understanding how sexual
Motivations and Outcomes compliance promotes or hinders condom use is an
important aim of this study. Additionally, it is unknown
Despite the relatively high prevalence of sexual which sexual activities are most closely associated
compliance, we still know relatively little about the with sexual compliance. Individuals may be sexually
430
CHARACTERISTICS OF SEXUAL COMPLIANCE
compliant only with regard to highly intimate sexual recruited by distributing fliers in classrooms across
activities, such as sexual intercourse. Alternatively, indi- campus (i.e., computer science, anthropology, and social
viduals experiencing low desire may opt to participate in work). Participants were 18 to 24 years of age (M ¼ 20.4)
a less ‘‘involved’’ or intimate activity such as oral sex and were primarily from the U.S. mainland (61%),
instead of intercourse. Thus, we examined the relation- although individuals from the Caribbean (19%), Eurasia
ship between sexual compliance and the types of sexual (16%), and South America (3%) were also represented.
activity participants reported. We also measured per- Participant ethnicities’ were White (41.3%), Black or
ceived feelings of control over the pace of the encounter African American (34.9%), Hispanic or Latino (22.2%),
and expectedness of the sexual encounter to determine if and Asian (1.6%). The majority (90.5%) reported being
either were related to sexual activity, pleasure, and in school full time. All participants were in a committed,
reports of condom use. It is possible that when a sexual heterosexual relationship. The average length of this
encounter is unexpected, or the pace of the sexual relationship was 25.7 months (SD ¼ 23.2; range ¼
encounter is perceived as under a partner’s control, an 1–108). Most participants were never married and not
individual is less likely or less prepared to act in his or cohabiting at the time of the study (82.5%). Over
her own interest, including taking steps to protect his one half of the sample (58.7%) indicated that they had
or her sexual health. not had another serious relationship prior to their
This study also advances past research by assessing current one.
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431
VANNIER AND O’SULLIVAN
In-depth interview. After the three-week period of retained in the analyses in terms of key background
daily tracking, participants completed an individual and sexual variables (age, number of sexual partners,
in-depth interview designed to explore a number of and length of primary relationship).
aspects relating to young adults’ sexual interactions
(e.g., expressions of intimacy, decision making, commu- Diary data. Occasions of sexual activity were
nication, and use of power and influence). Participants’ characterized as occasions of sexual compliance if parti-
descriptions of their experiences during the three-week cipants rated their desire to engage in sexual activity as
period of data collection were the focus of the inter- either negative or neutral on a Likert scale ranging from
views. Questions relevant to experiences of sexual com- 1 (not at all) to 7 (very much) (thus, a four or less). We
pliance were the focus of the analyses here. Participants chose to include participants who reported that their
were asked to describe in detail any experiences of sexual desire was neutral because we felt this was consistent
compliance that they had reported in the structured with the definition of sexual compliance as consenting
daily diaries. Participants were also asked about their to engage in sexual activity, despite having no desire
motivations for engaging in sexual compliance, if they for the sexual behavior. Occasions for which a partici-
believed their partner had been aware of their lack of pant reported feeling overt pressure from a partner to
desire for the sexual activity, and if they believed their engage in the initiated activity were removed from
partner had ever engaged in sexual compliance. further analyses to ensure that occasions classified as
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432
CHARACTERISTICS OF SEXUAL COMPLIANCE
two independent raters who identified major coding frequency of unprotected vaginal intercourse than did
categories as well as sub-themes existing within each men, F(1, 60) ¼ 5.13, p < .05, although there was no dif-
category. A formal coding template was developed ference in their reports of lifetime frequency of protected
based on these themes, and used to formally code the vaginal intercourse, F(1, 60) ¼ 3.15, p > .05. Moreover,
transcripts. Themes that were not consistent with the there were no gender differences in lifetime frequency
original coding template were discussed and agreed on of engaging in protected and unprotected oral sex or
by the two raters (Sandelowski, 1986). anal intercourse.
Interview excerpts regarding sexual compliance were
obtained for only 25 of the 29 participants who reported
Sexual Interactions
at least one occasion of sexual compliance. To reduce
the likelihood that participant interviews included Daily diary records were completed for 1,284 of 1,323
descriptions of occasions of undesired sexual activity person–days (97% response rate). Participants com-
that did not meet our operational definition of sexual pleted an average of 20.38 daily forms (SD ¼ 1.28;
compliance, the interviews of participants whose daily range ¼ 15–21; Mdn ¼ 21.0 days) over the three-week
forms indicated any occasion of sexual activity during period. There were no gender differences in completion
which their partner exerted pressure in any form were rate (Ms ¼ 20.39 and 20.38, men and women, respec-
not included in the qualitative analyses. Twelve inter- tively), F(1, 61) ¼ 0.001, p > .05.
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views were included in the final analysis. Frequencies for each type of sexual activity are
The results were organized so that they summarize reported in Table 2. Over the three-week period of data
data reported from the structured daily diaries to obtain collection, participants reported a total of 378 occasions
a general understanding of the range of participants’ of sexual activity. On average, each participant reported
experiences, then according to the four primary themes six occasions of sexual activity (SD ¼ 2.85; range ¼
that emerged from our qualitative analyses. These 1–14). There were no gender differences in the number
themes were interpreted in terms of support for the con- of days involving sexual activity (Ms ¼ 5.74 and 6.25,
cept of implicit social contracts in sexual interactions at men and women, respectively), F(1, 61) ¼ 0.494, p > .05.
the individual and relationship levels. Illustrative quotes Men reported more occasions of protected vaginal inter-
from the interviews are included to elucidate further the course than did women (Ms ¼ 2.48 and 1.25, respec-
range of perspectives offered for each dimension. tively), F(1, 61) ¼ 4.21, p < .05. Women reported more
occasions of cunnilingus than did men (Ms ¼ 3.46 and
2.10, respectively), F(1, 61) ¼ 5.47, p < .05; as well as
more occasions of unprotected vaginal intercourse than
Results
did men (Ms ¼ 4.06 and 2.13, respectively), F(1, 61) ¼
6.51, p < .05. There were no other gender differences in
Sexual History
reports of sexual activity.
A summary of participants’ sexual histories can be
found in Table 1. Participants reported an average of
Sexually Compliant Interactions: Diary Data
5.6 sexual partners, with male and female participants
reporting similar numbers of sexual partners, F(1, On average, participants reported a high level of
60) ¼ 2.54, p > .05. Women reported a higher lifetime desire to engage in sexual activity (M ¼ 5.87, SD ¼ 0.94;
No. of sexual partners 63 5.60 (5.0) 1–20 31 6.60 (5.5) 32 4.61 (4.3)
Fellatio
Unprotected 42 11.20 (19.1) 0–97 19 8.60 (13.5) 25 13.60 (23.0)
Protected 50 12.40 (18.6) 0–97 25 9.90 (13.1) 23 14.80 (22.7)
Vaginal intercourse
Unprotected 38 11.70 (20.3) 0–110 20 5.50 (7.5) 22 17.30 (26.0)
Protected 63 19.30 (19.7) 1–110 31 14.90 (12.2) 32 23.60 (24.4)
Anal intercourse
Unprotected 5 0.38 (1.6) 0–10 1 0.17 (0.9) 4 0.56 (1.97)
Protected 6 0.36 (1.5) 0–10 2 0.37 (1.8) 4 0.34 (1.0)
433
VANNIER AND O’SULLIVAN
Table 2. Frequency of Sexual Activity (SA) During the Three-Week Period of Diary Data Collection
No. of days completed 63 20.38 (1.3) 15–21 31 20.39 (1.4) 32 20.38 (1.2)
No. of days with SA 63 6.00 (2.9) 1–14 31 5.74 (3.0) 32 6.25 (2.8)
Frequency of SA
Genital touch 60 5.13 (3.0) 0–12 30 4.65 (2.8) 30 5.59 (3.2)
Cunnilingus 53 2.79 (2.4) 0–11 23 2.10 (1.8) 30 3.47 (2.7)
Fellatio 53 3.29 (2.7) 0–10 26 2.77 (2.6) 27 3.78 (2.7)
Vaginal intercourse
Unprotected 43 3.11 (3.1) 0–12 18 2.13 (2.8) 25 4.06 (3.2)
Protected 35 1.86 (2.5) 0–13 22 2.48 (2.8) 13 1.25 (1.9)
Anal intercourse
Unprotected 7 0.19 (0.8) 0–6 3 0.10 (0.3) 4 0.28 (1.1)
Protected 2 0.08 (0.5) 0–4 1 0.13 (0.7) 1 0.03 (0.2)
p < .05.
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range ¼ 1.7–7). There were no gender differences compliance. These themes were (a) participants endorse
in reports of level of desire for sexual activity (Ms ¼ implicit contracts, (b) participants provide a range of
5.79 and 5.94, men and women, respectively), F(1, reasons to explain their low desire, (c) participants
61) ¼ 0.401, p > .05. believe that their partners are aware of their low desire,
Forty-six percent (29 out of 63) of participants and (d) participants describe past situations in which
reported at least one occasion of sexual compliance. their partner exerted subtle pressure.
Of all occasions of sexual activity, 17.2% were occasions
of sexual compliance. Characteristics of occasions of
sexual compliance and occasions of desired sexual Endorsing Implicit Contracts
activity are reported in Table 3. Although there was
The majority of participants (75%) described
no gender difference in the frequency of engaging in
motivations for engaging in sexual compliance that
sexual compliance, occasions of compliant sexual
appeared consistent with our hypothesis that sexual
activity were more likely to be initiated by the male
compliance in a committed relationship is the result of
partner, v2(1) ¼ 3.91, p < .05, than were occasions of
an unspoken agreement about maintaining sexual con-
desired sexual activity. This means that some men
tact even when, on occasion, sexual activity is unwanted
reported initiating sexual activity even when they them-
by one partner. Several participants also acknowledged
selves did not desire the sexual activity. Occasions of
that it is unreasonable to assume that both partners in
sexual compliance were rated as less enjoyable than were
a romantic relationship consistently experience the same
occasions of desired sexual activity (Ms ¼ 4.97 and 6.29,
level of desire for sexual activity. For example, one man
respectively), F(1, 61) ¼ 12.57, p < .01; and were more
said, ‘‘If she wants to, you gotta make her happy ‘cause
likely to be unexpected, v2(1) ¼ 6.19, p < .05. Not sur-
there’s gonna’ be days she’s, she won’t wanna have
prisingly, in comparison to occasions of desired sexual
intercourse, she’ll do it for you so you know, it’s like a
activity, occasions of sexual compliance were more
sacrifice. So it’s like, there’s some days like that.’’ A
likely to be initiated by the sexual partner than by the
woman explained this reciprocal agreement in the
participant, v2(1) ¼ 8.10, p < .01. Participants also
following way:
reported than their partner had control over the pace
of the sexual interaction more frequently during
It’s because there are times that I like really, really, really
occasions of sexual compliance, v2(1) ¼ 5.44, p < .05. wanna do it but he might not. But he’ll still go ahead
There were no differences between occasions of sexual with it? It’s kinda like—to me, you know, it’s like—
compliance and occasions of desired sexual activity in ‘‘Hey you know, if he does it to me, why can’t I do it
the proportions involving condom use, types of sexual to him?’’ I care a lot about him and I do love him, so
activity involved (i.e., genital touching, oral sex, and why can’t I please him the way he pleases me?
vaginal intercourse), or perceptions of a partner’s level
of desire (all ps > .05). Several participants (33%) reported engaging in
sexual compliance from a concern for their partners’
feelings or else feeling guilty themselves for not desiring
Qualitative Analyses
the sexual activity. One male participant explained that
Four themes emerged in the analysis of the in-depth he sometimes engaged in sexual compliance to protect
interviews that help to characterize occasions of sexual his partner’s feelings: ‘‘I just run along with it, you
434
CHARACTERISTICS OF SEXUAL COMPLIANCE
Table 3. Characteristics of the First Occasion of Compliant and Desired Sexual Activity
Variable n ¼ 29 % n ¼ 34 % n ¼ 63 %
Gender of participant
Male 12 41 19 56 31 49
Female 17 59 15 44 32 51
Initiator
Me 8 28 18 53 26 41
Partner 18 62 9 26 27 43
Both 3 10 7 21 10 16
Gender of initiator
Male 20 69 15 44 35 56
Female 6 21 12 35 18 29
Sexual activity
Genital touching 23 79 31 91 54 86
Cunnilingus 11 38 13 38 24 38
Fellatio 15 52 17 50 32 51
Vaginal intercourse
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Unprotected 9 31 17 50 26 41
Protected 7 24 16 47 23 37
Protected onlya 7 24 9 26 16 25
Anal intercourseb
Unprotected 0 0 1 3 1 2
Expectedness
Expected 8 28 20 59 28 44
Unexpected 21 72 14 41 35 56
Controlled pace
Me 9 31 16 47 25 40
Partner 15 52 11 32 26 41
Both 5 17 7 21 12 19
Initiated condom usec
Me 3 43 7 44 10 43
Partner 0 0 5 31 5 22
Both 4 57 4 25 8 35
Note. All variables with a cell size less than five were analyzed using a Fisher’s exact test. All other variables were analyzed using chi-squares.
a
Some participants reported engaging in both protected and unprotected intercourse during the same occasion of sexual activity.
b
There were no reported occasions of protected anal intercourse.
c
Percentages were calculated based on the number of participants who reported condom use.
p < .05. p < .01.
know—to make her happy—so . . . so she wouldn’t be that—like you know, he does so much for me, you
like . . . all like upset or something.’’ One female partici- know?’’ A second participant said, ‘‘Oral sex—I hate
pant described feeling guilty when she did not desire that—I don’t know, I feel like I need to throw up.
sexual activity: But . . . I’ll do it for him because . . . he . . . he has no
problem doing it for me.’’
There are some times when I’m just not in the mood.
Really, I’m not in the mood. And I know how much
he would want it, ’cause it’s been so long for him—or Reasons for Reporting Low Desire
for both of us, but—sometimes guys take it . . . like it’s Although not explicitly asked to explain why they
the end of the world. I would honestly feel bad and I reported a low desire for sexual activity, when partici-
would [engage in sexual activity] because of it.
pants were asked to discuss situations of sexual compli-
ance, all but one participant gave reasons for their lack
When asked to describe situations in which they of desire for sexual activity. Reasons for lack of desire
engaged in sexual activity for reasons other than their were primarily feeling tired (58%), stressed (42%), or
own desire, a few participants (18%) described situations angry (17%). The majority of participants were full-time
in which they performed oral sex on their partner. One students, and many described feeling stressed about
participant stated, ‘‘I really don’t feel like giving him a schoolwork or feeling tired as a result of working while
blow job every time. But I do it because . . . it makes attending school. One female participant explained that,
him happy. And sometimes I feel like I should do ‘‘These past coupla’ weeks, it’s been rehearsal . . . late
435
VANNIER AND O’SULLIVAN
night rehearsals. And then there’s papers due, and I had on past occasions of sexual activity. This pressure often
midterms. And so it was stressful.’’ Another female took the form of whining, begging, or trying to make
participant described noting in her diary forms feeling their partner feel guilty. One female participant
tired after a long day: ‘‘I didn’t really feel like it. I don’t described a situation in which her partner made her feel
know . . . I was tired. I worked that day, you know? I guilty for not desiring sexual activity: ‘‘He’s like, ‘I don’t
think I had a test or an exam . . . something like that. get you’. . . . And like if I still say, ‘No,’ he’ll . . . he’ll be
And I don’t know, I was just not in the mood.’’ sad, like, ‘I don’t get you horny anymore’, you know?
Over one half of the participants (58%) described And I feel so bad, he’s so cute.’’ Another female partici-
situations in which they initially did not desire sexual pant described how her partner tried to convince her to
activity but, as the interaction continued, became engage in sexual activity: ‘‘Sometimes he’s like, ‘C’mon’!
sexually aroused by their partner. One female partici- You know, he begs me, you know? Not really like pres-
pant explained: ‘‘I usually ended up, I usually like didn’t suring or hitting or yelling at me. It’s not like that. It’s
want to when we started, but I ended up of course, like a begging type of thing—like, ‘Please, I really want
wanting to.’’ it’, you know? That type of thing.’’
Partner Awareness
Discussion
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436
CHARACTERISTICS OF SEXUAL COMPLIANCE
a greater division along gender-based lines. Gender roles overtly using pressure. Future work should examine the
are most apparent in heterosexual relationships relationship between past experiences of pressure to
(Gagnon & Parker, 1995). Researchers have long engage in sexual activity and occasions of sexual compli-
emphasized the importance of power dynamics between ance. It is possible that sexual compliance in relation-
women and men in their intimate relationships, includ- ships with a history of pressured sexual activity may
ing men’s dominance and women’s subordination be qualitatively different from sexual compliance in
through socially constructed gender roles (Amaro, relationships that do not have this history.
1995; Wingood & DiClemente, 1998a, 1998b). It is Occasions of sexual compliance differed from desired
interesting to note that, although there was no gender sexual interactions in several important ways. They were
difference in the frequency of engaging in sexual compli- rated as less enjoyable, which may have implications for
ance, occasions of sexual compliance were more likely relationship quality. As higher levels of sexual satisfac-
to be initiated by male partners—that is, some men tion are associated with higher levels of relationship
initiated sexual activity that they themselves did not satisfaction (Birnbaum, 2007), repeatedly engaging in
desire. These men may have assumed the traditional role sexual activity that is not desired, and possibly not plea-
of the initiator of sexual activity (Simon & Gagnon, surable, may have a detrimental effect on a relationship
1984, 1987)—to demonstrate greater sexual interest, to or an individual’s overall level of sexual desire or arou-
pursue women as sexual objects of desire, or to prove sal. Frequency of engaging in sexual compliance may be
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their virility by making sexual demands. Heterosexual an important factor to consider in future work on sexual
interactions afford couples opportunities to create and dysfunction.
reinforce gender differences often touted as representing Occasions of sexual compliance were also more likely
our ‘‘essential’’ natures (West & Zimmerman, 1987). to be unexpected than were occasions of desired sexual
Future research could provide valuable insight into activity. The unexpectedness of an encounter, as well
perceptions of gender roles and sexual scripts as they as a lack of preparedness to engage in sexual activity,
relate to sexual compliance. helps to explain why an individual may experience low
As indicated earlier, men and women did not differ in desire to engage in sexual activity. Anticipation has been
their frequency of reports of sexual compliance. This is identified as an important component of sexual desire
inconsistent with past research, which has found that (McCarthy, 1995), and it is possible that when sexual
women engage in sexual compliance more frequently activity is not anticipated, it may take longer for an indi-
than do men (Impett & Peplau, 2003; Muehlenhard & vidual to become aroused and interested in the activity.
Cook, 1988). We may have found similar rates because This finding is consistent with results indicating that the
this sample had the longest relationship duration yet majority of participants reported enjoying the sexual
studied, to our knowledge. Thus, male and female activity despite not wanting to engage in it at first.
partners may institute a standard of sexual compliance Alternatively, individuals with lower levels of sexual
the longer the time that they have shared together if they desire tend to think about sex less often than do indivi-
become desynchronized in terms of levels of sexual duals with higher levels of sexual desire (Baumeister,
desire, develop more competing interests regarding Catanese, & Vohs, 2001). If so, individuals who desire
how to spend their time together, or become generally sexual activity less frequently might not be thinking
less bound by traditional sexual scripts (Simon & about sex as frequently; thus, occasions of sexual activ-
Gagnon, 1984, 1987). Alternately, the young adults in ity are more likely to be unexpected.
our study may present patterns of sexual behavior that Occasions of sexual compliance also shared some
are different from those of adolescents and older adults, similar characteristics to desired sexual interactions.
as well as young adults from different generations There were no differences between occasions of sexual
(Centers for Disease Control [CDC], 1997; Forrest & compliance and occasions of desired sexual activity in
Singh, 1990; Sonenstein, Pleck, & Ku, 1989). For exam- the type of sexual behavior participants reported. There
ple, 34% of participants in this study reported using a was also no difference in reports of condom use between
condom during their last experience of intercourse, as occasions of sexual compliance and occasions of desired
compared to 19% of college students over the age of sexual activity. As a relationship becomes more estab-
25 (CDC, 1997). lished, rates of condom use typically drop (Moyo et al.,
A significant portion of the sample described in their 2008). Individuals in committed relationships, such as
interviews at least one previous occasion in which their those included in our study, may have established
partner used guilt or pressure to persuade them to patterns of sexual behavior and condom use (de Visser
engage in sexual activity. Past attempts to refuse sexual & Smith, 2001) that are not influenced by fluctuating
activity may have been met with a negative response levels of desire. Future work should examine character-
from their partners. Thus, a desire to maintain harmony istics of occasions of sexual compliance in other contexts,
in the relationship, and to avoid a partner’s negative such as ‘‘hooking-up’’ (i.e., one-time sexual encounters
reaction, may motivate some to engage in undesired with a stranger or acquaintance; Paul, McManus, &
sexual activity, even when their partner is not currently Hayes, 2000) or dating situations.
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