Fabiola

Essay

Recent urban planning research points out that the most efficient housing projects are those
which provides a healthy lifestyle to its inhabitants. This means that neighborhoods´
environment and facilities lead people to reach a mental and physical balance. In this
regard, this paper discusses which are the most important facilities in which local
authorities should invest.
On one hand, building sports centers would be desirable to promote exercise among
local population. It is well-known that sports improve individuals’ physical performance as
well as help them to release stress. In this sense, investing in sports centers would not only
prevent problems such as obesity, but also would lead people to be happier. Therefore, if
inhabitants are content, we will have a better community.
On the other hand, giving money to increase green spaces is undoubtedly necessary.
It is scientifically proven that humans need to keep in touch with nature to regulate physical
and mental systems. When it comes to urban planning gardens are the city lungs which
clean the environment. Furthermore, in case there is not enough money to build sport
centers people can use parks to exercise.
In sum, local authorities should consider giving money to fund sports centers and
green spaces as a priority. These facilities are essential because they improve the
environment and the community welfare.

CONTENT 4 Ideas in the essay are clear and related to the

benefits of having these facilities in a city. It is
clear that ideas in every paragraph were planned
to make the text a coherent whole. You did not
conclude saying which of the facilities should be
prioritized when investing. Remember this is
always asked for in this part of the exam.
COMMUNICATIV 3 The organization of the essay is effective as there
E ACHIEVEMENT are clearly identified paragraphs for an
introduction, a conclusion and the body of the
essay. Paragraphs make use of topic sentences
and supporting points but you missed the
 opportunity to contrast both facilities to, at the
end, make a decision as to which of those is
better to spend money on. Not only is this
important because it is past of the instructions but
also because the reader would expect to find this
conclusion in the text. A good range of linking
words was used consistently to connect and
introduce paragraphs and sentences (e.g.,
furthermore, on the other hand, in sum)
ORGANISATION 4 A good range of linking words was used
consistently to connect and introduce paragraphs
and sentences (e.g., furthermore, on the other
hand, in sum). Paragraphing is very logical and
focused. This made your point clear. Based on
the content of the essay, it may seem logical to
conclude they way you did but do not forget to
follow the instructions as they are given.
LANGUAGE 4 Language was accurate and you made use of
some interesting collocation such as scientifically
proven, which adds elaboration to the essay.
Including some other advanced structures like the
inversion I highlighted would definitely take
your writing to the next level.
Report

Introduction
Last semester I have performed as an Art and Culture teacher at TecMilenio High School. I
was responsible for a 25-students group. This report presents some achievements reached
during the course, the main hardships I cope with, and some suggestions about suitable
training.

Achievements
During my teaching experience I tested a wide range of materials to catch students’
attention. I tried audios, videos, videogames as well as board games. This variety of
materials paid off as students got involved in the class and were able to produce their own
videos to explain some works of art.

Hardships
As the group had some irregular students, I struggled a lot to lead them to catch up with the
rest of the group. On the other hand, the class had a hybrid format, and it was extremely
difficult to manage face to face and online activities simultaneously.

Suggestions
For further courses it would be desirable to receive some training to learn how to manage
irregular students. I would also welcome some tutorials on planning hybrid lessons.

CONTENT 3 All the ideas in the report are connected to the

instructions provided by the task, which make
them suitable for the report. However, the length
of it prevented you from elaborating on them and
providing more examples or supporting points.
For example, providing explanation as to what
exactly was hard in helping irregular students or
mentioning the specific focus of the training
would make the report more informative.
COMMUNICATIV 3 The report follows the conventions of the genre to
E ACHIEVEMENT positive effect, there are heading and sub-headings. The
 level of formality is also adequate. However, the use of
passive voice or hedging could improve the impersonal
style of it. Overall, the reader is informed about the
issue but may be missing details to dully understand the
situation. Try to plan your text during the first minutes
of the exam to have a clearer idea of what exactly you
want and can say right from the beginning.
ORGANISATION 4 The text is well organized into sections that are
easy to identify by means of the sub-headings.
This time, for example, the linking device On the
other hand was not used fully effectively (see
hardships). It is used to make contrast between ideas
but you were adding another challenge you have faced.
Punctuation (e.g., commas and full stops) are used well,
which make it one of the strengths in your
performance.
LANGUAGE 3 The report is written very accurately but makes
use of simple structures mostly. Try to dazzle
more (at the beginning in the planning stage you
could plan both ideas and some topic-related
lexis and structures to include). In order to
continue practicing and preparing for C1
advanced, I recommend using this website:
https://writeandimprove.com/