Do Not Disturb (is a necessary survival tactic)

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/40244337.

Rating: Mature
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings
Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: ENHYPEN (Band)
Relationship: Park Jongseong | Jay/Yang Jungwon, Lee Heeseung/Yang Jungwon
Character: Yang Jungwon, Park Jongseong | Jay, Kim Sunoo (ENHYPEN),
Nishimura Riki | Ni-ki, Sim Jaeyun | Jake, Lee Heeseung
Additional Tags: Yang Jungwon-centric (ENHYPEN), Minor Park Jongseong | Jay/Yang
Jungwon, Mentioned Lee Heeseung (ENHYPEN), Jungwon is
Depressed, Also Highly Aware that Online Relationships Suck Ass, I
wish I was like Jungwon here tbh, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, I
am actually a lot like this Jungwon, I just pretend I'm okay, Ni-Ki and
Sunoo are mentioned here, Best Friends For Life, Why are they such
good candidates for the Yang Jungwon BFF dynamic, Also small
mentions of Jake, This is extremely short but I have no more ideas
Language: English
Stats: Published: 2022-07-12 Words: 1,017 Chapters: 1/1

Do Not Disturb (is a necessary survival tactic)

by jaysenden (orphan_account)

Summary

Jungwon couldn't go a day without DND. Sure, he’s selfish and attention-oriented and
wants everyone to like him all of the time, but he hates having to talk to people. He hates
having to see that he has friends.

Notes

this is probably asshole material but at this point i would just like to have something to
share! most likely won't ever finish to its full potential.. enjoy tho

Jungwon couldn't go a day without DND. Sure, he’s selfish and attention-oriented and wants
everyone to like him all of the time, but he hates having to talk to people. He hates having to see
that he has friends.

It’s natural for relationships to fade, Jungwon knows this well, and he knows even more that online
friendships are a waste of time and energy. People that you friend through a screen might as well
not exist. They’re stuck between real life and what Jungwon likes to call “the Shadow Realm”,
which in reality is what any of his real life friends (either, to be honest. He has two in total) would
associate with social media. Social media is an awful place. It is inviting and sweet, promising
blossoms of lifelong friendships on a tree made out of cardboard. Jungwon has fallen for the fake
bark one too many times. He has seen the growth and decay of the blossoms; he has felt the thorns
that shoot up after all of the flowers are gone. Jungwon has played this game before so many times
that Riki and Sunoo wonder why he even still has a phone. “You don't even use it, Hyung,”
deadpans Riki every time Jungwon tries to sob out excuses. He’s stopped looking to Sunoo for
assistance because every time his neck twists in his older friend’s direction his head is already
swaying up and down in agreement with Riki. He hates his friends.

He hates his friends, but at least they're real. Jungwon finds soon after his 18th birthday that he
loves tangible things, things that he can feel and press into. Things that have to walk away from
him in order to leave.

Online, tangible things don’t exist. He can touch his screen, he can feel the vibrations of an
Instagram notification, a text from @Jjongseongmail. Jungwon can press his fingers onto the flat
surface, can type in a cute response, can swipe his index finger left and right to find the perfect
emoji to link with his text.

He can do all of those things, but he cannot touch Jongseong’s arm as he talks back to him, as if
they were having a conversation in real life. He cannot smooth over his wool jacket, cannot fidget
with the bracelet he knows sits snugly on the older’s left wrist. Jungwon cannot hug Jongseong. He
cannot keep him from leaving.

Months after the day he sends the cute response with the perfect emoji, Jungwon realizes that
Jongseong is drifting. It doesn't happen abruptly, of course, it never happens abruptly (not counting
Jake), but Jungwon is good enough at reading the often-attempted step back to know that
Jongseong is about to try it. Jungwon knew this would happen eventually, he knew it, because he
always knows it. Intangible things were never meant to last an eternity. They are sweet and
inviting, and the pretty pink blooming of flowers are distracting enough for Jungwon to relax into
the cardboard bark, but the thorns are inevitable. The thorns are abrupt, ripping through the
molding seams of thick wood and constricting the breathing of the person lying within reach. Many
people fall victim. Jungwon has fallen too many times to be one right now, and yet here he sits
under the shade of the tree, lifeless and struck with an uncountable amount of pins to the heart. His
thoughts scramble inside of his brain like eggs on Sunday morning after church. (Jungwon has
never been to church, but he imagines that’s what Christian people eat afterwards. It wouldn't
matter, anyway, since he can’t be bothered to experience it. Jungwon is too busy making a new
friend).

Jungwon’s new friend is named Heeseung. He would be arguably as tall as Riki in real life, if he
were to exist in real life, and he likes all of the movies Jungwon does. It's either a heartfelt attempt
at comfort or courting, but nonetheless, his New Friend Heeseung (Hyung) is sweet and inviting.

Heeseung-hyung is not as talkative as Jongseong was online, but he makes up for it in part by
facetime calls. This is a new form of internet connection for Jungwon, and it proves to be nicer
than what he’s used to. Instead of imagining Heeseung’s face and slim body towering over him, he
can look into his eyes and hold his phone as high as he thinks he needs to. (Jungwon attempted
getting Riki to strap a GoPro to his forehead and connect the camera through, but before he could
finish the latter had already run off in search of Sunoo).

Jungwon cannot wrap his arms around Heeseung's nape physically, and he cannot let Heeseung
grab his waist, but Heeseung teaches him how to sext on KakaoTalk, and through there they make
do for a couple more months. Orgasms on phone screens and pillows are less satisfactory than on-
face and in-ass would be, but Heeseung-hyung says that he doesn't mind since his Jungwonie is so
pretty all for him. Jungwon never had this type of relationship with Jongseong. It is different and
new, and the blossoms on the tree last a lot longer than they ever have before. But like Jungwon
knows from experience, thorns are waiting anxiously below the blossom’s surface to prickle virgin
skin.

Heeseung and Jungwon break up after two years. Jungwon is upset, yes, but aware. Relationships
are poor reflections of a person's mentality. Heeseung was pretty and level-headed and Chai, but
Jungwon has always been flaky and hot, a poorly designed half-assed excuse of a human. When
Heeseung pulls away, Jungwon lets him. Lets their call-time run down to two minutes. Twice
every two weeks. Heeseung is busy. "I'm so sorry, Wonie. I've been tired this week. Work and
stuff." Jungwon knows Heeseung's schedule, and he's only had two clients this week. One on
Monday at 8AM, the other on Thursday at 2 in the afternoon. But he lets his Heeseung-hyung have
the long end of the stick. He doesn't care much, anymore.

Plus, Jungwon knows he will find someone else. He always does.

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