‘varz2, 11:19 AM, "New Study Reveals Her Top 9 Desires During Sex | by Nadége | Pleasure Science | Dec, 2021 | Medium This is your last free member-only story this month. Sign up for Medium and get an extra one New Study Reveals Her Top 9 Desires During Sex 9 things she wishes he was doing in bed. é Nadege ba) 00031, 2021-8 min read & Photo by Jacob Wackerhausen. Image licensed by Canva, ntps:medlum.comipleasure-scionceinew-study-reveals-her-1op-9-desires-curing-sex-B8cSdaf4779 19‘yaiz2, 11:19 AM "New Study Reveals Her Top 9 Desires During Sex | by Nadége | Pleasure Science | Dec, 2021 | Medium Ever seen a sexy duo walk past you and wonder...are they having better sex than me? The experts at Rosy, a sexual wellness app, had similar thoughts and decided to ask straight couples a question. Is the sex you are having satisfying and if it isn’t, how could it improve? The results were fascinating. For starters, 82% of men on the app reported that they believed that their partner was sexually satisfied. Meanwhile, only 73% of their female lovers reported that they actually were. This is a positive statistic compared to previous research on heterosexual relationships, which discovered a staggering orgasm gap between straight men and women. According to a 2016 study of over 52,000 heterosexuals, women. only achieve orgasm 65% of the time compared to men who climax 95% of the time. Even though the numbers appear to be better this year, there is still room for improvement. Here are the 9 things women want from their man in the bedroom, ranked from 9 (least important) to 1 — the most important! 9. Adding Sex Toys Tl be honest, I was surprised to discover that sex toys were the lowest desire on the list — though it still made the list and that is significant! Sex toys, especially vibrators, can be a game-changer during sex for anyone with a vagina. Most women (and men) don’t know that the average clitoris is 4 inches long and gets an erection just like a penis. Instead, we are taught that the clitoris is the button of flesh near the urethra. This pleasure point is just one part of the clitoris, but it does have over 8,000 nerve endings. hitpssimedium.comipleasure-scionce/new-study-reveals-her-top-8-desires-during-sex-B8cSdat4779 29sag, 1.19 aM New Stuty Reveals Her Top 9 Desires During Sox |by Nadége | Plasure Science | Dec, 2021 | Medium One reason why a vibrator can be so satisfying during sex is that the vibrations activate the entire clitoris, not just the tip. Allowing people with a vagina to experience a full-bodied orgasm and help women achieve orgasm more quickly. 8. Communication Dr. Emily Morse is famous for saying that communication is lubrication, and she is correct! When we do not discuss the sex we are having, we have no control over the standards being set in the bedroom. A great question to consider asking your girl is this: what are your expectations for sex. Do you expect intimacy? Orgasms? Cuddling? Foreplay? Having a simple discussion about expectations can clarify everyone’s desires and help couples connect. If you are nervous to get the conversation started, experts recommend going for ahike or long walk while you discuss the conversation. This allows you both to talk about sex in a non-erotic environment, which is important, and you will not be required to maintain eye contact which can actually relieve the pressure of sex talks. It is not recommended to give sexual feedback during sex, but it can be helpful to check in by asking: how does that feel? do you need a break? or, would you like me to go harder, faster, slower, (etc.)? 7. Kissing Women want to be kissed more. Kissing is a powerful, intimate sex act that we can easily take for granted — especially in long-term relationships. hitpssimedium.comipleasure-scionce/new-study-reveals-her-top-8-desires-during-sex-B8cSdat4779 3911a, 1.19 aM New Stuty Reveals Her Top 9 Desires During Sox |by Nadége | Plasure Science | Dec, 2021 | Medium Kissing causes a chemical reaction in your brain, including a burst of the hormone oxytocin. It’s often referred to as the “love hormone,” because it stirs up feelings of affection and attachment. — Healthline: Health Benefits of Kissing, reviewed by Janet Brito, Ph.D.,. LCSW, CST Don’t underestimate the power of kissing her cheek, her forehead, her hands, the back of her neck, or her lips. Whether it is during foreplay, sex, or while you both are hanging out in the kitchen, try to kiss more and see if she enjoys this attention. 6. Dirty Talk For some of us, dirty talk does not come naturally. This doesn’t mean you can’t partake in this erotic ritual! Dirty talk, like other forms of public speaking, is a skill. An empowering, low-pressure way to hone this skill is by texting. If your love expresses that she wants more dirty talk, suggest to her that you both test drive this virtually before bringing it into the bedroom. This part is important because setting expectations is key to elevating sex. Don’t surprise her with dirty sexts, tell her ahead of time that this is how you’d like to explore dirty talk so she can adjust her expectations as well. Once you both agree to explore erotic communication, try texting each other naughty messages. If you're feeling brave, you can even send a voice message to your lady love. Over time, you can learn how to lubricate each other’s brains (which is our largest sex organ) and eventually get comfortable enough to talk dirty IRL, yum. hitpssimedium.comipleasure-scionce/new-study-reveals-her-top-8-desires-during-sex-B8cSdat4779 49‘varz2, 11:19 AM, "New Study Reveals Her Top 9 Desires During Sex | by Nadége | Pleasure Science | Dec, 2021 | Medium 5. Clitoral Stimulation As I mentioned above, the average clitoris is four inches long and gets an erection just like a penis. Here is a graphic that shows the difference between a flaccid clit and an erect one. There are many ways to stimulate a clitoris. A vibrator is one way, but it can also feel great to use your lips, tongue, or fingers. Try asking your girlfriend if she’s comfortable resting in a butterfly position. Then, use lube or virgin coconut oil to lubricate her vagina, and gently massage with your hands. It can also help to verbally agree that orgasm is not the goal the first time you do this. When we are trying new sex positions, we often put pressure on ourselves to orgasm which will create the opposite result. While exploring clitoral stimulation, take it slow and make the purpose about feeling pleasure not achieving a climax. 4. Be More Aggressive Men get a lot of mixed messages in our current culture. We tell them not to be toxic. We demand that they prioritize consent at all times. Yet women also wish that men would be more aggressive. The key here is that women in relationships want their lovers to be more aggressive. So, women are not asking strangers who hit on them to be more aggressive, but their loving partner with whom they have already established trust. If you think your girlfriend wants you to be more aggressive, ask her for visual examples of what that looks like. Was there an “aggressive” flirty scene in a film ntps:medlum.comipleasure-scionceinew-study-reveal-her-1op-9-desires-curing-sex-B8cSdaf4779 59sag, 1.19 aM New Stuty Reveals Her Top 9 Desires During Sox |by Nadge | Plasure Science | Dec, 2021 | Medium that really turned her on? What is it about this scene that made her lust this situation? Finally, what does aggressive mean to her? Getting visual examples can help clarify what she means when she says she wants aggression. 3. Oral Sex Ironically, I think the first step to better oral sex is by doing trust exercises or communication exercises with your lover when you aren’t having sex. Chances are she is still learning how her body receives pleasure during partnered sex. In order to be present in that process, she needs to be able to trust you with her body. Communication exercises can help her relax and encourage her to advocate for herself, thereby helping her recieve the feeling of pleasure. Someone can be the best pussy eater in the world, but if their girlfriend doesn’t feel safe enough to communicate or relax, she may be too nervous to enjoy herself. Since women are conditioned to prioritize other people before themselves, oral sex can be daunting at first because all the attention is on her. An empowering exercise is a non-erotic massage on the hands, shoulders, or feet. His his job is to pay attention to her body and listen to her feedback as he massages. Her job is to direct him and practice advocating for her bodies needs. Additionally, a skill that men can perfect during oral sex is the art of going slow. Eating pussy is a marathon, not a race. The average woman needs twenty minutes of direct, gentle stimulation to climax from oral sex! So don’t be discouraged if it takes time for a couple to learn how to enjoy oral sex. While she learns how to relax her body and communicate, you can try taking things as slow as possible. hitpssimedium.comipleasure-scionce/new-study-reveals-her-top-8-desires-during-sex-B8cSdat4779 69‘yaaa, 1:19AM New Study Reveals Her Top 9 Doses During Sex |by Nadége| Pleasure Science | De, 2021 | Medium 2. Initiate The majority of straight women want to feel pursued by their men, according to this survey. This means that she wishes you would initiate sex more, but try not to let this put pressure on you — sex is supposed to be fun! Instead, ask her for more details. What makes her feel pursued? What makes her feel appreciated? Does she wish you would buy her more flowers? Or would she feel appreciated if you helped around the house more? Sometimes this desire for a man to “initiate” is less about sex and more about showing up in her life as a solid partner. Don’t assume that you know what it means to initiate sex. Don’t assume that you know what it means to be her man. Discover what taking initiative means to her and take action. It might be way simpler than you think! 1. Foreplay It’s fascinating that the number one thing women want from their male partners is foreplay. Ina way, this encompasses all the other 8 categories. Oral Sex, Kissing, and Clitoral stimulation are the highlight of foreplay. Additionally, good foreplay involves communication, initiative, and dirty talk. Lastly, sex toys are a delightful addition to foreplay! One reason that the orgasm gap is so pervasive in straight couples is because of how the mainstream media portrays sex. We are taught that penetration is sex, which is great for men since penetration makes a penis orgasm 95% of the time. Meanwhile, only 18% of women can orgasm from their g-spot alone. So if all you focus on is penetration, she may never feel satisfied during sex! ntps:medlum.comipleasure-scionceinew-study-reveas-her-1op-9-desires-curing-sex-B8cSdaf4779 719+ai22, 14:19 AM New Study Reveals Her Top 9 Desires During Sox |by Nadége | Plasure Science | Deo, 2021 | Medium Now, it is also possible that you add foreplay to sex, that you go slow, that you focus on her, and she still doesn’t orgasm. If this is the case, it doesn’t mean you are failing. It’s likely that she feels pressure to have an orgasm, and if orgasming has already been elusive for her, this is a nerve-wracking thing to expect! Instead, try having sex where the penis orgasms first and then shift the focus to her. This can alleviate the pressure she feels to cum before you cum. It can also give her permission to take her time if she knows you've already orgasmed. In Conclusion: Practice Makes Pleasure Fuck perfection. Sex gets better over time as trust is built and you both learn how to communicate. Everything on this list from kissing to foreplay is a skill that we develop with our partner. When you enter into a new relationship, this cycle of learning begins again. It can be possible to meet someone and have high sexual compatibility, but eventually, you both will need to learn how to talk and grow as sexual beings. Some days will be hard — and not in the fun way — but each obstacle unlocks a new level of pleasure. Don’t get discouraged, just get some lube and maintain an open mind. No one is an expert at sex, we are all students. Learn together and achieve more orgasms along the way. Nadege is a sex scholar who uses her knowledge to bring warmth to heavy topics. ntps:fmedlum.comipleasure-scionceinew-study-reveals-her-top-9-desires-curing-sex-B8cSdaf4779 8911a, 1:19 AM Now Study Reveals Her Top 9 Desires During Sox |by Nadégo | Plasure Science | Des, 2021 | Medium Click here for 5 Life-Hacks About Sex From a Neuroscientist. 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