In pursuit of becoming a doctor, you will be tested how much you want to become one.

You will
see how much you love your dream and realize too many real reasons why you are eager to go against all
odds. Life may bring me an easy way out, dare to change course, or slow down. But it will be my
determination to become who I want to be that always prevail.
Rotating in medical department, I had doubts if I could make it. There were lonely and sad nights
when I thought to leave and were times to not go rounds to my patients. There were challenges continue to
arise even up to this day. Workload and family problem made it harder for me to keep up. I faced with a
choice to just give up the rotation or endure. Having tatay, who recently had failed gastrectomy and
recently diagnosed with signet ring cell adenocarcinoma stage IV, who’s having chemoradiation, whom I
always feed via PEG is a difficult task to do. Thinking to get a one-to-two-hour bus away from him was
hard. Honestly, I almost get out of the track. Thankful that doc Dan reminded me that I do not need to rush
accomplishing what I was working hard for. I did self-talk to the point that made me realize that after
everything I've gone through, my story could not just end in seeing myself give up— NO! This story could
not just end up without seeing the worth to become a doctor.
I admit, I came into this battle unprepared; physically, spiritually and emotionally. I saw almost all
walks of life— a family being hurt beyond words when they face the grief and trauma of losing a loved
one; a nurse giving his all to revive the patient; watchers being scared being their patient to be next in line.
And what others don’t know, the “me”experiencing emotional and physical exhaustion whenever I see
patients suffering and even dying, no matter what I do to help them. I am not immune to pain nor darkness,
and no one is immune to it.
To all my patients I’m leaving, I personally thank you for coming in my life. You molded me
more, not only just because of what I learned in medical school, but also opening my eyes and heart that I
can learn a lesson not from my books but from you. Thank you for challenging me to elevate my skills.
To all the relatives, watchers or bantays I encountered, I thank you for the patience you’ve had
given me. You molded me to be strong and firm and taught me to read before I ask and speak. Please know
that your suffering is also my suffering and a loss... is much a heartbreaking loss for me.
To all my patients up above, may your soul be at peace. You knew how much I wanted to save you
all, but it’s not my hand that caressed you with rest.
To all consultants, interns, and co-clerks— thank you is not enough to express how grateful I am.
You nurtured, allowed me to break down and keep moving forward. You taught me that I have a story and
that this story matters. With honesty and vulnerability, I open doors that otherwise stay closed. You taught
me that despite my flaws and brokenness, this story is still valid and gave me the strength to continue
because you taught me to see the world differently and treat the world differently.
To my service residents, doc Racquel, doc Vicka, doc Den, doc Kate, doc Tin, doc Rhona, doc
Gehla, doc Paz, thank you for the effort to be kind and patient to me, no matter how small a role I played in
patients’ life and teaching me to see the adventure while learning in any situation. Doing rounds everyday
made a difference in me with an incredible experience and I hope that one day I can have just as much
compassion as you have. You love with all your heart and it’s something I wish I possessed.
To the clerks’ monitors, doc Ara and doc Faye, I look up to you. You have taught me so many
things, to the endless morning AdCons, surprise quizzes. Thank you for inspiring me in life. Thank you for
making me want to follow in your footsteps. You have walked with me through some of the most turbulent
times in my life and am eternally grateful. Thank you for always understanding. You never judged but
accepted me.
Thank you is not enough— I may not say it directly to all people who surrounded me throughout
this journey. You have gained and redeveloped my confidence, patience, empathy, and skills. Thank you
for allowing me to let my wings fly and soar high towards above minimum… and of course for enriching
my life.

VALLESTEROS, Matthew R. Junior Intern Group E

 Sadly, this rotation has come to a pause. Just like in the road that has to break, I wish not to lose
the grip of my steering wheel because I’m on the road. And may the light shine my way to not lose the
sight of my destination. I am leaving this heart and mind… for the love of all.

JI Thea, wheeling to post-grad internship

VALLESTEROS, Matthew R. Junior Intern Group E