The author expresses experiencing only pain and struggling with tough times, lacking patience, hope and belief. They feel incomplete from growing up without their father and have many questions for him. Suicidal thoughts come to mind as they have been fighting for over two years, feeling tired and having let people down. They wish to help their family escape poverty by achieving their goals but feel blocked by jealousy and witchcraft from others.
The author expresses experiencing only pain and struggling with tough times, lacking patience, hope and belief. They feel incomplete from growing up without their father and have many questions for him. Suicidal thoughts come to mind as they have been fighting for over two years, feeling tired and having let people down. They wish to help their family escape poverty by achieving their goals but feel blocked by jealousy and witchcraft from others.
The author expresses experiencing only pain and struggling with tough times, lacking patience, hope and belief. They feel incomplete from growing up without their father and have many questions for him. Suicidal thoughts come to mind as they have been fighting for over two years, feeling tired and having let people down. They wish to help their family escape poverty by achieving their goals but feel blocked by jealousy and witchcraft from others.
line-break: after-white-space;">Listening to music calms my nerves <div>I am
really dying inside </div><div>I only experience one emotion and thats pain,its the only thing i feel</div><div><br></div><div>Well i have been through tough times but as the saying goes :”tough times never last,only tough people do”. </div><div><br></div><div>It is true though but along the road you get a flat tyre some have the equipment some don’t have the equipment to fix their flat tyre.</div><div><br></div><div>This time my equipment is not with me </div><div>What equipment some may wonder?</div><div>Well patience,hope and belief. Its really tough for me.</div><div><br></div><div>Not one but many things running on my mind out of the many things there is one positive thought but just like a single burning candle in one dark place it will burn up and all that will be left is darkness.</div><div><br></div><div>Growing up without my identical father it somehow feels as if im not a fully developed man couse i don’t have a bond with him,he was never here to teach me the principals of being a man.</div><div><br></div><div>Just like a garbage truck my trash piles up when i think of the things i lack because of him.Someway one day i will have to dump this pile of trash that i keep bottled up in my head couse its toxic for my health.</div><div><br></div><div>Uncountable questions awaiting for him one day if i meet him surely he is going to feel like he is being interviewed.He better have a good and very reasonable speech in order to convince me to forgive.</div><div><br></div><div>Now and then the thoughts of suicide come to my mind couse really i am tired </div><div>this fight which i am fighting for 2 and a half years has torn me apart couse along the way people were let down.</div><div><br></div><div>I really am not the one to blame for all the things happening.Many would not understand because they never endured such problems along their way.</div><div><br></div><div>I wish i could take off the shoes and let them walk a while but i don’t want anyone else to experience the chaos that is going on in my life couse it is bad.</div><div><br></div><div>A question many ask themselves is : “why me?”. Really though why me couse i haven’t made someone else’s life bad like they are making mine.</div><div><br></div><div>Why jealousy of them all why not rather encourage and support me along the way. Im just a child born in a small village with big city dreams. </div><div><br></div><div>All i want to do is help my family get out of poverty by achieving my goals.The road to that beautifull destination is always difficult but some people want to destroy it just by making it impossible for you.</div><div><br></div><div>Believe it or not witchcraft is real! Thats what the people are using on me to block my way to success.It is caused by jealousy of the other because of the fear that the other might accomplish something better.</div><div><br></div><div>I have tried praying, but here and there get hope and then it fades away.I have tried to be emotionally strong but i only get strong until a certain point then im back to sqaure one.</div><div><br></div><div>I think i also started getting depressed too but not on a very serious level. I overthink a lot because all i think is about letting the important people in my life down and losing them couse bit by bit it is happening.</div><div><br></div><div>I think about my future like if i am really not going to make it as many say.Its sad to see how your life gets destroyed by others,your dreams being taken away from you.</div><div><br></div><div>Day and night i think about whether living like this is worth it.I could take my life easily if i wanted to but i don’t want to couse my mother more pain than she already has gone through.</div><div><br></div><div>There is so much to express but i will just try to let my soul rest .</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div></body></html>