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line-break: after-white-space;">Listening to music calms my nerves&nbsp;<div>I am


really dying inside&nbsp;</div><div>I only experience one emotion and thats
pain,its the only thing i feel</div><div><br></div><div>Well i have been through
tough times but as the saying goes :”tough times never last,only tough people
do”.&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>It is true though but along the road you get a
flat tyre some have the equipment some don’t &nbsp;have the equipment to fix their
flat tyre.</div><div><br></div><div>This time my equipment is not with
me&nbsp;</div><div>What equipment some may wonder?</div><div>Well patience,hope and
belief. Its really tough for me.</div><div><br></div><div>Not one but many things
running on my mind out of the many things &nbsp;there is one positive thought but
just like a single burning candle in one dark place it will burn up and all that
will be left is darkness.</div><div><br></div><div>Growing up without my identical
father it somehow feels as if im not a fully developed man couse i don’t have a
bond with him,he was never here to teach me the principals of being a
man.</div><div><br></div><div>Just like a garbage truck my trash piles up when i
think &nbsp;of the things i lack because of him.Someway one day i will have to dump
this pile of trash that i keep bottled up in my head couse its toxic for my
health.</div><div><br></div><div>Uncountable questions awaiting for him one day if
i meet him surely he is going to feel like he is being interviewed.He better have a
good and very reasonable speech in order to convince me to
forgive.</div><div><br></div><div>Now and then the thoughts of suicide come to my
mind couse really i am tired&nbsp;</div><div>this fight which i am fighting for 2
and a half years has torn me apart couse along the way people were let
down.</div><div><br></div><div>I really am not the one to blame for all the things
happening.Many would not understand because they never endured such problems along
their way.</div><div><br></div><div>I wish i could take off the shoes and let them
walk a while but i don’t want anyone else to experience the chaos that is going on
in my life couse it is bad.</div><div><br></div><div>A question many ask
&nbsp;themselves is : “why me?”. Really though why me couse i haven’t made someone
else’s life bad like they are making mine.</div><div><br></div><div>Why jealousy of
them all why not rather encourage and support me along the way. Im just a child
born in a small village with big city dreams.&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>All i
want to do is help my family get out of poverty by achieving my goals.The road to
that beautifull destination is always difficult but some people want to destroy it
just by making it impossible for you.</div><div><br></div><div>Believe it or not
witchcraft is real! Thats what the people are using on me to block my way to
success.It is caused &nbsp;by jealousy of the other because of the fear that the
other might accomplish something better.</div><div><br></div><div>I have tried
praying, but here and there get hope and then it fades away.I have tried to be
emotionally strong but i only get strong until a certain point then im back to
sqaure one.</div><div><br></div><div>I think i also started getting depressed too
but not on a very serious level. I overthink a lot because all i think is about
letting the important people in my life down and losing them couse bit by bit it is
happening.</div><div><br></div><div>I think about my future like if i am really not
going to make it as many say.Its sad to see how your life gets destroyed by
others,your dreams being taken away from you.</div><div><br></div><div>Day and
night i think about whether living like this is worth it.I could take &nbsp;my life
easily if i wanted to but i don’t want to couse my mother more pain than she
already has gone through.</div><div><br></div><div>There is so much to express but
i will just try to let my soul rest
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